Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama. New reviews at least once a week. Hopefully. But if I feel like it I might make two to three reviews a week. So it'll depend.


3 Comments

Season 3, Episode 17, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”

So we return to an Episode that “Goes There”. That’s right this is the big Terri get’s fucked up by her boyfriend episode. I’m not sure, but I believe this is the last episode she’s featured in, or maybe she makes one last appearance as the season concludes. But who cares. Let’s see how Terri get’s taken out of Degrassi. Man, what a DeBummer.

Pre-Credit Opener: We open up with Paige telling the gang that she has her parents mini van for the weekend and you know what that means. Party!! Everyone is super excited except for Terri because she doesn’t have that special someone to go on what’s most likely going to be a lame road trip. Hazel tells her, “You’ll be with all of your friends idiot!” Paige tells her to bring someone and we all know who Terri is thinking of bringing along because she is indeed an idiot.

Oh what a surprise. Yet again Mrs Kwan is teaching something that isn’t remotely related to language class. I would say she’s more of a life skills teacher. I remember when I was in Jr High we had a class called Life Skills class. And it was pretty much stupid shit like this. Rick and Terri become partners for a trust exercise and yeah, it’s pretty predictable. They each fall into each other’s arms and with that, Rick weasel’s his way into Terri’s heart again.

After class Rick tells Terri that he wanted to call her to apologize for beating the hell out of her, but he was too much of a chicken shit to do it. He goes on to say that he misses her and the fact that she hung out with Paige all the time made stalking her hard. Terri just leaves and says she’ll talk to him later.

In Snake’s class Marco is being a little brown noser and tells him that the sub that they had sucked ass and they’re all glad that he’s back. Snake is back to his old self. At least he’s not a dick anymore. Oh lord Marco and Ellie have a night of watching an Indian movie double feature. What a couple of bores I swear. Ashley points out to Ellie that Sean like most normal teenage boys wouldn’t sit through that kind of boring bullshit. Ellie says, “Why would Sean come?” Ashley points out that they are sort of seeing each other, but Ellie is adamant that things haven’t changed between her and Marco just because she’s seeing Sean now. Yeah, we all know this isn’t going to end well.

At Caitlin’s TV station Sean walks into Caitlin and Ellie’s bull session. Sean cuts to the chase and he wants to watch a new movie called Elimination Round 3. Ellie says that she wants to go with him, but she realized that she has a boring evening with Marco planned already. What’s a girl to do?

We cut to The Dot and everyone is disgusted and pissed off at Terri for bringing Rick along to their sacred hangout. Paige all full of fury says that she’s not going to be driving that asshole around all day long. Spinner points out that it’s better that they come along since they’ll be able to keep an eye on them.

Ha! The poster to Elimination Round 3 features a bald black dude and none other than motherfucking Yick Yu! Marco and Ellie come along and right away he’s acting like such a woman. Sean much like I would be in that situation is disappointed that she brought him along.

So it’s finally time for the big road trip and it seems like they just went to the local Degrassi park. Rick sit’s his ass on the hood of the van and tells Terri to come and join him. Paige all annoyed tells him to get the hell off before he and Terri put the mother of all dents on it.

Back at the movie Marco and Ellie are acting like a couple of assholes. You can tell that they think that they’re sophisticated and that an action movie is beneath them. Jay get’s so annoyed at them that he throws popcorn at Marco. Sean then reaches for some popcorn but he touches Marco’s hand instead. He probably wants to boil it because he thinks he has gay now.

The scene cuts back to the park and Paige is fuming and you can tell she’s about to blow. Rick goes to get what I’m assuming is food for Terri. She takes that as an opportunity to talk to her about Rick. Terri being a fool says that he apologized. Paige getting more irritated by the minute shouts out, “Of course, that’s what his kind does!” Rick comes out of nowhere and starts to tell Paige that she has no right to tell Terri who she can be friends with and that she’s a backstabber. I don’t know how she is in that situation. It’s not like she ever fucked Rick over like she did to Manny and Hazel. Anyways, Paige goes on to call him a psycho and Rick loses it and kicks Paige’s mini van and leaves. Terri being on Rick’s side starts to yell at Paige. She pretty much says that she’s sick of her shit and constantly being told what to do. Paige having enough yells at her to go after him if she’s such a bad friend. I gotta say, I’ve been in Paige’s situation before with people like Terri. Especially when they get back together with someone they know is toxic. It’s very annoying and frustrating, but you can’t control people. Even if they are fucking stupid.

Out in some field where a bunch of bricks are just laying around, Rick is going crazy kicking at the air in anger. Terri starts to apologize about Paige but Rick cuts off her shouting, “She does not matter!” Terri says, “Calm down day time Emmy.” He does and goes on to say that he’s happy that they’re together again. After they kiss, Terri starts to pull him along and says to just ignore Paige. He tugs her back all aggressive and says he’d rather walk back. Terri points out that it’s far walk. Rick says that she called him a psycho. Paige tells Rick that that’s just Paige being herself, which is a bitch. Rick now is starting to get more aggravated and says, “What? That makes it ok? My feelings mean nothing to you?” Terri starts to panic from his vise like grip thanks to him hulking out due to anger again. She says that she’s going back because he’s hurting her. At that he loses it and yells, “You’re not going! You’re not!!” And then pushes her and Terri fucking splits her head open falling on top of one of the random cinder blocks just lying around. At this point Rick makes a shocked face because he knows that he went way over the line. He went up to 11 with that fury.

We cut back to Paige and she’s clearly worried about Terri because it’s been awhile since she left. They come out of the bushes and spot Rick kneeling next to Terri’s carcass. Rick looking like OJ with Terri’s blood all over his hands panics and runs away. I love how Spinner made no attempt to chase him and stomp his ass into the ground. Instead he runs to get his cell phone.

At Degrassi Mr Raditch is telling the entire class that Terri was maimed that weekend and is in the hospital until further notice. Marco starts to ask Snake if it was an accident and Spinner cuts him off by saying that it wasn’t an accident. Ashley wonders out loud if Rick is in jail. Snake tells everyone since he’s a minor he’s not allowed to talk about any specifics. Spinner tells him that if he see’s Rick, his ass is grass. Oh lord Snake then says, “We can talk about our feelings together.” I’m with Spinner, get the fuck out of here with that hippy bullshit Snake. Paige busts out this lame looking get well card for Terri and everyone signs it.

Back to the B plot, Ellie is telling Marco that she doesn’t really want to go visit Terri since she didn’t even know her. And you know what? Why should she? Marco offers to go with her and that’s when Sean comes by and get’s instantly annoyed at seeing Marco next to Ellie. He makes a major alpha move and makes Marco move out of the way. It’s hilarious. Ellie now pissed off leaves Sean by himself and goes with Marco. Ellie doesn’t seem to know how to act in a relationship.

The next scene is at the local Degrassi hospital. Terri is so messed up that she’s now in a coma. Terri’s dad comes along and tells Spinner and Paige that she’ll be having surgery later on in the night because she has a blood clot. He then starts to go off on Rick and he can’t believe that little prick would hurt his daughter like he did. By the look on their faces he picks up on the fact that they knew that he was being abusive towards her.  Understandably he yells at the both of them and asks why the hell didn’t they say anything. The both of them just leave with tears in their eyes.

Outside The Dot Paige stops her mini van and starts to cry. Spinner tells her that she’s going to be ok and gives her a little smooch. At that Paige aggressively starts to make out with him. Even Spinner being a big horn dog isn’t down for this shit. Paige of course get’s all pissed off and starts with the blame game. She goes on to say that none of this would have happened if Spinner would have just left them behind like she wanted to. Spinner now angry blurts out the fact that she’s the one who told her to go off with him. Check mate!

Inside, Ellie is telling Marco that she should dump Sean because he’s being rude towards Marco. Marco points out that the only rude one in that relationship is her. Plus he’s tired of being her security blanket and feeling like a third wheel. I think he just doesn’t want to hang out with Sean’s scumbag friends.

All dejected, Spinner makes his way back to Degrassi and then he spots Rick waiting inside a car. Spinner get’s super pissed and drags his ass out. Rick starts to yell, “Spinner stop!” Spinner asks him if he stopped when he ravaged Terri. Paige then comes along pleading for him to stop too. Rick’s mom then comes out of the school and tells them to leave her son alone. Spinner just leaves crying. Ugh! I would have been like Kevin Dillon’s character in Platoon and told Spinner, “Fucking pussy! He’s laughing at you!” I would have beat the shit out Rick. But you know, this is Degrassi and it wants to teach that an eye for an eye is not the way. Spinner sits on a bench and starts to cry to Paige that he’s no different than Rick. Paige tells him that he is different because he stopped himself. *Eye roll* Whatever.

We conclude the B plot by Sean and Ellie having a conversation about their relationship. They both think that they’re dumping each other. Ellie tells him that she’s sorry for being a horrible girlfriend, and then she says, “You haven’t been a great boyfriend either.” I don’t know how she figures this, but Sean knowing better just agrees with her craziness and says that he doesn’t hate Marco, he just wants to date her.

At the hospital Terri’s dad comes out and tells them that they don’t know if she’s brain damaged or not. They all apologize for their behavior and Paige says that they should have said something. He makes them feel better by saying that they’re good friends.

Man, I must be rusty, this took me about two hours to write. Ridiculous. But this was a pretty good episode. I guess we had to have a domestic violence story and Degrassi delivered. I still say Rick should have had his balls cut off for what he did. Another frustrating thing is that we never found out if Rick was punished or not. But this is Degrassi after all and they always like to leave things open ended.


Leave a comment

Season 3, Episode 16, “Take On Me”

Ok all you Degrassi maniacs, this episode is possibly one of the worst episodes of the series. Definitely the worst one for this season. This is an episode that make’s me think, “Well this is unpleasant. Why do I want to be here?”

Pre-Credit Opener: Ellie comes up to the school and makes a face that pretty much shows that she doesn’t want to be there. We then see that she has some OCD thing because she starts to flick a rubber band she has on her wrist. Man she’s more fucked up than I thought. In the cafeteria Mr Raditch walks in dressed like a Mississippi Pimp. No, he’s obviously trying to dress like the asshole teacher was in The Breakfast Club. The students there are Sean, Ellie, Jimmy, Hazel and Toby. Anyways, Raditch just lays down the law and tells them to study and to think about why they’re there. Sean being a rebel burps at him as he’s walking out.

Being lameo’s they actually do what Raditch tells them to do. Except for Sean. Sean is just throwing his prized rubber ball against a wall, annoying everyone. Jimmy can’t stand it and just has to say something. Sean tells him to fuck off and throws the ball up. It knocks down a part of the ceiling almost killing Ellie. But Ellie does’t care about her well being, she just cares that it fell on her emo bag. Sean goes to see if everything is alright and Ellie acts all strange like she doesn’t want anyone near her bag.

I guess they don’t want to get into trouble so the guys are trying to put the ceiling tile back. But because Toby is a useless idiot he can’t get it back in. All of a sudden they get unbalanced and fall to the floor killing Toby. Yes! The moment that I’ve been waiting for. But no, they just fell and didn’t even get hurt. The episode would have been much better if it was one of those situations where they killed Toby and they got rid of his body and they all made a pact never to talk about it again. But they would never do something awesome like that. By the way, the stunt person they used for Toby looks hilariously bad. Anyways, Ellie helps Sean up and they seem to have a connection. Just like Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald!

Barely an hour has passed and Hazel is complaining about the Saturday detention taking an eon to be finished. Sean rolls his eyes and she says, “Some of us have social engagements.” Sean responds with, “Like what? Combing Paige’s ass hairs?” Jimmy acting like Emilo Estevez tells him to back his shit off. Ignoring him because Sean can easily kick his ass as we’ve seen in past seasons, he wonders out loud what Hazel did to end up in Saturday detention. Ellie all of a sudden says that she got caught skipping class. They all make a face like they don’t care and who asked her. Jimmy goes on to say that he’s there because gopher balls over on the other table fucked up hacking the school computer and ratted him out. Hazel meanwhile avoids the question and runs to the rest room instead.

Oh lord. Radich must be at the peak of his homosexuality and is working out with some tight work out clothes and listening to some disco music in the school gym. Hazel walks in and he’s obviously embarrassed that she saw him doing his jazzercize .

Later on the five of them have become so bored that they start to play truth or dare. Seems like it’s Hazel’s turn and she says that she choose’s truth. Ellie right away wants to know why she’s there. Hazel being odd about it doesn’t want to say and says that she wants to do dare instead. Of course they pick out the worst dare that anyone could have come up with. She has to kiss Toby. Disgusted at first she decides to take a bite out of her shit sandwich and walks over to him. The cheesiest sexy music comes on and and she gives him a kiss while Toby is making a face that he can’t believe that a hot girl like Hazel would ever kiss a fucking dweeb like him.

Outside the school Snake is coming out of his car still looking like Lex Luthor but is looking much better. Seems like he’s finally coming back to work.

Back to the lame Breakfast Club, Toby is telling Hazel that JT is going to be so jealous after he hears that he kissed Hazel. Hazel tells him that he’s not telling him shit. Sean asks her what her problem is since it was just a stupid dare. Jimmy speaking for all of us, especially me says, “Because she’s too embarrassed to say that she macked with a total geek.” Toby knowing that he’s hated by all leaves all disappointed and back to his spot under the stairs like the troll that he is. Sean now pissed off starts to get mad at her and says that she’s a person who follows all the rules and doesn’t have the balls to tell anyone why she’s there. After Sean starts hounding her Hazel admits that she got caught looking at porn on the school computer, much to the delight of all of them.

To make the time go by fast they start to play games where they’re throwing shit at Toby. I told you, no one likes him. Snake comes in and asks them what is going on in there. Jimmy tells him that they’re all there because Mr Raditch gave them all Saturday’s. Snake then tells everyone that he’s all done with chemo and he’s ready to work again. He just doesn’t want to be stuck at home with Spike and her Devil child. So who can blame him.

Sean sits next to Ellie and he asks her what’s up with her and the rubber bands. Ellie tells him that it’s a therapy technique to help her stop cutting herself. Sean being genuinely interested asks her why she cuts herself. Being emo as hell, she tells him that it’s the only pain that she could control. He says that it makes sense and she tells him that he’s the first person to say that. She goes on to say that people talk about him too and his reputation for stealing shit from the school. He pretty much admits that he does steal. Just as Jimmy is impaling Toby with a stick Radich walks in and is super pissed to see them goofing off. Ah, we finally see why Ellie was careful with her bag, she has a tape recorder there. Why she would want to record them is beyond me, they’re all so boring.

And we quickly get the answer to that in the next scene. Seems that she’s taping them for some stupid report for either the school paper or Caitlin’s TV station. So wow, Raditch has put each of them in separate rooms for the rest of the day. That’s pretty illegal to do, especially since he’s not even supervising them. Ellie comes into each room and talks everyone into breaking out and wandering around the school. So yeah, we get a lame montage of the five of them doing wacky stupid shit around the school. Eventually they find an elevator that leads to the roof.

Being a big puss Toby is telling them that he doesn’t think that it’s such a good idea. Hazel tells him, “Stop being a bitch and come on!” Hazel wonders out loud if they’re the only ones that have gone up there. Jimmy finds a necklace making it obvious that other people have been up there before. Being romantic he gives the dirty thing to Hazel because she loves it so much. Jimmy then decides to go for it and kisses her. Else where Sean tells Ellie that he thinks that she’s cute. Sean goes on to say that she doesn’t seem afraid of him. Ellie points out that Sean isn’t freaked out by all of her problems either. I guess this is her being romantic, she exposes her arm and shows Sean all of her hideous scars. Because he’s cool, Sean just holds her hand.

Alone because who would want to be with Toby, he sees Mr Raditch and Snake walking out, talking about all the bad behavior from the students lately. Snake tells him that they’re acting like the police. They should educate them yes, discipline them when it’s needed. But that life is too short and he shouldn’t be trying to control them. It seems like he took what Snake said to heart but then he see’s Toby up there because he’s a stupid fuck. Raditch makes a run for it, while the rest of the Degrassi kids do the same.

The rest of them make it to their respective class rooms but stupid Sean locked his own door for some reason. Jimmy tries to help but it’s too late. Sean just tells him to go just as Jimmy opens the door. But uh oh, as he’s running in he drops the keys that Raditch finds as soon as he goes into the hallway. Back in the cafeteria, Raditch is chewing them all out. Since no one is going to rat the person who did it, he decides to give them all Saturday’s for another three weeks. But he seem’s to have a change of heart and just says that he’s trying to do the right thing with them. At that Toby tells him that it was him who took the keys. He tells him that he appreciates his honesty and then tells the rest of them to go home and enjoy their weekends.

Jimmy tells him that he didn’t expect for Toby to be a man and he finally gives him that high five that he was waiting for in the previous episodes. Ellie says that they should take a group photo. As she’s taking out her camera, the tape recorder falls out and they all hear Sean and Ellie’s conversation. They all get disgusted at her and she explains that it was for the TV station. Toby’s all, “You were recording us?” But please, no one gives two fucks for Toby. Sean quickly figures out that it’s about all the thefts that has been happening around the school. Sean pissed off destroy’s her tiny tape with his boot and leaves fuming. Man, Ellie is going to cut the shit out of her arm now.

Seems like it’s Monday and Jimmy and Hazel are now a couple. As they pass by she says hi to Toby. JT noticing that someone cool actually talked to him asks what happened there that past Saturday. Ellie comes by Sean’s locker and says that she was wrong for what she did. But she really wants the connection that she had with him on the roof. She gives him another tape and says that there isn’t going to be a story. Sean having warmed up to her holds her hand and Ellie is happier than a pig in shit.

So yeah, this episode fucking sucked and it was a chore just to make a recap of it. It was such an unoriginal idea and they probably figured that any kid watching this has never seen or heard of The Breakfast Club before. I will admit that it was key in that two relationships blossomed from it and Toby is now being acknowledged as being a Human. But that wasn’t enough to save this shitastic episode. It was such bad TV and I hate the writers of this show for ripping off and ruining The Breakfast Club for life.


Leave a comment

Season 3, Episode 15, “Accidents Will Happen Part 2”

So we continue with this emotional roller coaster Degrassi style.

Pre-Credit Opener: Craig and Manny seem to be a couple again because Manny is carrying Craig’s bastard offspring. Craig is either really giddy because he’s just that excited or he’s just that insane. It has more to do with insanity it seems like. He starts to go on about wanting a little girl and how Angela has always wanted a baby sister. Their joy is cut short because they run into Ellie who tells them to step off. Paige meanwhile is being nosy as hell and has noticed how they’re both acting now. Paige pretty much suspects that Manny is pregnant. In the MI class the first thing Ellie did was tell Ashley about Craig going out with Manny, but Paige being a shit starter tells her that she thinks that Craig got Manny pregnant. Ashley is so shocked by the notion that steam comes out of her ears.

In the 8th grader’s class JT is beyond happy that Liberty has been paired with Sean for a school project. Man, I forgot that Liberty was even a cast member. Talk about someone who doesn’t matter. She’s definitely the Female Toby. Anyways, the both of them are less than thrilled to be working together. Sean calls her a brown noser teacher’s pet while Liberty calls him a loser wigger.

In the cafeteria Craig is already showing symptoms of being a maniac. Manny tells him that she already finished her milk, but he insists that she has another for her health. Jesus, Craig is already looking up names in a baby book. Ashley comes along huffying and puffying asking them what they’re reading. Craig tries to hide the book but she just snatches it from his hands. Seeing the book pretty much confirms that Craig porked Manny and that she’s now carrying his seed. Out of spite Ashley get’s everyone’s attention and says, “Hey everybody! These two have an announcement to make.” They don’t say anything of course and she continues with, “These two idiots are pregnant.” Manny runs out of there crying while Craig just stares at Ashley. Ashley tells him, “I can’t believe you slept with her!” Hey, that’s what you get for not putting out. I’m not defending what Craig did because it was a real asshole move, I’m just saying it happens.

Manny is crying her little eyes out in a stall and she can over hear Paige and Terri talking. Terri also being a moron says that she’s almost jealous of Manny. Paige is so annoyed with her she asks if she had a brain tumor for breakfast. Paige starts to then go off on Manny saying that she’s ruining her life. You can tell that Manny is taking what Paige said to heart.

Oh lord Emma walks in and calls her out of the stall. She starts to say that she wishes that she would have talked to her. That’s when Manny points out that they weren’t really talking anymore because Emma is a self righteous asshole. Emma being decent asks her if she wants to come over after school. Manny mentions Craig because he’s being really needy and obsessive in this episode. Emma just says to bring his Arnold Horshack looking ass along.

Great, we go back to the B plot which already isn’t that great. JT comes along on his skateboard and annihilates himself in front of everyone. Liberty helps him up and invites him to a Three Stooges film festival. JT once again rejects her and says, “Oh hell naw!” Tired of how annoying she is, he tells her that he doesn’t want to go out with her. She retorts with, “Because of Manny?” She then mentions that he should move on. JT even more annoyed tells her that her three year old crush on him is played out and tells her to fuck off. Wow, the B plot suddenly got better. Finally she got the point.

At Emma’s house they’re having baby 101 it seems like. Craig is all fascinated with Emma’s baby brother while Emma shows Manny what her baby looks like at whatever month she’s at. Manny goes on to say that she can’t tell her mother because she’ll be get her ass kicked and then get murdered for having a child out of wedlock. Apparently Manny’s parents are the strict religious types. The baby starts to cry because he’s sick or something. Craig tries to act like taking care of him is no problem. Manny meanwhile you can tell is getting turned off by motherhood by the second.

Emma answers the door and it’s her new man Chris. What the hell, is there ever a time that Chris isn’t beat boxing or acting like an 80’s robot? Anyways, Emma can hear Manny and Craig struggling to get the baby to shut it’s yap so he can fall asleep. Things predictably aren’t going well. Finally Craig is seeing how difficult it is to actually take care of another Human being. Manny obviously wants to run to Planned Parenthood. You know, I barely noticed that Manny stopped dressing like a whore. I guess pregnancy will do that to you.

In the MI lab Sean is going on about the first time that Canada started getting cars from Japan. But Liberty isn’t listening because she can’t stop staring at JT and his Bobby Brady hair. Sean mentions the fact that his big breasted girlfriend Amy dumped him for some guy at a motocross. But Sean could care less. He tells Liberty, “Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks.” Talk about a true Canadian gangsta. He tells her to move on and to get over JT. Uh oh, she smiles at Sean and you can tell she now has a thing for him. Poor Sean.

Outside the school Craig comes along and asks Spinner if he’s seen Manny. You can tell that Craig is manic about the whole situation, being all jumpy. Spinner asks him if he can ask him a question then slaps the shit out of Craig’s forehead. Spinner starts to ask if he’s lost his fucking mind because he got a girl pregnant acting like he’s all happy. Spinner starts to go on about how his life will be over and he won’t be able to do shit because he’ll have to take care of a baby instead. Craig now angry tells Spinner that he doesn’t get it. Basically Craig is desperate to have a family because his own family are all fucking dead. Sounding like a tyrant he says, “Manny and the baby, they’re mine.” Yikes!

We cut to Spike’s house and Manny comes barging in asking Spike what it’s like to be a single mom. Spike tells her the truth that it’s a tough, stressful life. Especially raising a kid like Emma. Spike then starts to talk about all the love a kid can give you too. Manny doesn’t seem interested in that aspect though. Especially when Spike mentions that she didn’t get to go to college or on trips. Manny says that she wants to study fashion even though I’ve never noticed that that was a passion of hers. Spike being polite says that that sounds nice and that’s when Manny, full of desperation says, “But Craig wants to keep it.” Spike’s inner militant feminist side comes out and says, “And is Craig always going to be there?” She goes on to say that ultimately the decision is hers. Manny seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is delighted to hear that.

Holy shit!! Liberty comes along and says to Sean, “You like?” Sean his trying his best not to laugh because she’s dressed like one of the Pink Ladies. Apparently Liberty thinks that Sean is a 50’s greaser. Wigger Liberty, he’s a wigger!! Sean all angry asks JT, “What is going on?” JT all smug and full of cheer says, “You’re the rebound.” JT tells him that the only way that he’s going to get rid of her annoying dork ass is to be brutal and just say that he’s not even remotely interested in her.

In the next scene we go to Manny’s house and it’s obvious that she’s ready to tell her mom that she’s a slut that’s pregnant. But she has to be careful about it or else she’ll be decapitated or something. She tells her mom that she saw her doctor and is pregnant with child. Her mom of course loses her shit. Manny says, “Mom, I’m not a little girl anymore.” Yeah, clearly. She goes on to say that she wants to have an abortion and says that she’s sorry. All sorts of crying ensues.

In the cafeteria Liberty comes along to Sean’s table and proceeds to make an ass out of herself. She tells him that they should go to the ravine and that she can get a pack of smokes with her five finger discount. Jay starts to laugh his ass off because she is the wackest, lamest person at the school. She’s at Toby’s level now. Sean tells her to cut the shit out and that he will never ever be interested in her. She runs away broken hearted. Meanwhile, their silent black friend with the do rag seems to be interested in her.

Manny goes over to Emma’s house and tells her that her mom was much more reasonable than what she thought. She’s even taking her to the clinic for an abortion. Surprisingly Emma is against this and says, “You can’t” You would have thought that Emma being a feminist would be supportive, but no. They start to talk about live and death. Emma even mentions adoption, but Manny doesn’t want to go through all that.

Finally we come to the climax of this episode. In the hallway Manny tells Craig what she’s going to do and he has the mother of all meltdowns. Craig is clearly a psychopath and tells her no, and that he won’t let her. Emma tells him to watch his hands because he’s becoming all grabby. Craig tells her to get lost and to mind her own business. Emma tells him that she agrees with him but Manny is her friend and it’s her decision. Craig being all possessive says, “It’s my baby!” Emma goes on to say that it’s her body and her choice. Manny all full of tears says that she can’t have a baby and Craig just walks away without saying a word. Emma doing the same thing.

In the MI lab Liberty is feeling sorry for herself because no one likes her. Shit, I know I don’t. Sean tells her not to feel bad because he knows someone that does. What a surprise it’s the thug. He probably just wants her to do his homework for him. Having no standards, she’s beyond happy that anyone likes her.

At the clinic Manny is having a talk with someone there about the abortion. Manny asks the woman how she will feel afterwards. The lady says that everyone has a different reaction to the procedure. Manny relieved that she’s terminating the pregnancy says that she’ll be ok. You know I’m disappointed that Manny didn’t have to fight her way through a crowd of protesters with one holding a baby fetus doll out to her like they did to Erica in Degrassi High. Oh well.

So this was a pretty good two part episode. Craig was over the top crazy in this one. He couldn’t even take care of a wet dream, let alone a baby. Manny meanwhile learned the hard way that if she’s going to have sex, she better use a damn condom next time. It’s obvious that an episode like this will cause a huge debate, but I think it was wrong of The N to not air it. Up until I saw this DVD release, I had idea that Manny even had an abortion.


Leave a comment

Season 3, Episode 14, “Accidents Will Happen Part 1”

So this episode is one that I’ve hardly seen because it didn’t air here in the United States. I guess the issue of abortion was just too hot to handle. The same thing happened with the original Degrassi High because it was the same subject matter. But we’re watching it now thanks to the magic of DVD. Up yours censorship!

Pre-Credit Opener: So we start off with Degrassi’s gymnastic’s team. Seriously? I had no idea that high schools even had that. I thought it was only for college and you know, people who compete world wide. But ok, Degrassi is branching off into Olympic sports. Kendra starts to complain that she doesn’t feel so good and Mrs Hotness says, “Oh noes, not you too Kendra.” But Kendra runs off in mid sentence to go yack in the girls restroom. Hopefully she doesn’t have the shits either. Manny splits her legs and what a surprise, she does it in front of Craig who is taking pictures for the year book. But she looks at him with hate in her eyes because he was caught being a cheating bastard.

manny

In the hallway Ashley and Ellie are talking shit about Manny. As they pass by Ashley says, “Hey Ellie do you smell the stench of a nasty stripper?” Ellie responds with, “Yes, it definitely smells like skank in here.” Manny starts to say something along the lines of,” I didn’t want Craig ahoma homa.” Yup, she just trailed off into a mumble and didn’t even finish her sentence. Paige tries to cheer Manny up by saying that Manny is a great gymnast and everyone is talking about how good she is. But her smile quickly fades because her reputation as Degrassi’s biggest whore is seriously the talk of the school. We get the first hint of Manny’s future trouble when Paige mentions that she looks a little pale.

ellie-ashley-manny

We move onto the B plot and it involves more of Toby’s despair of still being Degrassi’s resident nerd with the now cool friend. Jimmy comes along and asks JT if he still wants to go down to Buffalo for the concert of the year. Toby tries to act like he’s down with Jimmy but Jimmy tells him not to talk to him because he doesn’t talk to annoying fucking toads. Toby is so depressed when Jimmy just leaves him hanging. Toby says to JT that he doesn’t get it, that Jimmy used to be his friend. JT points out that it was before Ashley dumped his ass. But really, JT doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he’s just that unlikable.

toby

In the MI lab, Manny sort of tries to apologize to Ashley for banging Craig, but Ashley doesn’t want to hear it. Once again, Manny can’t get out a complete sentence. Finally she says that she’s sorry, but Ashley responds with, “Sorry doesn’t make up for all the pain you caused.” But please, Ashley dwells with emotional pain. That’s why she’s so Emo Supremo. Ashley sort of feels better when Manny said that Craig lied to her too, telling her that she was the only one.

ashley

In Mrs Kwan’s room Manny looks like death and it’s obvious that she’s fighting not to throw up. She asks for permission to go to the restroom and that’s when Mrs Kwan decides to have a hissy fit and starts to complain about coming to school when she knew that she was sick. Seriously, what a bitch. Manny begs her and off she goes to throw up her breakfast.

In the cafeteria Jimmy is telling Hazel that he might not be able to go the concert after all because he’s failing a class. Toby being extra fucking white bread and lame tries to talk all hip hop to him. But this only annoys Jimmy like it annoys me. Toby tries to weasel his way to the concert only to have Jimmy say that there’s limited car space and besides, Toby doesn’t even like rap. Being desperate , he then tries to use his nerd skills to help Jimmy out with his grades, if he can change it, Jimmy says that he’s in.

Back in the hallway Emma reminds Manny that if she’s really sick, then she can’t compete. Manny all full of attitude tells her, “Who are you my mother?” I forgot that they both hate each other now. Manny for her whorish ways and Emma for being a self righteous little bitch. And to prove the point Emma tells her, “The coach should know.” Manny begs her not to tell due to the fact that her life sucks at the moment and gymnastics is the only thing keeping her sane.

During practice Mrs Hotness tells Manny to show everyone else how it’s done. Manny all full of pride get’s on the balance beam with a huge smile on her face. In the locker room Manny tells Emma that she’s sorry to hear that Snake is in the hospital. Emma says that he’s actually doing good, that the more intense chemo is good for him. You can tell that the both of them are slowly on the way to become friends again. They’re interrupted by Hazel though who wants a tampon from either one of them because she has an intense flow going on. Manny throws her one and says, “I haven’t used mine in forever.” Right away Emma’s mind starts to go crazy and quickly wonders if she’s pregnant. Manny being stupid just blows it off because she’s been training like crazy and get’s mad at Emma all over again for even suggesting that she’s with child.

emma-hazel-manny

Outside the school Manny is going into a panic and is going through her calendar, seeing the evidence that she hasn’t had a period in a while. Shit, it goes all the way back to the party when Craig first porked her.

It’s a new day and Manny is just standing there, staring at Craig while he’s sitting on a bench. In Paige’s office, the girls restroom, Manny goes in there for sage advice from her. She asks her, “How do I know, if a guy used a condom?” Paige responds with, “If he didn’t, you wouldn’t have to piss out his goo.” Manny pretty much tells Paige that she has no idea if Craig used a condom or not. But she’s leaning to no. Paige tells her not to worry because he seems like he’s sort of responsible. Paige tells her to ease her mind she should just ask him and next time she does the nasty with someone, she should make damn sure that he uses a condom.

paige-manny

In the library Toby is trying to hack into the school’s data base and he’s doing it using a hard line and doing it in plain view no less. Toby of course messes up and can’t change the grade because he got disconnected from the server.

It’s finally time for the big gymnastics meet and wow, this is the first time that we’ve seen Manny’s mom. I thought she just lived by herself this whole time. Manny is nervous as hell, but it’s not because she’s competing. Spike’s baby whimpering near by isn’t helping matters out either. Because she can’t take the pressure Manny right away falls off the balance beam and just fucked up the team’s score.

Craig follows her outside and asks her if she’s ok. Manny decides to go for it and asks him if he used a condom when they had sex. Craig clearly going into a panic says that Manny said it was ok and he assumed that meant that she was on the pill. Sort of crying she tells Craig that it was her first time and that doing the act alone was ok. About to lose his mind he asks her if everything is ok. She shakes her head and says, “No it’s not.” But for some reason she lies to him and says that nothing is wrong. He leaves and runs for the hills saying, “See you.”

craig

Out in the hallway Jimmy asks him how the hacking went and that’s when Toby tells him that he fucked it up and accidentally gave Jimmy an impossible grade. Jimmy asks him if he’s going to fix it, but Toby starts to make excuses. Jimmy just man handles him and tells him to fix the mistake before he get’s into deep shit. Just as he’s getting started Mr Radich comes in and asks him for help because he can’t log into his user account. I love how he comes to Degrassi’s resident techno nerd. Anyways, he get’s caught because he’s a jackass. Jimmy meanwhile runs for his life right out of the room.

toby-jimmy

It’s after school and Manny decides to go for a run with her massive Discman. Remember those? She must have anti shock because those damn things would skip over any bump. Anyways, she has a very short run because she starts to throw up again.

She makes her way to Spike’s and she pretty much tells her that she thinks that she’s pregnant. Once again Spike is everyone’s go to person for that since she had Emma at such a young age too. Probably younger than Manny. Later on, Manny comes down and it’s obvious that she’s taken a pregnancy test. She starts to say that she’s stupid for even being in that situation. All Spike says is that she’s not and that she should learn from this mistake. God knows Spike is still paying because she had Emma. Yeah that’s right. I said it! Spike then asks her what she’s going to do if she is pregnant with Craig’s Screech looking child. Manny says that she can’t think about that and she goes on to tell Spike that she’s never going to tell her parents because they’ll literally murder her. The timer finally goes off and it’s the moment of truth. And if you haven’t figured it out already by the title alone, Manny’s pregnant!

spike-manny

In the next scene Jimmy walks into Mr Radich’s office and he’s told to join him and Toby. Right away Jimmy  much like Manny knows that he’s fucked and it’s obvious that Toby ratted him out. Raditch tells him that he’s going to call his parents and that they both got a Saturday. Mrs Kwan calls Raditch out and that’s when Toby starts to say that he freaked out and didn’t know what else to tell him. Any other kid would have come up with a great lie. I know I would have. But I forget that Toby is the lamest motherfucker in the planet and Jimmy just tells him how it is. He starts to go off on him and says that that Saturday is the rap concert and not only is Toby a fake rap fan, he’s also Canada’s stupidest most worthless computer hacker in that nation’s history.

jimmy-toby

Outside the school Craig tells Manny that he got her message. She starts to say that something bad happened and finally tells him that she’s pretty sure that she’s pregnant. Craig all shocked just sits down. Surprisingly he says that it’s ok. Much like Shane (Emma’s dad) in Degrassi Junior High, Craig has delusions of grandeur and thinks that he can actually take care of a baby. Clearly insane he tells Manny that they can be a little family. The episode ends with Manny thinking that Craig has lost his fucking mind.

manny-end-credits

This was a pretty good episode. Sure we’ve seen it before in Degrassi Junior High, but this is a good modern take on the subject matter. Toby of course just had to be in it, but I’m glad that Jimmy told him that he sucks because he does! We’ll continue this story line with the shocking conclusion in part 2


1 Comment

Season 3, Episode 13, ” This Charming Man”

In this episode Sean continues his downward spiral with Canada’s lamest gangstas. While the upper class men dive into the wonderful world of Drivers ED.

Pre credit opener: We begin the episode in Mr Armstrong’s math class. Chris comes along and asks Emma, “So English, did you read the chapta?” I ain’t bullshitting either, that’s how he said it. Emma all smitten with him says, “Sure.” then smiles at him like she has a little girl crush. Class begins and Emma get’s called up to the chalk board to answer a problem. She’s interrupted by Sean and his new big breasted girlfriend Amy making out in class. Emma doesn’t like this one bit and just glares at him with hatred in her eyes. Chris meanwhile is wondering why she even cares about an asshole like Sean for.

amy-sean

At Emma’s house, Spike proudly shows Emma Snake’s birthday gift which is a new used laptop. Fucking Spike is too cheap to get him a brand new one I guess, but then again, he did lose the other one thanks to Sean. So Snake seems to be out of luck. Emma offers to back up his data and she get’s instantly sad when she see’s a picture of her and Sean. It doesn’t last long though because she deletes it out of spite. Spike has taught her daughter well.

Back at Degrassi, JT and Toby are talking about Sean practically fingering Amy in math class. Emma tries to act like it doesn’t bother her, but clearly it does. They then start to talk about the rumors that Sean’s lame gang are stealing all sorts of shit from the school like the construction paper and all the Now and Later’s they could get their hands on. JT pretty much suggests that maybe it was Sean who stole Snake’s laptop, but Emma for some weird reason doesn’t think that he’s scumbag enough to do that to a sick man like Snake. But oh, yes he is.

The B plot involves Spinner, Paige, Jimmy and Hazel taking Drivers E.D. Paige tries to play with Spinner but he’s a nervous wreak because he wants to ride like the wind when he get’s his license. Big surprise he’s studying and can’t retain the knowledge. Plus he’s also blaming a Mrs Gonzalez for being a hard ass teacher.

paige-spinner

In the MI lab I’m assuming, Ashley and Emma want to use the DVD player for their environmental club, but big surprise, there’s a DVD player missing. Right away Emma suspects that it’s Sean and his crew of flunkies. So being Emma, she spots them outside and starts asking them if they know anything about it. Sean denies it and then has the nerve to act like he’s all hurt by the accusation. Oh lord, Chris comes along fucking beat boxing again, Emma clearly isn’t in the mood for his stupid bullshit. Emma starts to say that she’s trying to remember what it was about Sean that she liked. Chris again barely being understandable says something along the lines of, “Don’t bother, Slim Shady isn’t worth remembering.” He then asks her out on a hot date for some milk shakes, which quickly makes Emma’s day.  Chris meanwhile is so happy he starts to rap and pop and locks his way out of school with some Degrassi style hip hop music playing in the background.

emma-chris

Outside the older kids are waiting for their teacher and Spinner is delighted to see that it’s actually someone else. Some dude comes out of the car and Paige is instantly smitten with him. He calls himself Mr Falcone, but I always just call him Mr Falcon. Paige is now all hot and bothered and acts all nervous around Mr Wonderful.

jimmy-spinner-paige-mr-falcone

At the Dot Emma and Chris are having their date but she’s quickly distracted by Sean and his friends walking in. Chris is trying to sound like he’s interested in Emma boring crap but he’s going nowhere because she’s so fixated on Sean. All of a sudden she spots Jay stealing candy from the joint. What is it with these motherfuckers and candy? Anyways, Emma has had enough and decides to rat them out to the owner.

As they’re waking home Emma decides to go for it and asks Chris if he wants to go to Snake’s birthday party. He says sure and offers to rap for all the guests. Emma’s joy is short lived because Sean and his “gang” arrive and Jay get’s into her face. He tells Emma that they’re now banned for life from the Dot. Chris then get’s into his face and tells him to go eat somewhere else. Sean knowing that Jay would probably get his ass kicked tells him to just go. But Jay says that since they want to ruin their fun, he’ll start ruining their’s as well. Emma all smart alecky says, “And what is fun for you Jay? Stealing the school DVD player?” Because Jay is a dickhead, he pretty much admits that they stole Snake’s laptop. Sean makes it worse by making a face at him, pretty much cementing his guilt.

sean

Later on at night Snake is working on his piece of shit computer because he can’t sleep. He’s getting super frustrated because it keeps freezing on him. Hey, we’ve all been there right? Snake says that if he hadn’t lost his other one, he wouldn’t be using Spike’s cheap one. That’s when Emma says, “You didn’t lose it.” Snake asks her what’s that supposed to mean, but she annoyingly says, “Nothing.” I hate it when people do that.

Emma spots Chris at his locker and he says that he has the best present for Snake’s party. Turns out that he wants to give him his mix CD. But he can’t really tell Emma because she’s now obsessed with ruining Sean’s life. You can tell that he’s getting sick and tired of her.

At the drivers ed class, Spinner and Jimmy are making fun of Paige because she’s doing horribly in the class. Hazel meanwhile has quickly figured out that Paige is sucking badly in class because she wants to do Mr Falcon.

In the hallway Emma see’s another picture of her and Sean and she destroy’s it because she’s hella petty. She then see’s Sean and I gotta say, he is acting suspicious as hell. Looking all over the place holding a box close to his chest. Emma decides to play detective and starts to follow him around. But that’s the thing, she’s horrible at it and Sean confronts her and shows her that the box just has a bunch of jumpsuits for autoshop. He then starts to talk straight with her and pretty much tells her what’s what. He tells her that he’s sorry that he hurt her and that their breakup sucked. He then goes on to say that what he does with Jay and his new hoe Amy are none of her business. Which is true. Emma of course get’s pissed off even more because she doesn’t like being talked to that way.

emma-sean

Out in some park Spinner and Jimmy are still making fun of Paige, but that’s when stupid Hazel says that the only reason she’s doing bad is because of Mr Falcon and that Paige likes him. Spinner being a moron doesn’t get it right away, but he becomes infuriated and leaves huffing and puffing when he figures out that Paige want’s Mr Falcon’s D.

hazel-jimmy-spinner-paige

In the MI lap JT is playing NBA Jams on the computer and that’s when Chris comes along and says that Sean really fucked her up good. See, I told you he’s getting tired of her shit. JT doesn’t help matters by pretty much implying that he’s just her rebound. Chris now has the idea in his head and that’s when Emma comes around for her next scheme at getting back at Sean. She basically wants him to help her narc on Jay and Sean to Mr Raditch. Chris is all, “You’ll let this go?”Emma lies and says yes.

In Radich’s office Chris is actually being honest when they get asked if they saw Jay stealing all the shit that they’re accusing him of. He starts to say no, but he’s cut off by Emma. With no shame or remorse, she starts to say that she and Chris saw Jay and Sean loading some equipment into Jay’s car. Chris is so disgusted by her that he makes a face that makes him look like he smelled a really rancid fart. Radich of course has no choice but to call the police.

chris

Back to the B plot, Spinner is acting all aggressive towards Mr Falcon, being super disrespectful and talking shit. Paige tells him to calm down, but Mr Falcon tells her to stop distracting him because he has to improve. Spinner meanwhile is so caught up with hating him that he crashes the car. He probably did it on purpose because he wanted to kill him. The stunt man with the Zack Morris hair looks hilarious in this screen shot.

spinner-stunt-man

Outside the school Jay’s car is being searched by the Mounties. Jay being a smartass is telling them that they won’t find a thing because he’s innocent. Emma comes along and Sean starts to go off on her, not believing that she’s that fucking petty. But this is Spike’s daughter we’re talking about. Of course she’s petty as hell. Mr Raditch interrupts him and asks if there’s anything he wants to say. Sean blurts out, “Yeah! Eat a bowl of dicks!” Radich then gives him Saturday’s for the next two months. He then adds, “Don’t mess with the bull young man, you’ll get the horns.” Sean meanwhile spits in front of Emma’s feet and leaves fuming.

jay-mr-raditch

In the hallway Emma finds Chris and she’s all giddy about getting Sean in trouble. Chris asks her, “What about Simpson’s computer?” That’s when Emma shows her true colors and says, “What about it?” Chris has finally had it when she says, “Sean is finally going to pay for what he did to me.” He goes on to say that she’s not over him yet and that he’s just wasting his time. Which is so damn true. He does the Electric Slide and leaves all pissed off.

It’s finally Snake’s big birthday bash and Spikes brings him a desk top cake. I guess Snake is now known as being a techno nerd douche bag instead of the life ruining idiot he was back in School’s Out. Snake tells Emma that he heard that Chris is going to make an appearance but she says that he’s not coming due to him hating her guts. Snake just tells her that if he’s a good person, he’ll forgive her.

spike-snake-emma

At the Dot Paige comes by and Spinner tells her to leave him alone because he’s working so that he can pay for all the repairs that he did to the student car. Paige tells him that she loves him and blah, blah, blah. Spinner tells her that he switched them back to the mysterious Mrs Gonzalez. I had no idea students had the option to switch back in forth between teachers. But hey, this is Degrassi. Paige says, “It’s ok, I will miss those dimples, chiseled jaw and that huge bulge of his.” Spinner get’s steamed but that’s when she laughs and says that she’s just kidding.

spinner-paige

In the last scene Emma spots Chris at the mall and she tells him that she loves track 3 to whatever rap album he’s listening to. But Emma is full of shit. You can tell that she listens to The Dave Matthew’s Band and Nickelback. She starts to then kiss his ass and asks him for another chance. She promises that she’ll never talk about Sean again and that she did what she did because he broke her heart. Chris mumbles, “Does it feel any betta?” She says that it might if he would come over for some birthday cake.

emma-chris-end-credits

So this episode pretty much sucked. I didn’t care for the B plot at all and Emma was just annoying as hell through out. I can totally see why people hate Emma so much for. But no worries Degrassi fiends. The next episode is better because we continue with Manny and Craig’s relationship. See I told you Manny became a much more interesting character once she stopped hanging out with Emma.

 

 


2 Comments

Season 3, Episode 12, “Holiday Part 2”

Hello all you Degrassi maniacs, in this review we continue the most depressing Christmas episode in the history of ever.

Pre-credit opener: We come upon Spinner and Craig Christmas shopping at the mall. Spinner is impressed that he bought all sorts of cheap crap. He should have just went to a dollar store if he’s going to be such a miser. Craig mentions how he bought Ashley a one of a kind Ramone’s t shirt from 1979. But then when you see it later on you can tell that it’s modern and that he found it at Hot Topic, we’ll return to that for more ridicule later. Craig then finds a stupid ice skating bracelet and he decides that it’s just perfect for his side hoe Manny. Caitlin meanwhile finds Spike with her Devil child having a picture with Santa. Caitlin is so self absorbed that she doesn’t mind one bit ruining the baby’s Christmas photo. Her love life comes first damn it and Spike has to know right away what happened between her and Joey!

caitlin-santa-jack-spike

Later on we see Caitlin writing Joey a letter saying that it seems like they have another chance at love and they shouldn’t waste it. All full of Christmas cheer, she goes over to Joey’s house and drops it off in his mail slot. Instantly she regrets what she does and tries to break in, because Caitlin doesn’t respect anyone’s privacy or private property. But this being the new goofy Caitlin, she get’s stuck at the window instead. Probably by her tits like that one time Claude left her hanging on the fence and she got arrested. Anyways Joey and Sidney find her hanging there and you can tell that Sidney is very annoyed because she’s a bitch.

At Craig’s ice cave/garage, Ashley is complaining that she’s freezing her ass off so Craig offers to go get her some hot cocoa. Once he fucks off, Ashley finds his bag of Christmas goodies and she finds the very girly and modern looking Ramone’s t shirt. I mean look at that shit. Vintage my ass. To make a plot point, she also finds Manny’s bracelet, something that will come to bite Craig right in the keister later on in the episode. But we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves.

ramones-t-shirt

Back to Caitlin and Sidney, Sidney’s had just about enough of Caitlin and her cuteness. She decides to be alpha bitch and let’s her know that Caitlin isn’t going to ruin Sidney’s dictatorship at the Jeremiah residence because they need her and not some stupid klutz from the past. Craig meanwhile comes in and finds the letter. Caitlin all upset grabs the letter from Craig and leaves Joey’s house full of tears. Craig is just, whatever.

sidney caitlin

At Degrassi, Snake’s MI class has decided to give him a present. Snake is immediately touched that he has an Elvis wig to wear for the Winter recital that’s going on later in the day. Jimmy points out that they would have given him a better one, but a good wig isn’t cheap. I can’t help but think that Jimmy is a cheap bastard, because we all know that he has money.

snake

In the next scene we see Joey coming to Caitlin’s office at the TV station to have a chat about their little smooch. She tries to play it off like it was nothing and you can tell that he got his feelings hurt. The Rico Suave guy comes by and gives her a little Christmas present which is an early flight to Montreal the next night. Joey meanwhile is getting jealous and Caitlin says nothing to the fact that the dude is gay. After that, they have a little awkward “we’re cool” moment happening.

Back at Degrassi, Craig decides to give Manny her stupid present early because her family is going away to the motherland for the holiday. She’s so touched by the gesture she probably gave him head in the empty classroom.

Backstage Ashley is telling Manny that she doesn’t know why she’s feeling so nervous for because she’s bored everyone to tears in other shitty performances, but she figures that this time it’s because she’s singing with Craig. Manny starts to do her make up and says that maybe Ashley needs to distance herself from Craig because of her emotions. Ashley not knowing what the fuck she’s talking about asks her what she means by that. But that’s when she notices the ice skate bracelet on Manny’s wrist. She asks her where she got it from and Manny says, “Just a guy I’ve been fucking a while.” Ashley not being dense quickly figures out that Craig has been cheating on her with Degrassi’s biggest slut since Stephanie Kaye. Manny’s smug look is quickly erased when she finds out that Craig never broke up with Ashley. Oh snap! Take that! Karma! All of that shit!!

manny

Finally, it’s time for Degrassi’s big holiday gala spectacle. The night opens on a bummer though because Toby is up there talking about Hanukkah. I’m telling you, he ruins everything. Off stage Craig tells Ashley not to worry about her stupid emo Christmas song. Oh, if he only knew that she’s a mushroom cloud in the beginning stages. Mercifully Toby’s finished and JT comes out as the host dressed like Willy Wonka and introduces Craig and Ashley with their song, I’ll spend Christmas With You. Craig starts to sing and notices that Ashley is just sitting there like a wooden Indian. He just starts to ask her what’s wrong and that’s when she slaps the shit out of him and storms off. JT jokes, “Maybe they won’t be spending Christmas together. HAHA!” That was a good one, I’ll admit.

craig

In the hallway Craig asks her what her problem is and right away she lets him know that she found out that he was cheating on her with that skank Manny. Craig looking like he wants to cry tries to play dumb. Ashley now crying asks him how he could do such a thing. Craig meanwhile can’t say a fucking word, because what can he say. She dumps his ass and takes back her grand father’s ugly guitar. But it’s not over yet, Manny comes over fuming and just looks at him with so much sass. Craig accuses her of telling her, but Manny says that Ashley figured it out because he’s stupid. Manny then follows suit and dumps Craig’s Screech looking ass too. The insult to injury being that she drops the bracelet on the floor. Much like Joey a decade earlier, he has two girls that hate his guts. Craig is going to be spending a while getting reacquainted to his regular masturbation schedule again.

manny-craig-ashley

Joey comes along and wants to know what’s going on because he’s nosy. Craig pretty much tells him what he did. Joey must have had a monster flash back to when he fucked up his relationship with Caitlin. He then tells Craig the whole story, you can read all about it here, https://degrassijuniorhighreviewed.wordpress.com/tag/degrassi-schools-out/ because that shit is ancient Degrassi history. After that history lesson, Craig tells Joey to get real because he and Caitlin have never gotten over each other. He then says that he can see how it is between the both of them. Even that harpy Sidney. Joey asks him what he’s talking about and it’s assumed that Craig snitches on Sidney, but we don’t see it because the scene just cuts away to the people coming out of the school gym.

As soon as they come out Joey asks Snake if he can watch over Angela while he talks to Sidney. Right away she knows that something is wrong because she says, “Joe, you’re making me nervous over here.” And that’s another thing that’s annoying, the fact that she calls him Joe. Anyways, he asks her if she said anything to Caitlin, driving her away. Sidney doesn’t even try to deny it and says yes. She says she did it because Caitlin was always just hanging around, fucking up everyone’s Chi. Sidney then asks Joey if he’s sure that Caitlin is just his ex. She then starts to say that she needs their relationship to work because she loves him, but ouch. Joey doesn’t say anything to that and she knows that he doesn’t feel the same. Broken hearted she leaves all full of tears. Yeah good riddance! In the screen shot you can see the exact moment that her heart got ripped to shreds.

sidney-crying

At the airport Joey calls Caitlin just as she’s waiting to take off to her boring spa weekend. She see’s Joey, Craig and Angela in the terminal and she rushes out because she knows that once again she’s won Joey’s corny heart. Out in some hanger Joey tells her to stay and says that Sidney has hit the bricks. Joey goes on to say that when he cheated on her with that Whoville looking chick Tessa, he thought that he lost her forever. So the episode ends on a happy ending with Joey and Caitlin kissing and becoming a couple again.

joey-caitlin

Part 2 was a little better, we finally ended Sidney’s reign of terror on Joey and Angela. She was good looking though and could do way better than Joey. I wonder, did Caitlin really win in the end? Hmm. As for the Craig, Ashley, Manny love triangle? It was pretty much another retread from School’s Out. That’s why it’s so funny that Joey told him that he did the exact same thing. If I were to give this episode a letter grade, it would be a hard C.


Leave a comment

Season 3, Episode 11, “Holiday Part 1”

It’s Christmas time in Degrassi land and you know that these motherfuckers are going to have drama up the ass. They can never just have a joyous holiday or occasion occur. There’s always gotta be something going on.

Pre-credit opener: This is another episode where the DVD version is different from the version that was shown on The N. The N version said that it was a Degrassi Christmas Special and it had some generic Christmas like music playing in the background. This one has a Charlie Brown sounding Oh Tannenbaum version playing. Anyways, Joey is having a tree trimming party at his house and Spike, Snake, Caitlin, Emma and Ashley are all invited. Right away Sidney, Joey’s girlfriend shows what a control freak she is by telling Joey that the angel on top isn’t straight and that the actual tree itself would look better in another position. Joey being pussy whipped immediately does her bidding with Craig helping. Ashley calls Craig a man amongst men and he kisses her on the cheek. Just then Manny calls and she sounds all pathetic telling him that she misses him. Craig not wanting to be caught calls her Spinner and says that he’ll talk to her later, disappointing her greatly.

craig-ashley

Caitlin meanwhile is in despair because it’s obvious she’s into Joey again, even though she broke up their engagement about a decade earlier. She goes on to tell Joey that she’s going to Montreal to have a lame spa weekend because Caitlin has no one in her life. Not even her mom. The insult to injury being that Sidney and Joey start to kiss about 3 inches away from her face.

sidney-caitlin-joey

I guess it’s the next day and we have some more horrible acting by Angela Jeremiah, aka Manny Jr. It seems like Sidney has made a dress for her skating pageant that’s coming up. Joey sounding like a complete bitch asks Sidney why she can’t go to the stupid pageant. Sidney, sounding like the man in the relationship says that she can’t because she has a work commitment. This greatly hurts Joey’s feelings because he can just shut down his lousy used car lot whenever he wants. It’s not like he has customers anyways.

You know, it’s funny, this is the first time that I’ve ever noticed that there’s snow. I mean it’s Canada but you’d never know it because the show portray’s a forever Spring and Fall world going on. But yes! We finally have Winter going on. Inside, Craig is taking pics of Angela being a Christmas star apparently. Yeah, it’s lame and boring, just like being there. Craig then spots Manny and runs off because he get’s instantly rock hard whenever he sees her. He finds her at the cafeteria and tells her to meet him at his garage because Craig needs to have an early Christmas present from Manny. Spinner see’s them kissing and makes his presence known.

craig-spinner-manny

Spinner not giving a shit that Craig is cheating on Ashley wants to know what it’s like to be pounding two women at once. Well girls mostly, but you know what I mean. Craig being full of himself thinks that he’s a mack daddy and basically says that pimping ain’t easy. Craig asks him if he thinks that it’s wrong, Spinner says for him it would be, but for Craig, not at all. Especially since he has Paige and he knows that she would destroy him with the power of rock and roll and her band PMS. Spinner goes on to call Craig a stud and Craig obnoxiously says, “Yeah well, I get around.” All the while making a face that would make Screech proud.

craig

Back at Joey’s, Caitlin’s there for no reason and she asks him about Sidney. Caitlin then starts to go on about her lack of love/sex life. Joey burns his fucking hand in the fireplace when she says that she has no one to keep her warm at night. He probably can’t believe it because she’s still super good looking. But that’s when Sidney walks in just in time to see Caitlin holding Joey’s melting hand and she just can’t help getting jealous.

In the next scene we go to Joey’s freezing garage where Manny is patiently waiting for Craig. She tells him that he needs to warm her up and they start to make out. She interrupts the love fest by giving him a scarf that she made him for Christmas. She then drops the bomb on him that all she wants for Christmas is for Craig to dump Ashley’s annoying goth ass. Craig tells her that he can’t make that choice and she get’s her little whore’s heart broken and says, “I think you just did.” Manny should have known that she’s just the side bitch.

At the Degrassi, all the kids are getting ready for their big holiday around the world pageant they’re having. Ashley and Craig are rehearsing a really lame emo Christmas song that the talentless Ashley probably wrote. Manny passes by and her hatred is so high that her glare cause’s the string on Craig’s guitar to break.

manny

We then cut to Caitlin’s office at the local Degrassi TV station and we see that Sidney has decided to pay her a little visit by bringing her flowers. This Don Juan looking guy pops in to tell her that they’re waiting for her at a meeting. Sidney goes on to say that he’s pure beefcake, but Caitlin points out that he’s gay and proud. Besides, she hasn’t been with anyone since she broke things off with the Hollywood wannabe jerkoff from the very first episode. Sidney cuts to the chase and asks Caitlin if she would babysit Angela for Joey since they’re going to a date that night.

Oh my God! In class Jimmy is reading from A Christmas Carol and he’s doing a horrible English accent. It’s so bad, it’s hilarious. Craig asks the teacher if he can go pee due to boredom. But it’s really because he just saw Manny passing by in the hallway. As soon as she see’s him she starts to cry her harlot’s eyes out and makes an ugly badger face. Manny basically says that she’s much better for him because she loves him more than Ashley ever could. Well at least Manny puts out, Ashley doesn’t even give him head.

manny-crying

Oh lord, once again we see Caitlin give someone horrible life advice. If only people knew that Caitlin is terrible with making life choices. Craig then makes the mistake of asking her what she would do in his situation. She goes on to say that love isn’t about luck, that it’s about being with the right person. So from that Craig decides that he’s in love with the Asian persuasion Manny. Back at the ice rink Craig comes in all out of breath and spots Manny skating around in very tight fucking jeans. He calls out to her and he tells her that he made a huge mistake and that she’s the only one that he wants. Manny being stupid get’s all happy and starts to dry hump him right then and there.

craig-manny

After that we cut back to Joey complaining to Sidney that he had nothing in common with her white collar friends because he’s a big loser who’s way out of her league. Sidney’s talking about God knows what but Joey’s not paying attention. He spots Caitlin and Angela sleeping on the couch so he decides to take a picture of the moment. Sidney meanwhile is annoyed because she constantly demands his full attention and you can tell that she doesn’t like Caitlin. Especially since Caitlin let Angela wear her pageant dress and got it dirty. Damn woman, it’s not that big a deal! Just wash that shit and it’ll be as good as new. Caitlin leaves because she knows that she fucked up, but Joey follows her outside to say that it’s really not a big deal and that Sidney doesn’t hate her. But clearly she does. At that they start to kiss because why not.

caitlin-joey

At Ashley’s, Toby the toad let’s Craig in and wishes him a happy Hanukkah. Craig is there to finally break things off with the boring prude. But before he can say anything, she gives him his Christmas gift which is an ugly old guitar that looks like it has a hubcap on it that belonged to her grandfather. Making things worse, she says that he’s had such a horrible year and that he deserves it. Craig blown away by the gesture now changes his mind and just tells Ashley that he loves her.

ashley-craig

Back at Degrassi, Craig is trying to sound like a blue’s man and is playing all sorts of riff’s on the guitar. Manny passes by and she’s super pissed that he’s still with Ashley. She pulls him aside and asks him what the fuck is going on since he’s supposed to be all in love with her. Craig tries to bullshit his way past this and tells her that he did break up with her, but he just didn’t tell her about him porking Manny on a regular basis. He goes on to say that he doesn’t want to break Ashley’s heart until after the pageant. The episode ends with it saying “to be continued” and Manny again being incredibly gullible and believing him.

craig-manny-end-credits

Now, I’m someone who enjoy’s Christmas episodes. I know, I know. But this one was a little meh. Sidney is an annoying character and I just knew that there would have been drama in this episode. So Degrassi didn’t disappoint there. Caitlin I’ve noticed is acting a bit out of character. I’ve never remembered her acting like a nervous klutz before. I do have to point out that they’re recycling the story line from the School’s Out movie from Degrassi High. I guess they figured that today’s kids have never seen it, so they just said fuck it. Here’s hoping that part two is better.