So we continue from the shocking conclusion of part 1 of the season premiere of Season 3 of Degrassi.
Pre-credit opener: Emma is telling Shane how shocked she is that she’s found out that he’s a retard and not a Dr like she thought. A very sweaty looking Shane begs her not to go and drags her ass back into his room. He starts to pat her head and says, “You have pretty blonde hair like Emma.” Emma shouts at him to stop because she’s all weirded out. But she should realize that he’s completely out of his mind and he can’t help himself. Shane goes on to say that Emma, his daughter doesn’t care or love him because she doesn’t come to visit him. Emma near tears tells him that she couldn’t find him until then and drops the bomb on him that she’s Emma. Poor Shane’s feeble mind can’t comprehend the information he just received, but all of a sudden it clicks that Emma has grown up from the little girl he see’s in his picture of her and Spike. Shane gives her a hug and says, “Don’t be sad, daddy’s here now.”
At a skate park Spinner and Jimmy are still discussing the stupid locker situation. I really wish they could have resolved this bullshit in the previous episode. Anyways, they both bury the hatchet or as Spinner said, “The hammer” about the iPod, I mean MP3 player. Why they just can’t say iPod is beyond me. But ok, they’ve moved on and Spinner asks Jimmy if he can have his locker, which is so choice. Jimmy says yes under the condition that Spinner admits that he needs a spine donor because he has no back bone and pretty much does what Paige wants. Jimmy though, being a prick wants Spinner to do this admission in front of their entire class.
Back at the mental place. Emma asks Shane how long he’s been there and he says, since he hit his head. I’m guessing he really wasn’t recovering after all. Because in Degrassi High Shane said that they were starting to let him go off by himself. He must have caused a commotion when he saw Optimus Prime die in the animated Transformers movie and that’s when he lost his privileges. Emma wonders out loud why no one told her any of this information, but they’re interrupted by the nurse who promptly kicks Emma’s ass out of the hospital and tells her that she did serious damage to Shane’s simple world by just coming in and disrupting his normal routine. As the nurse tells him that Emma has to go home, Shane loses his shit and scares the hell out of Emma by acting out violently. I love how Craig chooses this moment to take a picture of him. The nurse calms him down by giving him some needles so he can crochet something. Is she fucking crazy herself? I would never give someone with Shane’s mental capacity a couple of stabbing weapons like those. Before she leaves Emma being stupid gives him her address. Which will come back to bite her in the ass later on.
Back at the train station, Emma is livid with Spike and goes on to say that she’s evil and that she hates her guts. Craig being annoyed with her tells her that at least she has a dad, in fact she has two. Emma blurts out, “One is retarded and the other one is a big giant bitch!” She then apologizes and they’re sad to find out that they’ve missed the last train back to town. In the next scene Joey is all pissed off at the both of them because he just lost out on ripping off another foreigner with one of his shitty cars at the lot. Emma shuts him up by bringing up Shane and that they just saw him.
At home as soon as Emma comes into the house Spike starts to tear her a new asshole. Snake being afraid of her tells her to calm down, but Spike tells him to shut his bitch ass mouth before she slaps the shit out of him. Emma near tears again tells Spike that she found him and that she can’t believe that Spike had him locked up at the mental hospital. Spike points out that his parents put him there because they were old as fuck to begin with and they couldn’t handle him and his retard strength. Snake tries to get Emma to talk to them, but Emma is being a little shit again. Snake yells at her and Emma says, “You don’t talk to me like that, you’re not my dad.” Burn Snake.
Back at Degrassi, Jimmy is pressuring Spinner to make an ass in front of the whole class. Spinner stands up and declares to everyone that he has no spine and that he does Paige’s bidding. Everyone of course laughs their asses off. Except for Paige who is mortified. Like no one knows that she’s a bossy bitch. Jimmy meanwhile gives up his locker. By the way, someone should have told the extra behind Paige not to look into the camera.
Spike meanwhile is also knitting and she’s horrible at it. She get’s up to answer the door and she’s beyond shocked to see Shane, dressed like an old man standing there at her door.
At Degrassi Snake tells Emma the whole Shane back story. Any old school Degrassi viewer can tell you, which is that when Spike got pregnant with her, he tried to be involved, but his parents wouldn’t allow it. Shane then took some acid from his dickhead friend Luke during the legendary Gourmet Scum farewell concert, then he jumped off a bridge because he was so fucked up from the drugs.
Back at Spike’s, Spike is getting more and more nervous of Shane being insane and obviously jealous of her getting married to Snake. Shane asks her why she didn’t tell him that she married him and Spike unbelievably acts like a bitch and tells him while rolling her eyes, “I didn’t have to.” Shane obviously not listening to her says that he can be her husband and be dad to the bun inside her oven. Spike tries to use the phone but Shane takes it away and says that she’s not calling anyone. Pretty safe to say that Spike is in deep shit.
At Degrassi Emma decides to go home because she tried to call Spike but the phone was busy. Spike is trying everything to get rid of Shane, but he’s so delusional he keeps insisting that it’s his house. When Spike tells him that he doesn’t live there, he loses his shit again and starts to annihilate the place.
Oh God. Paige meanwhile is going off on Spinner for making her look like an asshole Which she is. Spinner tells her about the deal that he made and she get’s even more pissed off. Finally, he gives up and pretty much tells her that there is no way to ever please her because nothing is ever good enough for a terrible person like her.
Spike tells Shane that it seems like he hurt his hand but he’s all paranoid about her trying to do something. She tries to sweet talk him and him being stupid he lets his guard down and that’s when Spike grabs the phone and tries to call who I’m assuming is the cops to take his ass away in a net. But Shane over powers her and takes the phone away again. Spike meanwhile seems to have gone into labor. Emma comes in at the perfect time and catch’s Shane acting like a maniac. Spike tells her that the baby is coming and Shane calls her a liar. Emma tells him that she’s her mom and if he hurts her she’ll never talk to him again. But again, Shane is insane and doesn’t want to give the phone to Emma so that she can call Snake. Emma comes up with the perfect solution, which is to give Shane Spike’s knitting needles. It actually works because Shane is a simpleton.
At Degrassi, Joey conveniently is at the office talking to Mr Raditch. The secretary tells him that Spike is in labor and Joey takes it upon himself to go and tell Snake, who is outside collecting butterflies with his class. The stupid jungle music from the previous episode comes on again and as soon as he hears the news, Snake completely abandon’s his class to the deadly Degrassi woods.
In some class room meanwhile Mr Raditch is busy tearing Spinner a new asshole and he pretty much tells him that everyone that he switched lockers with is to return to their original ones that they were assigned. Paige comes along and acts like a bitch still. Spinner says that he was only trying to make her happy but like everything he tries in life, he fails miserably and she pretty much deserves someone better. No she doesn’t. Paige reassures him that she likes him and says that she’s sorry for being a demanding bitch. As they kiss, Jimmy just can’t help being a fucking dick and tells Spinner that he’s whipped. Paige points out that Jimmy is a hater because he has no girlfriend of his own.
Finally it seems like the birth of the Anti Christ is imminent. Lucky for Spike Liz is there to help deliver her little hell spawn. Leave it to Spike to be complaining about the pain. But dumb ass only demanded to have her little hippy home birth. Snake suddenly bursts through the door and is happy to see that the baby is on the way, but he makes a what the fuck face when he see’s Shane knitting in the corner.
Outside Shane is pretty much done with knitting a poof ball cap for the baby. A van comes up and it’s from the retard place and it seems like they’ve come to lock Shane away for good. Emma tells him to wait and gives him a photo that Craig took of him and her. It would be touching except for the fact that it seems like Shane wants to murder Emma in the picture.
Emma walks in to see that the beast has been born and both parents couldn’t be prouder. Liz tells Emma that she wants to take their picture and that she should sit down. Emma wisely sits completely off the mattress because it probably has all this nasty after birth all over the goddamn thing. The episode ends with Emma telling her baby brother Jack that he looks exactly like their dad. You can tell that she only said that because she realized that Shane is stupid and unstable.
I would say that this 2nd part was a big improvement over the previous episode. The whole Spinner subplot got old fast. Plus Spike was just a plain bitch in this one before. But that’s nothing new right there.