Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 3, Episode 17, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”

So we return to an Episode that “Goes There”. That’s right this is the big Terri get’s fucked up by her boyfriend episode. I’m not sure, but I believe this is the last episode she’s featured in, or maybe she makes one last appearance as the season concludes. But who cares. Let’s see how Terri get’s taken out of Degrassi. Man, what a DeBummer.

Pre-Credit Opener: We open up with Paige telling the gang that she has her parents mini van for the weekend and you know what that means. Party!! Everyone is super excited except for Terri because she doesn’t have that special someone to go on what’s most likely going to be a lame road trip. Hazel tells her, “You’ll be with all of your friends idiot!” Paige tells her to bring someone and we all know who Terri is thinking of bringing along because she is indeed an idiot.

Oh what a surprise. Yet again Mrs Kwan is teaching something that isn’t remotely related to language class. I would say she’s more of a life skills teacher. I remember when I was in Jr High we had a class called Life Skills class. And it was pretty much stupid shit like this. Rick and Terri become partners for a trust exercise and yeah, it’s pretty predictable. They each fall into each other’s arms and with that, Rick weasel’s his way into Terri’s heart again.

After class Rick tells Terri that he wanted to call her to apologize for beating the hell out of her, but he was too much of a chicken shit to do it. He goes on to say that he misses her and the fact that she hung out with Paige all the time made stalking her hard. Terri just leaves and says she’ll talk to him later.

In Snake’s class Marco is being a little brown noser and tells him that the sub that they had sucked ass and they’re all glad that he’s back. Snake is back to his old self. At least he’s not a dick anymore. Oh lord Marco and Ellie have a night of watching an Indian movie double feature. What a couple of bores I swear. Ashley points out to Ellie that Sean like most normal teenage boys wouldn’t sit through that kind of boring bullshit. Ellie says, “Why would Sean come?” Ashley points out that they are sort of seeing each other, but Ellie is adamant that things haven’t changed between her and Marco just because she’s seeing Sean now. Yeah, we all know this isn’t going to end well.

At Caitlin’s TV station Sean walks into Caitlin and Ellie’s bull session. Sean cuts to the chase and he wants to watch a new movie called Elimination Round 3. Ellie says that she wants to go with him, but she realized that she has a boring evening with Marco planned already. What’s a girl to do?

We cut to The Dot and everyone is disgusted and pissed off at Terri for bringing Rick along to their sacred hangout. Paige all full of fury says that she’s not going to be driving that asshole around all day long. Spinner points out that it’s better that they come along since they’ll be able to keep an eye on them.

Ha! The poster to Elimination Round 3 features a bald black dude and none other than motherfucking Yick Yu! Marco and Ellie come along and right away he’s acting like such a woman. Sean much like I would be in that situation is disappointed that she brought him along.

So it’s finally time for the big road trip and it seems like they just went to the local Degrassi park. Rick sit’s his ass on the hood of the van and tells Terri to come and join him. Paige all annoyed tells him to get the hell off before he and Terri put the mother of all dents on it.

Back at the movie Marco and Ellie are acting like a couple of assholes. You can tell that they think that they’re sophisticated and that an action movie is beneath them. Jay get’s so annoyed at them that he throws popcorn at Marco. Sean then reaches for some popcorn but he touches Marco’s hand instead. He probably wants to boil it because he thinks he has gay now.

The scene cuts back to the park and Paige is fuming and you can tell she’s about to blow. Rick goes to get what I’m assuming is food for Terri. She takes that as an opportunity to talk to her about Rick. Terri being a fool says that he apologized. Paige getting more irritated by the minute shouts out, “Of course, that’s what his kind does!” Rick comes out of nowhere and starts to tell Paige that she has no right to tell Terri who she can be friends with and that she’s a backstabber. I don’t know how she is in that situation. It’s not like she ever fucked Rick over like she did to Manny and Hazel. Anyways, Paige goes on to call him a psycho and Rick loses it and kicks Paige’s mini van and leaves. Terri being on Rick’s side starts to yell at Paige. She pretty much says that she’s sick of her shit and constantly being told what to do. Paige having enough yells at her to go after him if she’s such a bad friend. I gotta say, I’ve been in Paige’s situation before with people like Terri. Especially when they get back together with someone they know is toxic. It’s very annoying and frustrating, but you can’t control people. Even if they are fucking stupid.

Out in some field where a bunch of bricks are just laying around, Rick is going crazy kicking at the air in anger. Terri starts to apologize about Paige but Rick cuts off her shouting, “She does not matter!” Terri says, “Calm down day time Emmy.” He does and goes on to say that he’s happy that they’re together again. After they kiss, Terri starts to pull him along and says to just ignore Paige. He tugs her back all aggressive and says he’d rather walk back. Terri points out that it’s far walk. Rick says that she called him a psycho. Paige tells Rick that that’s just Paige being herself, which is a bitch. Rick now is starting to get more aggravated and says, “What? That makes it ok? My feelings mean nothing to you?” Terri starts to panic from his vise like grip thanks to him hulking out due to anger again. She says that she’s going back because he’s hurting her. At that he loses it and yells, “You’re not going! You’re not!!” And then pushes her and Terri fucking splits her head open falling on top of one of the random cinder blocks just lying around. At this point Rick makes a shocked face because he knows that he went way over the line. He went up to 11 with that fury.

We cut back to Paige and she’s clearly worried about Terri because it’s been awhile since she left. They come out of the bushes and spot Rick kneeling next to Terri’s carcass. Rick looking like OJ with Terri’s blood all over his hands panics and runs away. I love how Spinner made no attempt to chase him and stomp his ass into the ground. Instead he runs to get his cell phone.

At Degrassi Mr Raditch is telling the entire class that Terri was maimed that weekend and is in the hospital until further notice. Marco starts to ask Snake if it was an accident and Spinner cuts him off by saying that it wasn’t an accident. Ashley wonders out loud if Rick is in jail. Snake tells everyone since he’s a minor he’s not allowed to talk about any specifics. Spinner tells him that if he see’s Rick, his ass is grass. Oh lord Snake then says, “We can talk about our feelings together.” I’m with Spinner, get the fuck out of here with that hippy bullshit Snake. Paige busts out this lame looking get well card for Terri and everyone signs it.

Back to the B plot, Ellie is telling Marco that she doesn’t really want to go visit Terri since she didn’t even know her. And you know what? Why should she? Marco offers to go with her and that’s when Sean comes by and get’s instantly annoyed at seeing Marco next to Ellie. He makes a major alpha move and makes Marco move out of the way. It’s hilarious. Ellie now pissed off leaves Sean by himself and goes with Marco. Ellie doesn’t seem to know how to act in a relationship.

The next scene is at the local Degrassi hospital. Terri is so messed up that she’s now in a coma. Terri’s dad comes along and tells Spinner and Paige that she’ll be having surgery later on in the night because she has a blood clot. He then starts to go off on Rick and he can’t believe that little prick would hurt his daughter like he did. By the look on their faces he picks up on the fact that they knew that he was being abusive towards her.  Understandably he yells at the both of them and asks why the hell didn’t they say anything. The both of them just leave with tears in their eyes.

Outside The Dot Paige stops her mini van and starts to cry. Spinner tells her that she’s going to be ok and gives her a little smooch. At that Paige aggressively starts to make out with him. Even Spinner being a big horn dog isn’t down for this shit. Paige of course get’s all pissed off and starts with the blame game. She goes on to say that none of this would have happened if Spinner would have just left them behind like she wanted to. Spinner now angry blurts out the fact that she’s the one who told her to go off with him. Check mate!

Inside, Ellie is telling Marco that she should dump Sean because he’s being rude towards Marco. Marco points out that the only rude one in that relationship is her. Plus he’s tired of being her security blanket and feeling like a third wheel. I think he just doesn’t want to hang out with Sean’s scumbag friends.

All dejected, Spinner makes his way back to Degrassi and then he spots Rick waiting inside a car. Spinner get’s super pissed and drags his ass out. Rick starts to yell, “Spinner stop!” Spinner asks him if he stopped when he ravaged Terri. Paige then comes along pleading for him to stop too. Rick’s mom then comes out of the school and tells them to leave her son alone. Spinner just leaves crying. Ugh! I would have been like Kevin Dillon’s character in Platoon and told Spinner, “Fucking pussy! He’s laughing at you!” I would have beat the shit out Rick. But you know, this is Degrassi and it wants to teach that an eye for an eye is not the way. Spinner sits on a bench and starts to cry to Paige that he’s no different than Rick. Paige tells him that he is different because he stopped himself. *Eye roll* Whatever.

We conclude the B plot by Sean and Ellie having a conversation about their relationship. They both think that they’re dumping each other. Ellie tells him that she’s sorry for being a horrible girlfriend, and then she says, “You haven’t been a great boyfriend either.” I don’t know how she figures this, but Sean knowing better just agrees with her craziness and says that he doesn’t hate Marco, he just wants to date her.

At the hospital Terri’s dad comes out and tells them that they don’t know if she’s brain damaged or not. They all apologize for their behavior and Paige says that they should have said something. He makes them feel better by saying that they’re good friends.

Man, I must be rusty, this took me about two hours to write. Ridiculous. But this was a pretty good episode. I guess we had to have a domestic violence story and Degrassi delivered. I still say Rick should have had his balls cut off for what he did. Another frustrating thing is that we never found out if Rick was punished or not. But this is Degrassi after all and they always like to leave things open ended.

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Season 3, Episode 10, “Never Gonna Give You Up”

Ok, after a computer breaking down and then having internet issues, I’m back for another review of Canada’s most fucked up school.

Pre-credit opener: We open on the students sitting on the gym floor for some type of class and Rick’s trying his best to be Lord fucking Byron with Terri. You know, I had forgotten that she had even gotten together with him. Oh of course it’s Mrs Kwan’s English class, so you know, they’re doing another activity that barely has to do with the subject she’s supposed to be teaching. Seems that they’ll be reenacting a scene that Marco has written. I guess he think’s he’s the next Shakespeare. Jimmy tells the group that he doesn’t want to act so he wants to be the director. Rick being annoying as hell says that he’s better suited because his mom once took a shit where they had plays once. Jimmy quickly shuts him down and makes him the stage manager. His smug look and attitude is infuriating. He get’s pissed though when Jimmy announces that Terri is going to be the lead and she gives him a hug. Clearly this motherfucker is insecure.

rick

The rehearsal’s for the scene is on and Terri is the world’s worst actress. Jimmy tries to get her to relax, but that’s when Rick comes along and gives her the worst stage directions like breathing deeply. He should know that someone of Terri’s size can’t take deep breathing, she’ll get really dizzy and pass out. Anyways, she does what he told her and it’s even worse acting than before. Terri sucks so bad that Jimmy wants a meeting at The Dot after school.

We cut to Spinner and Craig and Spinner is really dismayed that JT has wormed his way into Paige’s good graces. That’s because if you remember, he tried to beat up Dean for raping Paige, but he lost the fight badly. So maybe she just feels sorry for him. But Spinner doesn’t give a shit because JT is fucking aggravating and is always around. Spinner comes along and shoves JT out of the way and tells him to get lost. JT being an annoying pecker head starts to mimic Spinner, driving him crazy. I know I would have beat the shit out of him long ago. But he’s pussy whipped by Paige and he leaves him alone.

jt-paige

In the next scene Rick is starting to show Terri how insecure he is by asking her how long she’s known Jimmy and if she likes him. She says yeah, and he quickly makes a face. She tells him not like she likes him. If he wasn’t such a spaz, he’d realize that Jimmy has zero interest in Terri. In Snake’s class, Jimmy makes a face as they kiss. Hazel laughs and says that they’re not that bad. But Jimmy says that Rick is the one who’s nauseating. At her computer station Terri has carved Rick’s name onto the desk.

Later on at The Dot, Rick is giving the group more pointers about the boring world of theater. After he finishes, Terri has this smug look on her face like she’s super impressed by Rick and his stupid bullshit. Spinner comes along and takes their order because he’s working there now and that’s when they start to notice that Rick is a bit controlling. Especially since she wants a burger and he suggests that she order a salad instead because of her weight. If the woman wants to eat her own weight in chicken nuggets than let her you asshole. Of course Terri being stupid, she neither minds nor notices.

terri-rick

Back at Degrassi, Mr Raditch asks JT if there’s something that he wants to tell him. JT being a fuck up wonders what he did now to piss him off. That’s when he shows him a note where apparently it’s a love note for Mr Raditch from him. JT adamantly denies that it’s from him and Raditch is relieved to hear that. As he walks away, JT opens his  locker to see that he has a love shrine dedicated to Radich and quickly slams the door shut. Right away he knows that it was Spinner who did it. He then makes it clear that he doesn’t want JT’s corny ass hanging around anymore.

mr-raditch

At the theater stage, Terri is talking directly to the audience like a robot thanks to Rick’s advice. At that Jimmy has had enough and he goes up to Rick and tells him not to be telling Terri want to do because her performance has become worse and worse each time. Rick offers to tell her, but Jimmy says that he will, later on at The Dot without him. Rick didn’t like that one bit and looks at Jimmy with hatred in his eyes.

In the hallway Spinner is telling Paige and laughing at the fact that he completely humiliated JT earlier that day. That’s when JT comes along and tears off Spinner’s track suit pants, revealing his heart boxers to the world at large. Spinner swears vengeance against JT as everyone including Paige laughs their asses off at him.

spinner

Elsewhere Rick is having a meltdown over Jimmy telling him what’s what. Rick being an asshole then tells Terri that she doesn’t have to listen to him. Terri points out that she sort of has to because Jimmy’s the director. Being a typical manipulator he tells her that he just doesn’t want her to make an ass of herself in front of everyone.

And what does she do? She makes an ass of herself, but only because she listened to Rick’s advice. It’s funny because she was doing just fine until she saw Rick and his look of disappointment on his face. She goes from being natural to talking like a 60’s robot who has breathing problems. I love how she see’s that everyone is laughing at her when she started to do that, but she just can’t stop herself.

terri-marco

After school, Terri starts to go off on Rick and his stupid stage directions that humiliated her in front of the whole class. She mentions how she should have listened to Jimmy and that’s when he grabs her wrist all hard and tells her that he doesn’t like that tone of voice. Terri all afraid tells him that he’s hurting her and to let her go. You can tell this piece of shit feels no remorse for what he just did.

rick-terri

The next day Rick like all typical abusers tries to act like nothing happened and makes it up to her by bringing her flowers. He starts to tell her his paranoid fantasies of Jimmy being into her. Once again she tells him that they’re just friends. He then changes tactics and goes on to say how beautiful and wonderful she is. Terri craving attention of this kind completely falls for it.

In the girls restroom Paige and Hazel are telling Terri how lucky she is that she found a sweet dweeb like Rick. Why is this important you ask? Well I’ll tell you. Paige wants to hang out at her house so that Terri can tell them all about her relationship and that’s when Terri says, “I’ll have to ask him first.” After Paige leaves, that’s when Hazel notices Rick’s hand prints all over Terri’s wrist. Right away Hazel knows what’s up.

Out in the hallway, Spinner and JT’s prank war continues. Spinner’s next move is to act like he’s over the whole thing, but behind JT, Craig comes along and puts a speaker device in JT’s locker. After he leaves JT tries to flirt with Manny the whore, but that’s when these really monster sounding farts start to come out of his locker. Manny leaves all disgusted and right away he finds it and knows that it was Spinner still fucking with him. I just noticed that the girl behind Manny seems to be checking out her ass.

manny

In the theater/gym, Terri decides to ask Rick if she can go and hang out with Paige and have a girls night. Being possessive Rick tells her that he doesn’t like that idea and even tries to invite himself along. He goes on to accuse her of wanting to talk about him and trying to pick up other guys. Terri tells him that he’s acting crazy and that’s when he snaps and decides to bitch slap the shit out of her. Terri see’s blood on her lips and just leaves without saying anything.

terri-rick-slap

At The Dot, JT decides to order a really complicated order which flusters Spinner because he’s an idiot. Spinner tells him to cut his shit out and that’s when JT starts to copy everything Spinner says again. Spinner loses his minds starts to rough JT up and that’s when the owner comes along and calls him into his office all pissed off. Now, JT fucking with Spinner at his place of work is not cool, he definitely deserves a severe ass kicking for that shit.

We cut to Paige’s and that’s when Hazel decides to grill her about their relationship. Especially the fact that Rick and Terri never fight. Terri says sometimes, but it’s mostly just Rick being abusive towards her. So it’s one sided. Hazel then notices Terri’s fat lip, Terri being the victim defends Rick and denies that Rick is hurting her. She even goes on to say that Hazel is being a hater and leaves in a huff.

She comes along to one of Degrassi’s back alley’s and runs into Rick waiting for her like a fucking stalker. He tries to manipulate her again, by saying how much he loves her. Terri upset about her fight with Hazel tells him that she just wants to be alone. That’s when Rick takes it as an opportunity to tell her that he’s making a new rule and that rule is that she’s only allowed to talk to Paige and Hazel at school only. Instead of telling him to fuck off with that, she just says that she needs to go to think. Rick yet again loses it and starts to accuse her of wanting to dump his ass. She tells him that she does love him, but that he’s clingy as hell. When he hears that he shoves Terri against a shed and then apologizes to her. Terri now pissed off tells him that that’s the last time that he’ll ever touch her.

rick-terri-angry

In the hallway JT is telling Spinner how sorry he is for getting him in trouble at work. Especially since Paige told him that he got demoted to dishwasher. I’m surprised that Spinner didn’t get fired for beating up a customer. Anyways, they both call of their prank war. Spinner agrees to it as long as JT promises to stop cock blocking him. All JT demands is to be treated like a Human. However, JT get’s one final laugh as Mrs Kwan comes along and shows Spinner a love poem that he supposedly wrote to her.

spinner-jt

Elsewhere Jimmy is telling Terri that if Rick ever does that kind of shit again, to let him know so that Jimmy can get his ass kicked by Rick. Because come on, Jimmy has lost every single fight he’s been in and lost them badly. Terri goes on to tell Hazel that she feels so stupid for putting up with Rick’s abuse. She’s even more stupid because she says that she still cares for him. At her locker Terri see’s that Rick left a rose for her like he did before they got together. The episode ends with Terri full of sass throwing it onto the floor and annihilating it with her foot while making direct eye contact with Rick.

terri-end-credits

I’ll say that this was a good episode and only because this was a completely recycled episode from Degrassi High when Kathleen and her formerly mustached boyfriend Scott beat the holy hell out of her too. You can check out my episode review here: https://degrassijuniorhighreviewed.wordpress.com/2014/09/04/season-1-episode-6-nobodys-perfect/ I mean, goddamn, they even reused the same exact situation about Kathleen wanting to rehearse a scene from a play. Not very original at all Degrassi writers. As for the JT and Spinner prank war, it was more annoying than funny. So meh. The whole JT being in love with Raditch was funny though, so I’ll give them that.


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Season 2, Episode 21, “Tears Are Not Enough, Part 1”

So we’ve finally made it to the season finale of season 2. Because the writers of this show hate me, they decided to make this a two parter. At least this is a good two parter.

Pre-credit opener: It’s after school and it seems like it’s the end of the year because Craig, Ashley and Sean are talking about finals. But I have to point out, it seems like it’s Fall instead. I guess the show wants us to believe that it’s always fucking cool up in Canada. Anyways, Craig says that science is his worst subject and out of nowhere, or hell, his dad shows up saying that maybe he needs help from a fellow mad scientist as himself. Craig is just about ready to shit his pants and tells him that he’s not supposed to be near him. But Dr Manning says that he just wanted to meet Craig’s friends. Ashley introduces herself while Sean, full of attitude spits in his general direction. Thus proving what a bad ass Sean is. You can tell his dad wants to beat the shit out of Sean, but he can’t since he’s in public. His dad pleads with him to  meet up to have dinner some time. You can tell that Craig is confused. He clearly still loves his pappy, but at the same time he’s known for being a mean son of a bitch who’ll give him a vicious beat down if he crosses him. What to do, what to do?

Craig, Ashley, Sean

We get a glimpse into Joey’s world and it’s what you’d expect. Chaos. There’s dirty dishes all over the sink, the place is a mess. Joey seems to be in a real hurry to get to his failing used car dealership and Angela, remember Angela? Well she seems to be feeling like complete shit. So much so that she spills her orange juice all over Craig’s homework. Craig acting like his dad loses it and she cries like a fucking baby. Badly might I add, she’s a horrible actress.

Angela, Joey

At Degrassi Craig asks Mr Hatzilakos something science related but I don’t know what she’s talking about because she looks smoking hot. Shit, she even bends over and Spinner, much like me is admiring her ass. Even the guy facing her wants to get a look at that rump. But Craig is so stressed out that he just snaps at Spinner to shut the fuck up. You know it must be bad because that booty is gorgeous. Ashley asks him what’s up and Craig pretty much says that he’s stressing out about his abusive dad coming back into his life. Ashley being stupid says, people can change. No they don’t.

Mrs Hatzilakos

Oh God, I thought we would get away with it, but we come to the B plot and of course JT is involved in it. What a surprise, he’s a complete idiot. Liberty being a brainac finishes her test all early, but she just has to have a smug grin on her face that’s infuriating. Meanwhile retard is definitely going to fail badly because you can tell he has no idea what any of the answers are. In desperation he walks up to her outside of the school and he asks her for help. Liberty though, is an asshole and she’ll only help him if he agrees to go to the dance with her. She’s so pathetic that she doesn’t care that that’s the only way she can get a date with him.

After school Craig goes to the local hospital to see his dad being decent to a patient worried about having surgery. Craig is all amazed to see his dad not going off on her. Dr Manning is all happy that he’s agreed to go to dinner with him and he leaves skipping into his office so he can change. While he’s waiting, one of the nurses comes up to him and asks him how he’s liking boarding school. Pretty obvious his dad lied to everyone due to avoiding embarrassment. The nurse goes on to mention that this is the first time in the history of ever that she’s seen his dad smile.

At dinner Craig brings up the fact that his dad lied to everyone and his dad tells him that he’s gotten himself into anger management and that he’s changed. Craig admits to him that he’s having trouble studying at Joey’s because Joey is a horrible parent and pretty much wants Craig to be the babysitter. So at that, his dad tells him to come on over to his house to study.

Back at Joey’s, Craig comes in late apparently and Joey starts to bitch him out because Craig didn’t clean up and make dinner for his lazy ass. Craig get’s pissed and tells Joey that he has more important things to do like studying for his exams, unless he wants to end up a bald loser like Joey.

Joey, Angela, Craig

The next day Craig goes to his dad’s house and asks him for help in the subject of science. Craig does the mistake of putting his glass of OJ on the table without using a coaster and right away he imagines his dad losing his fucking mind and takes out his belt to give him a bit of medicine. Craig is clearly still freaked out about all the beatings his piece of shit dad gave him for just about anything.

Dr Manning

It’s time for everyone to take their finals and Craig and Ashley do a little fist bump before going into class. Liberty seems to be more concerned about dressing up nice for JT. But it seems like her tutoring has paid off because JT actually passed his test. Yeah right. A moron like JT would quickly forget all the knowledge that he learned the day before. Being overconfident, he walks up to Paige and wants to ask her out to the dance, but Liberty comes along and ruins everything. JT not wanting to break her dweebette heart just ends up asking Paige to help Liberty with her outfit.

JT, Paige, Liberty

After school, Craig and Ashley come out and we can see how fucking cold it is because I just saw Ashley’s breath in the air. Turns out that Craig did well and now he’s asking Ashley to the stupid dance. Awkwardly I might add. But she agrees to go with him and that’s when his dad pulls up and calls Ashley Alison. The reason why he came by is because he wants Craig to have dinner with him again, but Craig says that he needs to babysit until 8:30. I’m guessing that’s the time that Joey has with the local Degrassi whore because how else is he going to get some.

Ashley, Craig

At Joey’s, Craig is busy playing some PS1 game and that’s when Joey calls him. It seems like Joey has managed to sucker in some poor Muslim couple into buying one of his shitty cars and wants another hour with them so that he can complete the rip off, I mean sale. Craig is completely worried now because he knows that his dad is impatient like a motherfucker. And to prove the point, we see him sitting alone at the restaurant getting all testy with a waitress. Fucking prick.

Craig finally after running clear across Toronto makes it to the restaurant. He’s way over apologetic and his dad just tells him to sit down and to relax. He pulls out a couple of tickets and they’re for London. He figures that they’ll go around Europe for the Summer, spending time together. But with Craig’s luck they’d be attacked by a werewolf and be turned into one. London is the birthplace of Canadian werewolves after all. His dad then drops the whammy on him that it’s time for Craig to come back home because Joey’s house is a steaming pile of shit. Craig tells him that he likes it there and doesn’t want to go back to Dr Manning’s house of torture.

His dad goes on to say that Joey’s isn’t stable. (I could have told you that!) But Craig get’s annoyed and says that being at Joey’s is stability and gives him the plane tickets back. So much for that plan. But shit, all that work that his dad did on anger management went right out the window. He get’s all upset and leaves the place in a huff. Craig goes after him and his dad starts to go off on him about Joey and how much of a weirdo Ashley is. Craig get’s pissed off saying, “Don’t say that about Ashley!” and pushes him. In retaliation his dad backhands the shit out of him, sending Craig bleeding onto the pavement. Right away his dad tries to apologize, but Craig points out that his dad always says sorry and that it’ll never happen again. Then the bastard has real nerve putting his anger on Craig by saying the he always screws up. His dad peels out all upset and Craig crying, starts speaking in tongues yelling at him.

Craig, Dr Manning Craig, Crying

Back at Joey’s, Joey notices that Craig is crying and that he has this big ol cut on his face. Joey is super pissed to find out that it was his dad who kicked his ass. He wants to call the police to press charges, but Craig says that he wants to call Children’s Aid the next morning because he never wants to talk to the motherfucker ever again because he hates his guts.

And he never will! The next morning the police come along and they talk to Joey. Craig asks him what’s going on. Thinking that his dad sent the police over to come get him. But it turns out that his dad is now a corpse just like his mother because he died in a horrible car accident. Thus making Craig an orphan. The episode ends with Craig’s shocked face. What a downer.

Craig, End Credits

So this episode was pretty good, much better than the last couple. But leave it to Degrassi to tackle the subject of death. I’m surprised Joey didn’t have a flashback to when Wheel’s nerdy parents were killed by a lousy drunk driver. Stay tuned for next time and check out the miserable conclusion to the season finale.


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Season 2, Episode 2, “When Doves Cry Part 2”

Pre-credit opener: We get a brief of JT’s shenanigans trying to get a date with Paige while we find out that new kid Craig is getting beat by his asshole dad.

We continue from the next morning with Craig checking out his badly bruised body in the mirror. At Degrassi his dad is dropping him off and he knows that he went way over board so he’s trying to pay Craig off by giving him a bunch of money so that he can buy himself a new camera. Because that’s what abusive shitheads like him do. He has the nerve to ask Craig, “No hard feelings?”

Craig, BruisedCraig, Craig's Dad

In the lunch line, JT is still scheming to get a date with Paige. That’s when Paige comes up to JT and she asks him out on a date because she’s desperate for money to fix her hair. She even tells him that it’s his treat. She leaves and Milhouse can’t believe that just happened.

Paige, Toby, JT

In the hallway Emma meets up with Craig and they start to talk about Joey. She goes on to tell him that she’s going to be babysitting Angela again after school and since his dad didn’t say anything about him not being able to see Emma, then it makes it alright. Wow that was fast, it’s after school and they pick up Angela. After much begging Emma let’s Craig take Angela to the park because she’s a little brat.

Angela, Craig

As they’re playing Angela accidentally hurts Craig because she just happened to touch one of his massive bruises. Because she’s a dumb kid, he tells her that it was a dinosaur that did it. If she saw Jurassic Park she’d know it was bullshit because he’d really be torn apart. Anyways, Craig comes up with a stupid idea of running away to British Columbia with her because he thinks he has enough money to survive, even though it’s just 300 dollars.

Uh oh Joey pulls up and he’s looking for Angela. Emma reluctantly tells him that she’s with Craig at the park. Joey get’s really annoyed with her because just like Caitlin she can’t mind her own business. At the mall Paige meets up with JT dressed like the unibomber. She just has to be a bitch about it and they go see Three Kicks to the Head Part 3.

Joey JT, Paige

Seem’s like Craig has now left the park and is getting Angela some ice cream. Again he brings up how great British Columbia is and is just about to take her to the bus station, but that’s when Joey shows up and ruins everything. After some small talk stupid Angela let’s Joey know that Craig wants to basically kidnap her and take her across the country. You can tell Craig wanted to tell her, “Shut your fucking mouth!” Joey tells him to stay away from her and Craig says that he can’t do that. All Joey does is yell at him so more.

Angela, Joey

At his house Craig is just sitting there at the table and that’s when his dad walks in. Craig goes on to tell him that the camera he wants costs a little bit more and they make some plans to eat dinner and get the one he wanted. But then Joey calls up and you just know he told his dad everything that Craig did. He can see the thunderheads in his dad’s eye and he rushes up to his room and barricades the door. While packing a bag, he calls up Sean of all people and asks him if he wants to hang out. He escapes out of a window before his dad can put him in the hospital or the fucking morgue because he was just breaking down the door with a golf club.

Craig's Dad

We go back to JT and Paige’s stupid date and I could careless about this goddamn sub plot. JT tells Paige a really stupid unfunny joke and she get’s offended because it was about cheerleaders. She then tells him her own stupid joke and JT laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. They’re interrupted by Spinner and Hazel and the both of them can’t help acting like a couple of assholes. Hazel points out that it seems like she was actually having a good time. Then not showing no social tact at all she pays Paige the money right in front of JT. JT asks her if she got paid to go out on a date with him and Paige just says, “Sue me.” What a couple of bitches.

Spinner, Hazel

Out in the industrial section of Toronto I guess Craig is telling Sean all about his dad and how he’s a surgeon that makes a shit load of money. He quickly adds that his job is pretty stressful and they fight a lot because of it. But it’s more that he takes it out on Craig. Once again he tells Sean about wanting to go to British Columbia because he has a few hundred bucks. Sean tells him that he’ll just end up on the streets and that’s when Craig suggests that they run away together. Sean having more common sense tells him that they can’t do that and besides he’s finally gotten his life together. Suddenly Sean figures out that Craig is getting abused because he asked if Sean got hit at home. Craig makes it really obvious that that’s what’s going on with him. He doesn’t get the chance to deny it because he starts to play chicken with an oncoming train. Sean tackles him off the tracks before he’s flatten and Craig just runs away like a maniac. Sean just yells, “Man what’s wrong with you?!”

Craig, Sean

At Joey’s house Emma just barges in because she doesn’t respect his privacy and tells him about Craig wanting to run away to British Columbia and that’s when Sean tells him that his dad beats him. Joey of course doesn’t believe them until Angelia tells him about the stupid dinosaur kicking the shit out of Craig on a daily basis. I swear there was a scene before this one where Sean went to Emma for help with the whole Craig thing. But I guess they deleted it for the DVD release.

Emma, Sean

Finally convinced, Joey and Sean comb the mean streets of Degrassi. While Emma stays behind to watch Manny junior, I mean Angela. She’s goes through Craig’s photo album and see’s that he’s obsessed with his dead mother. That’s when Joey calls and asks if he’s come in. Of course she says no and Joey is about to give up and that’s when she suggests checking out her grave site. (You know I just realized that his mom had to have known that his dad was abusive, possibly to her. This shit doesn’t just come out of nowhere. So going by that reasoning she basically left Craig alone to fend for himself with that fuckhead. Great parenting Julia Jeremiah!)

What do you know. That’s exactly where Craig is, hanging out at the graveyard like a huge creep. Joey tells Sean to hang back a bit while he tries to talk to him. Joey tells him that he just wants to help him and Craig shouts at him that he’s fine. Joey points out that he isn’t because he looks like a maniac. Joey brings up the train incident and Craig starts yelling at Sean saying that he’s a liar. Joey tells him to calm his ass down and Craig tells him that he has no where to go, especially back home because his dad kicks his ass. That’s when Joey confronts him about it and Craig admits that he does and that’s when he bursts into tears. They hug it out because what else can you do in a situation like that.

Craig, Crying

Back at Degrassi Paige surprisingly apologizes to JT because of how shitty she treated him last Friday night. I guess she’s not such a shitty person after all. She goes on to compliment him and tells him that he’s a good date and if he wasn’t such a huge dork, she’d probably go out with him. I’m surprised her clothes didn’t burst into flames because she just told the mother of all lies. Anyways, JT guilt’s her into giving him a kiss on the cheek. By the way, her hair still looks like shit.

Paige, JT

At Craig’s house Joey is telling Craig to not speak to his dad. He’s just to pack his shit and get the fuck out of the house. He mentions that his dad knows what’s going to happen so he’s not going to do jack shit about it unless he wants to end up in jail. Much like Kathleen’s abusive boyfriend his dad tries to guilt him into staying and tries every thing he can to manipulate him. Even comparing him to his dead mom who also left him and broke his heart. Craig then says that they have three options. He can go to Children’s Aid, go with Joey and try to figure everything out or he can stay there and let him continue to beat his ass. His dad of course denies that he does it and that seals the deal right there. The episode ends with Joey and Craig driving away from the house of abuse. I swear when this aired on the N there was a shot of Joey just looking at his dad all pissed off like he wanted to say, “You motherfucker.” But for the DVD release, it’s omitted.

Craig's Dad, Craig Craig

This was a pretty good second part to the first episode. It’s just too bad that they had to add in JT’s and Paige’s bullshit subplot. You can’t win them all.


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Season 2, Episode 1, “When Doves Cry Part 1”

So yes, welcome to the 2nd season of Degrassi the Next Generation. This one has been expanded to 22 episodes because the creators of this show wanted to torture me for as long as possible.

Pre-credit opener: Emma’s playing around with Angela Jeremiah who you’ll remember is Joey’s daughter. We then see that some creep is taking pictures of her. Turns out that it’s new kid at Degrassi Craig Manning. Joey seems to spot him and that’s when he disappears. He comes home to his dad who looks like Louis Skolnick from The Revenge of the Nerds. But he’s not a harmless dork like Louis was. Apparently Craig’s dad is an angry abusive son of a bitch. We clearly find that out within 30 seconds of meeting him. He acts like he’s cool that Craig is late at first, but then he throws his dinner on the floor like some spoiled kid and then has the nerve to tell Craig to clean it up. Craig is clearly terrified of this asshole.

Emma, Angela Craig Manning

We get some new additions to the opening credits with Craig and Joey now being in it. Joey clearly had nothing better to do and decided to be in Degrassi again. Finally it’s the first day of school and we see Toby and JT quickly explaining that Degrassi has added more students because of what? Over population? Come on! We got the same bullshit plot device in Degrassi Junior High. Not too original or creative Degrassi writers? Anyways, Toby right away makes himself look like the class dipshit with that webcam he’s carrying around.

Craig’s dad drops him off and Craig is trying way too hard to please him. You can tell that they’re trying to make it that his thing is being a photographer. But what kind of asshole brings a camera and film to school like that? No one that’s who. Emma and Manny see him and we can tell that Emma looks a bit older and not so googly eyed this time around. (Miriam McDonald who played Emma said on her Instagram that she had an eating disorder during the first season of the show, so no wonder she looked too skinny.) Both of them are lusting after Craig.

Craig, Dropped Off Manny, Emma

We come upon Jimmy and Spinner and wow Spinner has lost most of the baby fat he had in the first season. He’s complaining to Jimmy that they’ll be stuck there at lame Degrassi Community School for four more years. I guess the producers didn’t want to pay for another set or use another school. Cheap bastards. Craig runs into Sean and of course Sean get’s all annoyed but decides to befriend him because all of the girls apparently think that Craig is hot shit. But when I was a kid their age, I don’t remember girls being that damn aggressive. And yeah, Jimmy is still pissed off at Sean for the events that happened the previous season.

Jimmy, Spinner

In Mrs Kwan’s class, Mrs Kwan is further explaining that they closed down the high school and they’re not prepared for the over crowding that’s going on. I love how there’s not even any plans to build another one. But that’s our plot device to keep the whole cast together! Sean walks in late and already makes a bad first impression with Mrs Kwan. She tells everyone that they may have to share lockers. This is going to make for another annoying plot involving JT and Toby.

In Snake’s class, Snake is also explaining everything to the 9th graders. He wakes up Craig because he was sleeping in class and Craig proceeds to make an ass out of himself in front of everyone. See what did I tell you? JT and Toby have volunteered to share lockers. Emma points out that things are not going to end well between them because of it. And why the hell does Manny have huge boxing gloves on? Anyways, they start argueing already about who get’s the top shelf.

Manny, Liberty, JT, Emma, Toby

We then cut to Paige telling Hazel and Terri that she’s pissed off because she has a mullet. No she doesn’t. They just made her hair look really ugly and really doesn’t even come close to resembling a mullet. Anyways, they ask her what a mullet is and she points out two trailer park looking guys that have Joe Dirt style mullets. She’s ranting about her parents wanting her to clean out the garage so that she can get the money to get it fixed. She mentions child labor and Craig being stupid says that child labor is illegal. All three of the girls are all, “What the hell was that all about?”

Hazel, Paige, Terri

Shit, I’m barely 5 minutes in and I’ve already written 716 words. Ashley then comes along asking them how their Summer was but Paige is of course a bitch and is still holding a grudge from when Ashley called her a hag due to being high as fuck on Ecstasy. Terri just tells her to give Paige time.

Terri. Ashley

At some day care Angela spots Craig taking her picture again and I love how Craig doesn’t even try to not get noticed. Seems that Angela and Craig are half brother and sister. Their mother being Joey’s wife who died. She asks him if he wants to go to the local bone yard to see her grave but he declines and tells her not to tell Joey about him because he knows that his dad will total his ass if he finds out he was talking to her.

Milhouse, I mean Toby is telling JT about some system that he invented that pairs off students at the school due to many factors. JT has a huge hard on for Paige but they’re about a zero percent match because Paige is clearly way too hot for the likes of him. But he sure is a good match for Terri, even though I doubt she would go out with a little pipsqueak like JT. Snake wants to go home to wack off but he can’t because JT and Toby are busy with their nerd love date app. JT then vows to get a date with Paige.

Paige

At the cemetery Joey and Angela are leaving some flowers. Stupid Angela let’s it slip that she’s been talking to Craig and that’s when Joey finally notices Craig acting like the Tall Man from Phantasm just hanging out behind one of the tombstones being a creep and taking their picture. Joey calls him over, but that’s when Craig haul’s ass.

Craig, Taking Pics

HAHA! It’s hilarious, Craig photoshopped his pic onto theirs and you can tell that he’s fantasizing being in a family with Joey and Angela. Who can blame him though with having a prick for a dad. Speaking of, his dad comes home and Craig goes down stairs for dinner before his dad loses his goddamn temper again. Craig is all excited because they’re having roast beef and then makes the mistake of bringing up his mom. His dad instantly get’s pissed and looks at him with murder in his eyes. His dad then brings up the fact that stupid Joey called him up, but he just left a message. His dad is clearly super pissed that his wife would leave him for a loser like Joey. I gotta say, I would be upset too. Craig reassures him that he’s not going anywhere because he’s not like his mom.

Joey, Angela, Craig Craig's Dad, Craig

UGH! We go to the stupid B plot and JT decides to go for it and ask Paige out. He offers to carry her backpack and says that her wish is his command. Predictably she tells him to fuck off and even points out how gay they both seem because she says, “Go back to your girlfriend over there and leave me alone.”

Mrs Kwan is going through some exercise with her class and they all have to talk about themselves. Another thing that I’ve hated about school. I would always make up a bullshit lie. Craig get’s called and he’s wearing a Viking helmet for some insane reason. He starts talking about himself while mixing in some physics and brings up that fact that in the universe he’s nothing and wouldn’t be missed if he were to disappear. Clearly he’s in a lot of pain because of his dickhead dad treating him like complete shit.

Craig, Viking Helmet

In the Media Immersion class Emma and Manny are talking about Craig and their giant crush they have on him. He walks in and reminds Emma that they actually met before at Joey and his mom’s wedding. How Emma didn’t remember him is beyond me. She snaps out of her infatuation with him and she invites him over because she’ll be babysitting Angela and Spike is having a big party. After he leaves they both squeal with delight.

At Joey’s used car lot Craig’s dad interrupts Joey trying to rip off an east Indian couple. Joey brings up Craig and the fact that Angela and him are brother and sister and they should spend time together. Mr Skolnick though doesn’t want to hear it. Before he leaves stupid Joey throws Craig under the bus by saying that Craig has been seeing her behind his back.

Joey, Craig's Dad

Back to the studio back lot that looks like a neighborhood, JT once more asks Paige out for a date. I gotta give it to him. He sure has some balls asking her out in front of that asshole Spinner and Hazel. Again, they all just laugh at him and Spinner calls him a nob. Whatever the fuck that is. Spinner and Hazel then bet her to go on a date with him, so yeah, she’s doing it to fix her hair.

Spinner, Paige, JT, Hazel

At Spike’s house the big party is going on, but there’s barely like 5 people there. Oh look who it is, Yick is hanging out with them even though he barely interacted with them in the original series. Joey comes along and Craig get’s all nervous. Snake mentions that Joey had a date with a Playboy model. (Yeah Right!) But it turns out that she was old as fuck, so Joey would rather be at Spike’s birthday party instead. So wow, seems like Snake and Spike have become an item now, but we’ll deal with their bullshit relationship at a later episode. Joey tries to talk to Craig and the situation that’s going on. Joey tells him that he’s cool about Angela and him hanging out, but his dad is the one who has a huge problem with it because he’s filled with hate. That’s when Craig leaves in a huff because he knows that he’s in deep shit now because his dad now knows that he was seeing his sister.

Spike, Snake, Yick Craig, Emma, Joey

Outside his house Craig is looking at it like he’s prepared to go and meet his maker. He walks in and his dad is just sitting there at the table all silent and fuming. Ok we know that this is not a good sign. Craig goes to his dark room and see’s that it’s completely trashed. He comes down and tells him, “Are you looking for something?” And that’s when we see that he has Craig’s “The Perfect Family” album. Louis Skolnick then hulks out and completely annihilates Craig’s ass by literally saying, “I work my ass off for you. What do I get in return? I get lies!” He goes on to stomp the shit out of him and that’s when the episode ends with a shot of Craig’s shattered Camera and him crying out loud, “So this is what it feels like when doves cry!”

Craig's Dad, Craig, Beat Down Craig, Beat Up To Be Continued

So goddamn. That was a pretty intense first episode to the second season. I liked it, but Jesus enough with Toby and JT!! But we’re not done with this one yet. We continue this story line with Craig Gets His Ass Kicked 2: Electric Boogaloo.

In the second season of Degrassi we get to explore abuse of course. Depression, Rape, Eating Disorders, Death of parents, Hate crimes and Homosexuality. I gotta say, at one point in the series it seems like the entire school has become gay. There’s literally barely even any straight students. Would I say that Degrassi has an agenda with that? You betcha. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but they’re so obvious with it.