Season 3, Episode 19, “It’s Raining Men”

Going by the name of the episode it’s pretty safe to assume that this one is starring Marco.

Pre-Credit Opener: Marco pulls up next to Paige, Spinner and Hazel and all excited shows them the poster for the semi formal. Geesh this guy is way too into himself, because it’s him and Ellie in East Indian garb. But goddamn, his dad comes out and he looks and sounds like Super Mario. Degrassi tries really hard to be liberal but holy moley if this isn’t an Italian stereotype right here. Anyways, the girls start to talk about how they’re going to win king and queen of the formal and Marco’s dad tells them that Marco is going to be the king. He just has to find the right queen. Poor bastard, he doesn’t realize that he already found his queen and it’s Dylan. But let’s be serious here guys. In that situation, Marco would be the queen.

In the hallway Marco is telling Dylan how embarrassing his dad is and he tells him that he already likes a guy. Being all awkward Marco can’t find the courage to ask Dylan to the stupid dance. Dylan taking the initiative asks Marco out to a zombie movie. But Marco being stupid says that they freak him out, so Dylan is going to ask another gay dude named Tom instead.

Oh lord, we come to the B plot and it involves JT dressing like a wigger while peddling curly fries in the cafeteria. Apparently there’s going to be a commercial for it since the fries are going to be in school cafeteria’s all over the country. Manny passes by and it’s obvious that JT still has a thing for her. He says hi to her, but she just walks on by because she’s so depressed in how her life is going at the moment. After that JT convinces Toby to have a launch party for his commercial at his place.

Speaking of the cafeteria, Spinner comes along and asks Marco all loud if he has a thing for Dylan. Marco all embarrassed says yes but he’s scared to ask him out. Funny how Spinner of all people is helping him out. Good for him for getting over his hatred of queer people. In the hallway Marco is just about to make his move but then Tom comes along. He’s gayer than Marco and Dylan combined. So he’s definitely Degrassi’s top gay. Marco see’s them together and leaves all disappointed.

We cut to Mrs Hotass’s science class and Spinner freaks Marco out by showing him a picture of a bee. Spinner then asks him what’s up with that Tom character and Marco wants to grind his balls into dust because he stole his crush. Man Marco has zero confidence because all he does is put himself down and has completely given up on getting with his favorite piece of beef cake.

Out in the hallway again Spinner decides to take it upon himself to hook Marco and Dylan up. This looks very bizarre because they both have the same hairstyle and it just seems like Spinner is talking to himself. Spinner see’s Tom coming and gives Dylan a hug. Dylan says, “What is this, hug the homo day?” Tom seeing a manly man like Spinner runs away in fear. After getting rid of him Spinner tells Dylan that Marco really likes him and that Dylan should ask him out. Dylan thinks that he isn’t ready and since Dylan had a horrible first gay date, he doesn’t want the same thing to happen to Marco. Spinner just tells him to think about it.

At cheer practice, Paige tries to complement JT but he just brushes her off so he can go and talk to Manny. He corners her and begs her to go to his party. She doesn’t want to because she’s Degrassi’s top slut and she knows that everyone knows it too. But she feels sorry for him and reluctantly agrees to go.

We go to Marco and he’s getting more and more depressed because he see’s couple after happy couple. At his locker Dylan comes along and says that he’s into him. Now that he knows, Dylan asks him out to the zombie movie and Marco agrees to go on his first date.

In the next scene we go to Spinner’s house and he’s playing with fucking toy dinosaurs. It’s hilarious. He quickly hides them like Dark Helmet because Marco just comes barging in with an arm full of clothes. Of course this being Marco, he’s freaking out and he wants to find the best outfit for the occasion. I don’t know how his dad doesn’t know that he’s gay because all his clothes are gayer than a motherfucker. He has a gay looking disco shirt, a Dracula/Hamlet looking shirt and even a goddamn cowboy shirt. Spinner vetos all of those choices by making fun of him and tells him to just keep it simple. At that Marco thanks him for helping him out.

Dylan finally comes by Spinner’s house to pick up Marco. He comes out wearing a stupid hat and Dylan points out that the hat is more for a club. Marco feels bad about the fashion faux pas, but he can’t dwell on it because there’s a bee in the car and he freaks out and makes a total fool of himself. But Dylan just thinks it’s cute. At their date Marco and Dylan are talking about their fears and you can tell that Marco is finally feeling more and more comfortable.

It’s finally time for JT’s party and Manny is having the worst time ever sitting next to two stoner look alikes. The commercial comes on and it’s the lamest thing ever. It’s so hard to describe, but it features a dog dressed just like him and his big catch phrase is, “Hey don’t be all up in my fries, dog.” After the commercial ends everyone is just sitting there in dead silence. Jimmy tells him if people make fun of him tomorrow, he should just tell them his catch phrase. At that, everyone starts to laugh their asses off at him and JT is experiencing humiliations galore. Especially because his crush Manny is right there witnessing it all.

Meanwhile at the movie Marco goes for it and holds Dylan’s hand. As they’re leaving Marco is mortified to see that his parents are at the mall too and they run into them. Marco not having the guts to say that they’re on a date simply tells them that he just happened to run into him. At that his dad invites them to dinner. And what a surprise, they go to an Italian restaurant. Marco’s parents start to go off on Marco and how he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Marco’s humiliation increases when an obviously gay waiter comes to their table and his dad Mario starts to make fun of him as soon as he leaves. He says, “How can that fagola carry the trays with his limp wrists?” He then starts to go off more on gay people and that the thought of gay sex is disgusting. Marco upset now tells him to shut the fuck up. Dylan, either being pissed off or just embarrassed decides to go home early. Thus ending their date.

The next day of school Jay and Sean are already making fun of JT and his lame commercial. Manny comes by and tries to cheer him up. She mentions that his commercial sucked but that he was actually great in it. JT says that she should tell people that. But she doesn’t think that anyone would want to listen to Degrassi’s resident whore. They sort of start to flirt and they go into the school.

The episode ends with Dylan and Marco having a heart to heart scene. Marco is apologizing about his dad and his anti gay shit. Dylan tells him that it wasn’t a big deal and that they’ve both heard worse. Marco was afraid that Dylan wouldn’t want to talk to him again. He says that he considered it, but ultimately he likes Marco and to prove the point he kisses him. Good thing they were in a back alley or else everyone would have seen them.

So yeah, this episode was very gay and Degrassi delivered. I enjoyed the episode and it was good to see Spinner finally mature. Even though he was playing with toys. Plus the whole JT commercial was pretty amusing as well. In the future Degrassi will go really queer, so this episode here wasn’t shit compared to future episodes and seasons. Now that I think about it, I believe this was Degrassi’s first gay kiss. But certainly not the last.

Season 3, Episode, 18 “Rock and Roll High School”

Welcome back to another episode review of Degrassi. Call me crazy, but I’ve always enjoyed this episode for some inexplicable reason. I mean, it has shitty singing from both Craig and Ashley, but got damn it, this is still a good one.

Pre-Credit Opener: Marco, Spinner and Jimmy happen to find Craig just staring at an ad on the school wall. Turns out it’s for a battle of the bands and the prize is to win studio time to record a single that no one will ever hear. The dudes much like Joey Jeremiah have delusions of grandeur. Ashley comes along and tells the guys to get out of the way because they’re signing up too. Craig tries to make nice but Ashley is obviously still angry about Craig porking and getting Manny pregnant. She predicts that the girls are going to kick their ass off the stage.

In Joey’s garage Craig is struggling to write some lyrics and it’s clear that he’s talentless. The rest of the guys walk in and Marco is seriously wimping out telling everyone that the girls are really good at playing emo rock. Well they do have the power to ward off sexual predators. Craig tells the guys that there is no fucking way that he’s going to allow Ashley to beat them. They start to jam and Craig starts to go off on everyone because they suck. Jimmy tells him to chill out before he breaks a foot up in his ass.

At Degrassi, Paige is telling the girls that Terri is doing much better, she might even open her eyes soon. Shit that is not doing better. She’s basically an invalid. Ashley for some reason hasn’t even gone to see her. That’s pretty low considering they were once best friends. Mrs Kwan walks in and Ashley starts to read lyrics from a song she just wrote and what a surprise it’s a downer. Craig starts to giggle and this mightily pisses Ashley off. Outside of class Ashley explains to the girls that it’s about a girl who died in the Spanish Civil War. Out of all the wars that have happened why that one and what 15, 16 year old girl talks about shit like that? Ellie tells her that it sucked and that it’s supposed to be about something about her. Ashley makes the song about Craig, again, what a surprise.

We cut to the B plot and it involves Joey and Caitlin.  Joey’s busy getting his grocery’s out of the truck of his used car that he drives around from his lot and that’s when Caitlin arrives in a cab. Angela is so excited to see her that she drops and breaks the eggs. Joey is super pissed because this means that he has to go to the dollar store again to get more. She starts to cry rather badly because she’s a horrible actress and Caitlin tries to cheer her up by doing a cartwheel. Joey tries to show that he’s fun and does a hand stand. Then he promptly busts his ass and hurts his back bad.

At the Degrassi mall kiosk Ashley and Craig run into each other and he tries to apologize for what happened. But this is Craig we’re talking about and he only apologizes for making fun of her song and not fucking Manny’s brains out. She get’s even more offended and leaves huffing and puffing away. Craig reasons that Manny seduced him, so he’s blameless.

The next scene is at Joey’s house where he’s dying from his back pain. I’ve had that before and it’s the worst pain ever. So for once I sympathize with him. Angela playing with Caitlin jumps on Joey and hurts his back even more. He can’t stand no more so he’s sending Angela away to his mom’s until he feels better. But Caitlin says that she’ll stay and take care of the both of them. Joey pretty much says that she’s not up to taking care of Angela because she’s a pain in the ass. But still she insists on helping. So she yells out to Angela and with crazy eyes says that she’s taking care of them both.

I guess we’re at the auditions for the battle of the bands and the guys are just doing an instrumental because they have no lyrics to their song yet. Craig all nervous says that he’ll take care of it. Coach Armstrong announces the next group and they’re called Hell Hath No Fury. The girls then come on and Ashley proceeds to destroy Craig and his character.

I’m already bored with the Joey, Caitlin subplot. Angela is being a little shit again and tells Caitlin that she doesn’t want to eat the slop that she made for breakfast. So Caitlin being stupid makes her some pancakes instead of telling her to eat her bowl of crap.

In Snake’s class, Craig walks in all pissed off and he tells Ashley that her lyrics weren’t cool. I don’t know why he’s so upset for, their song wasn’t even that great. Ashley and Ellie starts to say that he’s so vain because he thinks that the song is about him. Craig points out the obvious that Ashley is a bitter angry person and if she wasn’t such a prude, he never would have banged Manny. Which is the truth. Ashley all sarcastic says, ” But I thought you loved her.” It seems like Craig is about to tell her to go fuck herself but Snake tells them to shut up.

In the next scene Craig is telling the guys that he’s out of the competition, but Spinner says that if Ashley wants a war then she has it. We then get a horrible, lame rap that it’s obvious that Drake wrote it. Basically it’s about how much Ashley sucks as a person. Marco of course doesn’t like it and he takes him outside for some advice. Marco’s solution? For Craig to scream all his stress out. Yeah, that’ll do it.

Back to Joey’s house, Angela is now acting like a spoiled little shithead and tells Joey that her day out shopping was just ok even though she got a lot of new toys courtesy of Caitlin. She then announces that she’s going outside to play, but Caitlin tells her to wash up since it’s almost dinner time. Angela ignores her and starts to go out anyways. that’s when Caitlin finally get’s pissed off and tells her to get her ass upstairs and to wash her filthy hands. Angela says, “I hate you.” and goes upstairs stomping her damn feet. Joey of course being a big push over does nothing to punish his rotten little daughter.

Finally it’s time for the Battle of the Bands and the girls are wearing Craig on their shirts and it seems like his face is melting like on Raiders of the Lost Ark. Craig has had it with her petty shit and he starts to whine about how she won’t stop making his life a living hell. She starts to go off on him and says that he broke her heart when he fucked Manny into motherhood and says that she wanted to die because she’s emo as hell. Craig says that he’s sorry and says how many times he has to say it. Ashley all full of sass says, “Until you mean it.”

Ashley and the girls are then seen performing their ode to Craig and the crowd is just loving it. Outside it seems that Craig has flown the coop because he’s nowhere to be seen. Spinner says that they’ll be ok and they’ll use his lyrics instead.

The MC for the event comes out and he looks like Anton LaVey from the Church of Satan. (Google him) Oh we finally find out what their band name is and it’s The Downtown Sasquatch. I gotta say, I like it. Spinner makes an ass of himself and before he can embarrass himself further Craig comes out with a sheet of paper. It’s obvious he finally wrote the lyrics for their song. It’s pretty much about how he just realized how much he hurt Ashley and he feels like a complete pile of shit because of it. It’s hilarious to me that he just barely figured out that he broke Ashley’s heart. I gotta say, even though Craig sucks, it’s a very catchy tune.

We close out the B plot and Joey tells Caitlin that kids like Angela need limits and be told what to do. Caitlin sort of feels better for yelling at his annoying kid.

And so after just two bands the battle of the bands is over and the dudes are triumphant! Ashley comes by and tells Craig that his lyrics were just right. So shit, it seems like finally Ashley is over her heart break. And if you ask me, it’s about time.

So yeah, like I said, this was a good, entertaining episode. Even though I hate myself for sort of liking Craig’s song. True, the whole subplot with Angela and Caitlin was irritating as hell, but it was small enough that it didn’t effect the rest of the episode.

Season 3, Episode 17, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”

So we return to an Episode that “Goes There”. That’s right this is the big Terri get’s fucked up by her boyfriend episode. I’m not sure, but I believe this is the last episode she’s featured in, or maybe she makes one last appearance as the season concludes. But who cares. Let’s see how Terri get’s taken out of Degrassi. Man, what a DeBummer.

Pre-Credit Opener: We open up with Paige telling the gang that she has her parents mini van for the weekend and you know what that means. Party!! Everyone is super excited except for Terri because she doesn’t have that special someone to go on what’s most likely going to be a lame road trip. Hazel tells her, “You’ll be with all of your friends idiot!” Paige tells her to bring someone and we all know who Terri is thinking of bringing along because she is indeed an idiot.

Oh what a surprise. Yet again Mrs Kwan is teaching something that isn’t remotely related to language class. I would say she’s more of a life skills teacher. I remember when I was in Jr High we had a class called Life Skills class. And it was pretty much stupid shit like this. Rick and Terri become partners for a trust exercise and yeah, it’s pretty predictable. They each fall into each other’s arms and with that, Rick weasel’s his way into Terri’s heart again.

After class Rick tells Terri that he wanted to call her to apologize for beating the hell out of her, but he was too much of a chicken shit to do it. He goes on to say that he misses her and the fact that she hung out with Paige all the time made stalking her hard. Terri just leaves and says she’ll talk to him later.

In Snake’s class Marco is being a little brown noser and tells him that the sub that they had sucked ass and they’re all glad that he’s back. Snake is back to his old self. At least he’s not a dick anymore. Oh lord Marco and Ellie have a night of watching an Indian movie double feature. What a couple of bores I swear. Ashley points out to Ellie that Sean like most normal teenage boys wouldn’t sit through that kind of boring bullshit. Ellie says, “Why would Sean come?” Ashley points out that they are sort of seeing each other, but Ellie is adamant that things haven’t changed between her and Marco just because she’s seeing Sean now. Yeah, we all know this isn’t going to end well.

At Caitlin’s TV station Sean walks into Caitlin and Ellie’s bull session. Sean cuts to the chase and he wants to watch a new movie called Elimination Round 3. Ellie says that she wants to go with him, but she realized that she has a boring evening with Marco planned already. What’s a girl to do?

We cut to The Dot and everyone is disgusted and pissed off at Terri for bringing Rick along to their sacred hangout. Paige all full of fury says that she’s not going to be driving that asshole around all day long. Spinner points out that it’s better that they come along since they’ll be able to keep an eye on them.

Ha! The poster to Elimination Round 3 features a bald black dude and none other than motherfucking Yick Yu! Marco and Ellie come along and right away he’s acting like such a woman. Sean much like I would be in that situation is disappointed that she brought him along.

So it’s finally time for the big road trip and it seems like they just went to the local Degrassi park. Rick sit’s his ass on the hood of the van and tells Terri to come and join him. Paige all annoyed tells him to get the hell off before he and Terri put the mother of all dents on it.

Back at the movie Marco and Ellie are acting like a couple of assholes. You can tell that they think that they’re sophisticated and that an action movie is beneath them. Jay get’s so annoyed at them that he throws popcorn at Marco. Sean then reaches for some popcorn but he touches Marco’s hand instead. He probably wants to boil it because he thinks he has gay now.

The scene cuts back to the park and Paige is fuming and you can tell she’s about to blow. Rick goes to get what I’m assuming is food for Terri. She takes that as an opportunity to talk to her about Rick. Terri being a fool says that he apologized. Paige getting more irritated by the minute shouts out, “Of course, that’s what his kind does!” Rick comes out of nowhere and starts to tell Paige that she has no right to tell Terri who she can be friends with and that she’s a backstabber. I don’t know how she is in that situation. It’s not like she ever fucked Rick over like she did to Manny and Hazel. Anyways, Paige goes on to call him a psycho and Rick loses it and kicks Paige’s mini van and leaves. Terri being on Rick’s side starts to yell at Paige. She pretty much says that she’s sick of her shit and constantly being told what to do. Paige having enough yells at her to go after him if she’s such a bad friend. I gotta say, I’ve been in Paige’s situation before with people like Terri. Especially when they get back together with someone they know is toxic. It’s very annoying and frustrating, but you can’t control people. Even if they are fucking stupid.

Out in some field where a bunch of bricks are just laying around, Rick is going crazy kicking at the air in anger. Terri starts to apologize about Paige but Rick cuts off her shouting, “She does not matter!” Terri says, “Calm down day time Emmy.” He does and goes on to say that he’s happy that they’re together again. After they kiss, Terri starts to pull him along and says to just ignore Paige. He tugs her back all aggressive and says he’d rather walk back. Terri points out that it’s far walk. Rick says that she called him a psycho. Paige tells Rick that that’s just Paige being herself, which is a bitch. Rick now is starting to get more aggravated and says, “What? That makes it ok? My feelings mean nothing to you?” Terri starts to panic from his vise like grip thanks to him hulking out due to anger again. She says that she’s going back because he’s hurting her. At that he loses it and yells, “You’re not going! You’re not!!” And then pushes her and Terri fucking splits her head open falling on top of one of the random cinder blocks just lying around. At this point Rick makes a shocked face because he knows that he went way over the line. He went up to 11 with that fury.

We cut back to Paige and she’s clearly worried about Terri because it’s been awhile since she left. They come out of the bushes and spot Rick kneeling next to Terri’s carcass. Rick looking like OJ with Terri’s blood all over his hands panics and runs away. I love how Spinner made no attempt to chase him and stomp his ass into the ground. Instead he runs to get his cell phone.

At Degrassi Mr Raditch is telling the entire class that Terri was maimed that weekend and is in the hospital until further notice. Marco starts to ask Snake if it was an accident and Spinner cuts him off by saying that it wasn’t an accident. Ashley wonders out loud if Rick is in jail. Snake tells everyone since he’s a minor he’s not allowed to talk about any specifics. Spinner tells him that if he see’s Rick, his ass is grass. Oh lord Snake then says, “We can talk about our feelings together.” I’m with Spinner, get the fuck out of here with that hippy bullshit Snake. Paige busts out this lame looking get well card for Terri and everyone signs it.

Back to the B plot, Ellie is telling Marco that she doesn’t really want to go visit Terri since she didn’t even know her. And you know what? Why should she? Marco offers to go with her and that’s when Sean comes by and get’s instantly annoyed at seeing Marco next to Ellie. He makes a major alpha move and makes Marco move out of the way. It’s hilarious. Ellie now pissed off leaves Sean by himself and goes with Marco. Ellie doesn’t seem to know how to act in a relationship.

The next scene is at the local Degrassi hospital. Terri is so messed up that she’s now in a coma. Terri’s dad comes along and tells Spinner and Paige that she’ll be having surgery later on in the night because she has a blood clot. He then starts to go off on Rick and he can’t believe that little prick would hurt his daughter like he did. By the look on their faces he picks up on the fact that they knew that he was being abusive towards her.  Understandably he yells at the both of them and asks why the hell didn’t they say anything. The both of them just leave with tears in their eyes.

Outside The Dot Paige stops her mini van and starts to cry. Spinner tells her that she’s going to be ok and gives her a little smooch. At that Paige aggressively starts to make out with him. Even Spinner being a big horn dog isn’t down for this shit. Paige of course get’s all pissed off and starts with the blame game. She goes on to say that none of this would have happened if Spinner would have just left them behind like she wanted to. Spinner now angry blurts out the fact that she’s the one who told her to go off with him. Check mate!

Inside, Ellie is telling Marco that she should dump Sean because he’s being rude towards Marco. Marco points out that the only rude one in that relationship is her. Plus he’s tired of being her security blanket and feeling like a third wheel. I think he just doesn’t want to hang out with Sean’s scumbag friends.

All dejected, Spinner makes his way back to Degrassi and then he spots Rick waiting inside a car. Spinner get’s super pissed and drags his ass out. Rick starts to yell, “Spinner stop!” Spinner asks him if he stopped when he ravaged Terri. Paige then comes along pleading for him to stop too. Rick’s mom then comes out of the school and tells them to leave her son alone. Spinner just leaves crying. Ugh! I would have been like Kevin Dillon’s character in Platoon and told Spinner, “Fucking pussy! He’s laughing at you!” I would have beat the shit out Rick. But you know, this is Degrassi and it wants to teach that an eye for an eye is not the way. Spinner sits on a bench and starts to cry to Paige that he’s no different than Rick. Paige tells him that he is different because he stopped himself. *Eye roll* Whatever.

We conclude the B plot by Sean and Ellie having a conversation about their relationship. They both think that they’re dumping each other. Ellie tells him that she’s sorry for being a horrible girlfriend, and then she says, “You haven’t been a great boyfriend either.” I don’t know how she figures this, but Sean knowing better just agrees with her craziness and says that he doesn’t hate Marco, he just wants to date her.

At the hospital Terri’s dad comes out and tells them that they don’t know if she’s brain damaged or not. They all apologize for their behavior and Paige says that they should have said something. He makes them feel better by saying that they’re good friends.

Man, I must be rusty, this took me about two hours to write. Ridiculous. But this was a pretty good episode. I guess we had to have a domestic violence story and Degrassi delivered. I still say Rick should have had his balls cut off for what he did. Another frustrating thing is that we never found out if Rick was punished or not. But this is Degrassi after all and they always like to leave things open ended.

Season 3, Episode 16, “Take On Me”

Ok all you Degrassi maniacs, this episode is possibly one of the worst episodes of the series. Definitely the worst one for this season. This is an episode that make’s me think, “Well this is unpleasant. Why do I want to be here?”

Pre-Credit Opener: Ellie comes up to the school and makes a face that pretty much shows that she doesn’t want to be there. We then see that she has some OCD thing because she starts to flick a rubber band she has on her wrist. Man she’s more fucked up than I thought. In the cafeteria Mr Raditch walks in dressed like a Mississippi Pimp. No, he’s obviously trying to dress like the asshole teacher was in The Breakfast Club. The students there are Sean, Ellie, Jimmy, Hazel and Toby. Anyways, Raditch just lays down the law and tells them to study and to think about why they’re there. Sean being a rebel burps at him as he’s walking out.

Being lameo’s they actually do what Raditch tells them to do. Except for Sean. Sean is just throwing his prized rubber ball against a wall, annoying everyone. Jimmy can’t stand it and just has to say something. Sean tells him to fuck off and throws the ball up. It knocks down a part of the ceiling almost killing Ellie. But Ellie does’t care about her well being, she just cares that it fell on her emo bag. Sean goes to see if everything is alright and Ellie acts all strange like she doesn’t want anyone near her bag.

I guess they don’t want to get into trouble so the guys are trying to put the ceiling tile back. But because Toby is a useless idiot he can’t get it back in. All of a sudden they get unbalanced and fall to the floor killing Toby. Yes! The moment that I’ve been waiting for. But no, they just fell and didn’t even get hurt. The episode would have been much better if it was one of those situations where they killed Toby and they got rid of his body and they all made a pact never to talk about it again. But they would never do something awesome like that. By the way, the stunt person they used for Toby looks hilariously bad. Anyways, Ellie helps Sean up and they seem to have a connection. Just like Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald!

Barely an hour has passed and Hazel is complaining about the Saturday detention taking an eon to be finished. Sean rolls his eyes and she says, “Some of us have social engagements.” Sean responds with, “Like what? Combing Paige’s ass hairs?” Jimmy acting like Emilo Estevez tells him to back his shit off. Ignoring him because Sean can easily kick his ass as we’ve seen in past seasons, he wonders out loud what Hazel did to end up in Saturday detention. Ellie all of a sudden says that she got caught skipping class. They all make a face like they don’t care and who asked her. Jimmy goes on to say that he’s there because gopher balls over on the other table fucked up hacking the school computer and ratted him out. Hazel meanwhile avoids the question and runs to the rest room instead.

Oh lord. Radich must be at the peak of his homosexuality and is working out with some tight work out clothes and listening to some disco music in the school gym. Hazel walks in and he’s obviously embarrassed that she saw him doing his jazzercize .

Later on the five of them have become so bored that they start to play truth or dare. Seems like it’s Hazel’s turn and she says that she choose’s truth. Ellie right away wants to know why she’s there. Hazel being odd about it doesn’t want to say and says that she wants to do dare instead. Of course they pick out the worst dare that anyone could have come up with. She has to kiss Toby. Disgusted at first she decides to take a bite out of her shit sandwich and walks over to him. The cheesiest sexy music comes on and and she gives him a kiss while Toby is making a face that he can’t believe that a hot girl like Hazel would ever kiss a fucking dweeb like him.

Outside the school Snake is coming out of his car still looking like Lex Luthor but is looking much better. Seems like he’s finally coming back to work.

Back to the lame Breakfast Club, Toby is telling Hazel that JT is going to be so jealous after he hears that he kissed Hazel. Hazel tells him that he’s not telling him shit. Sean asks her what her problem is since it was just a stupid dare. Jimmy speaking for all of us, especially me says, “Because she’s too embarrassed to say that she macked with a total geek.” Toby knowing that he’s hated by all leaves all disappointed and back to his spot under the stairs like the troll that he is. Sean now pissed off starts to get mad at her and says that she’s a person who follows all the rules and doesn’t have the balls to tell anyone why she’s there. After Sean starts hounding her Hazel admits that she got caught looking at porn on the school computer, much to the delight of all of them.

To make the time go by fast they start to play games where they’re throwing shit at Toby. I told you, no one likes him. Snake comes in and asks them what is going on in there. Jimmy tells him that they’re all there because Mr Raditch gave them all Saturday’s. Snake then tells everyone that he’s all done with chemo and he’s ready to work again. He just doesn’t want to be stuck at home with Spike and her Devil child. So who can blame him.

Sean sits next to Ellie and he asks her what’s up with her and the rubber bands. Ellie tells him that it’s a therapy technique to help her stop cutting herself. Sean being genuinely interested asks her why she cuts herself. Being emo as hell, she tells him that it’s the only pain that she could control. He says that it makes sense and she tells him that he’s the first person to say that. She goes on to say that people talk about him too and his reputation for stealing shit from the school. He pretty much admits that he does steal. Just as Jimmy is impaling Toby with a stick Radich walks in and is super pissed to see them goofing off. Ah, we finally see why Ellie was careful with her bag, she has a tape recorder there. Why she would want to record them is beyond me, they’re all so boring.

And we quickly get the answer to that in the next scene. Seems that she’s taping them for some stupid report for either the school paper or Caitlin’s TV station. So wow, Raditch has put each of them in separate rooms for the rest of the day. That’s pretty illegal to do, especially since he’s not even supervising them. Ellie comes into each room and talks everyone into breaking out and wandering around the school. So yeah, we get a lame montage of the five of them doing wacky stupid shit around the school. Eventually they find an elevator that leads to the roof.

Being a big puss Toby is telling them that he doesn’t think that it’s such a good idea. Hazel tells him, “Stop being a bitch and come on!” Hazel wonders out loud if they’re the only ones that have gone up there. Jimmy finds a necklace making it obvious that other people have been up there before. Being romantic he gives the dirty thing to Hazel because she loves it so much. Jimmy then decides to go for it and kisses her. Else where Sean tells Ellie that he thinks that she’s cute. Sean goes on to say that she doesn’t seem afraid of him. Ellie points out that Sean isn’t freaked out by all of her problems either. I guess this is her being romantic, she exposes her arm and shows Sean all of her hideous scars. Because he’s cool, Sean just holds her hand.

Alone because who would want to be with Toby, he sees Mr Raditch and Snake walking out, talking about all the bad behavior from the students lately. Snake tells him that they’re acting like the police. They should educate them yes, discipline them when it’s needed. But that life is too short and he shouldn’t be trying to control them. It seems like he took what Snake said to heart but then he see’s Toby up there because he’s a stupid fuck. Raditch makes a run for it, while the rest of the Degrassi kids do the same.

The rest of them make it to their respective class rooms but stupid Sean locked his own door for some reason. Jimmy tries to help but it’s too late. Sean just tells him to go just as Jimmy opens the door. But uh oh, as he’s running in he drops the keys that Raditch finds as soon as he goes into the hallway. Back in the cafeteria, Raditch is chewing them all out. Since no one is going to rat the person who did it, he decides to give them all Saturday’s for another three weeks. But he seem’s to have a change of heart and just says that he’s trying to do the right thing with them. At that Toby tells him that it was him who took the keys. He tells him that he appreciates his honesty and then tells the rest of them to go home and enjoy their weekends.

Jimmy tells him that he didn’t expect for Toby to be a man and he finally gives him that high five that he was waiting for in the previous episodes. Ellie says that they should take a group photo. As she’s taking out her camera, the tape recorder falls out and they all hear Sean and Ellie’s conversation. They all get disgusted at her and she explains that it was for the TV station. Toby’s all, “You were recording us?” But please, no one gives two fucks for Toby. Sean quickly figures out that it’s about all the thefts that has been happening around the school. Sean pissed off destroy’s her tiny tape with his boot and leaves fuming. Man, Ellie is going to cut the shit out of her arm now.

Seems like it’s Monday and Jimmy and Hazel are now a couple. As they pass by she says hi to Toby. JT noticing that someone cool actually talked to him asks what happened there that past Saturday. Ellie comes by Sean’s locker and says that she was wrong for what she did. But she really wants the connection that she had with him on the roof. She gives him another tape and says that there isn’t going to be a story. Sean having warmed up to her holds her hand and Ellie is happier than a pig in shit.

So yeah, this episode fucking sucked and it was a chore just to make a recap of it. It was such an unoriginal idea and they probably figured that any kid watching this has never seen or heard of The Breakfast Club before. I will admit that it was key in that two relationships blossomed from it and Toby is now being acknowledged as being a Human. But that wasn’t enough to save this shitastic episode. It was such bad TV and I hate the writers of this show for ripping off and ruining The Breakfast Club for life.

Season 3, Episode 15, “Accidents Will Happen Part 2”

So we continue with this emotional roller coaster Degrassi style.

Pre-Credit Opener: Craig and Manny seem to be a couple again because Manny is carrying Craig’s bastard offspring. Craig is either really giddy because he’s just that excited or he’s just that insane. It has more to do with insanity it seems like. He starts to go on about wanting a little girl and how Angela has always wanted a baby sister. Their joy is cut short because they run into Ellie who tells them to step off. Paige meanwhile is being nosy as hell and has noticed how they’re both acting now. Paige pretty much suspects that Manny is pregnant. In the MI class the first thing Ellie did was tell Ashley about Craig going out with Manny, but Paige being a shit starter tells her that she thinks that Craig got Manny pregnant. Ashley is so shocked by the notion that steam comes out of her ears.

In the 8th grader’s class JT is beyond happy that Liberty has been paired with Sean for a school project. Man, I forgot that Liberty was even a cast member. Talk about someone who doesn’t matter. She’s definitely the Female Toby. Anyways, the both of them are less than thrilled to be working together. Sean calls her a brown noser teacher’s pet while Liberty calls him a loser wigger.

In the cafeteria Craig is already showing symptoms of being a maniac. Manny tells him that she already finished her milk, but he insists that she has another for her health. Jesus, Craig is already looking up names in a baby book. Ashley comes along huffying and puffying asking them what they’re reading. Craig tries to hide the book but she just snatches it from his hands. Seeing the book pretty much confirms that Craig porked Manny and that she’s now carrying his seed. Out of spite Ashley get’s everyone’s attention and says, “Hey everybody! These two have an announcement to make.” They don’t say anything of course and she continues with, “These two idiots are pregnant.” Manny runs out of there crying while Craig just stares at Ashley. Ashley tells him, “I can’t believe you slept with her!” Hey, that’s what you get for not putting out. I’m not defending what Craig did because it was a real asshole move, I’m just saying it happens.

Manny is crying her little eyes out in a stall and she can over hear Paige and Terri talking. Terri also being a moron says that she’s almost jealous of Manny. Paige is so annoyed with her she asks if she had a brain tumor for breakfast. Paige starts to then go off on Manny saying that she’s ruining her life. You can tell that Manny is taking what Paige said to heart.

Oh lord Emma walks in and calls her out of the stall. She starts to say that she wishes that she would have talked to her. That’s when Manny points out that they weren’t really talking anymore because Emma is a self righteous asshole. Emma being decent asks her if she wants to come over after school. Manny mentions Craig because he’s being really needy and obsessive in this episode. Emma just says to bring his Arnold Horshack looking ass along.

Great, we go back to the B plot which already isn’t that great. JT comes along on his skateboard and annihilates himself in front of everyone. Liberty helps him up and invites him to a Three Stooges film festival. JT once again rejects her and says, “Oh hell naw!” Tired of how annoying she is, he tells her that he doesn’t want to go out with her. She retorts with, “Because of Manny?” She then mentions that he should move on. JT even more annoyed tells her that her three year old crush on him is played out and tells her to fuck off. Wow, the B plot suddenly got better. Finally she got the point.

At Emma’s house they’re having baby 101 it seems like. Craig is all fascinated with Emma’s baby brother while Emma shows Manny what her baby looks like at whatever month she’s at. Manny goes on to say that she can’t tell her mother because she’ll be get her ass kicked and then get murdered for having a child out of wedlock. Apparently Manny’s parents are the strict religious types. The baby starts to cry because he’s sick or something. Craig tries to act like taking care of him is no problem. Manny meanwhile you can tell is getting turned off by motherhood by the second.

Emma answers the door and it’s her new man Chris. What the hell, is there ever a time that Chris isn’t beat boxing or acting like an 80’s robot? Anyways, Emma can hear Manny and Craig struggling to get the baby to shut it’s yap so he can fall asleep. Things predictably aren’t going well. Finally Craig is seeing how difficult it is to actually take care of another Human being. Manny obviously wants to run to Planned Parenthood. You know, I barely noticed that Manny stopped dressing like a whore. I guess pregnancy will do that to you.

In the MI lab Sean is going on about the first time that Canada started getting cars from Japan. But Liberty isn’t listening because she can’t stop staring at JT and his Bobby Brady hair. Sean mentions the fact that his big breasted girlfriend Amy dumped him for some guy at a motocross. But Sean could care less. He tells Liberty, “Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks.” Talk about a true Canadian gangsta. He tells her to move on and to get over JT. Uh oh, she smiles at Sean and you can tell she now has a thing for him. Poor Sean.

Outside the school Craig comes along and asks Spinner if he’s seen Manny. You can tell that Craig is manic about the whole situation, being all jumpy. Spinner asks him if he can ask him a question then slaps the shit out of Craig’s forehead. Spinner starts to ask if he’s lost his fucking mind because he got a girl pregnant acting like he’s all happy. Spinner starts to go on about how his life will be over and he won’t be able to do shit because he’ll have to take care of a baby instead. Craig now angry tells Spinner that he doesn’t get it. Basically Craig is desperate to have a family because his own family are all fucking dead. Sounding like a tyrant he says, “Manny and the baby, they’re mine.” Yikes!

We cut to Spike’s house and Manny comes barging in asking Spike what it’s like to be a single mom. Spike tells her the truth that it’s a tough, stressful life. Especially raising a kid like Emma. Spike then starts to talk about all the love a kid can give you too. Manny doesn’t seem interested in that aspect though. Especially when Spike mentions that she didn’t get to go to college or on trips. Manny says that she wants to study fashion even though I’ve never noticed that that was a passion of hers. Spike being polite says that that sounds nice and that’s when Manny, full of desperation says, “But Craig wants to keep it.” Spike’s inner militant feminist side comes out and says, “And is Craig always going to be there?” She goes on to say that ultimately the decision is hers. Manny seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is delighted to hear that.

Holy shit!! Liberty comes along and says to Sean, “You like?” Sean his trying his best not to laugh because she’s dressed like one of the Pink Ladies. Apparently Liberty thinks that Sean is a 50’s greaser. Wigger Liberty, he’s a wigger!! Sean all angry asks JT, “What is going on?” JT all smug and full of cheer says, “You’re the rebound.” JT tells him that the only way that he’s going to get rid of her annoying dork ass is to be brutal and just say that he’s not even remotely interested in her.

In the next scene we go to Manny’s house and it’s obvious that she’s ready to tell her mom that she’s a slut that’s pregnant. But she has to be careful about it or else she’ll be decapitated or something. She tells her mom that she saw her doctor and is pregnant with child. Her mom of course loses her shit. Manny says, “Mom, I’m not a little girl anymore.” Yeah, clearly. She goes on to say that she wants to have an abortion and says that she’s sorry. All sorts of crying ensues.

In the cafeteria Liberty comes along to Sean’s table and proceeds to make an ass out of herself. She tells him that they should go to the ravine and that she can get a pack of smokes with her five finger discount. Jay starts to laugh his ass off because she is the wackest, lamest person at the school. She’s at Toby’s level now. Sean tells her to cut the shit out and that he will never ever be interested in her. She runs away broken hearted. Meanwhile, their silent black friend with the do rag seems to be interested in her.

Manny goes over to Emma’s house and tells her that her mom was much more reasonable than what she thought. She’s even taking her to the clinic for an abortion. Surprisingly Emma is against this and says, “You can’t” You would have thought that Emma being a feminist would be supportive, but no. They start to talk about live and death. Emma even mentions adoption, but Manny doesn’t want to go through all that.

Finally we come to the climax of this episode. In the hallway Manny tells Craig what she’s going to do and he has the mother of all meltdowns. Craig is clearly a psychopath and tells her no, and that he won’t let her. Emma tells him to watch his hands because he’s becoming all grabby. Craig tells her to get lost and to mind her own business. Emma tells him that she agrees with him but Manny is her friend and it’s her decision. Craig being all possessive says, “It’s my baby!” Emma goes on to say that it’s her body and her choice. Manny all full of tears says that she can’t have a baby and Craig just walks away without saying a word. Emma doing the same thing.

In the MI lab Liberty is feeling sorry for herself because no one likes her. Shit, I know I don’t. Sean tells her not to feel bad because he knows someone that does. What a surprise it’s the thug. He probably just wants her to do his homework for him. Having no standards, she’s beyond happy that anyone likes her.

At the clinic Manny is having a talk with someone there about the abortion. Manny asks the woman how she will feel afterwards. The lady says that everyone has a different reaction to the procedure. Manny relieved that she’s terminating the pregnancy says that she’ll be ok. You know I’m disappointed that Manny didn’t have to fight her way through a crowd of protesters with one holding a baby fetus doll out to her like they did to Erica in Degrassi High. Oh well.

So this was a pretty good two part episode. Craig was over the top crazy in this one. He couldn’t even take care of a wet dream, let alone a baby. Manny meanwhile learned the hard way that if she’s going to have sex, she better use a damn condom next time. It’s obvious that an episode like this will cause a huge debate, but I think it was wrong of The N to not air it. Up until I saw this DVD release, I had idea that Manny even had an abortion.

Season 3, Episode 14, “Accidents Will Happen Part 1”

So this episode is one that I’ve hardly seen because it didn’t air here in the United States. I guess the issue of abortion was just too hot to handle. The same thing happened with the original Degrassi High because it was the same subject matter. But we’re watching it now thanks to the magic of DVD. Up yours censorship!

Pre-Credit Opener: So we start off with Degrassi’s gymnastic’s team. Seriously? I had no idea that high schools even had that. I thought it was only for college and you know, people who compete world wide. But ok, Degrassi is branching off into Olympic sports. Kendra starts to complain that she doesn’t feel so good and Mrs Hotness says, “Oh noes, not you too Kendra.” But Kendra runs off in mid sentence to go yack in the girls restroom. Hopefully she doesn’t have the shits either. Manny splits her legs and what a surprise, she does it in front of Craig who is taking pictures for the year book. But she looks at him with hate in her eyes because he was caught being a cheating bastard.

In the hallway Ashley and Ellie are talking shit about Manny. As they pass by Ashley says, “Hey Ellie do you smell the stench of a nasty stripper?” Ellie responds with, “Yes, it definitely smells like skank in here.” Manny starts to say something along the lines of,” I didn’t want Craig ahoma homa.” Yup, she just trailed off into a mumble and didn’t even finish her sentence. Paige tries to cheer Manny up by saying that Manny is a great gymnast and everyone is talking about how good she is. But her smile quickly fades because her reputation as Degrassi’s biggest whore is seriously the talk of the school. We get the first hint of Manny’s future trouble when Paige mentions that she looks a little pale.

We move onto the B plot and it involves more of Toby’s despair of still being Degrassi’s resident nerd with the now cool friend. Jimmy comes along and asks JT if he still wants to go down to Buffalo for the concert of the year. Toby tries to act like he’s down with Jimmy but Jimmy tells him not to talk to him because he doesn’t talk to annoying fucking toads. Toby is so depressed when Jimmy just leaves him hanging. Toby says to JT that he doesn’t get it, that Jimmy used to be his friend. JT points out that it was before Ashley dumped his ass. But really, JT doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he’s just that unlikable.

In the MI lab, Manny sort of tries to apologize to Ashley for banging Craig, but Ashley doesn’t want to hear it. Once again, Manny can’t get out a complete sentence. Finally she says that she’s sorry, but Ashley responds with, “Sorry doesn’t make up for all the pain you caused.” But please, Ashley dwells with emotional pain. That’s why she’s so Emo Supremo. Ashley sort of feels better when Manny said that Craig lied to her too, telling her that she was the only one.

In Mrs Kwan’s room Manny looks like death and it’s obvious that she’s fighting not to throw up. She asks for permission to go to the restroom and that’s when Mrs Kwan decides to have a hissy fit and starts to complain about coming to school when she knew that she was sick. Seriously, what a bitch. Manny begs her and off she goes to throw up her breakfast.

In the cafeteria Jimmy is telling Hazel that he might not be able to go the concert after all because he’s failing a class. Toby being extra fucking white bread and lame tries to talk all hip hop to him. But this only annoys Jimmy like it annoys me. Toby tries to weasel his way to the concert only to have Jimmy say that there’s limited car space and besides, Toby doesn’t even like rap. Being desperate , he then tries to use his nerd skills to help Jimmy out with his grades, if he can change it, Jimmy says that he’s in.

Back in the hallway Emma reminds Manny that if she’s really sick, then she can’t compete. Manny all full of attitude tells her, “Who are you my mother?” I forgot that they both hate each other now. Manny for her whorish ways and Emma for being a self righteous little bitch. And to prove the point Emma tells her, “The coach should know.” Manny begs her not to tell due to the fact that her life sucks at the moment and gymnastics is the only thing keeping her sane.

During practice Mrs Hotness tells Manny to show everyone else how it’s done. Manny all full of pride get’s on the balance beam with a huge smile on her face. In the locker room Manny tells Emma that she’s sorry to hear that Snake is in the hospital. Emma says that he’s actually doing good, that the more intense chemo is good for him. You can tell that the both of them are slowly on the way to become friends again. They’re interrupted by Hazel though who wants a tampon from either one of them because she has an intense flow going on. Manny throws her one and says, “I haven’t used mine in forever.” Right away Emma’s mind starts to go crazy and quickly wonders if she’s pregnant. Manny being stupid just blows it off because she’s been training like crazy and get’s mad at Emma all over again for even suggesting that she’s with child.

Outside the school Manny is going into a panic and is going through her calendar, seeing the evidence that she hasn’t had a period in a while. Shit, it goes all the way back to the party when Craig first porked her.

It’s a new day and Manny is just standing there, staring at Craig while he’s sitting on a bench. In Paige’s office, the girls restroom, Manny goes in there for sage advice from her. She asks her, “How do I know, if a guy used a condom?” Paige responds with, “If he didn’t, you wouldn’t have to piss out his goo.” Manny pretty much tells Paige that she has no idea if Craig used a condom or not. But she’s leaning to no. Paige tells her not to worry because he seems like he’s sort of responsible. Paige tells her to ease her mind she should just ask him and next time she does the nasty with someone, she should make damn sure that he uses a condom.

In the library Toby is trying to hack into the school’s data base and he’s doing it using a hard line and doing it in plain view no less. Toby of course messes up and can’t change the grade because he got disconnected from the server.

It’s finally time for the big gymnastics meet and wow, this is the first time that we’ve seen Manny’s mom. I thought she just lived by herself this whole time. Manny is nervous as hell, but it’s not because she’s competing. Spike’s baby whimpering near by isn’t helping matters out either. Because she can’t take the pressure Manny right away falls off the balance beam and just fucked up the team’s score.

Craig follows her outside and asks her if she’s ok. Manny decides to go for it and asks him if he used a condom when they had sex. Craig clearly going into a panic says that Manny said it was ok and he assumed that meant that she was on the pill. Sort of crying she tells Craig that it was her first time and that doing the act alone was ok. About to lose his mind he asks her if everything is ok. She shakes her head and says, “No it’s not.” But for some reason she lies to him and says that nothing is wrong. He leaves and runs for the hills saying, “See you.”

Out in the hallway Jimmy asks him how the hacking went and that’s when Toby tells him that he fucked it up and accidentally gave Jimmy an impossible grade. Jimmy asks him if he’s going to fix it, but Toby starts to make excuses. Jimmy just man handles him and tells him to fix the mistake before he get’s into deep shit. Just as he’s getting started Mr Radich comes in and asks him for help because he can’t log into his user account. I love how he comes to Degrassi’s resident techno nerd. Anyways, he get’s caught because he’s a jackass. Jimmy meanwhile runs for his life right out of the room.

It’s after school and Manny decides to go for a run with her massive Discman. Remember those? She must have anti shock because those damn things would skip over any bump. Anyways, she has a very short run because she starts to throw up again.

She makes her way to Spike’s and she pretty much tells her that she thinks that she’s pregnant. Once again Spike is everyone’s go to person for that since she had Emma at such a young age too. Probably younger than Manny. Later on, Manny comes down and it’s obvious that she’s taken a pregnancy test. She starts to say that she’s stupid for even being in that situation. All Spike says is that she’s not and that she should learn from this mistake. God knows Spike is still paying because she had Emma. Yeah that’s right. I said it! Spike then asks her what she’s going to do if she is pregnant with Craig’s Screech looking child. Manny says that she can’t think about that and she goes on to tell Spike that she’s never going to tell her parents because they’ll literally murder her. The timer finally goes off and it’s the moment of truth. And if you haven’t figured it out already by the title alone, Manny’s pregnant!

In the next scene Jimmy walks into Mr Radich’s office and he’s told to join him and Toby. Right away Jimmy  much like Manny knows that he’s fucked and it’s obvious that Toby ratted him out. Raditch tells him that he’s going to call his parents and that they both got a Saturday. Mrs Kwan calls Raditch out and that’s when Toby starts to say that he freaked out and didn’t know what else to tell him. Any other kid would have come up with a great lie. I know I would have. But I forget that Toby is the lamest motherfucker in the planet and Jimmy just tells him how it is. He starts to go off on him and says that that Saturday is the rap concert and not only is Toby a fake rap fan, he’s also Canada’s stupidest most worthless computer hacker in that nation’s history.

Outside the school Craig tells Manny that he got her message. She starts to say that something bad happened and finally tells him that she’s pretty sure that she’s pregnant. Craig all shocked just sits down. Surprisingly he says that it’s ok. Much like Shane (Emma’s dad) in Degrassi Junior High, Craig has delusions of grandeur and thinks that he can actually take care of a baby. Clearly insane he tells Manny that they can be a little family. The episode ends with Manny thinking that Craig has lost his fucking mind.

This was a pretty good episode. Sure we’ve seen it before in Degrassi Junior High, but this is a good modern take on the subject matter. Toby of course just had to be in it, but I’m glad that Jimmy told him that he sucks because he does! We’ll continue this story line with the shocking conclusion in part 2

Season 3, Episode 13, ” This Charming Man”

In this episode Sean continues his downward spiral with Canada’s lamest gangstas. While the upper class men dive into the wonderful world of Drivers ED.

Pre credit opener: We begin the episode in Mr Armstrong’s math class. Chris comes along and asks Emma, “So English, did you read the chapta?” I ain’t bullshitting either, that’s how he said it. Emma all smitten with him says, “Sure.” then smiles at him like she has a little girl crush. Class begins and Emma get’s called up to the chalk board to answer a problem. She’s interrupted by Sean and his new big breasted girlfriend Amy making out in class. Emma doesn’t like this one bit and just glares at him with hatred in her eyes. Chris meanwhile is wondering why she even cares about an asshole like Sean for.

At Emma’s house, Spike proudly shows Emma Snake’s birthday gift which is a new used laptop. Fucking Spike is too cheap to get him a brand new one I guess, but then again, he did lose the other one thanks to Sean. So Snake seems to be out of luck. Emma offers to back up his data and she get’s instantly sad when she see’s a picture of her and Sean. It doesn’t last long though because she deletes it out of spite. Spike has taught her daughter well.

Back at Degrassi, JT and Toby are talking about Sean practically fingering Amy in math class. Emma tries to act like it doesn’t bother her, but clearly it does. They then start to talk about the rumors that Sean’s lame gang are stealing all sorts of shit from the school like the construction paper and all the Now and Later’s they could get their hands on. JT pretty much suggests that maybe it was Sean who stole Snake’s laptop, but Emma for some weird reason doesn’t think that he’s scumbag enough to do that to a sick man like Snake. But oh, yes he is.

The B plot involves Spinner, Paige, Jimmy and Hazel taking Drivers E.D. Paige tries to play with Spinner but he’s a nervous wreak because he wants to ride like the wind when he get’s his license. Big surprise he’s studying and can’t retain the knowledge. Plus he’s also blaming a Mrs Gonzalez for being a hard ass teacher.

In the MI lab I’m assuming, Ashley and Emma want to use the DVD player for their environmental club, but big surprise, there’s a DVD player missing. Right away Emma suspects that it’s Sean and his crew of flunkies. So being Emma, she spots them outside and starts asking them if they know anything about it. Sean denies it and then has the nerve to act like he’s all hurt by the accusation. Oh lord, Chris comes along fucking beat boxing again, Emma clearly isn’t in the mood for his stupid bullshit. Emma starts to say that she’s trying to remember what it was about Sean that she liked. Chris again barely being understandable says something along the lines of, “Don’t bother, Slim Shady isn’t worth remembering.” He then asks her out on a hot date for some milk shakes, which quickly makes Emma’s day.  Chris meanwhile is so happy he starts to rap and pop and locks his way out of school with some Degrassi style hip hop music playing in the background.

Outside the older kids are waiting for their teacher and Spinner is delighted to see that it’s actually someone else. Some dude comes out of the car and Paige is instantly smitten with him. He calls himself Mr Falcone, but I always just call him Mr Falcon. Paige is now all hot and bothered and acts all nervous around Mr Wonderful.

At the Dot Emma and Chris are having their date but she’s quickly distracted by Sean and his friends walking in. Chris is trying to sound like he’s interested in Emma boring crap but he’s going nowhere because she’s so fixated on Sean. All of a sudden she spots Jay stealing candy from the joint. What is it with these motherfuckers and candy? Anyways, Emma has had enough and decides to rat them out to the owner.

As they’re waking home Emma decides to go for it and asks Chris if he wants to go to Snake’s birthday party. He says sure and offers to rap for all the guests. Emma’s joy is short lived because Sean and his “gang” arrive and Jay get’s into her face. He tells Emma that they’re now banned for life from the Dot. Chris then get’s into his face and tells him to go eat somewhere else. Sean knowing that Jay would probably get his ass kicked tells him to just go. But Jay says that since they want to ruin their fun, he’ll start ruining their’s as well. Emma all smart alecky says, “And what is fun for you Jay? Stealing the school DVD player?” Because Jay is a dickhead, he pretty much admits that they stole Snake’s laptop. Sean makes it worse by making a face at him, pretty much cementing his guilt.

Later on at night Snake is working on his piece of shit computer because he can’t sleep. He’s getting super frustrated because it keeps freezing on him. Hey, we’ve all been there right? Snake says that if he hadn’t lost his other one, he wouldn’t be using Spike’s cheap one. That’s when Emma says, “You didn’t lose it.” Snake asks her what’s that supposed to mean, but she annoyingly says, “Nothing.” I hate it when people do that.

Emma spots Chris at his locker and he says that he has the best present for Snake’s party. Turns out that he wants to give him his mix CD. But he can’t really tell Emma because she’s now obsessed with ruining Sean’s life. You can tell that he’s getting sick and tired of her.

At the drivers ed class, Spinner and Jimmy are making fun of Paige because she’s doing horribly in the class. Hazel meanwhile has quickly figured out that Paige is sucking badly in class because she wants to do Mr Falcon.

In the hallway Emma see’s another picture of her and Sean and she destroy’s it because she’s hella petty. She then see’s Sean and I gotta say, he is acting suspicious as hell. Looking all over the place holding a box close to his chest. Emma decides to play detective and starts to follow him around. But that’s the thing, she’s horrible at it and Sean confronts her and shows her that the box just has a bunch of jumpsuits for autoshop. He then starts to talk straight with her and pretty much tells her what’s what. He tells her that he’s sorry that he hurt her and that their breakup sucked. He then goes on to say that what he does with Jay and his new hoe Amy are none of her business. Which is true. Emma of course get’s pissed off even more because she doesn’t like being talked to that way.

Out in some park Spinner and Jimmy are still making fun of Paige, but that’s when stupid Hazel says that the only reason she’s doing bad is because of Mr Falcon and that Paige likes him. Spinner being a moron doesn’t get it right away, but he becomes infuriated and leaves huffing and puffing when he figures out that Paige want’s Mr Falcon’s D.

In the MI lap JT is playing NBA Jams on the computer and that’s when Chris comes along and says that Sean really fucked her up good. See, I told you he’s getting tired of her shit. JT doesn’t help matters by pretty much implying that he’s just her rebound. Chris now has the idea in his head and that’s when Emma comes around for her next scheme at getting back at Sean. She basically wants him to help her narc on Jay and Sean to Mr Raditch. Chris is all, “You’ll let this go?”Emma lies and says yes.

In Radich’s office Chris is actually being honest when they get asked if they saw Jay stealing all the shit that they’re accusing him of. He starts to say no, but he’s cut off by Emma. With no shame or remorse, she starts to say that she and Chris saw Jay and Sean loading some equipment into Jay’s car. Chris is so disgusted by her that he makes a face that makes him look like he smelled a really rancid fart. Radich of course has no choice but to call the police.

Back to the B plot, Spinner is acting all aggressive towards Mr Falcon, being super disrespectful and talking shit. Paige tells him to calm down, but Mr Falcon tells her to stop distracting him because he has to improve. Spinner meanwhile is so caught up with hating him that he crashes the car. He probably did it on purpose because he wanted to kill him. The stunt man with the Zack Morris hair looks hilarious in this screen shot.

Outside the school Jay’s car is being searched by the Mounties. Jay being a smartass is telling them that they won’t find a thing because he’s innocent. Emma comes along and Sean starts to go off on her, not believing that she’s that fucking petty. But this is Spike’s daughter we’re talking about. Of course she’s petty as hell. Mr Raditch interrupts him and asks if there’s anything he wants to say. Sean blurts out, “Yeah! Eat a bowl of dicks!” Radich then gives him Saturday’s for the next two months. He then adds, “Don’t mess with the bull young man, you’ll get the horns.” Sean meanwhile spits in front of Emma’s feet and leaves fuming.

In the hallway Emma finds Chris and she’s all giddy about getting Sean in trouble. Chris asks her, “What about Simpson’s computer?” That’s when Emma shows her true colors and says, “What about it?” Chris has finally had it when she says, “Sean is finally going to pay for what he did to me.” He goes on to say that she’s not over him yet and that he’s just wasting his time. Which is so damn true. He does the Electric Slide and leaves all pissed off.

It’s finally Snake’s big birthday bash and Spikes brings him a desk top cake. I guess Snake is now known as being a techno nerd douche bag instead of the life ruining idiot he was back in School’s Out. Snake tells Emma that he heard that Chris is going to make an appearance but she says that he’s not coming due to him hating her guts. Snake just tells her that if he’s a good person, he’ll forgive her.

At the Dot Paige comes by and Spinner tells her to leave him alone because he’s working so that he can pay for all the repairs that he did to the student car. Paige tells him that she loves him and blah, blah, blah. Spinner tells her that he switched them back to the mysterious Mrs Gonzalez. I had no idea students had the option to switch back in forth between teachers. But hey, this is Degrassi. Paige says, “It’s ok, I will miss those dimples, chiseled jaw and that huge bulge of his.” Spinner get’s steamed but that’s when she laughs and says that she’s just kidding.

In the last scene Emma spots Chris at the mall and she tells him that she loves track 3 to whatever rap album he’s listening to. But Emma is full of shit. You can tell that she listens to The Dave Matthew’s Band and Nickelback. She starts to then kiss his ass and asks him for another chance. She promises that she’ll never talk about Sean again and that she did what she did because he broke her heart. Chris mumbles, “Does it feel any betta?” She says that it might if he would come over for some birthday cake.

So this episode pretty much sucked. I didn’t care for the B plot at all and Emma was just annoying as hell through out. I can totally see why people hate Emma so much for. But no worries Degrassi fiends. The next episode is better because we continue with Manny and Craig’s relationship. See I told you Manny became a much more interesting character once she stopped hanging out with Emma.