Hey there Degrassi fans. I’m sure some of you regular readers have noticed that I’ve been really irregular with posting more reviews. The honest truth is that I lose interest, get interested again after a few months and then quickly lose interest again. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that a lot of episodes in this season have sucked ass. But I’m trying to motivate myself into posting more reviews in May, as in, may I please fucking complete this season already? I may fail in this goal because reading the episode description I can tell that this episode is going to also suck and I’ve been writing this review for a few days already. But you know what? We didn’t come this far to just take a shit and then eat it, we’re finishing this bitch.
Pre-Credit Opener: Paige and her pedo boyfriend are out having a romantic picnic and she’s going on about how a good student teacher he is. He’s going on about how scared he is of his class because the next day he’s going to be graded on how well they respond to him. She tells him not to worry about Marco and Heather St Claire because he’s nothing but a little bitch and so is she. They start to make fun of this dad who has no hair on his legs and holy shit, turns out that it’s Snake taking his baby out for a stroll. Paige puts on her shades and her stupid pink cowboy hat to disguise herself. But I think it only brings more attention towards them. She thinks the coast is clear, but it kind of seems like Snake spotted them anyways. Fingers crossed that this is the end of their relationship in this episode, because this stupid bullshit has gotten old fast.
In the next scene Paige isn’t there to lead the cheer squad again, so Manny takes it upon herself to take over. Hazel can’t help telling her that she doesn’t like that at all. Manny with a huge nasty zit on her forehead tells Hazel that Paige doesn’t give a mother fuck because she’s too busy with Matt. Hazel blows it off as it being just a student teacher thing, and that’s when stupid Manny let’s on that Paige and him are linked romantically. Going by her facial expression, Hazel is hurt on not finding out this information from Paige directly.
In the MI lab Mr Wonderful is teaching Emma’s class and they’re having a discussion about Cigarettes that are being geared towards woman. Matt tries to engage even more with Emma and asks her where she thinks the woman in the ad is going. Chris mumbles that she’s probably going to the ravine. Pow! If you remember Emma was sucking Jay’s dick a couple of episodes ago and got and STD I think. Matt tells him to shut his mouth and Snake looks at Chris like he’s going to do something. But Snake is a giant pussy as we all know and isn’t going to do a goddamn thing about it. Emma then starts to name all the stuff the chick will get if she continues smoking. Mumble mouth then says, “Gonorrhea.” Matt now angry tells him that he’ll see him after class. I think Chris is just jealous because she never got on his Alabama black snake.
Apparently now it’s Paige’s class being taught by her boyfriend. Hazel is trying to get her attention, but Paige being in love wants her to shut up so she can listen to him. Hazel won’t be stopped though, she asks Paige if Manny is her new bestfriend. Paige doesn’t know what she’s talking about and that’s when Hazel throws Manny under the bus and lets her know that she told her about their relationship. This of course only get’s her in trouble again and Matt asks her if she has a problem. Hazel being full of sass tells him that she thought that he only had eyes for Paige. Everyone starts whispering and Matt is at a loss for words. So much so that he can’t teach anymore. Which only shows how guilty he is.
Outside the school Manny asks Emma what’s wrong and Emma is so angry she’s trying to kill that mumbling fuck with her mind. Manny and the other girls tell her not to let guys get to her. That’s when Chester comes along and acts all obnoxious with them. After he picks at her food, Darcy thinks that he’s the cat’s meow. To cheer Emma up, Manny proposes that they have a girls only spa weekend. By the way, there’s a new black chick there and I can’t think of her name, but she’ll be joining the cast in later seasons.
In the back of the school Matt is all frazzled now that Hazel fucked with him that way. Paige promises that it’ll never happen again. But Matt is clearly freaking out and says, “I don’t want to be booted out of teacher’s college!” I can’t help but think, it’s not just college? There’s a teacher’s college in Canada? Anyways, Paige vows that that won’t happen, but we all know that Matt is going to be boned by his relationship with her.
In the hallway Manny tells Paige to have a good weekend. But Paige is severely annoyed at Manny, simply ignores her. Pissing Manny off now. Paige now angry asks why she opened her big mouth with Hazel. Manny says that she thought that she knew already. They have more angry words, with Paige calls her a boy crazy whore and that’s when Manny kicks her right in the kiester. Paige then slaps the shit out of her and we have a full blown cat fight on our hands. Mrs Hatzilakos and Matt come and break it up with Matt telling Manny to calm the fuck down. That’s when Manny decides to be a life ruining bitch and calls him a pedophile and tells everyone about their relationship. Right away Mrs Hotass takes Paige and Matt into her office.
Outside her office Paige is telling Marco that everyone is going to hate her if she ends up being the reason that he get’s fired. I love how she’s only thinking about what people are going to think of her. I mean, fuck his career or his life. Marco once again being a girl tells her that it wasn’t her fault, because she was in love. But please, this was just puppy love right here and he took advantage of her because he wanted some teenage poon.
Matt walks out of the office and Mrs Hotass calls her in. Paige immediately starts to go off on Manny, calling her a lying cunt. Mrs Hotass asks her if they have a relationship going on and Paige of course denies it. Only a fool would admit that. She then says that she wants to have Snake, Matt’s teacher adviser and her parents at a meeting to discuss this situation. Ha. This finally has gotten better. Paige get’s her heartbroken because Matt told Mrs Hatzilakos that Paige is a fucking psychopath who’s obsessed with him and has been a stalker for months. I gotta say, it’s kind of true.
It’s time for Emma’s relaxing spa weekend at home and the girls are outside with shit on their faces. Emma for the time being is being a huge man hater and is appreciating the time she’s having with the girls. It’s short lived because apparently Chester is Emma’s neighbor and Darcy and the black chick who just showed up are excited and embarrassed that he’s there because they like him for some reason.
Back at the rat’s nest that’s Matt’s apartment, Paige comes up banging on the door like she’s the damn police. She barges in and want’s to know why he fucked her over. He tells her that he can’t get caught because his life will be over. He wants them to wait until Summer where he’ll be free to ravage her sexually whenever he wants. But Paige has the fury of a woman scorned and doesn’t want to hear this shit. Especially since she’s the one coming off as an unstable stalker. After some more back and forth between these two he simply says, “My entire future is on the line.” Meaning, go along with it you stupid little bitch.
You know, every episode has to have a stupid, boring, or unfunny story line going on and this with Emma and her friends is it. You guys pick which category it falls under. The girls are all outside in the world’s smallest front yard tie dyeing shirts. Why they couldn’t be in their backyard is beyond me. Manny of course seems to be just wearing a man’s shirt and nothing else. That’s when Chester and his other goofy looking brother’s come out of their house and start to play catch. Manny and the girls are pretty moist by spotting this trio and Manny instantly transforms herself into super skank. It’s fucking incredible how this happened. Turns out that Chester’s brother’s are as big as dickheads as he is and one of them throws the football at Emma and all this dye splashes all over her. This starts a massively lame feud between them.
At the movie theater Alex is telling Paige what a piece of shit Matt is for fucking her over. But Paige is still being pathetic and let’s Alex know that she misses him already. Dylan comes by fuming, demanding to know where Matt is so he can fuck him up. Marco meanwhile looks like he’s all scared by his machismo. Paige being an idiot is still defending him to Dylan and just makes herself look really dumb. But hey, what do you expect from a teenage girl? She doesn’t know any better.
Emma and the girls are still feuding with Chester and they do a stupid prank with a Christmas tree and femine products for ornaments. Before she can put the star on she get’s caught by the police. Thank God that shit is over with, seriously it wasn’t funny and it was clearly just to take up room in this episode.
Paige once again shows her stupidity by telling Matt that she’s willing to go along with his story and pretty much blames herself for losing her temper with Manny. She goes on to say not to worry because there’s no strings attached and she just leaves. Matt’s probably dancing for joy because he got her to go along.
At Degrassi Paige is telling everyone that she was being a loser stalker and she doesn’t want to cause anymore trouble, so she would like to transfer out of his class, effective immediately. Snake all full of piss and vinegar tells her that she’ll fail the class because there aren’t anymore MI classes to take and it’ll affect her getting into college. Paige still being a moron says that she’s willing to transfer schools but Mrs H tells her that she’ll probably lose her year because it’s so close to the end of the school year. Snake asks her if she’s really thinking everything through. Man everyone is on her case here. But oh shit. Now we know why Snake is so pissed off for. He goes off on Matt and says that he trusted him with his kids. Mrs Hotass asks him what the fuck he’s talking about. He then tells Mrs Hatzilakos that he saw something between them, but won’t say what. Goddamn it Snake! Once again, you’re a big pussy. Paige now in tears just wants the matter closed and is willing to fail. But Matt can’t take it anymore and admits that they had a relationship going on, seeing each other outside of school. Probably porking her too.
Outside her house Emma tells Chester that she only got a warning from the police. Turns out that Chester’s brother’s are named Chuck and Chad. Jesus Degrassi, can you get anymore ludicrous? Anyways, it’s obvious that Chester likes her and is going to protect her from his idiot brothers.
Finally it’s the end of the episode and Matt tells Paige that he can stay in the aid program, but teacher’s college is done. I’m surprised they let him stay at the school after that shit. Paige acts all shocked and tries to make things right, but Matt knows that his career is over. Strange that he rejoices in the fact that he can now be seen in public with Paige. This motherfucker has no shame and is glad to still have his teenage girlfriend. I would say he’s indifferent about not being able to molest future students.
So it’s about time that we got a more interesting episode. Too bad Paige hasn’t learned her lesson. Actually there were hardly any consequences for Matt except being kicked out of “Teacher’s College.” You would have thought that they would have brought charges on his ass for banging a minor. But no, he got away with it Scott free. I’m not even going to mention Emma’s plot, that shit stunk so bad we smelled it all the way down here in the states from Toronto.