Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 4, Episode 12, “Voices Carry, Part 2”

We continue Craig’s decent into madness with the conclusion of a not so great two part episode. Yeah that’s right, I said it. It fucking sucks!

Pre-Credit Opener: So it seems like Craig’s crazy ass has finally calmed down and he’s just sitting in his wreaked motel room spinning around his dead mom’s wedding ring on a table when the phone rings. Of course it’s Ashley and she says that she was trying to call him all night but he wasn’t picking up. Yeah, that’s because he had completely blacked out and was doing an all night rampage in his room. They have some small talk and that’s when stupid Ashley says that she doesn’t want to marry him now. She does want to marry him in the future though. Craig being depressed one second is now elated that she said that and his mood is now one of pure joy. What an asshole.

At the Dot Craig once again is looking hyper as hell when Marco walks in and Craig starts to say that he acted like an idiot. Marco knows all this already and wants to know what’s the matter with him. Craig tells him about Ashley and going to her gay dad’s wedding. I love how he called Marco because he wants help with shopping for a new expensive suit. Marco should be pissed off that he called him for that exact reason, but I think he loves shopping so much, he doesn’t give a shit.

Seems like Craig is going shopping using Joey’s gold credit card, I have no idea how Joey can even afford to have a credit card since he never ever has any money. Or perhaps, that’s why he’s in such deep shit all the time. During this whole montage Craig is picking out clothes that would make him look like a fucking clown. So good thing that Marco is there to shoot down all his horrible choices. After all that it’s obvious that he ran up a huge bill, but it looks like he just got the same suit that he wore in the previous episode.

Oh god!! I forgot about Liberty and Jt’s stupid ass subplot about the Degrassi school musical. They tell everyone about the Raditch song and they love it, but Manny and the rest of the drama club don’t want to sing it because they know that they’ll get into deep shit.

At the hotel elevator Craig is boring some poor east Indian guy to death with Ashley and her dad’s wedding. You can tell the guy just wants the doors to open so that he can get away from this yapping crazy fuck he’s stuck with. Mercifully the doors open and Craig get’s out, but that’s when he see’s the hotel security and staff looking at his destroyed room. Craig quickly get’s back in to hide from them.

Poor Jimmy is sort of enjoying his horrible hospital food when Craig bursts through the damn door and demands to use his bathroom so that he can change into his suit. He starts to change and Jimmy looks away because he doesn’t want to look at his wang. Craig meanwhile is telling him all about Ashley and him getting married. Jimmy tells him that he has time for that, and that’s when he says that Ashley said yes. Which is not the truth by far. Jimmy points out that he’s sixteen and maybe he should wait until he graduates and get’s a job. All Craig does is completely ignore him and asks him for help with his cuff link. Jimmy now seeing how deranged he’s acting asks him if he’s drunk or high as fuck. Craig just shouts, “I LOVE HER!” Jimmy should have told him, “I don’t have time for this Mickey Mouse bullshit, get out of my room.”

Finally it’s time for gay wedding and everyone there is as happy as can be. Craig meanwhile is there and he’s twitching away like a motherfucker. Ashley meanwhile doesn’t seem to notice it and mouths I love you to him.

Back at Joey’s house, Joey has finally noticed that his credit card is missing and he asks Caitlin if she can pay for the Chinese food. Something tells me that he asks her for help paying for shit alot. Spike and Snake are there helping and she pays for the food because she fees bad for him. Joey mentions that he thinks that Craig probably stole it. Snake makes a face and asks him how he’s been doing lately. Snake tells him that he’s a bit concerned about him because he’s acting a bit unstable. Joey not wanting to believe that Craig has something wrong with him just blows him off. But uh oh, the hotel has now called his house and they tell him about how Craig fucked up the hotel room and he’s now stuck with a huge bill. I guess he believes him now.

At the wedding Ashley’s mom is giving a toast to the two newlyweds. She mentions that their family might be unusual, but that they’re awesome or something. At that she asks Ashley to stand up and she does so slightly embarrassed. As she sits down Craig’s crazy ass stands up and she tries to get him to sit down, but he says he has something to say. And yeah, he tells everyone that he and Ashley are getting married and she’s beyond mortified. Her mom is pissed and everyone else just feels awkward as hell.

In the next scene Ashley is asking him what he was thinking by doing that shit. Craig starts to ramble on about how she told him that she would want to get married to him eventually and he didn’t see anything wrong with him telling everyone, so he’s blameless. Ashley then tells him that she’s changed her mind and she wants him to leave. Craig of course acts like a lunatic and get’s on his knees, declaring his love for her. Having enough, she tells him to go home. Craig says he will, but first he needs to cause a scene. He goes up to Ashley’s mom and two dad’s and tells them that he needs to talk to them. All he does is start to ramble again and that’s when Ashley’s dad’s husband starts to drag his ass out and they get into a tussle. Craig falls onto a table and he goes through it like Chris Farley used to.

Way to grind the episode to a fucking halt Degrassi writers. It’s time for Liberty and JT’s song and of course they piss Mr Raditch off. That’s exactly what they do and he gives them both detention. This is so stupid and not necessary I’m not even going into detail with it because there was more.

Craig meanwhile has really gone into the deep end and is crying like crazy saying that he needs Ashley. Seriously, he looks so demented he’s making me laugh. Since he’s totally wacked out of his mind he decides to pick a fight with the phone booth and he loses that one as well.

He finally makes his way to Joey’s house where Caitlin tells him that Joey’s not there because he’s out looking for him. She see’s that his hand is bleeding and she’s going to go and get something for it. Angela tells him that Joey’s super pissed, Craig not caring tells her that she needs to give Ashley his dead mom’s wedding ring and he goes up to his room.

Back at the wedding Joey comes by looking for Craig and pretty much starts accusing Craig and Ashley of stealing his credit card and booking a hotel room with it. Ashley get’s embarrassed because her mom hears all this and she’s just sickened because she knows that Craig’s nasty ass just banged her daughter. Joey then asks her why they had to trash it for and it’s going to cost him $4,000 dollars in damages. Ashley surprised says that she didn’t and quickly figures out that Craig did he because he had a huge meltdown the previous night when she turned down his marriage proposal. Ashley’s mom now pissed off tells Joey that Craig has a lot of problems and that’s when Ashley defends him because she’s stupid. Joey meanwhile is in despair wondering what’s going on with Craig.

At Joey’s Craig comes down the stairs and tells Caitlin that she should give Joey an envelope. Caitlin mentions that they know that he stole the credit card. He get’s all pissed off and says that it’s about $3,000 dollars and the credit card is there too. She asks him where he’s going and he says back to the wedding. But shit, Joey’s home and he’s fuming. Craig tries to leave and Joey tells him that he’s not going anywhere because something isn’t right with him. Craig once again acts like a maniac and Joey has to push him back so he can sit down. Craig hulks out in anger and pushes Joey around like a rag doll and then proceeds to kick the shit out of Joey’s ass. Goddamn Joey, even a teenage kid can beat your ass. This is like the third or fourth fight he’s lost since the original series. Ashley walks in and puts a stop to Craig’s rage. Immediately he calms down, shit that’s just like the Black Widow and the Hulk right here. Ashley tells him that he needs help and that’s when he seems to notice that Joey’s been beaten to a pulp. Joey you truly are a bald loser! Pathetic I swear!

At detention JT and Liberty are there and they have a kiss that’s so nauseating. Where did that come from? JT only hated her since the show debuted. He must have zero standards. That or I guess he figured that all he has is Toby, Johnny Mathis, and his hand. So I guess Liberty wins. But apparently they’re a couple now.

At the hospital Craig is telling Ashley that he still can’t sleep and that he’s crazy. Ashley says that he’s not crazy, he’s bi polar. So that explains all the erratic behavior. Craig tells Ashley that maybe she should go, and goes on to say that he’ll be dealing with the condition for the rest of his life. The episode ends with Ashley saying that she’s not leaving and that they’re still a couple.

So ok, this episode was a bit better than the previous one. I still find it hilarious that Joey got his ass kicked by his teenage stepson. So Craig’s bi polar, he’s still an chode though. As for Liberty and JT, who cares. Who would have thought that there’d be a worse couple than Craig and Ashley. You really out did yourself in this one Degrassi.

 

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Season 4, Episode 11, “Voices Carry, Part 1”

So the Craig and Ashley saga continues. Again, I have to say, who cares and I hate it that this one is a two parter. The writers just seem to enjoy torturing everyone with their bullshit romance.

Pre-Credit Opener: We see Craig and Ashley smooching in front of the school. After some dumb small talk it seems like Ashley doesn’t want her mom to see that she’s with Craig. I guess she hates his guts because he broke her daughters heart when he was banging Manny like a jack rabbit. She goes on to say that she’s been very busy with her dad’s upcoming wedding. Uh oh, Ashley’s mom pulls up and it’s clear that she wants to cut his balls off. Craig tells Ashley that he’ll call her later that night, but her mom tells him not to bother.

In the hallway Ashley is rehearsing what she’s going to tell her mom that Craig is back in the picture. Craig meanwhile is just focusing on the fact that her mom told him to not bother calling her. Craig is a classic narcissistic person. Suddenly we hear an according playing and it’s obvious that it’s Marco, but shit, now he’s singing Craig’s shitty song pretty badly. Turns out that they’re listening to a CD of their recording and Spinner tells him that that’s the finished product because he abandoned them for Yoko, I mean Ashley. He then pours out all the CD’s onto Craig’s feet and Marco tells him that it’s the one and only single that their band will ever put out. So it’s obvious that they’re still pissed. But Ashley tells Craig that she can careless because she’s back with him and that’s all that counts. That just goes to show how selfish she is too.

Oh great, so the subplot involves Liberty and the fact that she wrote a play. I already wish this episode was over with. She goes on to say that she doesn’t want to deal with it, but Manny tries to encourage her. No one should ever encourage Liberty. They go on to say that she adapted Dracula from the actual novel. She tries to sound all sophisticated with how she’s talking, but all it does is annoy the shit out of me. JT goes on to say that she’s brilliant and then mentions that he’s the director. Why would anyone let an immature dickhead like JT direct a play is beyond me.

In the MI lab Craig and Ashley are IMing each other and that’s when Craig shows her the lyrics to a new shitty song. Snake tells them to go back to work, but Craig is starting to act like a fucking maniac and is completely ignoring Snake. It’s easy to ignore Snake because who takes him seriously as an authority figure. After the third time of ignoring him, Snake tells him to take the computer in the corner. Craig starts to have a meltdown over being reprimanded and Ashley seems to be embarrassed for him, or maybe herself? It could be her. Anyways, Craig tells Snake to go fuck himself and storms out the door. Snake now completely defeated tells him to go to the office, but it’s obvious that he’s not. I know I wouldn’t listen to him.

Out in the hall way Ashley is asking him if he’s calmed down and he starts to go on about everyone trying to separate them. She tells him to chill the fuck out since they were talking in class. Ok, Craig is clearly insane, he get’s short with her and asks her who’s side is she on and then demands that she convince her mom that he’s not an asshole even though he is. She suggests that maybe they should tell her parents until after the wedding. Craig acting like a little bitch says that she doesn’t want him there.

In the next scene it seems like Manny is playing Mina while Alex I don’t know which character she is, but she’s in the drama club too. Who would have thought. Manny probably wants to make it like Bram Stoker’s Dracula and show her tits to the crowd. Mr Raditch meanwhile has called Liberty and JT aside and he has a big problem with the play because it has severed heads, stakes through the heart. You know, classic Vampire stuff. He’s overreacting because of what Rick did, she counters that by saying that she wrote the play to give everyone hope. Raditch sounding like a dictator wants them to have a musical about Degrassi and how awesome it is to go there. Even though a lot of tragedy has been associated with it since the original show.

In the hospital we see Jimmy listening to one of his mixtapes while he’s trying to do some exercises in bed. Craig then barges in wanting help on what to do with Ashley. Jimmy suddenly throws the bar away in frustration and Craig is barely realizing that all he does is complain about himself and his stupid bullshit problems. Jimmy meanwhile can’t even fucking walk anymore so he has bigger fish to fry. But it seems like he prefers that Craig talk about himself because everyone else tries to act like everything is ok. Jimmy suggests that he get her alone to talk to her. He says that he can’t because she’s busy with her dad’s stupid wedding while Caitlin is having their place painted. He then get’s the brilliant idea of booking a hotel room.

Going on with that insanity, he goes over to Joey’s and asks him for money. What a surprise, Joey says that he’s broke. Craig, Joey never has money because he’s a broke dick loser. Craig tells him that he has the money to pay him back, he just needs his credit card for one night only. Joey then mentions that the school called about him skipping out, but he just blows it off. Joey being fair, but firm tells him that he’s not lending him his card. So what does Craig do? Yup, he steals it.

At the wedding site Craig meets Ashley’s new aunt, some bimbo looking chick with a baby girl voice. She then starts to flirt with him, but he tells her that he already hurt Ashley once and no matter what, he won’t do it again. Ashley meanwhile is behind him listening and she’s elated to hear that. He quickly tells her that he got a room for the night and that she can go there after the wedding. Ashley’s mom then comes along and tells her that she made it clear that there’s no more room for other people. Especially greasy haired cheaters like Craig.

Afterwards he takes her to the motel room and Craig is one cheesy motherfucker. He has rose pedals on the floor in the shape of a heart with their initials in it. Ashley’s emo heart is beyond happy and she tells him that it’s perfect. She notices that he got a room with two beds but if he wants they can totally fuck and just share one bed. She says this while spreading her legs open. Woah Ashley! I never thought you had it in you! But the catch being that he wears a rubber. He goes into the drawer and takes out a whole package full of them. Glad to see he learned his lesson after he porked Manny and got her pregnant.

Good lord it seems like they boned their brains out because there’s clothes all over the place. Ashley meanwhile is getting dressed and crying uncontrollably. Craig instantly panics and apologizes if he did something wrong. Just like Caitlin in School’s Out, Ashley is crying tears of joy because she let Craig’s nasty ass break her little kitty in. She tells him to keep talking because he’s just been rambling this whole time and he fucks things up by saying that they should just take off and get an apartment together. Ashley tells him that she has to go because of her dad’s rehearsal dinner and he starts to act possessive. Ashley being stupid doesn’t seem to notice because she’s so “happy”. She then makes the mistake of saying that he’s as important to her as her dad and tells him to get dressed because he’s coming with her.

The episode once again comes to a screeching halt with Liberty’s boring subplot. Manny comes along to the Dot and that’s where Liberty and JT tell her that they’re now working on Degrassi the musical. Manny is beyond mortified at the thought and JT says that he quits and leaves in a huff. Manny pretty much tells her to go and seduce JT at her dad’s hot tub.

So it seems like the rehearsal dinner is at a gay bar. What the fuck? Those wacky Canadians again. Nah, I won’t say that because it’s not right. That’s Degrassi for you. Ashley walks in with Craig and it seems like his mom is ready to murder him, but all she says is that she needs a moment alone with Ashley. Ashley being stupid says that if she has something to say, she can say it in front of Craig. Craig out of his mind tells her that it’s ok and they should go have a talk. They start to talk and Ashley points out that not only did her dad leave her, he left her for another man and now she’s throwing him a goddamn wedding. So if she can forgive him, then she can forgive Craig.

Later on it seems like Toby is dancing with Ashley’s mom because not even a gay dude would want to dance with a toad like him. He see’s Ashley’s aunt Sally passing by and tries to talk to her, but she ignores him like everyone else does. Craig all of a sudden tells her that he has to leave for a bit, but that he’s coming back. Back at Joey’s he’s singing his stupid song he wrote about her and is digging out a packet out of an old shoe box.

He comes down in a suit and that’s when Joey asks him if everything is ok because he seems hyper as fuck. He tells them that he and Ashley are back together and he must have been out of his mind that he cheated on her with Manny. I love how he doesn’t remember that it was because Ashley wasn’t putting out and Manny spread those legs faster than could be believed.

Back at the gay bar Ashley notices that he’s come back in a suit and is wondering what’s up. He takes her aside and the crazy motherfucker is actually asking her to marry him. Ashley being freaked out tells him no. Craig immediately starts to lose his shit and starts to act like a maniac again. Ashley just stares at him and he leaves in a huff.

Oh lord we cut to Liberty and JT at her hot tub for some reason. They talk about more stupid ideas for the musical and one of the songs is sticking it to Mr Raditch.

Once again we go back to the gay bar and Ashley’s whorish looking new aunt wants to know what happened with Craig. She tells her that she doesn’t know if they’re still together but he asked her to marry him. The aunt is all surprised and wants to know what Ashley said, man, she’s nosy Ashley tells her that she said no and the aunt says, “But I thought you loved him?” Yeah, clearly she should not take any advice from this chick if she thinks Ashley getting married at such a young age is to be even considered.

The episode ends with Craig having the mother of all meltdowns. The room is a complete wreck, everything is broken including the TV. Joey is so fucked here, it’s even funnier because he probably can’t even pay for it. He’ll probably have to get Caitlin to foot the bill.

So I have to say, this episode was pretty meh for me. The meltdown was awesome, but shit, I can careless about Craig and Ashley’s relationship. I know they have their fans, I have no idea why, but they do. Don’t get me started on Liberty and her stupid play. I was hoping that she was being phased out of the show because we’ve hardly seen her this season, but there she is, boring everyone to death with her bland and lameness.


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Season 4, Episode 10, “Neutron Dance”

And we’re back for another episode review of Degrassi. This one deals with Craig and Ashley’s relationship again. I don’t know about you guys, but I could careless because Ashley is still a boring character and so is their relationship.

Pre-Credit Opener: Seems like Craig and the boys are still playing Reggae for some inexplicable reason. I could tell you now, that shit sucks ok. I guess it’s not just the boys, Ashley seems to have joined the band and it’s obvious that the guys don’t want her there. That’s probably why they’re playing Reggae to begin with.

In the MI lab Paige is going off to Snake because some asshole left gum on her chair. Snake being a little annoyed tells her to just find another chair and to stop her yapping. Hazel tells Paige that she should join yoga after school because it’s really helped her deal with Jimmy getting blasted and being turned into a cripple. Paige turns her down at first, but since the new student teacher Mr Olyeander is going to be there, she will too. I guess she didn’t learn her lesson from messing around with older guys.

We cut to the hospital where Craig is complaining to Jimmy about the fact that he thought that Spinner was going to walk out of their band practice. Jimmy should have told him, “I’m crippled you fool!” But all he says is that Spinner walks out on a lot of things. Craig and his greasy 70’s hair then says that Ashley has been there at practice and Jimmy get’s wise to them. Craig denies that there’s anything going on, but Jimmy doesn’t buy it one bit.

Oh lord so the student teacher is teaching the yoga class and both Marco and Paige are staring at his ass. Marco whispers to her, “Check out his hot bulge too.” He comes along and helps Paige with her technique and she practically has an orgasm right then and there. After that Paige tells Hazel that he was flirting with her, Hazel thinks that she’s insane and that he’s just the teacher.

Back in Craig’s garage the band is still arguing over the direction their band should go. Craig is singing some lyrics and even Marco thinks that they’re fucking gay. He mentions that he thought that it was a rock band and the lyrics sound soft. Craig being an “artist” says that they need to change and not stay the same. Spinner decides to come by and brings his skank Manny along too. You can tell that both Craig and Ashley are annoyed that she’s there. Hey she was the reason that they broke up because she got pregnant with Craig’s love child. Craig asks Spinner what Manny is doing there and being a dickhead he says that if Ashley is there, so could Manny.

At the movie theater Paige is bothering Alex about Mr O and if she has a chance of boning him. Just then he comes walking on by and says hello. But wow, he says that she’s his favorite student. Going by that Paige is convinced that the guy wants to pork her and Alex tells her to go for it.

At Degrassi ,Manny is wearing a cowboy hat that all sluts and skanks like to wear. It’s like a part of their official uniform. Spinner and Marco are still annoyed that Ashley is in the band and has any input. So it seems like they’re there for an interview with Liberty and her pirate nerd newspaper. The guys get instantly annoyed because Craig and Ashley are the only ones answering the questions. I guess they think they’re Degrassi’s answer to the White Stripes, except they suck. Big time.

In the next scene Spinner and Marco decide to confront Craig about Ashley and how she’s ruining the band. Craig of course get’s all pissed off and says that they did agree to her being in the band, which is a big lie. Marco then points out that she lost the contest fair and square and why should she take Jimmy’s place now that he’s basically Professor X. Craig full of attitude tries to talk to them, but they both say that if he doesn’t get rid of her, then they’re quitting the band.

So he decides to do just that. But he can’t because she just has to be all sweet about being there while they’re recording their shitty single. Craig decides to just kiss her and she leaves looking pleasantly surprised. She’s all, “I was assaulted, it was fun!”

At the Dot the boys think that he finally got rid of Ashley, but that’s when Craig tells them that he and Ashley are back together again. Even though no such thing has happened. Predictably they leave even more pissed off than before.

We go back to Paige’s stupid subplot and we can tell that she wants his hands all over her body again. He ignores her and she get’s annoyed when he compliments Heather Saint Claire instead of her. After class Hazel is telling her that she’s insane and she needs to stay out of it. Mr Wonderful passes by and Paige over hears that he’s meeting one of his bro’s for drinks at some bar. Paige decides to go, even though she’s underage.

What a surprise, we see Ashley talking to Ellie and she’s just gushing over the fact that Craig kissed her. While all this is going on, Ellie is packing up because Sean left her high and dry, so she’s fucked there. And because of that Ellie is now a man hater and says that guys suck and that they enjoy playing with a woman’s emotions.

At the Dot Craig and Ashley decide to have a talk over what happened and of course she takes Ellie’s shitty advice and she pretty much says that they made a mistake and that at least they still have the band. You can tell that Craig got his heart broken but he’s staying strong.

Outside some bar or club Paige is showing this big Asian guy a fake ID and we don’t get to see if it worked or not. I’m guessing that it did.

We go back to Craig and the band and Spinner is escalating the bullshit by saying since Craig is always changing things, he’s having Manny now joining the band as well and she’s going to be playing the tambourine. Marco makes his little statement by busting out his accordion. Ashley walks in and wants to know why they’re making so many changes because they’re recording their song the next day. Spinner asks Craig why and of course he doesn’t answer so they go on to play some truly shitty music. Not that big of a change really.

So yeah, Paige and Hazel managed to get into the bar and Paige is acting like an idiot saying all loud that she can’t believe that they made it in. Right away she spies Mr O and she actually goes up and talks to him and offers to buy him a drink. Just then his really hot girlfriend comes along and proceeds to humiliate Paige by pointing out that Paige has a giant crush on him. Paige meanwhile wants to ooze down into the floor because she’s so embarrassed. His girlfriend though acts like a real bitch and pretty much tells that bartender that Paige is just a kid and they get kicked out. I gotta say, the girlfriend showed how insecure she really is by doing that shit.

Finally it’s time for the guys to record their single and they’re all still acting ridiculous over Ashley being there. Not that I blame them though. Ashley makes things worse because she just has to open her mouth and asks if they’re really going to record the song that way and then asks Craig, like he’s making him take her side. Everyone leaves and Craig buckles under the pressure and kicks Ashley out of the band. Ashley near tears asks if that’s what the whole band wants and he says yes, except for him.

So they’re recording the song they did last year at the contest and they’re much better with Ashley not being there. As he’s singing the song he realizes that he fucked up again by breaking her heart. He stops singing near the end and he tells the guys that he has to go and be with Ashley because apparently the whole fucking world revolves around her, messing up their recording time.

Craig chases after Ashley telling her that he chooses her over the band and the recording studio. Reasoning that the recording studio will always be there, but it won’t. Yeah, that really was his big chance because Craig sucks as a musician, so does Ashley. Ashley makes the situation confusing because she acts like she doesn’t like Craig in that way and he goes away dejected, but then she smiles and tells him that he’s not going away that easy. She is so annoying with her indecision at times. God, Craig has a huge zit on his face, he needs to pop it or something. I thought Sean was Degrassi’s resident pizza face. Anyways, the episode ends with the both of them smooching and becoming a couple again.

I didn’t care for this episode, because really, the whole Craig and Ashley thing has been played out already. It’s like I said at the beginning of the review, who cares about them. I didn’t like the Paige subplot either, I was all, “Yeah, it bored me.” But I guess that’s it for the Downtown Sasquatch.


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Season 4, Episode 9, “Back In Black”

Well we’re back for another review of Degrassi. After last episode’s harrowing turn of events, I had to take a break because emotionally, it was too much for me. Nah, I’m just bullshitting. I was too lazy to write another one up. But here we go again. I believe Shawn leaves in this episode. Shit, is it Shawn or Sean? I’m going with Sean.

Pre-Credit Opener: We open up with Sean proudly looking at different newspapers saying that he’s a hero. I think he’s more surprised that it doesn’t say, Wanted dead or alive on it. Ellie meanwhile can’t help being a hater and says that she can’t believe that they’re still talking about the shooting. Well no shit, of course they still would be. This just leads me to believe that Ellie has a lack of empathy. Raditch is in front of the school talking to the reporters about counselors being at there to offer people help. But please, the only people that need help are the people who were involved. Rick is as dead as Julius Caesar, so that leaves him out. Raditch is then left holding his dick when the hot reporter from the previous episode see’s Sean and pounces on him for an interview. Ellie not liking the attention he’s getting pulls him into the school. Before he can get in, the reporter says that he’s a hero and she wants to know what it feels like. Sean seeing that all sorts of girls are into him because he killed Rick loves what he’s seeing and just says, “I guess I’m about to find out home girl.”

In the next scene the Asian counselor is having some sort of hippy therapy session and Paige is going on about being worried that Jimmy not walk again. He’ll be alright, plus he can compete in the upcoming robot Olympics. Hazel is still a wreck and is crying her eyes out through out this whole thing.

Meanwhile in Snake’s class, Snake is trying to convince everyone not to hate on Rick from beyond the grave. If I was Emma I’d be all, he tried to murder me you giant twatwaffle, of course I’m going to hate him. Toby looking literally like a troll says that Rick was bullied really bad. Craig annoyed tells him not to be making excuses for him being a maniac. Snake goes on to say that they need to talk to an adult before it comes to a crisis point. But sometimes adults give horrible advice too, just look at Caitlin, she’s ruined more relationships than I can count. During all this meanwhile Spinner is feeling guilty as hell, you can tell by all his heavy breathing.

Oh boy, Marco is talking about his feelings while having a Phantom of the Opera like mask on. I have gay friends and even they would say to tone it down. As all this lame shit is being said Sean is rolling his eyes and it’s obvious he thinks it’s a big waste of time. Especially when he says that he needs that stupid shit to be over with already. Being a true Canadian gangsta from the mean street’s of Degrassi he simply says that Rick got dealt with and he doesn’t feel guilt about him dying.

Back in the Mi lab Sean has a talk with Snake and they talk about how he saved Emma’s life. Clearly seeing that he’s uncomfortable talking about such a traumatic experience Snake keeps pushing him to talk about how he really feels. It seems like he’s just about to open up to him, but that’s when Emma walks in crying, fucking up the moment. She says that she can’t take everyone staring at her, as soon as she see’s Sean she gives him a big hug and thanks him for saving her life.

Outside Degrassi Jay is going on about not wanting to be a part of the therapy session. Alex says that he may be a piece of shit with no conscience, but she needs to go because she’s also feeling extremely guilty. Jay only thinking of himself tells her to watch her mouth and not admit to anything. As they’re leaving school the reporter comes along again and tells Sean that she had an interview with his mom. In the news van Sean is watching his mom talking about how Sean is a problem child. I just noticed it’s the lady from the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Anyway’s he get’s pissed off at her show of emotion for him. Emma comes along looking for Sean, Jay tells her that he’s talking to the reporter and that’s when we see Sean hulking out and destroy’s the fucking monitor. In a huff he tells Jay that he’s driving and then orders everyone, including Emma to get into the car. So off they go to Wasaga Beach.

We come upon the B plot of this episode and it involves JT and Toby’s relationship. Or lack there of now. He comes along as they’re playing basketball and JT and Johnny Mathis can’t help being dicks to him because he was friends with Rick.

Finally we go to Wasaga Beach and it’s just popping with all sorts of people who should be in school instead of there. Sean stops the car and surprise, surprise his parents live in a trailer park. Huffing and puffing, he knocks all hard on the door to confront his mom. She tries to hug him, but he pushes her away. He starts to call her out for being such a shitty parent and that she gave an Academy Award winning performance for the cameras. She starts to cry and just says that she’ll let him go.

Now at the beach Jay and Sean are burying Emma and Ellie and that’s when Sean spots his old Nemesis. The dude looks like a guy from my old neighborhood, it’s hilarious. Turns out he’s the kid who Sean deafened by hitting him with all his strength. Sean tells Jay that the kid tried to ambush him and that’s when he fucked him up.

Back at Degrassi Toby is checking out the shrine the students made for Jimmy. Man that must be inconvenient for the people who have the lockers around it. Manny comes along and says that she didn’t know that Jimmy had so many friends. Toby points out that most of the well wishers are strangers. Toby can sure count himself as one of his non friends as well. He goes on to bitch to Manny how JT is being a shithead towards him. Manny feeling sorry for him just puts her hand on his shoulder. Seeing that he has her sympathy, he tells her that Rick’s wake is that night, but he doesn’t want to go alone. Manny should have moon walked backwards after hearing that. She asks him about JT, but all he says is, “What about him?”

At the beach Jay goes up to the deaf kid and asks him how much it costs to rent a jet ski. The kid see’s Sean and you can tell he has nothing but hatred in his eyes for him. Jay being an asshole makes fun of him being deaf and that’s when the kid attacks Sean instead of him. He goes on to say that he literally recognized his eyes brows in the paper and then tells him to sucker punch him in the other ear like he did before. Sean bitches out and starts to leave, and that’s when the kid points out that he doesn’t deafen kids anymore, he kills them. Sean tries to beat his ass, but he’s stopped by everyone there. Surprisingly he gives Sean the keys to a jet ski and tells him it’s on the house. Yeah, that makes no sense. But ok.

Ellie tries to have a heart to heart with Sean, but he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings just yet. She pisses him off because she says that their two stories don’t really mesh. She goes on to say that the deaf kid alluded to the fact that he used to bully Sean and take his lunch money and that Sean made a punk move and sucker punched him. He get’s all pissed off saying that she believes him instead. Then he really loses it and wanting to cry, says that when the gun went off, he thought he had pissed himself silly, but it was just Rick’s life blood draining out of him. Not being able to handle his situation at the moment, he has to take his jet ski out there and just ride the waves! But it looks like he can’t handle the beast that he’s riding because he’s all over the place and then he crashes into the water. He pops up head down and that’s when the deaf kid goes out there and saves him.

We go back to the B plot and Manny has a few words with JT. She tells him that his best friend needs him and that’s when JT says former best friend. Johnny Mathis points out that Toby is a major four eyed geek and no one likes him. Manny now annoyed reminds JT that he’s a fucking nerd too and isn’t any better than Toby. She goes on to call Danny Webster and that if he hadn’t ditched Toby for him, he never would have became friends with Rick. JT tells her that she has the gull to be talking about people ditching people. Manny burns him by saying she remembered why they broke up in the first place because he can never be the bigger man. Ouch, she just had to bring up the fact that he has a needle dick.

Back at the beach Emma and Sean have a little chat. Sean tells her that he’s sorry for everything that happened the previous year and everything he put her through. She forgives him and says, “Ancient history.” She mentions how they should get heading back, but he says they have to go somewhere first.

Ah, so he’s gone back to his parents trailer. I have to point out that they look more like his grandparents. I guess he has old ass parents like Shane did in Degrassi Junior High. Sean you can tell is an emotional wreck at this point. His dad doesn’t help matters by saying how long until the police get there. Sean starts to leave but his mom tells him to ignore his crack. She goes on to say that what she said to the reporter was the truth and that sending him away was the best thing to do. Sean starts to cry and tells them how Rick was going to kill Emma and yeah, we all know what happened at this point. But his real grief is that he thinks that he did indeed kill Rick. His parents comfort him saying that it’s alright and that he’s home.

It’s time for Rick’s wake and it seems like it’s a closed casket. I guess no one wanted to see Degrassi’s newest demon at rest. Toby walks in with Manny who is dressed so inappropriately for a funeral. She’s probably going to twerk on his casket in honor of Rick. It’s awkward as hell when Rick’s mom makes a scene in front of everyone though. Just then, JT walks in and tells his mom how sorry he was about what happened to Rick. She thanks him and asks if he was his friend too. JT ignoring the question just says that it was a goddamn tragedy what happened.

The episode ends with Sean telling Ellie that he’s staying there because that’s what he needs in his life at the moment. Ellie starts to cry because she doesn’t want to lose him and says that she loves him. But shit, where is she going to live now that Sean has basically dumped her and left her alone to fend for herself?

So this was a pretty good episode. Just goes to show you that even the most cynical and toughest of guys have their breaking point emotionally. Too bad that Sean is now out of the show because he always was one of the more interesting characters. Also, I’m glad that Manny put JT in his place by saying that he’s still a loser and he shouldn’t be treating Toby like shit. Even though Toby is a losers loser.


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Season 4, Episode 6, “Islands In The Stream”

Toby and Rick have a contest to see which one is the more unfuckable person at Degrassi while Spinner and Paige have more relationship problems because of who else, Manny.

Pre-Credit Opener: We come upon Paige working at the Dot and she’s doing a horrible job of being a waitress. During her break, Paige is complaining about how hard the job is and the fact that she only made about 67 cents in tips. That’s when the manager comes along and all full of anger pretty much just fires her on the spot with no explanation at all.

At his locker, you can tell that Manny has now set her skanky eyes on Spinner by flirting with him about sun burns. Turns out she burnt her cooch while he burned his arms and back. Craig comes by and gets pissed off when he sees the picture of Spinner and Manny flirting at the car wash. How is he now just seeing this? You’d think that he would have noticed it in his little dark room. But anyways, he comes along and cock blocks Spinner by interrupting. After Manny leaves he tells him that he’s warning him about Manny. Spinner tells him to go away and to mind his own business. I have to point out that Spinner looks like a surfer dude with that mane he’s been sporting lately.

In the MI lab, Snake wants everyone to partner up for a quiz show. Toby tries to get with Emma but not wanting to be with Degrassi’s high geek, she tells him that she’s already with some girl named Heather. Rick and Toby start to go over Rick’s creepy hottest chicks of Degrassi list. Emma is his number three choice, while Mrs Hatzilakos is his number one for obvious reasons. Snake comes long and then makes them partners for the quiz show.

In the cafeteria some girl causes Paige to crash into Ashley and Hazel making Spinner laugh his ass off. He then starts acting like a bigger dick head by just grabbing her fries and treating her like shit. Stupid Paige lets him get away with it because she did wreak his car. But it was a piece of shit anyways.

At the mall Paige is having an interview at the movie theater. The manager asks her how she is at being a team player. She says that she’s all about that, but her heart drops when she see’s that Alex works there with her 70’s movie theater uniform on.

The next day Toby tries to compliment Emma, but please, she just blows him off because she has a pair of tits on her and she knows that she’s better than him now. Rick comes along laughing at his humiliation. Seems like these two are bonding over their love for hot chicks that they’ll never have and for having lack of friends. I love how when Toby mentions Hazel, Rick says that she has a couple of fine attributes. You know, because she’s busty as hell. Oh lord, they set up a geek contest and the prize is a set of role playing dice. That’s how you know that these two are at the bottom of the barrel there. The contest is whoever get’s the most kisses from their lists wins.

The next scene Paige is telling Spinner that she doesn’t want to ask Alex for help getting a job at the theater because they both hate each other. She bites the bullet and says that she knows that they’ve had their issues. Alex tells her that it’s ok and she’s put a bad word in for her. Hey, I say she deserves it for being such a shithead to everyone she doesn’t like.

In the science lab Toby comes panting up to Emma and pretty much just tells her about their contest. She just rolls her eyes and gives him a peck on the cheek. But shit, I would say that that shouldn’t count because it’s not really a kiss. Right away Toby starts to make fun of Rick and calls him a loser. But please, Toby is a losers loser. Emma then gives Rick a peck too because she feels sorry for him. Right away Rick laughs like a maniac and says that they need a new game the next day to break the tie.

In the hallway Paige is complaining how she can’t find a job to help pay for Spinner’s car. Hazel says that she’s better than that and him. Paige doesn’t know what she’s talking about. That’s when Hazel says that she misses the old Paige who wouldn’t take any of that bullshit from Spinner. Paige is still willing to give him a free pass until Hazel shows her the picture of Manny and Spinner dry humping at the car wash.

Now full of piss and vinegar she pays Spinner a visit at the Dot. He can’t help being a jerk and mentions when people usually get fired from a place, they don’t come back. She shows him the picture and he just tries to play it off that it was just a hug. Now going into a rage, she grabs him and says that that is a hug. Spinner is all full of pain because of his sun burn. She tells him that all he has to do is tell her that it was nothing and it’ll be fine. She’s shocked to see that he doesn’t say anything.

Out in the hallway Jay is still slamming Rick against the lockers because why not. Toby helps him up and they get back to their stupid little game. Rick tells him that the new rules are that whoever get’s the most kisses in a day wins and get’s the dice. Toby slams his elbow against the lockers in front of Manny. She asks him what’s wrong and he says that he hurt his elbow. Being a little hoe she gives him a kiss where it hurts. If Toby was smart he should have pointed this his penis. Manny wouldn’t have a problem kissing that too. OH!!!

At cheer practice Paige is giving Manny all sorts of shit because she hates her now. Funny how there’s not an adult there as their coach, its always been Paige running that squad. Spinner comes along with some flowers and admits that he had some guilty thoughts about Manny. That means that he jacked off to her already. Anyways, he gives her the flowers and Paige being dumb takes him back. She get’s a phone call and she got the job at the theater.

Continuing their stupid game, Toby hides the dummy for giving mouth to mouth in his locker while Rick is clearly struggling to get a kiss. Too bad he’s mellow now or else he would just push them down so they can crack their heads open and then he would be able to get a kiss. But seriously, what was Rick thinking? He should know that everyone at the school hates his guts. He’s so pathetic that he’s even offering five bucks, but he’s going nowhere fast. Toby meanwhile is getting mouth to mouth from someone who looks like Lizzie McGuire and then sets up a kissing booth to help sick kittens. Rick get’s pissed but still tries to get a kiss, too bad every female is just ignoring him. Toby feels bad for him because he’s a much bigger loser than he is, even though he should be rejoicing at the fact.

We then come upon Darcy and it seems like Toby told her about the contest and that Rick is losing big time because he’s a huge angry nerd who no one likes. She mentions that she’s noticed that everyone keeps pushing him into lockers and wants to know why he’s hated. Toby just ignores her and pays her five dollars. Darcy then comes along and turns on her charm by asking Rick about his glasses. He gets all happy when she says that she likes them. That’s when he mentions the contest and right way she offers to help. She kisses him, but she did it in front of Jay. Uh oh.

At Paige’s locker Hazel is continuing to give her opinion about Spinner treating her like shit. Not wanting to hear it, she tells her to back off or else she’s going to start doing the same thing about her relationship with Jimmy. I don’t know why she said that for, Jimmy seems to be treating her right.

Of course Paige is terrible at her new job as well. She’s lucky that Alex is being decent by giving her a break and actually helping her out by giving her pointers on what she’s doing wrong. Spinner and the boys come along and he can’t help acting like a complete dick with her in front of everyone. You can tell that both Craig and Alex got annoyed with him. And to prove the point Alex says she used to be afraid of her. But since she’s a coward and a suck, not anymore. She goes on to say that if any boyfriend of hers talked to her like he did to Paige, he would have been dumped already.

Seems like the movie is over and it’s obvious that there’s tension between Craig and Spinner about Manny. Still acting like a shithead he heads on over to the counter to fuck with Paige some more. She asks him for a ride home after work, but he says that he doesn’t want to because she doesn’t get off for another two hours. Craig makes fun of him for pretty much being a shitty boyfriend. Spin says something lame and Craig says, “Nice comeback genius.” Spinner then slaps Craig twice and walks away. Craig like his dad goes into a rage and hulks out. He shoves Spinner saying that he was always jealous of Manny and him. Spinner fucks things up by saying that he’s now jealous of Manny and himself. Paige hears that and you can tell get’s her heart broken. The guys meanwhile have started to fight, and Paige is trying to break it up saying that she works there. The manager comes out and says that she called security and they book it. Poor Paige then get’s fired even though she had nothing to do with it.

Back at Degrassi Toby has won the contest and the dice. Rick doesn’t care because someone really hot, meaning Darcy kissed him and he’s on cloud nine. Until Jay comes along and Rick leaves before he get’s his ass kicked again. Jay tells Toby that word around the school is that some hot new chick is being stalked by a psycho named Rick. Man, Rick was fast to act like a stalker motherfucker. But it’s in his blood, he can’t help it. To punish Toby for getting Darcy to kiss him, Jay throws him in a locker. Shit, I like Jay in this episode for that act alone!

In the cafeteria Alex comes by and tells Paige that she talked the manager into giving her a second chance. Spinner then lamely says that he’s sorry for getting her fired. She tells him not to worry about it because she still has a job. She then throws in his face what he said about Manny. He tries to play the victim again, but she’s had it with his shit. Especially because he wasn’t fighting over her, he was fighting over that whore Manny. She then says that they’ll figure out a payment system to pay him back, but they’re done. What a surprise, Manny ruined yet another relationship there at Degrassi. Her sexual powers are just too great for the guys there.

So this was another good one I think. Guys, Spinner just showed all of us how not to treat a girlfriend. If you treat her like shit, eventually they’re going to dump your ass. Unless they like being treated like garbage, which is sad, but there’s a lot of people out there like that, girls and guys actually. The Rick, Toby subplot was pretty good too because it shows that he’s still getting bullied and it’s actually getting worse too. Next week I’ll try to have the school shooting two parter up because it’s a good one!


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Season 4, Episode 1, “Ghost In The Machine, Part 1”

Finally we’ve made it to season 4 of Degrassi. But right off the bat we begin a two episode arc that I really hated when I first saw it.

Pre-Credit Opener: Paige, Spinner and Craig are at Joey’s used car lot where Spinner has just purchased a real piece of shit. Since this is a new season and year everyone is looking different. Spinner now has longer stoner hair while Craig is desperately trying to make himself look like he came from the 70’s. After they ride like the wind across Toronto, Spinner parks the car at Paige’s house to remark what a great day he’s having. But oh uh, the Mounties come along and Spinner is already shitting bricks. But it turns out that they’re looking for Paige. The cop gives her a notice to appear in court because of Dean raping her. Man justice works really slow in Canada. To show how scared she is to go, Paige is flaring her nostrils like crazy. We get the same opening credits, but this time it’s another singer and it sounds more like a dance song now.

In the next scene, they’re at the drive in watching a really low budget zombie movie. Paige is so scared she drops pop corn all over Spinner’s car. Oh lord, instead of hugging Spinner, Marco is in the drivers seat and Spinner is in the back because they reason they wouldn’t be able to see behind him. Needless to say, Spinner is beyond annoyed that Marco is there cock blocking him.

We the cut away to Dylan’s moving day at Toronto university I’m assuming and Marco of course can’t help lift Dylan’s massive pleasure chest of wonders because he’s basically a girl. Spinner meanwhile is being a real sour shoes and after Paige asks him what’s wrong he goes off on the fact that they’re never alone. She promises that things will change once the trial is over with.

And yup, what a surprise. Dean is also going there, pledging at a frat. I love how he’s acting like a big shot with his ugly yellow corvette. Being the ultimate asshole that he is, he spots Paige and actually brings up the court case and tries to make her feel guilty about him raping her. Shit, he’s even trying to get her to not testify against her. Fucking scumbag.

Well enough with that shit. It’s finally the first day of school and Emma, Liberty and Toby are all saying that they ended their relationships that Summer. Toby is no big surprise though. Kendra must have seen him for what he really is, which is Degrassi’s resident loser.

Inside, Manny and JT are making fun of the Freshmen coming in. Do they call 9th and 10th grader’s Freshmen and Sophomore’s in Canada? I really want to know. Anyways, this kid who looks like 50’s crooner Johnny Mathis actually tries to pick up on Manny. I guess he saw that JT really isn’t a man, so he’d give it a shot.

At Craig’s locker, he’s surprised to see that someone has actually decorated it with a bunch of musical themed birthday decorations. He bumps into Ashley and he just assumes that it was her who did it. Marco comes along dressed in a suit that’s way too big on him and it turns out that it was Marco. Gee, why am I not surprised.

Else where Spinner is having a dilemma if he should put Mandy Moore or Hilary Duff inside his locker. He goes with Lizzie Maguire because he says she looks like Paige. No she doesn’t. As we all know, Paige looks like Miss Piggy. Paige comes along and says that she’d rather looks like Lindsay Lohan. Jimmy points out that he thought she had court that day, but she says it was the next day. Spinner asks her what’s that supposed to mean, and Paige being stupid says that she’s not going to the trial. Spinner get’s pissed at her and says that he can’t take all that bullshit anymore.

After school Spinner mentions the fact that she said that everything would be ok after the trial. In Spinner’s point of view, now that she’s not going to the trial, her acting weird when she’s alone with him will never end. Long story short, he wants to have sex and he now knows that it’ll never happen. She explains that it happened three years ago and that she’s moved on. Spinner for some incredible reason believes her.

Haha. At Joey’s, Joey and the family are watching a video from Caitlin where apparently she’s in some jungle or island country. But it’s pretty obvious that it’s just some palm trees in front of a green screen. Craig not caring about Caitlin’s birthday wishes want’s his big birthday gift and it’s an envelope. At first he’s all, “What the fuck!?”, but he see’s that it’s actually ten grand from his dead dad. Turns out when Craig turns 18 he’ll get his full inheritance.

At some random swamp, Spinner and Paige are engaged in some heavy petting. But it’s too much for Paige because she’s having some serious flashbacks about Dean raping her. Obviously she’s not over it because she keeps saying that she said no. Finally getting the guts, she tells him that she’s going to court and Spinner being the loyal boyfriend is going with her.

The next day Ashley comes along and tries to talk to Craig about her being weird the other day. She goes on to say that she would love to be friends with him again. So burying all that ill will, they start to talk about Craig’s dad leaving him all that money. Ashley is blown away hearing that and you can tell she wants him to buy her something. Craig goes on to say that Joey gave him a lecture about investing the money for his future. Craig being stupid and bitter says that he’s just going to rip up the check. Yeah right, what teenager would ever do something like that? Ashley actually being sane tells him that he can have a lot of fun with that money. You can tell that it never occurred to Craig to go on a shopping spree.

It’s finally time for Degrassi’s trial of the century and Paige get’s instantly nervous when she see’s Dean arrive in his Corvette. Spinner says that he hates Dean, that’s when Paige tells him to go home because he’s going to be hearing all the awful details of her rape. But Spin is going to stay by his woman.

Inside Paige is being grilled by Dean’s lawyer. Basically she’s implying that Paige wanted to have sex with Dean because she was dressed like a slut and was flirting with him that whole night. Even getting felt up by him and that she liked it. The lawyer then asks how it was possible that Dean opened a condom wrapper and got it around his dick with one hand. Paige should have just said that it was his superior raping skills that made it all possible. Paige keeps saying that she said no and that he over powered her by his creepiness. The lawyer then fucks up by asking her how many men she had sex with. Paige now full of piss and vinegar says that the incident was her only experience with sex and if she had the choice she wouldn’t have lost her virginity to someone old like Dean. I mean, look at him, he looks 30.

We switch scene’s and Craig is at a guitar shop buying a bunch of CD’s and that’s when Ashley finds a guitar from the 60’s. The guy at the shop is cringing at Ashley holding it because apparently it’s worth a lot and tells her to put it back down. Craig acting like Wayne from Wayne’s World smugly says that he’s going to buy it.

Back at court, the judge who looks like that old skeevosa Dr Sally arrives to give her verdict. She starts by saying how brave it was for Paige to be there at court and that these are the type of cases that keep her up at night. Having said that, she goes on to say that because there were no eye witnesses or physical evidence, Dean is going to get off Scott free. See? What did I tell you a couple of seasons ago? All of Paige’s inaction would come back to bite her in the ass. If she would have gone right away to be examined Dean would be going to prison instead. The insult to injury is that Dean is laughing his ass off at her because he got away with it. If Nancy Grace was there covering this she’d be saying, “Somewhere out there, the devil is dancing.” The episode ends with Paige’s shocked face.

So now that I’m watching this again, this episode wasn’t too bad. Hardly anything to complain about really. Sure people get mad at Dean, I sure know I hate the character, but this sort of shit happens all the time. Leave it to Degrassi to show that there’s injustices in this world. The main one being that Craig came into money. How unfair is that?


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Season 3, Episode 17, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”

So we return to an Episode that “Goes There”. That’s right this is the big Terri get’s fucked up by her boyfriend episode. I’m not sure, but I believe this is the last episode she’s featured in, or maybe she makes one last appearance as the season concludes. But who cares. Let’s see how Terri get’s taken out of Degrassi. Man, what a DeBummer.

Pre-Credit Opener: We open up with Paige telling the gang that she has her parents mini van for the weekend and you know what that means. Party!! Everyone is super excited except for Terri because she doesn’t have that special someone to go on what’s most likely going to be a lame road trip. Hazel tells her, “You’ll be with all of your friends idiot!” Paige tells her to bring someone and we all know who Terri is thinking of bringing along because she is indeed an idiot.

Oh what a surprise. Yet again Mrs Kwan is teaching something that isn’t remotely related to language class. I would say she’s more of a life skills teacher. I remember when I was in Jr High we had a class called Life Skills class. And it was pretty much stupid shit like this. Rick and Terri become partners for a trust exercise and yeah, it’s pretty predictable. They each fall into each other’s arms and with that, Rick weasel’s his way into Terri’s heart again.

After class Rick tells Terri that he wanted to call her to apologize for beating the hell out of her, but he was too much of a chicken shit to do it. He goes on to say that he misses her and the fact that she hung out with Paige all the time made stalking her hard. Terri just leaves and says she’ll talk to him later.

In Snake’s class Marco is being a little brown noser and tells him that the sub that they had sucked ass and they’re all glad that he’s back. Snake is back to his old self. At least he’s not a dick anymore. Oh lord Marco and Ellie have a night of watching an Indian movie double feature. What a couple of bores I swear. Ashley points out to Ellie that Sean like most normal teenage boys wouldn’t sit through that kind of boring bullshit. Ellie says, “Why would Sean come?” Ashley points out that they are sort of seeing each other, but Ellie is adamant that things haven’t changed between her and Marco just because she’s seeing Sean now. Yeah, we all know this isn’t going to end well.

At Caitlin’s TV station Sean walks into Caitlin and Ellie’s bull session. Sean cuts to the chase and he wants to watch a new movie called Elimination Round 3. Ellie says that she wants to go with him, but she realized that she has a boring evening with Marco planned already. What’s a girl to do?

We cut to The Dot and everyone is disgusted and pissed off at Terri for bringing Rick along to their sacred hangout. Paige all full of fury says that she’s not going to be driving that asshole around all day long. Spinner points out that it’s better that they come along since they’ll be able to keep an eye on them.

Ha! The poster to Elimination Round 3 features a bald black dude and none other than motherfucking Yick Yu! Marco and Ellie come along and right away he’s acting like such a woman. Sean much like I would be in that situation is disappointed that she brought him along.

So it’s finally time for the big road trip and it seems like they just went to the local Degrassi park. Rick sit’s his ass on the hood of the van and tells Terri to come and join him. Paige all annoyed tells him to get the hell off before he and Terri put the mother of all dents on it.

Back at the movie Marco and Ellie are acting like a couple of assholes. You can tell that they think that they’re sophisticated and that an action movie is beneath them. Jay get’s so annoyed at them that he throws popcorn at Marco. Sean then reaches for some popcorn but he touches Marco’s hand instead. He probably wants to boil it because he thinks he has gay now.

The scene cuts back to the park and Paige is fuming and you can tell she’s about to blow. Rick goes to get what I’m assuming is food for Terri. She takes that as an opportunity to talk to her about Rick. Terri being a fool says that he apologized. Paige getting more irritated by the minute shouts out, “Of course, that’s what his kind does!” Rick comes out of nowhere and starts to tell Paige that she has no right to tell Terri who she can be friends with and that she’s a backstabber. I don’t know how she is in that situation. It’s not like she ever fucked Rick over like she did to Manny and Hazel. Anyways, Paige goes on to call him a psycho and Rick loses it and kicks Paige’s mini van and leaves. Terri being on Rick’s side starts to yell at Paige. She pretty much says that she’s sick of her shit and constantly being told what to do. Paige having enough yells at her to go after him if she’s such a bad friend. I gotta say, I’ve been in Paige’s situation before with people like Terri. Especially when they get back together with someone they know is toxic. It’s very annoying and frustrating, but you can’t control people. Even if they are fucking stupid.

Out in some field where a bunch of bricks are just laying around, Rick is going crazy kicking at the air in anger. Terri starts to apologize about Paige but Rick cuts off her shouting, “She does not matter!” Terri says, “Calm down day time Emmy.” He does and goes on to say that he’s happy that they’re together again. After they kiss, Terri starts to pull him along and says to just ignore Paige. He tugs her back all aggressive and says he’d rather walk back. Terri points out that it’s far walk. Rick says that she called him a psycho. Paige tells Rick that that’s just Paige being herself, which is a bitch. Rick now is starting to get more aggravated and says, “What? That makes it ok? My feelings mean nothing to you?” Terri starts to panic from his vise like grip thanks to him hulking out due to anger again. She says that she’s going back because he’s hurting her. At that he loses it and yells, “You’re not going! You’re not!!” And then pushes her and Terri fucking splits her head open falling on top of one of the random cinder blocks just lying around. At this point Rick makes a shocked face because he knows that he went way over the line. He went up to 11 with that fury.

We cut back to Paige and she’s clearly worried about Terri because it’s been awhile since she left. They come out of the bushes and spot Rick kneeling next to Terri’s carcass. Rick looking like OJ with Terri’s blood all over his hands panics and runs away. I love how Spinner made no attempt to chase him and stomp his ass into the ground. Instead he runs to get his cell phone.

At Degrassi Mr Raditch is telling the entire class that Terri was maimed that weekend and is in the hospital until further notice. Marco starts to ask Snake if it was an accident and Spinner cuts him off by saying that it wasn’t an accident. Ashley wonders out loud if Rick is in jail. Snake tells everyone since he’s a minor he’s not allowed to talk about any specifics. Spinner tells him that if he see’s Rick, his ass is grass. Oh lord Snake then says, “We can talk about our feelings together.” I’m with Spinner, get the fuck out of here with that hippy bullshit Snake. Paige busts out this lame looking get well card for Terri and everyone signs it.

Back to the B plot, Ellie is telling Marco that she doesn’t really want to go visit Terri since she didn’t even know her. And you know what? Why should she? Marco offers to go with her and that’s when Sean comes by and get’s instantly annoyed at seeing Marco next to Ellie. He makes a major alpha move and makes Marco move out of the way. It’s hilarious. Ellie now pissed off leaves Sean by himself and goes with Marco. Ellie doesn’t seem to know how to act in a relationship.

The next scene is at the local Degrassi hospital. Terri is so messed up that she’s now in a coma. Terri’s dad comes along and tells Spinner and Paige that she’ll be having surgery later on in the night because she has a blood clot. He then starts to go off on Rick and he can’t believe that little prick would hurt his daughter like he did. By the look on their faces he picks up on the fact that they knew that he was being abusive towards her.  Understandably he yells at the both of them and asks why the hell didn’t they say anything. The both of them just leave with tears in their eyes.

Outside The Dot Paige stops her mini van and starts to cry. Spinner tells her that she’s going to be ok and gives her a little smooch. At that Paige aggressively starts to make out with him. Even Spinner being a big horn dog isn’t down for this shit. Paige of course get’s all pissed off and starts with the blame game. She goes on to say that none of this would have happened if Spinner would have just left them behind like she wanted to. Spinner now angry blurts out the fact that she’s the one who told her to go off with him. Check mate!

Inside, Ellie is telling Marco that she should dump Sean because he’s being rude towards Marco. Marco points out that the only rude one in that relationship is her. Plus he’s tired of being her security blanket and feeling like a third wheel. I think he just doesn’t want to hang out with Sean’s scumbag friends.

All dejected, Spinner makes his way back to Degrassi and then he spots Rick waiting inside a car. Spinner get’s super pissed and drags his ass out. Rick starts to yell, “Spinner stop!” Spinner asks him if he stopped when he ravaged Terri. Paige then comes along pleading for him to stop too. Rick’s mom then comes out of the school and tells them to leave her son alone. Spinner just leaves crying. Ugh! I would have been like Kevin Dillon’s character in Platoon and told Spinner, “Fucking pussy! He’s laughing at you!” I would have beat the shit out Rick. But you know, this is Degrassi and it wants to teach that an eye for an eye is not the way. Spinner sits on a bench and starts to cry to Paige that he’s no different than Rick. Paige tells him that he is different because he stopped himself. *Eye roll* Whatever.

We conclude the B plot by Sean and Ellie having a conversation about their relationship. They both think that they’re dumping each other. Ellie tells him that she’s sorry for being a horrible girlfriend, and then she says, “You haven’t been a great boyfriend either.” I don’t know how she figures this, but Sean knowing better just agrees with her craziness and says that he doesn’t hate Marco, he just wants to date her.

At the hospital Terri’s dad comes out and tells them that they don’t know if she’s brain damaged or not. They all apologize for their behavior and Paige says that they should have said something. He makes them feel better by saying that they’re good friends.

Man, I must be rusty, this took me about two hours to write. Ridiculous. But this was a pretty good episode. I guess we had to have a domestic violence story and Degrassi delivered. I still say Rick should have had his balls cut off for what he did. Another frustrating thing is that we never found out if Rick was punished or not. But this is Degrassi after all and they always like to leave things open ended.