Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 3, Episode 22, “The Power Of Love”

So we finally made it to the season finale peeps. I think it took me over a year to finish season 3. Mostly because I would lose interest in this blog and then I would start up again because I was bored and had nothing better to do.

Pre-Credit Opener: It’s the end of the school year and everyone at Degrassi is cleaning out their lockers so they can get the hell out of there. Jimmy and Hazel come along and Jimmy is going on about going to a basketball camp in LA for the Summer. Hazel points out that he’s spoiled as hell. But he doesn’t want to go because he’ll miss Hazel and those breasts of hers. They run into Paige and Spinner and that’s when Jimmy once again flaunts his wealth by saying that he’s getting a limo for Marco’s Gay Indian dance happening that night and dinner is on him.

Sean walks into Snake’s office and Snake informs him that his grades are in the gutter and that he’s basically going to fail the class. I love how he blames Snake for him failing even though it’s his own fault for being a dumbass. But Snake having mercy tells him that he can pass if he does a project where he’s cataloging gaseous anomalies in the auto shop.

At the Jeremiah household Caitlin comes along knocking on the door like she’s the damn police. They start to have a conversation about her moving into Joey’s dump. I would think it’s a major downgrade for Caitlin because I’m assuming she has a much better place than Joey. You can tell that she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t give him an answer, the pretense being that she’s late for a meeting, but really she just wants to leave Joey’s. But she says they’ll talk later at dinner.

We cut to Jimmy’s and it seems like he’s wearing a female’s Indian clothing. I can’t believe that anyone would go to these length’s to actually dress up for Marco’s dance. I know I wouldn’t. But this is Degrassi and they’re going to shove diversity down our throats whether we want it or not.

They walk outside and a beat up 80’s era prom limo pulls up and holy shit! Look who it is. Billy Ray Cyrus, aka Cyrus! It’s pretty sad that he had to resort to having a small cameo in Degrassi. Jimmy is beyond disappointed, and embarrassed that he got such a piece of shit limo service for him and his friends.

At Caitlin’s TV station. Caitlin is busying customizing his and her’s towels on the computer instead of working. Her gay co-worker comes by and she tells him about Joey asking her to move in with her. He says congratulations, but also says that he wanted to tell her that anyways because the station approved for her to go around the globe covering Aids. Caitlin is ecstatic at first, but then get’s bummed out because of Joey. And Goddamn, she has to leave that night and be gone for about nine months. So after all that waiting, which was a year she said, she tells the guy no because that’s the power of love damn it!

Back at the MI lab Snake is giving Sean a break and he’s passing him with the lowest passing grade ever. Snake then says that he has to go to chaperon Gay Indian dance and Sean says that he’s not going because it’s not his scene. Seriously, it’s not anyone’s scene. Snake then decides to have a heart to heart moment with Sean telling him that he used to come to him with his problems, but that’s it’s ok if he doesn’t want to talk anymore. But he just wants him to know that he’ll always be there for him. Sean not being able to take the guilt any longer admits to him that he stole his computer, but that was because he was angry at the world and getting influenced by Jay. Snake looks like he wants to murder Sean, but let’s face it, Sean could easily kick his ass too. All Sean can lamely say is that he’s sorry for what he did.

So wow, we’re back to the same restaurant that we’ve seen in Marco’s first date and the time that Spinner and Paige skipped out on lunch. I guess Degrassi only has one fancy restaurant in the whole area. Spinner and Paige spot the gay waiter and they are terrified of him. Oh lord. Seriously? Caitlin and Joey just happen to be dining there too. They talk about her decision and she tells Joey yes. But she then mentions her big time assignment and that she’d have to leave that night. Joey can’t understand why Caitlin would turn it down and tells her to accept it because it’s a big opportunity. She says all sad, “I thought you were my big opportunity.” Joey seems to be doing the right thing by supporting her. But Caitlin being insane seems to take it that Joey doesn’t want her.

Finally it’s time for the dance and it’s as bad as you’d think. I love how Marco is subjecting everyone to his bullshit. But it seems like the lame Degrassi kids love it. Snake comes along dressed like a genie and over hears JT complaining about the drinks. So he makes a run to the store to get more ice. Uh oh, Ellie and Sean walk in dressed like they usually do. Sean tries to talk to Snake, but Snake doesn’t want to hear a thing from him.

Back at the fancy restaurant, the gay waiter comes along and leaves the check. It seems like he’s charged them triple because of Spinner and Paige skipping out. Jimmy for once not having enough has to borrow money from Hazel and he’s even more humiliated now. But it get’s even worse. Cyrus is being arrested for being a scumbag and now they have no ride. Or so they think. Cyrus being the big star that he is orders the police to drive them all to the dance and they do just that. Outside the school, Snake is losing it because his piece of junk car won’t start up. That’s when Sean comes along and offers to help him out.

We cut back to Caitlin at her TV station and Joey decides to confront her on why she’s acting like an ass. Near tears she tells Joey that if he really loved her, he wouldn’t want her to go. He tells her that he wants her to go because he does in fact love her. She brings up the past and says that he’s made promises before, promises that he didn’t keep. So the guy porked Tessa and got her pregnant. Move on Caitlin that was over ten years ago. But you can tell Caitlin is one to never forget. Joey then reassures her that he’ll be there waiting for her. I don’t know what she’s worried about. Joey is a bald loser who can barely take care of himself. He isn’t going anywhere.

Back at the school Sean tells Snake that he has a serious problem with his car and that he wants to help. Snake then throws in his face that he stole the laptop that Spike spent her savings on while he was fucking dying from cancer. Sean now near tears just talks shop because he wants to avoid the issue. Trying to make up for it he tells Snake that if he pays for the parts, then he’ll work on the car for free. Snake always wanting to have a suped up car like in the Fast and the Furious agrees.

Marco’s dreams are coming true by having everyone join him in his Bollywood fantasies. As he’s talking about King and Queen, the curtain that he’s been putting into the lights all episode long catch fire. So that’s it for Gay Indian dance because everyone rushes out in a panic to avoid the sprinklers and flames. At least they didn’t have something happen like in Carrie where half the cast died. Toby comes to mind. Rats. Just as everyone is coming out, that’s when Jimmy and his crew pull up to see that the school is on fire.

At the airport Joey and Caitlin say their goodbye’s and Joey says, “I guess this is it.” Caitlin says, “For now.” You can already tell that Joey regrets telling her to leave. It just hit me how absurd this show can be. Sure she can go on assignment to cover something. But for nine months? What the fuck is she going to do, take part in Aid’s research to find a cure? Caitlin can only do so much interviewing people and ruining their lives. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea that she go. Knowing her, she’ll start a revolution in some stinking shit hole of a country because she loves to rile people up.

In the last scene we go back to the school where the dance is now happening outside. Seems like everyone is having an even better time now that they don’t have to deal with Marco’s stupid theme. Jimmy for some reason is super bummed about how the evening has gone for him. Basically he just wanted to be a big shot and impress Hazel. But she knows that he’s loaded and she’s not going anywhere either. The episode ends with Sean and Snake being cordial towards each other.

So that’s it with this season. I would say that it was better than Season 1 and 2. But this still had it’s duds. Like the Breakfast club episode. As for this episode, it was alright. They did seem to wrap up season long story lines fast. You can tell it was rushed, like the whole thing with Sean and Snake. The Caitlin and Joey plot was a little ridiculous and really added nothing to the story. It’s just more Joey and Caitlin bullshit that’s been happening since the 80’s.

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Season 3, Episode 21 “Our House”

Pre-Credit Opener: Sean and Jay are at the mall looking at hip hop DVD’s at the CD kiosk and they just have to have that disc because some rapper get’s on stage on an actual Humvee. Did you get that? A Humvee, it’s so dope, they just have to steal it. But it seems like they’ve gotten a bit overconfident now because they’re actually really bad at shop lifting. They try to split up and run away from a security guard. Just as they link up again and think they’re going to make it, they get the closeline from hell. Sean now knows that he’s in deep shit because he’s such a bad seed.

Back at Sean’s slum, Tracker is super pissed that he got banned from the mall. Sean asks him what the big deal is, and Tracker tells him that he’s lucky that the cops weren’t called. I call bullshit here. If they were shoplifting the cops definitely would have been called. But this is Degrassi and when did logic ever make sense here? Tracker right away tells him that Jay is the problem and that he’ll have to cut him loose. Sean says that he can’t because he’s his homie.

In the science lab, Liberty asks JT if he has a date for the Gay Indian semi formal that’s coming up. I love how full of herself she is because she’s going out with Jay’s goon. Much like Arthur in Degrassi Junior High, Liberty thinks that she’s a dating expert now and tells JT that he needs to ask out Manny to the dance. JT thinks that his Frodo Baggin’s looking ass doesn’t have a chance, but Liberty sure thinks that Manny is into him.

In the auto shop Ellie is there for some reason, kissing Sean’s ass. Shouldn’t she be in class herself? She’s about to go I presume and that’s when Sean decides to make out with her, angering his formerly big breasted girlfriend Amy.

The next scene has JT buying two tickets for the dance. Spinner comes along and just assumes that it’s for Toby. I know I would have thought the same thing. Just then Manny comes walking by looking like everyone’s favorite Canadian dream girl. Spinner then ruins everything by saying that if he goes with her then he’s guaranteed to at least getting a rusty trombone from her. JT get’s these sad puppy dog eyes and Spinner basically says that she’s Degrassi’s biggest whore and everyone going there knows it.

It’s after school and Sean comes home to his house looking like an even bigger mess. Tracker and his hatchet faced girlfriend are packing their crap up like crazy. Sean asks him what’s going on and Tracker drops the bomb on him that he’s gotten a really good high paying job drilling oil in Alberta. Sean now get’s sad and tells him that he doesn’t want to go in some oil mining camp and wants to stay because he can lose his year. But Tracker could careless, because they have to leave right away. Seems like Sean is screwed here.

The next day at  Degrassi Sean comes along and breaks the news to Ellie that the next day he’s moving to Alberta. Ellie of course promptly runs away to go cut the hell out of her arm. At least I’m assuming, Ellie is emo as hell.

In the auto shop Jay pushes Sean who get’s a cut from the engine that he’s working on for his project. Being in a foul mood already, he picks a fight with Jay. Whoa, the auto shop teacher comes rolling in on his machine and is pissed at Sean for throwing tools all over the place. Sean tells him all about his dilemma and the teacher tells him about student welfare. Sean’s eye brow’s somehow thicken because he has hope again.

The next day Sean tells Tracker about his little plan, which involves him staying there by himself. Tracker saying that he’s doomed to failure and says that he’ll be knocking on his door by the end of the month. Back at Degrassi Sean tells Ellie all about the student welfare and she’s so happy, she starts to dry hump him in front of everyone. We then get a scene of Sean playing music all loud and eating cake for breakfast. Yup, he’s his own man now.

Back in class, Liberty asks Manny if she has an outfit picked out for the dance, but Manny says that she’s not going because everyone hates her guts there and no one would want to go with a skank like her anyways. That’s when Liberty hints that JT is planning on asking her out. JT meanwhile is looking like a major creep just staring at her.

In the auto shop, Sean is telling his flunkies all about the student welfare deal. Basically he has to go to class and get good grades. But you can tell that they don’t care about that shit. They’re just thinking that they now have a permanent place to party, Degrassi style. Sean doesn’t help matters by saying that they can come over anytime and that it’s not his house, but “Ours.”

So at that we get a montage where a bunch of horny wiggers are partying it up at Sean’s. He meanwhile is already fucking up because it’s obvious that he’s not getting enough sleep, plus he can’t study or relax because Jay and his friends keep coming over to drink Zimas.

After all that, the shop teacher is livid at Sean for constantly coming in late. Sean says not to worry because he can pass his exam easily. But the shop teacher is more worried about his other exams. Even he knows that Sean isn’t an intellectual giant.

Just as JT is about to ask Manny out, he spies Craig coming over to talk to her. Probably assuming that she’s still boning him on the side, JT understandably leaves disappointed and tries to return the tickets. Manny then comes by and asks him why he hasn’t asked her out to the dance yet. JT all full of piss and vinegar tells her that he saw her with Craig. Manny instantly get’s all defensive and is close to tears. She tells him that he was just asking if she was ok. She did abort his fetus after all. JT doesn’t believe her of course and she starts to cry and mentions that it was Craig who was cheating on Ashley and that she was just the succubus who tempted him into sex. So she’s blameless! After that JT feels bad for thinking that she was making an appointment to bang Craig again.

In the next scene Sean is trying to study for his finals and that’s when Jay comes in and introduces the Montreal crew. I immediately started to laugh my ass off  like Robert DeNiro in Cape Fear because they’re a bunch of lame, white bread looking motherfuckers. Anyways, you can tell that Sean is starting to have enough of Jay bringing all sorts of losers to his place to party.

That was fast. Sean seems to have given up on studying and is hanging out with Ellie. Ellie get’s up to take a dump and that’s when Amy comes along and is acting like a drunken fool.  She’s getting a bit too touchy feely and that’s when Ellie comes back with a huge bowl of pop corn and tells her that he already has a girlfriend and for Amy to get her nasty skeeze hands off of her man or else she’s going to cut her up with her protractor.

Uh oh, the Montreal crew are just too gangsta to handle. They start a fight and Sean tells Jay to handle it, but he get’s manhandled. Just as he’s about to get his ass kicked Alex screams that Amy is passed out on the floor. Good thing that Alex found her because this is Degrassi after all and it wouldn’t have taken long for someone to take advantage of her. Just like Bill Cosby.

The paramedics come in and take Amy away. Jay showing no compassion is only worried about losing a place to party. He asks Sean where they’re going next and that’s when Sean now having enough tells him that the party is over. Jay is all pissed off at Sean for making him look bad in front of the Montreal crew. That guy has a rep to think about!

The next day Manny seems to be wear an ugly jacket that looks like it’s been patched together from different carpet samples. Anyways, JT apologizes for judging her and thinking that she was back with Craig. He asks her out and after some trepidation she says yes.

In the hallway Sean passes by Jay and he asks her if Amy is ok. Sean says that she will be. Sean then makes his way to the autoshop and gives the teacher forms for him to sign. For some reason, Sean tells him about what happened at the lame party and understands if he doesn’t want to sponsor him anymore. But this is a dedicated teacher we’re talking about here and he says that he’s not going to be amongst the list of people who have disappointed Sean his entire life. But then, he completely contradicts everything that he just said by saying that he’s not going to sign Sean’s papers until he can prove that he’s responsible. Sean showing real acting chops says that he’s done with his partying. The teacher smiles and pulls a pen out and signs the paper. The episode ends with Sean finishing up his project.

So this was a pretty good episode. I’m telling you, most of the Sean episodes are the better ones. The whole thing with Manny and JT was pretty good too. Glad to see that her character is actually growing beyond the skank that she was becoming. But I’m still laughing at the Montreal crew. Lord what a joke. Vanilla Ice had more street cred.


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Season 3, Episode 20, “I Want Candy”

And I’m back for another review of Degrassi, and too bad it’s an episode that I don’t really care for.

Pre-Credit Opener: Mrs Hotass is talking about a science test or homework that both Spinner and Paige think it’s too hard to take. Mrs H asks Paige to take the assignment to Ashley since she’s supposedly sick again. But everyone knows that she just has a case of emo supremo. Spinner says that he can’t take that shit and that’s when Paige tells him that they’re going to take the day off. So this is pretty much Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Degrassi style.

The next day it appears that Dylan is letting Paige borrow his car for her day off. She’s giving him the fake note that she forged to give to her teacher or whomever. Dylan makes her promise to bring back the car in one piece and with a full tank. Cheap bastard says that because the tank is practically empty to begin with.

Meanwhile at Spinner’s house, Spinner is going through the typical I have a fever routine for his mom. Kendra tries to be a snitch by telling his mom that he only dipped the anal thermometer into hot water, but he get’s rid of the evidence by drinking the scalding water. Her mom tells her to get her ass to school while she goes to what looks like the Canadian equivalent to Walmart.

Back in the mi lab Snake has finally grown his hair back, which wasn’t much to begin with. JT starts to bother Emma about the semi formal, but she seems to have her mind on something else. JT having no tact just goes on to ask her if Manny would want to go with him. Snake tells him to shut up, but JT still continues to bother her, getting them both in trouble and they now have to defrag the whole mi lab for lunch. At least Snake is still acting like a dick.

Oh Lord, Ashley is in her room singing a really shitty emo song. Her mom walks in annoyed as hell because Ashley sucks and she wants her to stop. But no, the real reason is that Ashley is missing a bunch of school and she’s afraid that she might fail her year. Her mom says something cryptic about something they talked about the other day and that it might just be the best thing for her. Hmm?

Elsewhere Spinner and Paige are trying to figure what to do with their day, but all of their suggestions are really lame. Ashley then calls them up for homework, that’s when Paige decides to bring Ashley along. I love how she just ignore’s Spinner’s protests because Ashley is a big downer that no one want’s to hang out with.

In Ashley’s room Paige is trying to get Ashley to go with them. Paige says that they all get a wish on what they want to do. Paige says that she wants to go to a really nice restaurant for lunch. Spinner for some reason seems to have a big obsession with playing mini golf in this one and that’s what he wants to do. Ashley of course goes the downer route and says that she wants to go visit Terri. I’m guessing that she still hasn’t gone to go visit her. Some friend Ashley is.

It seems like Terri has finally come out of her coma and as you’d expect, the small talk is very awkward. A nurse comes in to change Terri’s dressings and Ashley can’t take the carnage on her head and she leaves the room even more depressed now. How do you think Terri feels you selfish asshole? I have to point out that this was Terri’s final appearance in Degrassi and it sucks that it had to be such a brief one.

Back at Degrassi, Emma is getting major sass from Alex, Jay’s girlfriend. She seems to be shopping for hip hop clothes from a web site and Emma can’t defrag the computer. On Snake’s laptop JT has discovered Snake’s will. Right away you can tell that Emma is assuming the worst. At least he didn’t find some fucked up hardcore porn on the thing.

At the restaurant Spinner is getting tired of Ashley being a huge buzzkill. But then again, he is acting like an immature ass in front of everyone. Oh look who it is, it’s the gay waiter that Marco’s dad made fun of. Spinner tries to get a beer, but the guy isn’t having it and gives them all three ginger ales. Ashley goes on to say that seeing Terri and the gore coming out of her head made her lose her appetite. Paige tells her that getting down about it won’t make it better. Ashley feeling sorry for herself says that the whole year has been a big cluster fuck and that next year she’s going to a different school. I couldn’t help but say, “Finger’s crossed!”

In the next scene, Paige is annoyed with Spinner because he’s elated to hear that Ashley is transferring to another school. She goes on to say that she’s her friend and that she had a really tough year. That’s funny coming from someone who made her life a living hell in the 2nd season. Ashley comes back and she tells them that Mr Raddich is there on a hot lunch date. On that note they just leave the place without paying the bill. Mightily pissing off the gay waiter.

We then get a montage of Spinner playing goofy golf finally and then a shot of him crying at the movies. I get it Spin, you’d have to be a robot not to cry to Steel Magnolia’s. At an art museum Spinner has finally had enough of Ashley and her prudish, self important ways. He tells her that he was trying to get her to have a laugh and leaves super annoyed. Paige having enough tells her that she needs to get over Craig being a cheating bastard and to not take life so goddamn seriously. Then she pretty much tells Ashley that Craig cheated on her not just because he was horny, but because Ashley is a bore who you can’t have any fun with.

Back at Degrassi Emma is getting more and more anxious about Snake and is desperately looking for him. Alex takes that as the wrong time to start some shit with her. Emma not being in the mood starts to man handle her and knee’s her right in the face. She should have followed up on that and kicked her right in the cooch too. But she doesn’t and Alex bitch slaps the shit out of her.

At the local Degrassi mall, Ashley, Spinner and Paige stumble upon an Elvis impersonator contest. Ashley has finally succeeded, Spinner is now completely down from hanging out with her all day long and says that they just mopped around the entire city. Ashley hearing this tells them to have a seat and that she’ll get them a snack while Paige smacks Spinner for being so tactless. But hey, Ashley deserved it.

In the lobby Emma asks Snake how long he knew that the chemo failed, but he tells her that the Dr just told him to be prepared. He goes on to mention that that day he’ll be getting the results from the chemo and he’ll find out if it worked or not. Seems like it was Spike’s idea to keep Emma in the dark. Great idea Spike. Anyways Snake tells her that it’s pretty much life and death.

Back at the contest this Dweeb is singing Amen and Spinner can’t help feeling uncomfortable. Ashley then surprises them by being in the contest under the name of Elvira, Queen of Doom and sings her heart out Elvis style. For once Ashley seems to be happy.

At the Dr’s office Snake is finally getting the results back. After the Dr keeps them in agony with his technical talk, Snake, Spike and Emma are overjoyed to hear that the cancer has gone into remission and that he won’t be departing this dimension anytime soon.

In the next scene Ashley’s mom is pissed off at her because she wasn’t there when she got home. Ashley is all giddy because she finally got her head out of her ass and won third place. Before Paige and Spinner leave to pick up Dylan, they talk about how the day ended on a good note, even though she got a parking ticket. Ashley just throws it away and says that what Dylan doesn’t know won’t hurt him. At least until he get’s a court summons for not paying the ticket.

So yeah, I did not enjoy this episode at all. Ashley was just annoying as hell and I was glad that Paige finally told her that no one wants to hang out with a sour puss. But hey, at least Snake doesn’t have cancer anymore.


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Season 3, Episode 19, “It’s Raining Men”

Going by the name of the episode it’s pretty safe to assume that this one is starring Marco.

Pre-Credit Opener: Marco pulls up next to Paige, Spinner and Hazel and all excited shows them the poster for the semi formal. Geesh this guy is way too into himself, because it’s him and Ellie in East Indian garb. But goddamn, his dad comes out and he looks and sounds like Super Mario. Degrassi tries really hard to be liberal but holy moley if this isn’t an Italian stereotype right here. Anyways, the girls start to talk about how they’re going to win king and queen of the formal and Marco’s dad tells them that Marco is going to be the king. He just has to find the right queen. Poor bastard, he doesn’t realize that he already found his queen and it’s Dylan. But let’s be serious here guys. In that situation, Marco would be the queen.

In the hallway Marco is telling Dylan how embarrassing his dad is and he tells him that he already likes a guy. Being all awkward Marco can’t find the courage to ask Dylan to the stupid dance. Dylan taking the initiative asks Marco out to a zombie movie. But Marco being stupid says that they freak him out, so Dylan is going to ask another gay dude named Tom instead.

Oh lord, we come to the B plot and it involves JT dressing like a wigger while peddling curly fries in the cafeteria. Apparently there’s going to be a commercial for it since the fries are going to be in school cafeteria’s all over the country. Manny passes by and it’s obvious that JT still has a thing for her. He says hi to her, but she just walks on by because she’s so depressed in how her life is going at the moment. After that JT convinces Toby to have a launch party for his commercial at his place.

Speaking of the cafeteria, Spinner comes along and asks Marco all loud if he has a thing for Dylan. Marco all embarrassed says yes but he’s scared to ask him out. Funny how Spinner of all people is helping him out. Good for him for getting over his hatred of queer people. In the hallway Marco is just about to make his move but then Tom comes along. He’s gayer than Marco and Dylan combined. So he’s definitely Degrassi’s top gay. Marco see’s them together and leaves all disappointed.

We cut to Mrs Hotass’s science class and Spinner freaks Marco out by showing him a picture of a bee. Spinner then asks him what’s up with that Tom character and Marco wants to grind his balls into dust because he stole his crush. Man Marco has zero confidence because all he does is put himself down and has completely given up on getting with his favorite piece of beef cake.

Out in the hallway again Spinner decides to take it upon himself to hook Marco and Dylan up. This looks very bizarre because they both have the same hairstyle and it just seems like Spinner is talking to himself. Spinner see’s Tom coming and gives Dylan a hug. Dylan says, “What is this, hug the homo day?” Tom seeing a manly man like Spinner runs away in fear. After getting rid of him Spinner tells Dylan that Marco really likes him and that Dylan should ask him out. Dylan thinks that he isn’t ready and since Dylan had a horrible first gay date, he doesn’t want the same thing to happen to Marco. Spinner just tells him to think about it.

At cheer practice, Paige tries to complement JT but he just brushes her off so he can go and talk to Manny. He corners her and begs her to go to his party. She doesn’t want to because she’s Degrassi’s top slut and she knows that everyone knows it too. But she feels sorry for him and reluctantly agrees to go.

We go to Marco and he’s getting more and more depressed because he see’s couple after happy couple. At his locker Dylan comes along and says that he’s into him. Now that he knows, Dylan asks him out to the zombie movie and Marco agrees to go on his first date.

In the next scene we go to Spinner’s house and he’s playing with fucking toy dinosaurs. It’s hilarious. He quickly hides them like Dark Helmet because Marco just comes barging in with an arm full of clothes. Of course this being Marco, he’s freaking out and he wants to find the best outfit for the occasion. I don’t know how his dad doesn’t know that he’s gay because all his clothes are gayer than a motherfucker. He has a gay looking disco shirt, a Dracula/Hamlet looking shirt and even a goddamn cowboy shirt. Spinner vetos all of those choices by making fun of him and tells him to just keep it simple. At that Marco thanks him for helping him out.

Dylan finally comes by Spinner’s house to pick up Marco. He comes out wearing a stupid hat and Dylan points out that the hat is more for a club. Marco feels bad about the fashion faux pas, but he can’t dwell on it because there’s a bee in the car and he freaks out and makes a total fool of himself. But Dylan just thinks it’s cute. At their date Marco and Dylan are talking about their fears and you can tell that Marco is finally feeling more and more comfortable.

It’s finally time for JT’s party and Manny is having the worst time ever sitting next to two stoner look alikes. The commercial comes on and it’s the lamest thing ever. It’s so hard to describe, but it features a dog dressed just like him and his big catch phrase is, “Hey don’t be all up in my fries, dog.” After the commercial ends everyone is just sitting there in dead silence. Jimmy tells him if people make fun of him tomorrow, he should just tell them his catch phrase. At that, everyone starts to laugh their asses off at him and JT is experiencing humiliations galore. Especially because his crush Manny is right there witnessing it all.

Meanwhile at the movie Marco goes for it and holds Dylan’s hand. As they’re leaving Marco is mortified to see that his parents are at the mall too and they run into them. Marco not having the guts to say that they’re on a date simply tells them that he just happened to run into him. At that his dad invites them to dinner. And what a surprise, they go to an Italian restaurant. Marco’s parents start to go off on Marco and how he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Marco’s humiliation increases when an obviously gay waiter comes to their table and his dad Mario starts to make fun of him as soon as he leaves. He says, “How can that fagola carry the trays with his limp wrists?” He then starts to go off more on gay people and that the thought of gay sex is disgusting. Marco upset now tells him to shut the fuck up. Dylan, either being pissed off or just embarrassed decides to go home early. Thus ending their date.

The next day of school Jay and Sean are already making fun of JT and his lame commercial. Manny comes by and tries to cheer him up. She mentions that his commercial sucked but that he was actually great in it. JT says that she should tell people that. But she doesn’t think that anyone would want to listen to Degrassi’s resident whore. They sort of start to flirt and they go into the school.

The episode ends with Dylan and Marco having a heart to heart scene. Marco is apologizing about his dad and his anti gay shit. Dylan tells him that it wasn’t a big deal and that they’ve both heard worse. Marco was afraid that Dylan wouldn’t want to talk to him again. He says that he considered it, but ultimately he likes Marco and to prove the point he kisses him. Good thing they were in a back alley or else everyone would have seen them.

So yeah, this episode was very gay and Degrassi delivered. I enjoyed the episode and it was good to see Spinner finally mature. Even though he was playing with toys. Plus the whole JT commercial was pretty amusing as well. In the future Degrassi will go really queer, so this episode here wasn’t shit compared to future episodes and seasons. Now that I think about it, I believe this was Degrassi’s first gay kiss. But certainly not the last.


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Season 3, Episode, 18 “Rock and Roll High School”

Welcome back to another episode review of Degrassi. Call me crazy, but I’ve always enjoyed this episode for some inexplicable reason. I mean, it has shitty singing from both Craig and Ashley, but got damn it, this is still a good one.

Pre-Credit Opener: Marco, Spinner and Jimmy happen to find Craig just staring at an ad on the school wall. Turns out it’s for a battle of the bands and the prize is to win studio time to record a single that no one will ever hear. The dudes much like Joey Jeremiah have delusions of grandeur. Ashley comes along and tells the guys to get out of the way because they’re signing up too. Craig tries to make nice but Ashley is obviously still angry about Craig porking and getting Manny pregnant. She predicts that the girls are going to kick their ass off the stage.

In Joey’s garage Craig is struggling to write some lyrics and it’s clear that he’s talentless. The rest of the guys walk in and Marco is seriously wimping out telling everyone that the girls are really good at playing emo rock. Well they do have the power to ward off sexual predators. Craig tells the guys that there is no fucking way that he’s going to allow Ashley to beat them. They start to jam and Craig starts to go off on everyone because they suck. Jimmy tells him to chill out before he breaks a foot up in his ass.

At Degrassi, Paige is telling the girls that Terri is doing much better, she might even open her eyes soon. Shit that is not doing better. She’s basically an invalid. Ashley for some reason hasn’t even gone to see her. That’s pretty low considering they were once best friends. Mrs Kwan walks in and Ashley starts to read lyrics from a song she just wrote and what a surprise it’s a downer. Craig starts to giggle and this mightily pisses Ashley off. Outside of class Ashley explains to the girls that it’s about a girl who died in the Spanish Civil War. Out of all the wars that have happened why that one and what 15, 16 year old girl talks about shit like that? Ellie tells her that it sucked and that it’s supposed to be about something about her. Ashley makes the song about Craig, again, what a surprise.

We cut to the B plot and it involves Joey and Caitlin.  Joey’s busy getting his grocery’s out of the truck of his used car that he drives around from his lot and that’s when Caitlin arrives in a cab. Angela is so excited to see her that she drops and breaks the eggs. Joey is super pissed because this means that he has to go to the dollar store again to get more. She starts to cry rather badly because she’s a horrible actress and Caitlin tries to cheer her up by doing a cartwheel. Joey tries to show that he’s fun and does a hand stand. Then he promptly busts his ass and hurts his back bad.

At the Degrassi mall kiosk Ashley and Craig run into each other and he tries to apologize for what happened. But this is Craig we’re talking about and he only apologizes for making fun of her song and not fucking Manny’s brains out. She get’s even more offended and leaves huffing and puffing away. Craig reasons that Manny seduced him, so he’s blameless.

The next scene is at Joey’s house where he’s dying from his back pain. I’ve had that before and it’s the worst pain ever. So for once I sympathize with him. Angela playing with Caitlin jumps on Joey and hurts his back even more. He can’t stand no more so he’s sending Angela away to his mom’s until he feels better. But Caitlin says that she’ll stay and take care of the both of them. Joey pretty much says that she’s not up to taking care of Angela because she’s a pain in the ass. But still she insists on helping. So she yells out to Angela and with crazy eyes says that she’s taking care of them both.

I guess we’re at the auditions for the battle of the bands and the guys are just doing an instrumental because they have no lyrics to their song yet. Craig all nervous says that he’ll take care of it. Coach Armstrong announces the next group and they’re called Hell Hath No Fury. The girls then come on and Ashley proceeds to destroy Craig and his character.

I’m already bored with the Joey, Caitlin subplot. Angela is being a little shit again and tells Caitlin that she doesn’t want to eat the slop that she made for breakfast. So Caitlin being stupid makes her some pancakes instead of telling her to eat her bowl of crap.

In Snake’s class, Craig walks in all pissed off and he tells Ashley that her lyrics weren’t cool. I don’t know why he’s so upset for, their song wasn’t even that great. Ashley and Ellie starts to say that he’s so vain because he thinks that the song is about him. Craig points out the obvious that Ashley is a bitter angry person and if she wasn’t such a prude, he never would have banged Manny. Which is the truth. Ashley all sarcastic says, ” But I thought you loved her.” It seems like Craig is about to tell her to go fuck herself but Snake tells them to shut up.

In the next scene Craig is telling the guys that he’s out of the competition, but Spinner says that if Ashley wants a war then she has it. We then get a horrible, lame rap that it’s obvious that Drake wrote it. Basically it’s about how much Ashley sucks as a person. Marco of course doesn’t like it and he takes him outside for some advice. Marco’s solution? For Craig to scream all his stress out. Yeah, that’ll do it.

Back to Joey’s house, Angela is now acting like a spoiled little shithead and tells Joey that her day out shopping was just ok even though she got a lot of new toys courtesy of Caitlin. She then announces that she’s going outside to play, but Caitlin tells her to wash up since it’s almost dinner time. Angela ignores her and starts to go out anyways. that’s when Caitlin finally get’s pissed off and tells her to get her ass upstairs and to wash her filthy hands. Angela says, “I hate you.” and goes upstairs stomping her damn feet. Joey of course being a big push over does nothing to punish his rotten little daughter.

Finally it’s time for the Battle of the Bands and the girls are wearing Craig on their shirts and it seems like his face is melting like on Raiders of the Lost Ark. Craig has had it with her petty shit and he starts to whine about how she won’t stop making his life a living hell. She starts to go off on him and says that he broke her heart when he fucked Manny into motherhood and says that she wanted to die because she’s emo as hell. Craig says that he’s sorry and says how many times he has to say it. Ashley all full of sass says, “Until you mean it.”

Ashley and the girls are then seen performing their ode to Craig and the crowd is just loving it. Outside it seems that Craig has flown the coop because he’s nowhere to be seen. Spinner says that they’ll be ok and they’ll use his lyrics instead.

The MC for the event comes out and he looks like Anton LaVey from the Church of Satan. (Google him) Oh we finally find out what their band name is and it’s The Downtown Sasquatch. I gotta say, I like it. Spinner makes an ass of himself and before he can embarrass himself further Craig comes out with a sheet of paper. It’s obvious he finally wrote the lyrics for their song. It’s pretty much about how he just realized how much he hurt Ashley and he feels like a complete pile of shit because of it. It’s hilarious to me that he just barely figured out that he broke Ashley’s heart. I gotta say, even though Craig sucks, it’s a very catchy tune.

We close out the B plot and Joey tells Caitlin that kids like Angela need limits and be told what to do. Caitlin sort of feels better for yelling at his annoying kid.

And so after just two bands the battle of the bands is over and the dudes are triumphant! Ashley comes by and tells Craig that his lyrics were just right. So shit, it seems like finally Ashley is over her heart break. And if you ask me, it’s about time.

So yeah, like I said, this was a good, entertaining episode. Even though I hate myself for sort of liking Craig’s song. True, the whole subplot with Angela and Caitlin was irritating as hell, but it was small enough that it didn’t effect the rest of the episode.


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Season 3, Episode 17, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”

So we return to an Episode that “Goes There”. That’s right this is the big Terri get’s fucked up by her boyfriend episode. I’m not sure, but I believe this is the last episode she’s featured in, or maybe she makes one last appearance as the season concludes. But who cares. Let’s see how Terri get’s taken out of Degrassi. Man, what a DeBummer.

Pre-Credit Opener: We open up with Paige telling the gang that she has her parents mini van for the weekend and you know what that means. Party!! Everyone is super excited except for Terri because she doesn’t have that special someone to go on what’s most likely going to be a lame road trip. Hazel tells her, “You’ll be with all of your friends idiot!” Paige tells her to bring someone and we all know who Terri is thinking of bringing along because she is indeed an idiot.

Oh what a surprise. Yet again Mrs Kwan is teaching something that isn’t remotely related to language class. I would say she’s more of a life skills teacher. I remember when I was in Jr High we had a class called Life Skills class. And it was pretty much stupid shit like this. Rick and Terri become partners for a trust exercise and yeah, it’s pretty predictable. They each fall into each other’s arms and with that, Rick weasel’s his way into Terri’s heart again.

After class Rick tells Terri that he wanted to call her to apologize for beating the hell out of her, but he was too much of a chicken shit to do it. He goes on to say that he misses her and the fact that she hung out with Paige all the time made stalking her hard. Terri just leaves and says she’ll talk to him later.

In Snake’s class Marco is being a little brown noser and tells him that the sub that they had sucked ass and they’re all glad that he’s back. Snake is back to his old self. At least he’s not a dick anymore. Oh lord Marco and Ellie have a night of watching an Indian movie double feature. What a couple of bores I swear. Ashley points out to Ellie that Sean like most normal teenage boys wouldn’t sit through that kind of boring bullshit. Ellie says, “Why would Sean come?” Ashley points out that they are sort of seeing each other, but Ellie is adamant that things haven’t changed between her and Marco just because she’s seeing Sean now. Yeah, we all know this isn’t going to end well.

At Caitlin’s TV station Sean walks into Caitlin and Ellie’s bull session. Sean cuts to the chase and he wants to watch a new movie called Elimination Round 3. Ellie says that she wants to go with him, but she realized that she has a boring evening with Marco planned already. What’s a girl to do?

We cut to The Dot and everyone is disgusted and pissed off at Terri for bringing Rick along to their sacred hangout. Paige all full of fury says that she’s not going to be driving that asshole around all day long. Spinner points out that it’s better that they come along since they’ll be able to keep an eye on them.

Ha! The poster to Elimination Round 3 features a bald black dude and none other than motherfucking Yick Yu! Marco and Ellie come along and right away he’s acting like such a woman. Sean much like I would be in that situation is disappointed that she brought him along.

So it’s finally time for the big road trip and it seems like they just went to the local Degrassi park. Rick sit’s his ass on the hood of the van and tells Terri to come and join him. Paige all annoyed tells him to get the hell off before he and Terri put the mother of all dents on it.

Back at the movie Marco and Ellie are acting like a couple of assholes. You can tell that they think that they’re sophisticated and that an action movie is beneath them. Jay get’s so annoyed at them that he throws popcorn at Marco. Sean then reaches for some popcorn but he touches Marco’s hand instead. He probably wants to boil it because he thinks he has gay now.

The scene cuts back to the park and Paige is fuming and you can tell she’s about to blow. Rick goes to get what I’m assuming is food for Terri. She takes that as an opportunity to talk to her about Rick. Terri being a fool says that he apologized. Paige getting more irritated by the minute shouts out, “Of course, that’s what his kind does!” Rick comes out of nowhere and starts to tell Paige that she has no right to tell Terri who she can be friends with and that she’s a backstabber. I don’t know how she is in that situation. It’s not like she ever fucked Rick over like she did to Manny and Hazel. Anyways, Paige goes on to call him a psycho and Rick loses it and kicks Paige’s mini van and leaves. Terri being on Rick’s side starts to yell at Paige. She pretty much says that she’s sick of her shit and constantly being told what to do. Paige having enough yells at her to go after him if she’s such a bad friend. I gotta say, I’ve been in Paige’s situation before with people like Terri. Especially when they get back together with someone they know is toxic. It’s very annoying and frustrating, but you can’t control people. Even if they are fucking stupid.

Out in some field where a bunch of bricks are just laying around, Rick is going crazy kicking at the air in anger. Terri starts to apologize about Paige but Rick cuts off her shouting, “She does not matter!” Terri says, “Calm down day time Emmy.” He does and goes on to say that he’s happy that they’re together again. After they kiss, Terri starts to pull him along and says to just ignore Paige. He tugs her back all aggressive and says he’d rather walk back. Terri points out that it’s far walk. Rick says that she called him a psycho. Paige tells Rick that that’s just Paige being herself, which is a bitch. Rick now is starting to get more aggravated and says, “What? That makes it ok? My feelings mean nothing to you?” Terri starts to panic from his vise like grip thanks to him hulking out due to anger again. She says that she’s going back because he’s hurting her. At that he loses it and yells, “You’re not going! You’re not!!” And then pushes her and Terri fucking splits her head open falling on top of one of the random cinder blocks just lying around. At this point Rick makes a shocked face because he knows that he went way over the line. He went up to 11 with that fury.

We cut back to Paige and she’s clearly worried about Terri because it’s been awhile since she left. They come out of the bushes and spot Rick kneeling next to Terri’s carcass. Rick looking like OJ with Terri’s blood all over his hands panics and runs away. I love how Spinner made no attempt to chase him and stomp his ass into the ground. Instead he runs to get his cell phone.

At Degrassi Mr Raditch is telling the entire class that Terri was maimed that weekend and is in the hospital until further notice. Marco starts to ask Snake if it was an accident and Spinner cuts him off by saying that it wasn’t an accident. Ashley wonders out loud if Rick is in jail. Snake tells everyone since he’s a minor he’s not allowed to talk about any specifics. Spinner tells him that if he see’s Rick, his ass is grass. Oh lord Snake then says, “We can talk about our feelings together.” I’m with Spinner, get the fuck out of here with that hippy bullshit Snake. Paige busts out this lame looking get well card for Terri and everyone signs it.

Back to the B plot, Ellie is telling Marco that she doesn’t really want to go visit Terri since she didn’t even know her. And you know what? Why should she? Marco offers to go with her and that’s when Sean comes by and get’s instantly annoyed at seeing Marco next to Ellie. He makes a major alpha move and makes Marco move out of the way. It’s hilarious. Ellie now pissed off leaves Sean by himself and goes with Marco. Ellie doesn’t seem to know how to act in a relationship.

The next scene is at the local Degrassi hospital. Terri is so messed up that she’s now in a coma. Terri’s dad comes along and tells Spinner and Paige that she’ll be having surgery later on in the night because she has a blood clot. He then starts to go off on Rick and he can’t believe that little prick would hurt his daughter like he did. By the look on their faces he picks up on the fact that they knew that he was being abusive towards her.  Understandably he yells at the both of them and asks why the hell didn’t they say anything. The both of them just leave with tears in their eyes.

Outside The Dot Paige stops her mini van and starts to cry. Spinner tells her that she’s going to be ok and gives her a little smooch. At that Paige aggressively starts to make out with him. Even Spinner being a big horn dog isn’t down for this shit. Paige of course get’s all pissed off and starts with the blame game. She goes on to say that none of this would have happened if Spinner would have just left them behind like she wanted to. Spinner now angry blurts out the fact that she’s the one who told her to go off with him. Check mate!

Inside, Ellie is telling Marco that she should dump Sean because he’s being rude towards Marco. Marco points out that the only rude one in that relationship is her. Plus he’s tired of being her security blanket and feeling like a third wheel. I think he just doesn’t want to hang out with Sean’s scumbag friends.

All dejected, Spinner makes his way back to Degrassi and then he spots Rick waiting inside a car. Spinner get’s super pissed and drags his ass out. Rick starts to yell, “Spinner stop!” Spinner asks him if he stopped when he ravaged Terri. Paige then comes along pleading for him to stop too. Rick’s mom then comes out of the school and tells them to leave her son alone. Spinner just leaves crying. Ugh! I would have been like Kevin Dillon’s character in Platoon and told Spinner, “Fucking pussy! He’s laughing at you!” I would have beat the shit out Rick. But you know, this is Degrassi and it wants to teach that an eye for an eye is not the way. Spinner sits on a bench and starts to cry to Paige that he’s no different than Rick. Paige tells him that he is different because he stopped himself. *Eye roll* Whatever.

We conclude the B plot by Sean and Ellie having a conversation about their relationship. They both think that they’re dumping each other. Ellie tells him that she’s sorry for being a horrible girlfriend, and then she says, “You haven’t been a great boyfriend either.” I don’t know how she figures this, but Sean knowing better just agrees with her craziness and says that he doesn’t hate Marco, he just wants to date her.

At the hospital Terri’s dad comes out and tells them that they don’t know if she’s brain damaged or not. They all apologize for their behavior and Paige says that they should have said something. He makes them feel better by saying that they’re good friends.

Man, I must be rusty, this took me about two hours to write. Ridiculous. But this was a pretty good episode. I guess we had to have a domestic violence story and Degrassi delivered. I still say Rick should have had his balls cut off for what he did. Another frustrating thing is that we never found out if Rick was punished or not. But this is Degrassi after all and they always like to leave things open ended.


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Season 3, Episode 16, “Take On Me”

Ok all you Degrassi maniacs, this episode is possibly one of the worst episodes of the series. Definitely the worst one for this season. This is an episode that make’s me think, “Well this is unpleasant. Why do I want to be here?”

Pre-Credit Opener: Ellie comes up to the school and makes a face that pretty much shows that she doesn’t want to be there. We then see that she has some OCD thing because she starts to flick a rubber band she has on her wrist. Man she’s more fucked up than I thought. In the cafeteria Mr Raditch walks in dressed like a Mississippi Pimp. No, he’s obviously trying to dress like the asshole teacher was in The Breakfast Club. The students there are Sean, Ellie, Jimmy, Hazel and Toby. Anyways, Raditch just lays down the law and tells them to study and to think about why they’re there. Sean being a rebel burps at him as he’s walking out.

Being lameo’s they actually do what Raditch tells them to do. Except for Sean. Sean is just throwing his prized rubber ball against a wall, annoying everyone. Jimmy can’t stand it and just has to say something. Sean tells him to fuck off and throws the ball up. It knocks down a part of the ceiling almost killing Ellie. But Ellie does’t care about her well being, she just cares that it fell on her emo bag. Sean goes to see if everything is alright and Ellie acts all strange like she doesn’t want anyone near her bag.

I guess they don’t want to get into trouble so the guys are trying to put the ceiling tile back. But because Toby is a useless idiot he can’t get it back in. All of a sudden they get unbalanced and fall to the floor killing Toby. Yes! The moment that I’ve been waiting for. But no, they just fell and didn’t even get hurt. The episode would have been much better if it was one of those situations where they killed Toby and they got rid of his body and they all made a pact never to talk about it again. But they would never do something awesome like that. By the way, the stunt person they used for Toby looks hilariously bad. Anyways, Ellie helps Sean up and they seem to have a connection. Just like Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald!

Barely an hour has passed and Hazel is complaining about the Saturday detention taking an eon to be finished. Sean rolls his eyes and she says, “Some of us have social engagements.” Sean responds with, “Like what? Combing Paige’s ass hairs?” Jimmy acting like Emilo Estevez tells him to back his shit off. Ignoring him because Sean can easily kick his ass as we’ve seen in past seasons, he wonders out loud what Hazel did to end up in Saturday detention. Ellie all of a sudden says that she got caught skipping class. They all make a face like they don’t care and who asked her. Jimmy goes on to say that he’s there because gopher balls over on the other table fucked up hacking the school computer and ratted him out. Hazel meanwhile avoids the question and runs to the rest room instead.

Oh lord. Radich must be at the peak of his homosexuality and is working out with some tight work out clothes and listening to some disco music in the school gym. Hazel walks in and he’s obviously embarrassed that she saw him doing his jazzercize .

Later on the five of them have become so bored that they start to play truth or dare. Seems like it’s Hazel’s turn and she says that she choose’s truth. Ellie right away wants to know why she’s there. Hazel being odd about it doesn’t want to say and says that she wants to do dare instead. Of course they pick out the worst dare that anyone could have come up with. She has to kiss Toby. Disgusted at first she decides to take a bite out of her shit sandwich and walks over to him. The cheesiest sexy music comes on and and she gives him a kiss while Toby is making a face that he can’t believe that a hot girl like Hazel would ever kiss a fucking dweeb like him.

Outside the school Snake is coming out of his car still looking like Lex Luthor but is looking much better. Seems like he’s finally coming back to work.

Back to the lame Breakfast Club, Toby is telling Hazel that JT is going to be so jealous after he hears that he kissed Hazel. Hazel tells him that he’s not telling him shit. Sean asks her what her problem is since it was just a stupid dare. Jimmy speaking for all of us, especially me says, “Because she’s too embarrassed to say that she macked with a total geek.” Toby knowing that he’s hated by all leaves all disappointed and back to his spot under the stairs like the troll that he is. Sean now pissed off starts to get mad at her and says that she’s a person who follows all the rules and doesn’t have the balls to tell anyone why she’s there. After Sean starts hounding her Hazel admits that she got caught looking at porn on the school computer, much to the delight of all of them.

To make the time go by fast they start to play games where they’re throwing shit at Toby. I told you, no one likes him. Snake comes in and asks them what is going on in there. Jimmy tells him that they’re all there because Mr Raditch gave them all Saturday’s. Snake then tells everyone that he’s all done with chemo and he’s ready to work again. He just doesn’t want to be stuck at home with Spike and her Devil child. So who can blame him.

Sean sits next to Ellie and he asks her what’s up with her and the rubber bands. Ellie tells him that it’s a therapy technique to help her stop cutting herself. Sean being genuinely interested asks her why she cuts herself. Being emo as hell, she tells him that it’s the only pain that she could control. He says that it makes sense and she tells him that he’s the first person to say that. She goes on to say that people talk about him too and his reputation for stealing shit from the school. He pretty much admits that he does steal. Just as Jimmy is impaling Toby with a stick Radich walks in and is super pissed to see them goofing off. Ah, we finally see why Ellie was careful with her bag, she has a tape recorder there. Why she would want to record them is beyond me, they’re all so boring.

And we quickly get the answer to that in the next scene. Seems that she’s taping them for some stupid report for either the school paper or Caitlin’s TV station. So wow, Raditch has put each of them in separate rooms for the rest of the day. That’s pretty illegal to do, especially since he’s not even supervising them. Ellie comes into each room and talks everyone into breaking out and wandering around the school. So yeah, we get a lame montage of the five of them doing wacky stupid shit around the school. Eventually they find an elevator that leads to the roof.

Being a big puss Toby is telling them that he doesn’t think that it’s such a good idea. Hazel tells him, “Stop being a bitch and come on!” Hazel wonders out loud if they’re the only ones that have gone up there. Jimmy finds a necklace making it obvious that other people have been up there before. Being romantic he gives the dirty thing to Hazel because she loves it so much. Jimmy then decides to go for it and kisses her. Else where Sean tells Ellie that he thinks that she’s cute. Sean goes on to say that she doesn’t seem afraid of him. Ellie points out that Sean isn’t freaked out by all of her problems either. I guess this is her being romantic, she exposes her arm and shows Sean all of her hideous scars. Because he’s cool, Sean just holds her hand.

Alone because who would want to be with Toby, he sees Mr Raditch and Snake walking out, talking about all the bad behavior from the students lately. Snake tells him that they’re acting like the police. They should educate them yes, discipline them when it’s needed. But that life is too short and he shouldn’t be trying to control them. It seems like he took what Snake said to heart but then he see’s Toby up there because he’s a stupid fuck. Raditch makes a run for it, while the rest of the Degrassi kids do the same.

The rest of them make it to their respective class rooms but stupid Sean locked his own door for some reason. Jimmy tries to help but it’s too late. Sean just tells him to go just as Jimmy opens the door. But uh oh, as he’s running in he drops the keys that Raditch finds as soon as he goes into the hallway. Back in the cafeteria, Raditch is chewing them all out. Since no one is going to rat the person who did it, he decides to give them all Saturday’s for another three weeks. But he seem’s to have a change of heart and just says that he’s trying to do the right thing with them. At that Toby tells him that it was him who took the keys. He tells him that he appreciates his honesty and then tells the rest of them to go home and enjoy their weekends.

Jimmy tells him that he didn’t expect for Toby to be a man and he finally gives him that high five that he was waiting for in the previous episodes. Ellie says that they should take a group photo. As she’s taking out her camera, the tape recorder falls out and they all hear Sean and Ellie’s conversation. They all get disgusted at her and she explains that it was for the TV station. Toby’s all, “You were recording us?” But please, no one gives two fucks for Toby. Sean quickly figures out that it’s about all the thefts that has been happening around the school. Sean pissed off destroy’s her tiny tape with his boot and leaves fuming. Man, Ellie is going to cut the shit out of her arm now.

Seems like it’s Monday and Jimmy and Hazel are now a couple. As they pass by she says hi to Toby. JT noticing that someone cool actually talked to him asks what happened there that past Saturday. Ellie comes by Sean’s locker and says that she was wrong for what she did. But she really wants the connection that she had with him on the roof. She gives him another tape and says that there isn’t going to be a story. Sean having warmed up to her holds her hand and Ellie is happier than a pig in shit.

So yeah, this episode fucking sucked and it was a chore just to make a recap of it. It was such an unoriginal idea and they probably figured that any kid watching this has never seen or heard of The Breakfast Club before. I will admit that it was key in that two relationships blossomed from it and Toby is now being acknowledged as being a Human. But that wasn’t enough to save this shitastic episode. It was such bad TV and I hate the writers of this show for ripping off and ruining The Breakfast Club for life.