Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama. New reviews at least once a week. Hopefully. But if I feel like it I might make two to three reviews a week. So it'll depend.


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Season 3, Episode, 18 “Rock and Roll High School”

Welcome back to another episode review of Degrassi. Call me crazy, but I’ve always enjoyed this episode for some inexplicable reason. I mean, it has shitty singing from both Craig and Ashley, but got damn it, this is still a good one.

Pre-Credit Opener: Marco, Spinner and Jimmy happen to find Craig just staring at an ad on the school wall. Turns out it’s for a battle of the bands and the prize is to win studio time to record a single that no one will ever hear. The dudes much like Joey Jeremiah have delusions of grandeur. Ashley comes along and tells the guys to get out of the way because they’re signing up too. Craig tries to make nice but Ashley is obviously still angry about Craig porking and getting Manny pregnant. She predicts that the girls are going to kick their ass off the stage.

In Joey’s garage Craig is struggling to write some lyrics and it’s clear that he’s talentless. The rest of the guys walk in and Marco is seriously wimping out telling everyone that the girls are really good at playing emo rock. Well they do have the power to ward off sexual predators. Craig tells the guys that there is no fucking way that he’s going to allow Ashley to beat them. They start to jam and Craig starts to go off on everyone because they suck. Jimmy tells him to chill out before he breaks a foot up in his ass.

At Degrassi, Paige is telling the girls that Terri is doing much better, she might even open her eyes soon. Shit that is not doing better. She’s basically an invalid. Ashley for some reason hasn’t even gone to see her. That’s pretty low considering they were once best friends. Mrs Kwan walks in and Ashley starts to read lyrics from a song she just wrote and what a surprise it’s a downer. Craig starts to giggle and this mightily pisses Ashley off. Outside of class Ashley explains to the girls that it’s about a girl who died in the Spanish Civil War. Out of all the wars that have happened why that one and what 15, 16 year old girl talks about shit like that? Ellie tells her that it sucked and that it’s supposed to be about something about her. Ashley makes the song about Craig, again, what a surprise.

We cut to the B plot and it involves Joey and Caitlin.  Joey’s busy getting his grocery’s out of the truck of his used car that he drives around from his lot and that’s when Caitlin arrives in a cab. Angela is so excited to see her that she drops and breaks the eggs. Joey is super pissed because this means that he has to go to the dollar store again to get more. She starts to cry rather badly because she’s a horrible actress and Caitlin tries to cheer her up by doing a cartwheel. Joey tries to show that he’s fun and does a hand stand. Then he promptly busts his ass and hurts his back bad.

At the Degrassi mall kiosk Ashley and Craig run into each other and he tries to apologize for what happened. But this is Craig we’re talking about and he only apologizes for making fun of her song and not fucking Manny’s brains out. She get’s even more offended and leaves huffing and puffing away. Craig reasons that Manny seduced him, so he’s blameless.

The next scene is at Joey’s house where he’s dying from his back pain. I’ve had that before and it’s the worst pain ever. So for once I sympathize with him. Angela playing with Caitlin jumps on Joey and hurts his back even more. He can’t stand no more so he’s sending Angela away to his mom’s until he feels better. But Caitlin says that she’ll stay and take care of the both of them. Joey pretty much says that she’s not up to taking care of Angela because she’s a pain in the ass. But still she insists on helping. So she yells out to Angela and with crazy eyes says that she’s taking care of them both.

I guess we’re at the auditions for the battle of the bands and the guys are just doing an instrumental because they have no lyrics to their song yet. Craig all nervous says that he’ll take care of it. Coach Armstrong announces the next group and they’re called Hell Hath No Fury. The girls then come on and Ashley proceeds to destroy Craig and his character.

I’m already bored with the Joey, Caitlin subplot. Angela is being a little shit again and tells Caitlin that she doesn’t want to eat the slop that she made for breakfast. So Caitlin being stupid makes her some pancakes instead of telling her to eat her bowl of crap.

In Snake’s class, Craig walks in all pissed off and he tells Ashley that her lyrics weren’t cool. I don’t know why he’s so upset for, their song wasn’t even that great. Ashley and Ellie starts to say that he’s so vain because he thinks that the song is about him. Craig points out the obvious that Ashley is a bitter angry person and if she wasn’t such a prude, he never would have banged Manny. Which is the truth. Ashley all sarcastic says, ” But I thought you loved her.” It seems like Craig is about to tell her to go fuck herself but Snake tells them to shut up.

In the next scene Craig is telling the guys that he’s out of the competition, but Spinner says that if Ashley wants a war then she has it. We then get a horrible, lame rap that it’s obvious that Drake wrote it. Basically it’s about how much Ashley sucks as a person. Marco of course doesn’t like it and he takes him outside for some advice. Marco’s solution? For Craig to scream all his stress out. Yeah, that’ll do it.

Back to Joey’s house, Angela is now acting like a spoiled little shithead and tells Joey that her day out shopping was just ok even though she got a lot of new toys courtesy of Caitlin. She then announces that she’s going outside to play, but Caitlin tells her to wash up since it’s almost dinner time. Angela ignores her and starts to go out anyways. that’s when Caitlin finally get’s pissed off and tells her to get her ass upstairs and to wash her filthy hands. Angela says, “I hate you.” and goes upstairs stomping her damn feet. Joey of course being a big push over does nothing to punish his rotten little daughter.

Finally it’s time for the Battle of the Bands and the girls are wearing Craig on their shirts and it seems like his face is melting like on Raiders of the Lost Ark. Craig has had it with her petty shit and he starts to whine about how she won’t stop making his life a living hell. She starts to go off on him and says that he broke her heart when he fucked Manny into motherhood and says that she wanted to die because she’s emo as hell. Craig says that he’s sorry and says how many times he has to say it. Ashley all full of sass says, “Until you mean it.”

Ashley and the girls are then seen performing their ode to Craig and the crowd is just loving it. Outside it seems that Craig has flown the coop because he’s nowhere to be seen. Spinner says that they’ll be ok and they’ll use his lyrics instead.

The MC for the event comes out and he looks like Anton LaVey from the Church of Satan. (Google him) Oh we finally find out what their band name is and it’s The Downtown Sasquatch. I gotta say, I like it. Spinner makes an ass of himself and before he can embarrass himself further Craig comes out with a sheet of paper. It’s obvious he finally wrote the lyrics for their song. It’s pretty much about how he just realized how much he hurt Ashley and he feels like a complete pile of shit because of it. It’s hilarious to me that he just barely figured out that he broke Ashley’s heart. I gotta say, even though Craig sucks, it’s a very catchy tune.

We close out the B plot and Joey tells Caitlin that kids like Angela need limits and be told what to do. Caitlin sort of feels better for yelling at his annoying kid.

And so after just two bands the battle of the bands is over and the dudes are triumphant! Ashley comes by and tells Craig that his lyrics were just right. So shit, it seems like finally Ashley is over her heart break. And if you ask me, it’s about time.

So yeah, like I said, this was a good, entertaining episode. Even though I hate myself for sort of liking Craig’s song. True, the whole subplot with Angela and Caitlin was irritating as hell, but it was small enough that it didn’t effect the rest of the episode.


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Season 3, Episode 16, “Take On Me”

Ok all you Degrassi maniacs, this episode is possibly one of the worst episodes of the series. Definitely the worst one for this season. This is an episode that make’s me think, “Well this is unpleasant. Why do I want to be here?”

Pre-Credit Opener: Ellie comes up to the school and makes a face that pretty much shows that she doesn’t want to be there. We then see that she has some OCD thing because she starts to flick a rubber band she has on her wrist. Man she’s more fucked up than I thought. In the cafeteria Mr Raditch walks in dressed like a Mississippi Pimp. No, he’s obviously trying to dress like the asshole teacher was in The Breakfast Club. The students there are Sean, Ellie, Jimmy, Hazel and Toby. Anyways, Raditch just lays down the law and tells them to study and to think about why they’re there. Sean being a rebel burps at him as he’s walking out.

Being lameo’s they actually do what Raditch tells them to do. Except for Sean. Sean is just throwing his prized rubber ball against a wall, annoying everyone. Jimmy can’t stand it and just has to say something. Sean tells him to fuck off and throws the ball up. It knocks down a part of the ceiling almost killing Ellie. But Ellie does’t care about her well being, she just cares that it fell on her emo bag. Sean goes to see if everything is alright and Ellie acts all strange like she doesn’t want anyone near her bag.

I guess they don’t want to get into trouble so the guys are trying to put the ceiling tile back. But because Toby is a useless idiot he can’t get it back in. All of a sudden they get unbalanced and fall to the floor killing Toby. Yes! The moment that I’ve been waiting for. But no, they just fell and didn’t even get hurt. The episode would have been much better if it was one of those situations where they killed Toby and they got rid of his body and they all made a pact never to talk about it again. But they would never do something awesome like that. By the way, the stunt person they used for Toby looks hilariously bad. Anyways, Ellie helps Sean up and they seem to have a connection. Just like Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald!

Barely an hour has passed and Hazel is complaining about the Saturday detention taking an eon to be finished. Sean rolls his eyes and she says, “Some of us have social engagements.” Sean responds with, “Like what? Combing Paige’s ass hairs?” Jimmy acting like Emilo Estevez tells him to back his shit off. Ignoring him because Sean can easily kick his ass as we’ve seen in past seasons, he wonders out loud what Hazel did to end up in Saturday detention. Ellie all of a sudden says that she got caught skipping class. They all make a face like they don’t care and who asked her. Jimmy goes on to say that he’s there because gopher balls over on the other table fucked up hacking the school computer and ratted him out. Hazel meanwhile avoids the question and runs to the rest room instead.

Oh lord. Radich must be at the peak of his homosexuality and is working out with some tight work out clothes and listening to some disco music in the school gym. Hazel walks in and he’s obviously embarrassed that she saw him doing his jazzercize .

Later on the five of them have become so bored that they start to play truth or dare. Seems like it’s Hazel’s turn and she says that she choose’s truth. Ellie right away wants to know why she’s there. Hazel being odd about it doesn’t want to say and says that she wants to do dare instead. Of course they pick out the worst dare that anyone could have come up with. She has to kiss Toby. Disgusted at first she decides to take a bite out of her shit sandwich and walks over to him. The cheesiest sexy music comes on and and she gives him a kiss while Toby is making a face that he can’t believe that a hot girl like Hazel would ever kiss a fucking dweeb like him.

Outside the school Snake is coming out of his car still looking like Lex Luthor but is looking much better. Seems like he’s finally coming back to work.

Back to the lame Breakfast Club, Toby is telling Hazel that JT is going to be so jealous after he hears that he kissed Hazel. Hazel tells him that he’s not telling him shit. Sean asks her what her problem is since it was just a stupid dare. Jimmy speaking for all of us, especially me says, “Because she’s too embarrassed to say that she macked with a total geek.” Toby knowing that he’s hated by all leaves all disappointed and back to his spot under the stairs like the troll that he is. Sean now pissed off starts to get mad at her and says that she’s a person who follows all the rules and doesn’t have the balls to tell anyone why she’s there. After Sean starts hounding her Hazel admits that she got caught looking at porn on the school computer, much to the delight of all of them.

To make the time go by fast they start to play games where they’re throwing shit at Toby. I told you, no one likes him. Snake comes in and asks them what is going on in there. Jimmy tells him that they’re all there because Mr Raditch gave them all Saturday’s. Snake then tells everyone that he’s all done with chemo and he’s ready to work again. He just doesn’t want to be stuck at home with Spike and her Devil child. So who can blame him.

Sean sits next to Ellie and he asks her what’s up with her and the rubber bands. Ellie tells him that it’s a therapy technique to help her stop cutting herself. Sean being genuinely interested asks her why she cuts herself. Being emo as hell, she tells him that it’s the only pain that she could control. He says that it makes sense and she tells him that he’s the first person to say that. She goes on to say that people talk about him too and his reputation for stealing shit from the school. He pretty much admits that he does steal. Just as Jimmy is impaling Toby with a stick Radich walks in and is super pissed to see them goofing off. Ah, we finally see why Ellie was careful with her bag, she has a tape recorder there. Why she would want to record them is beyond me, they’re all so boring.

And we quickly get the answer to that in the next scene. Seems that she’s taping them for some stupid report for either the school paper or Caitlin’s TV station. So wow, Raditch has put each of them in separate rooms for the rest of the day. That’s pretty illegal to do, especially since he’s not even supervising them. Ellie comes into each room and talks everyone into breaking out and wandering around the school. So yeah, we get a lame montage of the five of them doing wacky stupid shit around the school. Eventually they find an elevator that leads to the roof.

Being a big puss Toby is telling them that he doesn’t think that it’s such a good idea. Hazel tells him, “Stop being a bitch and come on!” Hazel wonders out loud if they’re the only ones that have gone up there. Jimmy finds a necklace making it obvious that other people have been up there before. Being romantic he gives the dirty thing to Hazel because she loves it so much. Jimmy then decides to go for it and kisses her. Else where Sean tells Ellie that he thinks that she’s cute. Sean goes on to say that she doesn’t seem afraid of him. Ellie points out that Sean isn’t freaked out by all of her problems either. I guess this is her being romantic, she exposes her arm and shows Sean all of her hideous scars. Because he’s cool, Sean just holds her hand.

Alone because who would want to be with Toby, he sees Mr Raditch and Snake walking out, talking about all the bad behavior from the students lately. Snake tells him that they’re acting like the police. They should educate them yes, discipline them when it’s needed. But that life is too short and he shouldn’t be trying to control them. It seems like he took what Snake said to heart but then he see’s Toby up there because he’s a stupid fuck. Raditch makes a run for it, while the rest of the Degrassi kids do the same.

The rest of them make it to their respective class rooms but stupid Sean locked his own door for some reason. Jimmy tries to help but it’s too late. Sean just tells him to go just as Jimmy opens the door. But uh oh, as he’s running in he drops the keys that Raditch finds as soon as he goes into the hallway. Back in the cafeteria, Raditch is chewing them all out. Since no one is going to rat the person who did it, he decides to give them all Saturday’s for another three weeks. But he seem’s to have a change of heart and just says that he’s trying to do the right thing with them. At that Toby tells him that it was him who took the keys. He tells him that he appreciates his honesty and then tells the rest of them to go home and enjoy their weekends.

Jimmy tells him that he didn’t expect for Toby to be a man and he finally gives him that high five that he was waiting for in the previous episodes. Ellie says that they should take a group photo. As she’s taking out her camera, the tape recorder falls out and they all hear Sean and Ellie’s conversation. They all get disgusted at her and she explains that it was for the TV station. Toby’s all, “You were recording us?” But please, no one gives two fucks for Toby. Sean quickly figures out that it’s about all the thefts that has been happening around the school. Sean pissed off destroy’s her tiny tape with his boot and leaves fuming. Man, Ellie is going to cut the shit out of her arm now.

Seems like it’s Monday and Jimmy and Hazel are now a couple. As they pass by she says hi to Toby. JT noticing that someone cool actually talked to him asks what happened there that past Saturday. Ellie comes by Sean’s locker and says that she was wrong for what she did. But she really wants the connection that she had with him on the roof. She gives him another tape and says that there isn’t going to be a story. Sean having warmed up to her holds her hand and Ellie is happier than a pig in shit.

So yeah, this episode fucking sucked and it was a chore just to make a recap of it. It was such an unoriginal idea and they probably figured that any kid watching this has never seen or heard of The Breakfast Club before. I will admit that it was key in that two relationships blossomed from it and Toby is now being acknowledged as being a Human. But that wasn’t enough to save this shitastic episode. It was such bad TV and I hate the writers of this show for ripping off and ruining The Breakfast Club for life.


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Season 3, Episode 13, ” This Charming Man”

In this episode Sean continues his downward spiral with Canada’s lamest gangstas. While the upper class men dive into the wonderful world of Drivers ED.

Pre credit opener: We begin the episode in Mr Armstrong’s math class. Chris comes along and asks Emma, “So English, did you read the chapta?” I ain’t bullshitting either, that’s how he said it. Emma all smitten with him says, “Sure.” then smiles at him like she has a little girl crush. Class begins and Emma get’s called up to the chalk board to answer a problem. She’s interrupted by Sean and his new big breasted girlfriend Amy making out in class. Emma doesn’t like this one bit and just glares at him with hatred in her eyes. Chris meanwhile is wondering why she even cares about an asshole like Sean for.

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At Emma’s house, Spike proudly shows Emma Snake’s birthday gift which is a new used laptop. Fucking Spike is too cheap to get him a brand new one I guess, but then again, he did lose the other one thanks to Sean. So Snake seems to be out of luck. Emma offers to back up his data and she get’s instantly sad when she see’s a picture of her and Sean. It doesn’t last long though because she deletes it out of spite. Spike has taught her daughter well.

Back at Degrassi, JT and Toby are talking about Sean practically fingering Amy in math class. Emma tries to act like it doesn’t bother her, but clearly it does. They then start to talk about the rumors that Sean’s lame gang are stealing all sorts of shit from the school like the construction paper and all the Now and Later’s they could get their hands on. JT pretty much suggests that maybe it was Sean who stole Snake’s laptop, but Emma for some weird reason doesn’t think that he’s scumbag enough to do that to a sick man like Snake. But oh, yes he is.

The B plot involves Spinner, Paige, Jimmy and Hazel taking Drivers E.D. Paige tries to play with Spinner but he’s a nervous wreak because he wants to ride like the wind when he get’s his license. Big surprise he’s studying and can’t retain the knowledge. Plus he’s also blaming a Mrs Gonzalez for being a hard ass teacher.

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In the MI lab I’m assuming, Ashley and Emma want to use the DVD player for their environmental club, but big surprise, there’s a DVD player missing. Right away Emma suspects that it’s Sean and his crew of flunkies. So being Emma, she spots them outside and starts asking them if they know anything about it. Sean denies it and then has the nerve to act like he’s all hurt by the accusation. Oh lord, Chris comes along fucking beat boxing again, Emma clearly isn’t in the mood for his stupid bullshit. Emma starts to say that she’s trying to remember what it was about Sean that she liked. Chris again barely being understandable says something along the lines of, “Don’t bother, Slim Shady isn’t worth remembering.” He then asks her out on a hot date for some milk shakes, which quickly makes Emma’s day.  Chris meanwhile is so happy he starts to rap and pop and locks his way out of school with some Degrassi style hip hop music playing in the background.

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Outside the older kids are waiting for their teacher and Spinner is delighted to see that it’s actually someone else. Some dude comes out of the car and Paige is instantly smitten with him. He calls himself Mr Falcone, but I always just call him Mr Falcon. Paige is now all hot and bothered and acts all nervous around Mr Wonderful.

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At the Dot Emma and Chris are having their date but she’s quickly distracted by Sean and his friends walking in. Chris is trying to sound like he’s interested in Emma boring crap but he’s going nowhere because she’s so fixated on Sean. All of a sudden she spots Jay stealing candy from the joint. What is it with these motherfuckers and candy? Anyways, Emma has had enough and decides to rat them out to the owner.

As they’re waking home Emma decides to go for it and asks Chris if he wants to go to Snake’s birthday party. He says sure and offers to rap for all the guests. Emma’s joy is short lived because Sean and his “gang” arrive and Jay get’s into her face. He tells Emma that they’re now banned for life from the Dot. Chris then get’s into his face and tells him to go eat somewhere else. Sean knowing that Jay would probably get his ass kicked tells him to just go. But Jay says that since they want to ruin their fun, he’ll start ruining their’s as well. Emma all smart alecky says, “And what is fun for you Jay? Stealing the school DVD player?” Because Jay is a dickhead, he pretty much admits that they stole Snake’s laptop. Sean makes it worse by making a face at him, pretty much cementing his guilt.

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Later on at night Snake is working on his piece of shit computer because he can’t sleep. He’s getting super frustrated because it keeps freezing on him. Hey, we’ve all been there right? Snake says that if he hadn’t lost his other one, he wouldn’t be using Spike’s cheap one. That’s when Emma says, “You didn’t lose it.” Snake asks her what’s that supposed to mean, but she annoyingly says, “Nothing.” I hate it when people do that.

Emma spots Chris at his locker and he says that he has the best present for Snake’s party. Turns out that he wants to give him his mix CD. But he can’t really tell Emma because she’s now obsessed with ruining Sean’s life. You can tell that he’s getting sick and tired of her.

At the drivers ed class, Spinner and Jimmy are making fun of Paige because she’s doing horribly in the class. Hazel meanwhile has quickly figured out that Paige is sucking badly in class because she wants to do Mr Falcon.

In the hallway Emma see’s another picture of her and Sean and she destroy’s it because she’s hella petty. She then see’s Sean and I gotta say, he is acting suspicious as hell. Looking all over the place holding a box close to his chest. Emma decides to play detective and starts to follow him around. But that’s the thing, she’s horrible at it and Sean confronts her and shows her that the box just has a bunch of jumpsuits for autoshop. He then starts to talk straight with her and pretty much tells her what’s what. He tells her that he’s sorry that he hurt her and that their breakup sucked. He then goes on to say that what he does with Jay and his new hoe Amy are none of her business. Which is true. Emma of course get’s pissed off even more because she doesn’t like being talked to that way.

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Out in some park Spinner and Jimmy are still making fun of Paige, but that’s when stupid Hazel says that the only reason she’s doing bad is because of Mr Falcon and that Paige likes him. Spinner being a moron doesn’t get it right away, but he becomes infuriated and leaves huffing and puffing when he figures out that Paige want’s Mr Falcon’s D.

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In the MI lap JT is playing NBA Jams on the computer and that’s when Chris comes along and says that Sean really fucked her up good. See, I told you he’s getting tired of her shit. JT doesn’t help matters by pretty much implying that he’s just her rebound. Chris now has the idea in his head and that’s when Emma comes around for her next scheme at getting back at Sean. She basically wants him to help her narc on Jay and Sean to Mr Raditch. Chris is all, “You’ll let this go?”Emma lies and says yes.

In Radich’s office Chris is actually being honest when they get asked if they saw Jay stealing all the shit that they’re accusing him of. He starts to say no, but he’s cut off by Emma. With no shame or remorse, she starts to say that she and Chris saw Jay and Sean loading some equipment into Jay’s car. Chris is so disgusted by her that he makes a face that makes him look like he smelled a really rancid fart. Radich of course has no choice but to call the police.

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Back to the B plot, Spinner is acting all aggressive towards Mr Falcon, being super disrespectful and talking shit. Paige tells him to calm down, but Mr Falcon tells her to stop distracting him because he has to improve. Spinner meanwhile is so caught up with hating him that he crashes the car. He probably did it on purpose because he wanted to kill him. The stunt man with the Zack Morris hair looks hilarious in this screen shot.

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Outside the school Jay’s car is being searched by the Mounties. Jay being a smartass is telling them that they won’t find a thing because he’s innocent. Emma comes along and Sean starts to go off on her, not believing that she’s that fucking petty. But this is Spike’s daughter we’re talking about. Of course she’s petty as hell. Mr Raditch interrupts him and asks if there’s anything he wants to say. Sean blurts out, “Yeah! Eat a bowl of dicks!” Radich then gives him Saturday’s for the next two months. He then adds, “Don’t mess with the bull young man, you’ll get the horns.” Sean meanwhile spits in front of Emma’s feet and leaves fuming.

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In the hallway Emma finds Chris and she’s all giddy about getting Sean in trouble. Chris asks her, “What about Simpson’s computer?” That’s when Emma shows her true colors and says, “What about it?” Chris has finally had it when she says, “Sean is finally going to pay for what he did to me.” He goes on to say that she’s not over him yet and that he’s just wasting his time. Which is so damn true. He does the Electric Slide and leaves all pissed off.

It’s finally Snake’s big birthday bash and Spikes brings him a desk top cake. I guess Snake is now known as being a techno nerd douche bag instead of the life ruining idiot he was back in School’s Out. Snake tells Emma that he heard that Chris is going to make an appearance but she says that he’s not coming due to him hating her guts. Snake just tells her that if he’s a good person, he’ll forgive her.

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At the Dot Paige comes by and Spinner tells her to leave him alone because he’s working so that he can pay for all the repairs that he did to the student car. Paige tells him that she loves him and blah, blah, blah. Spinner tells her that he switched them back to the mysterious Mrs Gonzalez. I had no idea students had the option to switch back in forth between teachers. But hey, this is Degrassi. Paige says, “It’s ok, I will miss those dimples, chiseled jaw and that huge bulge of his.” Spinner get’s steamed but that’s when she laughs and says that she’s just kidding.

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In the last scene Emma spots Chris at the mall and she tells him that she loves track 3 to whatever rap album he’s listening to. But Emma is full of shit. You can tell that she listens to The Dave Matthew’s Band and Nickelback. She starts to then kiss his ass and asks him for another chance. She promises that she’ll never talk about Sean again and that she did what she did because he broke her heart. Chris mumbles, “Does it feel any betta?” She says that it might if he would come over for some birthday cake.

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So this episode pretty much sucked. I didn’t care for the B plot at all and Emma was just annoying as hell through out. I can totally see why people hate Emma so much for. But no worries Degrassi fiends. The next episode is better because we continue with Manny and Craig’s relationship. See I told you Manny became a much more interesting character once she stopped hanging out with Emma.

 

 


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Season 3, Episode 10, “Never Gonna Give You Up”

Ok, after a computer breaking down and then having internet issues, I’m back for another review of Canada’s most fucked up school.

Pre-credit opener: We open on the students sitting on the gym floor for some type of class and Rick’s trying his best to be Lord fucking Byron with Terri. You know, I had forgotten that she had even gotten together with him. Oh of course it’s Mrs Kwan’s English class, so you know, they’re doing another activity that barely has to do with the subject she’s supposed to be teaching. Seems that they’ll be reenacting a scene that Marco has written. I guess he think’s he’s the next Shakespeare. Jimmy tells the group that he doesn’t want to act so he wants to be the director. Rick being annoying as hell says that he’s better suited because his mom once took a shit where they had plays once. Jimmy quickly shuts him down and makes him the stage manager. His smug look and attitude is infuriating. He get’s pissed though when Jimmy announces that Terri is going to be the lead and she gives him a hug. Clearly this motherfucker is insecure.

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The rehearsal’s for the scene is on and Terri is the world’s worst actress. Jimmy tries to get her to relax, but that’s when Rick comes along and gives her the worst stage directions like breathing deeply. He should know that someone of Terri’s size can’t take deep breathing, she’ll get really dizzy and pass out. Anyways, she does what he told her and it’s even worse acting than before. Terri sucks so bad that Jimmy wants a meeting at The Dot after school.

We cut to Spinner and Craig and Spinner is really dismayed that JT has wormed his way into Paige’s good graces. That’s because if you remember, he tried to beat up Dean for raping Paige, but he lost the fight badly. So maybe she just feels sorry for him. But Spinner doesn’t give a shit because JT is fucking aggravating and is always around. Spinner comes along and shoves JT out of the way and tells him to get lost. JT being an annoying pecker head starts to mimic Spinner, driving him crazy. I know I would have beat the shit out of him long ago. But he’s pussy whipped by Paige and he leaves him alone.

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In the next scene Rick is starting to show Terri how insecure he is by asking her how long she’s known Jimmy and if she likes him. She says yeah, and he quickly makes a face. She tells him not like she likes him. If he wasn’t such a spaz, he’d realize that Jimmy has zero interest in Terri. In Snake’s class, Jimmy makes a face as they kiss. Hazel laughs and says that they’re not that bad. But Jimmy says that Rick is the one who’s nauseating. At her computer station Terri has carved Rick’s name onto the desk.

Later on at The Dot, Rick is giving the group more pointers about the boring world of theater. After he finishes, Terri has this smug look on her face like she’s super impressed by Rick and his stupid bullshit. Spinner comes along and takes their order because he’s working there now and that’s when they start to notice that Rick is a bit controlling. Especially since she wants a burger and he suggests that she order a salad instead because of her weight. If the woman wants to eat her own weight in chicken nuggets than let her you asshole. Of course Terri being stupid, she neither minds nor notices.

terri-rick

Back at Degrassi, Mr Raditch asks JT if there’s something that he wants to tell him. JT being a fuck up wonders what he did now to piss him off. That’s when he shows him a note where apparently it’s a love note for Mr Raditch from him. JT adamantly denies that it’s from him and Raditch is relieved to hear that. As he walks away, JT opens his  locker to see that he has a love shrine dedicated to Radich and quickly slams the door shut. Right away he knows that it was Spinner who did it. He then makes it clear that he doesn’t want JT’s corny ass hanging around anymore.

mr-raditch

At the theater stage, Terri is talking directly to the audience like a robot thanks to Rick’s advice. At that Jimmy has had enough and he goes up to Rick and tells him not to be telling Terri want to do because her performance has become worse and worse each time. Rick offers to tell her, but Jimmy says that he will, later on at The Dot without him. Rick didn’t like that one bit and looks at Jimmy with hatred in his eyes.

In the hallway Spinner is telling Paige and laughing at the fact that he completely humiliated JT earlier that day. That’s when JT comes along and tears off Spinner’s track suit pants, revealing his heart boxers to the world at large. Spinner swears vengeance against JT as everyone including Paige laughs their asses off at him.

spinner

Elsewhere Rick is having a meltdown over Jimmy telling him what’s what. Rick being an asshole then tells Terri that she doesn’t have to listen to him. Terri points out that she sort of has to because Jimmy’s the director. Being a typical manipulator he tells her that he just doesn’t want her to make an ass of herself in front of everyone.

And what does she do? She makes an ass of herself, but only because she listened to Rick’s advice. It’s funny because she was doing just fine until she saw Rick and his look of disappointment on his face. She goes from being natural to talking like a 60’s robot who has breathing problems. I love how she see’s that everyone is laughing at her when she started to do that, but she just can’t stop herself.

terri-marco

After school, Terri starts to go off on Rick and his stupid stage directions that humiliated her in front of the whole class. She mentions how she should have listened to Jimmy and that’s when he grabs her wrist all hard and tells her that he doesn’t like that tone of voice. Terri all afraid tells him that he’s hurting her and to let her go. You can tell this piece of shit feels no remorse for what he just did.

rick-terri

The next day Rick like all typical abusers tries to act like nothing happened and makes it up to her by bringing her flowers. He starts to tell her his paranoid fantasies of Jimmy being into her. Once again she tells him that they’re just friends. He then changes tactics and goes on to say how beautiful and wonderful she is. Terri craving attention of this kind completely falls for it.

In the girls restroom Paige and Hazel are telling Terri how lucky she is that she found a sweet dweeb like Rick. Why is this important you ask? Well I’ll tell you. Paige wants to hang out at her house so that Terri can tell them all about her relationship and that’s when Terri says, “I’ll have to ask him first.” After Paige leaves, that’s when Hazel notices Rick’s hand prints all over Terri’s wrist. Right away Hazel knows what’s up.

Out in the hallway, Spinner and JT’s prank war continues. Spinner’s next move is to act like he’s over the whole thing, but behind JT, Craig comes along and puts a speaker device in JT’s locker. After he leaves JT tries to flirt with Manny the whore, but that’s when these really monster sounding farts start to come out of his locker. Manny leaves all disgusted and right away he finds it and knows that it was Spinner still fucking with him. I just noticed that the girl behind Manny seems to be checking out her ass.

manny

In the theater/gym, Terri decides to ask Rick if she can go and hang out with Paige and have a girls night. Being possessive Rick tells her that he doesn’t like that idea and even tries to invite himself along. He goes on to accuse her of wanting to talk about him and trying to pick up other guys. Terri tells him that he’s acting crazy and that’s when he snaps and decides to bitch slap the shit out of her. Terri see’s blood on her lips and just leaves without saying anything.

terri-rick-slap

At The Dot, JT decides to order a really complicated order which flusters Spinner because he’s an idiot. Spinner tells him to cut his shit out and that’s when JT starts to copy everything Spinner says again. Spinner loses his minds starts to rough JT up and that’s when the owner comes along and calls him into his office all pissed off. Now, JT fucking with Spinner at his place of work is not cool, he definitely deserves a severe ass kicking for that shit.

We cut to Paige’s and that’s when Hazel decides to grill her about their relationship. Especially the fact that Rick and Terri never fight. Terri says sometimes, but it’s mostly just Rick being abusive towards her. So it’s one sided. Hazel then notices Terri’s fat lip, Terri being the victim defends Rick and denies that Rick is hurting her. She even goes on to say that Hazel is being a hater and leaves in a huff.

She comes along to one of Degrassi’s back alley’s and runs into Rick waiting for her like a fucking stalker. He tries to manipulate her again, by saying how much he loves her. Terri upset about her fight with Hazel tells him that she just wants to be alone. That’s when Rick takes it as an opportunity to tell her that he’s making a new rule and that rule is that she’s only allowed to talk to Paige and Hazel at school only. Instead of telling him to fuck off with that, she just says that she needs to go to think. Rick yet again loses it and starts to accuse her of wanting to dump his ass. She tells him that she does love him, but that he’s clingy as hell. When he hears that he shoves Terri against a shed and then apologizes to her. Terri now pissed off tells him that that’s the last time that he’ll ever touch her.

rick-terri-angry

In the hallway JT is telling Spinner how sorry he is for getting him in trouble at work. Especially since Paige told him that he got demoted to dishwasher. I’m surprised that Spinner didn’t get fired for beating up a customer. Anyways, they both call of their prank war. Spinner agrees to it as long as JT promises to stop cock blocking him. All JT demands is to be treated like a Human. However, JT get’s one final laugh as Mrs Kwan comes along and shows Spinner a love poem that he supposedly wrote to her.

spinner-jt

Elsewhere Jimmy is telling Terri that if Rick ever does that kind of shit again, to let him know so that Jimmy can get his ass kicked by Rick. Because come on, Jimmy has lost every single fight he’s been in and lost them badly. Terri goes on to tell Hazel that she feels so stupid for putting up with Rick’s abuse. She’s even more stupid because she says that she still cares for him. At her locker Terri see’s that Rick left a rose for her like he did before they got together. The episode ends with Terri full of sass throwing it onto the floor and annihilating it with her foot while making direct eye contact with Rick.

terri-end-credits

I’ll say that this was a good episode and only because this was a completely recycled episode from Degrassi High when Kathleen and her formerly mustached boyfriend Scott beat the holy hell out of her too. You can check out my episode review here: https://degrassijuniorhighreviewed.wordpress.com/2014/09/04/season-1-episode-6-nobodys-perfect/ I mean, goddamn, they even reused the same exact situation about Kathleen wanting to rehearse a scene from a play. Not very original at all Degrassi writers. As for the JT and Spinner prank war, it was more annoying than funny. So meh. The whole JT being in love with Raditch was funny though, so I’ll give them that.


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Season 2, Episode 22, “Tears Are Not Enough Part 2”

I can’t believe it. We made it to the last episode of season 2. I would have to agree with some of you that this season wasn’t that great. With that being said, we conclude this downer of a two episode finale.

Pre-credit opener: I’m surprised we didn’t get a previously on Degrassi. But we open up with Sully and his ugly mug doing video announcements for the big luau dance. Snake being very serious turns off the TV and tells the class that Craig’s dad died in a horrible car wreck and now haunts the streets of Toronto. Much like Large Marge went around in her rig on the anniversary of her death. Marco asks if Craig is ok, Snake says that he is but he assumes that he won’t be back for the rest of the school year. Ashley tells everyone that she’s collecting money to send flowers to him. (Like he would want that.) All of a sudden Craig walks in all cheerful like his dad didn’t get dismembered in a car wreck and you can tell that everyone is thinking, what the fuck?

Craig

We see a bunch of students in the gym decorating for the dance, shouldn’t they be in class instead? Paige being very fucking annoying just walks across the banner they’re painting, leaving her hoof prints all over the place. Being actually decent she gives Ashley some money for the flower fund. Ashley starts to confide in Terri, shit I forgot all about Terri. I don’t think I’ve seen her for a couple of episodes already. Anyways, Terri tells her that she can’t do anything for Craig at the moment. She would know because her mom is a festering corpse too.

Paige

Ashley of course doesn’t listen to Terri because what does Terri know compared to Ashley? Craig once again is acting weird about the whole situation and says that he can’t wait to go to the dance. Ashley is shocked that he doesn’t want to stay home at Joey’s sulking and writing horrible emo songs like she would be doing.

We go to our B plot and it involves Paige and Spinner’s insane quest to become luau king and queen. Hazel get’s a bit annoyed when Paige just assumes that they’re going to win the title.

In class Marco and Jimmy can’t help gawking at Craig and they point out how well he’s taking the demise of his dad. Jimmy says that he wouldn’t be that cool. Craig comes from Mrs Hot Body and shows them that he got an A+. Craig then proceeds to lie his ass off and tells the guys that he was with his dad when he crashed and then laughs and says, “Guys I was at Joey’s getting stitched up because my dad beat me up. For the last time. Haha!” They both just say, “Good one.”

Marco, Jimmy

After class Jimmy starts to talk shit to Spinner and tells him to get to work at the cafeteria and he just has to mention how Spinner stole his iPod, I mean MP3 Player. Spinner’s had enough and he tells Jimmy to fuck off and he won’t be laughing when he and Paige take the crowns at the stupid dance. Jimmy, infuriated decides fuck that and asks Hazel of all people to run against them.

In the next scene Joey takes Craig back to his dad’s house to collect his belongings. Already you can tell that Joey is looking at stuff that he can sell because he’s always low on cash. Craig meanwhile is starting to hear his dad’s voice, so yeah, he’s starting to lose it.

Craig, Joey

It’s finally time for the funeral and this co worker of his dad comes up to say a few words about him. He starts to talk about how much of a good father he was and Craig says all loud, “Please!” Joey and Caitlin both look at him with shocked expressions. Ok, you know how hot I think Caitlin is and love any appearance that she does. But why is she there at the funeral? I doubt she knew his dad or Craig for that matter. Anyways, Craig starts to laugh like a maniac and Joey has to take him outside so he can calm his ass down. Craig starts to tell Joey that he hated his dad and he’s glad that he’s dead because he was an abusive asshole.

Caitlin, Craig, Joey

The next day Ashley is telling Ellie all about the spectacle that Craig made at his dad’s funeral. All of a sudden Craig comes along and tells her that he’s entered them for the luau king and queen contest. Ashley of course is her old dour self and hates the idea. But he probably figures that they have the sympathy vote.

Ashley

Being that they’re super white, Paige and Spinner go to a tanning place and Spinner shows that he’s afraid of UV light. He closes the lid and starts crying like a bitch. He tells Paige that he can’t do it and he wants to go home. Paige being a bitch of course doesn’t give a shit and makes him wait until she has her all over tan.

Paige, Spinner

Oh lord, at Joey’s Craig tells him that he’s borrowing one of his loud obnoxious Hawaiian shirts for the dance. Leave it to him to still have that. Joey wants to talk about the whole Children’s Aid thing but Craig is still acting like a mad man. Joey tells him that he’s afraid that the pain of losing his dad is going to catch up to him. But of course Craig just blows him off by saying, “You, me. Anyone can go next. That’s why tonight, WE DANCE!!”

It’s finally time for the big dance and people are voting via computer. Leave it to Toby to be in charge of the whole operation. It was the only way he could get into the dance since no one likes him. Spinner and Paige come along and they look exactly like Donald Trump with horrible tans. Snake puts on this jam and all the Degrassi kids start to dance their little asses off. Right away Ashley annoys me because everything including her lei and dress are black.

Snake dressed like someone from the Australian outback comes up and announces the king and queen and predictably Craig and Ashley win. Just as he’s celebrating he starts to hallucinate that his dad is there at the dance cheering him on. But it’s just a teacher that looks just like him. At that Craig is starting to lose it mentally and goes outside upset. Ashley comes along and makes things worse by saying that she knew it was a mistake for him to come to the dance. Taking it out on her, he starts to go off on her and how annoying her look is. He then becomes completely possessed by his dad’s now demonic spirit and starts to go ape shit and rips apart the banner that the Degrassi kids worked so hard on and runs away. Needless to say, he scared the bejesus out of Ashley.

Ashley, Craig

Mr Raditch tells everyone to just let him cool off but Terri takes that as an opportunity to relate to him because both of their mother’s are dead. She goes on to say that when she found out that her mom died she was at Chucky Cheese for a birthday party and she got upset because she couldn’t finish her personal deep dish pizza due to her mom having died and ruining everything. Craig says that he hated the motherfucker and can’t figure out why he’s crying about him for. Terri stating the obvious says, “Because you love him.”

Terri, Craig

Spinner and Jimmy seem to have made up and they bond because the four of them look like complete tools. Adding insult to injury, Ellie comes by to take their picture while she’s calling them losers. No wonder Ellie doesn’t have any friends. Craig comes back in and tells Ashley that he’s going to go back to Joey’s pigsty but he wants his dance with Ashley first. The episode ends with Ashley asking Craig how he’s feeling and he says better. Man, that Terri sure knows how to calm someone down.

Jimmy, Hazel, Paige, Spinner, Ellie Craig, End Credits

Well that does it for season 2 of Degrassi. I would say that most episodes were either a hit or miss. This one being one of the better ones. Hopefully next season we’ll see some less of Toby and JT’s bullshit, but we all know that’s not going to happen. Stay tuned for Season 3 peeps.


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Season 2, Episode 11, “Don’t Believe The Hype”

Now I don’t remember watching this one when The N was airing the show. Maybe it was too controversial because it has to do with hate crimes against Muslims, plus 9/11 had barely happened 2 years before I think. So maybe they thought it was too much to take for American audiences. Way to puss out The N!

Pre-credit opener: Hazel and Terri are at their lockers discussing what dish they should bring for international day. Terri thinks she should bring some Haggis. Hazel clearly disgusted points out that it’s just full of sheep guts. Paige comes along and gives Hazel a ticket for being a fashion victim. Just then this girl named Fareeza comes along and we can tell right away that she’s a Muslim because of the head scarf she has on. Terri wonders out loud, “Do you think they’re bald under there?” Ashley get’s all offended and points out to Terri what a shitty thing that was to say. But oh it’s get’s worse. Hazel stops her and says that she’s under arrest for “terrorist chic.” Fareeza all pissed off rolls it up to a ball and throws it away. Not only is she a terrorist, she’s a litter bug! I’m just kidding with that, so don’t be sending me angry comments. But even Paige being a major bitch is shocked at what Hazel just did. Yup, it’s going to be a special episode of Degrassi. Even though most of them are, or at least the writers think they are.

Fareeza Hazel

In the MI room Snake comes along and takes away Spinner and Jimmy’s hacky sack away from them. Why? Because he’s a dick still. He reminds everyone about how it’s going to be international day and Spinner tells him that he doesn’t have a culture. Snake says that it’s bullshit and that everyone has something ethnic about them. It’s obvious that Hazel has a real issue with International day and doesn’t want to participate. Paige wonders why she hasn’t even bothered starting yet, let alone being invited to her house.

Oh lord we come to the B plot and I knew it was going to involve Toby or JT. Luckily for all of us we get stuck with JT in this episode. Liberty comes along and she fucking sucks at sewing things together. JT meanwhile seems to be a professional seamstress. No way did he do that, it looks store bought. Toby and Sean come in the class and Sean complains about how much the class sucks because it’s for girls. Then why did you sign up for it then, cause I’m assuming it’s an elective. Anyways Liberty points out how good JT’s project is and Sean calls him “Gay T.” I admit, I laughed my ass off at that. Good one Sean. We then get the old sitcom device of a misunderstanding. JT takes Liberty’s project and calls it his own. The teacher now thinks that Liberty is a seamstress genius.

JT

In the hallway Spinner is telling Drake how he asked his mom where his family came from and she pointed to a globe and said he was from Earth. I can totally relate to that. My dad would be just as helpful about his family line because he doesn’t give a shit. Glad I never had to do such a project in school because I’d be so boned. Paige is telling Hazel all about her Ukrainian outfit that she has planned but Hazel is dead set about international day. It doesn’t take a genius to already know that she’s ashamed of where she’s from. It’s hilarious how Paige just assumes that Hazel is from Jamaica. To make the point we get this lame Jamaican music cue as the scene changes.

Outside Liberty is begging JT for some help because she has to make a skirt now. JT says that he doesn’t care about her problem and neither do I. Of course she black mails him and now he’s stuck having to do her project.

Ok, stop it Degrassi, we get another Jamaican cue and Hazel is going to a Jamaican restaurant to get some jerk chicken to show her class the real Jamaica. As the guy is giving her the chicken for her project he points out to her that she’s not Jamaican. This guy is way too fucking nice. He gives her a discount on a large order of chicken and gives her a poster of Jamaica.

Hazel, Old Man

Finally it’s International day and Spinner is dressed like a cowboy for some reason. He gives Snake a pizza with Polish, Italian and Russian sausage. Snake wants to immediately throw up though because dumbass barely cooked it. So it’s safe to assume that Snake is now dying of Salmonella poisoning. Mr Raditch meanwhile is fighting against getting a boner and trying not to look at Paige’s body because of her slutty version of her Ukrainian costume. Hazel get’s some high marks for her chicken and Snake points out that it’s just as good as the Jamaican place he lives near by. Yeah, of course he just happens to live near the place.

Snake, Spinner, Drake Mr Raditch, Paige

It’s lunch time and Fareeza decides to confront Hazel. The way she looks and talks, I thought it was Lani Billard who played Busy in Ready or Not. But Busy is around my age and she would have been too old for this already. Anyways, Fareeza points out to Hazel how her last name sounds like it’s more from Somalia, she even points out how she even looks Somalian. Hazel tells her to fuck off and to mind her own goddamn business before Jamaica nukes Iraq. Oh God, JT and Liberty are working on the project and JT is showing her his magic. He goes on to say that his mom is a seamstress and that’s where he got his mad skills. I’m convinced that he is gay now.

Hazel, Fareeza

As the students are walking in to the gym again they’re all in shock to see that someone defaced Fareeza’s project on Iraq. Even writing Terrorist across her damn board. Did 9/11 really create this kind of hatred in Canada too? How interesting.

Terrorist

Back in the MI class Fareeza is in tears talking to the police and Mr Raditch. Snake is outraged at this heinous act and says that a hate crime was committed. He says that for now International day and all classes are on hold. Me being an asshole I would be all too happy to hear this news. Terri blurts out that none of them did it and that none of them are like that. That’s when Ashley decides to be a shit head and calls her out on what she said about Muslims earlier. Fuck off Ashley. I hate shit starters like her. Spinner goes on to point out how people are scared and what does she expect. Jimmy tells everyone about a neighbor who has had his bank account frozen a few times because his name just happens to be Osama. Ah the times when people were really paranoid of Muslims and terrorist attacks. Actually that shit has gotten worse, especially here.

Ashley

Here we get a montage of different class rooms talking about what happened. Toby just says, “Come on Sean, it’s hate!” I rolled my eyes so hard I now need surgery. Then he goes on to mention the Holocaust and if he was around at the time he and Gilbert Gottfried would have been the first one’s thrown into an oven. Kendra goes on to point out that she’s Asian and her family are white people. So she’s proof that different races can get along. Spinner saying what people really think says that he doesn’t want to be blown out of the sky from some terrorist. Ashley just can’t help being all judgmental towards everyone who disagrees with her. Can you all sense that Degrassi wanted to start a dialog with kids back in the day? It’s so damn preachy though.

Toby

Uh oh, Hazel seems to be in deep shit because Raditch has now called her up to his office. Turns out that Hazel is the prime suspect because of how shitty she treated Fareeza the whole episode. Hazel goes on to say that she can’t stand Fareeza because she’s a shit head. But that she would never do something like that to her display. Raditch get’s a call and then tells them that they caught who did it. Turns out it was two guys in grade 10. If I was Hazel I would demand a fucking apology from Raditch for being quick to lay blame. Instead he lectures her some more and tells her that her harassment was still a fucked up thing to do. So Hazel still loses in this.

In the Home Ec class Liberty admits to everyone that JT is the real genius and everyone is surprised to learn that JT isn’t completely retarded. Of course Sean and Toby make fun of him until JT get’s surrounded by all the Degrassi women who want to pay him to make them custom pants. He’s charging up the ass for them, so it seems like JT has the last laugh here. Especially since that little horn dog get’s to measure their bodies.

JT, Manny, Emma

So here we come to the heart to heart scene of the episode. It turns out that Fareeza was completely spot on about everything Hazel. Turns out that she is a skinny and at her last school Hazel was hella harassed for being a Muslim and her head scarf. Fareeza not even having one trace of compassion for her doesn’t give a shit about what happened or for her tears.

Hazel, Crying

In Snake’s class Hazel gives everyone a presentation and admits that she’s from Somalia and they came to Canada because of the civil war there. Terri not even waiting for her to finish talking interrupts and asks her why she doesn’t wear the head scarf thing. Hazel says what it is and that it’s a choice if she wants to wear it or not. Funny, I always assumed that it wasn’t a choice. But Degrassi says so, so it must be true. The episode ends with Hazel telling everyone like in X-Men First class, “Muslim and proud.”

Hazel, End Credits

For this being Hazel’s one and only episode, I think it was a good one. We finally got to see what makes a minor character tick. But this episode was so goddamn preachy too. The lesson is kids, be tolerant. Funny how it was never mentioned again that she was a Muslim. Degrassi sure ran away from that issue real fast.


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Season 2, Episode 8, “Shout Part 2”

So yeah, I deliberately put this one off because I just hate this two parter so much. It’s probably because I dislike both Paige and Dean. Even though Paige is the victim in this episode.

Pre-credit opener: I’m surprised we didn’t get a recap of the last episode. Right away I can tell that Paige is dreaming just by going by the strange way the scene in the Degrassi girls restroom is being lit. As if to remind us how old as fuck Dean really is, he pops out of a stall and we can see that he has a tattoo on his forearm. With a smug look on his face, he says, “Hey Spirit.” Paige immediately starts to freak out and tells him that he raped her. Dream Dean starts to tell her that she wanted it and forces himself on her again. Mercifully Paige is woken up from her dream by her alarm clock.

Paige, Dean

At Degrassi Terri sporting some corn rolls tells Paige all about a female empowerment band competition, or something like that. Terri is way into getting into the competition, but Paige points out to her that their band PMS broke up. That didn’t last long at all. Probably because Ashley was ostracized by that shithead Paige. Paige being Paige now wants to do it because they can win a trip to LA and play in front of some record executives.

In Snake’s class Terri mentions to Paige that they need Ashley to sing but Paige still being filled with hatred tells her fuck no. Oh lord, she turns Hazel around and tells Terri that she’s their new lead singer. But she instantly regrets that decision because Hazel can’t sing worth a shit. She’s so God awful. Even Ashley looks like she wants to laugh her ass off in the back ground.

Paige, Hazel,

In Mrs Kwan’s English class Terri is giving a nervous speech about her ode to foode. Ashley then comes up and just like Claude from Degrassi High depresses everyone, because her’s is about the fucked up subject of rape. Where would she even think about doing that. It’s like, “Oh I have an afternoon free, let me write about rape.” As I typed that I saw my own reflection on the monitor and realized that I’m an asshole writing about rape on his free time too. Oh the irony. Moving on, Paige of course is taking it to heart because unlike Ashley, she is a victim of it.

Ashley, Paige, Hazel

Back to the MI lab and Sean is giving a report about the inventor of motorcycles. Isn’t this a computer class? Why are they giving speeches about people they admire? It’s like the teachers at that school just do whatever. And speaking of whatever, Liberty comes up and her subject is JT. She dresses up like him and completely humiliates him by having all sorts of embarrassing pictures of him. Including pictures of him looking extremely gay and looking even more gayer being outside shirtless with some floaties. Turns out that Milhouse is the one who gave her his photo album. But what kid at that age keeps photos of himself?

JT, Liberty

At the lockers JT comes up to all of his friends laughing their asses off at him and he tells them that it wasn’t that funny. But they beg to differ. Liberty points out that her imitation of him was a tribute. So going by that he starts to act like her and points out how she acts like a nerdy two shoes and how she really doesn’t have any friends and no one likes her. She leaves all pissed off sort of like she wants to cry and now everyone is pissed off at him. I hate it when people can dish it out, but they can’t take it. Stand your ground JT, she deserved it.

In the Degrassi music room Hazel is still singing like complete shit and Paige can’t take it any more. Terri comes in wearing the same outfit from the previous season and says that she did it to get into the mood. Paige tells her that it’s so last year and she’s way out of touch with trends. Terri tells her, “Bitch, why do you have to be so mean?” But of course being a heinous bitch she says, “I’m not mean, I’m right.” If I were Terri I would have said, “I quit.” Seriously who needs that abuse. Anyways, Paige tells her that they’re going to go by a new wardrobe and Terri, surprisingly  stands up for herself and tells her no. Then says, “Paige doesn’t understand that word, never has.” HAHA! That sure got her. Paige get’s super pissed and tells her to cut her shit out. They start to rehearse and yeah, they fucking suck donkey balls, mostly because of Hazel.

Terri, Hazel, Paige

Paige leaves the room all disgusted at the both of them and she decides to pay Ashley a visit at her house. Outside we can hear Ashley singing stupid emo songs that she wrote herself on her mom’s piano. Paige knocks on the door and Ashley all surly tells her, “What are you doing here?” As the scene is going on Ashley is pointing out to her that she has real nerve asking her for her help after what she did to her. Paige starts to kiss major ass and tells her how great her dark poem was and that it spoke to her. Ashley being right tells her that it’ll just end up like last year with Paige ruining everything. After much groveling Ashley agrees to join PMS again because she’s a glutton for punishment.

Ashley

At the Degrassi recording studios Ashley is back practicing on her keyboard and she gives all the girls new lyrics. She goes on to tell them that it’s about rape. Yeah out of all subjects fucking Ashley decides to go with this one. All happy about it, she tells the girls the stats on how many teenage girls get raped by the time they get to college. Predictably Paige goes ape shit and tells her to change the lyrics to the song and a whole big argument begins between the two of them. Paige then demands that they do the other lyrics instead. Again, I don’t know why Ashley doesn’t tell her to go fuck herself and quit the band.

We go back to the B plot and JT starts to make fun of Liberty and her lameness again. He points out the same thing I said that she can dish it out, but can’t take it. At that she starts to go off on him and calls him, “JT Dork.”  and some other shit about him not knowing her. He says that he does and that she’s a big bore of a person and she does nothing fun. She grabs a marker out of his hand and does a Satanic looking symbol on some lockers and tells him, “Fun enough for you!” Stupid JT then starts to try and rub it off, but since it’s a permanent, it’s not going anywhere.

JT

In the MI lab Ashley confronts Paige about the lyrics and they have another argument again. Ashley tells her that she’s acting just like she was last year and demands to know what her problem is with her fucked up lyrics. Paige shouts to her that singing a song about rape isn’t going to win them the contest. You know, I have to agree with her on that. She goes on to say that Ashley doesn’t know jack shit about it and her reading about it doesn’t mean that she does. Ashley tells her that she’s allowed to imagine and Paige shouts, “No you’re not!” And then stops because the whole class including Snake are just staring at the two of them. All calmly she tells Ashley to bring the old lyrics.

Media Immersion Class

Back with JT and Liberty, JT asks her how could she do that and she wrote “graffiti” on his locker. She starts to act like an asshole and that’s when Mr Raditch interrupts them and he’s seriously pissed off. He tells him what he was thinking and that people saw him do it. JT denies it but dumbass has all the red ink all over his hands because he tried to rub it off. Liberty is all smiles because Raditch took him to his office for a caning and a call home to his mom. In Mrs Kwan’s class Milhouse asks her if she’s seen JT and she tells him what happened. Milhouse get’s all depressed and tells Liberty that if JT got in trouble again his mom was going to send his ass to Oats Military Academy.

PMS is rehearsing again but that’s when Hazel walks in and tells them with a sign that she can’t sing. Paige makes a sarcastic remark at that and Hazel flips her off and says that she can’t sing due to Polyps. Ashley get’s all excited over Hazel’s misfortunes, which pretty much makes her look like an awful person. She starts to sing her rape song again and fuck! Paige for about the 6th time in this episode get’s all pissed off and tells her that they’re not going to use those lyrics.

They go outside and they start to go at it. Paige finally starts to cry and Ashley can finally see that Paige was actually raped. So the flood gates are now opened and Paige tells her what happened. Ashley asks her if she’s been to a dr and Paige tells her that he used a condom. She doesn’t even want to see a counselor about it. Later on all this inaction about Dean is going to bite Paige in the ass. But that’s a few seasons from now.

Ashley, Paige

Back to JT, it seems like Mr Raditch has given him a jar of piss and a tooth brush to clean the mess that Liberty made. And speak of the devil. She comes along and admits to him that she was the one who defaced school property.

Mr Raditch, Liberty, JT

Finally it’s time for the big battle of the Female bands and it seems like it’s at a shopping mall. Way to be cheap Degrassi producers. They come out and Paige is stricken stiff with terror because she spots Dean out in the crowd looking more smug than ever. But she actually starts to get pissed off and she starts to sing Ashley’s lyrics about being raped. Dean leaves all scared thanks to the power of Rock and Roll and those lyrics.

Paige Dean

We come to JT and Liberty and it seems like she’s on garbage detail and she tells JT all about Mr Raditch telling her parents what she did. And yeah, who cares. This is another B plot that always ground this episode to a halt.

In the hallway it’s clear by what they’re saying that they lost the battle of the bands. Ellie comes along and tells them that they were robbed. She goes on to tell Paige that she was awesome. As they all leave Paige is going to walk into her guidance counselor’s office and she’s ready to talk. But she’s talking to the wrong person. Going by experience, my guidance counselor was completely useless.

Paige, Ellie, Ashley Paige, End Credits

So there you have it peeps. The rape two parter. It was ok. No you know what? I hate this two part episode. Why lie about it. It pisses me off that nothing really happened to Dean. You would have thought that an alpha bitch like Paige would do everything in her power to completely destroy that piece of shit. But no, it’s left all opened ended. But what do we expect from Degrassi. God forbid we ever get any closure to story lines.