Pre-credit opener: We see the dudes playing a pick up game of basketball, shirts vs skins. Right off the bat we know that Marco is gay as hell because he can’t take his eyes off of Sean’s glistening body. Not that there’s nothing wrong with that. Sean catches him and says, “What’re you looking at fag?” The first time I saw this I was all, Whoa! Because this line of dialog was definitely censored when it aired on the N. I swear the N edited a lot of shit for us Americans. I guess they didn’t want to deal with any controversy. Anyways, Marco tries to play it off, but we all know better.
We come back to Marco and Ellie and you can tell that she has a major thing for him. She asks him if what she’s wearing is ok and he asks her since when does she care about what people think of what she’s wearing. She says that she only cares about what he thinks. Marco you can tell is panicking right away because he has zero interest in her except to be her friend. He spots Jimmy and Spinner and hauls ass. Ellie mentions to Ashley that she wants to go out with him, thus proving that Ellie has horrible gaydar.
In the MI lab, Snake is telling the students that that old schivosa Dr Sally is making a return to Degrassi. Ellie’s all, “Who the fuck is that?” And Snake lets her know that she’s an expert in all things sex and you can tell he’s really excited because Dr Sally can teach him a thing or 12 about it. (Going off for a bit, me and my girlfriend went to a diner just this weekend and the waitress looked just like her, but she wasn’t cool like Dr Sally was. This old crow was a bitch and didn’t deserve a damn tip at all because she was rude as hell. She even complained about having to check what kind of soup they had available. I was like, well that is part of your fucking job. My girlfriend is still laughing about it because I’m still fuming about it days later.) Anyways, Jimmy asks Snake why Dr Sally is coming again since they saw her last year. Snake just says that they always have something to learn about. Spinner takes that as an opportunity to say something homophobic and you can tell that it hit a nerve with Snake because of his gay, horse faced brother Glen and how he and his family disowned him when he came out to them in Degrassi Junior High. Check it out here:
Wow, we get to Dr Sally right away and she busts out a bunch of condoms like she’s making it rain with money, except it’s condoms. She tells the class, “If you can’t be careful, name it after me.” She goes onto the subject of straight and same sex sex. Spinner and Jimmy are curious about what makes a gay dude get really horny and Dr Sally basically says that a big, meaty dick will do the trick for them. Paige jumps into the convo and says that she has an older brother who’s gay and he claims that he was born that way, that he always knew. Dr Sally tells her that some people think that and other’s think that it’s genetic. During all this Marco is conflicted as hell. Especially when Terri says that being gay is a sin, and Dr Sally says that the greater sin is to not be yourself.
Because this show hates me, we cut to the B plot and it involves Toby smothering his Jackie Chan looking girlfriend, Kendra. He completely humiliates her by standing outside of Snake’s class like Micheal Myers and then he starts to make a kissy face. Snake get’s so disgusted he shuts the blinds to spare the rest of the class the plague that is Toby. Kendra just can’t help making this retarded looking face.
Class is dismissed and Ellie walks up to Dr Sally and asks her advice about how she can bag Marco. Dr Sally gives her sound advice, but if she only knew that Marco only craves the man cock. Spinner being Spinner calls Marco Marcy and gives him some fem care. This causes Marco to get all pissed off and says, “I hate fags ok, what they do makes me sick.” But then he tells Spinner to cut his shit out already or else he’s going to bend him over and send him home with a, I just pumped the neighbor’s cat look on his face.
Outside Toby is making an ass of himself with Kendra and she tells him that maybe he should cool it because she got in trouble with Snake. Toby mentions that he got in trouble too because he was caught jerking off in the girls restroom. He then shows his stalker, possessive side by telling her that he made a schedule for her in the guise of helping her out with her grades. Her body language is apparent and who can blame her? I noticed that he’s always up in her face. She get’s so creeped out by him she tells him to stop and leaves in a huff. Milhouse is really confused because he has no idea how to handle a woman.
Ok, since when is Snake a damn expert on film and techniques? Because he’s telling the class about noticing the directors technique in a commercial or whatever. I thought he was just a computer geek. But then again, the class is called Media Immersion. What a bullshit class if you ask me. Seems like school is out for the day and Marco waits for everyone to leave so that he can check out a gay website to confirm that he’s gay and proud. It’s short lived though because Spinner and Drake come along and ask him if he wants to go walking home with them. After clicking the hell out of the mouse to get out of the site, he tells them no.
Out on some bench Ellie finally get’s the nerve to talk about whether they’re just friends or not. Marco still fighting the gayness within him tells her that they should go out on a date since they like each other alot. Ellie is clearly happy, but you can tell that Marco is like GOB in Arrested Development and is saying in his head, “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
It’s finally date time and things couldn’t be more awkward. Marco holds her hand and she instantly get’s happy, but Marco not feeling it fakes a sneeze and Ellie again instantly get’s disappointed. It’s a new day and Ashley is telling Terri that Jimmy is coming over for a project and she’s nervous because it’s the first time that he’s back at her house after she called him out for being lame square and cheating on him with Sean. Ashley finds Ellie and she makes it all obvious that she had a horrible date with Marco, even though she has fun being with him. Ellie is afraid that he doesn’t like her more than a friend and that’s when Ashley says that maybe he’s not into any females. At that Ellie get’s all pissed off at her and basically tries to call Ashley a homophobe. But it’s pretty obvious that Marco likes the man meat.
At Kendra’s locker, Toby is decorating the hell out of it like a prissy school girl. Manny comes along and points out that he’s smothering her because she did the same mistake with Craig. He reasons that if she see’s that he’s willing to do anything for her, she’s bound to respect him. But of course Kendra get’s pissed off at the gesture, rips a heart in half, (which she basically did to his real one) and leaves for her next class. Milhouse is obviously left heartbroken. Manny can’t help being a shithead and says, “Told you.” And leaves all happy.
In the locker room, or the Playgirl mansion according to Marco, Spinner being a fuckhead still calls Marco Marcy again and this time Jimmy get’s annoyed with him because his bits are getting old fast. Marco bullshits all of them and tells all the dudes that he’s going out with Ellie. He lets on that something happened on their date, but of course he can’t think of anything plausible and they all figure out what a fucking liar he is.
Outside the school, Marco and his crew come along and he tries to lie to them, but mostly himself that he’s into Ellie. He goes over to her like he’s fucking Lord Byron and starts to mack with Ellie. I’m surprised he didn’t make gagging noises because he’s so not into her sexually. She’s clearly happier than she’s ever been in her miserable life. Poor Ellie, she doesn’t deserve that.
Kendra comes along and Toby can’t help acting like a bitch and tells her that she doesn’t like him anymore because he’s always up her ass.
Finally the Degrassi kids are at Ashley’s watching some sort of National Geographic bullshit. It was so boring that it put Spinner to sleep, until Ashley walks in with a couple of pizza pies. I just noticed that Toby isn’t around. She must have tied him up like an animal in the basement to avoid further embarrassment. The dudes start to dig in and Marco tells them, “Ladies first.” Spinner then tells him, “Well after you Marco.” Marco did walk into that one. One point to Spinner. Ellie get’s all annoyed at him and she invites him up to go to Ashley’s room. They all assume that they’re going up there to fool around. But if they only knew.
As soon as Marco walks into the room Ellie jumps his bones and starts to make out with him like crazy. She then asks him to sit on the bed and she obviously wants to get down to some old fashioned heavy petting, but Marco starts to cry and Ellie, heartbroken obviously knows that he’s gay. Finally Marco can’t take it anymore and confesses to her that he thinks that he might be batting for the other team, but he’s really confused.
At his locker Toby is taking down all of Kendra’s pictures because he’s so sure that she’s going to break up with his puny dweeb ass. Kendra comes along and basically tells him that she does like him, but that he just has to back his shit off for a bit and to let her have some free time away from him. I know I need some time away from Toby.
At Marco’s locker Jimmy and Spinner are totally fooled with Marco and Ellie. She tells the dudes that they should be totally jealous and gives Marco a smooch on the lips. Marco is doing his best not to look all disgusted. And at that, Ellie has decided to play along and has now become his beard. The episode ends with Ellie telling Marco that she can’t pretend forever, and neither can he. She mentions a gay youth group, but Marco tells her that he’s not ready for that shit yet, he has a plan and it involves gay twink porn. I think it’s a good idea. Just ease into it Marco.
I think this was a good episode. We clearly see the pain that Marco is going through, trying to come to terms with his sexuality. I can’t imagine a more awkward and painful time to realize something like that. Too bad Toby had to be thrown into the mix, but his story line was barely in the episode, so we all won that round. But this episode is only a small taste of what’s coming for the future of Degrassi. At this current season of the show, it’s homosexual high.