Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 4, Episode 8, “Time Stands Still Part 2”

Previously on Degrassi, Joey is revealed to not only be losing his home, but his business is also failing big time because he’s a broke dick loser. The only good thing is that Caitlin has returned from her triumphant Aids world tour. But seriously who cares about him and his problems. Rick is the star of this two parter and his bullying has now reached a boiling point as Spinner, Jay and Alex dumped a bunch of paint over him and then they feathered him in front of a city wide TV audience. We finished the previous episode with him looking at his father’s hand gun. And now the shocking conclusion to this two parter.

Pre-Credit Opener: This episode finds us with Rick still staring at the 45 in his dad’s study. We cut to the school where Emma and Toby are talking about what happened. He says that they can just edit Rick being humiliated out of the show but Emma doesn’t think they can. JT meanwhile is laughing his ass off over the incident because everyone there hates Rick. Toby being a little toad just says that he wouldn’t think it was so funny if it had happened to him. Johnny Mathis being an asshole said he would laugh still. He then spots Rick and he’s come back to school still in his dad’s suit covered in paint and feathers. But he’s walking around like a zombie holding his back pack tight to his chest. You know he has it bad when even the extras hanging out in front of the school are making fun of him. Toby says that someone should talk to him, but Emma doesn’t want anything to do with him because she told him in the previous episode that she just pitied him and isn’t remotely interested in him romantically. Toby tries to talk to him saying that Raditch is beyond pissed off and that he’s going to punish who did it. Rick full of despair just says that they’ll only get a detention. Toby tells him that people will understand if he takes the rest of the day off, but Rick all ominous simply says that that’s one day that he actually wants to be there at school. The statement is accentuated by the tension in the music.

In the next scene we see Raditch berating the entire school over what just happened. In class Alex and Jay are trying their hardest not to bust out laughing. In Mrs Kwan’s class JT is still making fun of Toby’s loser friend Rick and says that he hopes that he’s finally gotten the hint and leaves the school. Man, it’s so obvious that JT is much cooler than Toby when he says that he’ll have to find a new gamer geek friend to look at porn together.

At the basketball court Spinner is laughing at how they got Rick back because he has a total lack of empathy. Jimmy sounding annoyed tells him to cut the guy some slack because he’s actually alright. But Spinner is still having delight over how Rick was embarrassed in front of the entire school. Jimmy asks what kind of person does that kind of shit and Spinner being an idiot admits that it was him and then starts to threaten Jimmy, but he can’t finish his thought because Jimmy get’s into his face and asks him what he’s going to do about it. Spinner intimidated starts to back away and Jimmy tells him to save the bully crap for someone who won’t fight back. To accentuate his point he shoves the ball into Spinner’s gut, taking the wind out of it. Spinner then hits him with the ball right in the face and that’s when Jimmy man handles him and shoves him against the fence. The fight is short lived because Coach Armstrong comes along and breaks it up. I swear, this show always has a fight that lasts about five seconds or less.

Oh God, we go back to Joey’s and Caitlin is asking him why he’s selling his house. Joey tells her, “I’m broke bitch!” He goes on to explain that it’s either his house or the dealership that goes, but that makes zero sense because the dealership is also folding because he just sells cheap used cars to clueless foreigners.

Mercifully we go back to Degrassi where everyone in the cafeteria is dying from laughter at the sight of Rick just standing there looking like a lunatic. Paige comes up to him and surprises everyone by actually not being her usual cunty self and tells him that she’s sorry about what happened to him and the people who did it suck ass. Her being decent seems to have saved her life because it’s obvious that Rick was there to fucking kill her, but he seems to have had a change of heart and tells her that he’s sorry for what he did to Terri. Finally he goes to his locker and puts the backpack in there and his father’s paint covered coat.

Next we have an awkward scene between Caitlin and Sidney. Caitlin tells her that she just got back that morning and she saw Joey’s house for sale with her name on the sign. Sidney tells her to cool her tits and she’s just doing it as a favor to Joey. Caitlin then asks her how much she wants for the joint and Sidney says, about $400,000. Caitlin knowing that the place isn’t worth that much offers $350.000. That or she’s just a bitch and wants to stick it to Sidney. Sidney tells her no way and Caitlin being cheap offers $375.000. Sidney’s all, “You’ve got yourself a goddamn deal!” and they shake on it.

Rick is in the rest room where he’s washed all that shit off of his face, you can tell that he’s still dealing with trying to get over that humiliating experience. But he can’t dwell on it because he hears some people coming and he goes and hides in the stall. Turns out it’s Spinner and Jay talking about whether Raditch knows or not. Right away Jay see’s that Rick is in there due to all the paint and feathers all over the floor. Knowing that he’s in there Jay starts to say that Jimmy was involved and set everything up perfectly. Spinner then says that it was great how he got him to be in the final round for his plan to work out. They walk out with Jay saying it was great having a man on the inside. Rick comes out of the stall fuming because to him Jimmy did the ultimate betrayal.

So oh shit. The tension filled music is back and so is his backpack against his chest. Rick walks up to Jimmy at his locker where Jimmy asks him how he is. He goes on to say how sorry he is about everything and that if Spinner and Jay give him more grief, he’s got his back. Rick not able to control his anger anymore says, “Like you stabbed me in the back.” Jimmy doesn’t know what he’s talking about and says, “Say what?” As he’s saying that he defended him, Rick pulls out his dad’s piece and points it at his chest saying that he only pretended to be his friend. Jimmy starts to back up a bit and it’s obvious that Rick is about to dispense his own brand of justice because he says like a psycho, “You made me do this.” Jimmy starts to run away but he doesn’t get far. Rick somehow managed to hit him in his back even though he had his eyes closed the whole time.

Degrassi trying to be dramatic as hell has cut all sound as everyone around there runs for their motherfucking lives. Craig rounds the corner and finds Jimmy’s limp body just lying there. It sounds like Craig wants to cry, whispering Jimmy’s name in disbelief

In another hallway kids are still running away from Rick’s deranged ass. Sean, Emma and Toby though act like people who have no logic and go to investigate what that loud bang was instead of running in the opposite direction like everyone else. They go around the corner and there’s Rick still holding on to his dad’s 45. It’s pretty damn clear that he’s now gone completely insane and he tells Emma that he’s sorry that he kissed her. Sean stating the obvious says that he has a gun and they should go. Rick in a rage yells at them to not turn away from him. That sure stopped them in their tracks. He continues to talk like a fucking nutcase and says that he’s glad that he found Emma because she made his list. Toby tries to talk to him but Rick just ignores him like everyone else. He starts to go off about his delusions again saying that Emma was shamelessly flirting with him and that he thought that she liked him. Sean now trying to reason with him tells him to put the gun down and that he knows what it’s like to be in his position since he hit a kid so goddamn hard he made him go deaf. He goes on to say that it can be so much worse, and pleads with him again to put the gun down. It looks like he’s getting through to him, but Rick has now gone to eleven and says that it’s too late because he already shot someone. As he says that he points the gun at Emma who’s now crying from fear. She doesn’t become his next victim though because Sean grabs the gun and they have a fight for it. All of a sudden the gun goes off and both Rick and Sean make shocked faces and fall to the ground.

In the next scene all of the cops are there at Degrassi sealing the school off from the outside world. Ashley’s mom comes running up to a Mountie and tells him that she got a call from them about Toby. For some reason they let her in and as she’s about to go up the steps she see’s Jimmy being wheeled out on a stretcher.

I love how the writers of the show are tormenting us by going back to Joey in the next scene. I remembered when this episode first aired I said to myself, who gives a shit about Joey’s B plot. He comes up to her and he’s all happy that he got a buyer for the house. But he’s just pretending, he knows that it was Caitlin that bought the house and he’s all pissed off because she just made him feel like an even bigger bald loser. He should be grateful that he has a woman that would do that for him. Thankfully they get a call about the shooting at Degrassi and off they go.

Back at Degrassi it seems like the Mounties have deployed their anti terrorist task force. We see all sorts of cops in body armor and sub machine guns. Right away we see that Sean is fine except for a minor wound on his arm. Hey look who it is! It’s Sam, Busy’s dad from Ready or Not as the lead detective. He starts to ask Toby why his friend would do such a thing and if he was teased. Toby all full of tears tells him that Rick was tormented everyday. Detective Sam then asks him if he noticed any warning signs about his friend. Acting like a little bitch he starts to cry and says that Rick wasn’t his friend and he was a psycho. Sean just seems to be in shock answering the other detective’s questions. That’s a real man there!

In what I’m guessing is the MI lab Snake is telling Emma that Rick needed help. Yeah, thank you captain fucking obvious. Emma traumatized tells Spike that he pointed the gun right at her. Raditch comes in and asks Snake if he can get into Rick’s emails, as they’re trying to look for any warning signs. Snake not being remotely professional starts to point fingers and blames Raditch for not listening to Rick and not getting him any help. Raditch tells him to shove it up his giant self righteous ass because it’s hard to be a principle to about 700 students and staff there. Snake then starts to go off on Raditch some more and that’s where Spike tells Snake to shut the fuck up already because he’s upsetting Emma and we all know that Snake does whatever Spike says because he’s pussy whipped. You know, Snake truly is a perfect asshole. He’s projecting his own guilt onto Raditch because if it wasn’t for him putting Jimmy on the same team as Rick for the quiz show, none of that would have happened.

Outside the school Caitlin and Joey can’t get in due to it being locked down still. Caitlin trying to act like a big shot says that she’s from the local TV station and the Mountie says that there was some gun shots fired inside, but that’s all he’s willing to say. Joey tries to get in because Craig is in there, but he’s easily pushed back by the cop on duty.

Inside one of the class rooms Paige is going crazy not knowing what’s going on. They start to go over theories and that’s when Paige tells them that she got a text from her mom about a shooting there. Hazel get’s immediately concerned because she see’s that Jimmy isn’t in class. We hear a knock and that’s when the Asian counselor comes in looking for Hazel. Out in the hall she tells her that Jimmy was shot and he’s being taken to the hospital. Hazel starts to cry saying that she needs to go, but she can’t because of the lock down. This scene didn’t seem realistic to me. Would a counselor really go to a girlfriend or boyfriend to tell them what happened? I mean, would that be a priority, I don’t think so. The only people that would be notified would have been his parents.

Finally the lock down is over and Raditch on the PA is telling everyone that they are to go straight home and not to talk to any reporters. But you know that sure as hell isn’t going to happen. They’re all going to stay and gawk. I know I would. Jay and Alex come out and he tells her to relax because she’s saying that she knew she shouldn’t have done what she did. You can tell that she feels guilty as hell over what happened. They run into Spinner and Jay thought that it was him who was blasted by Rick. Spinner in shock tells them that it was Jimmy. In his guilt and fear he says that he has to tell them what they did, but Jay being a scumbag tells him no because they’d all get into real deep shit. Spinner says that he’s his best friend. Jay having no tact says, ” Either outcome, I would say he was your best friend.” Ouch! But it’s true.

Craig comes out and tells Joey and Caitlin that it was Jimmy who was shot. Just then a pushy reporter comes along asking Craig if he knew the victim. He get’s offended by her wording and says that he has a name. Caitlin get’s all pissed off and pushes her away. Again sounding full of herself she says to her, “Here’s your headline, local insensitive reporter, pummeled by famous colleague.” Please she’s just famous around town and that’s the extent of it.

The same reporter starts to ask Toby about what happened and asks if he tried to stop him. Toby has another spaz attack and asks full of tears what he was supposed to do. If she knew the story she would have said that he could have acted like a man instead of cowering behind his human shield Emma. But lets face it, Toby is useless in any situation and wouldn’t have been much help anyways. It’s here where it’s revealed by the reporter that Rick died, Toby all meekly says, “He died?” The report later on that day probably identified Toby as Degrassi’s top dweeb who knew the gunman. It should have been you who died Toby, it should have been you.

At the hospital Paige is comforting Hazel as Jimmy is in the ICU. Spinner comes by but Paige shakes her head at him pretty much saying no. Spinner just leaves crying because he knows what he did.

Seems like everyone is at Spike’s house watching the news. Spike starts to go on about how no one is supposed to be shot at Degrassi. Emma get’s annoyed with her and says that she talks about the school like it’s some sort of sacred place. I’m seriously surprised that Snake isn’t all traumatized again because when Claude killed himself in Degrassi High, it was him who found his headless, festering corpse and it fucked him up royally. He goes on to say that no one there took Rick’s bullying seriously. Ashley starts to go off on Rick, totally assassinating his character and for about the third time Toby acts like a giant pussy and leaves crying. Ashley goes on to say that she wants answers and wants to know what Rick was if he wasn’t a monster. Emma simply says that he was Toby’s friend. I love how she conveniently doesn’t mention that he was her friend too.

We then get a montage of various mourners of this episode’s events. People at the school are already starting a shrine dedicated to Jimmy. I bet you anything that half the people there crying over him didn’t even know his ass. That happens all the time unfortunately. I seriously laughed at the picture they used of Jimmy that says, Why?? At the hospital Paige is telling someone that there hasn’t been a change with Jimmy while Hazel is crying her eyes out watching over him. Spinner meanwhile is also crying because he’s a life ruining asshole and the guilt is eating away at him. The episode ends with Toby and Emma crying over what happened.

So got damn! This was a pretty good episode. I would say that it’s the best in the series so far. Pretty authentic except for the whole Hazel being told about Jimmy part. The only minus of course is the whole Joey subplot, but they wrapped up that unimportant bullshit fast. I have to say, I think at this point we all know that Jimmy ends up being paralyzed from being shot. But as I was watching this it was clear that he was hit more to the side of his back. Now either the bullet ricocheted off his ribs or he has that spinal disease where he has a curved one. Either way, I call bullshit, but ok, he’s now paralyzed for life because of it. All that being said, I think Degrassi was trying to spread the message that people can do awful things but they can still turn their lives around and actually change. But this episode threw that shit right out the window with Rick shooting Jimmy and attempting to Murder Emma as well. Sorry if this one was a bit wordy guys, I guess I had a lot of thoughts on it.

 

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Season 4, Episode 7, “Times Stands Still Part 1”

It’s here everyone it’s here. The what’s going down two part episode of Degrassi. Joey is having more mortgage problems and he’s about to lose his house, but seriously, who gives two fucks about that. This is the two part episode where Rick goes right over the edge of the cliff and changes things at Degrassi forever. Well at least until Drake leaves the show.

Pre-Credit Opener: Rick is as happy as can be until Jimmy and Spinner pull up to fuck with him some more. Good God almighty! Spinner has gotten a new haircut and he now looks like a gay douchebag. Jimmy takes his stupid beret off and throws it into the dumpster. They say they’ll help him to look for it, but they just throw his ass in there instead. Rick meanwhile is breathing real hard because he’s angry as hell and it’s only going to get worse from here.

I’m guessing it’s either later on in the day or the next, but Rick spots Spinner’s car and decides to spray paint a giant X on it in retaliation for being picked on. In the hallway he runs into Jimmy and some harsh words are said. Right as Jimmy is about to hit him Snake comes along and asks him some sports questions, probably because he’s black and just assumes that he knows all about sports. His assumption is correct and he tells Rick that Jimmy is his newest team member for the quiz show because Heather St Claire had to pull out due to having a herpes outbreak. Let’s just say Rick isn’t happy to have one of his tormentors on his team.

We cut to Joey and his realtor who looks like Lulu Hogg from The Dukes of Hazard is telling him that he has to clean up his pigsty of a place because he’ll be having an open house. Craig comes down the stairs scratching his balls and Joey asks him what he’s doing there still. He says that he feels sick so there he is. Joey leaves him and the realtor because he has to go back to his failing dealership.

In the hallway Emma comes up to Rick and Toby and says that she made some flashcards for the quiz show. Rick says that he’s quitting because Jimmy is now on the team. Toby being the typical weasel tells him to go cry to Snake about it and he might change his mind. Emma goes on to say that Jimmy and the rest hate his guts because they don’t know him and that he came back to Degrassi because he wants to prove that he’s changed. She goes on to say that he should work with Jimmy on the team and in time he’ll get to know him. To prove his point, it says on his locker to go home and no one wants him there. Emma being a big shot rips the sign up and you can tell that Rick is starting to fall in love with her because that’s what guys like him do. They become infatuated at the first sign of kindness. Kind of like a dog if you will.

The next scene has Rick going to Raditch to complain about Jimmy being on the team and the fact that he picks on him alot. Raditch though doesn’t want to hear it and pretty much blows him off, telling him that he also has to work to make people like him. So yeah, this conversation is going to come back to bite Raditch right in the ass.

Out in the parking lot it seems that both Jay and Spinner got X’s on their cars. Alex correctly assumes that it was Rick who did it. Sean says that they should get it off right away before there’s permanent damage. Spinner acting like a bitch says that he’s going to tell Raditch. Sean mocks him of course because he wants to go and snitch on Rick. He goes on to point out that he’s going to want to know why Rick tagged him to begin with. Jay agrees with Sean and says that they need to keep Raditch out of it. Spinner vows that Rick is going to pay for what he did. Again, the machismo is strong in Spinner.

In the hallway they spot Toby having a drink at the fountain and that’s when Jay smashes his face against it. They want to know where Rick is but Toby surprisingly isn’t telling. In the gym Jimmy asks Toby who did it. Rick sounding bitter as hell asks Jimmy if wished that he had done it instead of Jay and Spinner. Jimmy tells him to back his shit off already. Rick tells him that he’s been suffering for weeks, and that Toby doesn’t deserve that, no one does. But I beg to differ on Toby. Anyways, that’s when you can tell that Jimmy feels bad about picking on the guy.

We switch to Joey where he starts to bitch Craig out about watching TV, but he’s shocked to see that Sidney is there. She tells him that Craig called her at work and let her know just what a giant loser Joey is. She’s probably thinking that she dodged a bullet there. She tells him that he should have told her about what was happening with the house. You can tell that his pride is wounded even though he shouldn’t have any. She get’s all sad and says that she made a mistake coming there and leaves.

In the gym the quiz show team is practicing and Rick is a genius at having useless knowledge. Sad to say, I’m the same exact way. To prove why Jimmy’s there Snake asks a sports question that Jimmy, the only brother there could answer. It’s obvious that Jimmy is starting to bond a little with Rick. Especially when Spinner comes along picking on him some more. Jimmy get’s annoyed and tells him to grow up. Alex all full of attitude says, “Oh look, Ricky found a friend.” Jimmy tells her, “Back off  you trailer park skank, it’s getting boring.” Rick fucks things up by being overconfident and does an X with his arms to Jay and Spinner. Both of them get pissed because he pretty much told them it was him who did it.

At his home Rick is being fitted in an ill fitting suit. Turns out it’s his dad’s, so no wonder. Here we get a glimpse at Rick’s instability. Toby comes by and Rick’s mom mentions to him how Rick’s new friends Jimmy and Emma have become pretty much inseparable from him and they’re the popular kids at school. Toby is shocked to hear that he told that to his mom because Toby knows that the both of them will never be part of the cool group.

Back at Joey’s, it seems like he still hasn’t cleaned the place up yet while Craig is still sick with what looks is the flu. Joey starts to bitch him out about calling Sidney over and asks how badly did he make him sound like the loser that he is. He then mentions that he has to close the dealership because he has to be there to sell the house. Hearing that he’s going to be there all day, Craig would rather be at school spreading his illness around because Joey’s become unbearable lately. Craig tells him that he should still get Sidney to help him because she actually knows what she’s doing and she’d get a good price for the home.

Outside the school Rick says thank you to Emma for actually talking to him and being decent. You can tell that he’s now infatuated with her because he says that when she talks, he listens and she’s his guide. Emma meanwhile doesn’t seem to notice and says that she’s glad that things worked out for him and that he actually made friends.

Inside Rick asks Jimmy if he’s nervous about the quiz show and Jimmy tries to play it cool, but admits that he is. Rick being confidant tells him not to worry about it because they’re going to kick the other school’s ass. Paige comes along and makes fun of his suit, but Rick is so giddy about his delusions of grandeur, he doesn’t give a shit what Paige has to say.

Seems like the show is being broadcast on public access and the game is called Wack Your Brain. Right off the bat Rick answers a question correct and they’re on the board. Funny how everyone in the school is watching the show. You would have thought that it would have been after school, but Degrassi always does things differently. Jimmy get’s to shine with answering a sports question, even though it was about tennis and he should be ashamed of himself for even knowing the right answer. As the game is progressing Degrassi is losing 170 to 180. The host then announces that in case there’s a tie each team will select one player to play the sudden death round. Of course the game is tied and they choose Rick to be their player. Being a fucking creep, he squeezes Emma’s hand and won’t let go of it. Emma seems mighty uncomfortable.

It’s break time and in the restroom Jimmy asks Rick how he has all sorts of useless knowledge. Rick just says that he reads a lot because he has a lot of free time on his hands due to having a lack of friends. Just then Jay and Spinner come along and they say what a good player Rick is. Jimmy leaves saying that they have the game in the bag thanks to him. Just as Rick is leaving Jay and Spinner block his path making him nervous. But Jay says that they’re cool and let him go by. As he heads out they both start talking about a plan to get him back and it involves Alex.

Back at Joey’s, it seems like he talked Sidney into coming back. She asks him if there’s anything that he can say to make her stay. Not having anymore dignity, Joey simply says that he needs help, badly.  She tells him that she can stay there all day telling him how much she hates him, but his family is in trouble and she’s willing to let everything pass. Joey then apologizes over how they finished, but she just ignores him. So what was the point of that?! She starts to talk about having an open house and to maybe have some music playing for atmosphere. She tells him not to play his hit single Everybody Want’s Something, because they actually want to make a sale. I was just thinking, if they’re losing their house, does this mean that they’re going to live in the trailer Joey has at his car lot? But shit, he’s about to lose his business too.

The Quiz show is back on and we see Alex barely sitting down in her seat. It’s obvious she was up to no good. The geek from Northern has scored 40 points. Before going up Rick whispers into Emma’s ear, “This is all for you.” Man Emma is becoming disturbed with his behavior by the minute. Rick of course wins the whole thing by ten points and is basking in the glory of being the hero of the show. But it’s short lived, just as he’s celebrating a bucket of yellow looking paint falls all over him. The insult to injury is that feathers follow. He’s beyond humiliated because everyone there is laughing their fucking asses off at him. Probably in the whole city too. They’re lucky that he doesn’t have any mental powers or else he would have killed everyone there in his rage like in Carrie.

Out in the hallway Emma tries to play do gooder by saying that the people who did it are totally juvenile. In his grief Rick says that they’re life ruiner’s and everyone was laughing at him. Emma being stupid is still trying to cheer him up by saying that no one is ever going to forget that it was him who won the game and that he’s the smartest guy in the whole city. Rick takes it that that means that Emma is in love with him and he tries to force a kiss on her. Emma now freaked out pulls away and yells at him to stop. Rick now completely out of his mind says that he thought that she loved him. Emma makes things about ten times worse by saying that she only felt sorry for him and besides, she has a body now and she can have whoever she wants.

Oh lord we go back to Joey’s and he’s busy cleaning up his house when there’s someone ringing the door bell. Turns out that it’s Caitlin and she’s finally back from her ten month Aids tour around the world. She then wants to know why Sidney’s name is on his lawn because Caitlin is crazy and insecure.

In the next scene we see Rick coming home and he’s calling out to see if his parents are home. You can tell that he’s relieved that they aren’t because that would have just been another humiliation having to explain what happened. In his despair he goes into his dad’s study and takes out a case that has his dad’s 45 in there. The episode ends with Rick just staring at the gun.

So yeah, this was a pretty good episode. Rick is obviously some one who is deeply troubled and probably needs to see a therapist. Especially since it’s clear that he makes up relationships in his head. But it’s too late for that. Things are definitely coming to a head in the next episode. As for the Joey sub plot, who cares. Not even Caitlin coming back was enough to save that stinker. That was probably the only thing wrong with this episode. But stayed tuned for the conclusion in a few days.


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Season 3, Episode 22, “The Power Of Love”

So we finally made it to the season finale peeps. I think it took me over a year to finish season 3. Mostly because I would lose interest in this blog and then I would start up again because I was bored and had nothing better to do.

Pre-Credit Opener: It’s the end of the school year and everyone at Degrassi is cleaning out their lockers so they can get the hell out of there. Jimmy and Hazel come along and Jimmy is going on about going to a basketball camp in LA for the Summer. Hazel points out that he’s spoiled as hell. But he doesn’t want to go because he’ll miss Hazel and those breasts of hers. They run into Paige and Spinner and that’s when Jimmy once again flaunts his wealth by saying that he’s getting a limo for Marco’s Gay Indian dance happening that night and dinner is on him.

Sean walks into Snake’s office and Snake informs him that his grades are in the gutter and that he’s basically going to fail the class. I love how he blames Snake for him failing even though it’s his own fault for being a dumbass. But Snake having mercy tells him that he can pass if he does a project where he’s cataloging gaseous anomalies in the auto shop.

At the Jeremiah household Caitlin comes along knocking on the door like she’s the damn police. They start to have a conversation about her moving into Joey’s dump. I would think it’s a major downgrade for Caitlin because I’m assuming she has a much better place than Joey. You can tell that she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t give him an answer, the pretense being that she’s late for a meeting, but really she just wants to leave Joey’s. But she says they’ll talk later at dinner.

We cut to Jimmy’s and it seems like he’s wearing a female’s Indian clothing. I can’t believe that anyone would go to these length’s to actually dress up for Marco’s dance. I know I wouldn’t. But this is Degrassi and they’re going to shove diversity down our throats whether we want it or not.

They walk outside and a beat up 80’s era prom limo pulls up and holy shit! Look who it is. Billy Ray Cyrus, aka Cyrus! It’s pretty sad that he had to resort to having a small cameo in Degrassi. Jimmy is beyond disappointed, and embarrassed that he got such a piece of shit limo service for him and his friends.

At Caitlin’s TV station. Caitlin is busying customizing his and her’s towels on the computer instead of working. Her gay co-worker comes by and she tells him about Joey asking her to move in with her. He says congratulations, but also says that he wanted to tell her that anyways because the station approved for her to go around the globe covering Aids. Caitlin is ecstatic at first, but then get’s bummed out because of Joey. And Goddamn, she has to leave that night and be gone for about nine months. So after all that waiting, which was a year she said, she tells the guy no because that’s the power of love damn it!

Back at the MI lab Snake is giving Sean a break and he’s passing him with the lowest passing grade ever. Snake then says that he has to go to chaperon Gay Indian dance and Sean says that he’s not going because it’s not his scene. Seriously, it’s not anyone’s scene. Snake then decides to have a heart to heart moment with Sean telling him that he used to come to him with his problems, but that’s it’s ok if he doesn’t want to talk anymore. But he just wants him to know that he’ll always be there for him. Sean not being able to take the guilt any longer admits to him that he stole his computer, but that was because he was angry at the world and getting influenced by Jay. Snake looks like he wants to murder Sean, but let’s face it, Sean could easily kick his ass too. All Sean can lamely say is that he’s sorry for what he did.

So wow, we’re back to the same restaurant that we’ve seen in Marco’s first date and the time that Spinner and Paige skipped out on lunch. I guess Degrassi only has one fancy restaurant in the whole area. Spinner and Paige spot the gay waiter and they are terrified of him. Oh lord. Seriously? Caitlin and Joey just happen to be dining there too. They talk about her decision and she tells Joey yes. But she then mentions her big time assignment and that she’d have to leave that night. Joey can’t understand why Caitlin would turn it down and tells her to accept it because it’s a big opportunity. She says all sad, “I thought you were my big opportunity.” Joey seems to be doing the right thing by supporting her. But Caitlin being insane seems to take it that Joey doesn’t want her.

Finally it’s time for the dance and it’s as bad as you’d think. I love how Marco is subjecting everyone to his bullshit. But it seems like the lame Degrassi kids love it. Snake comes along dressed like a genie and over hears JT complaining about the drinks. So he makes a run to the store to get more ice. Uh oh, Ellie and Sean walk in dressed like they usually do. Sean tries to talk to Snake, but Snake doesn’t want to hear a thing from him.

Back at the fancy restaurant, the gay waiter comes along and leaves the check. It seems like he’s charged them triple because of Spinner and Paige skipping out. Jimmy for once not having enough has to borrow money from Hazel and he’s even more humiliated now. But it get’s even worse. Cyrus is being arrested for being a scumbag and now they have no ride. Or so they think. Cyrus being the big star that he is orders the police to drive them all to the dance and they do just that. Outside the school, Snake is losing it because his piece of junk car won’t start up. That’s when Sean comes along and offers to help him out.

We cut back to Caitlin at her TV station and Joey decides to confront her on why she’s acting like an ass. Near tears she tells Joey that if he really loved her, he wouldn’t want her to go. He tells her that he wants her to go because he does in fact love her. She brings up the past and says that he’s made promises before, promises that he didn’t keep. So the guy porked Tessa and got her pregnant. Move on Caitlin that was over ten years ago. But you can tell Caitlin is one to never forget. Joey then reassures her that he’ll be there waiting for her. I don’t know what she’s worried about. Joey is a bald loser who can barely take care of himself. He isn’t going anywhere.

Back at the school Sean tells Snake that he has a serious problem with his car and that he wants to help. Snake then throws in his face that he stole the laptop that Spike spent her savings on while he was fucking dying from cancer. Sean now near tears just talks shop because he wants to avoid the issue. Trying to make up for it he tells Snake that if he pays for the parts, then he’ll work on the car for free. Snake always wanting to have a suped up car like in the Fast and the Furious agrees.

Marco’s dreams are coming true by having everyone join him in his Bollywood fantasies. As he’s talking about King and Queen, the curtain that he’s been putting into the lights all episode long catch fire. So that’s it for Gay Indian dance because everyone rushes out in a panic to avoid the sprinklers and flames. At least they didn’t have something happen like in Carrie where half the cast died. Toby comes to mind. Rats. Just as everyone is coming out, that’s when Jimmy and his crew pull up to see that the school is on fire.

At the airport Joey and Caitlin say their goodbye’s and Joey says, “I guess this is it.” Caitlin says, “For now.” You can already tell that Joey regrets telling her to leave. It just hit me how absurd this show can be. Sure she can go on assignment to cover something. But for nine months? What the fuck is she going to do, take part in Aid’s research to find a cure? Caitlin can only do so much interviewing people and ruining their lives. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea that she go. Knowing her, she’ll start a revolution in some stinking shit hole of a country because she loves to rile people up.

In the last scene we go back to the school where the dance is now happening outside. Seems like everyone is having an even better time now that they don’t have to deal with Marco’s stupid theme. Jimmy for some reason is super bummed about how the evening has gone for him. Basically he just wanted to be a big shot and impress Hazel. But she knows that he’s loaded and she’s not going anywhere either. The episode ends with Sean and Snake being cordial towards each other.

So that’s it with this season. I would say that it was better than Season 1 and 2. But this still had it’s duds. Like the Breakfast club episode. As for this episode, it was alright. They did seem to wrap up season long story lines fast. You can tell it was rushed, like the whole thing with Sean and Snake. The Caitlin and Joey plot was a little ridiculous and really added nothing to the story. It’s just more Joey and Caitlin bullshit that’s been happening since the 80’s.


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Season 3, Episode, 18 “Rock and Roll High School”

Welcome back to another episode review of Degrassi. Call me crazy, but I’ve always enjoyed this episode for some inexplicable reason. I mean, it has shitty singing from both Craig and Ashley, but got damn it, this is still a good one.

Pre-Credit Opener: Marco, Spinner and Jimmy happen to find Craig just staring at an ad on the school wall. Turns out it’s for a battle of the bands and the prize is to win studio time to record a single that no one will ever hear. The dudes much like Joey Jeremiah have delusions of grandeur. Ashley comes along and tells the guys to get out of the way because they’re signing up too. Craig tries to make nice but Ashley is obviously still angry about Craig porking and getting Manny pregnant. She predicts that the girls are going to kick their ass off the stage.

In Joey’s garage Craig is struggling to write some lyrics and it’s clear that he’s talentless. The rest of the guys walk in and Marco is seriously wimping out telling everyone that the girls are really good at playing emo rock. Well they do have the power to ward off sexual predators. Craig tells the guys that there is no fucking way that he’s going to allow Ashley to beat them. They start to jam and Craig starts to go off on everyone because they suck. Jimmy tells him to chill out before he breaks a foot up in his ass.

At Degrassi, Paige is telling the girls that Terri is doing much better, she might even open her eyes soon. Shit that is not doing better. She’s basically an invalid. Ashley for some reason hasn’t even gone to see her. That’s pretty low considering they were once best friends. Mrs Kwan walks in and Ashley starts to read lyrics from a song she just wrote and what a surprise it’s a downer. Craig starts to giggle and this mightily pisses Ashley off. Outside of class Ashley explains to the girls that it’s about a girl who died in the Spanish Civil War. Out of all the wars that have happened why that one and what 15, 16 year old girl talks about shit like that? Ellie tells her that it sucked and that it’s supposed to be about something about her. Ashley makes the song about Craig, again, what a surprise.

We cut to the B plot and it involves Joey and Caitlin.  Joey’s busy getting his grocery’s out of the truck of his used car that he drives around from his lot and that’s when Caitlin arrives in a cab. Angela is so excited to see her that she drops and breaks the eggs. Joey is super pissed because this means that he has to go to the dollar store again to get more. She starts to cry rather badly because she’s a horrible actress and Caitlin tries to cheer her up by doing a cartwheel. Joey tries to show that he’s fun and does a hand stand. Then he promptly busts his ass and hurts his back bad.

At the Degrassi mall kiosk Ashley and Craig run into each other and he tries to apologize for what happened. But this is Craig we’re talking about and he only apologizes for making fun of her song and not fucking Manny’s brains out. She get’s even more offended and leaves huffing and puffing away. Craig reasons that Manny seduced him, so he’s blameless.

The next scene is at Joey’s house where he’s dying from his back pain. I’ve had that before and it’s the worst pain ever. So for once I sympathize with him. Angela playing with Caitlin jumps on Joey and hurts his back even more. He can’t stand no more so he’s sending Angela away to his mom’s until he feels better. But Caitlin says that she’ll stay and take care of the both of them. Joey pretty much says that she’s not up to taking care of Angela because she’s a pain in the ass. But still she insists on helping. So she yells out to Angela and with crazy eyes says that she’s taking care of them both.

I guess we’re at the auditions for the battle of the bands and the guys are just doing an instrumental because they have no lyrics to their song yet. Craig all nervous says that he’ll take care of it. Coach Armstrong announces the next group and they’re called Hell Hath No Fury. The girls then come on and Ashley proceeds to destroy Craig and his character.

I’m already bored with the Joey, Caitlin subplot. Angela is being a little shit again and tells Caitlin that she doesn’t want to eat the slop that she made for breakfast. So Caitlin being stupid makes her some pancakes instead of telling her to eat her bowl of crap.

In Snake’s class, Craig walks in all pissed off and he tells Ashley that her lyrics weren’t cool. I don’t know why he’s so upset for, their song wasn’t even that great. Ashley and Ellie starts to say that he’s so vain because he thinks that the song is about him. Craig points out the obvious that Ashley is a bitter angry person and if she wasn’t such a prude, he never would have banged Manny. Which is the truth. Ashley all sarcastic says, ” But I thought you loved her.” It seems like Craig is about to tell her to go fuck herself but Snake tells them to shut up.

In the next scene Craig is telling the guys that he’s out of the competition, but Spinner says that if Ashley wants a war then she has it. We then get a horrible, lame rap that it’s obvious that Drake wrote it. Basically it’s about how much Ashley sucks as a person. Marco of course doesn’t like it and he takes him outside for some advice. Marco’s solution? For Craig to scream all his stress out. Yeah, that’ll do it.

Back to Joey’s house, Angela is now acting like a spoiled little shithead and tells Joey that her day out shopping was just ok even though she got a lot of new toys courtesy of Caitlin. She then announces that she’s going outside to play, but Caitlin tells her to wash up since it’s almost dinner time. Angela ignores her and starts to go out anyways. that’s when Caitlin finally get’s pissed off and tells her to get her ass upstairs and to wash her filthy hands. Angela says, “I hate you.” and goes upstairs stomping her damn feet. Joey of course being a big push over does nothing to punish his rotten little daughter.

Finally it’s time for the Battle of the Bands and the girls are wearing Craig on their shirts and it seems like his face is melting like on Raiders of the Lost Ark. Craig has had it with her petty shit and he starts to whine about how she won’t stop making his life a living hell. She starts to go off on him and says that he broke her heart when he fucked Manny into motherhood and says that she wanted to die because she’s emo as hell. Craig says that he’s sorry and says how many times he has to say it. Ashley all full of sass says, “Until you mean it.”

Ashley and the girls are then seen performing their ode to Craig and the crowd is just loving it. Outside it seems that Craig has flown the coop because he’s nowhere to be seen. Spinner says that they’ll be ok and they’ll use his lyrics instead.

The MC for the event comes out and he looks like Anton LaVey from the Church of Satan. (Google him) Oh we finally find out what their band name is and it’s The Downtown Sasquatch. I gotta say, I like it. Spinner makes an ass of himself and before he can embarrass himself further Craig comes out with a sheet of paper. It’s obvious he finally wrote the lyrics for their song. It’s pretty much about how he just realized how much he hurt Ashley and he feels like a complete pile of shit because of it. It’s hilarious to me that he just barely figured out that he broke Ashley’s heart. I gotta say, even though Craig sucks, it’s a very catchy tune.

We close out the B plot and Joey tells Caitlin that kids like Angela need limits and be told what to do. Caitlin sort of feels better for yelling at his annoying kid.

And so after just two bands the battle of the bands is over and the dudes are triumphant! Ashley comes by and tells Craig that his lyrics were just right. So shit, it seems like finally Ashley is over her heart break. And if you ask me, it’s about time.

So yeah, like I said, this was a good, entertaining episode. Even though I hate myself for sort of liking Craig’s song. True, the whole subplot with Angela and Caitlin was irritating as hell, but it was small enough that it didn’t effect the rest of the episode.


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Season 3, Episode 16, “Take On Me”

Ok all you Degrassi maniacs, this episode is possibly one of the worst episodes of the series. Definitely the worst one for this season. This is an episode that make’s me think, “Well this is unpleasant. Why do I want to be here?”

Pre-Credit Opener: Ellie comes up to the school and makes a face that pretty much shows that she doesn’t want to be there. We then see that she has some OCD thing because she starts to flick a rubber band she has on her wrist. Man she’s more fucked up than I thought. In the cafeteria Mr Raditch walks in dressed like a Mississippi Pimp. No, he’s obviously trying to dress like the asshole teacher was in The Breakfast Club. The students there are Sean, Ellie, Jimmy, Hazel and Toby. Anyways, Raditch just lays down the law and tells them to study and to think about why they’re there. Sean being a rebel burps at him as he’s walking out.

Being lameo’s they actually do what Raditch tells them to do. Except for Sean. Sean is just throwing his prized rubber ball against a wall, annoying everyone. Jimmy can’t stand it and just has to say something. Sean tells him to fuck off and throws the ball up. It knocks down a part of the ceiling almost killing Ellie. But Ellie does’t care about her well being, she just cares that it fell on her emo bag. Sean goes to see if everything is alright and Ellie acts all strange like she doesn’t want anyone near her bag.

I guess they don’t want to get into trouble so the guys are trying to put the ceiling tile back. But because Toby is a useless idiot he can’t get it back in. All of a sudden they get unbalanced and fall to the floor killing Toby. Yes! The moment that I’ve been waiting for. But no, they just fell and didn’t even get hurt. The episode would have been much better if it was one of those situations where they killed Toby and they got rid of his body and they all made a pact never to talk about it again. But they would never do something awesome like that. By the way, the stunt person they used for Toby looks hilariously bad. Anyways, Ellie helps Sean up and they seem to have a connection. Just like Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald!

Barely an hour has passed and Hazel is complaining about the Saturday detention taking an eon to be finished. Sean rolls his eyes and she says, “Some of us have social engagements.” Sean responds with, “Like what? Combing Paige’s ass hairs?” Jimmy acting like Emilo Estevez tells him to back his shit off. Ignoring him because Sean can easily kick his ass as we’ve seen in past seasons, he wonders out loud what Hazel did to end up in Saturday detention. Ellie all of a sudden says that she got caught skipping class. They all make a face like they don’t care and who asked her. Jimmy goes on to say that he’s there because gopher balls over on the other table fucked up hacking the school computer and ratted him out. Hazel meanwhile avoids the question and runs to the rest room instead.

Oh lord. Radich must be at the peak of his homosexuality and is working out with some tight work out clothes and listening to some disco music in the school gym. Hazel walks in and he’s obviously embarrassed that she saw him doing his jazzercize .

Later on the five of them have become so bored that they start to play truth or dare. Seems like it’s Hazel’s turn and she says that she choose’s truth. Ellie right away wants to know why she’s there. Hazel being odd about it doesn’t want to say and says that she wants to do dare instead. Of course they pick out the worst dare that anyone could have come up with. She has to kiss Toby. Disgusted at first she decides to take a bite out of her shit sandwich and walks over to him. The cheesiest sexy music comes on and and she gives him a kiss while Toby is making a face that he can’t believe that a hot girl like Hazel would ever kiss a fucking dweeb like him.

Outside the school Snake is coming out of his car still looking like Lex Luthor but is looking much better. Seems like he’s finally coming back to work.

Back to the lame Breakfast Club, Toby is telling Hazel that JT is going to be so jealous after he hears that he kissed Hazel. Hazel tells him that he’s not telling him shit. Sean asks her what her problem is since it was just a stupid dare. Jimmy speaking for all of us, especially me says, “Because she’s too embarrassed to say that she macked with a total geek.” Toby knowing that he’s hated by all leaves all disappointed and back to his spot under the stairs like the troll that he is. Sean now pissed off starts to get mad at her and says that she’s a person who follows all the rules and doesn’t have the balls to tell anyone why she’s there. After Sean starts hounding her Hazel admits that she got caught looking at porn on the school computer, much to the delight of all of them.

To make the time go by fast they start to play games where they’re throwing shit at Toby. I told you, no one likes him. Snake comes in and asks them what is going on in there. Jimmy tells him that they’re all there because Mr Raditch gave them all Saturday’s. Snake then tells everyone that he’s all done with chemo and he’s ready to work again. He just doesn’t want to be stuck at home with Spike and her Devil child. So who can blame him.

Sean sits next to Ellie and he asks her what’s up with her and the rubber bands. Ellie tells him that it’s a therapy technique to help her stop cutting herself. Sean being genuinely interested asks her why she cuts herself. Being emo as hell, she tells him that it’s the only pain that she could control. He says that it makes sense and she tells him that he’s the first person to say that. She goes on to say that people talk about him too and his reputation for stealing shit from the school. He pretty much admits that he does steal. Just as Jimmy is impaling Toby with a stick Radich walks in and is super pissed to see them goofing off. Ah, we finally see why Ellie was careful with her bag, she has a tape recorder there. Why she would want to record them is beyond me, they’re all so boring.

And we quickly get the answer to that in the next scene. Seems that she’s taping them for some stupid report for either the school paper or Caitlin’s TV station. So wow, Raditch has put each of them in separate rooms for the rest of the day. That’s pretty illegal to do, especially since he’s not even supervising them. Ellie comes into each room and talks everyone into breaking out and wandering around the school. So yeah, we get a lame montage of the five of them doing wacky stupid shit around the school. Eventually they find an elevator that leads to the roof.

Being a big puss Toby is telling them that he doesn’t think that it’s such a good idea. Hazel tells him, “Stop being a bitch and come on!” Hazel wonders out loud if they’re the only ones that have gone up there. Jimmy finds a necklace making it obvious that other people have been up there before. Being romantic he gives the dirty thing to Hazel because she loves it so much. Jimmy then decides to go for it and kisses her. Else where Sean tells Ellie that he thinks that she’s cute. Sean goes on to say that she doesn’t seem afraid of him. Ellie points out that Sean isn’t freaked out by all of her problems either. I guess this is her being romantic, she exposes her arm and shows Sean all of her hideous scars. Because he’s cool, Sean just holds her hand.

Alone because who would want to be with Toby, he sees Mr Raditch and Snake walking out, talking about all the bad behavior from the students lately. Snake tells him that they’re acting like the police. They should educate them yes, discipline them when it’s needed. But that life is too short and he shouldn’t be trying to control them. It seems like he took what Snake said to heart but then he see’s Toby up there because he’s a stupid fuck. Raditch makes a run for it, while the rest of the Degrassi kids do the same.

The rest of them make it to their respective class rooms but stupid Sean locked his own door for some reason. Jimmy tries to help but it’s too late. Sean just tells him to go just as Jimmy opens the door. But uh oh, as he’s running in he drops the keys that Raditch finds as soon as he goes into the hallway. Back in the cafeteria, Raditch is chewing them all out. Since no one is going to rat the person who did it, he decides to give them all Saturday’s for another three weeks. But he seem’s to have a change of heart and just says that he’s trying to do the right thing with them. At that Toby tells him that it was him who took the keys. He tells him that he appreciates his honesty and then tells the rest of them to go home and enjoy their weekends.

Jimmy tells him that he didn’t expect for Toby to be a man and he finally gives him that high five that he was waiting for in the previous episodes. Ellie says that they should take a group photo. As she’s taking out her camera, the tape recorder falls out and they all hear Sean and Ellie’s conversation. They all get disgusted at her and she explains that it was for the TV station. Toby’s all, “You were recording us?” But please, no one gives two fucks for Toby. Sean quickly figures out that it’s about all the thefts that has been happening around the school. Sean pissed off destroy’s her tiny tape with his boot and leaves fuming. Man, Ellie is going to cut the shit out of her arm now.

Seems like it’s Monday and Jimmy and Hazel are now a couple. As they pass by she says hi to Toby. JT noticing that someone cool actually talked to him asks what happened there that past Saturday. Ellie comes by Sean’s locker and says that she was wrong for what she did. But she really wants the connection that she had with him on the roof. She gives him another tape and says that there isn’t going to be a story. Sean having warmed up to her holds her hand and Ellie is happier than a pig in shit.

So yeah, this episode fucking sucked and it was a chore just to make a recap of it. It was such an unoriginal idea and they probably figured that any kid watching this has never seen or heard of The Breakfast Club before. I will admit that it was key in that two relationships blossomed from it and Toby is now being acknowledged as being a Human. But that wasn’t enough to save this shitastic episode. It was such bad TV and I hate the writers of this show for ripping off and ruining The Breakfast Club for life.


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Season 3, Episode 14, “Accidents Will Happen Part 1”

So this episode is one that I’ve hardly seen because it didn’t air here in the United States. I guess the issue of abortion was just too hot to handle. The same thing happened with the original Degrassi High because it was the same subject matter. But we’re watching it now thanks to the magic of DVD. Up yours censorship!

Pre-Credit Opener: So we start off with Degrassi’s gymnastic’s team. Seriously? I had no idea that high schools even had that. I thought it was only for college and you know, people who compete world wide. But ok, Degrassi is branching off into Olympic sports. Kendra starts to complain that she doesn’t feel so good and Mrs Hotness says, “Oh noes, not you too Kendra.” But Kendra runs off in mid sentence to go yack in the girls restroom. Hopefully she doesn’t have the shits either. Manny splits her legs and what a surprise, she does it in front of Craig who is taking pictures for the year book. But she looks at him with hate in her eyes because he was caught being a cheating bastard.

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In the hallway Ashley and Ellie are talking shit about Manny. As they pass by Ashley says, “Hey Ellie do you smell the stench of a nasty stripper?” Ellie responds with, “Yes, it definitely smells like skank in here.” Manny starts to say something along the lines of,” I didn’t want Craig ahoma homa.” Yup, she just trailed off into a mumble and didn’t even finish her sentence. Paige tries to cheer Manny up by saying that Manny is a great gymnast and everyone is talking about how good she is. But her smile quickly fades because her reputation as Degrassi’s biggest whore is seriously the talk of the school. We get the first hint of Manny’s future trouble when Paige mentions that she looks a little pale.

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We move onto the B plot and it involves more of Toby’s despair of still being Degrassi’s resident nerd with the now cool friend. Jimmy comes along and asks JT if he still wants to go down to Buffalo for the concert of the year. Toby tries to act like he’s down with Jimmy but Jimmy tells him not to talk to him because he doesn’t talk to annoying fucking toads. Toby is so depressed when Jimmy just leaves him hanging. Toby says to JT that he doesn’t get it, that Jimmy used to be his friend. JT points out that it was before Ashley dumped his ass. But really, JT doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he’s just that unlikable.

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In the MI lab, Manny sort of tries to apologize to Ashley for banging Craig, but Ashley doesn’t want to hear it. Once again, Manny can’t get out a complete sentence. Finally she says that she’s sorry, but Ashley responds with, “Sorry doesn’t make up for all the pain you caused.” But please, Ashley dwells with emotional pain. That’s why she’s so Emo Supremo. Ashley sort of feels better when Manny said that Craig lied to her too, telling her that she was the only one.

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In Mrs Kwan’s room Manny looks like death and it’s obvious that she’s fighting not to throw up. She asks for permission to go to the restroom and that’s when Mrs Kwan decides to have a hissy fit and starts to complain about coming to school when she knew that she was sick. Seriously, what a bitch. Manny begs her and off she goes to throw up her breakfast.

In the cafeteria Jimmy is telling Hazel that he might not be able to go the concert after all because he’s failing a class. Toby being extra fucking white bread and lame tries to talk all hip hop to him. But this only annoys Jimmy like it annoys me. Toby tries to weasel his way to the concert only to have Jimmy say that there’s limited car space and besides, Toby doesn’t even like rap. Being desperate , he then tries to use his nerd skills to help Jimmy out with his grades, if he can change it, Jimmy says that he’s in.

Back in the hallway Emma reminds Manny that if she’s really sick, then she can’t compete. Manny all full of attitude tells her, “Who are you my mother?” I forgot that they both hate each other now. Manny for her whorish ways and Emma for being a self righteous little bitch. And to prove the point Emma tells her, “The coach should know.” Manny begs her not to tell due to the fact that her life sucks at the moment and gymnastics is the only thing keeping her sane.

During practice Mrs Hotness tells Manny to show everyone else how it’s done. Manny all full of pride get’s on the balance beam with a huge smile on her face. In the locker room Manny tells Emma that she’s sorry to hear that Snake is in the hospital. Emma says that he’s actually doing good, that the more intense chemo is good for him. You can tell that the both of them are slowly on the way to become friends again. They’re interrupted by Hazel though who wants a tampon from either one of them because she has an intense flow going on. Manny throws her one and says, “I haven’t used mine in forever.” Right away Emma’s mind starts to go crazy and quickly wonders if she’s pregnant. Manny being stupid just blows it off because she’s been training like crazy and get’s mad at Emma all over again for even suggesting that she’s with child.

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Outside the school Manny is going into a panic and is going through her calendar, seeing the evidence that she hasn’t had a period in a while. Shit, it goes all the way back to the party when Craig first porked her.

It’s a new day and Manny is just standing there, staring at Craig while he’s sitting on a bench. In Paige’s office, the girls restroom, Manny goes in there for sage advice from her. She asks her, “How do I know, if a guy used a condom?” Paige responds with, “If he didn’t, you wouldn’t have to piss out his goo.” Manny pretty much tells Paige that she has no idea if Craig used a condom or not. But she’s leaning to no. Paige tells her not to worry because he seems like he’s sort of responsible. Paige tells her to ease her mind she should just ask him and next time she does the nasty with someone, she should make damn sure that he uses a condom.

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In the library Toby is trying to hack into the school’s data base and he’s doing it using a hard line and doing it in plain view no less. Toby of course messes up and can’t change the grade because he got disconnected from the server.

It’s finally time for the big gymnastics meet and wow, this is the first time that we’ve seen Manny’s mom. I thought she just lived by herself this whole time. Manny is nervous as hell, but it’s not because she’s competing. Spike’s baby whimpering near by isn’t helping matters out either. Because she can’t take the pressure Manny right away falls off the balance beam and just fucked up the team’s score.

Craig follows her outside and asks her if she’s ok. Manny decides to go for it and asks him if he used a condom when they had sex. Craig clearly going into a panic says that Manny said it was ok and he assumed that meant that she was on the pill. Sort of crying she tells Craig that it was her first time and that doing the act alone was ok. About to lose his mind he asks her if everything is ok. She shakes her head and says, “No it’s not.” But for some reason she lies to him and says that nothing is wrong. He leaves and runs for the hills saying, “See you.”

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Out in the hallway Jimmy asks him how the hacking went and that’s when Toby tells him that he fucked it up and accidentally gave Jimmy an impossible grade. Jimmy asks him if he’s going to fix it, but Toby starts to make excuses. Jimmy just man handles him and tells him to fix the mistake before he get’s into deep shit. Just as he’s getting started Mr Radich comes in and asks him for help because he can’t log into his user account. I love how he comes to Degrassi’s resident techno nerd. Anyways, he get’s caught because he’s a jackass. Jimmy meanwhile runs for his life right out of the room.

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It’s after school and Manny decides to go for a run with her massive Discman. Remember those? She must have anti shock because those damn things would skip over any bump. Anyways, she has a very short run because she starts to throw up again.

She makes her way to Spike’s and she pretty much tells her that she thinks that she’s pregnant. Once again Spike is everyone’s go to person for that since she had Emma at such a young age too. Probably younger than Manny. Later on, Manny comes down and it’s obvious that she’s taken a pregnancy test. She starts to say that she’s stupid for even being in that situation. All Spike says is that she’s not and that she should learn from this mistake. God knows Spike is still paying because she had Emma. Yeah that’s right. I said it! Spike then asks her what she’s going to do if she is pregnant with Craig’s Screech looking child. Manny says that she can’t think about that and she goes on to tell Spike that she’s never going to tell her parents because they’ll literally murder her. The timer finally goes off and it’s the moment of truth. And if you haven’t figured it out already by the title alone, Manny’s pregnant!

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In the next scene Jimmy walks into Mr Radich’s office and he’s told to join him and Toby. Right away Jimmy  much like Manny knows that he’s fucked and it’s obvious that Toby ratted him out. Raditch tells him that he’s going to call his parents and that they both got a Saturday. Mrs Kwan calls Raditch out and that’s when Toby starts to say that he freaked out and didn’t know what else to tell him. Any other kid would have come up with a great lie. I know I would have. But I forget that Toby is the lamest motherfucker in the planet and Jimmy just tells him how it is. He starts to go off on him and says that that Saturday is the rap concert and not only is Toby a fake rap fan, he’s also Canada’s stupidest most worthless computer hacker in that nation’s history.

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Outside the school Craig tells Manny that he got her message. She starts to say that something bad happened and finally tells him that she’s pretty sure that she’s pregnant. Craig all shocked just sits down. Surprisingly he says that it’s ok. Much like Shane (Emma’s dad) in Degrassi Junior High, Craig has delusions of grandeur and thinks that he can actually take care of a baby. Clearly insane he tells Manny that they can be a little family. The episode ends with Manny thinking that Craig has lost his fucking mind.

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This was a pretty good episode. Sure we’ve seen it before in Degrassi Junior High, but this is a good modern take on the subject matter. Toby of course just had to be in it, but I’m glad that Jimmy told him that he sucks because he does! We’ll continue this story line with the shocking conclusion in part 2


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Season 3, Episode 13, ” This Charming Man”

In this episode Sean continues his downward spiral with Canada’s lamest gangstas. While the upper class men dive into the wonderful world of Drivers ED.

Pre credit opener: We begin the episode in Mr Armstrong’s math class. Chris comes along and asks Emma, “So English, did you read the chapta?” I ain’t bullshitting either, that’s how he said it. Emma all smitten with him says, “Sure.” then smiles at him like she has a little girl crush. Class begins and Emma get’s called up to the chalk board to answer a problem. She’s interrupted by Sean and his new big breasted girlfriend Amy making out in class. Emma doesn’t like this one bit and just glares at him with hatred in her eyes. Chris meanwhile is wondering why she even cares about an asshole like Sean for.

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At Emma’s house, Spike proudly shows Emma Snake’s birthday gift which is a new used laptop. Fucking Spike is too cheap to get him a brand new one I guess, but then again, he did lose the other one thanks to Sean. So Snake seems to be out of luck. Emma offers to back up his data and she get’s instantly sad when she see’s a picture of her and Sean. It doesn’t last long though because she deletes it out of spite. Spike has taught her daughter well.

Back at Degrassi, JT and Toby are talking about Sean practically fingering Amy in math class. Emma tries to act like it doesn’t bother her, but clearly it does. They then start to talk about the rumors that Sean’s lame gang are stealing all sorts of shit from the school like the construction paper and all the Now and Later’s they could get their hands on. JT pretty much suggests that maybe it was Sean who stole Snake’s laptop, but Emma for some weird reason doesn’t think that he’s scumbag enough to do that to a sick man like Snake. But oh, yes he is.

The B plot involves Spinner, Paige, Jimmy and Hazel taking Drivers E.D. Paige tries to play with Spinner but he’s a nervous wreak because he wants to ride like the wind when he get’s his license. Big surprise he’s studying and can’t retain the knowledge. Plus he’s also blaming a Mrs Gonzalez for being a hard ass teacher.

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In the MI lab I’m assuming, Ashley and Emma want to use the DVD player for their environmental club, but big surprise, there’s a DVD player missing. Right away Emma suspects that it’s Sean and his crew of flunkies. So being Emma, she spots them outside and starts asking them if they know anything about it. Sean denies it and then has the nerve to act like he’s all hurt by the accusation. Oh lord, Chris comes along fucking beat boxing again, Emma clearly isn’t in the mood for his stupid bullshit. Emma starts to say that she’s trying to remember what it was about Sean that she liked. Chris again barely being understandable says something along the lines of, “Don’t bother, Slim Shady isn’t worth remembering.” He then asks her out on a hot date for some milk shakes, which quickly makes Emma’s day.  Chris meanwhile is so happy he starts to rap and pop and locks his way out of school with some Degrassi style hip hop music playing in the background.

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Outside the older kids are waiting for their teacher and Spinner is delighted to see that it’s actually someone else. Some dude comes out of the car and Paige is instantly smitten with him. He calls himself Mr Falcone, but I always just call him Mr Falcon. Paige is now all hot and bothered and acts all nervous around Mr Wonderful.

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At the Dot Emma and Chris are having their date but she’s quickly distracted by Sean and his friends walking in. Chris is trying to sound like he’s interested in Emma boring crap but he’s going nowhere because she’s so fixated on Sean. All of a sudden she spots Jay stealing candy from the joint. What is it with these motherfuckers and candy? Anyways, Emma has had enough and decides to rat them out to the owner.

As they’re waking home Emma decides to go for it and asks Chris if he wants to go to Snake’s birthday party. He says sure and offers to rap for all the guests. Emma’s joy is short lived because Sean and his “gang” arrive and Jay get’s into her face. He tells Emma that they’re now banned for life from the Dot. Chris then get’s into his face and tells him to go eat somewhere else. Sean knowing that Jay would probably get his ass kicked tells him to just go. But Jay says that since they want to ruin their fun, he’ll start ruining their’s as well. Emma all smart alecky says, “And what is fun for you Jay? Stealing the school DVD player?” Because Jay is a dickhead, he pretty much admits that they stole Snake’s laptop. Sean makes it worse by making a face at him, pretty much cementing his guilt.

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Later on at night Snake is working on his piece of shit computer because he can’t sleep. He’s getting super frustrated because it keeps freezing on him. Hey, we’ve all been there right? Snake says that if he hadn’t lost his other one, he wouldn’t be using Spike’s cheap one. That’s when Emma says, “You didn’t lose it.” Snake asks her what’s that supposed to mean, but she annoyingly says, “Nothing.” I hate it when people do that.

Emma spots Chris at his locker and he says that he has the best present for Snake’s party. Turns out that he wants to give him his mix CD. But he can’t really tell Emma because she’s now obsessed with ruining Sean’s life. You can tell that he’s getting sick and tired of her.

At the drivers ed class, Spinner and Jimmy are making fun of Paige because she’s doing horribly in the class. Hazel meanwhile has quickly figured out that Paige is sucking badly in class because she wants to do Mr Falcon.

In the hallway Emma see’s another picture of her and Sean and she destroy’s it because she’s hella petty. She then see’s Sean and I gotta say, he is acting suspicious as hell. Looking all over the place holding a box close to his chest. Emma decides to play detective and starts to follow him around. But that’s the thing, she’s horrible at it and Sean confronts her and shows her that the box just has a bunch of jumpsuits for autoshop. He then starts to talk straight with her and pretty much tells her what’s what. He tells her that he’s sorry that he hurt her and that their breakup sucked. He then goes on to say that what he does with Jay and his new hoe Amy are none of her business. Which is true. Emma of course get’s pissed off even more because she doesn’t like being talked to that way.

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Out in some park Spinner and Jimmy are still making fun of Paige, but that’s when stupid Hazel says that the only reason she’s doing bad is because of Mr Falcon and that Paige likes him. Spinner being a moron doesn’t get it right away, but he becomes infuriated and leaves huffing and puffing when he figures out that Paige want’s Mr Falcon’s D.

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In the MI lap JT is playing NBA Jams on the computer and that’s when Chris comes along and says that Sean really fucked her up good. See, I told you he’s getting tired of her shit. JT doesn’t help matters by pretty much implying that he’s just her rebound. Chris now has the idea in his head and that’s when Emma comes around for her next scheme at getting back at Sean. She basically wants him to help her narc on Jay and Sean to Mr Raditch. Chris is all, “You’ll let this go?”Emma lies and says yes.

In Radich’s office Chris is actually being honest when they get asked if they saw Jay stealing all the shit that they’re accusing him of. He starts to say no, but he’s cut off by Emma. With no shame or remorse, she starts to say that she and Chris saw Jay and Sean loading some equipment into Jay’s car. Chris is so disgusted by her that he makes a face that makes him look like he smelled a really rancid fart. Radich of course has no choice but to call the police.

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Back to the B plot, Spinner is acting all aggressive towards Mr Falcon, being super disrespectful and talking shit. Paige tells him to calm down, but Mr Falcon tells her to stop distracting him because he has to improve. Spinner meanwhile is so caught up with hating him that he crashes the car. He probably did it on purpose because he wanted to kill him. The stunt man with the Zack Morris hair looks hilarious in this screen shot.

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Outside the school Jay’s car is being searched by the Mounties. Jay being a smartass is telling them that they won’t find a thing because he’s innocent. Emma comes along and Sean starts to go off on her, not believing that she’s that fucking petty. But this is Spike’s daughter we’re talking about. Of course she’s petty as hell. Mr Raditch interrupts him and asks if there’s anything he wants to say. Sean blurts out, “Yeah! Eat a bowl of dicks!” Radich then gives him Saturday’s for the next two months. He then adds, “Don’t mess with the bull young man, you’ll get the horns.” Sean meanwhile spits in front of Emma’s feet and leaves fuming.

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In the hallway Emma finds Chris and she’s all giddy about getting Sean in trouble. Chris asks her, “What about Simpson’s computer?” That’s when Emma shows her true colors and says, “What about it?” Chris has finally had it when she says, “Sean is finally going to pay for what he did to me.” He goes on to say that she’s not over him yet and that he’s just wasting his time. Which is so damn true. He does the Electric Slide and leaves all pissed off.

It’s finally Snake’s big birthday bash and Spikes brings him a desk top cake. I guess Snake is now known as being a techno nerd douche bag instead of the life ruining idiot he was back in School’s Out. Snake tells Emma that he heard that Chris is going to make an appearance but she says that he’s not coming due to him hating her guts. Snake just tells her that if he’s a good person, he’ll forgive her.

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At the Dot Paige comes by and Spinner tells her to leave him alone because he’s working so that he can pay for all the repairs that he did to the student car. Paige tells him that she loves him and blah, blah, blah. Spinner tells her that he switched them back to the mysterious Mrs Gonzalez. I had no idea students had the option to switch back in forth between teachers. But hey, this is Degrassi. Paige says, “It’s ok, I will miss those dimples, chiseled jaw and that huge bulge of his.” Spinner get’s steamed but that’s when she laughs and says that she’s just kidding.

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In the last scene Emma spots Chris at the mall and she tells him that she loves track 3 to whatever rap album he’s listening to. But Emma is full of shit. You can tell that she listens to The Dave Matthew’s Band and Nickelback. She starts to then kiss his ass and asks him for another chance. She promises that she’ll never talk about Sean again and that she did what she did because he broke her heart. Chris mumbles, “Does it feel any betta?” She says that it might if he would come over for some birthday cake.

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So this episode pretty much sucked. I didn’t care for the B plot at all and Emma was just annoying as hell through out. I can totally see why people hate Emma so much for. But no worries Degrassi fiends. The next episode is better because we continue with Manny and Craig’s relationship. See I told you Manny became a much more interesting character once she stopped hanging out with Emma.