Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 4, Episode 10, “Neutron Dance”

And we’re back for another episode review of Degrassi. This one deals with Craig and Ashley’s relationship again. I don’t know about you guys, but I could careless because Ashley is still a boring character and so is their relationship.

Pre-Credit Opener: Seems like Craig and the boys are still playing Reggae for some inexplicable reason. I could tell you now, that shit sucks ok. I guess it’s not just the boys, Ashley seems to have joined the band and it’s obvious that the guys don’t want her there. That’s probably why they’re playing Reggae to begin with.

In the MI lab Paige is going off to Snake because some asshole left gum on her chair. Snake being a little annoyed tells her to just find another chair and to stop her yapping. Hazel tells Paige that she should join yoga after school because it’s really helped her deal with Jimmy getting blasted and being turned into a cripple. Paige turns her down at first, but since the new student teacher Mr Olyeander is going to be there, she will too. I guess she didn’t learn her lesson from messing around with older guys.

We cut to the hospital where Craig is complaining to Jimmy about the fact that he thought that Spinner was going to walk out of their band practice. Jimmy should have told him, “I’m crippled you fool!” But all he says is that Spinner walks out on a lot of things. Craig and his greasy 70’s hair then says that Ashley has been there at practice and Jimmy get’s wise to them. Craig denies that there’s anything going on, but Jimmy doesn’t buy it one bit.

Oh lord so the student teacher is teaching the yoga class and both Marco and Paige are staring at his ass. Marco whispers to her, “Check out his hot bulge too.” He comes along and helps Paige with her technique and she practically has an orgasm right then and there. After that Paige tells Hazel that he was flirting with her, Hazel thinks that she’s insane and that he’s just the teacher.

Back in Craig’s garage the band is still arguing over the direction their band should go. Craig is singing some lyrics and even Marco thinks that they’re fucking gay. He mentions that he thought that it was a rock band and the lyrics sound soft. Craig being an “artist” says that they need to change and not stay the same. Spinner decides to come by and brings his skank Manny along too. You can tell that both Craig and Ashley are annoyed that she’s there. Hey she was the reason that they broke up because she got pregnant with Craig’s love child. Craig asks Spinner what Manny is doing there and being a dickhead he says that if Ashley is there, so could Manny.

At the movie theater Paige is bothering Alex about Mr O and if she has a chance of boning him. Just then he comes walking on by and says hello. But wow, he says that she’s his favorite student. Going by that Paige is convinced that the guy wants to pork her and Alex tells her to go for it.

At Degrassi ,Manny is wearing a cowboy hat that all sluts and skanks like to wear. It’s like a part of their official uniform. Spinner and Marco are still annoyed that Ashley is in the band and has any input. So it seems like they’re there for an interview with Liberty and her pirate nerd newspaper. The guys get instantly annoyed because Craig and Ashley are the only ones answering the questions. I guess they think they’re Degrassi’s answer to the White Stripes, except they suck. Big time.

In the next scene Spinner and Marco decide to confront Craig about Ashley and how she’s ruining the band. Craig of course get’s all pissed off and says that they did agree to her being in the band, which is a big lie. Marco then points out that she lost the contest fair and square and why should she take Jimmy’s place now that he’s basically Professor X. Craig full of attitude tries to talk to them, but they both say that if he doesn’t get rid of her, then they’re quitting the band.

So he decides to do just that. But he can’t because she just has to be all sweet about being there while they’re recording their shitty single. Craig decides to just kiss her and she leaves looking pleasantly surprised. She’s all, “I was assaulted, it was fun!”

At the Dot the boys think that he finally got rid of Ashley, but that’s when Craig tells them that he and Ashley are back together again. Even though no such thing has happened. Predictably they leave even more pissed off than before.

We go back to Paige’s stupid subplot and we can tell that she wants his hands all over her body again. He ignores her and she get’s annoyed when he compliments Heather Saint Claire instead of her. After class Hazel is telling her that she’s insane and she needs to stay out of it. Mr Wonderful passes by and Paige over hears that he’s meeting one of his bro’s for drinks at some bar. Paige decides to go, even though she’s underage.

What a surprise, we see Ashley talking to Ellie and she’s just gushing over the fact that Craig kissed her. While all this is going on, Ellie is packing up because Sean left her high and dry, so she’s fucked there. And because of that Ellie is now a man hater and says that guys suck and that they enjoy playing with a woman’s emotions.

At the Dot Craig and Ashley decide to have a talk over what happened and of course she takes Ellie’s shitty advice and she pretty much says that they made a mistake and that at least they still have the band. You can tell that Craig got his heart broken but he’s staying strong.

Outside some bar or club Paige is showing this big Asian guy a fake ID and we don’t get to see if it worked or not. I’m guessing that it did.

We go back to Craig and the band and Spinner is escalating the bullshit by saying since Craig is always changing things, he’s having Manny now joining the band as well and she’s going to be playing the tambourine. Marco makes his little statement by busting out his accordion. Ashley walks in and wants to know why they’re making so many changes because they’re recording their song the next day. Spinner asks Craig why and of course he doesn’t answer so they go on to play some truly shitty music. Not that big of a change really.

So yeah, Paige and Hazel managed to get into the bar and Paige is acting like an idiot saying all loud that she can’t believe that they made it in. Right away she spies Mr O and she actually goes up and talks to him and offers to buy him a drink. Just then his really hot girlfriend comes along and proceeds to humiliate Paige by pointing out that Paige has a giant crush on him. Paige meanwhile wants to ooze down into the floor because she’s so embarrassed. His girlfriend though acts like a real bitch and pretty much tells that bartender that Paige is just a kid and they get kicked out. I gotta say, the girlfriend showed how insecure she really is by doing that shit.

Finally it’s time for the guys to record their single and they’re all still acting ridiculous over Ashley being there. Not that I blame them though. Ashley makes things worse because she just has to open her mouth and asks if they’re really going to record the song that way and then asks Craig, like he’s making him take her side. Everyone leaves and Craig buckles under the pressure and kicks Ashley out of the band. Ashley near tears asks if that’s what the whole band wants and he says yes, except for him.

So they’re recording the song they did last year at the contest and they’re much better with Ashley not being there. As he’s singing the song he realizes that he fucked up again by breaking her heart. He stops singing near the end and he tells the guys that he has to go and be with Ashley because apparently the whole fucking world revolves around her, messing up their recording time.

Craig chases after Ashley telling her that he chooses her over the band and the recording studio. Reasoning that the recording studio will always be there, but it won’t. Yeah, that really was his big chance because Craig sucks as a musician, so does Ashley. Ashley makes the situation confusing because she acts like she doesn’t like Craig in that way and he goes away dejected, but then she smiles and tells him that he’s not going away that easy. She is so annoying with her indecision at times. God, Craig has a huge zit on his face, he needs to pop it or something. I thought Sean was Degrassi’s resident pizza face. Anyways, the episode ends with the both of them smooching and becoming a couple again.

I didn’t care for this episode, because really, the whole Craig and Ashley thing has been played out already. It’s like I said at the beginning of the review, who cares about them. I didn’t like the Paige subplot either, I was all, “Yeah, it bored me.” But I guess that’s it for the Downtown Sasquatch.

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Season 4, Episode 6, “Islands In The Stream”

Toby and Rick have a contest to see which one is the more unfuckable person at Degrassi while Spinner and Paige have more relationship problems because of who else, Manny.

Pre-Credit Opener: We come upon Paige working at the Dot and she’s doing a horrible job of being a waitress. During her break, Paige is complaining about how hard the job is and the fact that she only made about 67 cents in tips. That’s when the manager comes along and all full of anger pretty much just fires her on the spot with no explanation at all.

At his locker, you can tell that Manny has now set her skanky eyes on Spinner by flirting with him about sun burns. Turns out she burnt her cooch while he burned his arms and back. Craig comes by and gets pissed off when he sees the picture of Spinner and Manny flirting at the car wash. How is he now just seeing this? You’d think that he would have noticed it in his little dark room. But anyways, he comes along and cock blocks Spinner by interrupting. After Manny leaves he tells him that he’s warning him about Manny. Spinner tells him to go away and to mind his own business. I have to point out that Spinner looks like a surfer dude with that mane he’s been sporting lately.

In the MI lab, Snake wants everyone to partner up for a quiz show. Toby tries to get with Emma but not wanting to be with Degrassi’s high geek, she tells him that she’s already with some girl named Heather. Rick and Toby start to go over Rick’s creepy hottest chicks of Degrassi list. Emma is his number three choice, while Mrs Hatzilakos is his number one for obvious reasons. Snake comes long and then makes them partners for the quiz show.

In the cafeteria some girl causes Paige to crash into Ashley and Hazel making Spinner laugh his ass off. He then starts acting like a bigger dick head by just grabbing her fries and treating her like shit. Stupid Paige lets him get away with it because she did wreak his car. But it was a piece of shit anyways.

At the mall Paige is having an interview at the movie theater. The manager asks her how she is at being a team player. She says that she’s all about that, but her heart drops when she see’s that Alex works there with her 70’s movie theater uniform on.

The next day Toby tries to compliment Emma, but please, she just blows him off because she has a pair of tits on her and she knows that she’s better than him now. Rick comes along laughing at his humiliation. Seems like these two are bonding over their love for hot chicks that they’ll never have and for having lack of friends. I love how when Toby mentions Hazel, Rick says that she has a couple of fine attributes. You know, because she’s busty as hell. Oh lord, they set up a geek contest and the prize is a set of role playing dice. That’s how you know that these two are at the bottom of the barrel there. The contest is whoever get’s the most kisses from their lists wins.

The next scene Paige is telling Spinner that she doesn’t want to ask Alex for help getting a job at the theater because they both hate each other. She bites the bullet and says that she knows that they’ve had their issues. Alex tells her that it’s ok and she’s put a bad word in for her. Hey, I say she deserves it for being such a shithead to everyone she doesn’t like.

In the science lab Toby comes panting up to Emma and pretty much just tells her about their contest. She just rolls her eyes and gives him a peck on the cheek. But shit, I would say that that shouldn’t count because it’s not really a kiss. Right away Toby starts to make fun of Rick and calls him a loser. But please, Toby is a losers loser. Emma then gives Rick a peck too because she feels sorry for him. Right away Rick laughs like a maniac and says that they need a new game the next day to break the tie.

In the hallway Paige is complaining how she can’t find a job to help pay for Spinner’s car. Hazel says that she’s better than that and him. Paige doesn’t know what she’s talking about. That’s when Hazel says that she misses the old Paige who wouldn’t take any of that bullshit from Spinner. Paige is still willing to give him a free pass until Hazel shows her the picture of Manny and Spinner dry humping at the car wash.

Now full of piss and vinegar she pays Spinner a visit at the Dot. He can’t help being a jerk and mentions when people usually get fired from a place, they don’t come back. She shows him the picture and he just tries to play it off that it was just a hug. Now going into a rage, she grabs him and says that that is a hug. Spinner is all full of pain because of his sun burn. She tells him that all he has to do is tell her that it was nothing and it’ll be fine. She’s shocked to see that he doesn’t say anything.

Out in the hallway Jay is still slamming Rick against the lockers because why not. Toby helps him up and they get back to their stupid little game. Rick tells him that the new rules are that whoever get’s the most kisses in a day wins and get’s the dice. Toby slams his elbow against the lockers in front of Manny. She asks him what’s wrong and he says that he hurt his elbow. Being a little hoe she gives him a kiss where it hurts. If Toby was smart he should have pointed this his penis. Manny wouldn’t have a problem kissing that too. OH!!!

At cheer practice Paige is giving Manny all sorts of shit because she hates her now. Funny how there’s not an adult there as their coach, its always been Paige running that squad. Spinner comes along with some flowers and admits that he had some guilty thoughts about Manny. That means that he jacked off to her already. Anyways, he gives her the flowers and Paige being dumb takes him back. She get’s a phone call and she got the job at the theater.

Continuing their stupid game, Toby hides the dummy for giving mouth to mouth in his locker while Rick is clearly struggling to get a kiss. Too bad he’s mellow now or else he would just push them down so they can crack their heads open and then he would be able to get a kiss. But seriously, what was Rick thinking? He should know that everyone at the school hates his guts. He’s so pathetic that he’s even offering five bucks, but he’s going nowhere fast. Toby meanwhile is getting mouth to mouth from someone who looks like Lizzie McGuire and then sets up a kissing booth to help sick kittens. Rick get’s pissed but still tries to get a kiss, too bad every female is just ignoring him. Toby feels bad for him because he’s a much bigger loser than he is, even though he should be rejoicing at the fact.

We then come upon Darcy and it seems like Toby told her about the contest and that Rick is losing big time because he’s a huge angry nerd who no one likes. She mentions that she’s noticed that everyone keeps pushing him into lockers and wants to know why he’s hated. Toby just ignores her and pays her five dollars. Darcy then comes along and turns on her charm by asking Rick about his glasses. He gets all happy when she says that she likes them. That’s when he mentions the contest and right way she offers to help. She kisses him, but she did it in front of Jay. Uh oh.

At Paige’s locker Hazel is continuing to give her opinion about Spinner treating her like shit. Not wanting to hear it, she tells her to back off or else she’s going to start doing the same thing about her relationship with Jimmy. I don’t know why she said that for, Jimmy seems to be treating her right.

Of course Paige is terrible at her new job as well. She’s lucky that Alex is being decent by giving her a break and actually helping her out by giving her pointers on what she’s doing wrong. Spinner and the boys come along and he can’t help acting like a complete dick with her in front of everyone. You can tell that both Craig and Alex got annoyed with him. And to prove the point Alex says she used to be afraid of her. But since she’s a coward and a suck, not anymore. She goes on to say that if any boyfriend of hers talked to her like he did to Paige, he would have been dumped already.

Seems like the movie is over and it’s obvious that there’s tension between Craig and Spinner about Manny. Still acting like a shithead he heads on over to the counter to fuck with Paige some more. She asks him for a ride home after work, but he says that he doesn’t want to because she doesn’t get off for another two hours. Craig makes fun of him for pretty much being a shitty boyfriend. Spin says something lame and Craig says, “Nice comeback genius.” Spinner then slaps Craig twice and walks away. Craig like his dad goes into a rage and hulks out. He shoves Spinner saying that he was always jealous of Manny and him. Spinner fucks things up by saying that he’s now jealous of Manny and himself. Paige hears that and you can tell get’s her heart broken. The guys meanwhile have started to fight, and Paige is trying to break it up saying that she works there. The manager comes out and says that she called security and they book it. Poor Paige then get’s fired even though she had nothing to do with it.

Back at Degrassi Toby has won the contest and the dice. Rick doesn’t care because someone really hot, meaning Darcy kissed him and he’s on cloud nine. Until Jay comes along and Rick leaves before he get’s his ass kicked again. Jay tells Toby that word around the school is that some hot new chick is being stalked by a psycho named Rick. Man, Rick was fast to act like a stalker motherfucker. But it’s in his blood, he can’t help it. To punish Toby for getting Darcy to kiss him, Jay throws him in a locker. Shit, I like Jay in this episode for that act alone!

In the cafeteria Alex comes by and tells Paige that she talked the manager into giving her a second chance. Spinner then lamely says that he’s sorry for getting her fired. She tells him not to worry about it because she still has a job. She then throws in his face what he said about Manny. He tries to play the victim again, but she’s had it with his shit. Especially because he wasn’t fighting over her, he was fighting over that whore Manny. She then says that they’ll figure out a payment system to pay him back, but they’re done. What a surprise, Manny ruined yet another relationship there at Degrassi. Her sexual powers are just too great for the guys there.

So this was another good one I think. Guys, Spinner just showed all of us how not to treat a girlfriend. If you treat her like shit, eventually they’re going to dump your ass. Unless they like being treated like garbage, which is sad, but there’s a lot of people out there like that, girls and guys actually. The Rick, Toby subplot was pretty good too because it shows that he’s still getting bullied and it’s actually getting worse too. Next week I’ll try to have the school shooting two parter up because it’s a good one!


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Season 4, Episode 4, “Mercy Street”

Uh oh, Rick the woman beater returns in this episode.

Pre-Credit Opener: Right off the bat Paige is super pissed that Rick has returned to Degrassi and you can tell by how flared her nostrils are. Marco, Spinner and Alex are pissed off as well. Emma not minding her business asks who he is. Paige tells her and reminds us all how Rick used to beat up Terri and she hates his guts because of it. Even though Paige treated her like shit all the time, but whatever. Emma becomes extremely upset when Spinner tells her that he’ll be in her grade starting the next day. This is trouble because a self righteous Emma is always a bad thing.

After the credits we see that JT is hanging out with Manny at Liberty’s. The reason they’re hanging out with her? Because she has a hot tub. JT still acting extremely immature asks Manny to pull his finger and he butt dusts her right then and there. Manny then asks Liberty if it’s cool for them to even be there, Liberty just tries to sound cool by saying that somethings you have to say what the heck. Seriously, she said heck and couldn’t even say hell. Anyways, Manny tries to ask if Emma can come over too. But Liberty still hates her for what she did in the previous episode. Manny has real nerve bringing Emma up since it was Manny who snitched Emma to Liberty. Oh lord, Liberty’s younger brother Johnny Mathis comes out with a ironing board and says that it’s their new diving board. JT climbs on top of it and of course it doesn’t collapse because he weighs a hundred and nothing. Still acting like a jackass he’s about to dive into the hot tub and that’s when Johnny Mathis pulls his trunks down and Manny gasps. Either because it’s the first time she saw his junk, or he has a real small dick. Either way, JT is humiliated.

Back at Degrassi Emma is hanging out with the upper class men for some reason. Rick comes by and tries to make small talk with them. Emma now taking up Terri getting beaten up as a cause even though she didn’t know her stops Rick from walking to class. Raditch tells her to step aside and she speaking for everyone says that they don’t want him there. Raditch knowing that she has a new cause every week tells her that it’s not one of her crusades and to stay out of it.

In the hallway JT is trying to get a date going with Manny, but she doesn’t seem to want to hang out with him. JT notices that ever since she saw his penis, she’s been acting differently. JT gives her a smootch but Manny breaks up their kiss because here comes Craig. They have some small talk, completely ignoring JT.

In the locker room JT is pissed that Manny still seems to be into Craig. Toby and Johnny Mathis (Danny) both say that Manny is hot and that maybe she is into Craig still. Toby also points out that they’ve only kissed a couple of times. Just then Craig and the other dudes come out of the shower and that’s when JT tells him that Manny is his girlfriend now and to respect that. Craig says that he does and that’s when he takes his towel off to dry his hair. JT immediately stares at his cock and Craig instantly asks him what the fuck he’s looking at. Spinner, being the worst person to do that in front of just laughs and says, “What?!”

After those hijinks, Rick comes up to Paige at her locker and tries to apologize for pushing Terri with all his strength and causing her to hit her head on a random piece of concrete block and split her fucking head open. Seriously, if you don’t know, that’s what he did to her. He tells her that he’s in counseling and asks how Terri is. Paige eyes full of tears goes to the bathroom to cry her eyes out. Emma not minding her business asks her what’s wrong and Paige is upset that Rick is back at the school and no one can do anything about it. Emma tells her that they’ll handle it, vigilante Degrassi style!

At the Dot Emma is hanging out with the older crowd and you can tell that she loves it. They don’t enjoy their time together though because that’s when Rick walks in. Everyone get’s pissed off and Emma wanting to make them like her goes up to Rick and tells him that no one wants him there. Rick just says that he has a right to an education. Emma tells him to go to another school or he’ll be sorry. He says that she can’t touch him or Raditch will get on her ass. She says he’s right, but since they’re not at school Emma grabs him by the arm and drags his ass out of the door. Paige and the rest love what Emma just did. But not as much as Emma is loving herself at the moment.

Back at Degrassi Emma is promoting her newest cause, Students Against Violence, or SAV. Nah, I just came up with that. Sean and Ellie come along and are annoyed that both Paige and Emma want to make life a living hell for Rick.

Oh boy, in the restroom JT has gotten himself a penis pump because he figures that Craig has a bigger Johnson than he does and that’s why Manny won’t bang him.

We get a montage where Rick is now feeling the pressure because everyone there hates him with a fury. The girls start to block his path, no one will let him sit with them at lunch. Shit even the metal looking guy and his mullet friend are shoving him against the lockers. But uh oh. It seems like Emma is starting to break and feel bad for him now.

In Mrs Kwan’s room Spinner is reading some rhymes from the legendary Kid Erich. He tries to say that he loves girls with a bootylicous ass but Mrs Kwan stops him. Rick then volunteers to read his thoughts from Gandhi of all people. He starts to talk about forgiveness, but Spinner is thinking, fuck that noise. He throws a paper at Rick and everyone laughs at him. Take that Rick and Gandhi!

In the hallway Manny see’s JT and she tells Liberty that she knows that he’s going to come up to talk to her. She wonders why he doesn’t leave her alone. Liberty points out that he is her boyfriend, but if she can’t stand being with him, they should just break up. JT of course comes up and asks her if she would like to come over to his house after school. Manny tells him yes, so going by that, I guess she’s going to break up with him.

Elsewhere Rick tries to give Emma a check, but Emma all full of herself says that she can’t accept it because the whole ribbon campaign is about him. Emma is then blown away that it’s about $500 dollars. Alex comes along and tells him that they don’t want his money. Rick then leaves when she asks him if he’s going to hit her too. Emma being greedy and stupid asks for the check, but that’s when Alex rips it up. Emma all annoyed says that maybe if she cared about the cause she wouldn’t have done that. Alex gets in her face and asks her what she knows about it. She then asks her if she’s ever had to ice down her mom’s face because some scumbag boyfriend beat her up. Or lay awake all night listening to her cry. Alex says, “I didn’t think so.” and leaves all annoyed. So yeah, big surprise there that Alex comes from a horrible home life.

At JT’s room, JT has put on some sexy music and dimmed down the lights. It’s as awkward as it can get and she asks him if he’s nervous. He tries to kiss her and he’s all sweaty and nasty. Manny being grossed out says she has to go to the bathroom. JT takes that as an opportunity to pump up his wang. Manny finally getting the courage to break up with him goes back into the room and catches him. Got damn that’s embarrassing.

Back at the Dot Rick walks in and Paige is instantly annoyed asking what he’s doing back there again. Alex being a shit starter says that he’s probably there to see his new crush Emma. Paige gets pissed and asks her if she’s starting to wimp out on her by feeling sorry for him. Rick makes shit worse by going up to her and saying, “Good afternoon Emma.” Emma now trying to prove to everyone that she doesn’t feel bad for him over does it by tripping Rick and humiliating him in front of everyone. Rick seems to go into a rage as he’s getting up. Jay seeing this takes Rick outside to kick his ass and does just that. Plus he breaks his glasses by stepping on them. Rick all defiant asks who else wants a shot at him. Alex says that she wants to hit him next and here’s where Emma fucks up by stopping her. Everyone of course get’s angry at her and she’s as hated as Rick is. Man, I just noticed, Rick is a hairy motherfucker. He looks like Teen Wolf in this shot.

The next day at school, Manny comes dressed like a pimp and she tells JT to go away. JT says that he was just trying to live up to Craig. Stupid JT thinks it’s because Craig has a bigger dick than him. Manny all annoyed tells him that it’s not his dick. It’s the way that JT acts. Which is really immature and Craig was never like that. But bullshit, Craig has acted like a jackass in the past too. JT now desperate because he doesn’t want to lose a hot piece like Manny says that he can change. But Manny tells him that it’s over.

We see that Emma is now on the outs with Paige and her group of friends. Rick comes up to her with some old nerd glasses and he tries to apologize. She tells him to stop. The only reason she did what she did was because it was wrong, it still doesn’t mean that she likes him or are friends. that being said, she asks him why the fuck he came back to the school, knowing that he’s hated by all. The episode ends with Rick saying that he likes it there and that’s he changed. He goes on to say that he’ll show them how wrong they are about him. Emma tells him that they’re not interested. Rick being delusional says that they will be some day. Now if you’ve seen the show, especially this season, you know how foreshadowing that statement was.

So this was a pretty good episode. Entertaining as hell and really makes you go, hmm. Not the JT and Manny part. He was annoying and I’m glad Manny dumped him finally. But the whole Rick thing. Sure he’s a dickhead that deserves everything what’s happening to him, but at the same time, you kind of feel sorry for him. Especially with the bullying. But this is just the beginning. Things are going to come to a head with this storyline.


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Season 4, Episode 1, “Ghost In The Machine, Part 1”

Finally we’ve made it to season 4 of Degrassi. But right off the bat we begin a two episode arc that I really hated when I first saw it.

Pre-Credit Opener: Paige, Spinner and Craig are at Joey’s used car lot where Spinner has just purchased a real piece of shit. Since this is a new season and year everyone is looking different. Spinner now has longer stoner hair while Craig is desperately trying to make himself look like he came from the 70’s. After they ride like the wind across Toronto, Spinner parks the car at Paige’s house to remark what a great day he’s having. But oh uh, the Mounties come along and Spinner is already shitting bricks. But it turns out that they’re looking for Paige. The cop gives her a notice to appear in court because of Dean raping her. Man justice works really slow in Canada. To show how scared she is to go, Paige is flaring her nostrils like crazy. We get the same opening credits, but this time it’s another singer and it sounds more like a dance song now.

In the next scene, they’re at the drive in watching a really low budget zombie movie. Paige is so scared she drops pop corn all over Spinner’s car. Oh lord, instead of hugging Spinner, Marco is in the drivers seat and Spinner is in the back because they reason they wouldn’t be able to see behind him. Needless to say, Spinner is beyond annoyed that Marco is there cock blocking him.

We the cut away to Dylan’s moving day at Toronto university I’m assuming and Marco of course can’t help lift Dylan’s massive pleasure chest of wonders because he’s basically a girl. Spinner meanwhile is being a real sour shoes and after Paige asks him what’s wrong he goes off on the fact that they’re never alone. She promises that things will change once the trial is over with.

And yup, what a surprise. Dean is also going there, pledging at a frat. I love how he’s acting like a big shot with his ugly yellow corvette. Being the ultimate asshole that he is, he spots Paige and actually brings up the court case and tries to make her feel guilty about him raping her. Shit, he’s even trying to get her to not testify against her. Fucking scumbag.

Well enough with that shit. It’s finally the first day of school and Emma, Liberty and Toby are all saying that they ended their relationships that Summer. Toby is no big surprise though. Kendra must have seen him for what he really is, which is Degrassi’s resident loser.

Inside, Manny and JT are making fun of the Freshmen coming in. Do they call 9th and 10th grader’s Freshmen and Sophomore’s in Canada? I really want to know. Anyways, this kid who looks like 50’s crooner Johnny Mathis actually tries to pick up on Manny. I guess he saw that JT really isn’t a man, so he’d give it a shot.

At Craig’s locker, he’s surprised to see that someone has actually decorated it with a bunch of musical themed birthday decorations. He bumps into Ashley and he just assumes that it was her who did it. Marco comes along dressed in a suit that’s way too big on him and it turns out that it was Marco. Gee, why am I not surprised.

Else where Spinner is having a dilemma if he should put Mandy Moore or Hilary Duff inside his locker. He goes with Lizzie Maguire because he says she looks like Paige. No she doesn’t. As we all know, Paige looks like Miss Piggy. Paige comes along and says that she’d rather looks like Lindsay Lohan. Jimmy points out that he thought she had court that day, but she says it was the next day. Spinner asks her what’s that supposed to mean, and Paige being stupid says that she’s not going to the trial. Spinner get’s pissed at her and says that he can’t take all that bullshit anymore.

After school Spinner mentions the fact that she said that everything would be ok after the trial. In Spinner’s point of view, now that she’s not going to the trial, her acting weird when she’s alone with him will never end. Long story short, he wants to have sex and he now knows that it’ll never happen. She explains that it happened three years ago and that she’s moved on. Spinner for some incredible reason believes her.

Haha. At Joey’s, Joey and the family are watching a video from Caitlin where apparently she’s in some jungle or island country. But it’s pretty obvious that it’s just some palm trees in front of a green screen. Craig not caring about Caitlin’s birthday wishes want’s his big birthday gift and it’s an envelope. At first he’s all, “What the fuck!?”, but he see’s that it’s actually ten grand from his dead dad. Turns out when Craig turns 18 he’ll get his full inheritance.

At some random swamp, Spinner and Paige are engaged in some heavy petting. But it’s too much for Paige because she’s having some serious flashbacks about Dean raping her. Obviously she’s not over it because she keeps saying that she said no. Finally getting the guts, she tells him that she’s going to court and Spinner being the loyal boyfriend is going with her.

The next day Ashley comes along and tries to talk to Craig about her being weird the other day. She goes on to say that she would love to be friends with him again. So burying all that ill will, they start to talk about Craig’s dad leaving him all that money. Ashley is blown away hearing that and you can tell she wants him to buy her something. Craig goes on to say that Joey gave him a lecture about investing the money for his future. Craig being stupid and bitter says that he’s just going to rip up the check. Yeah right, what teenager would ever do something like that? Ashley actually being sane tells him that he can have a lot of fun with that money. You can tell that it never occurred to Craig to go on a shopping spree.

It’s finally time for Degrassi’s trial of the century and Paige get’s instantly nervous when she see’s Dean arrive in his Corvette. Spinner says that he hates Dean, that’s when Paige tells him to go home because he’s going to be hearing all the awful details of her rape. But Spin is going to stay by his woman.

Inside Paige is being grilled by Dean’s lawyer. Basically she’s implying that Paige wanted to have sex with Dean because she was dressed like a slut and was flirting with him that whole night. Even getting felt up by him and that she liked it. The lawyer then asks how it was possible that Dean opened a condom wrapper and got it around his dick with one hand. Paige should have just said that it was his superior raping skills that made it all possible. Paige keeps saying that she said no and that he over powered her by his creepiness. The lawyer then fucks up by asking her how many men she had sex with. Paige now full of piss and vinegar says that the incident was her only experience with sex and if she had the choice she wouldn’t have lost her virginity to someone old like Dean. I mean, look at him, he looks 30.

We switch scene’s and Craig is at a guitar shop buying a bunch of CD’s and that’s when Ashley finds a guitar from the 60’s. The guy at the shop is cringing at Ashley holding it because apparently it’s worth a lot and tells her to put it back down. Craig acting like Wayne from Wayne’s World smugly says that he’s going to buy it.

Back at court, the judge who looks like that old skeevosa Dr Sally arrives to give her verdict. She starts by saying how brave it was for Paige to be there at court and that these are the type of cases that keep her up at night. Having said that, she goes on to say that because there were no eye witnesses or physical evidence, Dean is going to get off Scott free. See? What did I tell you a couple of seasons ago? All of Paige’s inaction would come back to bite her in the ass. If she would have gone right away to be examined Dean would be going to prison instead. The insult to injury is that Dean is laughing his ass off at her because he got away with it. If Nancy Grace was there covering this she’d be saying, “Somewhere out there, the devil is dancing.” The episode ends with Paige’s shocked face.

So now that I’m watching this again, this episode wasn’t too bad. Hardly anything to complain about really. Sure people get mad at Dean, I sure know I hate the character, but this sort of shit happens all the time. Leave it to Degrassi to show that there’s injustices in this world. The main one being that Craig came into money. How unfair is that?


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Season 3, Episode 22, “The Power Of Love”

So we finally made it to the season finale peeps. I think it took me over a year to finish season 3. Mostly because I would lose interest in this blog and then I would start up again because I was bored and had nothing better to do.

Pre-Credit Opener: It’s the end of the school year and everyone at Degrassi is cleaning out their lockers so they can get the hell out of there. Jimmy and Hazel come along and Jimmy is going on about going to a basketball camp in LA for the Summer. Hazel points out that he’s spoiled as hell. But he doesn’t want to go because he’ll miss Hazel and those breasts of hers. They run into Paige and Spinner and that’s when Jimmy once again flaunts his wealth by saying that he’s getting a limo for Marco’s Gay Indian dance happening that night and dinner is on him.

Sean walks into Snake’s office and Snake informs him that his grades are in the gutter and that he’s basically going to fail the class. I love how he blames Snake for him failing even though it’s his own fault for being a dumbass. But Snake having mercy tells him that he can pass if he does a project where he’s cataloging gaseous anomalies in the auto shop.

At the Jeremiah household Caitlin comes along knocking on the door like she’s the damn police. They start to have a conversation about her moving into Joey’s dump. I would think it’s a major downgrade for Caitlin because I’m assuming she has a much better place than Joey. You can tell that she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t give him an answer, the pretense being that she’s late for a meeting, but really she just wants to leave Joey’s. But she says they’ll talk later at dinner.

We cut to Jimmy’s and it seems like he’s wearing a female’s Indian clothing. I can’t believe that anyone would go to these length’s to actually dress up for Marco’s dance. I know I wouldn’t. But this is Degrassi and they’re going to shove diversity down our throats whether we want it or not.

They walk outside and a beat up 80’s era prom limo pulls up and holy shit! Look who it is. Billy Ray Cyrus, aka Cyrus! It’s pretty sad that he had to resort to having a small cameo in Degrassi. Jimmy is beyond disappointed, and embarrassed that he got such a piece of shit limo service for him and his friends.

At Caitlin’s TV station. Caitlin is busying customizing his and her’s towels on the computer instead of working. Her gay co-worker comes by and she tells him about Joey asking her to move in with her. He says congratulations, but also says that he wanted to tell her that anyways because the station approved for her to go around the globe covering Aids. Caitlin is ecstatic at first, but then get’s bummed out because of Joey. And Goddamn, she has to leave that night and be gone for about nine months. So after all that waiting, which was a year she said, she tells the guy no because that’s the power of love damn it!

Back at the MI lab Snake is giving Sean a break and he’s passing him with the lowest passing grade ever. Snake then says that he has to go to chaperon Gay Indian dance and Sean says that he’s not going because it’s not his scene. Seriously, it’s not anyone’s scene. Snake then decides to have a heart to heart moment with Sean telling him that he used to come to him with his problems, but that’s it’s ok if he doesn’t want to talk anymore. But he just wants him to know that he’ll always be there for him. Sean not being able to take the guilt any longer admits to him that he stole his computer, but that was because he was angry at the world and getting influenced by Jay. Snake looks like he wants to murder Sean, but let’s face it, Sean could easily kick his ass too. All Sean can lamely say is that he’s sorry for what he did.

So wow, we’re back to the same restaurant that we’ve seen in Marco’s first date and the time that Spinner and Paige skipped out on lunch. I guess Degrassi only has one fancy restaurant in the whole area. Spinner and Paige spot the gay waiter and they are terrified of him. Oh lord. Seriously? Caitlin and Joey just happen to be dining there too. They talk about her decision and she tells Joey yes. But she then mentions her big time assignment and that she’d have to leave that night. Joey can’t understand why Caitlin would turn it down and tells her to accept it because it’s a big opportunity. She says all sad, “I thought you were my big opportunity.” Joey seems to be doing the right thing by supporting her. But Caitlin being insane seems to take it that Joey doesn’t want her.

Finally it’s time for the dance and it’s as bad as you’d think. I love how Marco is subjecting everyone to his bullshit. But it seems like the lame Degrassi kids love it. Snake comes along dressed like a genie and over hears JT complaining about the drinks. So he makes a run to the store to get more ice. Uh oh, Ellie and Sean walk in dressed like they usually do. Sean tries to talk to Snake, but Snake doesn’t want to hear a thing from him.

Back at the fancy restaurant, the gay waiter comes along and leaves the check. It seems like he’s charged them triple because of Spinner and Paige skipping out. Jimmy for once not having enough has to borrow money from Hazel and he’s even more humiliated now. But it get’s even worse. Cyrus is being arrested for being a scumbag and now they have no ride. Or so they think. Cyrus being the big star that he is orders the police to drive them all to the dance and they do just that. Outside the school, Snake is losing it because his piece of junk car won’t start up. That’s when Sean comes along and offers to help him out.

We cut back to Caitlin at her TV station and Joey decides to confront her on why she’s acting like an ass. Near tears she tells Joey that if he really loved her, he wouldn’t want her to go. He tells her that he wants her to go because he does in fact love her. She brings up the past and says that he’s made promises before, promises that he didn’t keep. So the guy porked Tessa and got her pregnant. Move on Caitlin that was over ten years ago. But you can tell Caitlin is one to never forget. Joey then reassures her that he’ll be there waiting for her. I don’t know what she’s worried about. Joey is a bald loser who can barely take care of himself. He isn’t going anywhere.

Back at the school Sean tells Snake that he has a serious problem with his car and that he wants to help. Snake then throws in his face that he stole the laptop that Spike spent her savings on while he was fucking dying from cancer. Sean now near tears just talks shop because he wants to avoid the issue. Trying to make up for it he tells Snake that if he pays for the parts, then he’ll work on the car for free. Snake always wanting to have a suped up car like in the Fast and the Furious agrees.

Marco’s dreams are coming true by having everyone join him in his Bollywood fantasies. As he’s talking about King and Queen, the curtain that he’s been putting into the lights all episode long catch fire. So that’s it for Gay Indian dance because everyone rushes out in a panic to avoid the sprinklers and flames. At least they didn’t have something happen like in Carrie where half the cast died. Toby comes to mind. Rats. Just as everyone is coming out, that’s when Jimmy and his crew pull up to see that the school is on fire.

At the airport Joey and Caitlin say their goodbye’s and Joey says, “I guess this is it.” Caitlin says, “For now.” You can already tell that Joey regrets telling her to leave. It just hit me how absurd this show can be. Sure she can go on assignment to cover something. But for nine months? What the fuck is she going to do, take part in Aid’s research to find a cure? Caitlin can only do so much interviewing people and ruining their lives. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea that she go. Knowing her, she’ll start a revolution in some stinking shit hole of a country because she loves to rile people up.

In the last scene we go back to the school where the dance is now happening outside. Seems like everyone is having an even better time now that they don’t have to deal with Marco’s stupid theme. Jimmy for some reason is super bummed about how the evening has gone for him. Basically he just wanted to be a big shot and impress Hazel. But she knows that he’s loaded and she’s not going anywhere either. The episode ends with Sean and Snake being cordial towards each other.

So that’s it with this season. I would say that it was better than Season 1 and 2. But this still had it’s duds. Like the Breakfast club episode. As for this episode, it was alright. They did seem to wrap up season long story lines fast. You can tell it was rushed, like the whole thing with Sean and Snake. The Caitlin and Joey plot was a little ridiculous and really added nothing to the story. It’s just more Joey and Caitlin bullshit that’s been happening since the 80’s.


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Season 3, Episode 20, “I Want Candy”

And I’m back for another review of Degrassi, and too bad it’s an episode that I don’t really care for.

Pre-Credit Opener: Mrs Hotass is talking about a science test or homework that both Spinner and Paige think it’s too hard to take. Mrs H asks Paige to take the assignment to Ashley since she’s supposedly sick again. But everyone knows that she just has a case of emo supremo. Spinner says that he can’t take that shit and that’s when Paige tells him that they’re going to take the day off. So this is pretty much Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Degrassi style.

The next day it appears that Dylan is letting Paige borrow his car for her day off. She’s giving him the fake note that she forged to give to her teacher or whomever. Dylan makes her promise to bring back the car in one piece and with a full tank. Cheap bastard says that because the tank is practically empty to begin with.

Meanwhile at Spinner’s house, Spinner is going through the typical I have a fever routine for his mom. Kendra tries to be a snitch by telling his mom that he only dipped the anal thermometer into hot water, but he get’s rid of the evidence by drinking the scalding water. Her mom tells her to get her ass to school while she goes to what looks like the Canadian equivalent to Walmart.

Back in the mi lab Snake has finally grown his hair back, which wasn’t much to begin with. JT starts to bother Emma about the semi formal, but she seems to have her mind on something else. JT having no tact just goes on to ask her if Manny would want to go with him. Snake tells him to shut up, but JT still continues to bother her, getting them both in trouble and they now have to defrag the whole mi lab for lunch. At least Snake is still acting like a dick.

Oh Lord, Ashley is in her room singing a really shitty emo song. Her mom walks in annoyed as hell because Ashley sucks and she wants her to stop. But no, the real reason is that Ashley is missing a bunch of school and she’s afraid that she might fail her year. Her mom says something cryptic about something they talked about the other day and that it might just be the best thing for her. Hmm?

Elsewhere Spinner and Paige are trying to figure what to do with their day, but all of their suggestions are really lame. Ashley then calls them up for homework, that’s when Paige decides to bring Ashley along. I love how she just ignore’s Spinner’s protests because Ashley is a big downer that no one want’s to hang out with.

In Ashley’s room Paige is trying to get Ashley to go with them. Paige says that they all get a wish on what they want to do. Paige says that she wants to go to a really nice restaurant for lunch. Spinner for some reason seems to have a big obsession with playing mini golf in this one and that’s what he wants to do. Ashley of course goes the downer route and says that she wants to go visit Terri. I’m guessing that she still hasn’t gone to go visit her. Some friend Ashley is.

It seems like Terri has finally come out of her coma and as you’d expect, the small talk is very awkward. A nurse comes in to change Terri’s dressings and Ashley can’t take the carnage on her head and she leaves the room even more depressed now. How do you think Terri feels you selfish asshole? I have to point out that this was Terri’s final appearance in Degrassi and it sucks that it had to be such a brief one.

Back at Degrassi, Emma is getting major sass from Alex, Jay’s girlfriend. She seems to be shopping for hip hop clothes from a web site and Emma can’t defrag the computer. On Snake’s laptop JT has discovered Snake’s will. Right away you can tell that Emma is assuming the worst. At least he didn’t find some fucked up hardcore porn on the thing.

At the restaurant Spinner is getting tired of Ashley being a huge buzzkill. But then again, he is acting like an immature ass in front of everyone. Oh look who it is, it’s the gay waiter that Marco’s dad made fun of. Spinner tries to get a beer, but the guy isn’t having it and gives them all three ginger ales. Ashley goes on to say that seeing Terri and the gore coming out of her head made her lose her appetite. Paige tells her that getting down about it won’t make it better. Ashley feeling sorry for herself says that the whole year has been a big cluster fuck and that next year she’s going to a different school. I couldn’t help but say, “Finger’s crossed!”

In the next scene, Paige is annoyed with Spinner because he’s elated to hear that Ashley is transferring to another school. She goes on to say that she’s her friend and that she had a really tough year. That’s funny coming from someone who made her life a living hell in the 2nd season. Ashley comes back and she tells them that Mr Raddich is there on a hot lunch date. On that note they just leave the place without paying the bill. Mightily pissing off the gay waiter.

We then get a montage of Spinner playing goofy golf finally and then a shot of him crying at the movies. I get it Spin, you’d have to be a robot not to cry to Steel Magnolia’s. At an art museum Spinner has finally had enough of Ashley and her prudish, self important ways. He tells her that he was trying to get her to have a laugh and leaves super annoyed. Paige having enough tells her that she needs to get over Craig being a cheating bastard and to not take life so goddamn seriously. Then she pretty much tells Ashley that Craig cheated on her not just because he was horny, but because Ashley is a bore who you can’t have any fun with.

Back at Degrassi Emma is getting more and more anxious about Snake and is desperately looking for him. Alex takes that as the wrong time to start some shit with her. Emma not being in the mood starts to man handle her and knee’s her right in the face. She should have followed up on that and kicked her right in the cooch too. But she doesn’t and Alex bitch slaps the shit out of her.

At the local Degrassi mall, Ashley, Spinner and Paige stumble upon an Elvis impersonator contest. Ashley has finally succeeded, Spinner is now completely down from hanging out with her all day long and says that they just mopped around the entire city. Ashley hearing this tells them to have a seat and that she’ll get them a snack while Paige smacks Spinner for being so tactless. But hey, Ashley deserved it.

In the lobby Emma asks Snake how long he knew that the chemo failed, but he tells her that the Dr just told him to be prepared. He goes on to mention that that day he’ll be getting the results from the chemo and he’ll find out if it worked or not. Seems like it was Spike’s idea to keep Emma in the dark. Great idea Spike. Anyways Snake tells her that it’s pretty much life and death.

Back at the contest this Dweeb is singing Amen and Spinner can’t help feeling uncomfortable. Ashley then surprises them by being in the contest under the name of Elvira, Queen of Doom and sings her heart out Elvis style. For once Ashley seems to be happy.

At the Dr’s office Snake is finally getting the results back. After the Dr keeps them in agony with his technical talk, Snake, Spike and Emma are overjoyed to hear that the cancer has gone into remission and that he won’t be departing this dimension anytime soon.

In the next scene Ashley’s mom is pissed off at her because she wasn’t there when she got home. Ashley is all giddy because she finally got her head out of her ass and won third place. Before Paige and Spinner leave to pick up Dylan, they talk about how the day ended on a good note, even though she got a parking ticket. Ashley just throws it away and says that what Dylan doesn’t know won’t hurt him. At least until he get’s a court summons for not paying the ticket.

So yeah, I did not enjoy this episode at all. Ashley was just annoying as hell and I was glad that Paige finally told her that no one wants to hang out with a sour puss. But hey, at least Snake doesn’t have cancer anymore.


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Season 3, Episode, 18 “Rock and Roll High School”

Welcome back to another episode review of Degrassi. Call me crazy, but I’ve always enjoyed this episode for some inexplicable reason. I mean, it has shitty singing from both Craig and Ashley, but got damn it, this is still a good one.

Pre-Credit Opener: Marco, Spinner and Jimmy happen to find Craig just staring at an ad on the school wall. Turns out it’s for a battle of the bands and the prize is to win studio time to record a single that no one will ever hear. The dudes much like Joey Jeremiah have delusions of grandeur. Ashley comes along and tells the guys to get out of the way because they’re signing up too. Craig tries to make nice but Ashley is obviously still angry about Craig porking and getting Manny pregnant. She predicts that the girls are going to kick their ass off the stage.

In Joey’s garage Craig is struggling to write some lyrics and it’s clear that he’s talentless. The rest of the guys walk in and Marco is seriously wimping out telling everyone that the girls are really good at playing emo rock. Well they do have the power to ward off sexual predators. Craig tells the guys that there is no fucking way that he’s going to allow Ashley to beat them. They start to jam and Craig starts to go off on everyone because they suck. Jimmy tells him to chill out before he breaks a foot up in his ass.

At Degrassi, Paige is telling the girls that Terri is doing much better, she might even open her eyes soon. Shit that is not doing better. She’s basically an invalid. Ashley for some reason hasn’t even gone to see her. That’s pretty low considering they were once best friends. Mrs Kwan walks in and Ashley starts to read lyrics from a song she just wrote and what a surprise it’s a downer. Craig starts to giggle and this mightily pisses Ashley off. Outside of class Ashley explains to the girls that it’s about a girl who died in the Spanish Civil War. Out of all the wars that have happened why that one and what 15, 16 year old girl talks about shit like that? Ellie tells her that it sucked and that it’s supposed to be about something about her. Ashley makes the song about Craig, again, what a surprise.

We cut to the B plot and it involves Joey and Caitlin.  Joey’s busy getting his grocery’s out of the truck of his used car that he drives around from his lot and that’s when Caitlin arrives in a cab. Angela is so excited to see her that she drops and breaks the eggs. Joey is super pissed because this means that he has to go to the dollar store again to get more. She starts to cry rather badly because she’s a horrible actress and Caitlin tries to cheer her up by doing a cartwheel. Joey tries to show that he’s fun and does a hand stand. Then he promptly busts his ass and hurts his back bad.

At the Degrassi mall kiosk Ashley and Craig run into each other and he tries to apologize for what happened. But this is Craig we’re talking about and he only apologizes for making fun of her song and not fucking Manny’s brains out. She get’s even more offended and leaves huffing and puffing away. Craig reasons that Manny seduced him, so he’s blameless.

The next scene is at Joey’s house where he’s dying from his back pain. I’ve had that before and it’s the worst pain ever. So for once I sympathize with him. Angela playing with Caitlin jumps on Joey and hurts his back even more. He can’t stand no more so he’s sending Angela away to his mom’s until he feels better. But Caitlin says that she’ll stay and take care of the both of them. Joey pretty much says that she’s not up to taking care of Angela because she’s a pain in the ass. But still she insists on helping. So she yells out to Angela and with crazy eyes says that she’s taking care of them both.

I guess we’re at the auditions for the battle of the bands and the guys are just doing an instrumental because they have no lyrics to their song yet. Craig all nervous says that he’ll take care of it. Coach Armstrong announces the next group and they’re called Hell Hath No Fury. The girls then come on and Ashley proceeds to destroy Craig and his character.

I’m already bored with the Joey, Caitlin subplot. Angela is being a little shit again and tells Caitlin that she doesn’t want to eat the slop that she made for breakfast. So Caitlin being stupid makes her some pancakes instead of telling her to eat her bowl of crap.

In Snake’s class, Craig walks in all pissed off and he tells Ashley that her lyrics weren’t cool. I don’t know why he’s so upset for, their song wasn’t even that great. Ashley and Ellie starts to say that he’s so vain because he thinks that the song is about him. Craig points out the obvious that Ashley is a bitter angry person and if she wasn’t such a prude, he never would have banged Manny. Which is the truth. Ashley all sarcastic says, ” But I thought you loved her.” It seems like Craig is about to tell her to go fuck herself but Snake tells them to shut up.

In the next scene Craig is telling the guys that he’s out of the competition, but Spinner says that if Ashley wants a war then she has it. We then get a horrible, lame rap that it’s obvious that Drake wrote it. Basically it’s about how much Ashley sucks as a person. Marco of course doesn’t like it and he takes him outside for some advice. Marco’s solution? For Craig to scream all his stress out. Yeah, that’ll do it.

Back to Joey’s house, Angela is now acting like a spoiled little shithead and tells Joey that her day out shopping was just ok even though she got a lot of new toys courtesy of Caitlin. She then announces that she’s going outside to play, but Caitlin tells her to wash up since it’s almost dinner time. Angela ignores her and starts to go out anyways. that’s when Caitlin finally get’s pissed off and tells her to get her ass upstairs and to wash her filthy hands. Angela says, “I hate you.” and goes upstairs stomping her damn feet. Joey of course being a big push over does nothing to punish his rotten little daughter.

Finally it’s time for the Battle of the Bands and the girls are wearing Craig on their shirts and it seems like his face is melting like on Raiders of the Lost Ark. Craig has had it with her petty shit and he starts to whine about how she won’t stop making his life a living hell. She starts to go off on him and says that he broke her heart when he fucked Manny into motherhood and says that she wanted to die because she’s emo as hell. Craig says that he’s sorry and says how many times he has to say it. Ashley all full of sass says, “Until you mean it.”

Ashley and the girls are then seen performing their ode to Craig and the crowd is just loving it. Outside it seems that Craig has flown the coop because he’s nowhere to be seen. Spinner says that they’ll be ok and they’ll use his lyrics instead.

The MC for the event comes out and he looks like Anton LaVey from the Church of Satan. (Google him) Oh we finally find out what their band name is and it’s The Downtown Sasquatch. I gotta say, I like it. Spinner makes an ass of himself and before he can embarrass himself further Craig comes out with a sheet of paper. It’s obvious he finally wrote the lyrics for their song. It’s pretty much about how he just realized how much he hurt Ashley and he feels like a complete pile of shit because of it. It’s hilarious to me that he just barely figured out that he broke Ashley’s heart. I gotta say, even though Craig sucks, it’s a very catchy tune.

We close out the B plot and Joey tells Caitlin that kids like Angela need limits and be told what to do. Caitlin sort of feels better for yelling at his annoying kid.

And so after just two bands the battle of the bands is over and the dudes are triumphant! Ashley comes by and tells Craig that his lyrics were just right. So shit, it seems like finally Ashley is over her heart break. And if you ask me, it’s about time.

So yeah, like I said, this was a good, entertaining episode. Even though I hate myself for sort of liking Craig’s song. True, the whole subplot with Angela and Caitlin was irritating as hell, but it was small enough that it didn’t effect the rest of the episode.