Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama. New reviews at least once a week. Hopefully. But if I feel like it I might make two to three reviews a week. So it'll depend.


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Season 2, Episode 11, “Don’t Believe The Hype”

Now I don’t remember watching this one when The N was airing the show. Maybe it was too controversial because it has to do with hate crimes against Muslims, plus 9/11 had barely happened 2 years before I think. So maybe they thought it was too much to take for American audiences. Way to puss out The N!

Pre-credit opener: Hazel and Terri are at their lockers discussing what dish they should bring for international day. Terri thinks she should bring some Haggis. Hazel clearly disgusted points out that it’s just full of sheep guts. Paige comes along and gives Hazel a ticket for being a fashion victim. Just then this girl named Fareeza comes along and we can tell right away that she’s a Muslim because of the head scarf she has on. Terri wonders out loud, “Do you think they’re bald under there?” Ashley get’s all offended and points out to Terri what a shitty thing that was to say. But oh it’s get’s worse. Hazel stops her and says that she’s under arrest for “terrorist chic.” Fareeza all pissed off rolls it up to a ball and throws it away. Not only is she a terrorist, she’s a litter bug! I’m just kidding with that, so don’t be sending me angry comments. But even Paige being a major bitch is shocked at what Hazel just did. Yup, it’s going to be a special episode of Degrassi. Even though most of them are, or at least the writers think they are.

Fareeza Hazel

In the MI room Snake comes along and takes away Spinner and Jimmy’s hacky sack away from them. Why? Because he’s a dick still. He reminds everyone about how it’s going to be international day and Spinner tells him that he doesn’t have a culture. Snake says that it’s bullshit and that everyone has something ethnic about them. It’s obvious that Hazel has a real issue with International day and doesn’t want to participate. Paige wonders why she hasn’t even bothered starting yet, let alone being invited to her house.

Oh lord we come to the B plot and I knew it was going to involve Toby or JT. Luckily for all of us we get stuck with JT in this episode. Liberty comes along and she fucking sucks at sewing things together. JT meanwhile seems to be a professional seamstress. No way did he do that, it looks store bought. Toby and Sean come in the class and Sean complains about how much the class sucks because it’s for girls. Then why did you sign up for it then, cause I’m assuming it’s an elective. Anyways Liberty points out how good JT’s project is and Sean calls him “Gay T.” I admit, I laughed my ass off at that. Good one Sean. We then get the old sitcom device of a misunderstanding. JT takes Liberty’s project and calls it his own. The teacher now thinks that Liberty is a seamstress genius.

JT

In the hallway Spinner is telling Drake how he asked his mom where his family came from and she pointed to a globe and said he was from Earth. I can totally relate to that. My dad would be just as helpful about his family line because he doesn’t give a shit. Glad I never had to do such a project in school because I’d be so boned. Paige is telling Hazel all about her Ukrainian outfit that she has planned but Hazel is dead set about international day. It doesn’t take a genius to already know that she’s ashamed of where she’s from. It’s hilarious how Paige just assumes that Hazel is from Jamaica. To make the point we get this lame Jamaican music cue as the scene changes.

Outside Liberty is begging JT for some help because she has to make a skirt now. JT says that he doesn’t care about her problem and neither do I. Of course she black mails him and now he’s stuck having to do her project.

Ok, stop it Degrassi, we get another Jamaican cue and Hazel is going to a Jamaican restaurant to get some jerk chicken to show her class the real Jamaica. As the guy is giving her the chicken for her project he points out to her that she’s not Jamaican. This guy is way too fucking nice. He gives her a discount on a large order of chicken and gives her a poster of Jamaica.

Hazel, Old Man

Finally it’s International day and Spinner is dressed like a cowboy for some reason. He gives Snake a pizza with Polish, Italian and Russian sausage. Snake wants to immediately throw up though because dumbass barely cooked it. So it’s safe to assume that Snake is now dying of Salmonella poisoning. Mr Raditch meanwhile is fighting against getting a boner and trying not to look at Paige’s body because of her slutty version of her Ukrainian costume. Hazel get’s some high marks for her chicken and Snake points out that it’s just as good as the Jamaican place he lives near by. Yeah, of course he just happens to live near the place.

Snake, Spinner, Drake Mr Raditch, Paige

It’s lunch time and Fareeza decides to confront Hazel. The way she looks and talks, I thought it was Lani Billard who played Busy in Ready or Not. But Busy is around my age and she would have been too old for this already. Anyways, Fareeza points out to Hazel how her last name sounds like it’s more from Somalia, she even points out how she even looks Somalian. Hazel tells her to fuck off and to mind her own goddamn business before Jamaica nukes Iraq. Oh God, JT and Liberty are working on the project and JT is showing her his magic. He goes on to say that his mom is a seamstress and that’s where he got his mad skills. I’m convinced that he is gay now.

Hazel, Fareeza

As the students are walking in to the gym again they’re all in shock to see that someone defaced Fareeza’s project on Iraq. Even writing Terrorist across her damn board. Did 9/11 really create this kind of hatred in Canada too? How interesting.

Terrorist

Back in the MI class Fareeza is in tears talking to the police and Mr Raditch. Snake is outraged at this heinous act and says that a hate crime was committed. He says that for now International day and all classes are on hold. Me being an asshole I would be all too happy to hear this news. Terri blurts out that none of them did it and that none of them are like that. That’s when Ashley decides to be a shit head and calls her out on what she said about Muslims earlier. Fuck off Ashley. I hate shit starters like her. Spinner goes on to point out how people are scared and what does she expect. Jimmy tells everyone about a neighbor who has had his bank account frozen a few times because his name just happens to be Osama. Ah the times when people were really paranoid of Muslims and terrorist attacks. Actually that shit has gotten worse, especially here.

Ashley

Here we get a montage of different class rooms talking about what happened. Toby just says, “Come on Sean, it’s hate!” I rolled my eyes so hard I now need surgery. Then he goes on to mention the Holocaust and if he was around at the time he and Gilbert Gottfried would have been the first one’s thrown into an oven. Kendra goes on to point out that she’s Asian and her family are white people. So she’s proof that different races can get along. Spinner saying what people really think says that he doesn’t want to be blown out of the sky from some terrorist. Ashley just can’t help being all judgmental towards everyone who disagrees with her. Can you all sense that Degrassi wanted to start a dialog with kids back in the day? It’s so damn preachy though.

Toby

Uh oh, Hazel seems to be in deep shit because Raditch has now called her up to his office. Turns out that Hazel is the prime suspect because of how shitty she treated Fareeza the whole episode. Hazel goes on to say that she can’t stand Fareeza because she’s a shit head. But that she would never do something like that to her display. Raditch get’s a call and then tells them that they caught who did it. Turns out it was two guys in grade 10. If I was Hazel I would demand a fucking apology from Raditch for being quick to lay blame. Instead he lectures her some more and tells her that her harassment was still a fucked up thing to do. So Hazel still loses in this.

In the Home Ec class Liberty admits to everyone that JT is the real genius and everyone is surprised to learn that JT isn’t completely retarded. Of course Sean and Toby make fun of him until JT get’s surrounded by all the Degrassi women who want to pay him to make them custom pants. He’s charging up the ass for them, so it seems like JT has the last laugh here. Especially since that little horn dog get’s to measure their bodies.

JT, Manny, Emma

So here we come to the heart to heart scene of the episode. It turns out that Fareeza was completely spot on about everything Hazel. Turns out that she is a skinny and at her last school Hazel was hella harassed for being a Muslim and her head scarf. Fareeza not even having one trace of compassion for her doesn’t give a shit about what happened or for her tears.

Hazel, Crying

In Snake’s class Hazel gives everyone a presentation and admits that she’s from Somalia and they came to Canada because of the civil war there. Terri not even waiting for her to finish talking interrupts and asks her why she doesn’t wear the head scarf thing. Hazel says what it is and that it’s a choice if she wants to wear it or not. Funny, I always assumed that it wasn’t a choice. But Degrassi says so, so it must be true. The episode ends with Hazel telling everyone like in X-Men First class, “Muslim and proud.”

Hazel, End Credits

For this being Hazel’s one and only episode, I think it was a good one. We finally got to see what makes a minor character tick. But this episode was so goddamn preachy too. The lesson is kids, be tolerant. Funny how it was never mentioned again that she was a Muslim. Degrassi sure ran away from that issue real fast.

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Season 2, Episode 9, “Mirror In The Bathroom”

So what I hear is that a lot of people hate this episode and who can blame them because it stars Toby in it. I have a feeling this one is going to be a real chore to write out.

Pre-credit opener: We see Liberty doing the school announcements congratulating Milhouse on a job well done competing and winning first place in the Canadian computer nerd Olympics. Oh shit, not even first place, it was third. See he’s such a loser that even in a competition amongst nerds he still can’t win. But I love how he’s looking around for people’s reaction but it’s clear that no one gives two fuck about him or his feat. He get’s even more disappointed when Sean get’s all the praise for being that month’s Degrassi sports MVP. It’s hilarious to see his generic jacket that just says Wrestling on the back. It’s like John Belushi’s now iconic sweater from Animal House that just said College. But I doubt the Degrassi writers are that clever.

Sean Toby

In Mrs H’s biology room he asks her if everything about them is decided through their DNA. She explains that eye color is, and the fact that she’s sexy as hell, but everything else is all them. He’s even more depressed now because being the class dip shit was all his doing. JT tries to reassure him that being a huge nerd isn’t a big deal but Milhouse is determined to change that aspect of himself, so he decides to go out for the wrestling team.

Toby, Mrs H

Out on the quad Spinner is saying how impressed he is by Terri’s new flip phone because it has wireless access, email and a GPS. Which still makes that phone very wack because it seems like it has a green screen. Paige and Hazel come along and demand to know where she got the money to buy a brand new phone and a new bag and coat. She just says that her dad made some extra money and that’s when Paige says, “What did he rob a bank?” Spinner tells her to leave her the fuck alone already and to mind her one business. But she’s determined to know because she’s nosy as hell and her guess is that Terri is shoplifting all her new swag.

Terri

In the cafeteria JT is telling Milhouse the same thing I was was thinking that if he tries out for the wrestling team than he’s going to get murdered. Toby figures that if he trains hard enough that he’ll get into shape in order to kick some ass. But come on, let’s get realistic here. He couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if his life depended on it. Ashley comes along and it’s now the look that she’s going to have the rest of the season, dark and very short hair. Toby calls her a vampire and says that he won’t be home because of wrestling practice. Even Ashley being all emo can’t help laughing at his puny ass.

It seems like it’s a new day and Terri and the girls are hanging out on the steps and that’s when Spinner walks in and asks her why didn’t she tell them. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he takes them outside to look at something. They get to a bus stop and holy shit. Terri is in an ad campaign for a plus size clothing line called More Grrrl. What a name. Terri tells them that she didn’t want to tell them about it because of her weight again. And to make her point some kid who I’ll name Sabu comes along and starts making fun of her asking her if the photographer used a wide angle lens. Everyone defends her, but Terri still feels bad because of that asshole.

Terri, Sabu

Milhouse walks in for the try outs and is immediately intimated by Sean choking out Sabu on the floor. Coach Armstrong starts to weigh them for their weight classes and this black nerd totally wants to wrestle Milhouse because he knows that he can take him. But Armstrong says that they’re in different weight classes and Milhouse is going to be paired off with Sean. This is literally the battle between the eye brows and it’s over in about 2 seconds. So pathetic.

Sean, Toby

In the MI class JT tells Toby about some wrestling website that he just happened to find. The point of this boring scene is that making weight is bad for you. Very, very bad and in true Degrassi fashion Toby is going to have to learn this lesson the hard way. Too bad we have to witness it.

We then go into a training montage with JT helping Toby lose weight. I bet this is the first time that Milhouse has actually done something physical outside of gym class. We should have heard You’re the Best Around from the Karate Kid during this scene, but I’m more than sure that Degrassi couldn’t afford it. Anyways, Toby runs around with a garbage bag around him because I’m guessing it’s supposed to make him sweat. He should have watched the classic 80’s wrestling movie Vision Quest to see how making weight is really accomplished, but I’m convinced that Toby would have seriously died. Toby starts to complain that in three days he’s only lost about 1 pound. JT decides to take Toby to the local Degrassi mini mart for a drink and that’s when Toby spots some ex lax. So of course he has the great idea that he’ll shit out the rest of the pounds.

JT, Toby

The next day of school Toby is obviously starving from not eating and is ready to be weighed again. Coach Armstrong notices the big drop in weight. Not really, just about five pounds, but he warns him that if he’s caught making weight then he’ll be cut from the team. But who cares. Toby dropped enough to wrestle the little black dweeb and unbelievably beats him. I never thought that Toby could over power anyone, but he did. So he’s now on the team.

At their house Ashley calls Toby Jockstrap and says that there are two giant chocolate muffins just waiting for his pudgy ass to devour. But since he wants to keep the weight off he decides to skip them and his breakfast. She points out that he’s been skipping his meals for days now. True to his fashion he acts like a complete dick and calls her a vampire again.

Ashley

In the Degrassi lobby Sabu is telling Toby that now that he’s on the team he get’s his own cheap generic windbreaker of his very own. Toby is beyond ecstatic at this point. Especially since it seems like this would be girlfriend Kendra just loves that he’s sort of a jock. It doesn’t last long though and he annoys the shit out of her and the new wheel chair girl. JT comes along and points out what a giant wannabe douche bag Toby is acting now. Toby acts like a dick towards him too and says that he’s just jealous because he’s just the mascot.

Kendra, Wheelchair

In the MI class Hazel asks Terri when her next photoshoot is and she says that very day, but she’s not going to go because she’s so goddamn insecure about her weight. Paige get’s all annoyed with her because she wants to back out of it because of what Sabu said.

Oh God! We get it Degrassi writers! One thing about Degrassi is that they always manage to cram their message down our throats. Even when we get the picture. Toby is all dizzy because he’s not eating and Ashley comes along giving him even more shit about it.  Toby orders a bunch of food just to get her off his back and the food looks nasty as hell.

Toby, Ashley

And of course the next scene is in the boys laboratory and Toby throws his lunch up. JT just happens to walk in and hears him yacking in the stall. Ashley comes along and tells JT that she’s worried about Toby. JT mentions that he’s been acting all crabby and that’s when she mentions that she’s pretty sure that he has an eating disorder. JT tells her that that’s only girl stuff but she points out to him that guys can get it too. So after school special here! We get more evidence of Toby not being well and even Snake notices that he looks like complete shit.

Spinner comes along and he hears Terri canceling her photoshoot. She tells him that she’s through with the plus size modeling gig because she hates her body. Spinner for once not being a fucking asshole tells her that she really is beautiful and that a lot of guys like a girl with some extra meat on them. He goes on to say that she shouldn’t listen to guys who put her down. I saw Christina Schmidt, the actress who plays Terri on Instagram and she is finer than a motherfucker. I know that has nothing to do with the story, just saying.

Terri, Spinner

Finally it’s time for the first wrestling meet and Toby is about five minutes away from dying or at least passing out because he’s so malnourished. JT tries to reason with him but he doesn’t want to hear a thing. He get’s all pissed off because Ashley and him are worried about him. I would say it was the starvation talking but Toby is just that big of a dickhead to get mad at something like that. He vows to JT that he’s going to go out there and win and not get third place in some geek contest.

Toby starts his match and immediately dies from his heart just stopping. He just drops dead and everyone is all horrified at the sight. But no, he’s still alive, that was just my little fantasy there. Much like Claude’s death Toby’s death would have zero impact on the school or the students.

Toby, Passed Out

This scene right here is the best part of the episode because Terri finally stands up for herself. Terri is telling Paige and Hazel all about her photoshoot and is even showing them pictures. That’s when Sabu once again makes fun of her by saying that she should join Degrassi’s sumo team. Terri can’t stands no more of this shit and goes off on his ass. She makes fun of his goofy job as an ice cream man and tells him how she made mad money off of one photoshoot. I have to admit, I laughed my ass off.

Terri, Paige, Sabu Sabu, Terri

At their house JT walks in and Toby tells him that Coach Armstrong chewed his ass out and kicked him off of the team. Serves him right for trying to become something that he’s not. Toby feels good because people actually asked if he was ok. Especially because it was Sean and Kendra asking for the most part.

Toby, End Credits

So yeah, now that I think about it, this was a big time rehash of the Degrassi Junior High episode when Kathleen had her eating disorder. Only they did a much better job at it than this go around. Maybe I would have given a shit if t was anyone else but Toby. At least Terri’s story line was a bit more entertaining and it was great to see her finally standing up for herself.


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Season 2, Episode 8, “Shout Part 2”

So yeah, I deliberately put this one off because I just hate this two parter so much. It’s probably because I dislike both Paige and Dean. Even though Paige is the victim in this episode.

Pre-credit opener: I’m surprised we didn’t get a recap of the last episode. Right away I can tell that Paige is dreaming just by going by the strange way the scene in the Degrassi girls restroom is being lit. As if to remind us how old as fuck Dean really is, he pops out of a stall and we can see that he has a tattoo on his forearm. With a smug look on his face, he says, “Hey Spirit.” Paige immediately starts to freak out and tells him that he raped her. Dream Dean starts to tell her that she wanted it and forces himself on her again. Mercifully Paige is woken up from her dream by her alarm clock.

Paige, Dean

At Degrassi Terri sporting some corn rolls tells Paige all about a female empowerment band competition, or something like that. Terri is way into getting into the competition, but Paige points out to her that their band PMS broke up. That didn’t last long at all. Probably because Ashley was ostracized by that shithead Paige. Paige being Paige now wants to do it because they can win a trip to LA and play in front of some record executives.

In Snake’s class Terri mentions to Paige that they need Ashley to sing but Paige still being filled with hatred tells her fuck no. Oh lord, she turns Hazel around and tells Terri that she’s their new lead singer. But she instantly regrets that decision because Hazel can’t sing worth a shit. She’s so God awful. Even Ashley looks like she wants to laugh her ass off in the back ground.

Paige, Hazel,

In Mrs Kwan’s English class Terri is giving a nervous speech about her ode to foode. Ashley then comes up and just like Claude from Degrassi High depresses everyone, because her’s is about the fucked up subject of rape. Where would she even think about doing that. It’s like, “Oh I have an afternoon free, let me write about rape.” As I typed that I saw my own reflection on the monitor and realized that I’m an asshole writing about rape on his free time too. Oh the irony. Moving on, Paige of course is taking it to heart because unlike Ashley, she is a victim of it.

Ashley, Paige, Hazel

Back to the MI lab and Sean is giving a report about the inventor of motorcycles. Isn’t this a computer class? Why are they giving speeches about people they admire? It’s like the teachers at that school just do whatever. And speaking of whatever, Liberty comes up and her subject is JT. She dresses up like him and completely humiliates him by having all sorts of embarrassing pictures of him. Including pictures of him looking extremely gay and looking even more gayer being outside shirtless with some floaties. Turns out that Milhouse is the one who gave her his photo album. But what kid at that age keeps photos of himself?

JT, Liberty

At the lockers JT comes up to all of his friends laughing their asses off at him and he tells them that it wasn’t that funny. But they beg to differ. Liberty points out that her imitation of him was a tribute. So going by that he starts to act like her and points out how she acts like a nerdy two shoes and how she really doesn’t have any friends and no one likes her. She leaves all pissed off sort of like she wants to cry and now everyone is pissed off at him. I hate it when people can dish it out, but they can’t take it. Stand your ground JT, she deserved it.

In the Degrassi music room Hazel is still singing like complete shit and Paige can’t take it any more. Terri comes in wearing the same outfit from the previous season and says that she did it to get into the mood. Paige tells her that it’s so last year and she’s way out of touch with trends. Terri tells her, “Bitch, why do you have to be so mean?” But of course being a heinous bitch she says, “I’m not mean, I’m right.” If I were Terri I would have said, “I quit.” Seriously who needs that abuse. Anyways, Paige tells her that they’re going to go by a new wardrobe and Terri, surprisingly  stands up for herself and tells her no. Then says, “Paige doesn’t understand that word, never has.” HAHA! That sure got her. Paige get’s super pissed and tells her to cut her shit out. They start to rehearse and yeah, they fucking suck donkey balls, mostly because of Hazel.

Terri, Hazel, Paige

Paige leaves the room all disgusted at the both of them and she decides to pay Ashley a visit at her house. Outside we can hear Ashley singing stupid emo songs that she wrote herself on her mom’s piano. Paige knocks on the door and Ashley all surly tells her, “What are you doing here?” As the scene is going on Ashley is pointing out to her that she has real nerve asking her for her help after what she did to her. Paige starts to kiss major ass and tells her how great her dark poem was and that it spoke to her. Ashley being right tells her that it’ll just end up like last year with Paige ruining everything. After much groveling Ashley agrees to join PMS again because she’s a glutton for punishment.

Ashley

At the Degrassi recording studios Ashley is back practicing on her keyboard and she gives all the girls new lyrics. She goes on to tell them that it’s about rape. Yeah out of all subjects fucking Ashley decides to go with this one. All happy about it, she tells the girls the stats on how many teenage girls get raped by the time they get to college. Predictably Paige goes ape shit and tells her to change the lyrics to the song and a whole big argument begins between the two of them. Paige then demands that they do the other lyrics instead. Again, I don’t know why Ashley doesn’t tell her to go fuck herself and quit the band.

We go back to the B plot and JT starts to make fun of Liberty and her lameness again. He points out the same thing I said that she can dish it out, but can’t take it. At that she starts to go off on him and calls him, “JT Dork.”  and some other shit about him not knowing her. He says that he does and that she’s a big bore of a person and she does nothing fun. She grabs a marker out of his hand and does a Satanic looking symbol on some lockers and tells him, “Fun enough for you!” Stupid JT then starts to try and rub it off, but since it’s a permanent, it’s not going anywhere.

JT

In the MI lab Ashley confronts Paige about the lyrics and they have another argument again. Ashley tells her that she’s acting just like she was last year and demands to know what her problem is with her fucked up lyrics. Paige shouts to her that singing a song about rape isn’t going to win them the contest. You know, I have to agree with her on that. She goes on to say that Ashley doesn’t know jack shit about it and her reading about it doesn’t mean that she does. Ashley tells her that she’s allowed to imagine and Paige shouts, “No you’re not!” And then stops because the whole class including Snake are just staring at the two of them. All calmly she tells Ashley to bring the old lyrics.

Media Immersion Class

Back with JT and Liberty, JT asks her how could she do that and she wrote “graffiti” on his locker. She starts to act like an asshole and that’s when Mr Raditch interrupts them and he’s seriously pissed off. He tells him what he was thinking and that people saw him do it. JT denies it but dumbass has all the red ink all over his hands because he tried to rub it off. Liberty is all smiles because Raditch took him to his office for a caning and a call home to his mom. In Mrs Kwan’s class Milhouse asks her if she’s seen JT and she tells him what happened. Milhouse get’s all depressed and tells Liberty that if JT got in trouble again his mom was going to send his ass to Oats Military Academy.

PMS is rehearsing again but that’s when Hazel walks in and tells them with a sign that she can’t sing. Paige makes a sarcastic remark at that and Hazel flips her off and says that she can’t sing due to Polyps. Ashley get’s all excited over Hazel’s misfortunes, which pretty much makes her look like an awful person. She starts to sing her rape song again and fuck! Paige for about the 6th time in this episode get’s all pissed off and tells her that they’re not going to use those lyrics.

They go outside and they start to go at it. Paige finally starts to cry and Ashley can finally see that Paige was actually raped. So the flood gates are now opened and Paige tells her what happened. Ashley asks her if she’s been to a dr and Paige tells her that he used a condom. She doesn’t even want to see a counselor about it. Later on all this inaction about Dean is going to bite Paige in the ass. But that’s a few seasons from now.

Ashley, Paige

Back to JT, it seems like Mr Raditch has given him a jar of piss and a tooth brush to clean the mess that Liberty made. And speak of the devil. She comes along and admits to him that she was the one who defaced school property.

Mr Raditch, Liberty, JT

Finally it’s time for the big battle of the Female bands and it seems like it’s at a shopping mall. Way to be cheap Degrassi producers. They come out and Paige is stricken stiff with terror because she spots Dean out in the crowd looking more smug than ever. But she actually starts to get pissed off and she starts to sing Ashley’s lyrics about being raped. Dean leaves all scared thanks to the power of Rock and Roll and those lyrics.

Paige Dean

We come to JT and Liberty and it seems like she’s on garbage detail and she tells JT all about Mr Raditch telling her parents what she did. And yeah, who cares. This is another B plot that always ground this episode to a halt.

In the hallway it’s clear by what they’re saying that they lost the battle of the bands. Ellie comes along and tells them that they were robbed. She goes on to tell Paige that she was awesome. As they all leave Paige is going to walk into her guidance counselor’s office and she’s ready to talk. But she’s talking to the wrong person. Going by experience, my guidance counselor was completely useless.

Paige, Ellie, Ashley Paige, End Credits

So there you have it peeps. The rape two parter. It was ok. No you know what? I hate this two part episode. Why lie about it. It pisses me off that nothing really happened to Dean. You would have thought that an alpha bitch like Paige would do everything in her power to completely destroy that piece of shit. But no, it’s left all opened ended. But what do we expect from Degrassi. God forbid we ever get any closure to story lines.


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Season 2, Episode 7, “Shout, Part 1”

Ok, I just wanna start out with saying that I hate this two parter and it’s mostly because I hate the character of Dean. Such a smug motherfucker. But I guess that says a lot about his acting ability.

Pre-credit opener: We open with a very intense game of soccer between Degrassi and some unnamed high school. Spinner seems to be making a break for it with the ball while Dean is hauling ass trying to catch him. Paige meanwhile is on the sidelines pretending to be cheering for Degrassi, but she’s so caught up at just gawking at him with lust in her eyes. Spinner makes the game winning goal and is the hero of the game. Good for him not being the water boy this time around. Anyways, Dean spots Paige staring at her and smiles back. Ok, in what world is this guy a high school student? He looks like a fucking 40 year old man.

Paige Dean

As the other school is leaving Paige is still checking out Dean and that’s when Hazel tells her that it ain’t never going to happen. That’s when Spinner comes along and you can tell that Paige can give a shit about him, even as he’s asking her out for a date. She gives him a lame excuse but Spinner begs her if she can move it for Sunday. She says sure and Hazel points out how much Spinner is into her, but Paige just says that it’s no big deal since they’ve done stuff together before and that they’re just friends.

In the locker room Drake is telling Spinner that he knew that he was into her. Of course he was, everyone can tell. Spinner says, “Of course, I’m a winner on the field and with the ladies!” Drake goes on to point out to him that Paige is the coolest girl in grade 9. Jimmy suggests that he step it up for those reasons, but Spinner also has a bit of a cool thing going for him since he is a star soccer player.

Spinner

Oh lord. Paige is still going on about Dean and totally wants to go out with him. So being all aggressive she introduces herself to him and says that she’s head of the spirit squad. He calls her Spirit and tells her his name. Spirit is a name that he’ll use with her for as long as he’s on this show. As his bus is pulling away he invites the both of them to a party. Probably a frat one because he’s old as fuck.

Oh no! NO! NOOOO!!!!! JT and Toby have the B plot and just looking at Toby opening his locker and having all of JT’s shit falling out of it instantly annoyed me. It’s plots like these that make writing this blog a real chore. JT is in his school mascot costume and I don’t know if it’s everywhere, but in my high school the identity of who it was, was always a secret. But I guess Degrassi doesn’t give a shit about things like those. Going on, it’s the old cliched story line of two friends not getting along when they share a space, this time being a shared locker.

Toby, JT

Mercifully we cut to Paige and Hazel shopping and Paige is pouting because Hazel won’t let her get fuck me pumps because they’re way too tall. Paige then get’s a text and it’s Spinner. It’s pretty clear that Paige hasn’t canceled on him yet. So she gives him a horrible excuse of her grandma being in the hospital.

HAHA! Oh God, we come to Spinner and Jimmy shopping at an ancient Blockbuster video. Spinner is getting all these sappy love stories for Paige and Drake points out that it’s a date, not a marathon. As Drake is getting a bunch of chips and candy Spinner get’s the text and get’s all disappointed at her canceling. I can’t believe that he bought her bullshit lie. Jimmy tells him not to despair and that he’s going to show him a good time.

Drake, Spinner

It’s finally time for the big party and the both of them come dressed like a couple of hootches. Paige even bought the stripper heels, she tries to make some small talk with him and you can tell that he can give two shit’s about anything she has to say. As he goes to get her a drink this black chick tells Paige that she should chill out because he’s way too old for her. See, even Degrassi is pointing out how old this guy looks. He looks like those loser old guys that parties with high school students still. Paige being annoying tells her, “Fuck off hoe, you’re just being jealous.”

Hazel, Paige

Sigh! JT and Toby are at Toby’s house doing shit that two nerds usually do on a Friday night. Which is just hanging out and talking about non sense. JT brings up their locker and he promises to clean everything up. He’s making up some disgusting looking concoction and I could careless.

Back to the party Dean is seriously laying it on thick on Paige, telling her how beautiful her eyes are. Of course she’s loving getting the attention from a guy who can legally drink alcohol. But oh shit, she spots Jimmy and Spinner at the party. Hazel suggests that they should leave but she says, “No way, I’m this close.” That’s when she makes what is probably the worst mistake of her life and asks him to take her to a quiet room where they can be by themselves.

Jimmy, Spinner

This is where things take a turn for the worst. He sweet talks her some more and they start to make out. Of course this guy being a walking hard on, he leads her to the bed and starts to force himself on her. She tells him to stop but this is when the prick actually busts out a condom and Paige immediately starts to panic and tries to leave. But he forces her back down and yup, Paige is being raped while she’s telling him to stop.

Dean, Paige

All of a sudden it’s Monday I’m guessing and she’s hella depressed while she’s sitting at the bleachers hearing that asshole’s voice over and over. Hazel and Terri come by her locker and that’s when Terri wants to hear all the horny details but Paige is being all subdued, and basically makes it sounds like they had consensual sex. Drake meanwhile hears this and is automatically pissed off for his homie Spinner.

Terri, Hazel, Paige

At the MI lab Snake is going through an assignment and he notices that Paige is just staring at her screen and she goes on to tell him that she forgot to email her essay to her account. Hazel meanwhile is noticing that Paige is acting weird. Ok wait, I swear that she seriously implied that they had sex, but in this scene Paige tells her that they’d didn’t just simply kiss, but actually did the nasty. Way to confuse me Degrassi writers. Anyways, Hazel is shocked to hear this news but they can’t get into it because Snake is being a dick.

Snake, Hazel, Paige

We get back to Toby and JT and Toby is doing the classic sitcom plot device of putting a piece of tape to mark each other’s boundaries. He explains the rules to JT and then leaves, JT sticks it to him though by cutting the sleeves off of Toby’s sweater that was going over on his side.

It’s lunch time and Spinner is telling Jimmy that he wants to take Paige to go see Star Wars, but Jimmy tells him to cool it with her and that she’s busy with cheer leading and class. Spinner basically says, “Big fucking deal yo.” But that’s when Jimmy tells him that’s he’s heard shit, like Paige and Dean hooking up at the party that they were at. Spinner of course is all heartbroken over hearing this news.

Spinner, Jimmy

In Mrs Kwan’s room everyone is busy reading their novels. I’m surprised that she doesn’t have them doing non English class things like more improv. What the fuck Mrs Kwan. Hazel takes this time as an opportunity of getting all the sexual details of Paige’s first time boning. But she notices that Paige is acting like it’s not even a big deal. Hazel of course being nosy as hell demands to know a detail or two. That’s when Paige tells her that she’ll change seats if she doesn’t shut the fuck up. Spinner meanwhile is just staring at her all pissed off.

In the hallway we can all tell that Spinner is going to confront Paige and her bullshit that she told him. He asks her how her grandma is and she can’t even remember her lie. He get’s her attention though by asking how Dean is doing and tells her he knows what happened. She says, “Were you in the room with me? I don’t think you were.” She tries to walk away and that’s when he grabs her arm and points out that she lied to him. She fucking goes ballistic here and tells him not to touch her ever again and this is where he gives her the real zinger of, “Why not, everyone else does!” Oh what a major burn. And she fucking bitch slaps the shit out of him and just walks away, leaving him completely shocked.

Paige, Spinner, Slap

NO!!! Stop going to fucking Toby and JT’s lame B plot! Toby discovers his cut sleeve and they start a stupid fight about the locker. Just as they’re starting their little sissy fight Radich comes along and puts a stop to it. It’s stupid story lines like these that make me miss Liberty’s crush on JT.

JT, Mr Raditch, Toby

In Paige’s office, the girls shitter, Hazel walks in and tells her that Spinner was way out of line with what he said. In a stall Paige is crying and tells her that it wasn’t like how she thought it was going to be. Especially her first time. She admits to Hazel that she got raped and let’s everything come out how he forced himself on top of her. Hazel being a good friend tells her that she told him no. She then says the word rape and Paige loses it, crying harder this time.

Paige, Crying

We cut back to Raditch lecturing Toby and JT about their antics and they basically forgive and forget. JT makes things right with Toby by cutting off a sleeve from his own shirt. Hopefully this stupid bullshit is over with now.

At the soccer field Hazel comes running after Paige and asks her what happened with going to the Dr after school. But Paige doesn’t want to deal with anything that happened to her. Which is understandable. Hazel goes on to point out that it wasn’t her fault, but Paige is now basically saying that is because of the way she dressed and acted like she wanted his dick. Hazel still repeats that she said no. The episode ends with Paige taking it out on Hazel and telling her that she’s fine. (She isn’t)

Hazel, Paige, To Be Continued

So this episode was alright. I guess it dealed with the subject of rape in a realistic way. Even that sounds messed up. But I can see why the JT and Toby subplot was added for some comedic relief, but all they managed to do was annoy the shit out of me. Tune in next time for the shocking conclusion to this fucked up two parter.


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Season 2, Episode 2, “When Doves Cry Part 2”

Pre-credit opener: We get a brief of JT’s shenanigans trying to get a date with Paige while we find out that new kid Craig is getting beat by his asshole dad.

We continue from the next morning with Craig checking out his badly bruised body in the mirror. At Degrassi his dad is dropping him off and he knows that he went way over board so he’s trying to pay Craig off by giving him a bunch of money so that he can buy himself a new camera. Because that’s what abusive shitheads like him do. He has the nerve to ask Craig, “No hard feelings?”

Craig, BruisedCraig, Craig's Dad

In the lunch line, JT is still scheming to get a date with Paige. That’s when Paige comes up to JT and she asks him out on a date because she’s desperate for money to fix her hair. She even tells him that it’s his treat. She leaves and Milhouse can’t believe that just happened.

Paige, Toby, JT

In the hallway Emma meets up with Craig and they start to talk about Joey. She goes on to tell him that she’s going to be babysitting Angela again after school and since his dad didn’t say anything about him not being able to see Emma, then it makes it alright. Wow that was fast, it’s after school and they pick up Angela. After much begging Emma let’s Craig take Angela to the park because she’s a little brat.

Angela, Craig

As they’re playing Angela accidentally hurts Craig because she just happened to touch one of his massive bruises. Because she’s a dumb kid, he tells her that it was a dinosaur that did it. If she saw Jurassic Park she’d know it was bullshit because he’d really be torn apart. Anyways, Craig comes up with a stupid idea of running away to British Columbia with her because he thinks he has enough money to survive, even though it’s just 300 dollars.

Uh oh Joey pulls up and he’s looking for Angela. Emma reluctantly tells him that she’s with Craig at the park. Joey get’s really annoyed with her because just like Caitlin she can’t mind her own business. At the mall Paige meets up with JT dressed like the unibomber. She just has to be a bitch about it and they go see Three Kicks to the Head Part 3.

Joey JT, Paige

Seem’s like Craig has now left the park and is getting Angela some ice cream. Again he brings up how great British Columbia is and is just about to take her to the bus station, but that’s when Joey shows up and ruins everything. After some small talk stupid Angela let’s Joey know that Craig wants to basically kidnap her and take her across the country. You can tell Craig wanted to tell her, “Shut your fucking mouth!” Joey tells him to stay away from her and Craig says that he can’t do that. All Joey does is yell at him so more.

Angela, Joey

At his house Craig is just sitting there at the table and that’s when his dad walks in. Craig goes on to tell him that the camera he wants costs a little bit more and they make some plans to eat dinner and get the one he wanted. But then Joey calls up and you just know he told his dad everything that Craig did. He can see the thunderheads in his dad’s eye and he rushes up to his room and barricades the door. While packing a bag, he calls up Sean of all people and asks him if he wants to hang out. He escapes out of a window before his dad can put him in the hospital or the fucking morgue because he was just breaking down the door with a golf club.

Craig's Dad

We go back to JT and Paige’s stupid date and I could careless about this goddamn sub plot. JT tells Paige a really stupid unfunny joke and she get’s offended because it was about cheerleaders. She then tells him her own stupid joke and JT laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. They’re interrupted by Spinner and Hazel and the both of them can’t help acting like a couple of assholes. Hazel points out that it seems like she was actually having a good time. Then not showing no social tact at all she pays Paige the money right in front of JT. JT asks her if she got paid to go out on a date with him and Paige just says, “Sue me.” What a couple of bitches.

Spinner, Hazel

Out in the industrial section of Toronto I guess Craig is telling Sean all about his dad and how he’s a surgeon that makes a shit load of money. He quickly adds that his job is pretty stressful and they fight a lot because of it. But it’s more that he takes it out on Craig. Once again he tells Sean about wanting to go to British Columbia because he has a few hundred bucks. Sean tells him that he’ll just end up on the streets and that’s when Craig suggests that they run away together. Sean having more common sense tells him that they can’t do that and besides he’s finally gotten his life together. Suddenly Sean figures out that Craig is getting abused because he asked if Sean got hit at home. Craig makes it really obvious that that’s what’s going on with him. He doesn’t get the chance to deny it because he starts to play chicken with an oncoming train. Sean tackles him off the tracks before he’s flatten and Craig just runs away like a maniac. Sean just yells, “Man what’s wrong with you?!”

Craig, Sean

At Joey’s house Emma just barges in because she doesn’t respect his privacy and tells him about Craig wanting to run away to British Columbia and that’s when Sean tells him that his dad beats him. Joey of course doesn’t believe them until Angelia tells him about the stupid dinosaur kicking the shit out of Craig on a daily basis. I swear there was a scene before this one where Sean went to Emma for help with the whole Craig thing. But I guess they deleted it for the DVD release.

Emma, Sean

Finally convinced, Joey and Sean comb the mean streets of Degrassi. While Emma stays behind to watch Manny junior, I mean Angela. She’s goes through Craig’s photo album and see’s that he’s obsessed with his dead mother. That’s when Joey calls and asks if he’s come in. Of course she says no and Joey is about to give up and that’s when she suggests checking out her grave site. (You know I just realized that his mom had to have known that his dad was abusive, possibly to her. This shit doesn’t just come out of nowhere. So going by that reasoning she basically left Craig alone to fend for himself with that fuckhead. Great parenting Julia Jeremiah!)

What do you know. That’s exactly where Craig is, hanging out at the graveyard like a huge creep. Joey tells Sean to hang back a bit while he tries to talk to him. Joey tells him that he just wants to help him and Craig shouts at him that he’s fine. Joey points out that he isn’t because he looks like a maniac. Joey brings up the train incident and Craig starts yelling at Sean saying that he’s a liar. Joey tells him to calm his ass down and Craig tells him that he has no where to go, especially back home because his dad kicks his ass. That’s when Joey confronts him about it and Craig admits that he does and that’s when he bursts into tears. They hug it out because what else can you do in a situation like that.

Craig, Crying

Back at Degrassi Paige surprisingly apologizes to JT because of how shitty she treated him last Friday night. I guess she’s not such a shitty person after all. She goes on to compliment him and tells him that he’s a good date and if he wasn’t such a huge dork, she’d probably go out with him. I’m surprised her clothes didn’t burst into flames because she just told the mother of all lies. Anyways, JT guilt’s her into giving him a kiss on the cheek. By the way, her hair still looks like shit.

Paige, JT

At Craig’s house Joey is telling Craig to not speak to his dad. He’s just to pack his shit and get the fuck out of the house. He mentions that his dad knows what’s going to happen so he’s not going to do jack shit about it unless he wants to end up in jail. Much like Kathleen’s abusive boyfriend his dad tries to guilt him into staying and tries every thing he can to manipulate him. Even comparing him to his dead mom who also left him and broke his heart. Craig then says that they have three options. He can go to Children’s Aid, go with Joey and try to figure everything out or he can stay there and let him continue to beat his ass. His dad of course denies that he does it and that seals the deal right there. The episode ends with Joey and Craig driving away from the house of abuse. I swear when this aired on the N there was a shot of Joey just looking at his dad all pissed off like he wanted to say, “You motherfucker.” But for the DVD release, it’s omitted.

Craig's Dad, Craig Craig

This was a pretty good second part to the first episode. It’s just too bad that they had to add in JT’s and Paige’s bullshit subplot. You can’t win them all.


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Season 1, Episode 15, “Jagged Little Pill”

Well here it is peeps. The season finale to the first season.

Pre-Credit Opener: Apparently Ashley and Toby are going to be left alone for the night because their parents are going to go away to Hedonism II. Her mom tells her that they’re both only allowed to have one friend over each. Her mom tells her that she’s glad that she’s so responsible and Ashley doesn’t like to hear that one bit. I don’t know why though. Like she would prefer her mom to come down on her for being a major fuck up instead.

Ashley

In Mrs Kwan’s room, she’s giving out corny awards to all of her students. At least I’m assuming that she is. Anyways, she gives one to Spinner for being a horrible, annoying student. In Snake’s class, Snake is telling everyone how much he enjoyed having them in his class. Emma being a big kiss ass shows her something on her computer and it’s a thank you message featuring not even all of the kids in the class. But just like Saved by the Bell, we only know the featured cast. Let’s see, it’s Toby without his glasses on. Brain dead kid, Asian girl with a bandanna on her head. Liberty, JT, nameless sad kid looking down, Manny, nameless girl, Sean, Emma and black dude that looks like he’s eating Emma’s pig tail. It’s hilarious to see the pic they used of Sean, he looks all pissed off. Back to Mrs Kwan’s, Ashley is disappointed again because she got the most prudish student award, or something similar.

Mr Simpson

At their lockers Paige mentions to Ashley how disappointed Jimmy will be that he won’t be able to come over because Ashley already told Terri that she’s the one friend that can come. But Jimmy doesn’t seem to give a shit, he just says, “Rules are rules right?” Which sounds lame as hell. Paige can’t help being annoying and keeps inviting herself over. Ashley not wanting to hear more of her bitching tells her to come over if she wants to. She’s such a rebel now.

Ashley, Paige, Terri

In the school foyer, JT asks Emma what they’ll be up to and Emma says that they’ll be having a girls night and no boys can come around. Especially dudes named Sean. He hears this and instantly looks heart broken. While cleaning out their lockers Toby is being completely delusional again because he thinks that Emma has now seen what a bad boy is like and that she’ll be more prone to go out with a geek with no social status like himself. JT mentions that he needs a new approach like Sean’s and he just happens to walk by when JT invites him over for a guys night. But Sean is like, “Oh hell naw!” He quickly changes his mind when JT lies to him and says that Emma’s going to be there. Which makes no sense because he just said it was a guy’s night out.

Sean, Toby, JT

Finally it’s after school and fucking Paige not listening to Ashley has now brought Hazel along to hang out with them too. You know, I’ve always hated when you invite people over for shit and then they bring someone else who you either don’t like, or you don’t know them at all. Ashley doesn’t mind though because she’s still trying to be a rebel. We then hear this big explosion coming from the kitchen and apparently JT and Toby were doing a nerd science experiment. JT see’s Paige and instantly get’s a boner for her.

Now that it’s night time, the girls are watching a horror movie in 3D. I’m just assuming that it’s Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D. Ashley hears a knock on the door and automatically assumes that Paige’s motormouth invited someone else, but she assures her that she didn’t. Turns out that it’s Sean and Ashley is very surprised that he’s there to hang out with those two dweebs upstairs. After he goes up, Paige mentions how much he’s become a fine piece of man meat after he fought Jimmy. Everyone, including Ashley laughs in agreement. Way to be loyal there Ashley.

Ashley, Paige, Terri, Hazel

In Toby’s room the three of them are having a boring evening of playing go fish. JT then asks him for his secrets in bagging a babe. But Sean after assuming that JT and Toby were the Bert and Ernie of Degrassi, just gives the typical confident guy response of just being himself. JT all proud of himself busts out some Ecstasy or simply E as they call it. JT says that it’s the love drug and mentions that the girls downstairs need it. He sounded like such a rapist right there. Sean offers to cut it up for them and he heads for the kitchen.

JT

Sean runs into Ashley and she’s shocked and appalled that he has some Ecstasy with him. He get’s some aspirin and cuts that up instead because he correctly assumes that they’re both plenty fucking stupid and they won’t know the difference. He tells her to throw that shit away, but she simply just puts it in the pocket of her old lady house coat she has on.

Back upstairs, he gives them their halves of the aspirin and explains that he can’t have some himself because his social workers makes him take drug tests and he has to take a piss in a cup in front of them about every two weeks. While he’s munching on a snack, he can’t help laughing at how stupid the two of them are.

Man, Ashley is still in the kitchen preparing these elaborate drinks and snacks for her guests. That’s when Paige walks in and she just has to mention how fucking boring the evening is, even though no one invited her. She says, “Hun, you just need to live a little, because you’re pretty cool when you do.” (I just wanna point out that Paige uses the word Hun all the time and it get’s annoying. Especially when she’s being really bitchy.) Ashley not liking being called boring decides to give in to her peer pressure and invites Jimmy and a bunch of other people over for a party. And because she’s still feeling rebellious, she takes the Ecstasy pill.

Paige, Ashley

In Toby’s room JT and Toby are acting like a couple of dumb fucks because they think they’re high. (Remember when Melanie and Kathleen did the same thing in Degrassi Junior High?) JT then takes the opportunity to call Emma, much to Sean’s excitement. Downstairs meanwhile Ashley is the one who’s now incredibly high and they all notice the change in her.

Outside, that was fast, Emma, Manny and Liberty knock on her door and Ashley for once and thanks to drugs is actually nice to Liberty for a change. They do notice how crazy she’s acting. I love the big ass head phones that Manny is rocking. Ashley then turns on the radio and starts to act like a deranged person with Liberty. It’s clear that Liberty has no rhythm.

Liberty, Manny, Ashley

Upstairs we hear this really stupid Sitar music and JT is still thinking that he’s high as fuck. Apparently he believes that if you use Ecstasy you become an east Indian Yogi with the way he’s talking to Emma and them. Case in point, “Welcome to the Issac’s zone of infinite love and harmony.” What a tool.

JT. Manny

Downstairs Jimmy and his crew walk in and Spinner for some inexplicable reason is carrying a watermelon. I know when I think of a great party, watermelons are always involved. Of course right away Jimmy notices that Ashley isn’t acting like her boring, predictable, prudish self. She slobbers in his ear that she took some Ecstasy. Now it’s Jimmy’s turn to act all shocked and appalled. She mentions that she got it from Toby and JT, throwing them under the bus. He tells her to go drink some water but she pulls away from him. She calls him dad and says that she’s going upstairs to drink some water out of the toilet. I love how none of them even bother to go up with her.

Spinner, Jimmy Ashley, Jimmy

Back in Toby’s room Sean walks in and Emma immediately leaves the room all upset. Sean tells her that he wants to talk, but she just says that he went too far. So he pushed her into the leaves, big deal. But she leaves in a huff, saying that they’re over and that’s when Ashley comes out of the bathroom wiping her mouth. Which means that she either gave someone a blow job or she did indeed drink from out of the toilet. Because Sean is the strong sensitive type, she notices that he’s now crying over googly eyed Emma. She feels so sorry for him then she takes him into her bedroom.

Emma, Sean

Inside Ashley starts going on a drug induced rant about hating how people see her and that he probably feels the same way because he’s such a bad seed. He starts to say that he thought that Emma was different and that’s when she compares her to Jimmy. Uh oh. He continues to cry and that’s when she starts to make out with him with a lot of tongue and possibly toilet water. Or worse, yuck!

Ashley, Sean

Back downstairs Jimmy tells Toby that Ashley took the Ecstasy. He quickly realizes that they’ve both been making asses out of themselves the whole evening. Toby then let’s it slip that Ashley is actually upstairs with Sean. Jimmy goes up all pissed off and just happens to see him coming out of Ashley’s room. Instead of kicking Jimmy’s ass again, because let’s face it. He would have killed him again, he just leaves. Ashley comes out looking like she’s just been freshly plowed by Sean.

Jimmy, Ashley

Outside Emma is outside crying and being dramatic. Toby comes out to apologize to her about Sean and that’s when he comes out. Just to spite him, she latches on to Toby and starts crying and hugging him at the same time. I say spite because under normal circumstances, she would never want him touching her. Toby and Sean just look at each other before Sean leaves even more sad then he was at the beginning of the episode.

Toby, Ashley

Back at the party Jimmy is demanding to know where Sean is at, but Spinner tells him that he left a while ago. Like Jimmy would have done something. That’s when Ashley goes through another drug induced rant and she basically cut’s Jimmy’s balls off by saying how much Sean is more than a man then he is. Before he can leave in anger, she mentions to him that she should have broken up with him on his birthday like she wanted to. Ouch, that had to fucking hurt! Paige not minding her own business tells her to stop acting like a hag. Ashley then goes on to say that she is the hag because of her looks and her shitty personality. Glad someone finally called her out on it, even though it is drug induced. They all leave pissed off of course, except for Terri.

Drake Paige Ashley, Terri

The next morning Ashley witnesses the aftermath of her destructive behavior. For so little people that were there, they sure trashed the place. Unless it was her acting like a maniac the whole night. Toby starts to give her shit about what she was thinking taking that shit, even though he and that asshole JT were fully planning on using it themselves. They probably figured that they would have just simply jerked each other off than do what Ashley did. Spinner comes by and brings her a shoe box full of mementos from Jimmy. She asks him how he is, but he just tells her to take it and to leave Jimmy alone because he hates her guts now. The episode ends with Ashley crying her eyes out. I swear the version that aired on the N had their parents arriving and Toby trying to do damage control. But we don’t get that with the DVD’s. Oh well, who cares.

Ashley, End Credits

This episode was ok. I guess Degrassi had to have a drug episode and this was it. At least it wasn’t the typical caffeine pill cop out that most teen shows use, including Degrassi High. But that is it with the first season. Over all, the first season had too much Toby and JT and those episodes always sucked. There were a couple of stand outs, but mainly it was a lame first season. But things do get much better in the second.


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Season 1, Episode 12, “Wannabe”

Pre-credit Opener: We see this kid who is obviously gay telling Liberty how sorry he is that he’s late for some interview. What Interview, well apparently Liberty is interviewing Paige and Hazel about starting a spirit squad, or simply put, a cheerleading squad. Liberty then asks them what they would tell someone who thinks that cheerleading is sexist. Paige and Hazel say the typical junior girl response which is get over it and that it’s actually good for people. Liberty then ends the interview at that and fucks off. Manny then comes up to Paige and tells her that she wants to join up. Paige asks her what she can do and Manny just does a couple of cartwheels and that was enough to impress Paige so Manny all cheerfully automatically makes the “Spirit Squad”.

Manny

On the Degrassi closed circuit TV Paige is on and is telling everyone that she wants to start the Spirit Squad and is telling people when to come to the gym for try outs. Right away Emma just has to give her opinion that nobody asked for. She’s all, “Give me a break? Cheerleaders?” After class is dismissed Emma is telling Manny that it seems like they’re going back in time because cheerleading is all over. But Manny schools her and tells her that Cheerleading is bigger then ever. Didn’t Emma ever see Bring It On? That movie was huge at the time, so what the fuck is she talking about? Anyways, Emma keeps saying that it’s sexiest and wrong, so right away you know that this is really Spike talking. Manny lets on that she wants to join and Emma get’s all up in her case. Emma now sounding like Kathleen from the original Degrassi says that she doesn’t think that Degrassi should have a cheer leading squad period. Man how fucking annoying is she already?

Manny, Emma

Great we come upon the comedic B plot and it involves JT and Toby eating a bunch of Pringles like a couple of maniacs. Mr Raditch spots them and asks them what they’re doing, but they just say, nothing. In the cafeteria Spinner notices that they have a shit load of empty cans on their table and of course he get’s curious. Liberty comes along eating a couple from her own can and they ask her if they can have her chip can. JT tells her all about a contest that if you find a can with the Ace of Spades and one with the Ace of Clubs then you win a million dollars. Toby tells her that they already have the Ace of Spades and the deadline is in three days. She gives them her can and what do you know. She had the Ace of Clubs. I don’t know why they think they can win it since they’re minors and therefore not eligible to win jack shit.

Liberty, JT, Toby Spinner

Else where Emma and Manny are passing by and that’s when Paige asks Manny if they could see that cartwheel again. She doesn’t want to do it at first because Emma is acting like a huge shithead. But after Paige encourages her to do it, she goes and does it and completely amazes everyone again. Hazel says that her landing could have been better and that’s when Paige says, “Better watch out Manny, sounds like Hazel is jealous.” Hazel just laughs which really means, “Haha, fuck you bitch.”

Hazel

In the girls rest room Emma is still giving Manny shit for aspiring to be a cheerleader, even the prospect of her hanging out with Paige and Hazel. Seriously, who gives a shit about cheerleading? Leave it to Emma to have a problem with it. But Manny just tells her that they are only the coolest kids in school and her hanging out with them and only being a grade 7 is a big deal. But Emma won’t let this go. She starts to say that there’s an evil bad side to cheerleading. Manny points out that she’s the only one who has a problem with it. That’s when Emma basically threaten’s to write another biased article for the Degrassi newspaper, which really pisses Manny off.

In the library, Liberty, JT and Toby are discussing splitting the money 50/50. But that’s when Spinner acting like a big goon says, “How about 45/45?” He says that he wants 10% of the money and Liberty asks him what for. That’s when Spinner tells her for protection, mainly from him. They start talking and Toby says that JT will come with the Ace of Spades the next day since it’s at his house and Spinner insists on holding onto the other can, for protection.

Spinner, Liberty

I guess it’s after school and Paige and Hazel seem to be waiting for Manny. Paige notices that she looks down and Manny tells them that Emma is taking the whole cheerleading is sexiest thing way too far and I’m inclined to agree. Paige wants to know how far and stupid Manny tells her that she’s thinking of writing an article for the Grapevine. Paige and Hazel don’t like this news at all. I don’t know why they’re worried for though, like anyone is going to care or agree with anything that Emma has to say. Paige then suggests that they all hang out and off they go to Manny’s.

The next scene they’re in her bed room and of course they’re talking about boys. Paige says that they shouldn’t be talking about boys that way because Emma would find it sexiest, which is so fucking true. That’s when you know who calls. Paige tells Manny to make damn sure that Emma doesn’t write her stupid opinion piece. Emma asks her where the hell she’s at since she was supposed to come over to study. Manny makes up a horrible excuse and that’s when Emma hears Paige talking shit about her. Emma must have dog ears because Paige was no where near the phone and she still picked up on her shitty remark. Of course this pisses her off and she hangs up all rudely.

Hazel, Paige, Manny

We cut to JT’s room and the place is a fucking pigsty. He’s going crazy looking for the can that he obviously lost. The next day at Degrassi it seems like cheerleading practice is already happening, that or it’s try outs. I gotta point out that there’s a number of dudes there, so I don’t know what Emma is talking about the whole sexiest thing. Hazel wants to show them a new move called a toe touch and she simply just raises her leg and touches her foot with her hand. Paige being a big shit starter tells her that she’s sure that Manny could do it better. Hazel makes a bitch I’m going to fuck you up face but says nothing else. Manny does it too, and then adds doing the splits. Meanwhile Emma is behind her in the doorway watching all this unfold with hatred and jealousy in her eyes. Man Emma is being such a bitch in this episode.

Emma. Manny

In the Media Immersion class Liberty is wearing some God awful red cowboy boots. I don’t know why she thinks that’s a cool look, but anyways, she’s sporting them because she thinks she’s going to be rolling in the dough. Emma then barges in with her shitty opinion please and begs Liberty to include it in the latest issue of the Grapevine. Liberty reads the beginning of the article and says how fucking harsh it is. She then points out how weird it is that she’s doing this article knowing full well that her best friend Manny is joining it. But Emma all self righteous says that Manny is becoming a phony person.

Paige, Manny and Hazel come out of guess where? The restroom of course and they see Emma passing by. Paige says, “Oh look it’s little Miss Save the World.” Emma retorts with, “It’s little Miss Plastic, shouldn’t you be testing your make up on animals?” What kind of shit is that to say? That was Liz and Caitlin all rolled into one with that statement. Emma all proud of herself shows her a copy of the article that she wrote and Paige reads it all pissed off. Manny reads it and says, “Nice Emma, so I’m a bimbo too?” And then crumples it up and throws it away at her feet.

Manny, Paige

Back in the girls jon, Emma walks in all angry and Manny confronts her for the article that she wrote. But Emma throws in her face that they’ve been friends since Kindergarten and now Manny wants to drop her like a slab of meat from Rocky just because Paige is talking to her. Manny get’s equally pissed off and says that she just wants to cheer lead and what’s wrong if she becomes friends with Paige in the process. But Emma being a hater says that Paige is just using her. Manny really burns her by pointing out and saying that the difference between her and Paige is that Paige is fun while Emma is boring as hell. That sure got to her. Looking like she wants to cry she says to her, “Well I sure hope you and Paige have fun together. Just don’t come crying to me when she stabs a knife in your back.” Manny just tells her to fuck off.

Oh God, I don’t give a motherfuck about this stupid plot with the chip can. Toby’s in the Media Immersion class giving away his Sega Game Gear to some random girl saying, “Don’t worry, I can afford it.” What a fucking idiot I swear. JT all in a panic tells him what he’s doing and Toby all full of himself says that it was cheap and that he’s now going to upgrade his whole geek electronic system. JT then tells him that he lost the can and Toby goes insane with regret on what he just gave away.

Toby

In the hallway Manny see’s Paige and Hazel taking all of the copies of the Grapevine and taking it with them to the gym. Right away we see that they’re tearing out Emma’s article out of every single issue. Paige tells Manny that Emma’s article is going to really hurt them and no one’s going to want to join. But like I said before, no one cares about what Emma thinks and no one would listen to her. Especially since a lot of girls like Cheerleading. She hands one to Manny and tells her to prove how much she wants to be in the spirit squad by helping them rip the articles out of it. Manny does it and now feels completely guilty.

Paige, Hazel Manny, Tearing Paper

Outside Toby is having a panic attack. Liberty and Spinner come upon them and she tells JT that he better find the can or else she’ll sue him. Get the fuck out of here with that shit Liberty! Toby asks Spinner what he’s doing there, but Liberty tells them that if JT doesn’t find the can then Spinner is going to beat the shit out of him. JT then remembers that the can is most likely in his locker. They open it up and his locker it’s just like his bed room, a big disgusting mess. They find the can and Spinner says, “You moron! They’re both Clubs!” Spinner just leaves all disgusted at them while Toby and Liberty stuff JT into his locker. Thank God this stupid subplot is over with.

JT, Toby, Liberty

In the Media Immersion class Paige and the gay kid named Oscar are going over designs for their cheerleading outfits, but they’re interrupted by Snake and Emma. Right away we know that Emma is accusing them of tearing out the article but Paige plays dumb of course. Snake then tells Paige that they have no proof that she did it, but if they find out, she can get suspended. Manny racked with guilt is about to confess to the crime and that’s when Paige completely fucks Hazel over and tells Snake that she was around the newspaper racks at the time. Snake over doing it says that it’s shit like that that makes the school not want to have any extracurricular activities at all. Oh fuck you Snake, like you never did anything wrong when you were that age.

Snake

At Manny’s locker Manny asks Paige why she backstabbed Hazel like that and Paige says that she did it to look out for her. Manny says not to do it if it means that she’s going to be dragged into her bullshit too. That’s when Paige threatens her and that she’ll tell the authorities that Manny was the one who really ripped all the pages from the newspaper. Paige says, “Who do you think they’ll believe, me or you?” Manny once again get’s pissed off and calls her bluff by saying, “Let’s go find out.” And starts to walk away, but that’s when Paige stops her and asks what her “damage” is. Manny tells her that she’s the problem and if she wants to spread rumors about her or deface her locker to just try it. She then punks her out some more and get’s all in her face. Paige backs away cause she knew that Manny is about five seconds away from fucking her up. All Paige can think to say is, “FYI your attitude sucks! Good luck making the squad.” Behind them Emma has this shit eating grin on her face.

Manny, Pissed

Outside Manny’s house Emma comes by and apologizes for being such a shithead all episode long. Manny tells her that all she wanted to do was have fun, but then Paige took an interest in her and that’s when things started to suck. Emma asks her what she’s going to do and Manny says that she’s going to give it up since Paige is a hateful bitch. But Emma tells her that Paige isn’t stupid enough to cut her since Manny is really good at it. Emma then tells her that she loved how Manny told Paige off saying, “I couldn’t have said it better myself.” Manny just smiles and you can tell that they’re best friends again.

Manny, Emma, End Credits

I would say this was an ok episode. Emma was just a huge annoying pain in the ass. Paige of course showed what an evil bitch she really is. The low point definitely was the stupid Pringle winning can plot. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, any episode that features too much Toby is a bad one.