Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama. New reviews at least once a week. Hopefully. But if I feel like it I might make two to three reviews a week. So it'll depend.


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Season 3, Episode 17, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”

So we return to an Episode that “Goes There”. That’s right this is the big Terri get’s fucked up by her boyfriend episode. I’m not sure, but I believe this is the last episode she’s featured in, or maybe she makes one last appearance as the season concludes. But who cares. Let’s see how Terri get’s taken out of Degrassi. Man, what a DeBummer.

Pre-Credit Opener: We open up with Paige telling the gang that she has her parents mini van for the weekend and you know what that means. Party!! Everyone is super excited except for Terri because she doesn’t have that special someone to go on what’s most likely going to be a lame road trip. Hazel tells her, “You’ll be with all of your friends idiot!” Paige tells her to bring someone and we all know who Terri is thinking of bringing along because she is indeed an idiot.

Oh what a surprise. Yet again Mrs Kwan is teaching something that isn’t remotely related to language class. I would say she’s more of a life skills teacher. I remember when I was in Jr High we had a class called Life Skills class. And it was pretty much stupid shit like this. Rick and Terri become partners for a trust exercise and yeah, it’s pretty predictable. They each fall into each other’s arms and with that, Rick weasel’s his way into Terri’s heart again.

After class Rick tells Terri that he wanted to call her to apologize for beating the hell out of her, but he was too much of a chicken shit to do it. He goes on to say that he misses her and the fact that she hung out with Paige all the time made stalking her hard. Terri just leaves and says she’ll talk to him later.

In Snake’s class Marco is being a little brown noser and tells him that the sub that they had sucked ass and they’re all glad that he’s back. Snake is back to his old self. At least he’s not a dick anymore. Oh lord Marco and Ellie have a night of watching an Indian movie double feature. What a couple of bores I swear. Ashley points out to Ellie that Sean like most normal teenage boys wouldn’t sit through that kind of boring bullshit. Ellie says, “Why would Sean come?” Ashley points out that they are sort of seeing each other, but Ellie is adamant that things haven’t changed between her and Marco just because she’s seeing Sean now. Yeah, we all know this isn’t going to end well.

At Caitlin’s TV station Sean walks into Caitlin and Ellie’s bull session. Sean cuts to the chase and he wants to watch a new movie called Elimination Round 3. Ellie says that she wants to go with him, but she realized that she has a boring evening with Marco planned already. What’s a girl to do?

We cut to The Dot and everyone is disgusted and pissed off at Terri for bringing Rick along to their sacred hangout. Paige all full of fury says that she’s not going to be driving that asshole around all day long. Spinner points out that it’s better that they come along since they’ll be able to keep an eye on them.

Ha! The poster to Elimination Round 3 features a bald black dude and none other than motherfucking Yick Yu! Marco and Ellie come along and right away he’s acting like such a woman. Sean much like I would be in that situation is disappointed that she brought him along.

So it’s finally time for the big road trip and it seems like they just went to the local Degrassi park. Rick sit’s his ass on the hood of the van and tells Terri to come and join him. Paige all annoyed tells him to get the hell off before he and Terri put the mother of all dents on it.

Back at the movie Marco and Ellie are acting like a couple of assholes. You can tell that they think that they’re sophisticated and that an action movie is beneath them. Jay get’s so annoyed at them that he throws popcorn at Marco. Sean then reaches for some popcorn but he touches Marco’s hand instead. He probably wants to boil it because he thinks he has gay now.

The scene cuts back to the park and Paige is fuming and you can tell she’s about to blow. Rick goes to get what I’m assuming is food for Terri. She takes that as an opportunity to talk to her about Rick. Terri being a fool says that he apologized. Paige getting more irritated by the minute shouts out, “Of course, that’s what his kind does!” Rick comes out of nowhere and starts to tell Paige that she has no right to tell Terri who she can be friends with and that she’s a backstabber. I don’t know how she is in that situation. It’s not like she ever fucked Rick over like she did to Manny and Hazel. Anyways, Paige goes on to call him a psycho and Rick loses it and kicks Paige’s mini van and leaves. Terri being on Rick’s side starts to yell at Paige. She pretty much says that she’s sick of her shit and constantly being told what to do. Paige having enough yells at her to go after him if she’s such a bad friend. I gotta say, I’ve been in Paige’s situation before with people like Terri. Especially when they get back together with someone they know is toxic. It’s very annoying and frustrating, but you can’t control people. Even if they are fucking stupid.

Out in some field where a bunch of bricks are just laying around, Rick is going crazy kicking at the air in anger. Terri starts to apologize about Paige but Rick cuts off her shouting, “She does not matter!” Terri says, “Calm down day time Emmy.” He does and goes on to say that he’s happy that they’re together again. After they kiss, Terri starts to pull him along and says to just ignore Paige. He tugs her back all aggressive and says he’d rather walk back. Terri points out that it’s far walk. Rick says that she called him a psycho. Paige tells Rick that that’s just Paige being herself, which is a bitch. Rick now is starting to get more aggravated and says, “What? That makes it ok? My feelings mean nothing to you?” Terri starts to panic from his vise like grip thanks to him hulking out due to anger again. She says that she’s going back because he’s hurting her. At that he loses it and yells, “You’re not going! You’re not!!” And then pushes her and Terri fucking splits her head open falling on top of one of the random cinder blocks just lying around. At this point Rick makes a shocked face because he knows that he went way over the line. He went up to 11 with that fury.

We cut back to Paige and she’s clearly worried about Terri because it’s been awhile since she left. They come out of the bushes and spot Rick kneeling next to Terri’s carcass. Rick looking like OJ with Terri’s blood all over his hands panics and runs away. I love how Spinner made no attempt to chase him and stomp his ass into the ground. Instead he runs to get his cell phone.

At Degrassi Mr Raditch is telling the entire class that Terri was maimed that weekend and is in the hospital until further notice. Marco starts to ask Snake if it was an accident and Spinner cuts him off by saying that it wasn’t an accident. Ashley wonders out loud if Rick is in jail. Snake tells everyone since he’s a minor he’s not allowed to talk about any specifics. Spinner tells him that if he see’s Rick, his ass is grass. Oh lord Snake then says, “We can talk about our feelings together.” I’m with Spinner, get the fuck out of here with that hippy bullshit Snake. Paige busts out this lame looking get well card for Terri and everyone signs it.

Back to the B plot, Ellie is telling Marco that she doesn’t really want to go visit Terri since she didn’t even know her. And you know what? Why should she? Marco offers to go with her and that’s when Sean comes by and get’s instantly annoyed at seeing Marco next to Ellie. He makes a major alpha move and makes Marco move out of the way. It’s hilarious. Ellie now pissed off leaves Sean by himself and goes with Marco. Ellie doesn’t seem to know how to act in a relationship.

The next scene is at the local Degrassi hospital. Terri is so messed up that she’s now in a coma. Terri’s dad comes along and tells Spinner and Paige that she’ll be having surgery later on in the night because she has a blood clot. He then starts to go off on Rick and he can’t believe that little prick would hurt his daughter like he did. By the look on their faces he picks up on the fact that they knew that he was being abusive towards her.  Understandably he yells at the both of them and asks why the hell didn’t they say anything. The both of them just leave with tears in their eyes.

Outside The Dot Paige stops her mini van and starts to cry. Spinner tells her that she’s going to be ok and gives her a little smooch. At that Paige aggressively starts to make out with him. Even Spinner being a big horn dog isn’t down for this shit. Paige of course get’s all pissed off and starts with the blame game. She goes on to say that none of this would have happened if Spinner would have just left them behind like she wanted to. Spinner now angry blurts out the fact that she’s the one who told her to go off with him. Check mate!

Inside, Ellie is telling Marco that she should dump Sean because he’s being rude towards Marco. Marco points out that the only rude one in that relationship is her. Plus he’s tired of being her security blanket and feeling like a third wheel. I think he just doesn’t want to hang out with Sean’s scumbag friends.

All dejected, Spinner makes his way back to Degrassi and then he spots Rick waiting inside a car. Spinner get’s super pissed and drags his ass out. Rick starts to yell, “Spinner stop!” Spinner asks him if he stopped when he ravaged Terri. Paige then comes along pleading for him to stop too. Rick’s mom then comes out of the school and tells them to leave her son alone. Spinner just leaves crying. Ugh! I would have been like Kevin Dillon’s character in Platoon and told Spinner, “Fucking pussy! He’s laughing at you!” I would have beat the shit out Rick. But you know, this is Degrassi and it wants to teach that an eye for an eye is not the way. Spinner sits on a bench and starts to cry to Paige that he’s no different than Rick. Paige tells him that he is different because he stopped himself. *Eye roll* Whatever.

We conclude the B plot by Sean and Ellie having a conversation about their relationship. They both think that they’re dumping each other. Ellie tells him that she’s sorry for being a horrible girlfriend, and then she says, “You haven’t been a great boyfriend either.” I don’t know how she figures this, but Sean knowing better just agrees with her craziness and says that he doesn’t hate Marco, he just wants to date her.

At the hospital Terri’s dad comes out and tells them that they don’t know if she’s brain damaged or not. They all apologize for their behavior and Paige says that they should have said something. He makes them feel better by saying that they’re good friends.

Man, I must be rusty, this took me about two hours to write. Ridiculous. But this was a pretty good episode. I guess we had to have a domestic violence story and Degrassi delivered. I still say Rick should have had his balls cut off for what he did. Another frustrating thing is that we never found out if Rick was punished or not. But this is Degrassi after all and they always like to leave things open ended.


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Season 3, Episode 16, “Take On Me”

Ok all you Degrassi maniacs, this episode is possibly one of the worst episodes of the series. Definitely the worst one for this season. This is an episode that make’s me think, “Well this is unpleasant. Why do I want to be here?”

Pre-Credit Opener: Ellie comes up to the school and makes a face that pretty much shows that she doesn’t want to be there. We then see that she has some OCD thing because she starts to flick a rubber band she has on her wrist. Man she’s more fucked up than I thought. In the cafeteria Mr Raditch walks in dressed like a Mississippi Pimp. No, he’s obviously trying to dress like the asshole teacher was in The Breakfast Club. The students there are Sean, Ellie, Jimmy, Hazel and Toby. Anyways, Raditch just lays down the law and tells them to study and to think about why they’re there. Sean being a rebel burps at him as he’s walking out.

Being lameo’s they actually do what Raditch tells them to do. Except for Sean. Sean is just throwing his prized rubber ball against a wall, annoying everyone. Jimmy can’t stand it and just has to say something. Sean tells him to fuck off and throws the ball up. It knocks down a part of the ceiling almost killing Ellie. But Ellie does’t care about her well being, she just cares that it fell on her emo bag. Sean goes to see if everything is alright and Ellie acts all strange like she doesn’t want anyone near her bag.

I guess they don’t want to get into trouble so the guys are trying to put the ceiling tile back. But because Toby is a useless idiot he can’t get it back in. All of a sudden they get unbalanced and fall to the floor killing Toby. Yes! The moment that I’ve been waiting for. But no, they just fell and didn’t even get hurt. The episode would have been much better if it was one of those situations where they killed Toby and they got rid of his body and they all made a pact never to talk about it again. But they would never do something awesome like that. By the way, the stunt person they used for Toby looks hilariously bad. Anyways, Ellie helps Sean up and they seem to have a connection. Just like Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald!

Barely an hour has passed and Hazel is complaining about the Saturday detention taking an eon to be finished. Sean rolls his eyes and she says, “Some of us have social engagements.” Sean responds with, “Like what? Combing Paige’s ass hairs?” Jimmy acting like Emilo Estevez tells him to back his shit off. Ignoring him because Sean can easily kick his ass as we’ve seen in past seasons, he wonders out loud what Hazel did to end up in Saturday detention. Ellie all of a sudden says that she got caught skipping class. They all make a face like they don’t care and who asked her. Jimmy goes on to say that he’s there because gopher balls over on the other table fucked up hacking the school computer and ratted him out. Hazel meanwhile avoids the question and runs to the rest room instead.

Oh lord. Radich must be at the peak of his homosexuality and is working out with some tight work out clothes and listening to some disco music in the school gym. Hazel walks in and he’s obviously embarrassed that she saw him doing his jazzercize .

Later on the five of them have become so bored that they start to play truth or dare. Seems like it’s Hazel’s turn and she says that she choose’s truth. Ellie right away wants to know why she’s there. Hazel being odd about it doesn’t want to say and says that she wants to do dare instead. Of course they pick out the worst dare that anyone could have come up with. She has to kiss Toby. Disgusted at first she decides to take a bite out of her shit sandwich and walks over to him. The cheesiest sexy music comes on and and she gives him a kiss while Toby is making a face that he can’t believe that a hot girl like Hazel would ever kiss a fucking dweeb like him.

Outside the school Snake is coming out of his car still looking like Lex Luthor but is looking much better. Seems like he’s finally coming back to work.

Back to the lame Breakfast Club, Toby is telling Hazel that JT is going to be so jealous after he hears that he kissed Hazel. Hazel tells him that he’s not telling him shit. Sean asks her what her problem is since it was just a stupid dare. Jimmy speaking for all of us, especially me says, “Because she’s too embarrassed to say that she macked with a total geek.” Toby knowing that he’s hated by all leaves all disappointed and back to his spot under the stairs like the troll that he is. Sean now pissed off starts to get mad at her and says that she’s a person who follows all the rules and doesn’t have the balls to tell anyone why she’s there. After Sean starts hounding her Hazel admits that she got caught looking at porn on the school computer, much to the delight of all of them.

To make the time go by fast they start to play games where they’re throwing shit at Toby. I told you, no one likes him. Snake comes in and asks them what is going on in there. Jimmy tells him that they’re all there because Mr Raditch gave them all Saturday’s. Snake then tells everyone that he’s all done with chemo and he’s ready to work again. He just doesn’t want to be stuck at home with Spike and her Devil child. So who can blame him.

Sean sits next to Ellie and he asks her what’s up with her and the rubber bands. Ellie tells him that it’s a therapy technique to help her stop cutting herself. Sean being genuinely interested asks her why she cuts herself. Being emo as hell, she tells him that it’s the only pain that she could control. He says that it makes sense and she tells him that he’s the first person to say that. She goes on to say that people talk about him too and his reputation for stealing shit from the school. He pretty much admits that he does steal. Just as Jimmy is impaling Toby with a stick Radich walks in and is super pissed to see them goofing off. Ah, we finally see why Ellie was careful with her bag, she has a tape recorder there. Why she would want to record them is beyond me, they’re all so boring.

And we quickly get the answer to that in the next scene. Seems that she’s taping them for some stupid report for either the school paper or Caitlin’s TV station. So wow, Raditch has put each of them in separate rooms for the rest of the day. That’s pretty illegal to do, especially since he’s not even supervising them. Ellie comes into each room and talks everyone into breaking out and wandering around the school. So yeah, we get a lame montage of the five of them doing wacky stupid shit around the school. Eventually they find an elevator that leads to the roof.

Being a big puss Toby is telling them that he doesn’t think that it’s such a good idea. Hazel tells him, “Stop being a bitch and come on!” Hazel wonders out loud if they’re the only ones that have gone up there. Jimmy finds a necklace making it obvious that other people have been up there before. Being romantic he gives the dirty thing to Hazel because she loves it so much. Jimmy then decides to go for it and kisses her. Else where Sean tells Ellie that he thinks that she’s cute. Sean goes on to say that she doesn’t seem afraid of him. Ellie points out that Sean isn’t freaked out by all of her problems either. I guess this is her being romantic, she exposes her arm and shows Sean all of her hideous scars. Because he’s cool, Sean just holds her hand.

Alone because who would want to be with Toby, he sees Mr Raditch and Snake walking out, talking about all the bad behavior from the students lately. Snake tells him that they’re acting like the police. They should educate them yes, discipline them when it’s needed. But that life is too short and he shouldn’t be trying to control them. It seems like he took what Snake said to heart but then he see’s Toby up there because he’s a stupid fuck. Raditch makes a run for it, while the rest of the Degrassi kids do the same.

The rest of them make it to their respective class rooms but stupid Sean locked his own door for some reason. Jimmy tries to help but it’s too late. Sean just tells him to go just as Jimmy opens the door. But uh oh, as he’s running in he drops the keys that Raditch finds as soon as he goes into the hallway. Back in the cafeteria, Raditch is chewing them all out. Since no one is going to rat the person who did it, he decides to give them all Saturday’s for another three weeks. But he seem’s to have a change of heart and just says that he’s trying to do the right thing with them. At that Toby tells him that it was him who took the keys. He tells him that he appreciates his honesty and then tells the rest of them to go home and enjoy their weekends.

Jimmy tells him that he didn’t expect for Toby to be a man and he finally gives him that high five that he was waiting for in the previous episodes. Ellie says that they should take a group photo. As she’s taking out her camera, the tape recorder falls out and they all hear Sean and Ellie’s conversation. They all get disgusted at her and she explains that it was for the TV station. Toby’s all, “You were recording us?” But please, no one gives two fucks for Toby. Sean quickly figures out that it’s about all the thefts that has been happening around the school. Sean pissed off destroy’s her tiny tape with his boot and leaves fuming. Man, Ellie is going to cut the shit out of her arm now.

Seems like it’s Monday and Jimmy and Hazel are now a couple. As they pass by she says hi to Toby. JT noticing that someone cool actually talked to him asks what happened there that past Saturday. Ellie comes by Sean’s locker and says that she was wrong for what she did. But she really wants the connection that she had with him on the roof. She gives him another tape and says that there isn’t going to be a story. Sean having warmed up to her holds her hand and Ellie is happier than a pig in shit.

So yeah, this episode fucking sucked and it was a chore just to make a recap of it. It was such an unoriginal idea and they probably figured that any kid watching this has never seen or heard of The Breakfast Club before. I will admit that it was key in that two relationships blossomed from it and Toby is now being acknowledged as being a Human. But that wasn’t enough to save this shitastic episode. It was such bad TV and I hate the writers of this show for ripping off and ruining The Breakfast Club for life.


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Season 3, Episode 15, “Accidents Will Happen Part 2”

So we continue with this emotional roller coaster Degrassi style.

Pre-Credit Opener: Craig and Manny seem to be a couple again because Manny is carrying Craig’s bastard offspring. Craig is either really giddy because he’s just that excited or he’s just that insane. It has more to do with insanity it seems like. He starts to go on about wanting a little girl and how Angela has always wanted a baby sister. Their joy is cut short because they run into Ellie who tells them to step off. Paige meanwhile is being nosy as hell and has noticed how they’re both acting now. Paige pretty much suspects that Manny is pregnant. In the MI class the first thing Ellie did was tell Ashley about Craig going out with Manny, but Paige being a shit starter tells her that she thinks that Craig got Manny pregnant. Ashley is so shocked by the notion that steam comes out of her ears.

In the 8th grader’s class JT is beyond happy that Liberty has been paired with Sean for a school project. Man, I forgot that Liberty was even a cast member. Talk about someone who doesn’t matter. She’s definitely the Female Toby. Anyways, the both of them are less than thrilled to be working together. Sean calls her a brown noser teacher’s pet while Liberty calls him a loser wigger.

In the cafeteria Craig is already showing symptoms of being a maniac. Manny tells him that she already finished her milk, but he insists that she has another for her health. Jesus, Craig is already looking up names in a baby book. Ashley comes along huffying and puffying asking them what they’re reading. Craig tries to hide the book but she just snatches it from his hands. Seeing the book pretty much confirms that Craig porked Manny and that she’s now carrying his seed. Out of spite Ashley get’s everyone’s attention and says, “Hey everybody! These two have an announcement to make.” They don’t say anything of course and she continues with, “These two idiots are pregnant.” Manny runs out of there crying while Craig just stares at Ashley. Ashley tells him, “I can’t believe you slept with her!” Hey, that’s what you get for not putting out. I’m not defending what Craig did because it was a real asshole move, I’m just saying it happens.

Manny is crying her little eyes out in a stall and she can over hear Paige and Terri talking. Terri also being a moron says that she’s almost jealous of Manny. Paige is so annoyed with her she asks if she had a brain tumor for breakfast. Paige starts to then go off on Manny saying that she’s ruining her life. You can tell that Manny is taking what Paige said to heart.

Oh lord Emma walks in and calls her out of the stall. She starts to say that she wishes that she would have talked to her. That’s when Manny points out that they weren’t really talking anymore because Emma is a self righteous asshole. Emma being decent asks her if she wants to come over after school. Manny mentions Craig because he’s being really needy and obsessive in this episode. Emma just says to bring his Arnold Horshack looking ass along.

Great, we go back to the B plot which already isn’t that great. JT comes along on his skateboard and annihilates himself in front of everyone. Liberty helps him up and invites him to a Three Stooges film festival. JT once again rejects her and says, “Oh hell naw!” Tired of how annoying she is, he tells her that he doesn’t want to go out with her. She retorts with, “Because of Manny?” She then mentions that he should move on. JT even more annoyed tells her that her three year old crush on him is played out and tells her to fuck off. Wow, the B plot suddenly got better. Finally she got the point.

At Emma’s house they’re having baby 101 it seems like. Craig is all fascinated with Emma’s baby brother while Emma shows Manny what her baby looks like at whatever month she’s at. Manny goes on to say that she can’t tell her mother because she’ll be get her ass kicked and then get murdered for having a child out of wedlock. Apparently Manny’s parents are the strict religious types. The baby starts to cry because he’s sick or something. Craig tries to act like taking care of him is no problem. Manny meanwhile you can tell is getting turned off by motherhood by the second.

Emma answers the door and it’s her new man Chris. What the hell, is there ever a time that Chris isn’t beat boxing or acting like an 80’s robot? Anyways, Emma can hear Manny and Craig struggling to get the baby to shut it’s yap so he can fall asleep. Things predictably aren’t going well. Finally Craig is seeing how difficult it is to actually take care of another Human being. Manny obviously wants to run to Planned Parenthood. You know, I barely noticed that Manny stopped dressing like a whore. I guess pregnancy will do that to you.

In the MI lab Sean is going on about the first time that Canada started getting cars from Japan. But Liberty isn’t listening because she can’t stop staring at JT and his Bobby Brady hair. Sean mentions the fact that his big breasted girlfriend Amy dumped him for some guy at a motocross. But Sean could care less. He tells Liberty, “Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks.” Talk about a true Canadian gangsta. He tells her to move on and to get over JT. Uh oh, she smiles at Sean and you can tell she now has a thing for him. Poor Sean.

Outside the school Craig comes along and asks Spinner if he’s seen Manny. You can tell that Craig is manic about the whole situation, being all jumpy. Spinner asks him if he can ask him a question then slaps the shit out of Craig’s forehead. Spinner starts to ask if he’s lost his fucking mind because he got a girl pregnant acting like he’s all happy. Spinner starts to go on about how his life will be over and he won’t be able to do shit because he’ll have to take care of a baby instead. Craig now angry tells Spinner that he doesn’t get it. Basically Craig is desperate to have a family because his own family are all fucking dead. Sounding like a tyrant he says, “Manny and the baby, they’re mine.” Yikes!

We cut to Spike’s house and Manny comes barging in asking Spike what it’s like to be a single mom. Spike tells her the truth that it’s a tough, stressful life. Especially raising a kid like Emma. Spike then starts to talk about all the love a kid can give you too. Manny doesn’t seem interested in that aspect though. Especially when Spike mentions that she didn’t get to go to college or on trips. Manny says that she wants to study fashion even though I’ve never noticed that that was a passion of hers. Spike being polite says that that sounds nice and that’s when Manny, full of desperation says, “But Craig wants to keep it.” Spike’s inner militant feminist side comes out and says, “And is Craig always going to be there?” She goes on to say that ultimately the decision is hers. Manny seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is delighted to hear that.

Holy shit!! Liberty comes along and says to Sean, “You like?” Sean his trying his best not to laugh because she’s dressed like one of the Pink Ladies. Apparently Liberty thinks that Sean is a 50’s greaser. Wigger Liberty, he’s a wigger!! Sean all angry asks JT, “What is going on?” JT all smug and full of cheer says, “You’re the rebound.” JT tells him that the only way that he’s going to get rid of her annoying dork ass is to be brutal and just say that he’s not even remotely interested in her.

In the next scene we go to Manny’s house and it’s obvious that she’s ready to tell her mom that she’s a slut that’s pregnant. But she has to be careful about it or else she’ll be decapitated or something. She tells her mom that she saw her doctor and is pregnant with child. Her mom of course loses her shit. Manny says, “Mom, I’m not a little girl anymore.” Yeah, clearly. She goes on to say that she wants to have an abortion and says that she’s sorry. All sorts of crying ensues.

In the cafeteria Liberty comes along to Sean’s table and proceeds to make an ass out of herself. She tells him that they should go to the ravine and that she can get a pack of smokes with her five finger discount. Jay starts to laugh his ass off because she is the wackest, lamest person at the school. She’s at Toby’s level now. Sean tells her to cut the shit out and that he will never ever be interested in her. She runs away broken hearted. Meanwhile, their silent black friend with the do rag seems to be interested in her.

Manny goes over to Emma’s house and tells her that her mom was much more reasonable than what she thought. She’s even taking her to the clinic for an abortion. Surprisingly Emma is against this and says, “You can’t” You would have thought that Emma being a feminist would be supportive, but no. They start to talk about live and death. Emma even mentions adoption, but Manny doesn’t want to go through all that.

Finally we come to the climax of this episode. In the hallway Manny tells Craig what she’s going to do and he has the mother of all meltdowns. Craig is clearly a psychopath and tells her no, and that he won’t let her. Emma tells him to watch his hands because he’s becoming all grabby. Craig tells her to get lost and to mind her own business. Emma tells him that she agrees with him but Manny is her friend and it’s her decision. Craig being all possessive says, “It’s my baby!” Emma goes on to say that it’s her body and her choice. Manny all full of tears says that she can’t have a baby and Craig just walks away without saying a word. Emma doing the same thing.

In the MI lab Liberty is feeling sorry for herself because no one likes her. Shit, I know I don’t. Sean tells her not to feel bad because he knows someone that does. What a surprise it’s the thug. He probably just wants her to do his homework for him. Having no standards, she’s beyond happy that anyone likes her.

At the clinic Manny is having a talk with someone there about the abortion. Manny asks the woman how she will feel afterwards. The lady says that everyone has a different reaction to the procedure. Manny relieved that she’s terminating the pregnancy says that she’ll be ok. You know I’m disappointed that Manny didn’t have to fight her way through a crowd of protesters with one holding a baby fetus doll out to her like they did to Erica in Degrassi High. Oh well.

So this was a pretty good two part episode. Craig was over the top crazy in this one. He couldn’t even take care of a wet dream, let alone a baby. Manny meanwhile learned the hard way that if she’s going to have sex, she better use a damn condom next time. It’s obvious that an episode like this will cause a huge debate, but I think it was wrong of The N to not air it. Up until I saw this DVD release, I had idea that Manny even had an abortion.


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Season 3, Episode 13, ” This Charming Man”

In this episode Sean continues his downward spiral with Canada’s lamest gangstas. While the upper class men dive into the wonderful world of Drivers ED.

Pre credit opener: We begin the episode in Mr Armstrong’s math class. Chris comes along and asks Emma, “So English, did you read the chapta?” I ain’t bullshitting either, that’s how he said it. Emma all smitten with him says, “Sure.” then smiles at him like she has a little girl crush. Class begins and Emma get’s called up to the chalk board to answer a problem. She’s interrupted by Sean and his new big breasted girlfriend Amy making out in class. Emma doesn’t like this one bit and just glares at him with hatred in her eyes. Chris meanwhile is wondering why she even cares about an asshole like Sean for.

amy-sean

At Emma’s house, Spike proudly shows Emma Snake’s birthday gift which is a new used laptop. Fucking Spike is too cheap to get him a brand new one I guess, but then again, he did lose the other one thanks to Sean. So Snake seems to be out of luck. Emma offers to back up his data and she get’s instantly sad when she see’s a picture of her and Sean. It doesn’t last long though because she deletes it out of spite. Spike has taught her daughter well.

Back at Degrassi, JT and Toby are talking about Sean practically fingering Amy in math class. Emma tries to act like it doesn’t bother her, but clearly it does. They then start to talk about the rumors that Sean’s lame gang are stealing all sorts of shit from the school like the construction paper and all the Now and Later’s they could get their hands on. JT pretty much suggests that maybe it was Sean who stole Snake’s laptop, but Emma for some weird reason doesn’t think that he’s scumbag enough to do that to a sick man like Snake. But oh, yes he is.

The B plot involves Spinner, Paige, Jimmy and Hazel taking Drivers E.D. Paige tries to play with Spinner but he’s a nervous wreak because he wants to ride like the wind when he get’s his license. Big surprise he’s studying and can’t retain the knowledge. Plus he’s also blaming a Mrs Gonzalez for being a hard ass teacher.

paige-spinner

In the MI lab I’m assuming, Ashley and Emma want to use the DVD player for their environmental club, but big surprise, there’s a DVD player missing. Right away Emma suspects that it’s Sean and his crew of flunkies. So being Emma, she spots them outside and starts asking them if they know anything about it. Sean denies it and then has the nerve to act like he’s all hurt by the accusation. Oh lord, Chris comes along fucking beat boxing again, Emma clearly isn’t in the mood for his stupid bullshit. Emma starts to say that she’s trying to remember what it was about Sean that she liked. Chris again barely being understandable says something along the lines of, “Don’t bother, Slim Shady isn’t worth remembering.” He then asks her out on a hot date for some milk shakes, which quickly makes Emma’s day.  Chris meanwhile is so happy he starts to rap and pop and locks his way out of school with some Degrassi style hip hop music playing in the background.

emma-chris

Outside the older kids are waiting for their teacher and Spinner is delighted to see that it’s actually someone else. Some dude comes out of the car and Paige is instantly smitten with him. He calls himself Mr Falcone, but I always just call him Mr Falcon. Paige is now all hot and bothered and acts all nervous around Mr Wonderful.

jimmy-spinner-paige-mr-falcone

At the Dot Emma and Chris are having their date but she’s quickly distracted by Sean and his friends walking in. Chris is trying to sound like he’s interested in Emma boring crap but he’s going nowhere because she’s so fixated on Sean. All of a sudden she spots Jay stealing candy from the joint. What is it with these motherfuckers and candy? Anyways, Emma has had enough and decides to rat them out to the owner.

As they’re waking home Emma decides to go for it and asks Chris if he wants to go to Snake’s birthday party. He says sure and offers to rap for all the guests. Emma’s joy is short lived because Sean and his “gang” arrive and Jay get’s into her face. He tells Emma that they’re now banned for life from the Dot. Chris then get’s into his face and tells him to go eat somewhere else. Sean knowing that Jay would probably get his ass kicked tells him to just go. But Jay says that since they want to ruin their fun, he’ll start ruining their’s as well. Emma all smart alecky says, “And what is fun for you Jay? Stealing the school DVD player?” Because Jay is a dickhead, he pretty much admits that they stole Snake’s laptop. Sean makes it worse by making a face at him, pretty much cementing his guilt.

sean

Later on at night Snake is working on his piece of shit computer because he can’t sleep. He’s getting super frustrated because it keeps freezing on him. Hey, we’ve all been there right? Snake says that if he hadn’t lost his other one, he wouldn’t be using Spike’s cheap one. That’s when Emma says, “You didn’t lose it.” Snake asks her what’s that supposed to mean, but she annoyingly says, “Nothing.” I hate it when people do that.

Emma spots Chris at his locker and he says that he has the best present for Snake’s party. Turns out that he wants to give him his mix CD. But he can’t really tell Emma because she’s now obsessed with ruining Sean’s life. You can tell that he’s getting sick and tired of her.

At the drivers ed class, Spinner and Jimmy are making fun of Paige because she’s doing horribly in the class. Hazel meanwhile has quickly figured out that Paige is sucking badly in class because she wants to do Mr Falcon.

In the hallway Emma see’s another picture of her and Sean and she destroy’s it because she’s hella petty. She then see’s Sean and I gotta say, he is acting suspicious as hell. Looking all over the place holding a box close to his chest. Emma decides to play detective and starts to follow him around. But that’s the thing, she’s horrible at it and Sean confronts her and shows her that the box just has a bunch of jumpsuits for autoshop. He then starts to talk straight with her and pretty much tells her what’s what. He tells her that he’s sorry that he hurt her and that their breakup sucked. He then goes on to say that what he does with Jay and his new hoe Amy are none of her business. Which is true. Emma of course get’s pissed off even more because she doesn’t like being talked to that way.

emma-sean

Out in some park Spinner and Jimmy are still making fun of Paige, but that’s when stupid Hazel says that the only reason she’s doing bad is because of Mr Falcon and that Paige likes him. Spinner being a moron doesn’t get it right away, but he becomes infuriated and leaves huffing and puffing when he figures out that Paige want’s Mr Falcon’s D.

hazel-jimmy-spinner-paige

In the MI lap JT is playing NBA Jams on the computer and that’s when Chris comes along and says that Sean really fucked her up good. See, I told you he’s getting tired of her shit. JT doesn’t help matters by pretty much implying that he’s just her rebound. Chris now has the idea in his head and that’s when Emma comes around for her next scheme at getting back at Sean. She basically wants him to help her narc on Jay and Sean to Mr Raditch. Chris is all, “You’ll let this go?”Emma lies and says yes.

In Radich’s office Chris is actually being honest when they get asked if they saw Jay stealing all the shit that they’re accusing him of. He starts to say no, but he’s cut off by Emma. With no shame or remorse, she starts to say that she and Chris saw Jay and Sean loading some equipment into Jay’s car. Chris is so disgusted by her that he makes a face that makes him look like he smelled a really rancid fart. Radich of course has no choice but to call the police.

chris

Back to the B plot, Spinner is acting all aggressive towards Mr Falcon, being super disrespectful and talking shit. Paige tells him to calm down, but Mr Falcon tells her to stop distracting him because he has to improve. Spinner meanwhile is so caught up with hating him that he crashes the car. He probably did it on purpose because he wanted to kill him. The stunt man with the Zack Morris hair looks hilarious in this screen shot.

spinner-stunt-man

Outside the school Jay’s car is being searched by the Mounties. Jay being a smartass is telling them that they won’t find a thing because he’s innocent. Emma comes along and Sean starts to go off on her, not believing that she’s that fucking petty. But this is Spike’s daughter we’re talking about. Of course she’s petty as hell. Mr Raditch interrupts him and asks if there’s anything he wants to say. Sean blurts out, “Yeah! Eat a bowl of dicks!” Radich then gives him Saturday’s for the next two months. He then adds, “Don’t mess with the bull young man, you’ll get the horns.” Sean meanwhile spits in front of Emma’s feet and leaves fuming.

jay-mr-raditch

In the hallway Emma finds Chris and she’s all giddy about getting Sean in trouble. Chris asks her, “What about Simpson’s computer?” That’s when Emma shows her true colors and says, “What about it?” Chris has finally had it when she says, “Sean is finally going to pay for what he did to me.” He goes on to say that she’s not over him yet and that he’s just wasting his time. Which is so damn true. He does the Electric Slide and leaves all pissed off.

It’s finally Snake’s big birthday bash and Spikes brings him a desk top cake. I guess Snake is now known as being a techno nerd douche bag instead of the life ruining idiot he was back in School’s Out. Snake tells Emma that he heard that Chris is going to make an appearance but she says that he’s not coming due to him hating her guts. Snake just tells her that if he’s a good person, he’ll forgive her.

spike-snake-emma

At the Dot Paige comes by and Spinner tells her to leave him alone because he’s working so that he can pay for all the repairs that he did to the student car. Paige tells him that she loves him and blah, blah, blah. Spinner tells her that he switched them back to the mysterious Mrs Gonzalez. I had no idea students had the option to switch back in forth between teachers. But hey, this is Degrassi. Paige says, “It’s ok, I will miss those dimples, chiseled jaw and that huge bulge of his.” Spinner get’s steamed but that’s when she laughs and says that she’s just kidding.

spinner-paige

In the last scene Emma spots Chris at the mall and she tells him that she loves track 3 to whatever rap album he’s listening to. But Emma is full of shit. You can tell that she listens to The Dave Matthew’s Band and Nickelback. She starts to then kiss his ass and asks him for another chance. She promises that she’ll never talk about Sean again and that she did what she did because he broke her heart. Chris mumbles, “Does it feel any betta?” She says that it might if he would come over for some birthday cake.

emma-chris-end-credits

So this episode pretty much sucked. I didn’t care for the B plot at all and Emma was just annoying as hell through out. I can totally see why people hate Emma so much for. But no worries Degrassi fiends. The next episode is better because we continue with Manny and Craig’s relationship. See I told you Manny became a much more interesting character once she stopped hanging out with Emma.

 

 


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Season 2, Episode 16, “Message In A Bottle”

So this is more of a Sean episode and his have always been good ones. Way better than the usual bullshit we get with Toby and JT. The last episode straight up sucked!

Pre-credit opener: Sean and Emma walk into his little shanty and it’s a fucking dump. Apparently they’re there to study for chemistry. Which is pretty advanced stuff for their ages. Anyways, she starts to lean back in the chair and of course it’s a termite eaten piece of shit because Sean tells her to be careful because the leg is broken. They attempt to study again, but that’s when Tracker walks in. I forgot all about Tracker. Seems like he’s pissed off over the way he’s being treated at his crappy job and he’s just quit. Hilarious that his honor has been besmirched. He’s so pissed off that he quietly tells Sean to take Emma and beat it.

Sean, Emma Tracker

The next day of school Sean and Jimmy are at basketball practice and Coach Armstrong tells them that he likes their team work and that’s how they should be at regionals. Spinner tries to be a kiss ass and tells them both that they are pretty great together, but we see that they still don’t like each other due to Sean kicking Jimmy’s ass about five times last season. Jimmy makes the first move by telling Sean that he’s having a party that night to celebrate making the regionals and Sean and Emma are invited. I love how Jimmy get’s to have a party for something stupid like that. With no parents involved at all.

In the hallway, Emma invites Sean over to her house for dinner. I’m sorry, but since when did these two get back together? Did we skip an episode or something? Oh yeah, since the wedding, but they never showed anything after that, so I guess we have to assume. Thanks for being lazy Degrassi writers. Sean tells her fuck no because in his sad little world, Jimmy’s party is more important than a boring night at her house with Spike and Snake. Speaking of, Snake comes along and it turns out that they’ll be having Sushi for dinner. So Sean is pretty much fucked for the time being.

In the MI lab Jimmy just can’t help staring at Ashley. It’s hilarious how the camera makes her look all dreamy. Drake tells Spinner how much she’s changed. But she’s still the same crab apple that she has been since last season. In fact I would say that she’s worse. Terri comes by and Jimmy invites her over, but he probably never would have invited her if she wasn’t friends with Ashley. That has to hurt on some level for Terri.

Ashley

In the hallway, Paige is going on about going to a spa weekend and is going to skip the party. Ellie says that she’d rather be sculpting her ear wax than to go. That’s just fucking nasty. But I don’t know why she said that, she wasn’t invited to go in the first place. I have to say, I like Ellie, but what the fuck is going on with her whole look right now? She looks like a goddamn Gremlin. Anyways, Terri pressures Ashley to go the party with her.

Terri, Ashley, Ellie, Paige

Back at their rats nest, Sean and Tracker are having a bit of a fight due to Tracker no longer having a job. Sean is pissed off because it’s the same behavior that his piece of shit dad had whenever he lost a job. Tracker is still going on about his pride and honor, but the problem is, he has none. He goes on to point out that he’s not a lousy drunk who spends their money on booze like their dad did. Sean calms a bit down when he learns that Tracker has a big job interview at the cracker factory the next day.

Sean, Tracker

It’s finally time for the big, boring dinner and apparently they’re going full on Japanese for some insane reason and they all took their shoes off and are eating sitting down. Sean is hella embarrassed because his best dress socks have two huge holes in them. How humiliating. Spike meanwhile is being all judgmental about Sean’s shitty home life and he can totally hear them talking about him. Sean can’t help it because he’s a bad seed and goes into the kitchen for some water, but instead takes a huge gulp of some vodka. That sure settled his nerves.

Sean

Spike and Snake are such fucking duds during the dinner conversation that Sean is almost falling asleep and it’s not the vodka doing that to him. Sean then accidentally spills some of it on Emma and she goes to change, Snake then leaves Spike and Sean alone while he makes some coffee. This is when Spike insults the shit out of Sean because she offered to send him home with some left overs. Sean leaves all pissed off because now his honor has been fucked with. Tracker’s so screwed cause he could have gotten a good free meal instead of having his usual Top Ramen Noodles for dinner.

Spike, Snake

We then cut to Jimmy’s party at his nice apartment and it’s packed with all the Degrassi extra’s. Ashley and Terri walk in and Ashley right away can’t help being a sour puss and tells Terri that she shouldn’t have come. Jimmy comes up to them and it’s more awkward small talk thanks to Ashley. But the awkwardness is saved thanks to some dude who came from the 1980’s via Doc Brown’s time machine and wants Jimmy to explain to him how the CD player works. Ashley get’s all butt hurt, but she should realize that he’s being the fucking host. Not everything is about you Ashley! Goddamn.

80's metal guy Ashley, Terri

Back at Emma’s, Emma is pissed off at Spike for fucking up their evening. I love how Emma rightly assumes that it’s Spike’s fault.

Sean finally arrives at the party and Craig is way too concerned about Sean. Probably because he can smell all the alcohol coming out him and is afraid that Sean is going to beat the shit out of him like his dad did. After he hugs it out with Jimmy, Sean spots the booze at his parents bar and you can tell that he wants to get fucked up. But stupid Craig won’t leave him alone. This is when Sean starts to pour all his insecurities about him being a big poor loser and Emma probably hates him now. Craig all of a sudden fucks off and Sean takes this as the opportunity to get even more drunk off his ass.

Jimmy, Craig, Spinner, Sean

As the night continues the Degrassi kids are now having a rave and the time traveler attempts to get with Ashley and she can’t help being all bitchy and tells Terri that they’re leaving. But Jimmy stops her at the door and says that they haven’t talked yet and she get’s all happy when he says that she’s the only guest that he wants to be with.

Emma finally comes by after many hours it seems like. You would have thought that she would have assumed that he was at Jimmy’s, but apparently Emma is a complete idiot. Emma tries to get Sean to leave and they start to fight over the bottle. That’s when Sean drops the Vat 69 and Jimmy is way, way too pissed off over the broken bottle. Probably because he knows his parents are going to be pissed. But his parents are the ones to blame for leaving him alone unsupervised.

Jimmy pissed

Outside Jimmy’s condo, Sean is drunker than a motherfucker and is busy putting himself and his family down. Emma acts like Spike, which is a bitch and then calls Spike to come and pick them up. Sean is beyond mortified at the thought, but again, he’s fucked.

The next day Jimmy and Ashley start to talk and all of a sudden she kisses him. That was sudden. Sean comes by and tries to talk to Jimmy, but Jimmy hates his guts again. Sean should just tell him who cares and to go fuck himself. Emma comes by and they have a quick heart to heart. Sean is beyond embarrassed that Spike knows that he was drunk. But Spike is one of those shitty parents who let things slide, as long as it doesn’t happen again. Emma tells him that she still likes him, doesn’t want to dump him and still wants to keep seeing Sean. So at the end, all is well in Emma’s white bread world.

Ashley, Jimmy Sean, End Credits

This was a good episode. Most Sean episodes are good. I love how everyone at the party is shocked at the underage drinking. Making Sean the coolest kid at Degrassi, because the other students are lame as hell.


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Season 2, Episode 15, “Hot For Teacher”

Right off the bat I’m just going to say that I fucking hate this episode. It’s so juvenile and ridiculous. Mrs Hot Body is featured through out, but not even she could save this stinker of an episode.

Pre-Credit Opener: Mrs Hot Body is talking about God knows what and JT is already annoying the shit out of me by acting like a stupid asshole. He starts to play with these skeleton elephant models and she comes up and tells him to stop acting like a jackass and that he now has detention with her, before and after school. He says ok and is happier than a pig a shit. He then burns a hole in her ass because he’s staring so hard. I have to say, I can’t blame him.

JT

I wonder if they’re trying to pay tribute or if the writers are just hoping that kids won’t know that they just ripped off a shot from The Graduate. Anyways, Mrs Hot Body looks smoking hot in the little outfit she has on and JT being a walking hard on is happy to be all alone in her presence. He just can’t help staring at her tits and then he tries the old, you dropped your pen on the ground bit, but she’s not having it. Turns out JT’s job is to take care of a couple of Guinea Pigs.

JT, The Gradute Ripoff Shot

In Snake’s class, Sean is all hard up for all the horny details on how it was like to be all alone with Mrs Big Tits. He must be extra hard up if he’s believing any of JT’s bullshit. Which includes her bending over to pick up his pen. Snake does the exact same thing and it’s very disturbing to watch.

JT, Snake

We come to the B plot of this episode and it involves Spinner. He’s talking to Coach Armstrong about this really hard math problem and right away Armstrong wants to vomit due to Spinner’s nasty pits smelling like death. Spinner heads back to his seat and is just B.O. dusting everyone with his stench. Ashley asks Ellie if it’s Spinner who stinks and so Ellie takes it upon herself to tell him that he does indeed smell like sweaty balls. She’s all, “Rule number one of puberty, shower everyday.” If I was him I would have told her fuck you and then die of embarrassment.

Spinner, Ashley, Ellie

Outside class, Spinner comes up to Jimmy and asks him if he really does stink and Jimmy confirms that he’s stunk all week long. At that Spinner get’s pissed off at him for not being honest and wants an honest pact between them. We come upon a scene where Toby tells Emma and Manny that JT’s new girlfriend is Mrs Hot Body, but of course they don’t believe him. My God, I am seriously hating this episode right now!

Thankfully we go to Ashley who is acting a lot like Claude from Degrassi High and is reciting the most depressing dark story ever. The only one who seems to dig it is Ellie, everyone else is all, “What the fuck was that?” Spinner urges Jimmy to be honest since they made an honesty pack, but I don’t remember Jimmy agreeing to it. Anyways, he says that the story blew goats for quarters and it sounded like a suicide note. Ashley gets all pissed off, looks at him with hatred in her eyes and calls him at conformist. But couldn’t you argue that Ashley is one too? She is copying Ellie’s Goth style and attitude.

Ashley

In the Hallway Mrs Hot Ass calls JT into her class and says that she wants to show him something. Sean makes a face like JT is about to enter Mrs H’s love cave. But of course she just called him in there to say that one of the Guinea Pigs is pregnant. In the computer room, Emma see’s that JT is actually online during his lunch hour and since he’s in lust with Mrs H, he wants to know everything about Guinea Pigs. Except retard doesn’t know how to spell it so he’s at a lost until Emma corrects his spelling.

Sean, Mrs Hatzilakos, JT

Speaking of Mrs H, we cut to her science room and she’s doing a science experiment with balloons. They’re trying to say that thanks to Manny’s mane, that the balloons are floating due to static electricity or something like that, but you can clearly see the strings holding the balloons up. They should have hired Mr Wizard to get that shit to work. Coach Armstrong comes in and they go talk in the hallway. Toby and Sean make fun of him by saying that Armstrong is boning her, but please. JT could never get a woman like her. Him getting the Guinea Pig pregnant sounds more plausible. But JT takes this as the time to put two balloons like they’re her big tits and then Toby motorboats him and get’s a boner. She comes back in and is beyond hurt by JT’s antics. But I don’t know why she cares what an asshole like JT thinks of her.

Mrs HatzilakosToby, JT, Sean

It’s a new day and Ashley comes along and actually thanks him for being truthful about her shitty suicidal story. She says, “I like this new Jimmy.” But he hasn’t actually changed his personality at all. Spinner then takes this as an opportunity to say that he and Ashley getting back together is the worst idea in the history of ever. He goes on to basically say that Jimmy is Ashley’s bitch whenever they’re a couple.

In the zen garden, Mrs H is sitting there listening to some Yanni and JT comes along and tries to apologize to her. She just says whatever and he asks her what else does she want. I was assuming that she was going to say that she hates it that most guys only see her as a hot piece of ass. But she takes the time to basically say that JT is a massive tool and that she’s sick and tired of him acting like a jackass all the time. I guess she’s happy being a sex object. JT probably wanting to hurt her says that he’s transferring out of her class, but she could give two fucks if he leaves or not.

Mrs Hatzilakos, JT

After school, Terri see’s that Jimmy is working on a honesty list for Spinner and it’s just pointing out all of his faults. Which is hilarious. Terri starts to say that this is a horrible idea. But Drake get’s so annoyed with her that he threatens to make a Terri list. I’m sure her Satanist past would have gotten in there.
Jimmy's List

We finally come towards the end of the episode and the stupid guinea pig get’s loose and Mrs H and JT get into a chase with the stupid rat. (Is a Guinea Pig considered a rodent? Eh, who cares?!) It finds a hole in the wall and in it goes. JT cares way too much when Mrs Hot Bod tells him that the janitor conveniently spread rat poison all over the school. If I were him I would have said, “Oh well she’s fucked, see you tomorrow!”

As all the Degrassi kids are leaving, Spinner and Jimmy are just telling each other everything that annoys them. Spinner says that Jimmy has a shiny forehead. Is that racist? Anyways, their faults are hilarious to me.

To cut my torture I’ll just summarize. JT turns down the lights and puts on some soft music. He read an article that Guinea Pigs love that shit, but I think he was also hoping to seduce Mrs H. Who can blame him? I think we’ve all had at least one teacher that we wanted to fuck. I know I did. Anyways, the Guinea Pig comes out just in the nick of time and has her litter.

JT, Mrs Hatzilakos

The next day Spinner and Jimmy are still pissed off at each other and they realize that telling the truth is for the birds. They get a laugh out of Mrs Kwan having a bunch of ink all over her mouth. I would have just assumed that she was blowing an octopus.

Jimmy, Ashley, Spinner Mrs Kwan

Thank God, the episode ends with JT telling Sean and Toby about the stupid Guinea Pigs being born. For some reason they were disappointed that his story didn’t lead to Mrs Hot Piece devouring JT sexually.

JT, End Credits

So yeah, this episode sucked. They should never give the lead story to the younger cast members because they’re story lines are always the worst. Yick, Arthur, I’m looking at you when I reviewed Degrassi Junior High! The only good thing about it was the whole Jimmy and Spinner truth plot. We at least had some eye candy with Mrs Hatzilakos, but even she couldn’t save this turd. This episode is definitely the low point for the season.


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Season 2, Episode 9, “Mirror In The Bathroom”

So what I hear is that a lot of people hate this episode and who can blame them because it stars Toby in it. I have a feeling this one is going to be a real chore to write out.

Pre-credit opener: We see Liberty doing the school announcements congratulating Milhouse on a job well done competing and winning first place in the Canadian computer nerd Olympics. Oh shit, not even first place, it was third. See he’s such a loser that even in a competition amongst nerds he still can’t win. But I love how he’s looking around for people’s reaction but it’s clear that no one gives two fuck about him or his feat. He get’s even more disappointed when Sean get’s all the praise for being that month’s Degrassi sports MVP. It’s hilarious to see his generic jacket that just says Wrestling on the back. It’s like John Belushi’s now iconic sweater from Animal House that just said College. But I doubt the Degrassi writers are that clever.

Sean Toby

In Mrs H’s biology room he asks her if everything about them is decided through their DNA. She explains that eye color is, and the fact that she’s sexy as hell, but everything else is all them. He’s even more depressed now because being the class dip shit was all his doing. JT tries to reassure him that being a huge nerd isn’t a big deal but Milhouse is determined to change that aspect of himself, so he decides to go out for the wrestling team.

Toby, Mrs H

Out on the quad Spinner is saying how impressed he is by Terri’s new flip phone because it has wireless access, email and a GPS. Which still makes that phone very wack because it seems like it has a green screen. Paige and Hazel come along and demand to know where she got the money to buy a brand new phone and a new bag and coat. She just says that her dad made some extra money and that’s when Paige says, “What did he rob a bank?” Spinner tells her to leave her the fuck alone already and to mind her one business. But she’s determined to know because she’s nosy as hell and her guess is that Terri is shoplifting all her new swag.

Terri

In the cafeteria JT is telling Milhouse the same thing I was was thinking that if he tries out for the wrestling team than he’s going to get murdered. Toby figures that if he trains hard enough that he’ll get into shape in order to kick some ass. But come on, let’s get realistic here. He couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if his life depended on it. Ashley comes along and it’s now the look that she’s going to have the rest of the season, dark and very short hair. Toby calls her a vampire and says that he won’t be home because of wrestling practice. Even Ashley being all emo can’t help laughing at his puny ass.

It seems like it’s a new day and Terri and the girls are hanging out on the steps and that’s when Spinner walks in and asks her why didn’t she tell them. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he takes them outside to look at something. They get to a bus stop and holy shit. Terri is in an ad campaign for a plus size clothing line called More Grrrl. What a name. Terri tells them that she didn’t want to tell them about it because of her weight again. And to make her point some kid who I’ll name Sabu comes along and starts making fun of her asking her if the photographer used a wide angle lens. Everyone defends her, but Terri still feels bad because of that asshole.

Terri, Sabu

Milhouse walks in for the try outs and is immediately intimated by Sean choking out Sabu on the floor. Coach Armstrong starts to weigh them for their weight classes and this black nerd totally wants to wrestle Milhouse because he knows that he can take him. But Armstrong says that they’re in different weight classes and Milhouse is going to be paired off with Sean. This is literally the battle between the eye brows and it’s over in about 2 seconds. So pathetic.

Sean, Toby

In the MI class JT tells Toby about some wrestling website that he just happened to find. The point of this boring scene is that making weight is bad for you. Very, very bad and in true Degrassi fashion Toby is going to have to learn this lesson the hard way. Too bad we have to witness it.

We then go into a training montage with JT helping Toby lose weight. I bet this is the first time that Milhouse has actually done something physical outside of gym class. We should have heard You’re the Best Around from the Karate Kid during this scene, but I’m more than sure that Degrassi couldn’t afford it. Anyways, Toby runs around with a garbage bag around him because I’m guessing it’s supposed to make him sweat. He should have watched the classic 80’s wrestling movie Vision Quest to see how making weight is really accomplished, but I’m convinced that Toby would have seriously died. Toby starts to complain that in three days he’s only lost about 1 pound. JT decides to take Toby to the local Degrassi mini mart for a drink and that’s when Toby spots some ex lax. So of course he has the great idea that he’ll shit out the rest of the pounds.

JT, Toby

The next day of school Toby is obviously starving from not eating and is ready to be weighed again. Coach Armstrong notices the big drop in weight. Not really, just about five pounds, but he warns him that if he’s caught making weight then he’ll be cut from the team. But who cares. Toby dropped enough to wrestle the little black dweeb and unbelievably beats him. I never thought that Toby could over power anyone, but he did. So he’s now on the team.

At their house Ashley calls Toby Jockstrap and says that there are two giant chocolate muffins just waiting for his pudgy ass to devour. But since he wants to keep the weight off he decides to skip them and his breakfast. She points out that he’s been skipping his meals for days now. True to his fashion he acts like a complete dick and calls her a vampire again.

Ashley

In the Degrassi lobby Sabu is telling Toby that now that he’s on the team he get’s his own cheap generic windbreaker of his very own. Toby is beyond ecstatic at this point. Especially since it seems like this would be girlfriend Kendra just loves that he’s sort of a jock. It doesn’t last long though and he annoys the shit out of her and the new wheel chair girl. JT comes along and points out what a giant wannabe douche bag Toby is acting now. Toby acts like a dick towards him too and says that he’s just jealous because he’s just the mascot.

Kendra, Wheelchair

In the MI class Hazel asks Terri when her next photoshoot is and she says that very day, but she’s not going to go because she’s so goddamn insecure about her weight. Paige get’s all annoyed with her because she wants to back out of it because of what Sabu said.

Oh God! We get it Degrassi writers! One thing about Degrassi is that they always manage to cram their message down our throats. Even when we get the picture. Toby is all dizzy because he’s not eating and Ashley comes along giving him even more shit about it.  Toby orders a bunch of food just to get her off his back and the food looks nasty as hell.

Toby, Ashley

And of course the next scene is in the boys laboratory and Toby throws his lunch up. JT just happens to walk in and hears him yacking in the stall. Ashley comes along and tells JT that she’s worried about Toby. JT mentions that he’s been acting all crabby and that’s when she mentions that she’s pretty sure that he has an eating disorder. JT tells her that that’s only girl stuff but she points out to him that guys can get it too. So after school special here! We get more evidence of Toby not being well and even Snake notices that he looks like complete shit.

Spinner comes along and he hears Terri canceling her photoshoot. She tells him that she’s through with the plus size modeling gig because she hates her body. Spinner for once not being a fucking asshole tells her that she really is beautiful and that a lot of guys like a girl with some extra meat on them. He goes on to say that she shouldn’t listen to guys who put her down. I saw Christina Schmidt, the actress who plays Terri on Instagram and she is finer than a motherfucker. I know that has nothing to do with the story, just saying.

Terri, Spinner

Finally it’s time for the first wrestling meet and Toby is about five minutes away from dying or at least passing out because he’s so malnourished. JT tries to reason with him but he doesn’t want to hear a thing. He get’s all pissed off because Ashley and him are worried about him. I would say it was the starvation talking but Toby is just that big of a dickhead to get mad at something like that. He vows to JT that he’s going to go out there and win and not get third place in some geek contest.

Toby starts his match and immediately dies from his heart just stopping. He just drops dead and everyone is all horrified at the sight. But no, he’s still alive, that was just my little fantasy there. Much like Claude’s death Toby’s death would have zero impact on the school or the students.

Toby, Passed Out

This scene right here is the best part of the episode because Terri finally stands up for herself. Terri is telling Paige and Hazel all about her photoshoot and is even showing them pictures. That’s when Sabu once again makes fun of her by saying that she should join Degrassi’s sumo team. Terri can’t stands no more of this shit and goes off on his ass. She makes fun of his goofy job as an ice cream man and tells him how she made mad money off of one photoshoot. I have to admit, I laughed my ass off.

Terri, Paige, Sabu Sabu, Terri

At their house JT walks in and Toby tells him that Coach Armstrong chewed his ass out and kicked him off of the team. Serves him right for trying to become something that he’s not. Toby feels good because people actually asked if he was ok. Especially because it was Sean and Kendra asking for the most part.

Toby, End Credits

So yeah, now that I think about it, this was a big time rehash of the Degrassi Junior High episode when Kathleen had her eating disorder. Only they did a much better job at it than this go around. Maybe I would have given a shit if t was anyone else but Toby. At least Terri’s story line was a bit more entertaining and it was great to see her finally standing up for herself.