Ah here we go with what I think of as the real first episode of the series since the first two was basically a Degrassi Junior High reunion. Let’s see what these young ruffians get into this time.
Pre-credit opener: Ashley is talking to God knows who on the phone going on about it being the best year ever. Even though school hasn’t even started yet. Oh it’s her friend Terri and Ashley insists that they need to find her a boyfriend. Apparently Ashley is going to be running for student council president. And Jesus! Really Degrassi writers? You’ve chosen this for your first day of school episode? I’m getting flash backs of Stephanie Kay going through the same plans. Anyways, she want’s to take a shower but her step brother Milhouse look alike Toby is in the can flossing. She starts to bitch him out about not being an asshole and to get his ass out. But of course he can’t help himself. He comes out wearing her training bra, squeezing his own titties and Ashley screams, “MOM!!” Yeah, already I’m annoyed.
Finally it’s the first day of school and all the local Degrassi kids are starting to gather. JT and Toby come along and Toby is bitching to him about Ashley being a big cooze to him. Toby figures that just because he and his dad moved into Ashley’s mom’s house, that doesn’t give her the right to treat him like the sub human nerd that he actually is. Toby asks JT if he’s ready for the first day of Junior High and JT’s all, “What do you think?” And the new duo of YIck and Arthur make their way into the school.
Inside the school Ashley and her friend Terri are putting up posters. Actually Terri is, Ashley is just going on and on about how much she fucking hates Toby’s guts. They’re interrupted by Paige. The new Stephanie Kaye, and I say that because she says, “New year, new look, new Paige.” So yeah, her new look is to look like a big ho. But she’s not nearly as trashy as Stephanie Kaye was. She must be turning around in her grave. Yeah, that’s right, I’m assuming that Stephanie is dead. Anyways her ass must look really great in those tight jeans because this dork with a backwards cap runs into some lockers while staring at it.
Emma and Manny finally walk into Degrassi and resident bully Spinner steps on a paper that they dropped saying, “Hall pass.” I’m sure glad that Degrassi is keeping up with the stupid nick names in the next generation. Anyways, he and Drake (Jimmy) just show that they’re fucking with them since they’re new.
All the 7th graders meet up and Snake is their home room teacher. Seems like he’s the computer teacher and they all chose their own seats for the time being. Apparently Snake teaches a class called Media Immersion. Whatever the fuck that means. Anyways, he tries to act like he’s the cool teacher, but he’s obviously still a giant dork. Literally, a giant dork.
In the 8th grade class Asian teacher Mrs Kwan is greeting her students as well. She spots Spinner and is instantly annoyed with him. Asking him if she has to give him another 14 detentions that year. But that doesn’t sound like a whole lot. If he was constantly an asshole like he’s portrayed, he’d be in there at least once a week. All he says is, “Not if you don’t want to.” And Jimmy laughs his ass off like it’s the funniest shit ever. Mrs Kwan wants all the students to become involved in the school and that’s when Paige announces that she wants to start a spirit squad at the school. Even though most Junior Highs don’t have one. I know mine didn’t.
Class is dismissed and the grade 7’s seen Ashley’s poster and Emma asks Toby if that’s his step sister. Right away Toby starts to bad mouth her and mentions how much she hates him. Glad he’s aware of it. But he’s trying to rile someone up to run against her. Why, because he’s a fuck head that’s why.
Right away Toby wants JT to run a joke campaign against Ashley. But JT doesn’t want to since it’s his first day at Degrassi. Toby then manipulates JT’s dumbass into running against her by saying that it’ll just be a great time to practice his stand up. Oh lord. I’m already bored and annoyed by Toby. I can tell, he’s my new Arthur. Anyways, JT agrees to do Toby’s bidding.
Ashley is ordering Terri around by fixing one of her campaign posters. You know, I just noticed how professional those posters look, It has a full color picture of her and everything. No kid would do that. Especially in Junior High. She’s interrupted by buck toothed token black chick Liberty. She tells Ashley that she’s running for student treasurer and already wants to talk policies. What a fucking nerd. But Ashley can’t hide her disgust with her and tells her that they’ll talk later. Apparently Drake and Ashley are an item and he leads her away.
In what I’m assuming is the library Toby is making copies of JT’s campaign poster and Snake comes along and tells him that it looks great, but that it’s 10 cents a copy. Right away Toby tries to hit stop. But that’s actually not that bad. I guess Toby is just a cheap bastard. Ashley and Teri come along with Ashley boring her to death about her stupid ass campaign and they run into Toby putting up his fliers. She instantly get’s pissed off and points out how annoying JT is.
The scene abruptly changes and some kid who I swear sounds like fucking Steve Urkle comes along with a camera and asks JT why he wants to run for president. JT actually says nothing, Toby speaks some nonsense for him because JT is a giant idiot. Funny how Toby made what he’s saying seem how like back in the day when Wrestlers would talk about whatever story line was going on, he’s just going off to the camera. I think he channeled the Ultimate Warrior there. But the big difference is that Toby is a puny geek. Liberty is then seen on camera telling the audience that she wouldn’t want a grade 7 being president because you know what, who gives a fuck.
JT is standing on his soap box talking about being president. Ashley is surprised that people are actually paying attention to him. Terri tells her that he’s actually pretty funny. Terri then asks her if she’s worried about him. Ashley clearly is, but she tries to brush it off.
Next we see Ashley and Terri doing their campaign promises and it’s the usual nerd bullshit but it’s updated for the 21st century. With such diddy’s as more representation on the school board and a recycling program. Ashley then promises a night dance. On the other side of the parking lot I guess it is, JT is promising people that the staff bath rooms will be their’s. But they should realize that the president doesn’t really have any powers where they can change the school and it’s policies. They can’t do jack shit really. JT notices that people are buying his bullshit and Toby can’t help giving Ashley an ugly shit eating grin.
Back at their house Ashley calls him a little shit and asks him why he’s fucking with her for. Toby of course is a big dick and tells her why should she automatically become president of the school with no opposition. Ashley counters by saying that JT is a huge fucking idiot and he doesn’t know jack shit about the school. Ashley’s mom then comes in and tells her to back her shit off. Right away she accuses her mom of playing favorites and taking his side. Toby lies his ass off and tells her mom that he’s only helping his friend run. Ashley says that he’s only doing it to be a fucking spiteful little asshole. And of course her mom believes him and backs him up. It’s infuriating just writing about it. You know what I noticed about this scene? I hate to go there but why does Ashley need a training bra for? She’s busty as hell for a 14 year old and clearly doesn’t need one. It’s probably Toby’s because he’s actually getting a pair of tits of his own there.
Finally it’s election day and Toby just took a big smelly shit and comes out of the can saying, “Today’s the big day. Written your defeat speech yet?” Ashley just tells him to fuck off and that JT doesn’t have chance in hell of winning.
Urkle then interviews Paige and she starts to go off on Ashley by saying how perfect she is and that she always get’s what she wants. Paige of course is a hater to the 10th power. She then busts out her J Lo style sun glasses and starts to talk about her stupid looking purse. That’s when Urkle decides to make a run for it, Paige yelling after him asking where he’s running to.
In the “Media Immersion” class Toby is going through a poll that says that JT is pretty much neck and neck with Ashley. Shit actually he’s beating her. JT is starting to sweat it because he’s just a big fuck up and no way would he want that shitty job.
Liberty gives another boring interview where she talks about if she get’s elected. But she will because no one gives two fucks about that position. Thankfully we cut to JT being carried off by Ashley’s thugs, Spinner and Jimmy. They drag him into some locker room and Ashley is totally acting like Richard Nixon acting shady as hell. But in her white bread world she offers him 50 bucks to quit the race for school president. He some how manages to get the price to 80 dollars. Shit, her mom must make some serious money because when I was that age I was lucky to get five dollars. She then tells him with that price she wants him to make an ass of himself in front of the whole school. JT having no dignity or self respect heartily agrees to it.
Emma and Manny come walking by talking about avoiding Spinner and that’s when that chubby asshole hits Manny with a spit ball. Manny for some reason starts to cry like a little baby with a skinned knee. Terri calls out Spinner for making her cry and he actually feels bad for being an asshole and just leaves. Manny just stops crying and explains that fake crying always works on her brother.
Toby meanwhile stops JT and says, “She bribed you?!” But wait, how the hell would he know that information? Plot hole Degrassi writers. But JT admits it because he doesn’t care about the stupid election and points out that Toby is just doing all that just to be a fucking cock with Ashley.
We then cut to Liberty boring everyone to death with her speech about being student secretary. After she finishes it’s finally time for the school president speeches and JT is up first. Of course he can’t help being corny and obnoxious as hell. All of a sudden Toby appears looking like a little troll that lives under a bridge and he calls Ashley over. Funny how she just leaves the stage in the middle of all that to go out to the hall way to talk.
She asks him what the hell he wants and he tells her that he knows that she bribed JT. He totally threatens to expose her and she’s had enough and you know so have I. Toby is annoying as fuck. They both go on about how much they hate each other’s guts. She goes on to point out how he’s such a fucking asshole that he just wants to ruin her for no good reason. Back inside, JT finishes his speech and then all of a sudden he just quits the race. Mr Raditch then calls Ashley up and tells JT that they’ll talk later. JT’s probably going to get his asshole ripped by Raditch just like Yick used to.
Seems like it’s after school and Ashley and Jimmy are celebrating her landslide victory. Drake being a big kiss ass calls her Ms President and promptly leaves. This is the time that Ashley decides to have a heart to heart talk with her toad of a step brother Toby. But she can’t help being bitchy herself. She says, “So is this what defeat looks like or just guilt?” Toby congratulates her and she just says, “Yeah, whatever.” Man what’s her problem? She got what she wanted already. But Toby tells her that he means it and that she deserves to win. He tells her that it’s his fault that JT got in trouble for the joke campaign. They start to talk about how much they hate each other’s guts and they decide that since they’ll be living together they have to get along for everyone’s sake. Namely mine because this episode was annoying as fuck!!
I gotta say, this episode was bad. I didn’t care about Ashley and her stupid election and Toby was just irritating as hell. He definitely deserved to be murdered for being such a treacherous little shit. Hopefully the next episode will be a huge improvement. But at least we were introduced to most of the new main characters.