Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 4, Episode 16, “Eye Of The Tiger”

So from what I remember this episode is an emotional roller coaster. Let’s see if it’s as good I as remember it being.

Pre-Credit Opener: We see a bus opening it’s ramp and Jimmy totally looks like Darth Vader coming down from that Imperial Shuttle in the beginning of Return of the Jedi. Except instead of having cyborg legs Jimmy is rolling his machine down the ramp in second gear. I love how all his friends are just there gawking at him as he makes his triumphant return to Degrassi. Spinner comes out just in time and just awkwardly waves to Jimmy. Seems like that asshole never went by to visit him, but we all know what he did at this point. The guilt is strong with Spinner.

Man Jimmy’s having all sorts of problems moving around in that thing, he even got caught by some cables in the MI room. Spinner biting the bullet comes up to him and tries to talk, but he’s too busy mumbling a extremely lame excuse as to why he didn’t visit him once. Seems that he was just too busy and by that he’d rather be porking Manny. Not that I blame him. Jimmy meanwhile is pointing out the fact that he would have been there for him had he not been having surgery getting the fucking bullet out that turned him into Degrassi’s very own version of Professor X. He apologizes some more and it seems like Jimmy forgives him because he has other things to deal with. Like getting around the goddamn school. We then get a montage of Spinner kissing Jimmy’s ass by doing everything for him, including helping him piss and wheeling his ass around the school. But really, it’s all due to his extreme guilt.

Ugh, we cut to the subplot and it involves JT and Liberty. For me the episode has ground to a big halt. Her brother Johnny Mathis comes by and is just as disgusted as I am to see them kissing. Danny get’s pissed because JT would rather spend time with Liberty in her dad’s hot tub. He mentions that if their dad catches them, she’s dead meat. She says that he won’t because Danny will tell her that he’s home before he can find out. Clearly Danny is an asshole and is planning to fuck them both over. You can tell by the evil glint he has in his beady little eyes.

In the next scene the Degrassi boy’s basketball team has just won another game and apparently they’re on their way to the play off’s. Coach Armstrong comes out and tells everyone to give it up for Jimmy because he’s one of the reason’s that they got there. But really? Is the basketball season in high school that long? I swear Jimmy was shot months ago in the beginning of the school year. Anyways, he’s rolls on out there and that’s when Spinner announces that the MVP trophy will now be known as the Jimmy Brooks trophy. Drake is mighty pleased to hear this.

Back at Liberty’s, Liberty’s dad comes home and Danny tells him that Liberty is out back soaking in the hot tub. Her dad finds them both in there kissing and tells JT to get the fuck home. Liberty tells him that he’s one of her oldest friends. Which isn’t true. Liberty really doesn’t have any friends because everyone hates her there. But her dad is all, “I don’t give a damn!”

Meanwhile Jimmy is all alone in the gym trying to play some ball, but he can’t due to being a cripple now. Spinner by the way looks like a giant creep peeping in at him through the small window of the door. Spinner tells him that he better work on his game if he’s going to be back next year. That’s when Jimmy tells him that he’s boned and he’s never going to play basketball again. Spinner tells him not to think that way, but Jimmy says that he’s to blame for what happened because he bullied Rick as much as Spinner and Jay did. Spinner tells him that he wasn’t the one who put the paint in the bucket and then dumped it all over Rick during the game show. Jimmy goes on to say that Rick is the dickhead who has put him in that wheelchair for life. He makes Spinner feel like an even bigger shithead because he’s now wishing that Rick would have killed him instead of crippling him. Spinner now crying and not being able to take it anymore admits to Jimmy that he and Jay implied and made sure that Rick heard them that Jimmy was in on the scheme to humiliate him in front of all of Toronto. At least the people who saw the game show on public access. Jimmy fuming just rolls away in disgust.

The next day of school Spinner shows up and he’s now Degrassi’s newest pariah. They get a new one every season it seems like. I bet you that Jimmy was bitching to Marco about it and Marco being a big girl and gossip went around telling everyone what Spinner did. Craig and Marco come along giving him shit, Marco telling him that no one wants him there. Spinner tells them that he knows that he fucked up big time and that he’s trying to fix things. Craig tells him to stay away from Jimmy and that’s when Marco, feeling brave because he has the maniac Craig on his side tells Spinner not to come to some party going on that night. Man you know it’s bad when a skank like Manny who by the way is also a school pariah is giving you the cold shoulder.

We continue the horrible B plot between JT, Liberty and Danny. Danny tell’s JT that he should have asked him permission to go out with Liberty. Danny goes on to say that Liberty is the smartest girl in school and JT doesn’t deserve her. JT tells him that despite his stupidty, she likes him. That’s when Danny decides to bring up JT’s penis pump. I had forgotten all about that until now. I swear this season seems to be going forever. Oh lord, they start to have a fight like a couple of pansies. JT though actually fucks him up by throwing him all hard to the ground with Danny hitting his head on the pavement. Liberty conveniently comes around and blame JT for Danny getting hurt, even though it was that little pecker head’s fault.

At the Dot, Jay comes in and starts to berate Spinner because he just had to open his big mouth and admit what they did to Jimmy. Spinner tells him that Jimmy deserved to know the truth. Jay then asks him how it feels like to be an outcast and to have everyone hate his guts. It seems like they’re about to have a fight but they’re stopped by the manager of the place who has Cheeto Puff’s for hair. In the back alley Spinner finds Jay sitting on a garbage can and asks him if he wants to go at it. Jay tells him to relax and that he wants to introduce him to some friends. Turns out that it’s hard liquor.

Back at Liberty’s house Liberty is pissed off at Danny for ruining everything between JT and her. He goes on to say that JT is a moron and she deserves to have someone better. Crying, she simply says that he was her boyfriend. It’s mostly because she actually can’t get anyone better besides a pipsqueak like JT.

In the Degrassi woods, Jay and Spinner are having a talk about the party and it’s obvious that they’re already drunk. Spinner slurs that they dis invited him due to everyone hating him. Jay reacting like I would says that they could all go to hell then. Spinner points out that they weren’t Jay’s friends to begin with. Jay reasons that Rick is the real villain there and now that he’s gone, they’re now the scapegoats. Spinner feeling brave says that he’s going to the party anyways.

Turns out he’s not missing much because Craig is boring everyone to death with more horrible singing, karaoke style. Just then Spinner comes through the door like fucking Kramer from Seinfeld and drunkenly tells Jimmy that he’s sorry for everything that he did. Jimmy all full of anger just points out that he’s drunk and everyone tells him to leave. Spinner wanting to get punished wants Jimmy to really give it to him. Jimmy simply tells Craig that it’s his turn still, which is actually just punishing the audience watching this episode. Spinner leaves, but takes the car keys to Joey’s used car.

Marco having more of a heart than the others comes out and begs him not to go home drunk because he might kill someone or end up in jail. Spinner says that he doesn’t care and rolls up the window. Just as he’s about to take off Jimmy gets in the way with Spinner nearly launching his ass into orbit. Jimmy all annoyed with him tells him that he’s getting no sympathy from him. Spinner crying tells him that he wants his friend back. That’s when Jimmy points out that Spinner has really never treated him like a friend when he fucked him over with Rick. Spinner says that he needed to know, but Jimmy again, points out that it was mostly about Spinner feeling better. Jimmy then completely destroy’s him by saying that he should just go off a cliff because he’s dead to him already anyways. POW! If I were Spinner I would have gunned it right there.

We close up the stupid Liberty, JT subplot with Danny fixing things between them. Danny covers for her and they all repair their relationships. Yeah, I don’t care about this shit either.

Finally, it’s the end of the episode and Spinner is in Mrs Hatzilakos office where it seems like he’s going to admit what he did. And he does just that. I love how he throw’s Jay under the bus too for good measure. He goes on to say that he completely understands if he get’s suspended. But Mrs Hotass is now really pissed and points out that Jimmy’s life is ruined and Rick died because of his stupid stunt. She goes on to say that Degrassi has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to bullying. But I have to point out that the whole damn school was bullying Rick at one point. Including Spinner’s friends. Anyways, instead of getting forgiveness she continues the theme of this episode which is that Spinner get’s annihilated by everyone. She tells him that he’s a piece of shit and then she expels his ass right then and there. If he wanted to get punished, he sure got his wish.

So yeah, this was a pretty good episode despite the JT and Liberty bullshit. I still find it crazy that people actually like that story line or their relationship. As for Spinner, he definitely got what he deserved. It just goes to show that every action, no matter what has consequences. Everyone reading this, don’t be a Spinner, be a decent Human being. Also, don’t be a life ruining idiot.

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Season 4, Episode 4, “Mercy Street”

Uh oh, Rick the woman beater returns in this episode.

Pre-Credit Opener: Right off the bat Paige is super pissed that Rick has returned to Degrassi and you can tell by how flared her nostrils are. Marco, Spinner and Alex are pissed off as well. Emma not minding her business asks who he is. Paige tells her and reminds us all how Rick used to beat up Terri and she hates his guts because of it. Even though Paige treated her like shit all the time, but whatever. Emma becomes extremely upset when Spinner tells her that he’ll be in her grade starting the next day. This is trouble because a self righteous Emma is always a bad thing.

After the credits we see that JT is hanging out with Manny at Liberty’s. The reason they’re hanging out with her? Because she has a hot tub. JT still acting extremely immature asks Manny to pull his finger and he butt dusts her right then and there. Manny then asks Liberty if it’s cool for them to even be there, Liberty just tries to sound cool by saying that somethings you have to say what the heck. Seriously, she said heck and couldn’t even say hell. Anyways, Manny tries to ask if Emma can come over too. But Liberty still hates her for what she did in the previous episode. Manny has real nerve bringing Emma up since it was Manny who snitched Emma to Liberty. Oh lord, Liberty’s younger brother Johnny Mathis comes out with a ironing board and says that it’s their new diving board. JT climbs on top of it and of course it doesn’t collapse because he weighs a hundred and nothing. Still acting like a jackass he’s about to dive into the hot tub and that’s when Johnny Mathis pulls his trunks down and Manny gasps. Either because it’s the first time she saw his junk, or he has a real small dick. Either way, JT is humiliated.

Back at Degrassi Emma is hanging out with the upper class men for some reason. Rick comes by and tries to make small talk with them. Emma now taking up Terri getting beaten up as a cause even though she didn’t know her stops Rick from walking to class. Raditch tells her to step aside and she speaking for everyone says that they don’t want him there. Raditch knowing that she has a new cause every week tells her that it’s not one of her crusades and to stay out of it.

In the hallway JT is trying to get a date going with Manny, but she doesn’t seem to want to hang out with him. JT notices that ever since she saw his penis, she’s been acting differently. JT gives her a smootch but Manny breaks up their kiss because here comes Craig. They have some small talk, completely ignoring JT.

In the locker room JT is pissed that Manny still seems to be into Craig. Toby and Johnny Mathis (Danny) both say that Manny is hot and that maybe she is into Craig still. Toby also points out that they’ve only kissed a couple of times. Just then Craig and the other dudes come out of the shower and that’s when JT tells him that Manny is his girlfriend now and to respect that. Craig says that he does and that’s when he takes his towel off to dry his hair. JT immediately stares at his cock and Craig instantly asks him what the fuck he’s looking at. Spinner, being the worst person to do that in front of just laughs and says, “What?!”

After those hijinks, Rick comes up to Paige at her locker and tries to apologize for pushing Terri with all his strength and causing her to hit her head on a random piece of concrete block and split her fucking head open. Seriously, if you don’t know, that’s what he did to her. He tells her that he’s in counseling and asks how Terri is. Paige eyes full of tears goes to the bathroom to cry her eyes out. Emma not minding her business asks her what’s wrong and Paige is upset that Rick is back at the school and no one can do anything about it. Emma tells her that they’ll handle it, vigilante Degrassi style!

At the Dot Emma is hanging out with the older crowd and you can tell that she loves it. They don’t enjoy their time together though because that’s when Rick walks in. Everyone get’s pissed off and Emma wanting to make them like her goes up to Rick and tells him that no one wants him there. Rick just says that he has a right to an education. Emma tells him to go to another school or he’ll be sorry. He says that she can’t touch him or Raditch will get on her ass. She says he’s right, but since they’re not at school Emma grabs him by the arm and drags his ass out of the door. Paige and the rest love what Emma just did. But not as much as Emma is loving herself at the moment.

Back at Degrassi Emma is promoting her newest cause, Students Against Violence, or SAV. Nah, I just came up with that. Sean and Ellie come along and are annoyed that both Paige and Emma want to make life a living hell for Rick.

Oh boy, in the restroom JT has gotten himself a penis pump because he figures that Craig has a bigger Johnson than he does and that’s why Manny won’t bang him.

We get a montage where Rick is now feeling the pressure because everyone there hates him with a fury. The girls start to block his path, no one will let him sit with them at lunch. Shit even the metal looking guy and his mullet friend are shoving him against the lockers. But uh oh. It seems like Emma is starting to break and feel bad for him now.

In Mrs Kwan’s room Spinner is reading some rhymes from the legendary Kid Erich. He tries to say that he loves girls with a bootylicous ass but Mrs Kwan stops him. Rick then volunteers to read his thoughts from Gandhi of all people. He starts to talk about forgiveness, but Spinner is thinking, fuck that noise. He throws a paper at Rick and everyone laughs at him. Take that Rick and Gandhi!

In the hallway Manny see’s JT and she tells Liberty that she knows that he’s going to come up to talk to her. She wonders why he doesn’t leave her alone. Liberty points out that he is her boyfriend, but if she can’t stand being with him, they should just break up. JT of course comes up and asks her if she would like to come over to his house after school. Manny tells him yes, so going by that, I guess she’s going to break up with him.

Elsewhere Rick tries to give Emma a check, but Emma all full of herself says that she can’t accept it because the whole ribbon campaign is about him. Emma is then blown away that it’s about $500 dollars. Alex comes along and tells him that they don’t want his money. Rick then leaves when she asks him if he’s going to hit her too. Emma being greedy and stupid asks for the check, but that’s when Alex rips it up. Emma all annoyed says that maybe if she cared about the cause she wouldn’t have done that. Alex gets in her face and asks her what she knows about it. She then asks her if she’s ever had to ice down her mom’s face because some scumbag boyfriend beat her up. Or lay awake all night listening to her cry. Alex says, “I didn’t think so.” and leaves all annoyed. So yeah, big surprise there that Alex comes from a horrible home life.

At JT’s room, JT has put on some sexy music and dimmed down the lights. It’s as awkward as it can get and she asks him if he’s nervous. He tries to kiss her and he’s all sweaty and nasty. Manny being grossed out says she has to go to the bathroom. JT takes that as an opportunity to pump up his wang. Manny finally getting the courage to break up with him goes back into the room and catches him. Got damn that’s embarrassing.

Back at the Dot Rick walks in and Paige is instantly annoyed asking what he’s doing back there again. Alex being a shit starter says that he’s probably there to see his new crush Emma. Paige gets pissed and asks her if she’s starting to wimp out on her by feeling sorry for him. Rick makes shit worse by going up to her and saying, “Good afternoon Emma.” Emma now trying to prove to everyone that she doesn’t feel bad for him over does it by tripping Rick and humiliating him in front of everyone. Rick seems to go into a rage as he’s getting up. Jay seeing this takes Rick outside to kick his ass and does just that. Plus he breaks his glasses by stepping on them. Rick all defiant asks who else wants a shot at him. Alex says that she wants to hit him next and here’s where Emma fucks up by stopping her. Everyone of course get’s angry at her and she’s as hated as Rick is. Man, I just noticed, Rick is a hairy motherfucker. He looks like Teen Wolf in this shot.

The next day at school, Manny comes dressed like a pimp and she tells JT to go away. JT says that he was just trying to live up to Craig. Stupid JT thinks it’s because Craig has a bigger dick than him. Manny all annoyed tells him that it’s not his dick. It’s the way that JT acts. Which is really immature and Craig was never like that. But bullshit, Craig has acted like a jackass in the past too. JT now desperate because he doesn’t want to lose a hot piece like Manny says that he can change. But Manny tells him that it’s over.

We see that Emma is now on the outs with Paige and her group of friends. Rick comes up to her with some old nerd glasses and he tries to apologize. She tells him to stop. The only reason she did what she did was because it was wrong, it still doesn’t mean that she likes him or are friends. that being said, she asks him why the fuck he came back to the school, knowing that he’s hated by all. The episode ends with Rick saying that he likes it there and that’s he changed. He goes on to say that he’ll show them how wrong they are about him. Emma tells him that they’re not interested. Rick being delusional says that they will be some day. Now if you’ve seen the show, especially this season, you know how foreshadowing that statement was.

So this was a pretty good episode. Entertaining as hell and really makes you go, hmm. Not the JT and Manny part. He was annoying and I’m glad Manny dumped him finally. But the whole Rick thing. Sure he’s a dickhead that deserves everything what’s happening to him, but at the same time, you kind of feel sorry for him. Especially with the bullying. But this is just the beginning. Things are going to come to a head with this storyline.


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Season 4, Episode 2, “Ghost In The Machine Part 2”

Pre-Credit Opener: We continue this two parter with Paige in despair in her room rearranging all her clothes. Marco comes along and invites her to come over to Dylan’s to have a good time. But she’s super pissed at the moment and just yells at him. Marco tries to relate to her by bringing up the time that he was gay bashed and the fact that the assholes who beat him up never got caught. Instead of feeling comforted, Paige lashes out at him, but then says that she’ll be down in a minute. Clearly she’s fine.

So they’re at a college party, but Paige can’t hang with the big dogs because it seems like she’s losing her damn mind. Her nostrils look like you can fit a quarter up there. Speaking of, Hazel looks like she’s going to swallow someone’s soul, Evil Dead style. Yikes! Spinner not having a brain tries to be affectionate with her, but she can’t abide anyone touching her at the moment. Especially a dude.

Paige then tries to pick a fight with this chick and Hazel tells her to cool off. And Jesus, the girl seems to be crying because Paige pushed her against the wall. At first I thought she was going to make out with her. Now acting the fool, she comes along and starts to flirt with these two guys that she’s never met, getting drunk with them. Spinner sees what’s going on and takes her aside to Dylan’s room. Inside, Paige is trying to pretty much sleep with him because she figures that she’s a slut who deserved what happened to her. Spinner tells her to let go of the fact that she was raped. At that point, taking her anger out on him, she tells him that she never wants to see his dumbass face again.

Mercifully, we cut away to Joey who seems to be going through his books. Craig and Ashley come in with his new guitar and amp. Joey is blown away by such a fine guitar but then he get’s pissed off that Craig wasted $4000 on it. In the garage Joey walks in and pretty pathetic on his part, he asks Craig for some money to  help pay the mortgage. Craig on the other hand is being a dick because he feels that Joey is just trying to mooch some money off of him. Mentioning how his dad’s estate gives him money. Joey says that it’s just $250 a month and it’s not enough. Craig then accuses Joey of just wanting his money and if it was Angela, he wouldn’t be asking her for help. But yes he would, I’m surprised Joey hasn’t asked Snake for money yet. Might I point out that Craig is the mooch because Joey didn’t have to take his ass in to begin with.

Back at the college, Hazel is worried about Paige because no one has seen her since her little meltdown. Spinner all hurt, could give two fucks where she is at the moment. But then you see a look of concern for her.

Paige meanwhile has gone to Dean’s frat house and you know only trouble is going to come from this. She spots him trying to seduce and possibly rape a fellow coed. Dean knowing what she’s going to do, tries to stop her. But Paige get’s everyone’s attention and lets everyone know how Dean raped her. I don’t know if anyone listened to her though. Outside Paige is yelling at him that he raped her and being a cocky cock, he admits to it while making a really creepy grin that makes it obvious that he’s a rapist. He then starts to say that she must want some more if she keeps coming back to him. Paige now completely insane drives Spinner’s car into his, completely fucking up both vehicles. Spinner see’s the whole thing and yells at her to go home.

We get a quick montage of Paige getting a cab home. Joey being worried about Craig it seems like and then we see Craig arriving at Sean’s place. I didn’t even know they were still friends. They stopped hanging out together back in season 2.

The next day of school, Paige comes in for her weekly counseling session. The Asian teacher tells her that even though she lost her case, she still did the right thing by going to trial. Paige meanwhile is so jaded, you can tell that she’s not even listening to a word she’s saying.

After that, she comes up to Spinner and he asks her if what she did felt good. She says yes. Then goes on to say that she’ll get a job to fix up his junked out car. Just then, Mrs Big Tits tells him that the Mounties are there to speak to him. You can tell it’s serious by the music they’re using. And yup, Spinner is in deep shit because of what Paige did, looking like he wants to cry. Or is he?

We cut to the MI lab where Craig is eating fries and gravy. Ok, I love my Canadian peeps. I really do. But what the fuck is it with you guys and that nasty combo? Just asking. Anyways, it seems like Snake has come there to have a talk with Craig. He mentions the fact that Joey called him last night worried about Craig. Snake called Joey Craig’s dad. Craig still acting like an asshole tells Snake that he doesn’t have a dad.

At her house, Paige get’s a call from Spinner where apparently he’s under arrest. Seems that Dean got his license plate number and reported him. Being the good boyfriend, he takes the fall for Paige, reasoning that she’s been through enough already. At the police station Dean comes to Paige huffing and puffing saying that Spinner is dead. She tells him that she’s the one who actually did it and is there to tell them the truth. Dean then goes on to tell Paige that the frat kicked him out because of what she said. Not liking that she turned her back on him, he yells at her that he’s not finished. But Paige tells him that she is and especially with him.

We cut to Joey where he’s waiting for Craig. Craig comes in and says that he’s just there to get his shit and that he’s moving in with Sean. Joey not having anymore dignity tells him that he’s about to lose his business. Geez, what a surprise that no one wants to buy a used car from Joey’s lot. Seeing the piece of shit that Spinner bought from him, you can tell what kind of inventory Joey has. He mentions that he was wrong to hit Craig up for some money. But you can tell that he still wants Craig to help him out. He goes on to say that his credit is shot and that they’re about a cunt’s hair away from being evicted. Craig now feeling guilty says that he’ll take the guitar back and that he’ll give him the money. Joey tells him to keep it and goes on to say that his big dream is for Craig to go into the used car salesmen business too. You can tell that Craig is mortified at the thought. I know I would be.

The episode ends with Paige telling Spinner that she lost her license and that she’ll probably have a year’s worth of community service. After she makes a few bad jokes, she apologizes to Spinner for busting his car and hurting his feelings. She says that she still wants to pay for the damages and then asks Spinner out on a date.

This was an ok episode. While I know Paige was totally justified with being angry, she just annoyed me. But I swear that the scene between Craig and Snake went longer, with Snake ripping Craig a new asshole over the way he was acting. Am I right or was I just imagining that? This will probably be my only post this month, I usually get very busy in October. I’ll try to squeeze in another episode though.