This one is such a recycled plot of an old Degrassi Junior High episode that it’s ridiculous.
Pre-credit opener: We come upon Joey in his lousy used car lot trying to rip off even more people with the shitty inventory he has on stock. Craig having nothing to do talks some old man into checking out some car. Joey loving that he got the old fool to stay gives Craig the key’s to a car and tells him to move it ten feet away so that he can wash it because some moron bought it. Craig is way too excited about it.
Craig comes down the stairs and we can hear Joey talking to his milf of a mom. Or maybe by now she’s a Gilf, too bad she never made an appearance on the show. He fills Craig in that he’s going away for the weekend to bang some skank while Angela is going to be staying with his mom. Craig wonders where he’s going to be, he sounds a bit nervous like Joey is going to ship him back to his dad’s for another beating. But Joey tells him that he trusts him so he’ll get to stay home by himself and can even invite some friends over but no parties, no drinking or girls allowed. So it sounds like a boring weekend for Craig, but he’s all excited of the prospects of Joey leaving.
Back at Degrassi Jimmy is telling Spinner and Marco all about his dad trying to get concert tickets to some character named Kid Elrick. Whoever the fuck he is. Anyways, I love how Marco is now hanging out with them like he’s always been there since the beginning. Spinner asks Marco if his mom has any connections since she’s in the music biz. Marco can’t believe how stupid he is and points out that she’s just a piano teacher. Craig comes along and they tell him about the concert being sold out. He tells them all about Joey leaving and that they can come over. They all get excited but Jimmy backs out of it because Sean is coming along too.
The next scene is setting up the B plot and it involves Ashley and Ellie. Ashley has now cut her hair short, but not as short as she’s going to have it. You can tell this new goth make over is because she wants to be more like Ellie. Ashley wants to go to some lame sounding horror movie but Ellie tells her that she can’t since she’s getting her ears pierced. But she says, “I can’t I’m getting my cartilage pierced.” Seriously don’t turn into fucking Dawson’s Creek Degrassi with the big unnecessary words. Besides, who talks like that? Moving on Ashley again copying Ellie wonders about getting her belly pierced too.
In Mrs Kwan’s room the dudes are bored to fucking death and Craig can’t wait to get out to start his boring weekend of hanging out with the bros. As soon as the bell rings the guys get together and run straight to Joey’s house. They see Joey outside of his studio back lot house and he tells him, “What’s this? I go away for a weekend and you invite the whole school?” But he’s just fucking with them and gives them a bunch of junk food that probably won’t even last the night. Some hot piece of Persian looking ass comes out and they all know that Joey is going to be fucking his brains out that night. Even though she’s way too hot for the likes of him. Stop trying to make him into a ladies man Degrassi, because he never was one.
Ellie and Ashley go into Ellie’s cousin’s Attila’s tattoo and piercing shop. Ellie starts to get her ear pierced and Ashley get’s all disgusted at it. She asks him if he’ll be using the same type of needle for her and he tells her that he’ll be suing a dong sized one for her. She instantly freaks out and you can tell that she really doesn’t want to do it, but she says that she does. He then tells her that she needs to get a permission slip signed by her mom in order to get it done. Ashley already all defeated tells them that no way is her mom going to allow that to happen.
Over at Joey’s the dudes are clearly bored out of their minds and are just playing cards. Craig points out how boring it is and Spinner suggests that they call Jimmy. Sean says, “Why, do you miss your girlfriend?” They start to argue telling each other to shut up while Craig finally tells them both to shut the fuck up. Spinner asks the guys if they wanna live life on the edge and they all go with him all excited by these words. But of course it’s something lame as hell and his big idea is to get a bunch of spray cheese and have a contest to see who can down the most of it. Predictably the guys are extremely disappointed at Spinner’s stupid bullshit game.
Over at Ashley’s house Ashley along with Ellie tells her mom that she was thinking of getting her belly button pierced and gives her mom the permission slip. Her mom makes a face while reading it and Ashley already is telling Ellie that she knew her mom wasn’t going to let her. Her mom get’s all annoyed with her and asks her if she wants her permission or not. She’s just to clean it every day for the first couple of weeks.
At Joey’s, Spinner is still playing his stupid spray cheese game while the bros are clearly not even into it. Marco then comes up with a dare for Sean to do, he picks up a phone so that he can crank call someone. While Marco is calling up a number Spinner runs to the bathroom because he now has the shits thanks to the cheese. Marco is clearly fucking with Sean because he called Emma’s house and Sean pretends to get pissed off at him and they wrestle for a bit.
Oh lord, now I’m getting bored just looking at them being bored. They go outside and sit on the stoop listening to the radio while Craig starts rambling about life in general. Oh, now he starts to rant about his dad and how he would never have let him have any of them over. But with Joey he has unlimited freedom and he’s loving it. He mentions that he drove, but he only moved the car to the other side of Joey’s very small car lot. Spinner and the rest are all amazed that Joey let him do that. Spinner then get’s the bright idea of taking the car for a spin because he knows that Craig knows where Joey keeps the keys to the dealership. He get’s mad peer pressure and he agrees to go and take a shitty car for a spin the next day. Boy, does this sound familiar or what?
Suddenly it’s the next morning and Craig is already awake and grabs the key to the lot. Spinner and the rest wake up and you can tell that Craig is having second thoughts about it but he goes along with it again. They open the gate to the lot and sneak into Joey’s office to get a key for his prized Gremlin that he has in stock. The phone rings and Marco get’s way too scared and yells out, scaring everyone else. Craig has no idea what to do. Spinner tells him to answer it, but Sean calls Spinner an idiot and points out that they’re not supposed to be there.
They get into a shitty 80’s era car and Spinner asks him why they’re taking that piece of shit out of all the other piece’s of shit that Joey has there and Craig tells him because he knows how to drive it. (No he doesn’t.) Marco is the only one in the group acting like a big puss and Sean tells him to relax saying that they’re only going to take it around the block a couple of times. At least no one had to go to an eye appointment in this one. This is purely a joy ride here. Craig tells the guys, “Now we ride like the wind.” And they go all excited out of the lot.
Seems like Ellie spent the night with Ashley and Ashley’s mom asks her if they’re going to go get the piercing over with and that’s when Ellie invites her along to get it done too. Her mom points out that she’s old as shit and would look ridiculous. As they’re talking her mom is busy trimming her rose bush and Ashley is clearly freaking out about any sharp objects stabbing her at her gut.
Back to the joy ride Craig is driving like an old man and that’s when they hear on the radio that some DJ’s are going to be at a park giving away free Kid Elrick tickets if they can answer a question correctly. Spinner and Sean point out with the car they can make it to the park before a bunch of people get there if they haul ass. So of course Craig puts the car into warp speed and off they go to the park.
At Attila’s shop Ashley is ready to get her belly pierced and the guy is telling her step by step what he’s doing and how he’s going to do it. Just as he’s about to pierce her, she can’t take it anymore and tells them both that she can’t do it.
The guys finally get to the park and some DJ chick is asking some kid who Kid Elrick’s wife’s name is. The kid has no idea who it is so he’s fucked. The guys come all out of breath and she asks him the same question. Craig tells her that it’s a trick question because Kid Elrick is divorced. Predictably they win the tickets and they can’t believe their good fortune. As they’re heading back to the car lot Spinner fucking beef’s and you can tell that it smells like death in there. Some cop car then pulls up next to them and they’re instantly scared as shit, but they get relieved once they turn on their sirens and take off on a call.
Trying to be all sneaky Craig puts the car exactly where it was and they’re celebrating that they actually got away with it. But that’s when Joey comes out of his trailer/office and he starts to rip them all new assholes. He mentions that he has a silent alarm and then tells Sean, Spinner and Marco to get the hell out of his shitty car lot.
We get back to Ashley’s lame story and she’s bummed because she completely humiliated herself in front of everyone. See I told you she was only trying to do it because she wants to be like Ellie and impress her. But Ellie tells her that she doesn’t need to be impressed and they’re friends, blah, blah. You get the point.
At Joey’s, Joey is all of a sudden trying to act like an adult and starts to give Craig shit about sneaking into his car lot and stealing a car. The whole time I’m watching this I can’t help but think, motherfucker you and your friends did the exact same thing. I’m seriously surprised that he didn’t get a big flash back, especially that Snake ratted him and Wheels out. Moving on. Craig get’s up and Joey tells him to sit his ass down. Craig’s all, “You’re not my dad.” Joey tells him to sit and Craig does it because he’s used to be yelled at by his real dad. Long story short, Joey grounds Craig for three weeks and then rips up the Kid Elrick concert tickets like an asshole. I seriously would have murdered Joey for ripping up four hard to find free concert tickets.
This episode was mostly meh. It was so recycled it made me sick. Way to be lazy and show no effort Degrassi writers. Ashley’s B plot was boring as hell and I could care less if she got pierced or not. Too bad Ellie was wasted in this episode.