Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama. New reviews at least once a week. Hopefully. But if I feel like it I might make two to three reviews a week. So it'll depend.

Season 2, Episode 1, “When Doves Cry Part 1”

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So yes, welcome to the 2nd season of Degrassi the Next Generation. This one has been expanded to 22 episodes because the creators of this show wanted to torture me for as long as possible.

Pre-credit opener: Emma’s playing around with Angela Jeremiah who you’ll remember is Joey’s daughter. We then see that some creep is taking pictures of her. Turns out that it’s new kid at Degrassi Craig Manning. Joey seems to spot him and that’s when he disappears. He comes home to his dad who looks like Louis Skolnick from The Revenge of the Nerds. But he’s not a harmless dork like Louis was. Apparently Craig’s dad is an angry abusive son of a bitch. We clearly find that out within 30 seconds of meeting him. He acts like he’s cool that Craig is late at first, but then he throws his dinner on the floor like some spoiled kid and then has the nerve to tell Craig to clean it up. Craig is clearly terrified of this asshole.

Emma, Angela Craig Manning

We get some new additions to the opening credits with Craig and Joey now being in it. Joey clearly had nothing better to do and decided to be in Degrassi again. Finally it’s the first day of school and we see Toby and JT quickly explaining that Degrassi has added more students because of what? Over population? Come on! We got the same bullshit plot device in Degrassi Junior High. Not too original or creative Degrassi writers? Anyways, Toby right away makes himself look like the class dipshit with that webcam he’s carrying around.

Craig’s dad drops him off and Craig is trying way too hard to please him. You can tell that they’re trying to make it that his thing is being a photographer. But what kind of asshole brings a camera and film to school like that? No one that’s who. Emma and Manny see him and we can tell that Emma looks a bit older and not so googly eyed this time around. (Miriam McDonald who played Emma said on her Instagram that she had an eating disorder during the first season of the show, so no wonder she looked too skinny.) Both of them are lusting after Craig.

Craig, Dropped Off Manny, Emma

We come upon Jimmy and Spinner and wow Spinner has lost most of the baby fat he had in the first season. He’s complaining to Jimmy that they’ll be stuck there at lame Degrassi Community School for four more years. I guess the producers didn’t want to pay for another set or use another school. Cheap bastards. Craig runs into Sean and of course Sean get’s all annoyed but decides to befriend him because all of the girls apparently think that Craig is hot shit. But when I was a kid their age, I don’t remember girls being that damn aggressive. And yeah, Jimmy is still pissed off at Sean for the events that happened the previous season.

Jimmy, Spinner

In Mrs Kwan’s class, Mrs Kwan is further explaining that they closed down the high school and they’re not prepared for the over crowding that’s going on. I love how there’s not even any plans to build another one. But that’s our plot device to keep the whole cast together! Sean walks in late and already makes a bad first impression with Mrs Kwan. She tells everyone that they may have to share lockers. This is going to make for another annoying plot involving JT and Toby.

In Snake’s class, Snake is also explaining everything to the 9th graders. He wakes up Craig because he was sleeping in class and Craig proceeds to make an ass out of himself in front of everyone. See what did I tell you? JT and Toby have volunteered to share lockers. Emma points out that things are not going to end well between them because of it. And why the hell does Manny have huge boxing gloves on? Anyways, they start argueing already about who get’s the top shelf.

Manny, Liberty, JT, Emma, Toby

We then cut to Paige telling Hazel and Terri that she’s pissed off because she has a mullet. No she doesn’t. They just made her hair look really ugly and really doesn’t even come close to resembling a mullet. Anyways, they ask her what a mullet is and she points out two trailer park looking guys that have Joe Dirt style mullets. She’s ranting about her parents wanting her to clean out the garage so that she can get the money to get it fixed. She mentions child labor and Craig being stupid says that child labor is illegal. All three of the girls are all, “What the hell was that all about?”

Hazel, Paige, Terri

Shit, I’m barely 5 minutes in and I’ve already written 716 words. Ashley then comes along asking them how their Summer was but Paige is of course a bitch and is still holding a grudge from when Ashley called her a hag due to being high as fuck on Ecstasy. Terri just tells her to give Paige time.

Terri. Ashley

At some day care Angela spots Craig taking her picture again and I love how Craig doesn’t even try to not get noticed. Seems that Angela and Craig are half brother and sister. Their mother being Joey’s wife who died. She asks him if he wants to go to the local bone yard to see her grave but he declines and tells her not to tell Joey about him because he knows that his dad will total his ass if he finds out he was talking to her.

Milhouse, I mean Toby is telling JT about some system that he invented that pairs off students at the school due to many factors. JT has a huge hard on for Paige but they’re about a zero percent match because Paige is clearly way too hot for the likes of him. But he sure is a good match for Terri, even though I doubt she would go out with a little pipsqueak like JT. Snake wants to go home to wack off but he can’t because JT and Toby are busy with their nerd love date app. JT then vows to get a date with Paige.

Paige

At the cemetery Joey and Angela are leaving some flowers. Stupid Angela let’s it slip that she’s been talking to Craig and that’s when Joey finally notices Craig acting like the Tall Man from Phantasm just hanging out behind one of the tombstones being a creep and taking their picture. Joey calls him over, but that’s when Craig haul’s ass.

Craig, Taking Pics

HAHA! It’s hilarious, Craig photoshopped his pic onto theirs and you can tell that he’s fantasizing being in a family with Joey and Angela. Who can blame him though with having a prick for a dad. Speaking of, his dad comes home and Craig goes down stairs for dinner before his dad loses his goddamn temper again. Craig is all excited because they’re having roast beef and then makes the mistake of bringing up his mom. His dad instantly get’s pissed and looks at him with murder in his eyes. His dad then brings up the fact that stupid Joey called him up, but he just left a message. His dad is clearly super pissed that his wife would leave him for a loser like Joey. I gotta say, I would be upset too. Craig reassures him that he’s not going anywhere because he’s not like his mom.

Joey, Angela, Craig Craig's Dad, Craig

UGH! We go to the stupid B plot and JT decides to go for it and ask Paige out. He offers to carry her backpack and says that her wish is his command. Predictably she tells him to fuck off and even points out how gay they both seem because she says, “Go back to your girlfriend over there and leave me alone.”

Mrs Kwan is going through some exercise with her class and they all have to talk about themselves. Another thing that I’ve hated about school. I would always make up a bullshit lie. Craig get’s called and he’s wearing a Viking helmet for some insane reason. He starts talking about himself while mixing in some physics and brings up that fact that in the universe he’s nothing and wouldn’t be missed if he were to disappear. Clearly he’s in a lot of pain because of his dickhead dad treating him like complete shit.

Craig, Viking Helmet

In the Media Immersion class Emma and Manny are talking about Craig and their giant crush they have on him. He walks in and reminds Emma that they actually met before at Joey and his mom’s wedding. How Emma didn’t remember him is beyond me. She snaps out of her infatuation with him and she invites him over because she’ll be babysitting Angela and Spike is having a big party. After he leaves they both squeal with delight.

At Joey’s used car lot Craig’s dad interrupts Joey trying to rip off an east Indian couple. Joey brings up Craig and the fact that Angela and him are brother and sister and they should spend time together. Mr Skolnick though doesn’t want to hear it. Before he leaves stupid Joey throws Craig under the bus by saying that Craig has been seeing her behind his back.

Joey, Craig's Dad

Back to the studio back lot that looks like a neighborhood, JT once more asks Paige out for a date. I gotta give it to him. He sure has some balls asking her out in front of that asshole Spinner and Hazel. Again, they all just laugh at him and Spinner calls him a nob. Whatever the fuck that is. Spinner and Hazel then bet her to go on a date with him, so yeah, she’s doing it to fix her hair.

Spinner, Paige, JT, Hazel

At Spike’s house the big party is going on, but there’s barely like 5 people there. Oh look who it is, Yick is hanging out with them even though he barely interacted with them in the original series. Joey comes along and Craig get’s all nervous. Snake mentions that Joey had a date with a Playboy model. (Yeah Right!) But it turns out that she was old as fuck, so Joey would rather be at Spike’s birthday party instead. So wow, seems like Snake and Spike have become an item now, but we’ll deal with their bullshit relationship at a later episode. Joey tries to talk to Craig and the situation that’s going on. Joey tells him that he’s cool about Angela and him hanging out, but his dad is the one who has a huge problem with it because he’s filled with hate. That’s when Craig leaves in a huff because he knows that he’s in deep shit now because his dad now knows that he was seeing his sister.

Spike, Snake, Yick Craig, Emma, Joey

Outside his house Craig is looking at it like he’s prepared to go and meet his maker. He walks in and his dad is just sitting there at the table all silent and fuming. Ok we know that this is not a good sign. Craig goes to his dark room and see’s that it’s completely trashed. He comes down and tells him, “Are you looking for something?” And that’s when we see that he has Craig’s “The Perfect Family” album. Louis Skolnick then hulks out and completely annihilates Craig’s ass by literally saying, “I work my ass off for you. What do I get in return? I get lies!” He goes on to stomp the shit out of him and that’s when the episode ends with a shot of Craig’s shattered Camera and him crying out loud, “So this is what it feels like when doves cry!”

Craig's Dad, Craig, Beat Down Craig, Beat Up To Be Continued

So goddamn. That was a pretty intense first episode to the second season. I liked it, but Jesus enough with Toby and JT!! But we’re not done with this one yet. We continue this story line with Craig Gets His Ass Kicked 2: Electric Boogaloo.

In the second season of Degrassi we get to explore abuse of course. Depression, Rape, Eating Disorders, Death of parents, Hate crimes and Homosexuality. I gotta say, at one point in the series it seems like the entire school has become gay. There’s literally barely even any straight students. Would I say that Degrassi has an agenda with that? You betcha. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but they’re so obvious with it.

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Author: Degrassi TNG Guy

Well what's there to know. I got bored after finished Degrassi Junior High Reviewed, so I thought, why not do The Next Generation. Even though I vowed that I wouldn't. Well hope you guys enjoy these reviews as well. I definitely see this as the companion series to DJHR.

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