Season 4, Episode 20, “West End Girls”

So finally after over a year I think, we’re finally going to finish season four. This was a jammed packed season with a lot happening. Sean left, Rick died, Jimmy became a cripple and Spinner got expelled for being an asshole. Well, let’s finish this turkey.

Pre-Credit Opener: The girls are in cheer practice and right away we can tell that Manny resents the hell out of Paige for barking orders. Mrs Hatzalokos says that their new routine is the tits and that’s when Darcy says that it’s all thanks to Manny’s choreography. Paige not liking that Manny is getting the spot light says that as captain of the squad, (Manny makes a sour face as she says this) that she’s proud of them for their hard work. Manny can’t help but say that Paige is pretty useless and hasn’t done a thing the whole time. Of course Paige isn’t going to just let that slide. She asks if Manny has anything to say and surprisingly Manny says no and it’s all her.

Oh lord Toby is in the next scene. He’s hardly been on this season and it’s been a blessing. But he has to ruin it by saying that if Manny was his prom date he wouldn’t let Paige get away with shit. Manny makes a face and tries to ignore what he just said and starts to go off on Paige again. But Toby won’t be stopped. He tells her, “Did you hear the part where I asked you to the prom?” Manny’s all, “Yeah, that’s a hard no for me dweeb.” Lucky for her Marco comes to the rescue and says that Manny is going with him because he’s the newly single leader of the dance committee. This whole scene just proved what a born loser Toby is. He just lost the school skank to Degrassi’s top gay. Can’t get any lower than that. Anyways, Manny get’s annoyed when Marco says that the rest of the gang is coming, including Paige with Matt. As a known pedophile you would think that Matt would be barred from going.

In line for their year books Manny wants Hazel to play peacemaker between her and Paige. She mentions that she should join them when they go shopping because Paige is a weirdo and she becomes emotional when they do that.

We then cut to Caitlin’s station where she’s interviewing motherfucking Silent Bob himself Kevin Smith. Apparently he’s in town to shoot a new movie there called Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian Eh. Craig is there for some reason and he becomes excited, almost psychotic when Kevin mentions that a few locations they were going to use fell through, including a school. Gee I wonder if Degrassi’s going to be mentioned? Right away Craig ambushes him and is completely star struck. Caitlin mentions that Craig is going to her old school. She’s all, “It’s called Degrassi. Maybe you’ve heard of it?” But why would he, unless he saw the school name in a headline when Rick shot Jimmy then himself. Craig mentions that he should come check out the school because he and Ashley will be playing the prom. As the bullshit meter rises, Kevin mentions that he’s just looking to find a musician for his new movie and gives Craig the number to his music supervisor. Poor Kevin, he has no idea that Craig and Ashley only make shitty emo music.

In the next scene Paige is trying to fit into a dress that’s too small for her, but she insist’s that it fits. As she steps out of the dressing room she’s beyond pissed that Manny is wearing the same thing and it looks way better on her. Manny tries to apologize, but Paige all aggressive and tells her to get out of the dress and out of her face.

In Joey’s garage Craig is all excited barely listening to Ashley. He wants to write a new shitty song right away. She mentions that she got herself a Summer job and it’s with the BBC in England. Craig tells her to forget about it and says that they’ll be working on Kevin Smith’s new movie. Isn’t he jumping the gun here though? I don’t think they’ve been hired just yet.

At the food court Paige is upset because Matt has gotten a job for the Summer up in the Yukon because he’s a broke dick loser. Paige tells Marco that Matt is leaving before the prom and he won’t be back for months. The scene just abruptly cuts and we’re in the gym where Marco is telling Manny that he can’t go to the prom with her because he has to go with Paige because she’s upset. Manny now pissed is hearing that Paige is changing the choreography because she can’t do the moves. Manny offers to show her, but Paige counters by saying that she’ll do the jumping part that Manny did and regulates Manny to being the mascot. Hazel mentions that they’ve never caught Paige before. But she’s being a cunt and threatens them by saying they’ll be off the squad if they don’t do her bidding.

Out in the hallway Darcy mentions that she wishes that they could get rid of Paige and you can tell that Manny has an evil plan brewing. Seems that there’s an assembly going on and Kevin is there with Caitlin filming things with his camcorder. We’re starting to see that he has a thing for her and is starting to flirt a little. The spirit squad starts to do their thing and Hazel and the black chick, I still don’t remember her name throw Paige up into the air and fail to catch her. Paige lands horribly on her ankle while Darcy and the black chick laugh their fucking asses off, making it obvious that they did it on purpose.

We cut to Craig and Ashley with the music supervisor and going by the look on his face, it’s clear that he thinks that Craig and Ashley suck ass too. They say that they can change everything to how he wants it. But he goes off on them and pretty much tells them that they’re horrible and kicks them out of his office. It’s about time that someone told them the truth.

Back at the boutique Emma and Manny are now looking for dresses and Manny is bummed because the selection sucks. She still wants the dress that Paige picked up, so in the spirit of fuck it. She decides to get the dress because the hell with Paige.

It’s finally time for the prom and what a surprise Liberty and JT are in charge of taking tickets and the ballot box for King and Queen. Just then Darcy comes by and she’s feeling extremely rotten because Paige broke her ankle thanks to them. Manny being heartless tells her to chill out and who cares because Paige is a twat. To shut her up, Manny votes Paige for queen.

Turns out that Paige is still going to the prom on crutches. She seems to be high on her pain meds and is being super annoying because she’s complaining about how shitty her life is at the moment. Funny how Jimmy and Hazel are done with her complaining and tell her to stop crying over fucking spilled milk. Jimmy’s all, “I’m in a wheelchair and my dick doesn’t work. Stop complaining.” Hazel then goes off on her saying that she’s ruining Jimmy’s night and lets her know that Manny was doing great with the spirit squad while Paige was too busy fucking around with Matt. A little thank you would have been great. Paige all childish says that Manny was being horrible to her. That’s when Hazel says that Paige is the type of person that just has to be even worse to the person to get even. Finally that shut her up. Glad Hazel told her what’s what.

Poor Manny she ended up being stuck with that dud Toby after all. You can tell that he’s in heaven right now. Pressing his little pecker against her body. Manny wants to go get a drink to get away from him, but he won’t let go like a creep. Suddenly Manny grabs Emma and trusts her against Toby. Him being hard up doesn’t care who he’s pressed up against as long as it’s a warm hot body. Kevin and Caitlin show up and she’s still trying to get him to shoot his movie there at the school.

Paige is voting for the king and queen and that’s where Manny spots her and says that she’s like the damn Terminator. Nothing can keep her down. Paige in a rage asks her what she’s wearing. But then quickly collects herself and wishes her luck. Oh lord we get some shots of Craig and Ashley playing the prom and they’re just horrible. It was probably Marco who hired them to play. The rest of the school should be booing telling them to get off the stage. But no, they’re faking like they like it. Including Kevin Smith. Meanwhile Paige is backstage changing the votes so that Manny can win. Just like in Carrie.

Ashley and Craig step out for a bit and he’s on cloud nine because Kevin seemed to have liked their shitty song. Ashley also happy gives him a kiss and says that she’s going to miss him. Craig doesn’t understand and that’s when she says that she’s still going to take the job with the BBC. Immediately Craig is bummed. I’m just wondering how Ashley got that gig. I know I sound like I’m beating a dead horse, but she sucks as a musician. But that’s what the Degrassi writers want us to believe.

It’s now time for king and queen and of course Manny wins by a landslide thanks to Paige. Manny is beyond happy because she was having a horrible night being stuck with Toby. Her joy is short lived because Paige trips and falls, ripping Manny’s dress off, showing her body to the student body. Ha, see what I did there? But it’s not like everyone there hasn’t seen it already. Half of her outfits she was pretty much nude. She then falls off the stage, but Kevin catches her. As she’s crying Kevin tells Caitlin that they’ll definitely be shooting there.

Outside the gym Craig is still sitting there depressed and that’s when Kevin spots him. They have a heart to heart about relationships and the fact that the music guy hated them. Kevin mentions that he’s had a lot of girl trouble and hardly get’s the girl. He tells Craig to try and get over Ashley by going home and working on a new God awful song for his movie.

In the girls restroom Manny is busy changing because she was just humiliated by Paige in front of the entire school. Paige walks in feeling bad now and tries to apologize. They both start to go off on each other telling each other’s transgressions. Paige then mentions the fact that Manny got Matt fired and she hates her for it. Suddenly they both calm down and it seems that just like that, their beef is over because it’s now Summer. Oh lord, teenage girls, I’m telling you.

So this was an ok episode. I hate that Paige and Manny’s season long feud ended like nothing happened. I guess the writers were just saying fuck it, the season’s over so let’s just end this bullshit. Craig and Ashley are no more, again. And once again I could give two fucks about their relationship. But there it was peeps, the season four finale. I would say this season started out strong, but half way started to suck thanks to Paige’s relationship problems. Let’s see what season five brings because I have no memory of it. So it’ll be new to me again.

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Season 4, Episode 19, “Moonlight Desires”

In this episode we deal with more of Marco’s relationship troubles. Great, wonderful, grand!

Pre-credit Opener: We open with Marco ordering everyone around like a mother hen. Apparently Caitlin’s public access TV show is coming to Degrassi so Marco wants everything perfect. Alex comes by and tells him that there is no way in hell that she’s wearing the mascot’s costume. Marco starts to go on about how awesome Degrassi is, despite all the school shootings that have happened there. Ellie who seems to be wearing something that Pinhead would be sporting says that Marco should run for president next year. That’s when Marco tells them that he’s thinking of taking extra classes so that he can graduate early and then go to college where he can be clingy with Dylan. Needless to say, the gang doesn’t like this shit, not one bit.

The next day Dylan is dropping off Marco where they’re making plans to meet at a party later on in the evening. Inside the school Caitlin is talking to Mrs Hatzalokos about Rick being killed and Sean being shot. Shit, did that happen this season? It seems so long ago already. But Mrs hotass is patting herself on the back hard for turning things around that she’s in danger of hurting herself. But I don’t see that she did much of anything besides kicking Spinner and Jay out.

Speaking of those two, Jay is being annoying with Spinner while he’s working at the Dot. Spinner seems to be sick of his life. Especially because some old bags are giving him a hard time about the menu. Boy, what a pointless scene, hopefully it’s leading up to something.

Back at Degrassi Marco is supposed to be donating blood for Caitlin’s show but a worker comes by and tells Marco that he can’t donate due to his homosexuality. Which is pretty fucked up, plus she fucked up by saying that to him in Degrassi. We all know that they don’t stand for that shit. Especially when it’s something against the gays.

At Mrs Hatzalokos office Spinner walks in being a major kiss ass, bringing her flowers. But she’s still angry with him and tells him that he shouldn’t be there because he’s been expelled. Spinner being extremely stupid goes on to say that he’s been keeping up with his homework and exams with his text books so he can graduate in time. She coldly tells him that he should have returned the books. Seems that Spinner doesn’t know what expelled means and him taking exams don’t count for shit. Making a concession, she tells him that she’s willing to let him go to Summer school. He starts to complain that it’s not enough for him to graduate and that it’s not fair. Pissed off now, she throw’s in his face that Rick died and that he’s a life ruining idiot. Spinner should have told her that Rick was an asshole and fuck him. But he continues with how he needs to finish his year and she tells him no. In a gangsta move, he throws the flowers into the trash. Take that!

In the next scene Marco is riling up all the Degrassi regulars with the discrimination that’s happening to him. He goes on to tell Alex that he’s the power bottom in his relationship and that he’s only been with Dylan. Alex tells him to stop being a little bitch and to complain to Caitlin. Which is probably the best thing for him to do because Caitlin is the ultimate shit starter. Especially when she doesn’t have all the facts. She’ll find a way to protest something anyways. With the cameras in the nurses face, Marco asks her why they can’t draw his blood. She simply tells him that it’s policy and they can’t risk giving gay to other people. Nah she didn’t say that part, just that it’s policy and that she’s not a spokesperson. Marco makes an even bigger deal about it and that’s when the nurse tells him that in the gay community there’s a big risk of people having HIV. Marco get’s pissed and says that they’re just lumping them all together. Mrs H comes and ends it by telling him to cool his nuts off.

Outside Degrassi Jay is complaining to Spinner that it’s his fault that he’s so bored. Lazy asshole should go out and get a job. Especially since he has nothing better to do. Spinner being rebellious tells him that they should steal from Degrassi. Oh Spinner, you never learn.

At Dylan’s dorm, Marco comes storming in, fuming from being discriminated against. He’s shocked to see that Dylan is making out with some black dude. Well, so much for their relationship. Dylan comes out and tells Marco that they’re just friends. Which is a thing that a cheating girlfriend would say. Marco tells him that they should break up, but it seems that Dylan still wants to be with him, but he also wants to have his chance to experience sex with some Alabama black snake. Marco is a goddamn fool if he agrees to it.

With the girls Marco is complaining about what just happened. Saying that it was humiliating. Especially after what the nurse told him about HIV being higher with the gays. Alex annoyed tells Marco that people being nasty motherfuckers who cheat is a guy thing. Craig being insulted says that Amy was banging every guy there too. That’s when Ellie shuts him up by bringing up that fact that he got Manny pregnant with his deranged love child. Craig not even mad says that they should just say that it’s a people thing. Marco lamely says that he wants his boyfriend back and that’s when Craig comes up with an idea to get Dylan back at the party later on that night.

In the next scene we come upon Spinner and Dylan sneaking into the school. At the party Dylan tells Marco that he’s happy that he came and Craig leaves them alone. You can tell that Marco is conflicted. We cut back to the school where Spinner and Jay are up to some lame antics like throwing toilet paper all over the gym and shooting some hoops. Spinner then piles a bunch of chairs against the main doorway. They’re such rebels.

Back at the party Marco is all excited to see his piece about the blood drive so he puts on the local public access channel to watch. He’s quickly disappointed to see that Caitlin cut out his hissy fit. Man, that brother is extremely gay and he calls Dylan to do some shots with him. Marco being stupid tells him that it’s ok. Marco now hurt wants to make him jealous. Oh the drama with this dude.

At Degrassi Spinner and Jay are going through the year book and Spinner is seriously missing his friends when he see’s his picture amongst the rest of the gang. You would have thought that they wouldn’t have put him in there because of what he did.

We go back to the party and he strikes up a conversation with a Mike. Mike not aware of the bullshit between Marco and Dylan get’s all happy when Marco tells him that he’d like to see his room. Man, Marco’s gaydar sure has improved. Meanwhile, Dylan seems like he doesn’t give a shit.

It seems like Spinner hasn’t learned a fucking thing and wants to set all the yearbooks on fire. Jay for once showing more sense stops him and mentions that they’ll end up in jail for arson. This then starts a fight and with Jay asking Spinner if he wants his friends to suffer more. Spinner then blurts out that he wants them back. Jay says that that’s not the way to do it. Jay’s being very mature in this episode, case in point, he tells him that they need to clean the mess that they made. This is what you call character development folks.

In a stair well Craig is trying to give Marco a pep talk by saying how great he is. Marco tells him that he should say that he’s an idiot. Craig of course obliges. Marco goes on to say that he can’t go downstairs and he can’t go to Dylan. That’s when Dylan walks in and Marco gives Craig a smooch. I don’t know if Craig is surprised or if he’s going to murder him. Can’t tell with Craig. Anyways, Dylan leaves in a huff and Craig clearly disgusted yells at Marco. You can tell that Craig is going to use a lot of mouth wash when he get’s home.

Finally these two have a serious talk and Marco tells him that he loves him but things are pretty fucked up between the two of them. Marco admits that he doesn’t want him to see other people and Dylan can’t help making an oh God face. Marco goes on to say that he doesn’t like it and Dylan tries to tell him how to feel by saying that he shouldn’t be bothered because he still loves him and therefore it makes him blameless. Dylan goes on to say that he wants to fuck around and his freedom is too important for him. Marco having some dignity breaks up with him.

Spinner returns to see Mrs H and she’s still giving him the cold shoulder. He pretty much tries to make all sorts of deals to come back to Degrassi next fall. He tells her that he wants to finish school and get his friends back. Being all stern she gives him some forms and that Summer school is going to be his second chance and not to fuck up again. She also mentions that he needs to not have such a goofy haircut next year.

The episode ends with Marco meeting Caitlin at her station. He’s still wondering why his segment didn’t air. Lord he can’t let things go. Caitlin tells him that some people there didn’t want it to air. Crusader Caitlin then comes out and says that she’s pissed about it too and that it’s not fair that Homosexuals are still being seen as having a higher risk of Aids. That’s when she tells him that he can go around to either Africa or the Caribbean to educate people about HIV. Marco now happier than a pig in shit tells her that he has nothing to do that Summer and he’d love to do it.

So this was an alright episode. Kind of cliche with the boyfriend in college wanting to see other people angle. It’s not like we’ve seen that happen before. But at least Marco had the common sense to dump his ass. And it’s obvious that they’re setting up Spinner making his triumphant return to Degrassi in the Fall. We only have one more episode to go to finish this season and it’s a doozy. Silent Bob himself Kevin Smith and Jay are guest starring in it. Pretty random I know.

Season 4, Episode 18, “Modern Love”

Hey there Degrassi fans. I’m sure some of you regular readers have noticed that I’ve been really irregular with posting more reviews. The honest truth is that I lose interest, get interested again after a few months and then quickly lose interest again. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that a lot of episodes in this season have sucked ass. But I’m trying to motivate myself into posting more reviews in May, as in, may I please fucking complete this season already? I may fail in this goal because reading the episode description I can tell that this episode is going to also suck and I’ve been writing this review for a few days already. But you know what? We didn’t come this far to just take a shit and then eat it, we’re finishing this bitch.

Pre-Credit Opener: Paige and her pedo boyfriend are out having a romantic picnic and she’s going on about how a good student teacher he is. He’s going on about how scared he is of his class because the next day he’s going to be graded on how well they respond to him. She tells him not to worry about Marco and Heather St Claire because he’s nothing but a little bitch and so is she. They start to make fun of this dad who has no hair on his legs and holy shit, turns out that it’s Snake taking his baby out for a stroll. Paige puts on her shades and her stupid pink cowboy hat to disguise herself. But I think it only brings more attention towards them. She thinks the coast is clear, but it kind of seems like Snake spotted them anyways. Fingers crossed that this is the end of their relationship in this episode, because this stupid bullshit has gotten old fast.

In the next scene Paige isn’t there to lead the cheer squad again, so Manny takes it upon herself to take over. Hazel can’t help telling her that she doesn’t like that at all. Manny with a huge nasty zit on her forehead tells Hazel that Paige doesn’t give a mother fuck because she’s too busy with Matt. Hazel blows it off as it being just a student teacher thing, and that’s when stupid Manny let’s on that Paige and him are linked romantically. Going by her facial expression, Hazel is hurt on not finding out this information from Paige directly.

In the MI lab Mr Wonderful is teaching Emma’s class and they’re having a discussion about Cigarettes that are being geared towards woman. Matt tries to engage even more with Emma and asks her where she thinks the woman in the ad is going. Chris mumbles that she’s probably going to the ravine. Pow! If you remember Emma was sucking Jay’s dick a couple of episodes ago and got and STD I think. Matt tells him to shut his mouth and Snake looks at Chris like he’s going to do something. But Snake is a giant pussy as we all know and isn’t going to do a goddamn thing about it. Emma then starts to name all the stuff the chick will get if she continues smoking. Mumble mouth then says, “Gonorrhea.” Matt now angry tells him that he’ll see him after class. I think Chris is just jealous because she never got on his Alabama black snake.

Apparently now it’s Paige’s class being taught by her boyfriend. Hazel is trying to get her attention, but Paige being in love wants her to shut up so she can listen to him. Hazel won’t be stopped though, she asks Paige if Manny is her new bestfriend. Paige doesn’t know what she’s talking about and that’s when Hazel throws Manny under the bus and lets her know that she told her about their relationship. This of course only get’s her in trouble again and Matt asks her if she has a problem. Hazel being full of sass tells him that she thought that he only had eyes for Paige. Everyone starts whispering and Matt is at a loss for words. So much so that he can’t teach anymore. Which only shows how guilty he is.

Outside the school Manny asks Emma what’s wrong and Emma is so angry she’s trying to kill that mumbling fuck with her mind. Manny and the other girls tell her not to let guys get to her. That’s when Chester comes along and acts all obnoxious with them. After he picks at her food, Darcy thinks that he’s the cat’s meow. To cheer Emma up, Manny proposes that they have a girls only spa weekend. By the way, there’s a new black chick there and I can’t think of her name, but she’ll be joining the cast in later seasons.

In the back of the school Matt is all frazzled now that Hazel fucked with him that way. Paige promises that it’ll never happen again. But Matt is clearly freaking out and says, “I don’t want to be booted out of teacher’s college!” I can’t help but think, it’s not just college? There’s a teacher’s college in Canada? Anyways, Paige vows that that won’t happen, but we all know that Matt is going to be boned by his relationship with her.

In the hallway Manny tells Paige to have a good weekend. But Paige is severely annoyed at Manny, simply ignores her. Pissing Manny off now. Paige now angry asks why she opened her big mouth with Hazel. Manny says that she thought that she knew already. They have more angry words, with Paige calls her a boy crazy whore and that’s when Manny kicks her right in the kiester. Paige then slaps the shit out of her and we have a full blown cat fight on our hands. Mrs Hatzilakos and Matt come and break it up with Matt telling Manny to calm the fuck down. That’s when Manny decides to be a life ruining bitch and calls him a pedophile and tells everyone about their relationship. Right away Mrs Hotass takes Paige and Matt into her office.

Outside her office Paige is telling Marco that everyone is going to hate her if she ends up being the reason that he get’s fired. I love how she’s only thinking about what people are going to think of her. I mean, fuck his career or his life. Marco once again being a girl tells her that it wasn’t her fault, because she was in love. But please, this was just puppy love right here and he took advantage of her because he wanted some teenage poon.

Matt walks out of the office and Mrs Hotass calls her in. Paige immediately starts to go off on Manny, calling her a lying cunt. Mrs Hotass asks her if they have a relationship going on and Paige of course denies it. Only a fool would admit that. She then says that she wants to have Snake, Matt’s teacher adviser and her parents at a meeting to discuss this situation. Ha. This finally has gotten better. Paige get’s her heartbroken because Matt told Mrs Hatzilakos that Paige is a fucking psychopath who’s obsessed with him and has been a stalker for months. I gotta say, it’s kind of true.

It’s time for Emma’s relaxing spa weekend at home and the girls are outside with shit on their faces. Emma for the time being is being a huge man hater and is appreciating the time she’s having with the girls. It’s short lived because apparently Chester is Emma’s neighbor and Darcy and the black chick who just showed up are excited and embarrassed that he’s there because they like him for some reason.

Back at the rat’s nest that’s Matt’s apartment, Paige comes up banging on the door like she’s the damn police. She barges in and want’s to know why he fucked her over. He tells her that he can’t get caught because his life will be over. He wants them to wait until Summer where he’ll be free to ravage her sexually whenever he wants. But Paige has the fury of a woman scorned and doesn’t want to hear this shit. Especially since she’s the one coming off as an unstable stalker. After some more back and forth between these two he simply says, “My entire future is on the line.” Meaning, go along with it you stupid little bitch.

You know, every episode has to have a stupid, boring, or unfunny story line going on and this with Emma and her friends is it. You guys pick which category it falls under. The girls are all outside in the world’s smallest front yard tie dyeing shirts. Why they couldn’t be in their backyard is beyond me. Manny of course seems to be just wearing a man’s shirt and nothing else. That’s when Chester and his other goofy looking brother’s come out of their house and start to play catch. Manny and the girls are pretty moist by spotting this trio and Manny instantly transforms herself into super skank. It’s fucking incredible how this happened. Turns out that Chester’s brother’s are as big as dickheads as he is and one of them throws the football at Emma and all this dye splashes all over her. This starts a massively lame feud between them.

At the movie theater Alex is telling Paige what a piece of shit Matt is for fucking her over. But Paige is still being pathetic and let’s Alex know that she misses him already. Dylan comes by fuming, demanding to know where Matt is so he can fuck him up. Marco meanwhile looks like he’s all scared by his machismo. Paige being an idiot is still defending him to Dylan and just makes herself look really dumb. But hey, what do you expect from a teenage girl? She doesn’t know any better.

Emma and the girls are still feuding with Chester and they do a stupid prank with a Christmas tree and femine products for ornaments. Before she can put the star on she get’s caught by the police. Thank God that shit is over with, seriously it wasn’t funny and it was clearly just to take up room in this episode.

Paige once again shows her stupidity by telling Matt that she’s willing to go along with his story and pretty much blames herself for losing her temper with Manny. She goes on to say not to worry because there’s no strings attached and she just leaves. Matt’s probably dancing for joy because he got her to go along.

At Degrassi Paige is telling everyone that she was being a loser stalker and she doesn’t want to cause anymore trouble, so she would like to transfer out of his class, effective immediately. Snake all full of piss and vinegar tells her that she’ll fail the class because there aren’t anymore MI classes to take and it’ll affect her getting into college. Paige still being a moron says that she’s willing to transfer schools but Mrs H tells her that she’ll probably lose her year because it’s so close to the end of the school year. Snake asks her if she’s really thinking everything through. Man everyone is on her case here. But oh shit. Now we know why Snake is so pissed off for. He goes off on Matt and says that he trusted him with his kids. Mrs Hotass asks him what the fuck he’s talking about. He then tells Mrs Hatzilakos that he saw something between them, but won’t say what. Goddamn it Snake! Once again, you’re a big pussy. Paige now in tears just wants the matter closed and is willing to fail. But Matt can’t take it anymore and admits that they had a relationship going on, seeing each other outside of school. Probably porking her too.

Outside her house Emma tells Chester that she only got a warning from the police. Turns out that Chester’s brother’s are named Chuck and Chad. Jesus Degrassi, can you get anymore ludicrous? Anyways, it’s obvious that Chester likes her and is going to protect her from his idiot brothers.

Finally it’s the end of the episode and Matt tells Paige that he can stay in the aid program, but teacher’s college is done. I’m surprised they let him stay at the school after that shit. Paige acts all shocked and tries to make things right, but Matt knows that his career is over. Strange that he rejoices in the fact that he can now be seen in public with Paige. This motherfucker has no shame and is glad to still have his teenage girlfriend. I would say he’s indifferent about not being able to molest future students.

So it’s about time that we got a more interesting episode. Too bad Paige hasn’t learned her lesson. Actually there were hardly any consequences for Matt except being kicked out of “Teacher’s College.” You would have thought that they would have brought charges on his ass for banging a minor. But no, he got away with it Scott free. I’m not even going to mention Emma’s plot, that shit stunk so bad we smelled it all the way down here in the states from Toronto.

Season 4, Episode 17, “Queen Of Hearts”

So I’m back all you Degrassi maniacs. Happy New Years. Yeah, I know it’s February but better late than never right? Reading what this episode is about, I’m already bored and annoyed. Hopefully it’s not as bad as I think it is.

Pre-credit Intro: We open with Ellie living like a slob in Sean’s pad with her army of rodents. She hears a knock on the door and a guy who apparently has no hair on his body is telling her that it’s the end of the month and the rent is due. She tells him that she knows and that she’ll write him a check. He mentions that she was late with the rent last month and doesn’t believe her bullshit excuses anymore. He then notices that the lamp seems to be flickering and she lets it out that it’s her pet ferret, but apparently it chewed through the cable and killed itself. Pretty clear it chose suicide than to keep living with Ellie.

Outside the school Ellie is telling the gang what happened to her ferret. Alex is the only one who seems amused by this news. Ellie goes on to say that she’s been pretty down since Sean left and seems to be more lonely than usual. Marco throwing her some pity tells her that he’ll be there after school so that they could have a rat funeral but she mentions that she’ll be having dinner with her mom that evening. Seems that she’s only seeing her mom to get rent money. That’s pretty fucked up.

I forgot all about Paige and her relationship with the student teacher. Right away she get’s annoyed with him because he calls on Hazel instead of her in class. So of course she just has to confront him on it. But I guess it’s not a big deal. Ok. She goes on to ask him out on a date to the movies that night. Manny comes along and tells her that the new uniforms are in. It’s awkward as hell because Manny just happened to see him pawing at Paige during the last school dance.

It’s dinner time and it’s as tense as it can get between Ellie and her mom. I love how Ellie is being a bitch to her even though she’s giving her money to live on her own, which she really can’t do. Her mom asks her how she is and is proud of her for being independent. She goes on to say that she hasn’t had a drink since she left and wants her to come home because she misses her. Ellie of course is being difficult and tells her that she doesn’t need her anymore or her money. Shit, I can tell that her mom is going to go on a huge binge because of that. Nice going Ellie.

In the next scene Marco and Ellie are giving her ferret a funeral and yeah, I could careless.

At the Degrassi mall Paige is just meeting up with her pedo boyfriend and that’s when the manager of the movie theater tells her that everyone is sick and she’s going to have to work. He stops her from getting herself fired and tells her to go to work. Paige of course can’t help rolling her eyes.

Back at Ellie’s, Ellie is obviously distraught because she’s a lonely loser. Marco then asks her if she wants to go play poker with Dylan’s hockey team. He pretty much let’s on that it’s easy money because they’re a bunch of stupid meat head jocks. We then start to hear the theme song from the Hustler and I’m surprised that they could have afforded the music rights to that. The next day Marco and Ellie are now playing poker with Craig , Jimmy and Alex and Jesus Christ I’m so bored with this episode already.

In class her boyfriend calls on her to define what lying means and he gives her a note in front of everyone. This guy has no shame as he’s making out with her down in the boiler room. Having enough she tells him that she wants to come over to his place because she wants to know how he lives. He gives the impression that he’s embarrassed at how poor he is because he’s just a student teacher, but I think it’s because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s going out with a high school girl. He tells her no and we all know that Paige hates it when she doesn’t get her way.

Down in the Degrassi basement, Ellie and the gang are still playing poker and I guess Ellie is now a poker winning champion. Feeling full of herself, she wants her and Alex to play with Dylan’s hockey team.

In the gym Manny mentions that Mr O is good looking and Paige agree’s even mentioning his hot bulge. Paige confesses that she doesn’t like the fact that he’s trying to keep her a secret even though she full well knows that he would get into deep shit if anyone found out that he was messing around with her, but Paige is selfish and wants her way. Manny makes things worse by saying that there’s not a lot of honesty going on with the two of them and she’s surprised that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Paige mentions that he did but they split. Manny then says, “That’s what he told you.” So yeah, that’s now inside Paige’s head.

So it seems like the big poker party is at Ellie’s place, but it’s a shame that she and Alex can’t get into the game because Dylan’s team play for big money. That’s when stupid Ellie decides to use the rent money that her mom gave her. Shit, everyone can see a mile away how this is going to turn out. I gotta point out how girly Marco looks by serving everyone deserts from a tray.

Anyways, we then get a montage of the poker marathon and Ellie is going through high’s and lows as they either win or lose. Alex then convinces her to use all the money that she has so they can continue to play. Ellie feeling good about everything asks Alex to move in with her. Alex loves the idea because she has such a shitty home life, but she can’t afford to move out. Ellie again goes off on her mom saying how horrible she is for almost burning the house down when she was drunk. Alex then points out that at least her mom sobered up and is paying her rent. She should be so lucky since her own mom is a piece of shit.

At the mall Paige is calling customer service about her phone not working. Yeah, they point out that it’s fine since she’s talking to them on it. Paige is obviously having a melt down because Mr Wonderful hasn’t called her all night. Shit you know it’s bad when even her manager thinks that she’s being played for a fool and getting cheated on.

Seems like Ellie and Alex are a point away from losing the game, but Alex is confident that they’ll win with the hand that she has and she tells Ellie to go for it with her rent money. Alex tells her to sit her ass down and holy shit, they actually won. Alex leaves all disgusted at Ellie for not having any faith in her. I don’t blame Ellie because I sure as hell didn’t think they were going to win.

Paige now completely out of her mind goes to her boyfriend’s apartment and is demanding to know why he hasn’t been calling her all night. She barges in and the place is a real shit hole with water leaking from the ceiling. She feels bad because he’s been battling the fight against dirty shit water coming down into his apartment. She’s finely happy though because he says that they’re in a relationship and she tells him that she’s staying.

We end the episode with Ellie and her mom having a heart to heart discussion. She calls her mom over and lets her know that she’s written a letter to the land lord giving him a two month’s notice. But before she moves in she wants to make sure that her mom has stopped drinking for good. All her mom says that she can do is that she can try as it’s a day to day thing. With that Ellie finally decides to go home.

So fuck, this episode sucked so bad. It was obviously just a filler episode with nothing really happening. So Ellie decided to go back home, whoopie fucking doo. Who cares? The whole Paige storyline is boring as hell too and they’re dragging it out because everyone can see that it’s not going to end well. If I graded these episodes this one would definitely get an F minus. I feel like my time was wasted and I’ll never get it back watching this stinker.

Season 4, Episode 16, “Eye Of The Tiger”

So from what I remember this episode is an emotional roller coaster. Let’s see if it’s as good I as remember it being.

Pre-Credit Opener: We see a bus opening it’s ramp and Jimmy totally looks like Darth Vader coming down from that Imperial Shuttle in the beginning of Return of the Jedi. Except instead of having cyborg legs Jimmy is rolling his machine down the ramp in second gear. I love how all his friends are just there gawking at him as he makes his triumphant return to Degrassi. Spinner comes out just in time and just awkwardly waves to Jimmy. Seems like that asshole never went by to visit him, but we all know what he did at this point. The guilt is strong with Spinner.

Man Jimmy’s having all sorts of problems moving around in that thing, he even got caught by some cables in the MI room. Spinner biting the bullet comes up to him and tries to talk, but he’s too busy mumbling a extremely lame excuse as to why he didn’t visit him once. Seems that he was just too busy and by that he’d rather be porking Manny. Not that I blame him. Jimmy meanwhile is pointing out the fact that he would have been there for him had he not been having surgery getting the fucking bullet out that turned him into Degrassi’s very own version of Professor X. He apologizes some more and it seems like Jimmy forgives him because he has other things to deal with. Like getting around the goddamn school. We then get a montage of Spinner kissing Jimmy’s ass by doing everything for him, including helping him piss and wheeling his ass around the school. But really, it’s all due to his extreme guilt.

Ugh, we cut to the subplot and it involves JT and Liberty. For me the episode has ground to a big halt. Her brother Johnny Mathis comes by and is just as disgusted as I am to see them kissing. Danny get’s pissed because JT would rather spend time with Liberty in her dad’s hot tub. He mentions that if their dad catches them, she’s dead meat. She says that he won’t because Danny will tell her that he’s home before he can find out. Clearly Danny is an asshole and is planning to fuck them both over. You can tell by the evil glint he has in his beady little eyes.

In the next scene the Degrassi boy’s basketball team has just won another game and apparently they’re on their way to the play off’s. Coach Armstrong comes out and tells everyone to give it up for Jimmy because he’s one of the reason’s that they got there. But really? Is the basketball season in high school that long? I swear Jimmy was shot months ago in the beginning of the school year. Anyways, he’s rolls on out there and that’s when Spinner announces that the MVP trophy will now be known as the Jimmy Brooks trophy. Drake is mighty pleased to hear this.

Back at Liberty’s, Liberty’s dad comes home and Danny tells him that Liberty is out back soaking in the hot tub. Her dad finds them both in there kissing and tells JT to get the fuck home. Liberty tells him that he’s one of her oldest friends. Which isn’t true. Liberty really doesn’t have any friends because everyone hates her there. But her dad is all, “I don’t give a damn!”

Meanwhile Jimmy is all alone in the gym trying to play some ball, but he can’t due to being a cripple now. Spinner by the way looks like a giant creep peeping in at him through the small window of the door. Spinner tells him that he better work on his game if he’s going to be back next year. That’s when Jimmy tells him that he’s boned and he’s never going to play basketball again. Spinner tells him not to think that way, but Jimmy says that he’s to blame for what happened because he bullied Rick as much as Spinner and Jay did. Spinner tells him that he wasn’t the one who put the paint in the bucket and then dumped it all over Rick during the game show. Jimmy goes on to say that Rick is the dickhead who has put him in that wheelchair for life. He makes Spinner feel like an even bigger shithead because he’s now wishing that Rick would have killed him instead of crippling him. Spinner now crying and not being able to take it anymore admits to Jimmy that he and Jay implied and made sure that Rick heard them that Jimmy was in on the scheme to humiliate him in front of all of Toronto. At least the people who saw the game show on public access. Jimmy fuming just rolls away in disgust.

The next day of school Spinner shows up and he’s now Degrassi’s newest pariah. They get a new one every season it seems like. I bet you that Jimmy was bitching to Marco about it and Marco being a big girl and gossip went around telling everyone what Spinner did. Craig and Marco come along giving him shit, Marco telling him that no one wants him there. Spinner tells them that he knows that he fucked up big time and that he’s trying to fix things. Craig tells him to stay away from Jimmy and that’s when Marco, feeling brave because he has the maniac Craig on his side tells Spinner not to come to some party going on that night. Man you know it’s bad when a skank like Manny who by the way is also a school pariah is giving you the cold shoulder.

We continue the horrible B plot between JT, Liberty and Danny. Danny tell’s JT that he should have asked him permission to go out with Liberty. Danny goes on to say that Liberty is the smartest girl in school and JT doesn’t deserve her. JT tells him that despite his stupidty, she likes him. That’s when Danny decides to bring up JT’s penis pump. I had forgotten all about that until now. I swear this season seems to be going forever. Oh lord, they start to have a fight like a couple of pansies. JT though actually fucks him up by throwing him all hard to the ground with Danny hitting his head on the pavement. Liberty conveniently comes around and blame JT for Danny getting hurt, even though it was that little pecker head’s fault.

At the Dot, Jay comes in and starts to berate Spinner because he just had to open his big mouth and admit what they did to Jimmy. Spinner tells him that Jimmy deserved to know the truth. Jay then asks him how it feels like to be an outcast and to have everyone hate his guts. It seems like they’re about to have a fight but they’re stopped by the manager of the place who has Cheeto Puff’s for hair. In the back alley Spinner finds Jay sitting on a garbage can and asks him if he wants to go at it. Jay tells him to relax and that he wants to introduce him to some friends. Turns out that it’s hard liquor.

Back at Liberty’s house Liberty is pissed off at Danny for ruining everything between JT and her. He goes on to say that JT is a moron and she deserves to have someone better. Crying, she simply says that he was her boyfriend. It’s mostly because she actually can’t get anyone better besides a pipsqueak like JT.

In the Degrassi woods, Jay and Spinner are having a talk about the party and it’s obvious that they’re already drunk. Spinner slurs that they dis invited him due to everyone hating him. Jay reacting like I would says that they could all go to hell then. Spinner points out that they weren’t Jay’s friends to begin with. Jay reasons that Rick is the real villain there and now that he’s gone, they’re now the scapegoats. Spinner feeling brave says that he’s going to the party anyways.

Turns out he’s not missing much because Craig is boring everyone to death with more horrible singing, karaoke style. Just then Spinner comes through the door like fucking Kramer from Seinfeld and drunkenly tells Jimmy that he’s sorry for everything that he did. Jimmy all full of anger just points out that he’s drunk and everyone tells him to leave. Spinner wanting to get punished wants Jimmy to really give it to him. Jimmy simply tells Craig that it’s his turn still, which is actually just punishing the audience watching this episode. Spinner leaves, but takes the car keys to Joey’s used car.

Marco having more of a heart than the others comes out and begs him not to go home drunk because he might kill someone or end up in jail. Spinner says that he doesn’t care and rolls up the window. Just as he’s about to take off Jimmy gets in the way with Spinner nearly launching his ass into orbit. Jimmy all annoyed with him tells him that he’s getting no sympathy from him. Spinner crying tells him that he wants his friend back. That’s when Jimmy points out that Spinner has really never treated him like a friend when he fucked him over with Rick. Spinner says that he needed to know, but Jimmy again, points out that it was mostly about Spinner feeling better. Jimmy then completely destroy’s him by saying that he should just go off a cliff because he’s dead to him already anyways. POW! If I were Spinner I would have gunned it right there.

We close up the stupid Liberty, JT subplot with Danny fixing things between them. Danny covers for her and they all repair their relationships. Yeah, I don’t care about this shit either.

Finally, it’s the end of the episode and Spinner is in Mrs Hatzilakos office where it seems like he’s going to admit what he did. And he does just that. I love how he throw’s Jay under the bus too for good measure. He goes on to say that he completely understands if he get’s suspended. But Mrs Hotass is now really pissed and points out that Jimmy’s life is ruined and Rick died because of his stupid stunt. She goes on to say that Degrassi has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to bullying. But I have to point out that the whole damn school was bullying Rick at one point. Including Spinner’s friends. Anyways, instead of getting forgiveness she continues the theme of this episode which is that Spinner get’s annihilated by everyone. She tells him that he’s a piece of shit and then she expels his ass right then and there. If he wanted to get punished, he sure got his wish.

So yeah, this was a pretty good episode despite the JT and Liberty bullshit. I still find it crazy that people actually like that story line or their relationship. As for Spinner, he definitely got what he deserved. It just goes to show that every action, no matter what has consequences. Everyone reading this, don’t be a Spinner, be a decent Human being. Also, don’t be a life ruining idiot.

Season 4 , Episode 15 “Secret Part 2”

So for some reason, I remember part one of this two parter, but I’ve never remembered the second part. I only just know that Emma got a disease from Jay because he’s a dirty motherfucker. This is really the first time I’m watching it, so I’m looking forward to it. I’m so disappointed in myself for saying that.

Pre Credit Opener: Emma walks into the school and you can tell that she still thinks that she’s the shit because she has her bracelets on that she “earned” from Jay for sucking on his toot. She looks at Jay and Alex playing around and actually she’s just standing there gawking at them like a maniac. Jay see’s this and kisses Alex and stares back at her like he’s saying, “Yeah, you ain’t shit!” Her co star from the play who seems pretty gay to me asks her if she knows where the costumes are and to make Jay jealous she also kisses him. The guy just says that he’s known her for only ten minutes. Snake in the background is shocked at this behavior. But it worked and Jay actually got jealous. It’s hilarious seeing Manny all happy for her because she’s now a skank like she is.

As Emma is passing by in the hallway Jay grabs her into the library and he asks her if she’s hot for the guy who’s playing Dracula. Emma no longer beating around the bush makes it clear that she wants some more of Jay’s protein and wants to meet at the van down by the river again.  Jay tells her that he doesn’t like to be fucked with but they’re then interrupted by Snake who tells Jay that he wants to talk to his daughter. Jay beats it and Snake tells her that he pretty much knows that she’s full of shit from what she said in the previous episode, but clearly something is wrong with her. Emma just acts like a shithead and says she’ll be late for class.

Oh wow, look who’s in the next scene, it’s Jimmy! I forgot all about him. I thought he was dead at this point, but here he is. Marco and Craig are keeping him company and apparently he’s finally going home. I wonder if he could have gone months ago because don’t they have nurses that can come to your home for therapy now a days? Or maybe his rich dad didn’t want him there. And speak of the devil it’s his dad. He’s come to give him some bad news and his crippled ass isn’t going anywhere because they haven’t finished putting all sorts of rails and ramps at the condo where they live. So once again Jimmy is fucked here.

Lord, we next come upon another boring play rehearsal scene. Manny wants to know all the horny details like if she used tongue or got a good finger bang. JT tells them to shut up because Danny is going over his monologue. All Emma says is that she’s supposed to go to the ravine that night to meet some people. JT is just annoyed with everyone on this play, Amy and some other girl come out on their cue, but not Alex. Amy says that she’s at the Dr and that’s when Alex comes storming in, pissed off while Jay is telling her that it was nothing. Alex walks up to Amy and punches her right in the fucking face. She goes on to say that she knows that she was sucking Jay’s dick and that’s how she got the bracelets she had on. As Emma hears this, she quickly hides them because she doesn’t want her ass kicked too. Meanwhile Manny has noticed that Emma hid her cheap ass bracelets, putting two and two together.

Back at the hospital some chick is trying to motivate Jimmy and pretty much his dad is the reason why he’s still there. See, I told you he doesn’t want him around. But it’s only because he’s being way too over protective.

After school Manny decides to confront Emma and asks her why she would get with a piece of shit like Jay for, let alone go down on him. Manny then has the nerve to give Emma crap for being used by some guy so he can cheat on his girlfriend. Emma points out that Manny shouldn’t be saying a thing after she aborted Craig’s probably was going to be crazy child. Manny close to tears tell her that she’s better than that and Emma responds with the old, you don’t know me at all bit. So yeah, she’s rebelling, typical annoying teenage thing to do.

We go back to the hospital and Jimmy has a stupid plan where he wants Craig and Marco to take him out of the hospital. Marco of course is a big puss and doesn’t want to. But Jimmy tells them that he’s going stir crazy and he wants to go see Kid Elrick live at Joe’s Joke Emporium. Marco then tells him that they’ll help bust him out. It’s clear that Marco only wants to go see the Kid.

Emma returns back to the ravine and she’s looking for Jay and his penis. She finds him in his car and holy moley, it looks like she’s already stroking his bulge. She wants to suck on his salami, but that’s when he tells her that Alex is sick with something and she thinks that he gave it to her. She doesn’t seem to hear what he just said, or she doesn’t care, but she still wants that cock. Jay surprisingly isn’t in the mood. Emma sounding like a stuck up bitch tells him that there are plenty of guys that would love to be with her. At that Jay tells her that he’s not one of them and kicks her out of his Fast and the Furious car.

We return to Jimmy’s subplot and I gotta say, I’m already bored with it. Probably doesn’t help that Craig and Marco are all up to hijinx to get him out of there. Craig at one point even dons a hat that he probably borrowed from Joey and a trench coat. It doesn’t make him look like an adult, just a flasher. Anyways, after all this bullshit that isn’t remotely funny, they manage to sneak Jimmy out.

Back at Degrassi Emma talks to Jay and he asks her if she’s alright. Emma tells him that she just has a sore throat. But as she said that I’m all, uh oh. She got more than jizz as her reward. Yikes! Anyways, she tells him that she doesn’t care about Alex, but she can’t finish the sentence because JT comes and gives her some orange juice. Which actually is the worst thing you can drink with a sore throat because it’ll irritate the hell out of it. Anyways, Emma tells him that her voice is just tired. JT tells her to drink it because he wants her to be ready for the stupid show.

What’s this, the Degrassi kids are actually in class? It’s a miracle and there’s a nurse there to talk to them all about sexually transmitted diseases. She wants to know who thinks that oral sex is safer than actual intercourse. A few raise their hands and she tells them that they’re wrong. She goes on to say that they think that there’s an outbreak of gonorrhea at Degrassi. As she’s listing the symptoms, you can tell that Emma is about two seconds away from having a meltdown because she has them all. Plus she mentions that you’re at risk if you have oral sex or if your partner has had multiple partners. Like Jay!

Jimmy and the guys finally get to the show and Jimmy can’t enjoy shit because he feels self conscious about everything.

Thankfully it seems like it’s the night of the play and Liberty is nervous because she has to play Alex’s part. Manny decides that this is a perfect time to ask Emma if Jay has gonorrhea because both Alex and Amy happen to be sick. Manny tells her what the fuck she’s going to do that night. Emma simply says that she’s there to play Mina. Manny tells her that if she has any empathy she won’t kiss the guy who’s playing Dracula with her nasty ass diseased lips. Of course she has the nerve to get pissed and just leaves in a huff.

Back at the lame concert Jimmy is pissed and disappointed because he can’t see the damn stage due to everyone standing in his way. Both Marco and Craig leave him for a bit to see what they can do about it. Jimmy tells this guy who looks like he’s a reject from the band The Prodigy that he can’t see a goddamn thing. The guy tells him no problem and moves out of his way. Jimmy see’s that this is the key to getting up front so he just moves his machine up forward and can finally enjoy the show.

We cut back to the stupid play and it’s time for Emma to kiss Dracula. I wanna throw up just thinking about it. Anyways, Emma is about to lean in for a kiss and that’s where Dracula pulls her next to him and he tells her to follow his lead. I guess some how he knows that Emma is diseased. I don’t know, but he changes the scene around where it’s completely avoided. Backstage Emma is all pissed off at him for changing the scene around. The guy tells her that he’d rather ruin everything than getting what she has. Jay hear’s all this and tells her, “Screw em.” Emma then has the audacity to blame Jay for all her troubles, even though she’s the one who sought the whole thing out. Jay tells her that he never told Alex about her and he likes that she’s different than the type of hood rat he’s used to getting with.

Back at the hospital, the guys are talking about how great the concert was, but it’s short lived because Jimmy’s dad is actually there again and he’s pissed that he ran off. So here we go with the heart to heart moment of this episode. Jimmy tells him what can he do, ground him? Jimmy tells him that he actually went out and had a great time and everything was alright. He goes on to say that he’s ready to go home, but it’s his dad that has to be ready for it. I’m thinking that he just doesn’t want to wipe Jimmy’s ass. But he agrees to the next best thing, he’s hiring a home care person to take care of his son. So he’s still going to be an absentee father.

We’ve finally reached the end of the episode and Spike and Snake are telling Emma how great she was and Emma now getting tears in her eyes tells them that she just wanted them to be proud of her. Spike tells her that she doesn’t have to be perfect and she should just be her. Emma says what if she doesn’t like the person she is at the moment. Spike makes a confused face and Emma continues with asking them to take her to the clinic. Spike thinking that she’s sick feels her head and Emma tells her she has to go. Snake tries to calm Spike down by saying that there is something going on at school (The Clap), but Emma most likely won’t even be close to having it. That’s when Emma tells him that she just might have whatever it is and can they please just take her to the fucking clinic the next day. The episode ends with Snake grabbing Spike’s hand and boiling it in hot water so she won’t catch it either.

So this was a slightly better episode. Thank God that it didn’t involve anymore Craig and his mental illness and the fact that the dumb Dracula play is finally over with. Obviously the best thing about it was Emma and her quest to be a hoe. Too bad that it seems like Jay and Alex are finished as a couple, but that’s Degrassi for you.

Season 4, Episode 14, “Secret Part 1”

Hey there Degrassi maniacs, yes it’s been awhile since I last posted an episode review. I originally intended on starting up again once I got settled into moving into my fiance’s house back in June. But as usual, things don’t go as planned. First she was diagnosed with cervical cancer, we were devastated to hear this news. But luckily they caught it early and she beat it. Then while she was recovering, about a week after her surgery I got this horrible pain in my gut and I was diagnosed with Diverticulitis. They said it was a mild case of it. I can’t imagine how a full blown attack feels like because that hurt like a motherfucker. Anyways, needless to say, it was a pretty shitty Summer for the both of us but it’s now November and we’re both recovering nicely. I may be rusty at doing this again, so bare with me.

Pre Credit Opener: Ah, I just noticed that this is the big episode where Emma sucks Jay’s nasty dick. So we’re in for a real treat with this one. We open with Johnny Mathis going over his lines for Liberty’s stupid Dracula play. Jay notices Emma just standing there and he starts to massage her shoulders, saying how tense she is. Jay noticing that Emma doesn’t mind one bit that he’s touching her decides to risk it and feels her tight little ass next. Or is he fingering her asshole? I can’t tell. She get’s yelled at by JT because she missed her cue and all she does is look back at Jay with a confused look on her face. Probably because she liked it I’m guessing.

After class the teacher who was played by the same guy who worked for LD’s dad from Degrassi Junior High is telling Emma that her participation grade is going really low and he knows that she went through a lot with the shooting, but she needs to get her head out of her ass already. Emma just stands there with a blank look on her face and just leaves. She stops in her tracks and gawks at Jay and Alex making out. Jay sees her and says the classic line of, “Why don’t you take a picture it’ll last longer.” But he’s looking at her with lust in his eyes.

Outside the school Ashley is really worried about Craig for some reason. Ellie tells her that it’s so not her job to be worrying about him all the time. Which just goes to show how dead Ellie is inside after Sean dumped her. Craig comes by and is eating his lunch like a slob. Craig stops swallowing his food into his mouth and asks Ashley what they were talking about. Ashley tells him not to worry and she hasn’t told anyone that he’s a bi polar asshole. She then makes the mistake of asking him if he’s thought about going to a support group with other fucked up individuals as himself. Craig of course doesn’t want to talk about it and get’s annoyed with her. Which isn’t hard, Ashley can be irritating. She then makes a deal with him that he should at least go for one night and if he hates it, he doesn’t have to go back again. Yeah, that’s going to work out well.

In the next scene they’re still rehearsing Liberty’s stupid play and it’s obvious that Darcy sucks ass at acting. Emma corrects her one too many times and she gets annoyed at her. JT is going insane because she just happens to be the leading lady. He then pretty much fires her and she goes off in a huff. Emma starts to recite more lines back stage and Manny tells her to just go for it, but she’s in depressed mode right now so her confidence is at an all time low. Meanwhile Amy is going on about her cheap bracelets missing, why even mention this? Because it’s integral to the plot that’s why!

We cut to the teen support group and Craig is already boring people with his problems. He quickly clams up because surprise, surprise Ellie walks in and he knows he’s fucked because she now knows how fucked up he is. But really? Everyone knows how messed up he is so no one would really be surprised.

The next day Jay pulls up to Emma showing off his car because he’s seen the Fast and the Furious one too many times. Emma accepts and get’s in the car and they talk about Sean and how much they miss him. She does at least. They pull up to her house and he asks her if she wants to go to the park where all the bad Degrassi kids hang out. Emma walks in and hears Spike talking about how worried she is about her acting like a basket case and Spike should know because she acted the same way in Degrassi High. Down in her room Manny calls her but she ignores her. She then decides to go hang out with that scumbag Jay at the park.

She get’s there and it’s like a scene from the Outsiders where all the greasers were hanging out with a bon fire going on. She asks him if he thinks that she’s weird and he tells her that she’s no more weirder than the rest of them. Suddenly these two people come out of this junked out van and it’s obvious they did the nasty in it. Emma asks him what’s in the van and Jay now being horny asks her if she wants to see. Because Emma is predictable she goes in there with him. Jay just goes for it and kisses her. He explains to her that the van is used for people to suck dick in there. She panics and starts to leave, but Jay being a walking hard on gives her one of the cheap bracelets that Amy was going on about and says that every player get’s a prize.

The next day of class JT and Liberty are irritating as hell talking about the stupid play. JT is in deep shit because he lost his leading lady. Emma stands up and starts to say more lines from the play. Liberty being a shit head tells her that they need someone reliable and that she’s been off lately. Emma convinces JT pretty quickly because he’s desperate.

In the hallway Ashley tells Craig all about her two dad’s big gay honeymoon, but all he’s concerned with is that they think he’s insane. But he did act like a fucking maniac in front of everyone. Craig acting like a little bitch tells her that she sent him to Ellie’s group on purpose and then Ashley has the nerve to be offended when he tells her that she didn’t think about his feelings. Which is kind of true.

We go back to rehearsals and Emma fucks things up by laughing when she’s supposed to kiss Dracula. Back stage Amy and Alex are making fun of Emma because they somehow know that she’s afraid of some penis. That or they’re just bitches who assume that she’s a goodie two shoes. Emma all full of herself shows her bracelet to Amy and tells her that it’s hers, even though she never sucked Jays hairy root. Amy and her very thin eye brows is very confused for some reason. Alex for once has no idea what the both of them are talking about. Which is surprising.

After school Emma tells Jay how Amy shut up when she showed her her cheap ass bracelet. Jay tells her that maybe she should shut up about it because she didn’t earn anything and Amy did. Emma asks him if Amy earned it from him. He tells her that there’s plenty of skanks in that ravine and she should feel lucky because he picked her. Emma being stupid feels really complimented by that.

At Joeys Ellie comes by and asks Craig if he knows how to restring a guitar. He quickly see’s right through the ploy and she admits that Ashley made her go. She then goes on to say that she’s a cutter and he says that he knows. Shit, the whole school knows since she’s emo as fuck. She tries to talk to him by saying that she’ll always be a cutter and that he should just accept it. She then desecrates Kirk Cobain’s name by mentioning it next to Craig’s and says that if he would have accepted it, things would have been different. She then tells him that he should go back to the group, but he should also talk to Ashley too. He tells Ellie that all she wants to talk to him about is his craziness and that she’s bringing him down with that bullshit.

Back at the park Emma comes up to Jay and says she wants a tour of the jizz filled van. Seriously, that’s fucking disgusting, but it seems Emma doesn’t mind one bit. They go into the van and yeah. Emma is going to go to town on Jay’s wang saying, “Hello boner.”

In the next scene Craig is telling Ashley that he did like Ellie group and that he’ll most likely go back again. Ashley apologizes for the shit that she pulled but is glad that he’s going back. He tells her that he wants to be her boyfriend and not some crazy bastard that she has to save all the time. Pretty much he tells her to cut her shit out already.

Uh oh. Emma is sneaking into her room in the basement and she’s caught by a very pissed off Spike. Emma lies and tells them that she went out for a walk. She finally breaks down and tells Spike that ever since the shooting, she can’t sleep and is deathly afraid of the world. They  feel sorry for her and tell her that they’ll be time to talk in the morning. The episode ends with her having a smug look on her face and is proud to have another bracelet on her wrist.

So this was an interesting episode. I can’t wait until the stupid play is over with, because really who cares about that shit and I’m a fan of Dracula, but not when JT and Liberty get their hands on it. Craig’s story line is also played out, how much more can they squeeze out of his mental illness? This being Degrassi, the answer is plenty since they like to cover any topic that can affect every Human being on the planet. The highlight of course is Emma gurgling Jay’s meat on a van down by the river! Stay tuned for part two. I promise it won’t take six months for the next review.