So the Craig and Ashley saga continues. Again, I have to say, who cares and I hate it that this one is a two parter. The writers just seem to enjoy torturing everyone with their bullshit romance.
Pre-Credit Opener: We see Craig and Ashley smooching in front of the school. After some dumb small talk it seems like Ashley doesn’t want her mom to see that she’s with Craig. I guess she hates his guts because he broke her daughters heart when he was banging Manny like a jack rabbit. She goes on to say that she’s been very busy with her dad’s upcoming wedding. Uh oh, Ashley’s mom pulls up and it’s clear that she wants to cut his balls off. Craig tells Ashley that he’ll call her later that night, but her mom tells him not to bother.
In the hallway Ashley is rehearsing what she’s going to tell her mom that Craig is back in the picture. Craig meanwhile is just focusing on the fact that her mom told him to not bother calling her. Craig is a classic narcissistic person. Suddenly we hear an according playing and it’s obvious that it’s Marco, but shit, now he’s singing Craig’s shitty song pretty badly. Turns out that they’re listening to a CD of their recording and Spinner tells him that that’s the finished product because he abandoned them for Yoko, I mean Ashley. He then pours out all the CD’s onto Craig’s feet and Marco tells him that it’s the one and only single that their band will ever put out. So it’s obvious that they’re still pissed. But Ashley tells Craig that she can careless because she’s back with him and that’s all that counts. That just goes to show how selfish she is too.
Oh great, so the subplot involves Liberty and the fact that she wrote a play. I already wish this episode was over with. She goes on to say that she doesn’t want to deal with it, but Manny tries to encourage her. No one should ever encourage Liberty. They go on to say that she adapted Dracula from the actual novel. She tries to sound all sophisticated with how she’s talking, but all it does is annoy the shit out of me. JT goes on to say that she’s brilliant and then mentions that he’s the director. Why would anyone let an immature dickhead like JT direct a play is beyond me.
In the MI lab Craig and Ashley are IMing each other and that’s when Craig shows her the lyrics to a new shitty song. Snake tells them to go back to work, but Craig is starting to act like a fucking maniac and is completely ignoring Snake. It’s easy to ignore Snake because who takes him seriously as an authority figure. After the third time of ignoring him, Snake tells him to take the computer in the corner. Craig starts to have a meltdown over being reprimanded and Ashley seems to be embarrassed for him, or maybe herself? It could be her. Anyways, Craig tells Snake to go fuck himself and storms out the door. Snake now completely defeated tells him to go to the office, but it’s obvious that he’s not. I know I wouldn’t listen to him.
Out in the hall way Ashley is asking him if he’s calmed down and he starts to go on about everyone trying to separate them. She tells him to chill the fuck out since they were talking in class. Ok, Craig is clearly insane, he get’s short with her and asks her who’s side is she on and then demands that she convince her mom that he’s not an asshole even though he is. She suggests that maybe they should tell her parents until after the wedding. Craig acting like a little bitch says that she doesn’t want him there.
In the next scene it seems like Manny is playing Mina while Alex I don’t know which character she is, but she’s in the drama club too. Who would have thought. Manny probably wants to make it like Bram Stoker’s Dracula and show her tits to the crowd. Mr Raditch meanwhile has called Liberty and JT aside and he has a big problem with the play because it has severed heads, stakes through the heart. You know, classic Vampire stuff. He’s overreacting because of what Rick did, she counters that by saying that she wrote the play to give everyone hope. Raditch sounding like a dictator wants them to have a musical about Degrassi and how awesome it is to go there. Even though a lot of tragedy has been associated with it since the original show.
In the hospital we see Jimmy listening to one of his mixtapes while he’s trying to do some exercises in bed. Craig then barges in wanting help on what to do with Ashley. Jimmy suddenly throws the bar away in frustration and Craig is barely realizing that all he does is complain about himself and his stupid bullshit problems. Jimmy meanwhile can’t even fucking walk anymore so he has bigger fish to fry. But it seems like he prefers that Craig talk about himself because everyone else tries to act like everything is ok. Jimmy suggests that he get her alone to talk to her. He says that he can’t because she’s busy with her dad’s stupid wedding while Caitlin is having their place painted. He then get’s the brilliant idea of booking a hotel room.
Going on with that insanity, he goes over to Joey’s and asks him for money. What a surprise, Joey says that he’s broke. Craig, Joey never has money because he’s a broke dick loser. Craig tells him that he has the money to pay him back, he just needs his credit card for one night only. Joey then mentions that the school called about him skipping out, but he just blows it off. Joey being fair, but firm tells him that he’s not lending him his card. So what does Craig do? Yup, he steals it.
At the wedding site Craig meets Ashley’s new aunt, some bimbo looking chick with a baby girl voice. She then starts to flirt with him, but he tells her that he already hurt Ashley once and no matter what, he won’t do it again. Ashley meanwhile is behind him listening and she’s elated to hear that. He quickly tells her that he got a room for the night and that she can go there after the wedding. Ashley’s mom then comes along and tells her that she made it clear that there’s no more room for other people. Especially greasy haired cheaters like Craig.
Afterwards he takes her to the motel room and Craig is one cheesy motherfucker. He has rose pedals on the floor in the shape of a heart with their initials in it. Ashley’s emo heart is beyond happy and she tells him that it’s perfect. She notices that he got a room with two beds but if he wants they can totally fuck and just share one bed. She says this while spreading her legs open. Woah Ashley! I never thought you had it in you! But the catch being that he wears a rubber. He goes into the drawer and takes out a whole package full of them. Glad to see he learned his lesson after he porked Manny and got her pregnant.
Good lord it seems like they boned their brains out because there’s clothes all over the place. Ashley meanwhile is getting dressed and crying uncontrollably. Craig instantly panics and apologizes if he did something wrong. Just like Caitlin in School’s Out, Ashley is crying tears of joy because she let Craig’s nasty ass break her little kitty in. She tells him to keep talking because he’s just been rambling this whole time and he fucks things up by saying that they should just take off and get an apartment together. Ashley tells him that she has to go because of her dad’s rehearsal dinner and he starts to act possessive. Ashley being stupid doesn’t seem to notice because she’s so “happy”. She then makes the mistake of saying that he’s as important to her as her dad and tells him to get dressed because he’s coming with her.
The episode once again comes to a screeching halt with Liberty’s boring subplot. Manny comes along to the Dot and that’s where Liberty and JT tell her that they’re now working on Degrassi the musical. Manny is beyond mortified at the thought and JT says that he quits and leaves in a huff. Manny pretty much tells her to go and seduce JT at her dad’s hot tub.
So it seems like the rehearsal dinner is at a gay bar. What the fuck? Those wacky Canadians again. Nah, I won’t say that because it’s not right. That’s Degrassi for you. Ashley walks in with Craig and it seems like his mom is ready to murder him, but all she says is that she needs a moment alone with Ashley. Ashley being stupid says that if she has something to say, she can say it in front of Craig. Craig out of his mind tells her that it’s ok and they should go have a talk. They start to talk and Ashley points out that not only did her dad leave her, he left her for another man and now she’s throwing him a goddamn wedding. So if she can forgive him, then she can forgive Craig.
Later on it seems like Toby is dancing with Ashley’s mom because not even a gay dude would want to dance with a toad like him. He see’s Ashley’s aunt Sally passing by and tries to talk to her, but she ignores him like everyone else does. Craig all of a sudden tells her that he has to leave for a bit, but that he’s coming back. Back at Joey’s he’s singing his stupid song he wrote about her and is digging out a packet out of an old shoe box.
He comes down in a suit and that’s when Joey asks him if everything is ok because he seems hyper as fuck. He tells them that he and Ashley are back together and he must have been out of his mind that he cheated on her with Manny. I love how he doesn’t remember that it was because Ashley wasn’t putting out and Manny spread those legs faster than could be believed.
Back at the gay bar Ashley notices that he’s come back in a suit and is wondering what’s up. He takes her aside and the crazy motherfucker is actually asking her to marry him. Ashley being freaked out tells him no. Craig immediately starts to lose his shit and starts to act like a maniac again. Ashley just stares at him and he leaves in a huff.
Oh lord we cut to Liberty and JT at her hot tub for some reason. They talk about more stupid ideas for the musical and one of the songs is sticking it to Mr Raditch.
Once again we go back to the gay bar and Ashley’s whorish looking new aunt wants to know what happened with Craig. She tells her that she doesn’t know if they’re still together but he asked her to marry him. The aunt is all surprised and wants to know what Ashley said, man, she’s nosy Ashley tells her that she said no and the aunt says, “But I thought you loved him?” Yeah, clearly she should not take any advice from this chick if she thinks Ashley getting married at such a young age is to be even considered.
The episode ends with Craig having the mother of all meltdowns. The room is a complete wreck, everything is broken including the TV. Joey is so fucked here, it’s even funnier because he probably can’t even pay for it. He’ll probably have to get Caitlin to foot the bill.
So I have to say, this episode was pretty meh for me. The meltdown was awesome, but shit, I can careless about Craig and Ashley’s relationship. I know they have their fans, I have no idea why, but they do. Don’t get me started on Liberty and her stupid play. I was hoping that she was being phased out of the show because we’ve hardly seen her this season, but there she is, boring everyone to death with her bland and lameness.