Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 1, Episode 15, “Jagged Little Pill”

Well here it is peeps. The season finale to the first season.

Pre-Credit Opener: Apparently Ashley and Toby are going to be left alone for the night because their parents are going to go away to Hedonism II. Her mom tells her that they’re both only allowed to have one friend over each. Her mom tells her that she’s glad that she’s so responsible and Ashley doesn’t like to hear that one bit. I don’t know why though. Like she would prefer her mom to come down on her for being a major fuck up instead.

Ashley

In Mrs Kwan’s room, she’s giving out corny awards to all of her students. At least I’m assuming that she is. Anyways, she gives one to Spinner for being a horrible, annoying student. In Snake’s class, Snake is telling everyone how much he enjoyed having them in his class. Emma being a big kiss ass shows her something on her computer and it’s a thank you message featuring not even all of the kids in the class. But just like Saved by the Bell, we only know the featured cast. Let’s see, it’s Toby without his glasses on. Brain dead kid, Asian girl with a bandanna on her head. Liberty, JT, nameless sad kid looking down, Manny, nameless girl, Sean, Emma and black dude that looks like he’s eating Emma’s pig tail. It’s hilarious to see the pic they used of Sean, he looks all pissed off. Back to Mrs Kwan’s, Ashley is disappointed again because she got the most prudish student award, or something similar.

Mr Simpson

At their lockers Paige mentions to Ashley how disappointed Jimmy will be that he won’t be able to come over because Ashley already told Terri that she’s the one friend that can come. But Jimmy doesn’t seem to give a shit, he just says, “Rules are rules right?” Which sounds lame as hell. Paige can’t help being annoying and keeps inviting herself over. Ashley not wanting to hear more of her bitching tells her to come over if she wants to. She’s such a rebel now.

Ashley, Paige, Terri

In the school foyer, JT asks Emma what they’ll be up to and Emma says that they’ll be having a girls night and no boys can come around. Especially dudes named Sean. He hears this and instantly looks heart broken. While cleaning out their lockers Toby is being completely delusional again because he thinks that Emma has now seen what a bad boy is like and that she’ll be more prone to go out with a geek with no social status like himself. JT mentions that he needs a new approach like Sean’s and he just happens to walk by when JT invites him over for a guys night. But Sean is like, “Oh hell naw!” He quickly changes his mind when JT lies to him and says that Emma’s going to be there. Which makes no sense because he just said it was a guy’s night out.

Sean, Toby, JT

Finally it’s after school and fucking Paige not listening to Ashley has now brought Hazel along to hang out with them too. You know, I’ve always hated when you invite people over for shit and then they bring someone else who you either don’t like, or you don’t know them at all. Ashley doesn’t mind though because she’s still trying to be a rebel. We then hear this big explosion coming from the kitchen and apparently JT and Toby were doing a nerd science experiment. JT see’s Paige and instantly get’s a boner for her.

Now that it’s night time, the girls are watching a horror movie in 3D. I’m just assuming that it’s Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D. Ashley hears a knock on the door and automatically assumes that Paige’s motormouth invited someone else, but she assures her that she didn’t. Turns out that it’s Sean and Ashley is very surprised that he’s there to hang out with those two dweebs upstairs. After he goes up, Paige mentions how much he’s become a fine piece of man meat after he fought Jimmy. Everyone, including Ashley laughs in agreement. Way to be loyal there Ashley.

Ashley, Paige, Terri, Hazel

In Toby’s room the three of them are having a boring evening of playing go fish. JT then asks him for his secrets in bagging a babe. But Sean after assuming that JT and Toby were the Bert and Ernie of Degrassi, just gives the typical confident guy response of just being himself. JT all proud of himself busts out some Ecstasy or simply E as they call it. JT says that it’s the love drug and mentions that the girls downstairs need it. He sounded like such a rapist right there. Sean offers to cut it up for them and he heads for the kitchen.

JT

Sean runs into Ashley and she’s shocked and appalled that he has some Ecstasy with him. He get’s some aspirin and cuts that up instead because he correctly assumes that they’re both plenty fucking stupid and they won’t know the difference. He tells her to throw that shit away, but she simply just puts it in the pocket of her old lady house coat she has on.

Back upstairs, he gives them their halves of the aspirin and explains that he can’t have some himself because his social workers makes him take drug tests and he has to take a piss in a cup in front of them about every two weeks. While he’s munching on a snack, he can’t help laughing at how stupid the two of them are.

Man, Ashley is still in the kitchen preparing these elaborate drinks and snacks for her guests. That’s when Paige walks in and she just has to mention how fucking boring the evening is, even though no one invited her. She says, “Hun, you just need to live a little, because you’re pretty cool when you do.” (I just wanna point out that Paige uses the word Hun all the time and it get’s annoying. Especially when she’s being really bitchy.) Ashley not liking being called boring decides to give in to her peer pressure and invites Jimmy and a bunch of other people over for a party. And because she’s still feeling rebellious, she takes the Ecstasy pill.

Paige, Ashley

In Toby’s room JT and Toby are acting like a couple of dumb fucks because they think they’re high. (Remember when Melanie and Kathleen did the same thing in Degrassi Junior High?) JT then takes the opportunity to call Emma, much to Sean’s excitement. Downstairs meanwhile Ashley is the one who’s now incredibly high and they all notice the change in her.

Outside, that was fast, Emma, Manny and Liberty knock on her door and Ashley for once and thanks to drugs is actually nice to Liberty for a change. They do notice how crazy she’s acting. I love the big ass head phones that Manny is rocking. Ashley then turns on the radio and starts to act like a deranged person with Liberty. It’s clear that Liberty has no rhythm.

Liberty, Manny, Ashley

Upstairs we hear this really stupid Sitar music and JT is still thinking that he’s high as fuck. Apparently he believes that if you use Ecstasy you become an east Indian Yogi with the way he’s talking to Emma and them. Case in point, “Welcome to the Issac’s zone of infinite love and harmony.” What a tool.

JT. Manny

Downstairs Jimmy and his crew walk in and Spinner for some inexplicable reason is carrying a watermelon. I know when I think of a great party, watermelons are always involved. Of course right away Jimmy notices that Ashley isn’t acting like her boring, predictable, prudish self. She slobbers in his ear that she took some Ecstasy. Now it’s Jimmy’s turn to act all shocked and appalled. She mentions that she got it from Toby and JT, throwing them under the bus. He tells her to go drink some water but she pulls away from him. She calls him dad and says that she’s going upstairs to drink some water out of the toilet. I love how none of them even bother to go up with her.

Spinner, Jimmy Ashley, Jimmy

Back in Toby’s room Sean walks in and Emma immediately leaves the room all upset. Sean tells her that he wants to talk, but she just says that he went too far. So he pushed her into the leaves, big deal. But she leaves in a huff, saying that they’re over and that’s when Ashley comes out of the bathroom wiping her mouth. Which means that she either gave someone a blow job or she did indeed drink from out of the toilet. Because Sean is the strong sensitive type, she notices that he’s now crying over googly eyed Emma. She feels so sorry for him then she takes him into her bedroom.

Emma, Sean

Inside Ashley starts going on a drug induced rant about hating how people see her and that he probably feels the same way because he’s such a bad seed. He starts to say that he thought that Emma was different and that’s when she compares her to Jimmy. Uh oh. He continues to cry and that’s when she starts to make out with him with a lot of tongue and possibly toilet water. Or worse, yuck!

Ashley, Sean

Back downstairs Jimmy tells Toby that Ashley took the Ecstasy. He quickly realizes that they’ve both been making asses out of themselves the whole evening. Toby then let’s it slip that Ashley is actually upstairs with Sean. Jimmy goes up all pissed off and just happens to see him coming out of Ashley’s room. Instead of kicking Jimmy’s ass again, because let’s face it. He would have killed him again, he just leaves. Ashley comes out looking like she’s just been freshly plowed by Sean.

Jimmy, Ashley

Outside Emma is outside crying and being dramatic. Toby comes out to apologize to her about Sean and that’s when he comes out. Just to spite him, she latches on to Toby and starts crying and hugging him at the same time. I say spite because under normal circumstances, she would never want him touching her. Toby and Sean just look at each other before Sean leaves even more sad then he was at the beginning of the episode.

Toby, Ashley

Back at the party Jimmy is demanding to know where Sean is at, but Spinner tells him that he left a while ago. Like Jimmy would have done something. That’s when Ashley goes through another drug induced rant and she basically cut’s Jimmy’s balls off by saying how much Sean is more than a man then he is. Before he can leave in anger, she mentions to him that she should have broken up with him on his birthday like she wanted to. Ouch, that had to fucking hurt! Paige not minding her own business tells her to stop acting like a hag. Ashley then goes on to say that she is the hag because of her looks and her shitty personality. Glad someone finally called her out on it, even though it is drug induced. They all leave pissed off of course, except for Terri.

Drake Paige Ashley, Terri

The next morning Ashley witnesses the aftermath of her destructive behavior. For so little people that were there, they sure trashed the place. Unless it was her acting like a maniac the whole night. Toby starts to give her shit about what she was thinking taking that shit, even though he and that asshole JT were fully planning on using it themselves. They probably figured that they would have just simply jerked each other off than do what Ashley did. Spinner comes by and brings her a shoe box full of mementos from Jimmy. She asks him how he is, but he just tells her to take it and to leave Jimmy alone because he hates her guts now. The episode ends with Ashley crying her eyes out. I swear the version that aired on the N had their parents arriving and Toby trying to do damage control. But we don’t get that with the DVD’s. Oh well, who cares.

Ashley, End Credits

This episode was ok. I guess Degrassi had to have a drug episode and this was it. At least it wasn’t the typical caffeine pill cop out that most teen shows use, including Degrassi High. But that is it with the first season. Over all, the first season had too much Toby and JT and those episodes always sucked. There were a couple of stand outs, but mainly it was a lame first season. But things do get much better in the second.

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Season 1, Episode 14, “Under Pressure”

Pre-credit opener: We come upon Sean fixing some motorcycle while his brother Tracker is quizzing him for a test it seems like and Sean is getting all the answers wrong. Sean get’s all frustrated and Tracker tells him to take it easy since it’s hard to remember all that history. But it really isn’t. Anyways, Tracker tells him that their mom called and he mentions that she was off of the booze. Tracker then tells him that she wants to talk to him. Sean instantly get’s all upset because he doesn’t want to move back to live with his lousy parents. He kicks all of Tracker’s used cans that he was going to take to recycle and he tells him to calm his ass down with that temper of his. Tracker then says not to worry about his mom. As long as he keeps out of trouble and get’s good grades he’ll be fine.

Sean, Tracker

At Degrassi JT is telling Toby that the Media Immersion test is going to be the death of him. Toby tells him to stop acting like a bitch and that’s when Liberty and Emma come by. Liberty suggests that JT’s lazy ass should study for the test. Sean then comes by in a panic and begs Emma for help studying. Of course she says sure. Liberty then spots Snake and cannot stop being super fucking annoying talking about her grades. But Snake for some reason won’t tell her to fuck off.

At Sean’s locker Jimmy tells him something about missing it and Sean instantly get’s all pissed off and tells him, “What is that supposed to mean?” Jimmy’s all, “Nothing, just that you’ll be moving to grade 8 next year. Finally.” That was awful. We come upon Spinner acting like an idiot as usual and is showing Paige his made dribbling skills. Paige tells him that they’ll be late because Raditch will expel him, but that’s what Spinner wants because he wants to get out of the English test. She says, “Hurry up, you know what a Fascist Raditch is.” They start to walk in and then back out in shock because Mrs Kwan is back. She says that some things never change, but she says it with a a smile. So maybe she won’t be such a mega bitch for the rest of the season.

Jimmy, Emma, SeanPaige, Spinner, Mrs Kwan

At the start of the class Raditch is telling everyone how glad everyone is for her to come back to Degrassi. He’s probably more happy cause he doesn’t have to teach anymore. But they don’t have sub’s there? Mr Colby must have effected policy big time at that school. Anyways, Terri being all nosey wants to know how her husband is and she tells everyone that her husband has finished his chemo and all is well. All of a sudden the gay kid Oscar raises his hand and asks to be excused because he’s feeling sick. (Ok, going off topic here for a bit, but I’m embarrassed to say that I heard somewhere, I don’t remember where, but they said that this guy was basically going to be the character of Marco next season, but they got rid of him. I think I know why, because when he said his line, he was horrible! So it’s pretty easy to see that he’s a very bad actor. Aren’t you glad you knew that? Really, no one should have known this info.) She tells him yes and you can see that Spinner now has a bright idea in his head for getting out of the test.

Oscar

We cut to Sean’s house because he has to get a book and it looks like he lives in Sanford and Son. What a fucking dump. It’s such a shit hole that Sean doesn’t want to let Emma inside because the place is a mess. So she waits and then Tracker pulls up in one of his many motorcycles and asks her what she’s doing there. All nervous she says waiting for Sean. Tracker then acts like a dick and says, “What do you think, that you’re going to be a good influence on him?” Emma seems more nervous then ever with that remark, but then he says smiling that she is a good influence. He mentions that he hasn’t gotten into trouble that year and he thanks her. She says, “Trouble?” But Tracker tells her to forget about it since it’s in the past. Sean then comes out wondering if Tracker threw him under the bus. But he clearly didn’t.

Emma, Tracker

At Emma’s house the both of them are busy cramming for Snake’s stupid Media Immersion test. Then then start to talk about code for web pages and it’s really boring as hell. They start playing around for a bit throwing a dish towel around and that’s when Emma decides to ask him about his checkered past. Sean get’s all annoyed and he spills the beans. He tells her that he got into a fight with a guy and Sean fucked him up so bad, that he deafened him in one ear. He tells her that he feels bad about it, but that sometimes he get’s so mad that he just hulks out. He assures her that he’s working on it.

Back at Degrassi Emma asks Sean if he’s nervous about the test and of course he is. Snake comes in and tells them that it’s time to start the test and the password is definitely an Easter egg for Degrassi Junior High fans. It’s Broomhead! Snake mentions that they only have 45 minutes to take the test and then the computer locks you out. Sean starts it and already you know he’s in trouble, his pizza face just says it all.

Broomhead

In Mrs Kwan’s class Paige is all annoyed with Spinner because he wants to get sick on purpose. Terri sneezes and Spinner get’s this evil grin on his face. He starts to creep her out by being all in her face and Coach Armstrong comes in telling everyone their test scores. Spinner is all happy cause he got 51% because I guess it’s passing in Canada. But over here, that is a big time F. Armstrong then tells Terri that she shouldn’t be drinking her coffee in her class and that’s when Spinner offers to throw it out for her. He shows what a heinous ass motherfucker he is by rubbing his finger all along the rim and then licks it. As a germ phobe this scene really grossed me out.

Spinner

Back to the Media Immersion class Sean is even more in despair and tries to answer another question but all of a sudden the computer locks him out because the time is up. He’s all, “NO!!!!” Liberty being all annoying tells him, “45 minutes. Times up!” He should have grabbed her by the face and pushed her back to her computer station. After class he’s telling Emma that he’s sure that he failed because he didn’t finish the goddamn test. Emma tries to reassure her, but he tells her to be real for once and that everything he’s ever tried he’s failed miserably. She tries to talk to him some more but he tells her to fuck off and to leave him alone.

Sean, Liberty, Emma

Later on in the hallway Sean is just looking at his locker and Jimmy says, “Aw, what’s wrong, forgot your combo? You should ask Spinner for one of his Ritalin, really helps sharpen the memory.” At that Sean can’t stands no more and he bursts. Once again he manhandles Drake and it seems like they’re about to fight but Armstrong comes out of a class room and stops them. Sean just says that they’re just playing around. As soon as he leaves he tells Jimmy that he’ll see him after school.

Coach Armstrong, Sean, Drake

In Mrs Kwan’s class she notices that Spinner is running around back and forth like a maniac. He walks in a moment later and he tells her that he doesn’t feel good. She feels his forehead and of course it’s all warm because of his running around so she sends him to the nurse. In the Media Immersion class, Ashley is giving Jimmy shit for wanting to fight Sean after school. Jimmy tells her that ever since school started Sean has been giving him major attitude. He didn’t start it, but he’s going to finish it. That’s when Paige comes up to them and tells them that she heard what Sean did to the other kid who’s now deaf.

Ashley, Paige, Jimmy

In Snake’s class Snake is busy taking roll call and we finally find out what JT stands for and it’s for James Tiberius. So it’s pretty clear that his parents are huge Star Trek nerds. Sean comes in all late and Snake points it out to him. He just says, “Yeah, like it’s the end of the world.” Snake punishes him for being sassy and sentence’s him to spending his lunch hour with him. Harsh much?

With the male school nurse, he takes Spinner’s temperature and he tells him that it’s normal. Spinner is desperate to get out of the test and insists that he has a fever. The nurse mentions that he does feel a little warm, but mentions that he also could have been just running around. Spinner insists that he is sick and suggests that the thermometer is broken. The school nurse then says that there’s a sure way to find out and that’s to find out rectally. He get’s a shit load of anal lube on his thermometer and prepares to shove it far up Spinner’s ass but he panics and says that he’s feeling fine. After he leaves the nurse laughs like an evil bastard.

School Nurse, Spinner

Spinner goes back to class and Mrs Kwan tells him that she knows what he tried to pull. But since she’s being nicer to everyone she gives him a second chance and tells him to just take the test. That things will come back to him. I don’t know about that, but he takes it.

Class is finally dismissed and Snake reminds Sean to stay behind. After everyone leaves Snake asks him what his fucking problem is. Sean just says that he’s being himself, which is being a huge fuck up. He tells Snake that he knows that he failed his test since he didn’t get a chance to finish it. Snake tells him that he hasn’t even marked it yet and he doesn’t know that yet. Sean then has a pity party of one and starts to put himself down. Snake trying to be an inspirational teacher tells him that if that’s how he thinks about himself, then that’s all he’s going to be. Wait, didn’t Yoda or someone say something similar? Fuck you Snake, get your own quotes.

Snake, Sean

Spinner comes out of Mrs Kwan’s class and is delighted to see that he actually passed his test. He’s super happy now cause he’s moving on to high school. Jimmy then comes out of the class room and Ashley is still being all annoying over the fight. They run into Sean and he just says, “Jimmy, let’s go.” Jimmy acting like a big puss tries to get out of it saying that it’s stupid. Sean knows how to egg him on and says, “No wonder Armstrong cut you from the team.” Jimmy insulted at this get’s all pissed off and tells him to meet him in the alley for their rumble. Funny how Ashley is being a pest about it, while Emma just stands there and doesn’t say a thing.

Ashley, Jimmy, Emma, Spinner

It’s now time for the bout to knock the other guy out. They start with the typical pushing around and right away Sean has had enough and fucking punches Jimmy in the face. Sean shouts at him, “What’re you going do cry now Jimmy huh.” It’s clear that Jimmy doesn’t know how to fight. He rushes him and Sean easily get’s him in a head lock. Suddenly Jimmy get’s out of it and get’s him from behind, but Sean just pushes against a garage door it seems like and he launches the both of them into a pile of leaves. Sean then get’s out of Jimmy’s grasp and hits him hard on the face again. With that hit Jimmy instantly becomes his bitch and Sean is just about to annihilate his ass some more but that’s when Emma tries to break it up. Bad move there. Sean is like a wild animal at this point and in his rage he tells her to get out of there and shoves her onto the leaves. That seemed to have sobered him up and he now can’t believe what he just did. She just get’s up and leaves without saying a word. And that was pretty much the end of the fight.

Jimmy, Punched Sean, Jimmy Emma Sean

The next morning Jimmy is telling Terri all about it and calls Sean a coward for walking away. But I don’t know why he’s talking shit for because he lost the fight. Big time! Sean is completely unharmed while it’s obvious that Sean totaled Jimmy’s ass. Check out the huge shiner on his face. Ashley then mocks him for being so brave because he got into the fight to begin with. Terri then asks Paige how the test was and she tells her that it was brutal. That’s when Terri tells her that she has to make it up after school. Spinner is laughing because he’s home free and mentions that he’s going somewhere with his dad. But that’s when he starts sneezing. Terri tells him that that’s how her flu started. Seems like his weekend is pretty much ruined now.

Jimmy Spinner, Terri, Paige

Outside his class room Snake tells Sean that he actually did well on the test. Sean can’t believe his ears, especially that he has a B in the class now. Snake goes inside and Emma passes by with Manny. Sean begs her to stop and tells her how sorry he is for what he did. He mentions his grade and that she was right all along. He then tells her sorry. But all Emma has to say to him is, “So am I.”

Sean, End Credits

This was another good episode. I think it was a pretty realistic fight and the Spinner subplot was a bit funny as well. And I think a lot of people just love the thought of Drake getting his ass kicked on TV


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Season 1, Episode 13, “Cabaret”

Pre-credit opener: We come upon Ashley playing her piano while Terri is busy worshiping Satan on the computer. She wants to conjure demons or some shit but Ashley tells her that she’s busy at the moment. Turns out that Terri is working on a project for school and it involves the black mass. Ashley mentions that she’s finished writing a song. Oh no, anytime that anyone sings on this show, it’s going to suck. Terri mentions how slow and boring the pace of the song is, but Ashley’s a slow and boring person and that’s just the way she wants it. You can tell Terri doesn’t agree by the face she’s making.

Terri, Ashley

We cut to Degrassi and Liberty is giving an announcement for anyone interested in signing up for the lunch time cabaret. Cabaret? Why not call it what it is, which is a talent show. Anyways, Paige tells Terri that they should go up for it, but Terri tells her that she’s already singing with Ashley and her boring ass song. Their band name is Two Girls and a Keyboard. Paige mentions how fucking lame it sounds and throws that Heather St Clair character under the bus again. Paige goes on to say that they do need her to jazz it up a little, especially when Terri mentions how boring the song is. They’re interrupted by Mr Raditch who says that he’ll continue to be their home room teacher due to Mrs Kwan being absent still. This is greeted by a bunch of jeers, but he seems to thrive one it.

Paige, Terri

We cut to the Media Immersion class and Emma wants Sean to be a part of her stupid environmental interpretive dance routine but he tells her hell no. Toby being a white knight see’s this as a perfect opportunity to get into Emma’s good graces and tells her that he’ll take the role of the hunter that Sean declined. Emma get’s all happy and tells him that she’ll meet him after school to practice.

JT, Toby

In Snake’s class Terri is giving the class a demonstration on how to summon all sorts of evil spirits by using a Ouija Board. She then offers to show everyone her newly found evil Satanic powers and asks for a volunteer. Spinner of course raises his hand and he asks her if he’s really a super stud. Snake tells him that he doesn’t need witchcraft to tell him the answer to that. Which makes it seem like Snake has a thing for him. Spinner then asks her what the name of his first pet is and Terri using ESP tells him that the name of it was Rocky. Spinner is both amazed and terrified. Paige asks Ashley if she really believes in this stuff and Ashley is a firm believer. Telling her that her aunt used to fuck with all sorts of witchery. Paige and Terri are very happy to hear this.

Terri Terri, Paige

After school JT is giving Toby shit for wanting to be a part of Emma’s stupid bullshit. He then points out that he’s wasting his time doing this gesture because she already has Sean as a boyfriend, but Toby is convinced that he’ll be able to weasel his way into her heart.

Out on the benches Terri has now moved on to divining Tarot cards. She’s giving Manny a reading and she tells her that her day is going to end unexpectantly with a twist. Manny has no idea what that means and Terri freaks her out by telling her to watch out. Paige then comes along and asks Terri if Two Girls and a Piano should become a trio. Ashley get’s all annoyed with because she doesn’t want Paige to be a part of it. Like get your own shit bitch! Anyways, they go with their little plan and they ask the Tarot cards what Ashley should do since she believes in that mumbo jumbo. Of course Terri manipulates, or perhaps her demon made it so that Paige get’s to join the group. Ashley being stupid and being too afraid to defy the inhuman spirits agrees to let Paige into the group.

Manny, Scared

Walking into a class room Ashley is all annoyed with Terri, especially since it seems like she wanted Paige to join their group. She correctly predicts that she’ll only try to make everything sexy and stupid. But Terri reminds her of her newly found power and then brings up how she knew of Spinner’s pet’s name. But Ashley says that stupid Spinner actually told her the name of his cat about a month ago. Terr’s like, “Fuck how did you know?” Ashley simply tells her that she was there.

Outside Paige is all pissed off because Ashley didn’t buy into their bullshit. Terri meanwhile is greatly offended of being called an amateur by Ashley. Even though she is one. Ashley then comes along and tells Paige that they don’t need her. Just then Manny is talking to Emma about their stupid dance routine and she tells her that maybe they need some cartwheels. That’s where she makes the stupid decision of trying it on the steps and she horribly rolls her ankle and falls down in a heap. Everyone is now terrified because Terri’s prophesy from earlier has come true. Ashley now a firm believer in her diabolical powers instantly agrees to let Paige into their musical group.

Manny, Falling Terri, Paige, Ashley

The next day of school Paige is already annoying Ashley by revamping everything. She hands her a flier and Ashley all disgusted reads, “Paige Michalchuk and the Sex Kittens.” Ashley of course hates it and proposes to just rename it Three Girls and a Keyboard. Man how unoriginal is she? Paige of course hates her suggestion because it’s hella boring. Ashley gives Paige a CD of their song so that she can listen to it and practice. She listens to it on her Discman and she obviously hates it.

Band flyer

In the hallway Emma suggests that Toby and Manny switch roles and so now Toby has to dance along with Emma. He’s not too sure about the idea, but JT says that he loves it because he’s an asshole. Toby being a big push over agrees to do it, because he doesn’t want to disappoint her.

In the girls restroom Paige comes out of a stall dressed up like a little hussy and asks Terri what she thinks of it. Terri loves it but she knows Ashley so well and predicts that she’s just going to hate it because Ashley is a boring prude. She walks in and yup, she hates it. Paige and Terri go outside and Paige tells her that she’s holding them back big time with how lame and boring the whole thing is. Terri comes up with the idea of both of them coming up with a newer better version of the song and see if Ashley likes it better. Paige agrees and she says she knows who they can get to help them.

Paige, Terri, Band outfit

And it turns out to be Snake. They ask him if they can add a synthesizer to their song through the magic of computer technology. He then takes the opportunity to tell them that he wishes that he had this kind of equipment back when he was a part of the Zit Remedy. He even mentions that they had a video. The both of them are all amazed that a giant dork like Snake was ever in a band.

Snake

Elsewhere Emma and Toby are practicing for the Cabaret and Toby is the most uncoordinated person at Degrassi. Basically he can’t dance for shit. Emma suggests that he practice in front of a mirror at home. JT says, “Man, how far will you go?”

Back in the Media Immersion class Snake has added a funky beat to Ashley’s song and they’re all busting a move to the more uptempo song. Ashley hears the song blasting from far away and walks in on them singing along to the new version. Of course she’s hating on it but Snake sounding like he’s all afraid of her assures her that her original snooze inducing version is still saved in the computer. Paige suggests that they once again use the dark arts to see whether they should go with the new version or not and Ashley agrees. Of course it comes up that they should go with the new version.

Ashley, Snake, Terri, Paige

Finally it’s time for the goddamn talent show and Paige and Terri are dressed in their lady of the night outfits and that’s when Ashley comes by dressed like her dour self and tells them that she saw online that Terri was lying her ass off with her Tarot card reading and that the card that came out meant staying with the old. She asks Terri why she did it and Terri tells her because Ashley always shoots down all of her suggestions and she doesn’t get a say in jack shit when it comes to the group.

The show has begun and Emma and Toby start their stupid animal dance. Right away Toby fucks up and they bump heads, making everyone in the crowd laugh. Spinner saying, “Man, this is too easy.”  Manny then comes on stage in the role of the hunter and pretends to shoot Emma and Toby with her crutches. Jimmy laughing his ass off says, “What is this?!” At this point everyone is laughing their asses off at Toby’s slow, spastic dying routine and Sean can’t take anymore. He stands up and tells everyone to shut the fuck up and to let them dance. The crowd get’s all quiet because they’re afraid of his pizza face I guess. At this gesture Emma all smiling is even more in love with Sean now.

Toby, Emma Drake Sean

Outside the three girls are still arguing and Ashley is telling them that they better watch out because the cards said go with the old. Terri tells her that she doesn’t give a shit what the cards said and that they’re going with the new version. That’s when Ashley quits the group because she’s a big baby that didn’t get her way.

They go on stage with a dance routine and they start singing. Immediately they’re bringing the house down because everyone is just loving it. Outside the door Ashley is gawking at them and you can tell by the look on her face that she’s thinking that they were right about her song.

Terri, Paige, Singing

In the hallway Emma thanks Toby for helping her out. Toby takes the time to try and ask her out I’m guessing but she doesn’t let him finish. She goes off with Sean and she thanks him for defending her and she gives him a kiss on the cheek. Toby sees this and completely feels like a Kentucky Fried idiot. Probably because he realized that he humiliated himself for no reason at all.

Sean, Emma Toby

In the girls restroom Paige and Terri are celebrating how awesome their performance was. Even though it literally lasted less then a minute. Ashley walks in face all dour and Paige asks her what she thought. She smiles suddenly and tells them that they were great and that her version sucked ass. They ask her to join the group again and Paige once again suggests Paige Michalchuk and the Sex Kittens, but Ashley once again shoots her down. Paige tells her that she wasn’t finished yet and suggests the initials and that the name should be PMS. Ashley thinks it’s gross and once again just wants Three Girls and a Keyboard. They ask Terri to break the tie and they suggest that she use her powers again. But Terri tells them that she doesn’t want to use the Tarot cards anymore. It was probably because she started hearing whispering, scratches inside of the walls, smelling foul odors and the moving of objects around 3 in the morning in her room every night. So she’s done with that shit and she decides to go with PMS. Ashley agrees to go with it and Degrassi’s newest super group is born.

PMS

On the next episode of Degrassi, it’s the Exorcism of Terri McGregor. That’s right. She finds out that she was too late in putting a stop to all of her witchcraft and is now possessed by a legion of demons. And so it’s up to Snake to save her immortal soul. Nah, I’m just kidding. It would have made a sweet episode though.

Ok, I liked this episode, even though Paige and Ashley were annoying as hell. But it was entertaining, and Toby once again was kept at a minimum and that’s always a plus. I would say this has been my favorite episode of the season thus far.


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Season 1, Episode 12, “Wannabe”

Pre-credit Opener: We see this kid who is obviously gay telling Liberty how sorry he is that he’s late for some interview. What Interview, well apparently Liberty is interviewing Paige and Hazel about starting a spirit squad, or simply put, a cheerleading squad. Liberty then asks them what they would tell someone who thinks that cheerleading is sexist. Paige and Hazel say the typical junior girl response which is get over it and that it’s actually good for people. Liberty then ends the interview at that and fucks off. Manny then comes up to Paige and tells her that she wants to join up. Paige asks her what she can do and Manny just does a couple of cartwheels and that was enough to impress Paige so Manny all cheerfully automatically makes the “Spirit Squad”.

Manny

On the Degrassi closed circuit TV Paige is on and is telling everyone that she wants to start the Spirit Squad and is telling people when to come to the gym for try outs. Right away Emma just has to give her opinion that nobody asked for. She’s all, “Give me a break? Cheerleaders?” After class is dismissed Emma is telling Manny that it seems like they’re going back in time because cheerleading is all over. But Manny schools her and tells her that Cheerleading is bigger then ever. Didn’t Emma ever see Bring It On? That movie was huge at the time, so what the fuck is she talking about? Anyways, Emma keeps saying that it’s sexiest and wrong, so right away you know that this is really Spike talking. Manny lets on that she wants to join and Emma get’s all up in her case. Emma now sounding like Kathleen from the original Degrassi says that she doesn’t think that Degrassi should have a cheer leading squad period. Man how fucking annoying is she already?

Manny, Emma

Great we come upon the comedic B plot and it involves JT and Toby eating a bunch of Pringles like a couple of maniacs. Mr Raditch spots them and asks them what they’re doing, but they just say, nothing. In the cafeteria Spinner notices that they have a shit load of empty cans on their table and of course he get’s curious. Liberty comes along eating a couple from her own can and they ask her if they can have her chip can. JT tells her all about a contest that if you find a can with the Ace of Spades and one with the Ace of Clubs then you win a million dollars. Toby tells her that they already have the Ace of Spades and the deadline is in three days. She gives them her can and what do you know. She had the Ace of Clubs. I don’t know why they think they can win it since they’re minors and therefore not eligible to win jack shit.

Liberty, JT, Toby Spinner

Else where Emma and Manny are passing by and that’s when Paige asks Manny if they could see that cartwheel again. She doesn’t want to do it at first because Emma is acting like a huge shithead. But after Paige encourages her to do it, she goes and does it and completely amazes everyone again. Hazel says that her landing could have been better and that’s when Paige says, “Better watch out Manny, sounds like Hazel is jealous.” Hazel just laughs which really means, “Haha, fuck you bitch.”

Hazel

In the girls rest room Emma is still giving Manny shit for aspiring to be a cheerleader, even the prospect of her hanging out with Paige and Hazel. Seriously, who gives a shit about cheerleading? Leave it to Emma to have a problem with it. But Manny just tells her that they are only the coolest kids in school and her hanging out with them and only being a grade 7 is a big deal. But Emma won’t let this go. She starts to say that there’s an evil bad side to cheerleading. Manny points out that she’s the only one who has a problem with it. That’s when Emma basically threaten’s to write another biased article for the Degrassi newspaper, which really pisses Manny off.

In the library, Liberty, JT and Toby are discussing splitting the money 50/50. But that’s when Spinner acting like a big goon says, “How about 45/45?” He says that he wants 10% of the money and Liberty asks him what for. That’s when Spinner tells her for protection, mainly from him. They start talking and Toby says that JT will come with the Ace of Spades the next day since it’s at his house and Spinner insists on holding onto the other can, for protection.

Spinner, Liberty

I guess it’s after school and Paige and Hazel seem to be waiting for Manny. Paige notices that she looks down and Manny tells them that Emma is taking the whole cheerleading is sexiest thing way too far and I’m inclined to agree. Paige wants to know how far and stupid Manny tells her that she’s thinking of writing an article for the Grapevine. Paige and Hazel don’t like this news at all. I don’t know why they’re worried for though, like anyone is going to care or agree with anything that Emma has to say. Paige then suggests that they all hang out and off they go to Manny’s.

The next scene they’re in her bed room and of course they’re talking about boys. Paige says that they shouldn’t be talking about boys that way because Emma would find it sexiest, which is so fucking true. That’s when you know who calls. Paige tells Manny to make damn sure that Emma doesn’t write her stupid opinion piece. Emma asks her where the hell she’s at since she was supposed to come over to study. Manny makes up a horrible excuse and that’s when Emma hears Paige talking shit about her. Emma must have dog ears because Paige was no where near the phone and she still picked up on her shitty remark. Of course this pisses her off and she hangs up all rudely.

Hazel, Paige, Manny

We cut to JT’s room and the place is a fucking pigsty. He’s going crazy looking for the can that he obviously lost. The next day at Degrassi it seems like cheerleading practice is already happening, that or it’s try outs. I gotta point out that there’s a number of dudes there, so I don’t know what Emma is talking about the whole sexiest thing. Hazel wants to show them a new move called a toe touch and she simply just raises her leg and touches her foot with her hand. Paige being a big shit starter tells her that she’s sure that Manny could do it better. Hazel makes a bitch I’m going to fuck you up face but says nothing else. Manny does it too, and then adds doing the splits. Meanwhile Emma is behind her in the doorway watching all this unfold with hatred and jealousy in her eyes. Man Emma is being such a bitch in this episode.

Emma. Manny

In the Media Immersion class Liberty is wearing some God awful red cowboy boots. I don’t know why she thinks that’s a cool look, but anyways, she’s sporting them because she thinks she’s going to be rolling in the dough. Emma then barges in with her shitty opinion please and begs Liberty to include it in the latest issue of the Grapevine. Liberty reads the beginning of the article and says how fucking harsh it is. She then points out how weird it is that she’s doing this article knowing full well that her best friend Manny is joining it. But Emma all self righteous says that Manny is becoming a phony person.

Paige, Manny and Hazel come out of guess where? The restroom of course and they see Emma passing by. Paige says, “Oh look it’s little Miss Save the World.” Emma retorts with, “It’s little Miss Plastic, shouldn’t you be testing your make up on animals?” What kind of shit is that to say? That was Liz and Caitlin all rolled into one with that statement. Emma all proud of herself shows her a copy of the article that she wrote and Paige reads it all pissed off. Manny reads it and says, “Nice Emma, so I’m a bimbo too?” And then crumples it up and throws it away at her feet.

Manny, Paige

Back in the girls jon, Emma walks in all angry and Manny confronts her for the article that she wrote. But Emma throws in her face that they’ve been friends since Kindergarten and now Manny wants to drop her like a slab of meat from Rocky just because Paige is talking to her. Manny get’s equally pissed off and says that she just wants to cheer lead and what’s wrong if she becomes friends with Paige in the process. But Emma being a hater says that Paige is just using her. Manny really burns her by pointing out and saying that the difference between her and Paige is that Paige is fun while Emma is boring as hell. That sure got to her. Looking like she wants to cry she says to her, “Well I sure hope you and Paige have fun together. Just don’t come crying to me when she stabs a knife in your back.” Manny just tells her to fuck off.

Oh God, I don’t give a motherfuck about this stupid plot with the chip can. Toby’s in the Media Immersion class giving away his Sega Game Gear to some random girl saying, “Don’t worry, I can afford it.” What a fucking idiot I swear. JT all in a panic tells him what he’s doing and Toby all full of himself says that it was cheap and that he’s now going to upgrade his whole geek electronic system. JT then tells him that he lost the can and Toby goes insane with regret on what he just gave away.

Toby

In the hallway Manny see’s Paige and Hazel taking all of the copies of the Grapevine and taking it with them to the gym. Right away we see that they’re tearing out Emma’s article out of every single issue. Paige tells Manny that Emma’s article is going to really hurt them and no one’s going to want to join. But like I said before, no one cares about what Emma thinks and no one would listen to her. Especially since a lot of girls like Cheerleading. She hands one to Manny and tells her to prove how much she wants to be in the spirit squad by helping them rip the articles out of it. Manny does it and now feels completely guilty.

Paige, Hazel Manny, Tearing Paper

Outside Toby is having a panic attack. Liberty and Spinner come upon them and she tells JT that he better find the can or else she’ll sue him. Get the fuck out of here with that shit Liberty! Toby asks Spinner what he’s doing there, but Liberty tells them that if JT doesn’t find the can then Spinner is going to beat the shit out of him. JT then remembers that the can is most likely in his locker. They open it up and his locker it’s just like his bed room, a big disgusting mess. They find the can and Spinner says, “You moron! They’re both Clubs!” Spinner just leaves all disgusted at them while Toby and Liberty stuff JT into his locker. Thank God this stupid subplot is over with.

JT, Toby, Liberty

In the Media Immersion class Paige and the gay kid named Oscar are going over designs for their cheerleading outfits, but they’re interrupted by Snake and Emma. Right away we know that Emma is accusing them of tearing out the article but Paige plays dumb of course. Snake then tells Paige that they have no proof that she did it, but if they find out, she can get suspended. Manny racked with guilt is about to confess to the crime and that’s when Paige completely fucks Hazel over and tells Snake that she was around the newspaper racks at the time. Snake over doing it says that it’s shit like that that makes the school not want to have any extracurricular activities at all. Oh fuck you Snake, like you never did anything wrong when you were that age.

Snake

At Manny’s locker Manny asks Paige why she backstabbed Hazel like that and Paige says that she did it to look out for her. Manny says not to do it if it means that she’s going to be dragged into her bullshit too. That’s when Paige threatens her and that she’ll tell the authorities that Manny was the one who really ripped all the pages from the newspaper. Paige says, “Who do you think they’ll believe, me or you?” Manny once again get’s pissed off and calls her bluff by saying, “Let’s go find out.” And starts to walk away, but that’s when Paige stops her and asks what her “damage” is. Manny tells her that she’s the problem and if she wants to spread rumors about her or deface her locker to just try it. She then punks her out some more and get’s all in her face. Paige backs away cause she knew that Manny is about five seconds away from fucking her up. All Paige can think to say is, “FYI your attitude sucks! Good luck making the squad.” Behind them Emma has this shit eating grin on her face.

Manny, Pissed

Outside Manny’s house Emma comes by and apologizes for being such a shithead all episode long. Manny tells her that all she wanted to do was have fun, but then Paige took an interest in her and that’s when things started to suck. Emma asks her what she’s going to do and Manny says that she’s going to give it up since Paige is a hateful bitch. But Emma tells her that Paige isn’t stupid enough to cut her since Manny is really good at it. Emma then tells her that she loved how Manny told Paige off saying, “I couldn’t have said it better myself.” Manny just smiles and you can tell that they’re best friends again.

Manny, Emma, End Credits

I would say this was an ok episode. Emma was just a huge annoying pain in the ass. Paige of course showed what an evil bitch she really is. The low point definitely was the stupid Pringle winning can plot. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, any episode that features too much Toby is a bad one.


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Season 1, Episode 11, “Friday Night”

Ha, it’s Friday afternoon and here I am writing this one up. Let’s see what trouble the Degrassi kid’s get into this time.

Pre-credit opener: In the very busy Degrassi hallway Manny is showing Emma her new nail polish called Passion Flame. Emma says that it sounds very hot and Manny says, “Speaking of hot.” And of course Sean comes up and strikes up a conversation with Emma. They do some small talk and that’s when he goes for it and asks her if she wants to hang out that night. Manny comes back and asks her what he wanted. Emma says, “Manny I’m not sure, but I think he asked me on a date.” They both start to squeal like a couple of little girls. Cause that’s exactly what they are.

Emma, Manny

In the Media Immersion class Manny is all excited for Emma’s first date because she’s so lame she has to live through Emma to experience all these things. Toby tries to talk to Emma but of course he just acts like the awkward spaz that he is. Emma picks up on what he’s trying to do and she tells Manny that they should go sharpen their pencils. As soon as they’re in the other side of the room she tells Manny that she wishes that Toby liked Manny instead of her. But Manny could give two fucks about Toby and wants all the details on what Sean said. Both of them are now confused and can’t figure out if they’re going on a date or not.

Manny, Emma

In Mrs Kwan’s class, she’s telling everyone about a field trip they’re going on so that they can watch Romeo and Juliet. But she’s interrupted by this really annoying drumming and of course it’s Spinner tapping his pen against the table. She see’s that he’s listening to his ancient and cheap looking discman. She takes his head phones off and tells him that he has detention after school. Stupid Spinner like an imbecile just smiles and says, “What?” She tries to take the discman away, but Spinner tries to take it back and that’s when she drops it. I told you it was cheap. The thing broke into a couple of pieces as soon as it hit the floor. Spinner loses his shit, but Mrs Kwan tells him that it’s his fault for listening to it in her room. She then says, “Keep wasting my time Gavin and I’ll keep wasting yours.”

Mrs Kwan, Spinner

In gym class Emma and Manny are still super confused about whether she has a date or not. But luckily Sean is in there and they have a talk. Emma says, “Sean about tonight?” He just get’s this really blank look on his face and says, “Yeah.” Then walks away. Emma instantly get’s pissed off and yells, “SEAN!” Coach Armstrong then comes in and tells everyone that they’re going to play dodge ball. I guess his little case about molesting Liberty was resolved quickly then. Anyways, he gives the ball to Emma and you can tell by the look in her eyes that she has nothing but evil intentions now. The game starts and she throws the ball all hard at him. Armstrong tells her that she has a good arm, but tells her that there’s other people to hit instead of Sean.

In the hallway Spinner is all sad about his CD player and Jimmy tells Ashley and Terri that Mrs Kwan is a major fucking tyrant. Ashley then asks him who he’s sitting next to the bus when they go on their field trip. He says next to her of course and they start to make out. Mrs Kwan then comes by and says, “Ms Kerwin, Mr Brooks. This is a school not a petting zoo. Kindly disengage yourselves.” What is she a fucking cyborg? Who talks like that?! Ashley tries to explain and Mrs Kwan isn’t finished yet. She threatens to take her to Mr Raditch then as she’s walking away she adds, “You two may think you’re adorable, but that doesn’t mean anyone else does.” Once she’s gone Jimmy says, “Total Tyrant.” What bug crawled up her ass? What a bitch.

Mrs KwanAshley, Jimmy, Terri

In the cafeteria Jimmy is telling Spinner all about what happened in the previous scene. Spinner says that she’s made it her mission to make everyone’s live’s there miserable and blames her for him working there. That’s when he comes up with the idea of him and Jimmy teaming up to get her back. But Jimmy is a big puss and tells him no way. Sheila the lunch lady comes by Spinner and says, “Hey princess, less talk, more work.”

In the hallway stupid Emma and Manny are still debating if she has a date or not. Emma was so desperate that she even talked to Toby about it. She says that he told her that he thinks that Sean was only trying to make small talk. I’m surprised that dork didn’t try throwing Sean under the bus some how. Once again Paige being nosy as hell over hears their conversation and says that her thing for Sean is more obvious then Heather St Claire’s nose job. Emma reluctantly tells her what happened and asks her for her advice. Paige tells her that it is a date and it was just Sean’s weirdo way of asking her out.

Paige

Terri comes into Mrs Kwan’s class and tells them that she’s in a meeting with Mr Raditch and that they’re supposed to do some bullshit busy work. Spinner decide to use the time to impersonate Mrs Kwan. Jimmy goes ahead and plays along too, going through their little bit with Spinner using some of her phrases, because like I said, who talks like that? She comes in and Spinner sits his ass down. She starts to talk about the assignment but she starts to repeat some of the shit that Spinner and Jimmy said. They look all confused as to how she knew and she tells them that she heard everything they said on the intercom and then gives Jimmy detention too.

Spinner, Jimmy Kwan

In the Media Immersion class Emma sends Sean on email and asks him what’s going on that night. Sean calls her out on her hostile ass and she denies hating him. Sean cuts the bullshit because he’s a real man and they both decide to go out on a date.

In detention Jimmy is hella bummed about being stuck there on a Friday afternoon. He tells Spinner all this and Mrs Kwan tells them that she’s going to be teaching a night school class in about three hours, so if they don’t shut the fuck up, they’ll be there along with her too. But I think that’s illegal in someway. Anyways, Jimmy decides to go with Spinner’s plan and it’s time for revenge, Degrassi style!

Revenge

Finally it’s dusk and Sean is in front of Emma and Spike’s house in his best denim jean jacket and a spiffy looking turtleneck. Emma is nervous as hell and is asking Spike what outfit she should wear. Man Spike is looking good in that top she has on. Anyways, she starts to talk about how she remembers her first date. But she should stop herself, because it’ll probably lead into how Shane porked her just once and got her pregnant with Emma. Mercifully Sean knocks on the door and Spike lets him in. She tells them to have a good time and for Emma to be back home by ten. Before they leave Spike busts out this humongous Polaroid camera and takes their picture. It’s the most hilarious thing ever with their big moonie smiles.

Spike Emma, Sean, pic

Outside Emma is suggesting all sorts of shit that they can do, but Sean tells her to take it easy and that they’ll figure something out. Emma finally relaxes but that’s when a bird takes a giant shit on her. If that ain’t a sign of things to come, I don’t know what is.

Emma, Bird Shit

It’s night time at Degrassi and Sean and Jimmy sneak in to fuck with Mrs Kwan. While she’s teaching English to a bunch of foreigners, Jimmy turns on the intercom in Mr Raditch’s office and Spinner starts to chew gum loudly into it. Right away Mrs Kwan get’s pissed off and tells whoever’s doing that should spit it out, but of course Spinner keeps doing it. They fuck things up though when she hears them laughing through the intercom. She excuses herself and goes to check Raditch’s office, but they hide before she can catch them. Spinner then initiates part II of his evil little plan and orders some take out to the school.

Drake, Spinner

We cut to the mall’s food court and apparently Emma bought Sean dinner because she feels she owes it to him since Spike made them take another picture with her weird looking camera. Oh God, Emma tells him that she ordered him a veggieburger and Sean not wanting to blow it tells her that it’s fine. He goes on to tell her that he spent a Summer at his aunt and uncle’s farm and got disgusted when he saw some cows being slaughtered. Emma starts to talk about some vegetarian bullshit, but that’s when Sean notices a big glob of ketchup or whatever on her cheek and tells her about it. Emma of course is embarrassed as hell.

Back to Mrs Kwan’s room this dude comes in and tells her that someone ordered a shit load of buffalo wings. She tells him that she didn’t order it and refuses to pay the big ass bill for it. But the foreigners are happy to pay for themselves since they’re starving while taking her stupid English test. In Mr Raditch’s office Spinner and Jimmy are laughing their asses off. Those little bastards.

Pizza Guy, Mrs KwanForeighners

Back to Sean and Emma’s boring date. Emma can’t find her wallet and is convinced that she threw it out with the rest of their food at the food court. Poor Sean decides to make himself look like a garbage picker and sticks his hand in the trash, but he only finds a piece of hamburger. That’s when a security guard comes along and Sean pretty much figures out that they’re getting kicked out.

Sean, Emma, Date

At the Degrassi parking lot Jimmy and Spinner are taking out their frustrations on Mrs Kwan’s car by throwing eggs at it. She comes out all of a sudden and they hide behind a car. She see’s what they did and she can’t take it anymore. She starts to cry her eyes out. But shit, I think she really would have lost it if they had keyed it. Anyways, Jimmy feels bad about it now, but Spinner is a prick and is smiling all satisfied that he finally got her back.

Mrs Kwan, Crying Spinner

Outside of the mall Sean is dumpster diving but he can’t find shit. He asks her again to retrace her steps and it turns out that stupid Emma had her wallet on her the whole time. She put it inside of her jacket pocket that she had tied around her waist. All of a sudden she runs off, looking like she wants to cry. Man what a shitty date and Sean still has a horrible pizza face. Just saying.

Emma, Sean

It’s finally Monday at Degrassi and Emma is telling Manny, JT and Toby all about their disastrous first date. Sean comes along and Emma starts to apologize for the date, but Sean just spots the Polaroid and asks her if he can have it. Man that went no where. But Emma is obviously even more smitten with him.

Emma

In Mrs Kwan’s class stupid Spinner and Drake are telling the whole class what they did. No way would I be bragging about something like that. It’s how you get busted. But Spinner doesn’t give a shit. He starts to say that he wishes that he had a video camera just so that he had footage of her crying. Everyone is laughing except for Ashley because she’s a huge bore. Spinner tells her that she was asking for it. (Check out Canadian Ronald McDonald there.) Just then Raditch walks in and tells the class that Mrs Kwan won’t be coming back for the rest of the term. Raditch tells them since she won’t be there that their field trip is now canceled, which bums everyone out. It turns out her husband is sick, cancer I’m guessing and that she was doing a lot of over time and she just couldn’t take the stress anymore. Man, no wonder she was a such a Thundercunt this whole episode. Poor creature. The episode ends with Spinner and Jimmy looking guilty as hell.

Spinner, Jimmy, Class Spinner, Jimmy, End Credits

Over all, I would say I liked this episode. It was a nice change of setting because the whole school thing get’s old fast. Although I really didn’t care much for Sean and Emma’s lame first date. This episode I would definitely sub title it The Wrath of Kwan.


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Season 1, Episode 10, “Rumours & Reputations”

Pre-credit opener: Emma is about to enter Coach Armstrong’s math room, because he also teaches that. But she’s stopped in her tracks by something she see’s in there. We get a look from her point of view and It’s just Coach Armstrong and Liberty and he has his arm around her while he’s talking to her. Right away, because she’s Spike’s daughter, she assumes the worst. In the Media Immersion class Emma is too preoccupied to even pay attention to JT’s lame stupid joke. She goes up to Liberty and tells her that she saw the two of them together earlier. Right away Liberty acts all hostile towards her and tells her to mind her own fucking business. So yeah, I think we can all see that Emma is acting just like Caitlin and she’s going to butt in and make matters so much worse.

Coach Armstrong, Liberty

Outside JT thinks that Emma is being too obvious staring at Sean’s ass. But she’s completely focused on Coach Armstrong because she thinks he’s a big ol pedophile. She asks him what he thinks of him as a human being and of course he says something idiotic and she tells him to be serious for once in his life. He goes on to say that he’s pretty cool and helps him out whenever he’s needed it. To make her even more suspicious she see’s him going up to Liberty and gives her what seems to be a note. He makes the big mistake of touching her wrist and Emma is even more convinced that Armstrong is doing something nasty to her.

Liberty note Emma

In the cafeteria Spinner and Jimmy have some nasty looking food that lunch lady Sheila serves to them. He makes a stupid joke and she tells him that she can’t wait for his ass to graduate. But I love how she adds, “It might take a few extra years.” You know, because Spinner is an idiot. Anyways, he digs his fork into his slop and see’s that there’s a fucking earwig in there. He get’s so grossed out that he flings it into some random girl’s hair. He starts telling Sheila about the bug, but of course he has no more proof because it fell on the floor and some kid stepped on it. Man, she tells him that his lunch is 4.99 plus tax. That is expensive as fuck. I only payed about 2 dollars for a soft drink, a chicken sandwich and fries.

Spinner

At their lockers Manny is trying to talk to Emma about Media Immersion and randomly Emma’s asks her if Armstrong has ever touched her before. Manny says no and then asks if he’s touched Emma. Fucking Emma right away tells her that she saw him touching Liberty. She continues to tell Manny all about him putting his arm around Liberty and the note that he gave to her. You’d think that Emma would want to be discrete about all this but nope. All out in the open. So of course Terri hears what she’s saying and can’t believe her fucking ears.

Terri

Elsewhere Spinner is telling Paige and Ashley about the nasty bug in his food. But they don’t believe him since he’s always complaining about the food in the cafeteria so he has no credibility. Especially since this is Spinner who we’re talking about. Jimmy sort of backs up his story, but Jimmy thinks that it was a moth or something. Ashley says that they can’t even get their story straight and they just walk off all disgusted. Spinner not to be daunted starts to yell, “Boycott the caf. The caf has bugs!” Mrs Kwan immediately comes down on him and tells him that it’s a serious accusation that he’s saying and she asks him where the bug is. He tells her that some kid stepped on it so he has no proof. She then tells him, “Gavin, defamation and rumor mongering are serious offences.” Then she goes on to tell him that next time he better have proof.

Spinner, Mrs Kwan

In Armstrong’s 8th grade math class Terri is now looking at him with disgust, which Paige notices. Being nosy she wants to know what’s bother her and Terri blabs to her that she heard that Armstrong was coming on to Liberty. Paige is beside herself so of course she starts to text the rumor to her friend Hazel, who is making her first appearance in this episode. Now thanks to Emma the rumor of Liberty and Coach Armstrong boning is spreading like a wild fire through out the school. The shocked faces that everyone is making is hilarious.

HazelSeanEmailAshley

We cut to a student council meeting and Liberty proposes God knows what, I wasn’t really paying attention, but Ashley just agrees to whatever she says because she feels sorry for her now. Even Liberty noticed how easy that was. She see’s them whispering and she tells them that she knows what they’re talking about. Ashley of course assumes that she wants to talk about her being molested, but instead Liberty starts to talk about some microphones that were stolen last year. After the meeting Ashley decides to just jump into it and asks Liberty if she even knows what’s going on. As we all know, she doesn’t and that’s when Ashley tells her about the rumor that she’s banging Coach Armstrong. Stupid Ashley asks her if it’s true and Liberty says, “Of course not!” And then runs off all mortified. Ashley continues talking to the thin air, “If it’s true, we have to report it.”

It’s a new day at Degrassi and Emma is telling Manny, JT and Toby that she knew that she was right. They try to figure out if they should tell someone or not. Emma saying that they should wait to find out for sure. But shit, she already jumped the gun on that one. They see Liberty walk in and they all just gawk at her. She runs away crying because she now knows what everyone is thinking.

Manny, Emma, JT, Toby

In the girl’s washroom Emma can’t help not minding her own business and respecting Liberty’s privacy. She tells her that she needs a friend and someone to talk to. Liberty keeps telling her that there’s nothing to talk about, but Emma is so goddamn persistent. Liberty tells her that it’s just a horrible rumor and is afraid that it’ll get to Raditch and her parents. Stupid Emma suggests that they talk to people and find out who started that rumor, even though person zero is right in front of her.

Liberty, Emma

In the hallway Spinner tells Jimmy all about is brilliant plan to show that there are bugs in the food. He opens up his back bag and shows Drake a little container full of earwigs. In some class room we see Emma telling Ashley the truth about the rumor. Ashley says, “Poor girl, who would want to spread a rumor like that?” I love how it doesn’t even occur to Emma that she was the one who started everything with that big mouth of hers. She starts to go down the line from Ashley, to Spinner to Sean. We then cut to Hazel telling Emma that she’s innocent and she says that she heard the rumor from Paige. She walks out of stall again and tells Emma that she heard it from Terri. Emma all pissed off confronts her about the rumor and tries to blame her for the spreading of it. But Terri all pissed off tells her that she overheard her and Manny. At that stupid Emma realizes that she started this whole mess.

Terri pissed Emma, Rumor starter

In the cafeteria Spinner implements his plan and not even being all smooth about it, he just puts the bugs in Ashley’s food. He’s so stupid and obvious she knows right away what he did. She spots the container and drops it because it’s full of bugs. Mrs Kwan comes along and busts him.

Spinner, Busted

It’s finally time for Coach Armstrong’s math class and everyone in there is all quiet. Especially once Emma and Liberty take their seats. Liberty asks her if she tracked down the rumor but she’s not allowed to confess because class is now starting. Right away Armstrong notices that everyone is hostile to him and want’s to know what the fuck is going on. Especially since JT starts to laugh when he tells Liberty that they’ve been working on a equation. But that’s when Mr Raditch comes in and tells him that he has to go with him to the office and that some teacher is going to take over his class. Poor bastard, he’s in deep shit. Thanks a lot Emma! After he leaves Raditch also tells Liberty to come with him as well. Emma just sits there are guilt ridden now.

Ah but she decides to go with them and see’s Liberty sitting in the waiting room of his office. Raditch tells her that he’s busy but she tells him that it can’t wait because she’s in the middle of it too. Which makes Coach Armstrong look even worse now. Raditch looks at him like, “Motherfucker you sure got around!” How stupid can Emma be?!

Coach Armstrong, Mr Raditch

We cut to the cafeteria and Sheila the lunch lady is telling Spinner that he has to help her serve lunch and come over every day after school to clean up. His day is even worse now because he has to wear a hair net and that’s when Jimmy and Ashley walk in, laughing their asses off. After they leave Sheila informs him that he has to do that for two months, Spinner is so boned because he owes the school 300 dollars for extermination. He tells her that it needed extermination anyways, but she just says, “Sure it did Gavin.”

Ashley, Jimmy, SpinnerSheila

In the girls wash room Emma confesses to Liberty that she’s the one who started the rumor but tries to justify that she didn’t spread it. Liberty of course get’s pissed at her and tells her that there’s no difference and they’re lucky that Mr Armstrong didn’t lose his job because of her blabber mouth. Liberty then continues to rip Emma a new asshole, especially since Emma demands to know what she was doing with him anyways. Man she has some nerve let me tell you. Liberty enraged busts out the pamphlet that Emma thought was a love note and it says that it’s a learning disorder called Dyscalculia. Apparently it’s a math disorder that’s very similar to Dyslexia. Shit, I must have that too because I am so horrible at math. Anyways, Liberty schools Emma and tells her that Armstrong was just helping her out and was too embarrassed to let anyone know because she hates the thought of being stupid in that regard. Emma then asks her if there’s anything she can do to help. But Liberty just tells her to go fuck herself and save some worthless endangered species, because when it comes to helping actual human beings, she sucks big donkey dicks. And that’s where this episode ends, with Emma knowing that she fucked up big time.

Liberty, Pissed Emma, End credits

So this episode was pretty good. I really didn’t give a shit about Spinner’s cafeteria story line though. But you’ll notice that each episode has a serious plot and another one where it’s more comedic. I seriously had a flash back to when Spike told Caitlin off for trying to be a crusader too.


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Season 1, Episode 9, “Coming Of Age”

*Edit* *Breaking News*

So they’ve finally decided to cancel Degrassi after 14 seasons. I gotta say, it was about time. Because these current Degrassi kids are lame as hell. I would say it was on two season’s too long. But that’s just my opinion. I just know that Paige’s head exploded upon hearing this news.

Hun

Even Drake is saying good bye.

drake bye bye

 

Moving on. In this episode Jimmy shows us how clingy he is with Ashley. So pay attention kids, cause he’s about to show you not what to do in a relationship.

Pre-credit opener: Ashley comes out of her house and immediately Jimmy and Terri are waiting for her outside. Apparently Jimmy is going to turn 14 any day now and he consider’s himself a man. Ashley all sarcastically says, “Oh yeah, which country?” Terri asks him where they’re taking him for dinner and he tells her that his mom is going to cook them all some lobster. He invites Ashley and right away you can tell that she doesn’t want to go. All of a sudden we cut to them at Degrassi and Jimmy gives her a kiss on the cheek and leaves. As soon as he’s gone she makes this sour badger face and explain’s to Terri that Jimmy has been going to her house for dinner eight times in a row already. So you know he’s a stage four clinger at this point.

Ashley

Outside Terri, Paige and Ashley are taking a love quiz from one of those teen mags but they’re interrupted by Jimmy and his crew. Ashley get’s annoyed instantly and tells him to go play ball with Spinner. He then asks her if she wants to hang out that night, but she lies to him and says that she can’t because Terri’s coming over for a girl’s night.

In the Media Immersion class Sean is telling Manny all about some stupid Astrology website, while Emma is being an annoying pain in the ass because no one is listening to her. All of a sudden she shout’s that she can’t even think and just storms out of the room and forces Manny to go with her. In some random class Emma is seriously stressing telling Manny that she knows she failed her test. Manny tries to reassure her but she can’t help being all sassy towards her. So yeah, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Emma is PMSing in an epic scale.

Sean, Emma, Manny

After school Ashley and Terri are walking toward’s Ashley and we here this lame hip hop beat and what do you know. Jimmy’s there giving that dweeb Toby some pointer’s on how to shoot a basketball. Ashley instantly get’s all annoyed with him again. She starts ranting to her mom about Jimmy staying over for dinner also. Her mom quickly picks up on her hostile ass and wants to know what’s up. Ashley goes on to tell her how sick she is of him being there every night. Her mom points out to her that she feels bad for him because he’s always alone. So yeah, we clearly see how he’s similar to one Lucy Fernandez in that respect, because both of their parents are the biggest absentee parents in the history of ever.

Ashley, Terri, Ashley's mom

At Emma’s, she’s busy watching this sappy soap opera and she’s crying her eyes out while eating some potato chips. I gotta say Emma has the world’s ugliest crying face. Spike comes along and asks her what’s wrong with her because she see’s her crying. Spike starts talking some nonsense about realizing how small one is compared to the whole universe. She then offers to take Emma shopping.

Emma crying

At the mall Emma and Spike seemed to have gone on a small shopping spree. They pass by this guy and he tells them, “Oh, I’d like a lick of that.” Because they’re also eating ice cream. But this dumbass doesn’t know who he’s fucking with and he chose the wrong two people to say that kind of shit to. Spike immediately get’s on his case, chewing his ass out. Spike then schools him and tells him not to be talking to women like that and then goes all Liz on him and calls him a pig. She does make a good point where talking to women like that makes them feel bad and that it can be scary for them. Plus this asshole is way too old to be acting like that still. The guy just leaves in a huff and Emma is mortified of Spike going off on him. Spike continue’s her rant with, “Don’t ever let a guy make you feel bad just for being Female.”

Spike, Emma, Creep

Back at Ashley’s, Jimmy is finally going home and she’s all relieved because she’s a heartless bitch. She walks in and immediately starts to yell at Toby telling him not to be inviting Jimmy over for dinner every goddamn night. Toby of course doesn’t understand since he’s her boyfriend. Ashley then tells Terri and Toby that she’s about ready to break up with him because he’s suffocating her. Toby’s so shocked, he drops the dinner plate he was cleaning.

Back at school Emma is showing Manny her new white skirt. Toby stops by Jimmy’s locker and it’s all decorated because it’s his birthday. Jimmy comes along being chased by some girls and stupid Toby decides for that day of all days to tell him about Ashley wanting to break up with him. What a dumb stupid fuck. Jimmy demands to know what Ashley said and he starts asking if she feels suffocated and that they’re together too much. Toby doesn’t say a thing except shake his head yes. Even to the question if she wants to break up with him. Jimmy get’s all sad and just walks away.

Toby, Jimmy

Outside JT tells Toby that he shouldn’t have said a fucking thing to him. But Manny disagree’s because she’s an idiot. In no way was it in Toby’s place for him to be telling Drake all that shit. JT and Toby leave and that’s when Sean comes by to say hi to Emma. For some reason he apologize to her about the stupid horoscope thing. Emma stands up to go with him and Manny spots something on Emma’s bottom. She quickly pulls her back down and asks her if she sat on something. Emma then stands up and see’s what happen. Yup, she got her period because Manny says that it hasn’t happened to her yet. She tells Sean all embarrassed that she can’t go with him and that he should just go away. He does with a look of confusion on his face.

Emma, Manny

Else where Ashley is telling Terri that she can’t break up with him that night since it’s his birthday. Oh if she only knew that Toby already fucked everything up for her. Jimmy comes along and he tells her that she doesn’t have to come over that night. Meanwhile Emma all awkwardly is walking with Manny behind her going to the girls washroom. Manny points out to her that she can get pregnant now.

Inside Manny takes away a magazine and we see this really nasty looking blood stain on Emma’s white skirt. Emma starts going on about having a book report to do in the next period and Manny leaves to find her some gym shorts to wear.

Emma, Blood Stain

In the hallway Ashley and Toby get into an argument about Jimmy. He tells her why she’s bothering to go since she’s just going to dump his ass. She get’s pissed because it was obvious that Toby was listening in on her conversation with Terri. But wait, wasn’t Toby there the whole time she was yelling about how annoying Jimmy is? She starts to go off on Toby telling him how he doesn’t understand anything since he’s just a stupid toad. But Toby just says, “You don’t bring people into your life just to throw them away.” The geek does make a good point and she knows it.

The worst person possible walks into the girls bathroom and that’s right, it’s Paige and she immediately see’s the huge fucking blood stain. But she would have to be blind not to see it. Paige tells her that she shouldn’t be wearing light colors if she’s getting her period. Emma tells her that she didn’t know that she was getting it and goes into a stall all embarrassed. Paige surprisingly helps Emma out and gives her a pad while she’s in the next stall taking a huge smelly shit. Paige goes on to say that now she’ll end up getting boobs, saying that they’re actually pretty great. But Paige barely has any of her own.

Paige

Turns out that Manny found Emma some oversized gym shorts and it’s time for them to give their book report in Mrs Kwan’s class. Emma’s all holding on to the shorts and everyone is laughing at her attire for some reason. Toby and JT won’t shut the hell up about it, JT saying, “Aw did Emmy pee her pants.” Emma not giving a motherfuck tells him, “No, I just got my period for the first time.” And goes on to say that it’s perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed off. Mrs Kwan tells her right on. Toby and JT are all shocked at the word while Sean raise’s his big ass eyebrows in surprise and then smiles because he seems to like the thought that Emma can now bare children.

Emma, Manny, Mrs Kwan Sean

After school Ashley and Jimmy arrive at his place and it’s pretty obvious that he’s a rich son of a bitch, the place looks a little too fancy. But what a surprise, his parents are no where to be found. He listens to the answering machine and his mom tells him both her and his dad are working late again and that he should just order himself a pizza. Ashley then invites him over to her house for dinner and that’s when things get sour and it’s all stupid Toby’s fault. He tells her to forget it and if they can just break up and get it over with already. He quickly figures out that she didn’t want to break up with him only because it’s his birthday. In a fit of anger he kicks her ass out and then with tears in his eyes, he orders a pizza, his usual he tells the guy at the pizzeria.

Jimmy's house Drake, Crying

The next day at school Manny asks her if she’s feeling ok and Emma can’t help being all sarcastic with her. She then tells Manny all about her plan to have a petition signed so that they’ll get disposable tampon machines in the girls washroom. Paige signs it and because she’s a major bitch and she can’t help herself, she asks Sean if he wants to sign her petition too. Emma instantly get’s all embarrassed, but Paige’s plan backfires on her because Sean doesn’t give a shit and just signs it saying, “If Emma came up with it, it’s gotta be a good idea.” Paige just leaves while rolling her eyes and Emma is even more in love with Sean now.

Emma in love

At Ashley’s locker, she opens it up and we see this cheesy picture of Jimmy that says, Ashley, I love you this much!!  XOXO Jimmy. She get’s all sad and that’s when she spots him taking down her pictures inside his locker. She comes up to him and wants to talk to him. She goes on to say that she just overreacted and then hugs him. He asks her if she’s just doing it because she feels sorry for him. She lies to him telling him no, even though that’s exactly the reason why. All pathetic he says, “I love you Ash” and then they hug it out.

Jimmy, Picture

Ashley, End Credits

This is another episode that was just ok. Ashley and Toby were totally annoying in it, but at least I learned from Paige that you’re not supposed to wear light colors while you’re going through your period.