Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 2, Episode 18, “Dressed In Black”

So this one is a good one. I’ve noticed that all the episodes that have to do with the older cast members are of better quality. All the underclassmen focused episodes are completely shitty, unless it’s a Sean episode.

Pre-credit opener: Jimmy and Ashley are hanging out in her dark room and she’s subjecting him to all of her shitty emo music. You can tell Drake wants to rap his way out of there. But he’s fucked because Ashley is his girlfriend again, and he’s forced to listen and lie to her that her music is good. It isn’t. Ashley’s music sucks so bad. She goes on about connecting with him on an emotional level, but you can tell that he’s already clocked out of that relationship.

Ashley, Jimmy

The next day Jimmy runs into Ashley and shows her last years year book. He makes her sign the goddamn thing and she goes on about looking awful the previous year. That’s when resident Degrassi Haley Joel Osment look alike Sully makes his first appearance. He talks shit about Ashley being a freak and Jimmy of course doesn’t beat the shit out of him for her honor. But then again, Jimmy is a big puss who get’s his ass kicked all the time.

Oh great, we come upon JT and Toby and JT is way too excited about Dr Sally coming in again to give her sex pep talk. He must be really hard up if he’s excited to hear her sex stories. Not even Toby is hoping for porn in that case. But he’s disappointed to hear that Coach Armstrong is going to be giving the sex lecture due to Dr Sally hurting her hip during a really intense geriatric sex session. Coach Armstrong starts to talk about Abstinence being the best thing to practice. Manny asks him what it means and he tells her that it’s best not to bone. Something that Manny won’t listen to in later seasons. Anyways, JT playing with a condom accidentally launches it and it lands on Armstrong’s back and hilarity ensues.

JT, Armstrong, Condom

We cut to Ms Kwan’s class and she’s giving out an assignment. Which is to act out a scene from Bill Shakespeare’s immortal classic, The Taming Of The Shrew. At least this assignment is at related to English class. Last time she had them doing some shit that had nothing to do with the subject. Ashley is disappointed that Jimmy is paired with Hazel, while she get’s stuck with Craig.

Outside of class Craig has a leaf crown. He’s been hit so hard by his dad, he now thinks he’s Julius Caesar. They both come up with doing a really depressing emo version of the scene they’re supposed to do. You can tell that she likes it that he thought the same thing.

Craig, Ashley

During lunch, Toby tells JT that he’s confused on when one should buy condoms. JT tells him that there’s no time like the present. But what he really should have told him was that there is no chance in hell that Toby is ever, ever going to get laid. But this being Degrassi, it recycles another plot from Degrassi Junior High and it’s the time when Joey and Wheels went to go buy condoms.

Back inside the school Ashley runs into Jimmy at his locker and she spots a picture of her from the last season and tells him to burn it. Man she’s so dark! She invites him home for dinner that night and you can tell that he really doesn’t want to go. Hey, I’ve been there before. It sucks.

Ashley, Jimmy, Hallway

We cut back to Toby and JT and they’ve picked out a box of Magnum condoms. Yeah right. Both of their dicks combined wouldn’t fill out that thing. Toby obviously being a Star Wars fan picks out some glow in the dark condoms and they have themselves a little mock lightsaber fight with some canes. As they’re going to check out to buy the condoms JT makes an ass of himself by asking the clerk for her phone number. The stocker behind him is so disgusted, he can’t help making a face.

JT, Toby

Finally, it’s the big dinner scene and Ashley starts going on about how kids should be educated on sex and should be given condoms. This starts out a big debate on the dinner table and she totally puts Jimmy on the spot on what he thinks. I fucking hate it when people pull that shit. Instead of telling her that he wants to keep out of this messed up family discussion, he tells her that he sides with Toby’s dad that it gives out a bad message to kids. She get’s all pissed off at him for reluctantly giving his answer. I swear, you can’t win with people like her.

Jimmy, Ashley

Back at Degrassi, Toby being a big puss gives JT the condoms to hold in his locker, saying that they’re his problem since he made him buy them. Spinner, Emma and Manny just happen to come along and Spinner sounds completely retarded trying to say lines from the play, so JT just can’t resist pointing out how stupid he sounds. At that he shoves JT into the locker and the condoms come tumbling out. Right away everyone figures out that they’re Toby’s. Spinner get’s so enraged that he vows to rip his balls off.

In the hallway, Ashley get’s Craig to take a pic of her with this gigantic Polaroid camera. Jimmy comes along and tapes it right next to her old picture, disappointing her even more. She get’s all pissed off about it and finally Jimmy admits to her that he likes the old, non scary, not so uptight Ashley.

Now Ashley is having an identity crisis. She wants to stay Goth, but at the same time she wants to please Jimmy. What’s a girl to do? Yup, she tries to please Jimmy and goes to school dressed normal, but of course now she’s all uncomfortable. Especially with a couple of skank’s making fun of her. Ellie comes along and can’t hide her disdain. But it’s not like Ashley was being original or herself either. She was just copying Ellie’s style. Jimmy comes along and he’s happier than a pig in shit that she’s no longer dressed like Winona Ryder was in Beetlejuice. My opinion is that she looks better non goth.

Ashley, Non Goth

In the MI class Toby and JT are terrified of Spinner. Spinner seems to have either made a website or a really elaborate email. It describes and has an animated gif about how he’s going to decapitate Toby and shit down his neck. But I doubt Spinner could come up with such complicated graphics since he is a big dummy. Toby runs when he see’s that Spinner is directly behind him. Just as he thinks he’s getting away he runs into Kendra and she man handles him and slams him against the lockers. She yells at him and asks, “How old am I?” Toby says 12 and she says, “That’s right! This relationship is never getting past talking about Cowboy Bebop!!”

Toby, Kendra

Outside Ashley is hanging out with Paige and her crew. They’re talking about some idiotic commercial and Terri tells her that they’ll get her back in the loop of things. I guess the loop of things is talking about stupid bullshit. Paige tells her that the goth look was actually working for her and asks why she reverted back to her boring self. Ashley just mumbles something and walks away. I gotta say, she does look out of place hanging out with them.

Hazel, Terri, Paige, Ashley

Out in the Degrassi haunted forest, Craig is waiting for Ashley so they can rehearse their scene. He acts all shocked that she actually looks decent, maybe a bit butch, but still feminine. Anyways, Craig tells Ashley exactly what she wants to hear from Jimmy, which is if someone really loves you, they’ll accept everything about you. Even the fucked up annoying parts. And that ladies and gentlemen is how you weasel yourself into a sad girls pants.

In the next scene Spinner grabs Toby and tells him that his ass is grass. But instead of just beating the shit out of him, he lets Toby tell him the reason why he bought the rubbers to begin with which is that he really likes his sister and if he porked her, he wanted to take care of her. Seems like Spinner was so touched it made his asshole clench and instantly forgives Toby. Kind of the whole Martha thing in Batman V Superman. But then Toby does a dickhead move and tells him that it was JT’s idea to buy the condoms, so now JT is in deep shit.

Toby, Spinner

Finally it’s time for everyone’s scenes and Jimmy and Hazel are dressed like a football player and cheerleader. They have everyone laughing for some reason. Up next is Craig and Ashley and yeah, their scene is real messed up. Craig seems to be channeling his dad and it seems like he’s going to fuck Ashley up. Shit, he even resembles his dad. Everyone is in complete shock. Marco starts crying, telling them to stop because Ashley’s already dead.

Ashley, Craig

In the hallway Spinner brings Toby into a room and see’s that JT has been tied up and is wearing a bunch of prophylactics. To humiliate JT even more, Spinner turns off the lights and now the condoms start to glow. Yeah, pretty unfunny and doesn’t even warrant a screen shot.

At Drake’s locker, Ashley comes up to him dressed all in black again (Hey, that’s the name of the episode!) and hands him a note. Basically she breaks up with him because he was trying to change her. The funny thing is, in the next season she’s going to change her look and no one is going to give two fucks about it. He should have told her that she’s just going through a phase. Might I point out that she’s the one broken up about it, meanwhile Jimmy is waiting for her to turn the corner so he can break dance, since he’s so happy that he’s finally gotten rid of his downer of a girlfriend.

Ashley, End Credits

So yeah, even though JT and Toby were kind of ruining this episode. I still enjoyed it. I guess I like bullshit drama and baby, whenever Ashley is involved, there’s always bullshit drama.

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Season 2, Episode 15, “Hot For Teacher”

Right off the bat I’m just going to say that I fucking hate this episode. It’s so juvenile and ridiculous. Mrs Hot Body is featured through out, but not even she could save this stinker of an episode.

Pre-Credit Opener: Mrs Hot Body is talking about God knows what and JT is already annoying the shit out of me by acting like a stupid asshole. He starts to play with these skeleton elephant models and she comes up and tells him to stop acting like a jackass and that he now has detention with her, before and after school. He says ok and is happier than a pig a shit. He then burns a hole in her ass because he’s staring so hard. I have to say, I can’t blame him.

JT

I wonder if they’re trying to pay tribute or if the writers are just hoping that kids won’t know that they just ripped off a shot from The Graduate. Anyways, Mrs Hot Body looks smoking hot in the little outfit she has on and JT being a walking hard on is happy to be all alone in her presence. He just can’t help staring at her tits and then he tries the old, you dropped your pen on the ground bit, but she’s not having it. Turns out JT’s job is to take care of a couple of Guinea Pigs.

JT, The Gradute Ripoff Shot

In Snake’s class, Sean is all hard up for all the horny details on how it was like to be all alone with Mrs Big Tits. He must be extra hard up if he’s believing any of JT’s bullshit. Which includes her bending over to pick up his pen. Snake does the exact same thing and it’s very disturbing to watch.

JT, Snake

We come to the B plot of this episode and it involves Spinner. He’s talking to Coach Armstrong about this really hard math problem and right away Armstrong wants to vomit due to Spinner’s nasty pits smelling like death. Spinner heads back to his seat and is just B.O. dusting everyone with his stench. Ashley asks Ellie if it’s Spinner who stinks and so Ellie takes it upon herself to tell him that he does indeed smell like sweaty balls. She’s all, “Rule number one of puberty, shower everyday.” If I was him I would have told her fuck you and then die of embarrassment.

Spinner, Ashley, Ellie

Outside class, Spinner comes up to Jimmy and asks him if he really does stink and Jimmy confirms that he’s stunk all week long. At that Spinner get’s pissed off at him for not being honest and wants an honest pact between them. We come upon a scene where Toby tells Emma and Manny that JT’s new girlfriend is Mrs Hot Body, but of course they don’t believe him. My God, I am seriously hating this episode right now!

Thankfully we go to Ashley who is acting a lot like Claude from Degrassi High and is reciting the most depressing dark story ever. The only one who seems to dig it is Ellie, everyone else is all, “What the fuck was that?” Spinner urges Jimmy to be honest since they made an honesty pack, but I don’t remember Jimmy agreeing to it. Anyways, he says that the story blew goats for quarters and it sounded like a suicide note. Ashley gets all pissed off, looks at him with hatred in her eyes and calls him at conformist. But couldn’t you argue that Ashley is one too? She is copying Ellie’s Goth style and attitude.

Ashley

In the Hallway Mrs Hot Ass calls JT into her class and says that she wants to show him something. Sean makes a face like JT is about to enter Mrs H’s love cave. But of course she just called him in there to say that one of the Guinea Pigs is pregnant. In the computer room, Emma see’s that JT is actually online during his lunch hour and since he’s in lust with Mrs H, he wants to know everything about Guinea Pigs. Except retard doesn’t know how to spell it so he’s at a lost until Emma corrects his spelling.

Sean, Mrs Hatzilakos, JT

Speaking of Mrs H, we cut to her science room and she’s doing a science experiment with balloons. They’re trying to say that thanks to Manny’s mane, that the balloons are floating due to static electricity or something like that, but you can clearly see the strings holding the balloons up. They should have hired Mr Wizard to get that shit to work. Coach Armstrong comes in and they go talk in the hallway. Toby and Sean make fun of him by saying that Armstrong is boning her, but please. JT could never get a woman like her. Him getting the Guinea Pig pregnant sounds more plausible. But JT takes this as the time to put two balloons like they’re her big tits and then Toby motorboats him and get’s a boner. She comes back in and is beyond hurt by JT’s antics. But I don’t know why she cares what an asshole like JT thinks of her.

Mrs HatzilakosToby, JT, Sean

It’s a new day and Ashley comes along and actually thanks him for being truthful about her shitty suicidal story. She says, “I like this new Jimmy.” But he hasn’t actually changed his personality at all. Spinner then takes this as an opportunity to say that he and Ashley getting back together is the worst idea in the history of ever. He goes on to basically say that Jimmy is Ashley’s bitch whenever they’re a couple.

In the zen garden, Mrs H is sitting there listening to some Yanni and JT comes along and tries to apologize to her. She just says whatever and he asks her what else does she want. I was assuming that she was going to say that she hates it that most guys only see her as a hot piece of ass. But she takes the time to basically say that JT is a massive tool and that she’s sick and tired of him acting like a jackass all the time. I guess she’s happy being a sex object. JT probably wanting to hurt her says that he’s transferring out of her class, but she could give two fucks if he leaves or not.

Mrs Hatzilakos, JT

After school, Terri see’s that Jimmy is working on a honesty list for Spinner and it’s just pointing out all of his faults. Which is hilarious. Terri starts to say that this is a horrible idea. But Drake get’s so annoyed with her that he threatens to make a Terri list. I’m sure her Satanist past would have gotten in there.
Jimmy's List

We finally come towards the end of the episode and the stupid guinea pig get’s loose and Mrs H and JT get into a chase with the stupid rat. (Is a Guinea Pig considered a rodent? Eh, who cares?!) It finds a hole in the wall and in it goes. JT cares way too much when Mrs Hot Bod tells him that the janitor conveniently spread rat poison all over the school. If I were him I would have said, “Oh well she’s fucked, see you tomorrow!”

As all the Degrassi kids are leaving, Spinner and Jimmy are just telling each other everything that annoys them. Spinner says that Jimmy has a shiny forehead. Is that racist? Anyways, their faults are hilarious to me.

To cut my torture I’ll just summarize. JT turns down the lights and puts on some soft music. He read an article that Guinea Pigs love that shit, but I think he was also hoping to seduce Mrs H. Who can blame him? I think we’ve all had at least one teacher that we wanted to fuck. I know I did. Anyways, the Guinea Pig comes out just in the nick of time and has her litter.

JT, Mrs Hatzilakos

The next day Spinner and Jimmy are still pissed off at each other and they realize that telling the truth is for the birds. They get a laugh out of Mrs Kwan having a bunch of ink all over her mouth. I would have just assumed that she was blowing an octopus.

Jimmy, Ashley, Spinner Mrs Kwan

Thank God, the episode ends with JT telling Sean and Toby about the stupid Guinea Pigs being born. For some reason they were disappointed that his story didn’t lead to Mrs Hot Piece devouring JT sexually.

JT, End Credits

So yeah, this episode sucked. They should never give the lead story to the younger cast members because they’re story lines are always the worst. Yick, Arthur, I’m looking at you when I reviewed Degrassi Junior High! The only good thing about it was the whole Jimmy and Spinner truth plot. We at least had some eye candy with Mrs Hatzilakos, but even she couldn’t save this turd. This episode is definitely the low point for the season.


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Season 2, Episode 11, “Don’t Believe The Hype”

Now I don’t remember watching this one when The N was airing the show. Maybe it was too controversial because it has to do with hate crimes against Muslims, plus 9/11 had barely happened 2 years before I think. So maybe they thought it was too much to take for American audiences. Way to puss out The N!

Pre-credit opener: Hazel and Terri are at their lockers discussing what dish they should bring for international day. Terri thinks she should bring some Haggis. Hazel clearly disgusted points out that it’s just full of sheep guts. Paige comes along and gives Hazel a ticket for being a fashion victim. Just then this girl named Fareeza comes along and we can tell right away that she’s a Muslim because of the head scarf she has on. Terri wonders out loud, “Do you think they’re bald under there?” Ashley get’s all offended and points out to Terri what a shitty thing that was to say. But oh it’s get’s worse. Hazel stops her and says that she’s under arrest for “terrorist chic.” Fareeza all pissed off rolls it up to a ball and throws it away. Not only is she a terrorist, she’s a litter bug! I’m just kidding with that, so don’t be sending me angry comments. But even Paige being a major bitch is shocked at what Hazel just did. Yup, it’s going to be a special episode of Degrassi. Even though most of them are, or at least the writers think they are.

Fareeza Hazel

In the MI room Snake comes along and takes away Spinner and Jimmy’s hacky sack away from them. Why? Because he’s a dick still. He reminds everyone about how it’s going to be international day and Spinner tells him that he doesn’t have a culture. Snake says that it’s bullshit and that everyone has something ethnic about them. It’s obvious that Hazel has a real issue with International day and doesn’t want to participate. Paige wonders why she hasn’t even bothered starting yet, let alone being invited to her house.

Oh lord we come to the B plot and I knew it was going to involve Toby or JT. Luckily for all of us we get stuck with JT in this episode. Liberty comes along and she fucking sucks at sewing things together. JT meanwhile seems to be a professional seamstress. No way did he do that, it looks store bought. Toby and Sean come in the class and Sean complains about how much the class sucks because it’s for girls. Then why did you sign up for it then, cause I’m assuming it’s an elective. Anyways Liberty points out how good JT’s project is and Sean calls him “Gay T.” I admit, I laughed my ass off at that. Good one Sean. We then get the old sitcom device of a misunderstanding. JT takes Liberty’s project and calls it his own. The teacher now thinks that Liberty is a seamstress genius.

JT

In the hallway Spinner is telling Drake how he asked his mom where his family came from and she pointed to a globe and said he was from Earth. I can totally relate to that. My dad would be just as helpful about his family line because he doesn’t give a shit. Glad I never had to do such a project in school because I’d be so boned. Paige is telling Hazel all about her Ukrainian outfit that she has planned but Hazel is dead set about international day. It doesn’t take a genius to already know that she’s ashamed of where she’s from. It’s hilarious how Paige just assumes that Hazel is from Jamaica. To make the point we get this lame Jamaican music cue as the scene changes.

Outside Liberty is begging JT for some help because she has to make a skirt now. JT says that he doesn’t care about her problem and neither do I. Of course she black mails him and now he’s stuck having to do her project.

Ok, stop it Degrassi, we get another Jamaican cue and Hazel is going to a Jamaican restaurant to get some jerk chicken to show her class the real Jamaica. As the guy is giving her the chicken for her project he points out to her that she’s not Jamaican. This guy is way too fucking nice. He gives her a discount on a large order of chicken and gives her a poster of Jamaica.

Hazel, Old Man

Finally it’s International day and Spinner is dressed like a cowboy for some reason. He gives Snake a pizza with Polish, Italian and Russian sausage. Snake wants to immediately throw up though because dumbass barely cooked it. So it’s safe to assume that Snake is now dying of Salmonella poisoning. Mr Raditch meanwhile is fighting against getting a boner and trying not to look at Paige’s body because of her slutty version of her Ukrainian costume. Hazel get’s some high marks for her chicken and Snake points out that it’s just as good as the Jamaican place he lives near by. Yeah, of course he just happens to live near the place.

Snake, Spinner, Drake Mr Raditch, Paige

It’s lunch time and Fareeza decides to confront Hazel. The way she looks and talks, I thought it was Lani Billard who played Busy in Ready or Not. But Busy is around my age and she would have been too old for this already. Anyways, Fareeza points out to Hazel how her last name sounds like it’s more from Somalia, she even points out how she even looks Somalian. Hazel tells her to fuck off and to mind her own goddamn business before Jamaica nukes Iraq. Oh God, JT and Liberty are working on the project and JT is showing her his magic. He goes on to say that his mom is a seamstress and that’s where he got his mad skills. I’m convinced that he is gay now.

Hazel, Fareeza

As the students are walking in to the gym again they’re all in shock to see that someone defaced Fareeza’s project on Iraq. Even writing Terrorist across her damn board. Did 9/11 really create this kind of hatred in Canada too? How interesting.

Terrorist

Back in the MI class Fareeza is in tears talking to the police and Mr Raditch. Snake is outraged at this heinous act and says that a hate crime was committed. He says that for now International day and all classes are on hold. Me being an asshole I would be all too happy to hear this news. Terri blurts out that none of them did it and that none of them are like that. That’s when Ashley decides to be a shit head and calls her out on what she said about Muslims earlier. Fuck off Ashley. I hate shit starters like her. Spinner goes on to point out how people are scared and what does she expect. Jimmy tells everyone about a neighbor who has had his bank account frozen a few times because his name just happens to be Osama. Ah the times when people were really paranoid of Muslims and terrorist attacks. Actually that shit has gotten worse, especially here.

Ashley

Here we get a montage of different class rooms talking about what happened. Toby just says, “Come on Sean, it’s hate!” I rolled my eyes so hard I now need surgery. Then he goes on to mention the Holocaust and if he was around at the time he and Gilbert Gottfried would have been the first one’s thrown into an oven. Kendra goes on to point out that she’s Asian and her family are white people. So she’s proof that different races can get along. Spinner saying what people really think says that he doesn’t want to be blown out of the sky from some terrorist. Ashley just can’t help being all judgmental towards everyone who disagrees with her. Can you all sense that Degrassi wanted to start a dialog with kids back in the day? It’s so damn preachy though.

Toby

Uh oh, Hazel seems to be in deep shit because Raditch has now called her up to his office. Turns out that Hazel is the prime suspect because of how shitty she treated Fareeza the whole episode. Hazel goes on to say that she can’t stand Fareeza because she’s a shit head. But that she would never do something like that to her display. Raditch get’s a call and then tells them that they caught who did it. Turns out it was two guys in grade 10. If I was Hazel I would demand a fucking apology from Raditch for being quick to lay blame. Instead he lectures her some more and tells her that her harassment was still a fucked up thing to do. So Hazel still loses in this.

In the Home Ec class Liberty admits to everyone that JT is the real genius and everyone is surprised to learn that JT isn’t completely retarded. Of course Sean and Toby make fun of him until JT get’s surrounded by all the Degrassi women who want to pay him to make them custom pants. He’s charging up the ass for them, so it seems like JT has the last laugh here. Especially since that little horn dog get’s to measure their bodies.

JT, Manny, Emma

So here we come to the heart to heart scene of the episode. It turns out that Fareeza was completely spot on about everything Hazel. Turns out that she is a skinny and at her last school Hazel was hella harassed for being a Muslim and her head scarf. Fareeza not even having one trace of compassion for her doesn’t give a shit about what happened or for her tears.

Hazel, Crying

In Snake’s class Hazel gives everyone a presentation and admits that she’s from Somalia and they came to Canada because of the civil war there. Terri not even waiting for her to finish talking interrupts and asks her why she doesn’t wear the head scarf thing. Hazel says what it is and that it’s a choice if she wants to wear it or not. Funny, I always assumed that it wasn’t a choice. But Degrassi says so, so it must be true. The episode ends with Hazel telling everyone like in X-Men First class, “Muslim and proud.”

Hazel, End Credits

For this being Hazel’s one and only episode, I think it was a good one. We finally got to see what makes a minor character tick. But this episode was so goddamn preachy too. The lesson is kids, be tolerant. Funny how it was never mentioned again that she was a Muslim. Degrassi sure ran away from that issue real fast.


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Season 2, Episode 9, “Mirror In The Bathroom”

So what I hear is that a lot of people hate this episode and who can blame them because it stars Toby in it. I have a feeling this one is going to be a real chore to write out.

Pre-credit opener: We see Liberty doing the school announcements congratulating Milhouse on a job well done competing and winning first place in the Canadian computer nerd Olympics. Oh shit, not even first place, it was third. See he’s such a loser that even in a competition amongst nerds he still can’t win. But I love how he’s looking around for people’s reaction but it’s clear that no one gives two fuck about him or his feat. He get’s even more disappointed when Sean get’s all the praise for being that month’s Degrassi sports MVP. It’s hilarious to see his generic jacket that just says Wrestling on the back. It’s like John Belushi’s now iconic sweater from Animal House that just said College. But I doubt the Degrassi writers are that clever.

Sean Toby

In Mrs H’s biology room he asks her if everything about them is decided through their DNA. She explains that eye color is, and the fact that she’s sexy as hell, but everything else is all them. He’s even more depressed now because being the class dip shit was all his doing. JT tries to reassure him that being a huge nerd isn’t a big deal but Milhouse is determined to change that aspect of himself, so he decides to go out for the wrestling team.

Toby, Mrs H

Out on the quad Spinner is saying how impressed he is by Terri’s new flip phone because it has wireless access, email and a GPS. Which still makes that phone very wack because it seems like it has a green screen. Paige and Hazel come along and demand to know where she got the money to buy a brand new phone and a new bag and coat. She just says that her dad made some extra money and that’s when Paige says, “What did he rob a bank?” Spinner tells her to leave her the fuck alone already and to mind her one business. But she’s determined to know because she’s nosy as hell and her guess is that Terri is shoplifting all her new swag.

Terri

In the cafeteria JT is telling Milhouse the same thing I was was thinking that if he tries out for the wrestling team than he’s going to get murdered. Toby figures that if he trains hard enough that he’ll get into shape in order to kick some ass. But come on, let’s get realistic here. He couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if his life depended on it. Ashley comes along and it’s now the look that she’s going to have the rest of the season, dark and very short hair. Toby calls her a vampire and says that he won’t be home because of wrestling practice. Even Ashley being all emo can’t help laughing at his puny ass.

It seems like it’s a new day and Terri and the girls are hanging out on the steps and that’s when Spinner walks in and asks her why didn’t she tell them. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he takes them outside to look at something. They get to a bus stop and holy shit. Terri is in an ad campaign for a plus size clothing line called More Grrrl. What a name. Terri tells them that she didn’t want to tell them about it because of her weight again. And to make her point some kid who I’ll name Sabu comes along and starts making fun of her asking her if the photographer used a wide angle lens. Everyone defends her, but Terri still feels bad because of that asshole.

Terri, Sabu

Milhouse walks in for the try outs and is immediately intimated by Sean choking out Sabu on the floor. Coach Armstrong starts to weigh them for their weight classes and this black nerd totally wants to wrestle Milhouse because he knows that he can take him. But Armstrong says that they’re in different weight classes and Milhouse is going to be paired off with Sean. This is literally the battle between the eye brows and it’s over in about 2 seconds. So pathetic.

Sean, Toby

In the MI class JT tells Toby about some wrestling website that he just happened to find. The point of this boring scene is that making weight is bad for you. Very, very bad and in true Degrassi fashion Toby is going to have to learn this lesson the hard way. Too bad we have to witness it.

We then go into a training montage with JT helping Toby lose weight. I bet this is the first time that Milhouse has actually done something physical outside of gym class. We should have heard You’re the Best Around from the Karate Kid during this scene, but I’m more than sure that Degrassi couldn’t afford it. Anyways, Toby runs around with a garbage bag around him because I’m guessing it’s supposed to make him sweat. He should have watched the classic 80’s wrestling movie Vision Quest to see how making weight is really accomplished, but I’m convinced that Toby would have seriously died. Toby starts to complain that in three days he’s only lost about 1 pound. JT decides to take Toby to the local Degrassi mini mart for a drink and that’s when Toby spots some ex lax. So of course he has the great idea that he’ll shit out the rest of the pounds.

JT, Toby

The next day of school Toby is obviously starving from not eating and is ready to be weighed again. Coach Armstrong notices the big drop in weight. Not really, just about five pounds, but he warns him that if he’s caught making weight then he’ll be cut from the team. But who cares. Toby dropped enough to wrestle the little black dweeb and unbelievably beats him. I never thought that Toby could over power anyone, but he did. So he’s now on the team.

At their house Ashley calls Toby Jockstrap and says that there are two giant chocolate muffins just waiting for his pudgy ass to devour. But since he wants to keep the weight off he decides to skip them and his breakfast. She points out that he’s been skipping his meals for days now. True to his fashion he acts like a complete dick and calls her a vampire again.

Ashley

In the Degrassi lobby Sabu is telling Toby that now that he’s on the team he get’s his own cheap generic windbreaker of his very own. Toby is beyond ecstatic at this point. Especially since it seems like this would be girlfriend Kendra just loves that he’s sort of a jock. It doesn’t last long though and he annoys the shit out of her and the new wheel chair girl. JT comes along and points out what a giant wannabe douche bag Toby is acting now. Toby acts like a dick towards him too and says that he’s just jealous because he’s just the mascot.

Kendra, Wheelchair

In the MI class Hazel asks Terri when her next photoshoot is and she says that very day, but she’s not going to go because she’s so goddamn insecure about her weight. Paige get’s all annoyed with her because she wants to back out of it because of what Sabu said.

Oh God! We get it Degrassi writers! One thing about Degrassi is that they always manage to cram their message down our throats. Even when we get the picture. Toby is all dizzy because he’s not eating and Ashley comes along giving him even more shit about it.  Toby orders a bunch of food just to get her off his back and the food looks nasty as hell.

Toby, Ashley

And of course the next scene is in the boys laboratory and Toby throws his lunch up. JT just happens to walk in and hears him yacking in the stall. Ashley comes along and tells JT that she’s worried about Toby. JT mentions that he’s been acting all crabby and that’s when she mentions that she’s pretty sure that he has an eating disorder. JT tells her that that’s only girl stuff but she points out to him that guys can get it too. So after school special here! We get more evidence of Toby not being well and even Snake notices that he looks like complete shit.

Spinner comes along and he hears Terri canceling her photoshoot. She tells him that she’s through with the plus size modeling gig because she hates her body. Spinner for once not being a fucking asshole tells her that she really is beautiful and that a lot of guys like a girl with some extra meat on them. He goes on to say that she shouldn’t listen to guys who put her down. I saw Christina Schmidt, the actress who plays Terri on Instagram and she is finer than a motherfucker. I know that has nothing to do with the story, just saying.

Terri, Spinner

Finally it’s time for the first wrestling meet and Toby is about five minutes away from dying or at least passing out because he’s so malnourished. JT tries to reason with him but he doesn’t want to hear a thing. He get’s all pissed off because Ashley and him are worried about him. I would say it was the starvation talking but Toby is just that big of a dickhead to get mad at something like that. He vows to JT that he’s going to go out there and win and not get third place in some geek contest.

Toby starts his match and immediately dies from his heart just stopping. He just drops dead and everyone is all horrified at the sight. But no, he’s still alive, that was just my little fantasy there. Much like Claude’s death Toby’s death would have zero impact on the school or the students.

Toby, Passed Out

This scene right here is the best part of the episode because Terri finally stands up for herself. Terri is telling Paige and Hazel all about her photoshoot and is even showing them pictures. That’s when Sabu once again makes fun of her by saying that she should join Degrassi’s sumo team. Terri can’t stands no more of this shit and goes off on his ass. She makes fun of his goofy job as an ice cream man and tells him how she made mad money off of one photoshoot. I have to admit, I laughed my ass off.

Terri, Paige, Sabu Sabu, Terri

At their house JT walks in and Toby tells him that Coach Armstrong chewed his ass out and kicked him off of the team. Serves him right for trying to become something that he’s not. Toby feels good because people actually asked if he was ok. Especially because it was Sean and Kendra asking for the most part.

Toby, End Credits

So yeah, now that I think about it, this was a big time rehash of the Degrassi Junior High episode when Kathleen had her eating disorder. Only they did a much better job at it than this go around. Maybe I would have given a shit if t was anyone else but Toby. At least Terri’s story line was a bit more entertaining and it was great to see her finally standing up for herself.


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Season 2, Episode 8, “Shout Part 2”

So yeah, I deliberately put this one off because I just hate this two parter so much. It’s probably because I dislike both Paige and Dean. Even though Paige is the victim in this episode.

Pre-credit opener: I’m surprised we didn’t get a recap of the last episode. Right away I can tell that Paige is dreaming just by going by the strange way the scene in the Degrassi girls restroom is being lit. As if to remind us how old as fuck Dean really is, he pops out of a stall and we can see that he has a tattoo on his forearm. With a smug look on his face, he says, “Hey Spirit.” Paige immediately starts to freak out and tells him that he raped her. Dream Dean starts to tell her that she wanted it and forces himself on her again. Mercifully Paige is woken up from her dream by her alarm clock.

Paige, Dean

At Degrassi Terri sporting some corn rolls tells Paige all about a female empowerment band competition, or something like that. Terri is way into getting into the competition, but Paige points out to her that their band PMS broke up. That didn’t last long at all. Probably because Ashley was ostracized by that shithead Paige. Paige being Paige now wants to do it because they can win a trip to LA and play in front of some record executives.

In Snake’s class Terri mentions to Paige that they need Ashley to sing but Paige still being filled with hatred tells her fuck no. Oh lord, she turns Hazel around and tells Terri that she’s their new lead singer. But she instantly regrets that decision because Hazel can’t sing worth a shit. She’s so God awful. Even Ashley looks like she wants to laugh her ass off in the back ground.

Paige, Hazel,

In Mrs Kwan’s English class Terri is giving a nervous speech about her ode to foode. Ashley then comes up and just like Claude from Degrassi High depresses everyone, because her’s is about the fucked up subject of rape. Where would she even think about doing that. It’s like, “Oh I have an afternoon free, let me write about rape.” As I typed that I saw my own reflection on the monitor and realized that I’m an asshole writing about rape on his free time too. Oh the irony. Moving on, Paige of course is taking it to heart because unlike Ashley, she is a victim of it.

Ashley, Paige, Hazel

Back to the MI lab and Sean is giving a report about the inventor of motorcycles. Isn’t this a computer class? Why are they giving speeches about people they admire? It’s like the teachers at that school just do whatever. And speaking of whatever, Liberty comes up and her subject is JT. She dresses up like him and completely humiliates him by having all sorts of embarrassing pictures of him. Including pictures of him looking extremely gay and looking even more gayer being outside shirtless with some floaties. Turns out that Milhouse is the one who gave her his photo album. But what kid at that age keeps photos of himself?

JT, Liberty

At the lockers JT comes up to all of his friends laughing their asses off at him and he tells them that it wasn’t that funny. But they beg to differ. Liberty points out that her imitation of him was a tribute. So going by that he starts to act like her and points out how she acts like a nerdy two shoes and how she really doesn’t have any friends and no one likes her. She leaves all pissed off sort of like she wants to cry and now everyone is pissed off at him. I hate it when people can dish it out, but they can’t take it. Stand your ground JT, she deserved it.

In the Degrassi music room Hazel is still singing like complete shit and Paige can’t take it any more. Terri comes in wearing the same outfit from the previous season and says that she did it to get into the mood. Paige tells her that it’s so last year and she’s way out of touch with trends. Terri tells her, “Bitch, why do you have to be so mean?” But of course being a heinous bitch she says, “I’m not mean, I’m right.” If I were Terri I would have said, “I quit.” Seriously who needs that abuse. Anyways, Paige tells her that they’re going to go by a new wardrobe and Terri, surprisingly  stands up for herself and tells her no. Then says, “Paige doesn’t understand that word, never has.” HAHA! That sure got her. Paige get’s super pissed and tells her to cut her shit out. They start to rehearse and yeah, they fucking suck donkey balls, mostly because of Hazel.

Terri, Hazel, Paige

Paige leaves the room all disgusted at the both of them and she decides to pay Ashley a visit at her house. Outside we can hear Ashley singing stupid emo songs that she wrote herself on her mom’s piano. Paige knocks on the door and Ashley all surly tells her, “What are you doing here?” As the scene is going on Ashley is pointing out to her that she has real nerve asking her for her help after what she did to her. Paige starts to kiss major ass and tells her how great her dark poem was and that it spoke to her. Ashley being right tells her that it’ll just end up like last year with Paige ruining everything. After much groveling Ashley agrees to join PMS again because she’s a glutton for punishment.

Ashley

At the Degrassi recording studios Ashley is back practicing on her keyboard and she gives all the girls new lyrics. She goes on to tell them that it’s about rape. Yeah out of all subjects fucking Ashley decides to go with this one. All happy about it, she tells the girls the stats on how many teenage girls get raped by the time they get to college. Predictably Paige goes ape shit and tells her to change the lyrics to the song and a whole big argument begins between the two of them. Paige then demands that they do the other lyrics instead. Again, I don’t know why Ashley doesn’t tell her to go fuck herself and quit the band.

We go back to the B plot and JT starts to make fun of Liberty and her lameness again. He points out the same thing I said that she can dish it out, but can’t take it. At that she starts to go off on him and calls him, “JT Dork.”  and some other shit about him not knowing her. He says that he does and that she’s a big bore of a person and she does nothing fun. She grabs a marker out of his hand and does a Satanic looking symbol on some lockers and tells him, “Fun enough for you!” Stupid JT then starts to try and rub it off, but since it’s a permanent, it’s not going anywhere.

JT

In the MI lab Ashley confronts Paige about the lyrics and they have another argument again. Ashley tells her that she’s acting just like she was last year and demands to know what her problem is with her fucked up lyrics. Paige shouts to her that singing a song about rape isn’t going to win them the contest. You know, I have to agree with her on that. She goes on to say that Ashley doesn’t know jack shit about it and her reading about it doesn’t mean that she does. Ashley tells her that she’s allowed to imagine and Paige shouts, “No you’re not!” And then stops because the whole class including Snake are just staring at the two of them. All calmly she tells Ashley to bring the old lyrics.

Media Immersion Class

Back with JT and Liberty, JT asks her how could she do that and she wrote “graffiti” on his locker. She starts to act like an asshole and that’s when Mr Raditch interrupts them and he’s seriously pissed off. He tells him what he was thinking and that people saw him do it. JT denies it but dumbass has all the red ink all over his hands because he tried to rub it off. Liberty is all smiles because Raditch took him to his office for a caning and a call home to his mom. In Mrs Kwan’s class Milhouse asks her if she’s seen JT and she tells him what happened. Milhouse get’s all depressed and tells Liberty that if JT got in trouble again his mom was going to send his ass to Oats Military Academy.

PMS is rehearsing again but that’s when Hazel walks in and tells them with a sign that she can’t sing. Paige makes a sarcastic remark at that and Hazel flips her off and says that she can’t sing due to Polyps. Ashley get’s all excited over Hazel’s misfortunes, which pretty much makes her look like an awful person. She starts to sing her rape song again and fuck! Paige for about the 6th time in this episode get’s all pissed off and tells her that they’re not going to use those lyrics.

They go outside and they start to go at it. Paige finally starts to cry and Ashley can finally see that Paige was actually raped. So the flood gates are now opened and Paige tells her what happened. Ashley asks her if she’s been to a dr and Paige tells her that he used a condom. She doesn’t even want to see a counselor about it. Later on all this inaction about Dean is going to bite Paige in the ass. But that’s a few seasons from now.

Ashley, Paige

Back to JT, it seems like Mr Raditch has given him a jar of piss and a tooth brush to clean the mess that Liberty made. And speak of the devil. She comes along and admits to him that she was the one who defaced school property.

Mr Raditch, Liberty, JT

Finally it’s time for the big battle of the Female bands and it seems like it’s at a shopping mall. Way to be cheap Degrassi producers. They come out and Paige is stricken stiff with terror because she spots Dean out in the crowd looking more smug than ever. But she actually starts to get pissed off and she starts to sing Ashley’s lyrics about being raped. Dean leaves all scared thanks to the power of Rock and Roll and those lyrics.

Paige Dean

We come to JT and Liberty and it seems like she’s on garbage detail and she tells JT all about Mr Raditch telling her parents what she did. And yeah, who cares. This is another B plot that always ground this episode to a halt.

In the hallway it’s clear by what they’re saying that they lost the battle of the bands. Ellie comes along and tells them that they were robbed. She goes on to tell Paige that she was awesome. As they all leave Paige is going to walk into her guidance counselor’s office and she’s ready to talk. But she’s talking to the wrong person. Going by experience, my guidance counselor was completely useless.

Paige, Ellie, Ashley Paige, End Credits

So there you have it peeps. The rape two parter. It was ok. No you know what? I hate this two part episode. Why lie about it. It pisses me off that nothing really happened to Dean. You would have thought that an alpha bitch like Paige would do everything in her power to completely destroy that piece of shit. But no, it’s left all opened ended. But what do we expect from Degrassi. God forbid we ever get any closure to story lines.


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Season 2, Episode 7, “Shout, Part 1”

Ok, I just wanna start out with saying that I hate this two parter and it’s mostly because I hate the character of Dean. Such a smug motherfucker. But I guess that says a lot about his acting ability.

Pre-credit opener: We open with a very intense game of soccer between Degrassi and some unnamed high school. Spinner seems to be making a break for it with the ball while Dean is hauling ass trying to catch him. Paige meanwhile is on the sidelines pretending to be cheering for Degrassi, but she’s so caught up at just gawking at him with lust in her eyes. Spinner makes the game winning goal and is the hero of the game. Good for him not being the water boy this time around. Anyways, Dean spots Paige staring at her and smiles back. Ok, in what world is this guy a high school student? He looks like a fucking 40 year old man.

Paige Dean

As the other school is leaving Paige is still checking out Dean and that’s when Hazel tells her that it ain’t never going to happen. That’s when Spinner comes along and you can tell that Paige can give a shit about him, even as he’s asking her out for a date. She gives him a lame excuse but Spinner begs her if she can move it for Sunday. She says sure and Hazel points out how much Spinner is into her, but Paige just says that it’s no big deal since they’ve done stuff together before and that they’re just friends.

In the locker room Drake is telling Spinner that he knew that he was into her. Of course he was, everyone can tell. Spinner says, “Of course, I’m a winner on the field and with the ladies!” Drake goes on to point out to him that Paige is the coolest girl in grade 9. Jimmy suggests that he step it up for those reasons, but Spinner also has a bit of a cool thing going for him since he is a star soccer player.

Spinner

Oh lord. Paige is still going on about Dean and totally wants to go out with him. So being all aggressive she introduces herself to him and says that she’s head of the spirit squad. He calls her Spirit and tells her his name. Spirit is a name that he’ll use with her for as long as he’s on this show. As his bus is pulling away he invites the both of them to a party. Probably a frat one because he’s old as fuck.

Oh no! NO! NOOOO!!!!! JT and Toby have the B plot and just looking at Toby opening his locker and having all of JT’s shit falling out of it instantly annoyed me. It’s plots like these that make writing this blog a real chore. JT is in his school mascot costume and I don’t know if it’s everywhere, but in my high school the identity of who it was, was always a secret. But I guess Degrassi doesn’t give a shit about things like those. Going on, it’s the old cliched story line of two friends not getting along when they share a space, this time being a shared locker.

Toby, JT

Mercifully we cut to Paige and Hazel shopping and Paige is pouting because Hazel won’t let her get fuck me pumps because they’re way too tall. Paige then get’s a text and it’s Spinner. It’s pretty clear that Paige hasn’t canceled on him yet. So she gives him a horrible excuse of her grandma being in the hospital.

HAHA! Oh God, we come to Spinner and Jimmy shopping at an ancient Blockbuster video. Spinner is getting all these sappy love stories for Paige and Drake points out that it’s a date, not a marathon. As Drake is getting a bunch of chips and candy Spinner get’s the text and get’s all disappointed at her canceling. I can’t believe that he bought her bullshit lie. Jimmy tells him not to despair and that he’s going to show him a good time.

Drake, Spinner

It’s finally time for the big party and the both of them come dressed like a couple of hootches. Paige even bought the stripper heels, she tries to make some small talk with him and you can tell that he can give two shit’s about anything she has to say. As he goes to get her a drink this black chick tells Paige that she should chill out because he’s way too old for her. See, even Degrassi is pointing out how old this guy looks. He looks like those loser old guys that parties with high school students still. Paige being annoying tells her, “Fuck off hoe, you’re just being jealous.”

Hazel, Paige

Sigh! JT and Toby are at Toby’s house doing shit that two nerds usually do on a Friday night. Which is just hanging out and talking about non sense. JT brings up their locker and he promises to clean everything up. He’s making up some disgusting looking concoction and I could careless.

Back to the party Dean is seriously laying it on thick on Paige, telling her how beautiful her eyes are. Of course she’s loving getting the attention from a guy who can legally drink alcohol. But oh shit, she spots Jimmy and Spinner at the party. Hazel suggests that they should leave but she says, “No way, I’m this close.” That’s when she makes what is probably the worst mistake of her life and asks him to take her to a quiet room where they can be by themselves.

Jimmy, Spinner

This is where things take a turn for the worst. He sweet talks her some more and they start to make out. Of course this guy being a walking hard on, he leads her to the bed and starts to force himself on her. She tells him to stop but this is when the prick actually busts out a condom and Paige immediately starts to panic and tries to leave. But he forces her back down and yup, Paige is being raped while she’s telling him to stop.

Dean, Paige

All of a sudden it’s Monday I’m guessing and she’s hella depressed while she’s sitting at the bleachers hearing that asshole’s voice over and over. Hazel and Terri come by her locker and that’s when Terri wants to hear all the horny details but Paige is being all subdued, and basically makes it sounds like they had consensual sex. Drake meanwhile hears this and is automatically pissed off for his homie Spinner.

Terri, Hazel, Paige

At the MI lab Snake is going through an assignment and he notices that Paige is just staring at her screen and she goes on to tell him that she forgot to email her essay to her account. Hazel meanwhile is noticing that Paige is acting weird. Ok wait, I swear that she seriously implied that they had sex, but in this scene Paige tells her that they’d didn’t just simply kiss, but actually did the nasty. Way to confuse me Degrassi writers. Anyways, Hazel is shocked to hear this news but they can’t get into it because Snake is being a dick.

Snake, Hazel, Paige

We get back to Toby and JT and Toby is doing the classic sitcom plot device of putting a piece of tape to mark each other’s boundaries. He explains the rules to JT and then leaves, JT sticks it to him though by cutting the sleeves off of Toby’s sweater that was going over on his side.

It’s lunch time and Spinner is telling Jimmy that he wants to take Paige to go see Star Wars, but Jimmy tells him to cool it with her and that she’s busy with cheer leading and class. Spinner basically says, “Big fucking deal yo.” But that’s when Jimmy tells him that’s he’s heard shit, like Paige and Dean hooking up at the party that they were at. Spinner of course is all heartbroken over hearing this news.

Spinner, Jimmy

In Mrs Kwan’s room everyone is busy reading their novels. I’m surprised that she doesn’t have them doing non English class things like more improv. What the fuck Mrs Kwan. Hazel takes this time as an opportunity of getting all the sexual details of Paige’s first time boning. But she notices that Paige is acting like it’s not even a big deal. Hazel of course being nosy as hell demands to know a detail or two. That’s when Paige tells her that she’ll change seats if she doesn’t shut the fuck up. Spinner meanwhile is just staring at her all pissed off.

In the hallway we can all tell that Spinner is going to confront Paige and her bullshit that she told him. He asks her how her grandma is and she can’t even remember her lie. He get’s her attention though by asking how Dean is doing and tells her he knows what happened. She says, “Were you in the room with me? I don’t think you were.” She tries to walk away and that’s when he grabs her arm and points out that she lied to him. She fucking goes ballistic here and tells him not to touch her ever again and this is where he gives her the real zinger of, “Why not, everyone else does!” Oh what a major burn. And she fucking bitch slaps the shit out of him and just walks away, leaving him completely shocked.

Paige, Spinner, Slap

NO!!! Stop going to fucking Toby and JT’s lame B plot! Toby discovers his cut sleeve and they start a stupid fight about the locker. Just as they’re starting their little sissy fight Radich comes along and puts a stop to it. It’s stupid story lines like these that make me miss Liberty’s crush on JT.

JT, Mr Raditch, Toby

In Paige’s office, the girls shitter, Hazel walks in and tells her that Spinner was way out of line with what he said. In a stall Paige is crying and tells her that it wasn’t like how she thought it was going to be. Especially her first time. She admits to Hazel that she got raped and let’s everything come out how he forced himself on top of her. Hazel being a good friend tells her that she told him no. She then says the word rape and Paige loses it, crying harder this time.

Paige, Crying

We cut back to Raditch lecturing Toby and JT about their antics and they basically forgive and forget. JT makes things right with Toby by cutting off a sleeve from his own shirt. Hopefully this stupid bullshit is over with now.

At the soccer field Hazel comes running after Paige and asks her what happened with going to the Dr after school. But Paige doesn’t want to deal with anything that happened to her. Which is understandable. Hazel goes on to point out that it wasn’t her fault, but Paige is now basically saying that is because of the way she dressed and acted like she wanted his dick. Hazel still repeats that she said no. The episode ends with Paige taking it out on Hazel and telling her that she’s fine. (She isn’t)

Hazel, Paige, To Be Continued

So this episode was alright. I guess it dealed with the subject of rape in a realistic way. Even that sounds messed up. But I can see why the JT and Toby subplot was added for some comedic relief, but all they managed to do was annoy the shit out of me. Tune in next time for the shocking conclusion to this fucked up two parter.


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Season 2, Episode 2, “When Doves Cry Part 2”

Pre-credit opener: We get a brief of JT’s shenanigans trying to get a date with Paige while we find out that new kid Craig is getting beat by his asshole dad.

We continue from the next morning with Craig checking out his badly bruised body in the mirror. At Degrassi his dad is dropping him off and he knows that he went way over board so he’s trying to pay Craig off by giving him a bunch of money so that he can buy himself a new camera. Because that’s what abusive shitheads like him do. He has the nerve to ask Craig, “No hard feelings?”

Craig, BruisedCraig, Craig's Dad

In the lunch line, JT is still scheming to get a date with Paige. That’s when Paige comes up to JT and she asks him out on a date because she’s desperate for money to fix her hair. She even tells him that it’s his treat. She leaves and Milhouse can’t believe that just happened.

Paige, Toby, JT

In the hallway Emma meets up with Craig and they start to talk about Joey. She goes on to tell him that she’s going to be babysitting Angela again after school and since his dad didn’t say anything about him not being able to see Emma, then it makes it alright. Wow that was fast, it’s after school and they pick up Angela. After much begging Emma let’s Craig take Angela to the park because she’s a little brat.

Angela, Craig

As they’re playing Angela accidentally hurts Craig because she just happened to touch one of his massive bruises. Because she’s a dumb kid, he tells her that it was a dinosaur that did it. If she saw Jurassic Park she’d know it was bullshit because he’d really be torn apart. Anyways, Craig comes up with a stupid idea of running away to British Columbia with her because he thinks he has enough money to survive, even though it’s just 300 dollars.

Uh oh Joey pulls up and he’s looking for Angela. Emma reluctantly tells him that she’s with Craig at the park. Joey get’s really annoyed with her because just like Caitlin she can’t mind her own business. At the mall Paige meets up with JT dressed like the unibomber. She just has to be a bitch about it and they go see Three Kicks to the Head Part 3.

Joey JT, Paige

Seem’s like Craig has now left the park and is getting Angela some ice cream. Again he brings up how great British Columbia is and is just about to take her to the bus station, but that’s when Joey shows up and ruins everything. After some small talk stupid Angela let’s Joey know that Craig wants to basically kidnap her and take her across the country. You can tell Craig wanted to tell her, “Shut your fucking mouth!” Joey tells him to stay away from her and Craig says that he can’t do that. All Joey does is yell at him so more.

Angela, Joey

At his house Craig is just sitting there at the table and that’s when his dad walks in. Craig goes on to tell him that the camera he wants costs a little bit more and they make some plans to eat dinner and get the one he wanted. But then Joey calls up and you just know he told his dad everything that Craig did. He can see the thunderheads in his dad’s eye and he rushes up to his room and barricades the door. While packing a bag, he calls up Sean of all people and asks him if he wants to hang out. He escapes out of a window before his dad can put him in the hospital or the fucking morgue because he was just breaking down the door with a golf club.

Craig's Dad

We go back to JT and Paige’s stupid date and I could careless about this goddamn sub plot. JT tells Paige a really stupid unfunny joke and she get’s offended because it was about cheerleaders. She then tells him her own stupid joke and JT laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. They’re interrupted by Spinner and Hazel and the both of them can’t help acting like a couple of assholes. Hazel points out that it seems like she was actually having a good time. Then not showing no social tact at all she pays Paige the money right in front of JT. JT asks her if she got paid to go out on a date with him and Paige just says, “Sue me.” What a couple of bitches.

Spinner, Hazel

Out in the industrial section of Toronto I guess Craig is telling Sean all about his dad and how he’s a surgeon that makes a shit load of money. He quickly adds that his job is pretty stressful and they fight a lot because of it. But it’s more that he takes it out on Craig. Once again he tells Sean about wanting to go to British Columbia because he has a few hundred bucks. Sean tells him that he’ll just end up on the streets and that’s when Craig suggests that they run away together. Sean having more common sense tells him that they can’t do that and besides he’s finally gotten his life together. Suddenly Sean figures out that Craig is getting abused because he asked if Sean got hit at home. Craig makes it really obvious that that’s what’s going on with him. He doesn’t get the chance to deny it because he starts to play chicken with an oncoming train. Sean tackles him off the tracks before he’s flatten and Craig just runs away like a maniac. Sean just yells, “Man what’s wrong with you?!”

Craig, Sean

At Joey’s house Emma just barges in because she doesn’t respect his privacy and tells him about Craig wanting to run away to British Columbia and that’s when Sean tells him that his dad beats him. Joey of course doesn’t believe them until Angelia tells him about the stupid dinosaur kicking the shit out of Craig on a daily basis. I swear there was a scene before this one where Sean went to Emma for help with the whole Craig thing. But I guess they deleted it for the DVD release.

Emma, Sean

Finally convinced, Joey and Sean comb the mean streets of Degrassi. While Emma stays behind to watch Manny junior, I mean Angela. She’s goes through Craig’s photo album and see’s that he’s obsessed with his dead mother. That’s when Joey calls and asks if he’s come in. Of course she says no and Joey is about to give up and that’s when she suggests checking out her grave site. (You know I just realized that his mom had to have known that his dad was abusive, possibly to her. This shit doesn’t just come out of nowhere. So going by that reasoning she basically left Craig alone to fend for himself with that fuckhead. Great parenting Julia Jeremiah!)

What do you know. That’s exactly where Craig is, hanging out at the graveyard like a huge creep. Joey tells Sean to hang back a bit while he tries to talk to him. Joey tells him that he just wants to help him and Craig shouts at him that he’s fine. Joey points out that he isn’t because he looks like a maniac. Joey brings up the train incident and Craig starts yelling at Sean saying that he’s a liar. Joey tells him to calm his ass down and Craig tells him that he has no where to go, especially back home because his dad kicks his ass. That’s when Joey confronts him about it and Craig admits that he does and that’s when he bursts into tears. They hug it out because what else can you do in a situation like that.

Craig, Crying

Back at Degrassi Paige surprisingly apologizes to JT because of how shitty she treated him last Friday night. I guess she’s not such a shitty person after all. She goes on to compliment him and tells him that he’s a good date and if he wasn’t such a huge dork, she’d probably go out with him. I’m surprised her clothes didn’t burst into flames because she just told the mother of all lies. Anyways, JT guilt’s her into giving him a kiss on the cheek. By the way, her hair still looks like shit.

Paige, JT

At Craig’s house Joey is telling Craig to not speak to his dad. He’s just to pack his shit and get the fuck out of the house. He mentions that his dad knows what’s going to happen so he’s not going to do jack shit about it unless he wants to end up in jail. Much like Kathleen’s abusive boyfriend his dad tries to guilt him into staying and tries every thing he can to manipulate him. Even comparing him to his dead mom who also left him and broke his heart. Craig then says that they have three options. He can go to Children’s Aid, go with Joey and try to figure everything out or he can stay there and let him continue to beat his ass. His dad of course denies that he does it and that seals the deal right there. The episode ends with Joey and Craig driving away from the house of abuse. I swear when this aired on the N there was a shot of Joey just looking at his dad all pissed off like he wanted to say, “You motherfucker.” But for the DVD release, it’s omitted.

Craig's Dad, Craig Craig

This was a pretty good second part to the first episode. It’s just too bad that they had to add in JT’s and Paige’s bullshit subplot. You can’t win them all.