So it’s October and I thought I would do a review of this webisode series because I love Halloween. I have a feeling this is going to be cheesy as hell though.
We start out with season 9’s opening credits and all of a sudden we get some spooky imagery. Well spooky to Degrassi standards. After that bullshit we see some news bulletins that says that Degrassi, or I should say Toronto is being hit with a zombie epidemic. Turns out that it happened because people were eating genetically modified fruits and vegetables. Seems like Emma and Ashley were right all along then. But going by that, I’m guessing this is only happening around Degrassi.
I gotta say, it has pretty good gore effects for such a low budget production, let alone webisodes. I believe Manny is narrating and we see that Peter, Ashley, Jay and Paige have barricaded themselves in Degrassi. Yup, it was Manny. Going by the dialog they’re totally ripping off Dawn of the Dead. Especially when Peter says that the kids are coming back to school because it was important to them. Jay in disgust can’t fathom why anyone would want to go back to Degrassi. He does make a good point. Ashley is playing the part of panicky idiot and is crying why the army or anyone else comes to rescue them. Paige tells her that they’re the only one’s left alive. That’s when Manny says that Emma is on her way in her car to rescue them out of that hell hole. But nope, Emma is now one of the flesh eaters, so they’re fucked now.
Jay says that he’s not going to stand around holding his dick while the zombies eventually break through the door. Being a scumbag, he knows where Mrs H keeps the spare bus keys. But no principle would keep spares. That would be at the motor pool or whatever. But that’s Degrassi for you, wants you to dispel any logic. They tell Jay that they should stick together but he’s basically all, “Every man for himself!” Peter says that he won’t find the keys because he already has them. I love how they don’t even bother to tell Jay that. All of a sudden we see Jay pop back out screaming and it’s Mrs H biting the hell out of his throat. The blood spraying looks like such bad cgi. It’s hilarious.
Peter starts to go on about the fact that they just killed his mom. Even though they didn’t even show it. Paige says that she knew that she was a man eater, but that was ridiculous. So did Paige just call Mrs H a whore? Ashley starts to say that it wasn’t his mom anymore and it was just a zombie. That’s when she spots Jimmy and he’s now a zombie too.
All of a sudden Emma appears at the gym doors and it’s obvious that the zombies have broken into the school now. Manny heads into a vent and crawls into it with Paige following. Ashley being stupid get’s too close and that’s when Jimmy fucking kills her. No big loss there. Everyone else makes it except for Peter, he get’s pulled back out and he throws the bus keys to Paige. So Peter’s dinner now.
Even as a zombie, Emma is still being a nag. She’s bitching out Manny, telling her that she tried for years warning people about the deadly effects of genetically modified foods, but no one listened to her. Of course not, Emma has a new bullshit cause every week. She doesn’t have any credibility. Funny how Manny was daydreaming all that.
In the vents Paige is telling Manny that she’s sorry for being such a bitch to her all these years and that she’s glad that she’s there with her. Manny then says, “You’re not hitting on me are you?” Referring to that fact that Paige is now a lesbian too. I told you, everyone at the school eventually turns gay.
They come out of the vents into one of the science rooms. Paige is nearly bitten by Spinner who’s tied up and looks more like a raccoon than a zombie. That or a bank robber. Now I’m thinking that they blew most of their budget on the beginning of the first webisode. Spinner then says, “Sexy.” Out of nowhere, that dork Derek, dressed like a scientist explains that Spinner is now a zombie but that his extincts are still there, meaning that even though he’s dead, he still wants to fuck.
Derek goes on to say that he’s glad he’s there and that his dreams are finally going to come true. Manny asks him what he’s talking about and he says that he wants to repopulate the Earth. Meaning he wants to bang, possibly rape the both of them. Paige says that he’s out of his mind and he says not only that, but horny too. Seriously, he said he was horny. Fucking Degrassi, always going there I guess. He then goes on to say that he’s going to blow up the school and take all the zombies with it.
Manny goes on to say that they have to get the hell out of there and that’s when Paige uses her sexuality to get to Derek and starts to kiss him. Being a horny loser, he falls for it. But that’s when she signals Manny to get out of the way so that she can push him towards Spinner, who bites his neck open. Derek pushes the detonator and all Paige can do is say, “Oh crap.” Manny runs out of the room before she can become a crispy critter too. The explosion looked fake as hell. Haha.
Manny seems to be the only survivor and is explaining to everyone that the explosion should have cleared a way to the school bus. They would show us that the school is destroyed, but they can’t afford to.
As she turns around she see’s that there’s a shit load of zombies in front of the bus so Derek and his stupid plan failed miserably. Peter starts to talk to her and tells her to play dead so they can get by them. I don’t know how he survived. But whatever, bad screen writing really. But what do you expect from a webisode series. Just as they’re about to get there, Manny get’s stopped in her tracks when she see’s Emma blocking the entrance. Manny points out that even though she’s dead, Emma still looks pretty. I swear, I just saw an extra who looked like he was more confused than dead.
Finally they get on the bus and escape. But as they’re driving away, it’s pretty clear that Peter was bitten. By why is everyone being bitten on the neck for? Anyways, Peter turns into a zombie and then it seems like he’s going to bang her doggy style. Probably figures that a slut like Manny would like that and that’s where this ends with no one surviving!
We then get the closing credits and I’m laughing my ass off because Drake is dancing around like Michael Jackson in Thriller. He even does the fucking robot! Someone’s singing/rapping during this. They’re pretty much summarizing what happened and I can swear that it’s Snake. It’s pretty bad too, so it must be him.
Well there you have it, Degrassi of the Dead. This was pretty lame, it did have impressive gore effects in the beginning, but it was all down hill from then. But if you like lame horror movies that you see in five dollar bins, then this will be right up your alley. Maybe I’m being to hard on it, it was after all a webisode series and it’s doubtful they had much money to do it. Plus it looked like it was fun to make. Ok, I change my mind, this was a fun little thing to watch for October and Halloween.