Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.

Season 2, Episode 13, “White Wedding” Part 2

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So today is my brother’s wedding day and I thought that it would be a perfect time to publish part 2.

Pre-Credit Opener: I thought we were going to get a previously on Degrassi, but nope. We just dive right in with Emma giving Spike shit for even thinking of getting an abortion. Spike of course has to be a hard core feminist with her own daughter and says, “It’s a Woman’s choice!” Emma counters with, “What about the baby’s choice?” Spike being Spike tells Emma that she’s not going to debate the matter with her. I love how no one else, including Snake has a say in this. Emma throws in her face that if she would have had an abortion the first time she wouldn’t be there nagging her in the present time. In the heat of the argument Spike basically says that having Emma was a huge mistake. She tries to take it back but Emma is like fuck you and slams the door shut.

Spike, Emma

Oh lord. We come back to JT and Toby dressed up like a couple of assholes. JT looks more like a Raccoon in that get up. Their big plan is for them to put a web cam to Joey’s window. I love how they’re going through all the trouble just to see a topless woman. They can just go online and see a chick having sex with a horse for free.

In Emma’s room, She and Manny are having a discussion about her future little brother or sister. Unless Spike has her way. She keeps bring up the fact that Snake doesn’t know jack shit on what’s going on and how unfair that is. Manny tells her not to interfere in the matter, but we all know that Emma can’t keep her big trap shut.

Manny, Emma

Finally the stripper arrives and she looks like she’s more from the Monday day shift of the gentlemen’s club. But to them, she’s hotter than a motherfucker. Joey with a raging hard on welcomes her in while sending Craig upstairs. Snakes see’s her walk in and immediately get’s all uncomfortable. He’s probably thinking that Spike is going to castrate him for this offense. While this is going on it turns out that JT and Toby have fallen asleep. I knew it was way past their bed times. Besides it’s not like they’re missing anything good.

Snake, Fancy

Back at Spike’s, Caitlin is trying to reassure her that Emma doesn’t hate her guts completely. At the moment, she does though, cause that was some fucked up shit that she told her. Spike says that Snake needs to know what’s going on, but Caitlin makes her wait until the morning of their wedding day. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Never listen to Caitlin for anything, cause she just makes matters worse.

Caitlin, Spike

And what did I tell you? It’s two in the morning and Emma decides that that’s the perfect time to sneak out of the house to go tell Snake that Spike is with child. As soon as she get’s to Joey’s house she steps on Toby’s hand waking them up while screaming. At that Joey and Snake come running outside and catch those two horny losers in his bushes. Joey being a big snitch tells the both of them that he’s calling their parents. But who gives a shit about that. Emma not respecting anyone’s privacy goes right on ahead and tells Snake about the baby and what Spike is planning. He actually acts like a male for once in his life and get’s pissed off. Yelling at Emma why Spike isn’t the one telling him this news.

The following morning it turns out that Snake has completely disappeared. Spike probably thinks that he’s running away to the U.S., but that’s when Snake comes in. He’s come out of his bunker in a fighting mood. So watch out! Right out of the gate he throws Emma under the bus and tells Spike that he’s super pissed that that’s how he should find out that she’s pregnant with his love child. But Spike not being used to Snake acting like a man tells him that they’re not going to talk about their bullshit there, so she walks out of the house with him following like an obedient lap dog.

Spike

Here’s a little scene that wasn’t seen on the N. Joey and Manny seem to be super bored and are inhaling Helium from the balloons. Right away he can’t fucking help being his usual corny self and he starts going into a rendition of Everybody Wants Something. I love how Manny points out how stupid the song is. Emma all in despair doesn’t want to get ready for the wedding. Manny tells her to stop acting like a big baby with a skinned knee and to just get dressed. Of course they get into a big argument with Manny throwing in her face that she should have stayed out of it like she told her to the night before. Emma walks away talking shit while Manny kicks Joey’s used car that I’m sure he’s borrowing off of his own car lot.

Caitlin, Manny, Emma

Taking a scenic walk outside downtown Toronto, Spike and Snake are still arguing over having a baby. Snake now starts to bring up the fact that their relationship has moved pretty fast and he’s beginning to wonder if staying friends is all they should be. But I don’t know how he can think that. She’s pregnant with his kid, so that means that they’re beyond the friends stage.

Emma being a life ruining idiot decides to take her circus over to Sean’s for some reason. Right away she starts out with how she ruined Spike and Snake’s relationship. I love how Sean flat out tells her that she interferes all the time and that everything is going to be fine. Clearing things up, she tells him that she’s sorry with how shitty she’s been treating him lately and she invites him again to the wedding. Tracker is a bit bummed though, cause they had their cool leather jackets out for a nice leisurely stroll through the Canadian tundra.

Sean, Emma

Outside the church, everyone is waiting for the bride and groom. I’m surprised that Joey isn’t wearing his famous tuxedo t shirt that he always likes to sport for special occasions. It must be said that Caitlin is looking mighty fine! JT and Toby seem to be ushers for the wedding and both are telling each other that they’ve been grounded until the end of time. Craig walks in with his stupid camera and tells these two losers that Fancy is in the house. Conveniently she’s there because Spike does her hair. That’s an idiotic reason, but ok, she’s in attendance. They both fight over who’s going to show her to her seat. But it turns out that Fancy has jungle fever and this black dude comes up and tells the both of those pecker woods to fuck off.

JT, Fancy, Toby

Emma comes up all dressed up and she’s disappointed to hear that Spike and Snake aren’t there yet. Caitlin takes this as an opportunity to show everyone how racist she is and she asks Lucy to fix Emma’s frizzy hair. Lucy not feeling offended at all takes Emma away to work on her fro.

Oh God! Spike and Snake are still debating the matter at the waterfront. Snake can’t believe that the pill didn’t work while they were busy boning. Spike points out to Snake that life doesn’t give a motherfuck whether you’re ready to have a kid or not. Shit just happens. Spike’s will is just too much for Snake to handle and they decide to get married and off they go to the church, late as hell.

The local Degrassi priest, the same one who exorcised the demons from Terri is telling the gang that if they’re not there in 15 minutes then they’re going to have to reschedule. But they come in just in the nick of time. In their street clothes and that’s how they get married! Even on their wedding day they’re annoying as hell.

Spike, Snake

I don’t know how they had the money to have a reception at the waterfront. You would have thought it would have been at the back lot, I mean Spike’s backyard. As they’re walking around doing the rounds Spike introduces Snake to Connie aka Fancy. Right away he get’s all nervous and being a fucking idiot, he tells Spike all about her being a stripper and being at his bachelor party the night before. I would say that Snake broke the bro code. But we all know he’s not anyone’s bro. He’s forever Spike’s bitch.

Fancy, Snake, Spike

One of the biggest cliche things that happen on TV weddings happens. Joey catch’s the bouquet. But he acts like a very gay man for some reason. We start to hear this unknown Canadian singer singing a groove and Caitlin takes the bouquet away from him and they start to dance. I’m surprised this didn’t bring up painful memories for the both of them. JT and Toby start to fight over dancing with Fancy. Until the black dude comes along and they cower away in fear.

Joey, Caitlin

We finally close up this episode with Emma spying Sean being all dark and brooding under a tree all far away from the festivities. You can tell he was looking for attention the way he was just standing there. Anyways, she walks up to him and he asks her for a dance. The both of them not being able to resist have a kiss. The slow mo after the kiss looked so funny it made me laugh my ass off because it was so damn cheesy.

Emma, Sean, End Credits

This was an ok episode. The JT, Toby subplot of course brought nothing to the story except to annoy the hell out of me. The bullshit drama between Spike and Snake was a bit much too. She’s bossy as hell and Snake is a huge bitch who needs a back bone transplant. But leave it to Degrassi to bring up the issue of abortion on a wedding episode.

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Author: Degrassi TNG Guy

Well what's there to know. I got bored after finished Degrassi Junior High Reviewed, so I thought, why not do The Next Generation. Even though I vowed that I wouldn't. Well hope you guys enjoy these reviews as well. I definitely see this as the companion series to DJHR.

2 thoughts on “Season 2, Episode 13, “White Wedding” Part 2

  1. Great review! I hope that your brother had a lovely day!

    Liked by 1 person

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