Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 4, Episode 20, “West End Girls”

So finally after over a year I think, we’re finally going to finish season four. This was a jammed packed season with a lot happening. Sean left, Rick died, Jimmy became a cripple and Spinner got expelled for being an asshole. Well, let’s finish this turkey.

Pre-Credit Opener: The girls are in cheer practice and right away we can tell that Manny resents the hell out of Paige for barking orders. Mrs Hatzalokos says that their new routine is the tits and that’s when Darcy says that it’s all thanks to Manny’s choreography. Paige not liking that Manny is getting the spot light says that as captain of the squad, (Manny makes a sour face as she says this) that she’s proud of them for their hard work. Manny can’t help but say that Paige is pretty useless and hasn’t done a thing the whole time. Of course Paige isn’t going to just let that slide. She asks if Manny has anything to say and surprisingly Manny says no and it’s all her.

Oh lord Toby is in the next scene. He’s hardly been on this season and it’s been a blessing. But he has to ruin it by saying that if Manny was his prom date he wouldn’t let Paige get away with shit. Manny makes a face and tries to ignore what he just said and starts to go off on Paige again. But Toby won’t be stopped. He tells her, “Did you hear the part where I asked you to the prom?” Manny’s all, “Yeah, that’s a hard no for me dweeb.” Lucky for her Marco comes to the rescue and says that Manny is going with him because he’s the newly single leader of the dance committee. This whole scene just proved what a born loser Toby is. He just lost the school skank to Degrassi’s top gay. Can’t get any lower than that. Anyways, Manny get’s annoyed when Marco says that the rest of the gang is coming, including Paige with Matt. As a known pedophile you would think that Matt would be barred from going.

In line for their year books Manny wants Hazel to play peacemaker between her and Paige. She mentions that she should join them when they go shopping because Paige is a weirdo and she becomes emotional when they do that.

We then cut to Caitlin’s station where she’s interviewing motherfucking Silent Bob himself Kevin Smith. Apparently he’s in town to shoot a new movie there called Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian Eh. Craig is there for some reason and he becomes excited, almost psychotic when Kevin mentions that a few locations they were going to use fell through, including a school. Gee I wonder if Degrassi’s going to be mentioned? Right away Craig ambushes him and is completely star struck. Caitlin mentions that Craig is going to her old school. She’s all, “It’s called Degrassi. Maybe you’ve heard of it?” But why would he, unless he saw the school name in a headline when Rick shot Jimmy then himself. Craig mentions that he should come check out the school because he and Ashley will be playing the prom. As the bullshit meter rises, Kevin mentions that he’s just looking to find a musician for his new movie and gives Craig the number to his music supervisor. Poor Kevin, he has no idea that Craig and Ashley only make shitty emo music.

In the next scene Paige is trying to fit into a dress that’s too small for her, but she insist’s that it fits. As she steps out of the dressing room she’s beyond pissed that Manny is wearing the same thing and it looks way better on her. Manny tries to apologize, but Paige all aggressive and tells her to get out of the dress and out of her face.

In Joey’s garage Craig is all excited barely listening to Ashley. He wants to write a new shitty song right away. She mentions that she got herself a Summer job and it’s with the BBC in England. Craig tells her to forget about it and says that they’ll be working on Kevin Smith’s new movie. Isn’t he jumping the gun here though? I don’t think they’ve been hired just yet.

At the food court Paige is upset because Matt has gotten a job for the Summer up in the Yukon because he’s a broke dick loser. Paige tells Marco that Matt is leaving before the prom and he won’t be back for months. The scene just abruptly cuts and we’re in the gym where Marco is telling Manny that he can’t go to the prom with her because he has to go with Paige because she’s upset. Manny now pissed is hearing that Paige is changing the choreography because she can’t do the moves. Manny offers to show her, but Paige counters by saying that she’ll do the jumping part that Manny did and regulates Manny to being the mascot. Hazel mentions that they’ve never caught Paige before. But she’s being a cunt and threatens them by saying they’ll be off the squad if they don’t do her bidding.

Out in the hallway Darcy mentions that she wishes that they could get rid of Paige and you can tell that Manny has an evil plan brewing. Seems that there’s an assembly going on and Kevin is there with Caitlin filming things with his camcorder. We’re starting to see that he has a thing for her and is starting to flirt a little. The spirit squad starts to do their thing and Hazel and the black chick, I still don’t remember her name throw Paige up into the air and fail to catch her. Paige lands horribly on her ankle while Darcy and the black chick laugh their fucking asses off, making it obvious that they did it on purpose.

We cut to Craig and Ashley with the music supervisor and going by the look on his face, it’s clear that he thinks that Craig and Ashley suck ass too. They say that they can change everything to how he wants it. But he goes off on them and pretty much tells them that they’re horrible and kicks them out of his office. It’s about time that someone told them the truth.

Back at the boutique Emma and Manny are now looking for dresses and Manny is bummed because the selection sucks. She still wants the dress that Paige picked up, so in the spirit of fuck it. She decides to get the dress because the hell with Paige.

It’s finally time for the prom and what a surprise Liberty and JT are in charge of taking tickets and the ballot box for King and Queen. Just then Darcy comes by and she’s feeling extremely rotten because Paige broke her ankle thanks to them. Manny being heartless tells her to chill out and who cares because Paige is a twat. To shut her up, Manny votes Paige for queen.

Turns out that Paige is still going to the prom on crutches. She seems to be high on her pain meds and is being super annoying because she’s complaining about how shitty her life is at the moment. Funny how Jimmy and Hazel are done with her complaining and tell her to stop crying over fucking spilled milk. Jimmy’s all, “I’m in a wheelchair and my dick doesn’t work. Stop complaining.” Hazel then goes off on her saying that she’s ruining Jimmy’s night and lets her know that Manny was doing great with the spirit squad while Paige was too busy fucking around with Matt. A little thank you would have been great. Paige all childish says that Manny was being horrible to her. That’s when Hazel says that Paige is the type of person that just has to be even worse to the person to get even. Finally that shut her up. Glad Hazel told her what’s what.

Poor Manny she ended up being stuck with that dud Toby after all. You can tell that he’s in heaven right now. Pressing his little pecker against her body. Manny wants to go get a drink to get away from him, but he won’t let go like a creep. Suddenly Manny grabs Emma and trusts her against Toby. Him being hard up doesn’t care who he’s pressed up against as long as it’s a warm hot body. Kevin and Caitlin show up and she’s still trying to get him to shoot his movie there at the school.

Paige is voting for the king and queen and that’s where Manny spots her and says that she’s like the damn Terminator. Nothing can keep her down. Paige in a rage asks her what she’s wearing. But then quickly collects herself and wishes her luck. Oh lord we get some shots of Craig and Ashley playing the prom and they’re just horrible. It was probably Marco who hired them to play. The rest of the school should be booing telling them to get off the stage. But no, they’re faking like they like it. Including Kevin Smith. Meanwhile Paige is backstage changing the votes so that Manny can win. Just like in Carrie.

Ashley and Craig step out for a bit and he’s on cloud nine because Kevin seemed to have liked their shitty song. Ashley also happy gives him a kiss and says that she’s going to miss him. Craig doesn’t understand and that’s when she says that she’s still going to take the job with the BBC. Immediately Craig is bummed. I’m just wondering how Ashley got that gig. I know I sound like I’m beating a dead horse, but she sucks as a musician. But that’s what the Degrassi writers want us to believe.

It’s now time for king and queen and of course Manny wins by a landslide thanks to Paige. Manny is beyond happy because she was having a horrible night being stuck with Toby. Her joy is short lived because Paige trips and falls, ripping Manny’s dress off, showing her body to the student body. Ha, see what I did there? But it’s not like everyone there hasn’t seen it already. Half of her outfits she was pretty much nude. She then falls off the stage, but Kevin catches her. As she’s crying Kevin tells Caitlin that they’ll definitely be shooting there.

Outside the gym Craig is still sitting there depressed and that’s when Kevin spots him. They have a heart to heart about relationships and the fact that the music guy hated them. Kevin mentions that he’s had a lot of girl trouble and hardly get’s the girl. He tells Craig to try and get over Ashley by going home and working on a new God awful song for his movie.

In the girls restroom Manny is busy changing because she was just humiliated by Paige in front of the entire school. Paige walks in feeling bad now and tries to apologize. They both start to go off on each other telling each other’s transgressions. Paige then mentions the fact that Manny got Matt fired and she hates her for it. Suddenly they both calm down and it seems that just like that, their beef is over because it’s now Summer. Oh lord, teenage girls, I’m telling you.

So this was an ok episode. I hate that Paige and Manny’s season long feud ended like nothing happened. I guess the writers were just saying fuck it, the season’s over so let’s just end this bullshit. Craig and Ashley are no more, again. And once again I could give two fucks about their relationship. But there it was peeps, the season four finale. I would say this season started out strong, but half way started to suck thanks to Paige’s relationship problems. Let’s see what season five brings because I have no memory of it. So it’ll be new to me again.


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Season 4, Episode 14, “Secret Part 1”

Hey there Degrassi maniacs, yes it’s been awhile since I last posted an episode review. I originally intended on starting up again once I got settled into moving into my fiance’s house back in June. But as usual, things don’t go as planned. First she was diagnosed with cervical cancer, we were devastated to hear this news. But luckily they caught it early and she beat it. Then while she was recovering, about a week after her surgery I got this horrible pain in my gut and I was diagnosed with Diverticulitis. They said it was a mild case of it. I can’t imagine how a full blown attack feels like because that hurt like a motherfucker. Anyways, needless to say, it was a pretty shitty Summer for the both of us but it’s now November and we’re both recovering nicely. I may be rusty at doing this again, so bare with me.

Pre Credit Opener: Ah, I just noticed that this is the big episode where Emma sucks Jay’s nasty dick. So we’re in for a real treat with this one. We open with Johnny Mathis going over his lines for Liberty’s stupid Dracula play. Jay notices Emma just standing there and he starts to massage her shoulders, saying how tense she is. Jay noticing that Emma doesn’t mind one bit that he’s touching her decides to risk it and feels her tight little ass next. Or is he fingering her asshole? I can’t tell. She get’s yelled at by JT because she missed her cue and all she does is look back at Jay with a confused look on her face. Probably because she liked it I’m guessing.

After class the teacher who was played by the same guy who worked for LD’s dad from Degrassi Junior High is telling Emma that her participation grade is going really low and he knows that she went through a lot with the shooting, but she needs to get her head out of her ass already. Emma just stands there with a blank look on her face and just leaves. She stops in her tracks and gawks at Jay and Alex making out. Jay sees her and says the classic line of, “Why don’t you take a picture it’ll last longer.” But he’s looking at her with lust in his eyes.

Outside the school Ashley is really worried about Craig for some reason. Ellie tells her that it’s so not her job to be worrying about him all the time. Which just goes to show how dead Ellie is inside after Sean dumped her. Craig comes by and is eating his lunch like a slob. Craig stops swallowing his food into his mouth and asks Ashley what they were talking about. Ashley tells him not to worry and she hasn’t told anyone that he’s a bi polar asshole. She then makes the mistake of asking him if he’s thought about going to a support group with other fucked up individuals as himself. Craig of course doesn’t want to talk about it and get’s annoyed with her. Which isn’t hard, Ashley can be irritating. She then makes a deal with him that he should at least go for one night and if he hates it, he doesn’t have to go back again. Yeah, that’s going to work out well.

In the next scene they’re still rehearsing Liberty’s stupid play and it’s obvious that Darcy sucks ass at acting. Emma corrects her one too many times and she gets annoyed at her. JT is going insane because she just happens to be the leading lady. He then pretty much fires her and she goes off in a huff. Emma starts to recite more lines back stage and Manny tells her to just go for it, but she’s in depressed mode right now so her confidence is at an all time low. Meanwhile Amy is going on about her cheap bracelets missing, why even mention this? Because it’s integral to the plot that’s why!

We cut to the teen support group and Craig is already boring people with his problems. He quickly clams up because surprise, surprise Ellie walks in and he knows he’s fucked because she now knows how fucked up he is. But really? Everyone knows how messed up he is so no one would really be surprised.

The next day Jay pulls up to Emma showing off his car because he’s seen the Fast and the Furious one too many times. Emma accepts and get’s in the car and they talk about Sean and how much they miss him. She does at least. They pull up to her house and he asks her if she wants to go to the park where all the bad Degrassi kids hang out. Emma walks in and hears Spike talking about how worried she is about her acting like a basket case and Spike should know because she acted the same way in Degrassi High. Down in her room Manny calls her but she ignores her. She then decides to go hang out with that scumbag Jay at the park.

She get’s there and it’s like a scene from the Outsiders where all the greasers were hanging out with a bon fire going on. She asks him if he thinks that she’s weird and he tells her that she’s no more weirder than the rest of them. Suddenly these two people come out of this junked out van and it’s obvious they did the nasty in it. Emma asks him what’s in the van and Jay now being horny asks her if she wants to see. Because Emma is predictable she goes in there with him. Jay just goes for it and kisses her. He explains to her that the van is used for people to suck dick in there. She panics and starts to leave, but Jay being a walking hard on gives her one of the cheap bracelets that Amy was going on about and says that every player get’s a prize.

The next day of class JT and Liberty are irritating as hell talking about the stupid play. JT is in deep shit because he lost his leading lady. Emma stands up and starts to say more lines from the play. Liberty being a shit head tells her that they need someone reliable and that she’s been off lately. Emma convinces JT pretty quickly because he’s desperate.

In the hallway Ashley tells Craig all about her two dad’s big gay honeymoon, but all he’s concerned with is that they think he’s insane. But he did act like a fucking maniac in front of everyone. Craig acting like a little bitch tells her that she sent him to Ellie’s group on purpose and then Ashley has the nerve to be offended when he tells her that she didn’t think about his feelings. Which is kind of true.

We go back to rehearsals and Emma fucks things up by laughing when she’s supposed to kiss Dracula. Back stage Amy and Alex are making fun of Emma because they somehow know that she’s afraid of some penis. That or they’re just bitches who assume that she’s a goodie two shoes. Emma all full of herself shows her bracelet to Amy and tells her that it’s hers, even though she never sucked Jays hairy root. Amy and her very thin eye brows is very confused for some reason. Alex for once has no idea what the both of them are talking about. Which is surprising.

After school Emma tells Jay how Amy shut up when she showed her her cheap ass bracelet. Jay tells her that maybe she should shut up about it because she didn’t earn anything and Amy did. Emma asks him if Amy earned it from him. He tells her that there’s plenty of skanks in that ravine and she should feel lucky because he picked her. Emma being stupid feels really complimented by that.

At Joeys Ellie comes by and asks Craig if he knows how to restring a guitar. He quickly see’s right through the ploy and she admits that Ashley made her go. She then goes on to say that she’s a cutter and he says that he knows. Shit, the whole school knows since she’s emo as fuck. She tries to talk to him by saying that she’ll always be a cutter and that he should just accept it. She then desecrates Kirk Cobain’s name by mentioning it next to Craig’s and says that if he would have accepted it, things would have been different. She then tells him that he should go back to the group, but he should also talk to Ashley too. He tells Ellie that all she wants to talk to him about is his craziness and that she’s bringing him down with that bullshit.

Back at the park Emma comes up to Jay and says she wants a tour of the jizz filled van. Seriously, that’s fucking disgusting, but it seems Emma doesn’t mind one bit. They go into the van and yeah. Emma is going to go to town on Jay’s wang saying, “Hello boner.”

In the next scene Craig is telling Ashley that he did like Ellie group and that he’ll most likely go back again. Ashley apologizes for the shit that she pulled but is glad that he’s going back. He tells her that he wants to be her boyfriend and not some crazy bastard that she has to save all the time. Pretty much he tells her to cut her shit out already.

Uh oh. Emma is sneaking into her room in the basement and she’s caught by a very pissed off Spike. Emma lies and tells them that she went out for a walk. She finally breaks down and tells Spike that ever since the shooting, she can’t sleep and is deathly afraid of the world. They ¬†feel sorry for her and tell her that they’ll be time to talk in the morning. The episode ends with her having a smug look on her face and is proud to have another bracelet on her wrist.

So this was an interesting episode. I can’t wait until the stupid play is over with, because really who cares about that shit and I’m a fan of Dracula, but not when JT and Liberty get their hands on it. Craig’s story line is also played out, how much more can they squeeze out of his mental illness? This being Degrassi, the answer is plenty since they like to cover any topic that can affect every Human being on the planet. The highlight of course is Emma gurgling Jay’s meat on a van down by the river! Stay tuned for part two. I promise it won’t take six months for the next review.