Right off the bat I’m just going to say that I fucking hate this episode. It’s so juvenile and ridiculous. Mrs Hot Body is featured through out, but not even she could save this stinker of an episode.
Pre-Credit Opener: Mrs Hot Body is talking about God knows what and JT is already annoying the shit out of me by acting like a stupid asshole. He starts to play with these skeleton elephant models and she comes up and tells him to stop acting like a jackass and that he now has detention with her, before and after school. He says ok and is happier than a pig a shit. He then burns a hole in her ass because he’s staring so hard. I have to say, I can’t blame him.
I wonder if they’re trying to pay tribute or if the writers are just hoping that kids won’t know that they just ripped off a shot from The Graduate. Anyways, Mrs Hot Body looks smoking hot in the little outfit she has on and JT being a walking hard on is happy to be all alone in her presence. He just can’t help staring at her tits and then he tries the old, you dropped your pen on the ground bit, but she’s not having it. Turns out JT’s job is to take care of a couple of Guinea Pigs.
In Snake’s class, Sean is all hard up for all the horny details on how it was like to be all alone with Mrs Big Tits. He must be extra hard up if he’s believing any of JT’s bullshit. Which includes her bending over to pick up his pen. Snake does the exact same thing and it’s very disturbing to watch.
We come to the B plot of this episode and it involves Spinner. He’s talking to Coach Armstrong about this really hard math problem and right away Armstrong wants to vomit due to Spinner’s nasty pits smelling like death. Spinner heads back to his seat and is just B.O. dusting everyone with his stench. Ashley asks Ellie if it’s Spinner who stinks and so Ellie takes it upon herself to tell him that he does indeed smell like sweaty balls. She’s all, “Rule number one of puberty, shower everyday.” If I was him I would have told her fuck you and then die of embarrassment.
Outside class, Spinner comes up to Jimmy and asks him if he really does stink and Jimmy confirms that he’s stunk all week long. At that Spinner get’s pissed off at him for not being honest and wants an honest pact between them. We come upon a scene where Toby tells Emma and Manny that JT’s new girlfriend is Mrs Hot Body, but of course they don’t believe him. My God, I am seriously hating this episode right now!
Thankfully we go to Ashley who is acting a lot like Claude from Degrassi High and is reciting the most depressing dark story ever. The only one who seems to dig it is Ellie, everyone else is all, “What the fuck was that?” Spinner urges Jimmy to be honest since they made an honesty pack, but I don’t remember Jimmy agreeing to it. Anyways, he says that the story blew goats for quarters and it sounded like a suicide note. Ashley gets all pissed off, looks at him with hatred in her eyes and calls him at conformist. But couldn’t you argue that Ashley is one too? She is copying Ellie’s Goth style and attitude.
In the Hallway Mrs Hot Ass calls JT into her class and says that she wants to show him something. Sean makes a face like JT is about to enter Mrs H’s love cave. But of course she just called him in there to say that one of the Guinea Pigs is pregnant. In the computer room, Emma see’s that JT is actually online during his lunch hour and since he’s in lust with Mrs H, he wants to know everything about Guinea Pigs. Except retard doesn’t know how to spell it so he’s at a lost until Emma corrects his spelling.
Speaking of Mrs H, we cut to her science room and she’s doing a science experiment with balloons. They’re trying to say that thanks to Manny’s mane, that the balloons are floating due to static electricity or something like that, but you can clearly see the strings holding the balloons up. They should have hired Mr Wizard to get that shit to work. Coach Armstrong comes in and they go talk in the hallway. Toby and Sean make fun of him by saying that Armstrong is boning her, but please. JT could never get a woman like her. Him getting the Guinea Pig pregnant sounds more plausible. But JT takes this as the time to put two balloons like they’re her big tits and then Toby motorboats him and get’s a boner. She comes back in and is beyond hurt by JT’s antics. But I don’t know why she cares what an asshole like JT thinks of her.
It’s a new day and Ashley comes along and actually thanks him for being truthful about her shitty suicidal story. She says, “I like this new Jimmy.” But he hasn’t actually changed his personality at all. Spinner then takes this as an opportunity to say that he and Ashley getting back together is the worst idea in the history of ever. He goes on to basically say that Jimmy is Ashley’s bitch whenever they’re a couple.
In the zen garden, Mrs H is sitting there listening to some Yanni and JT comes along and tries to apologize to her. She just says whatever and he asks her what else does she want. I was assuming that she was going to say that she hates it that most guys only see her as a hot piece of ass. But she takes the time to basically say that JT is a massive tool and that she’s sick and tired of him acting like a jackass all the time. I guess she’s happy being a sex object. JT probably wanting to hurt her says that he’s transferring out of her class, but she could give two fucks if he leaves or not.
After school, Terri see’s that Jimmy is working on a honesty list for Spinner and it’s just pointing out all of his faults. Which is hilarious. Terri starts to say that this is a horrible idea. But Drake get’s so annoyed with her that he threatens to make a Terri list. I’m sure her Satanist past would have gotten in there.
We finally come towards the end of the episode and the stupid guinea pig get’s loose and Mrs H and JT get into a chase with the stupid rat. (Is a Guinea Pig considered a rodent? Eh, who cares?!) It finds a hole in the wall and in it goes. JT cares way too much when Mrs Hot Bod tells him that the janitor conveniently spread rat poison all over the school. If I were him I would have said, “Oh well she’s fucked, see you tomorrow!”
As all the Degrassi kids are leaving, Spinner and Jimmy are just telling each other everything that annoys them. Spinner says that Jimmy has a shiny forehead. Is that racist? Anyways, their faults are hilarious to me.
To cut my torture I’ll just summarize. JT turns down the lights and puts on some soft music. He read an article that Guinea Pigs love that shit, but I think he was also hoping to seduce Mrs H. Who can blame him? I think we’ve all had at least one teacher that we wanted to fuck. I know I did. Anyways, the Guinea Pig comes out just in the nick of time and has her litter.
The next day Spinner and Jimmy are still pissed off at each other and they realize that telling the truth is for the birds. They get a laugh out of Mrs Kwan having a bunch of ink all over her mouth. I would have just assumed that she was blowing an octopus.
Thank God, the episode ends with JT telling Sean and Toby about the stupid Guinea Pigs being born. For some reason they were disappointed that his story didn’t lead to Mrs Hot Piece devouring JT sexually.
So yeah, this episode sucked. They should never give the lead story to the younger cast members because they’re story lines are always the worst. Yick, Arthur, I’m looking at you when I reviewed Degrassi Junior High! The only good thing about it was the whole Jimmy and Spinner truth plot. We at least had some eye candy with Mrs Hatzilakos, but even she couldn’t save this turd. This episode is definitely the low point for the season.