Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama.


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Season 4, Episode 8, “Time Stands Still Part 2”

Previously on Degrassi, Joey is revealed to not only be losing his home, but his business is also failing big time because he’s a broke dick loser. The only good thing is that Caitlin has returned from her triumphant Aids world tour. But seriously who cares about him and his problems. Rick is the star of this two parter and his bullying has now reached a boiling point as Spinner, Jay and Alex dumped a bunch of paint over him and then they feathered him in front of a city wide TV audience. We finished the previous episode with him looking at his father’s hand gun. And now the shocking conclusion to this two parter.

Pre-Credit Opener: This episode finds us with Rick still staring at the 45 in his dad’s study. We cut to the school where Emma and Toby are talking about what happened. He says that they can just edit Rick being humiliated out of the show but Emma doesn’t think they can. JT meanwhile is laughing his ass off over the incident because everyone there hates Rick. Toby being a little toad just says that he wouldn’t think it was so funny if it had happened to him. Johnny Mathis being an asshole said he would laugh still. He then spots Rick and he’s come back to school still in his dad’s suit covered in paint and feathers. But he’s walking around like a zombie holding his back pack tight to his chest. You know he has it bad when even the extras hanging out in front of the school are making fun of him. Toby says that someone should talk to him, but Emma doesn’t want anything to do with him because she told him in the previous episode that she just pitied him and isn’t remotely interested in him romantically. Toby tries to talk to him saying that Raditch is beyond pissed off and that he’s going to punish who did it. Rick full of despair just says that they’ll only get a detention. Toby tells him that people will understand if he takes the rest of the day off, but Rick all ominous simply says that that’s one day that he actually wants to be there at school. The statement is accentuated by the tension in the music.

In the next scene we see Raditch berating the entire school over what just happened. In class Alex and Jay are trying their hardest not to bust out laughing. In Mrs Kwan’s class JT is still making fun of Toby’s loser friend Rick and says that he hopes that he’s finally gotten the hint and leaves the school. Man, it’s so obvious that JT is much cooler than Toby when he says that he’ll have to find a new gamer geek friend to look at porn together.

At the basketball court Spinner is laughing at how they got Rick back because he has a total lack of empathy. Jimmy sounding annoyed tells him to cut the guy some slack because he’s actually alright. But Spinner is still having delight over how Rick was embarrassed in front of the entire school. Jimmy asks what kind of person does that kind of shit and Spinner being an idiot admits that it was him and then starts to threaten Jimmy, but he can’t finish his thought because Jimmy get’s into his face and asks him what he’s going to do about it. Spinner intimidated starts to back away and Jimmy tells him to save the bully crap for someone who won’t fight back. To accentuate his point he shoves the ball into Spinner’s gut, taking the wind out of it. Spinner then hits him with the ball right in the face and that’s when Jimmy man handles him and shoves him against the fence. The fight is short lived because Coach Armstrong comes along and breaks it up. I swear, this show always has a fight that lasts about five seconds or less.

Oh God, we go back to Joey’s and Caitlin is asking him why he’s selling his house. Joey tells her, “I’m broke bitch!” He goes on to explain that it’s either his house or the dealership that goes, but that makes zero sense because the dealership is also folding because he just sells cheap used cars to clueless foreigners.

Mercifully we go back to Degrassi where everyone in the cafeteria is dying from laughter at the sight of Rick just standing there looking like a lunatic. Paige comes up to him and surprises everyone by actually not being her usual cunty self and tells him that she’s sorry about what happened to him and the people who did it suck ass. Her being decent seems to have saved her life because it’s obvious that Rick was there to fucking kill her, but he seems to have had a change of heart and tells her that he’s sorry for what he did to Terri. Finally he goes to his locker and puts the backpack in there and his father’s paint covered coat.

Next we have an awkward scene between Caitlin and Sidney. Caitlin tells her that she just got back that morning and she saw Joey’s house for sale with her name on the sign. Sidney tells her to cool her tits and she’s just doing it as a favor to Joey. Caitlin then asks her how much she wants for the joint and Sidney says, about $400,000. Caitlin knowing that the place isn’t worth that much offers $350.000. That or she’s just a bitch and wants to stick it to Sidney. Sidney tells her no way and Caitlin being cheap offers $375.000. Sidney’s all, “You’ve got yourself a goddamn deal!” and they shake on it.

Rick is in the rest room where he’s washed all that shit off of his face, you can tell that he’s still dealing with trying to get over that humiliating experience. But he can’t dwell on it because he hears some people coming and he goes and hides in the stall. Turns out it’s Spinner and Jay talking about whether Raditch knows or not. Right away Jay see’s that Rick is in there due to all the paint and feathers all over the floor. Knowing that he’s in there Jay starts to say that Jimmy was involved and set everything up perfectly. Spinner then says that it was great how he got him to be in the final round for his plan to work out. They walk out with Jay saying it was great having a man on the inside. Rick comes out of the stall fuming because to him Jimmy did the ultimate betrayal.

So oh shit. The tension filled music is back and so is his backpack against his chest. Rick walks up to Jimmy at his locker where Jimmy asks him how he is. He goes on to say how sorry he is about everything and that if Spinner and Jay give him more grief, he’s got his back. Rick not able to control his anger anymore says, “Like you stabbed me in the back.” Jimmy doesn’t know what he’s talking about and says, “Say what?” As he’s saying that he defended him, Rick pulls out his dad’s piece and points it at his chest saying that he only pretended to be his friend. Jimmy starts to back up a bit and it’s obvious that Rick is about to dispense his own brand of justice because he says like a psycho, “You made me do this.” Jimmy starts to run away but he doesn’t get far. Rick somehow managed to hit him in his back even though he had his eyes closed the whole time.

Degrassi trying to be dramatic as hell has cut all sound as everyone around there runs for their motherfucking lives. Craig rounds the corner and finds Jimmy’s limp body just lying there. It sounds like Craig wants to cry, whispering Jimmy’s name in disbelief

In another hallway kids are still running away from Rick’s deranged ass. Sean, Emma and Toby though act like people who have no logic and go to investigate what that loud bang was instead of running in the opposite direction like everyone else. They go around the corner and there’s Rick still holding on to his dad’s 45. It’s pretty damn clear that he’s now gone completely insane and he tells Emma that he’s sorry that he kissed her. Sean stating the obvious says that he has a gun and they should go. Rick in a rage yells at them to not turn away from him. That sure stopped them in their tracks. He continues to talk like a fucking nutcase and says that he’s glad that he found Emma because she made his list. Toby tries to talk to him but Rick just ignores him like everyone else. He starts to go off about his delusions again saying that Emma was shamelessly flirting with him and that he thought that she liked him. Sean now trying to reason with him tells him to put the gun down and that he knows what it’s like to be in his position since he hit a kid so goddamn hard he made him go deaf. He goes on to say that it can be so much worse, and pleads with him again to put the gun down. It looks like he’s getting through to him, but Rick has now gone to eleven and says that it’s too late because he already shot someone. As he says that he points the gun at Emma who’s now crying from fear. She doesn’t become his next victim though because Sean grabs the gun and they have a fight for it. All of a sudden the gun goes off and both Rick and Sean make shocked faces and fall to the ground.

In the next scene all of the cops are there at Degrassi sealing the school off from the outside world. Ashley’s mom comes running up to a Mountie and tells him that she got a call from them about Toby. For some reason they let her in and as she’s about to go up the steps she see’s Jimmy being wheeled out on a stretcher.

I love how the writers of the show are tormenting us by going back to Joey in the next scene. I remembered when this episode first aired I said to myself, who gives a shit about Joey’s B plot. He comes up to her and he’s all happy that he got a buyer for the house. But he’s just pretending, he knows that it was Caitlin that bought the house and he’s all pissed off because she just made him feel like an even bigger bald loser. He should be grateful that he has a woman that would do that for him. Thankfully they get a call about the shooting at Degrassi and off they go.

Back at Degrassi it seems like the Mounties have deployed their anti terrorist task force. We see all sorts of cops in body armor and sub machine guns. Right away we see that Sean is fine except for a minor wound on his arm. Hey look who it is! It’s Sam, Busy’s dad from Ready or Not as the lead detective. He starts to ask Toby why his friend would do such a thing and if he was teased. Toby all full of tears tells him that Rick was tormented everyday. Detective Sam then asks him if he noticed any warning signs about his friend. Acting like a little bitch he starts to cry and says that Rick wasn’t his friend and he was a psycho. Sean just seems to be in shock answering the other detective’s questions. That’s a real man there!

In what I’m guessing is the MI lab Snake is telling Emma that Rick needed help. Yeah, thank you captain fucking obvious. Emma traumatized tells Spike that he pointed the gun right at her. Raditch comes in and asks Snake if he can get into Rick’s emails, as they’re trying to look for any warning signs. Snake not being remotely professional starts to point fingers and blames Raditch for not listening to Rick and not getting him any help. Raditch tells him to shove it up his giant self righteous ass because it’s hard to be a principle to about 700 students and staff there. Snake then starts to go off on Raditch some more and that’s where Spike tells Snake to shut the fuck up already because he’s upsetting Emma and we all know that Snake does whatever Spike says because he’s pussy whipped. You know, Snake truly is a perfect asshole. He’s projecting his own guilt onto Raditch because if it wasn’t for him putting Jimmy on the same team as Rick for the quiz show, none of that would have happened.

Outside the school Caitlin and Joey can’t get in due to it being locked down still. Caitlin trying to act like a big shot says that she’s from the local TV station and the Mountie says that there was some gun shots fired inside, but that’s all he’s willing to say. Joey tries to get in because Craig is in there, but he’s easily pushed back by the cop on duty.

Inside one of the class rooms Paige is going crazy not knowing what’s going on. They start to go over theories and that’s when Paige tells them that she got a text from her mom about a shooting there. Hazel get’s immediately concerned because she see’s that Jimmy isn’t in class. We hear a knock and that’s when the Asian counselor comes in looking for Hazel. Out in the hall she tells her that Jimmy was shot and he’s being taken to the hospital. Hazel starts to cry saying that she needs to go, but she can’t because of the lock down. This scene didn’t seem realistic to me. Would a counselor really go to a girlfriend or boyfriend to tell them what happened? I mean, would that be a priority, I don’t think so. The only people that would be notified would have been his parents.

Finally the lock down is over and Raditch on the PA is telling everyone that they are to go straight home and not to talk to any reporters. But you know that sure as hell isn’t going to happen. They’re all going to stay and gawk. I know I would. Jay and Alex come out and he tells her to relax because she’s saying that she knew she shouldn’t have done what she did. You can tell that she feels guilty as hell over what happened. They run into Spinner and Jay thought that it was him who was blasted by Rick. Spinner in shock tells them that it was Jimmy. In his guilt and fear he says that he has to tell them what they did, but Jay being a scumbag tells him no because they’d all get into real deep shit. Spinner says that he’s his best friend. Jay having no tact says, ” Either outcome, I would say he was your best friend.” Ouch! But it’s true.

Craig comes out and tells Joey and Caitlin that it was Jimmy who was shot. Just then a pushy reporter comes along asking Craig if he knew the victim. He get’s offended by her wording and says that he has a name. Caitlin get’s all pissed off and pushes her away. Again sounding full of herself she says to her, “Here’s your headline, local insensitive reporter, pummeled by famous colleague.” Please she’s just famous around town and that’s the extent of it.

The same reporter starts to ask Toby about what happened and asks if he tried to stop him. Toby has another spaz attack and asks full of tears what he was supposed to do. If she knew the story she would have said that he could have acted like a man instead of cowering behind his human shield Emma. But lets face it, Toby is useless in any situation and wouldn’t have been much help anyways. It’s here where it’s revealed by the reporter that Rick died, Toby all meekly says, “He died?” The report later on that day probably identified Toby as Degrassi’s top dweeb who knew the gunman. It should have been you who died Toby, it should have been you.

At the hospital Paige is comforting Hazel as Jimmy is in the ICU. Spinner comes by but Paige shakes her head at him pretty much saying no. Spinner just leaves crying because he knows what he did.

Seems like everyone is at Spike’s house watching the news. Spike starts to go on about how no one is supposed to be shot at Degrassi. Emma get’s annoyed with her and says that she talks about the school like it’s some sort of sacred place. I’m seriously surprised that Snake isn’t all traumatized again because when Claude killed himself in Degrassi High, it was him who found his headless, festering corpse and it fucked him up royally. He goes on to say that no one there took Rick’s bullying seriously. Ashley starts to go off on Rick, totally assassinating his character and for about the third time Toby acts like a giant pussy and leaves crying. Ashley goes on to say that she wants answers and wants to know what Rick was if he wasn’t a monster. Emma simply says that he was Toby’s friend. I love how she conveniently doesn’t mention that he was her friend too.

We then get a montage of various mourners of this episode’s events. People at the school are already starting a shrine dedicated to Jimmy. I bet you anything that half the people there crying over him didn’t even know his ass. That happens all the time unfortunately. I seriously laughed at the picture they used of Jimmy that says, Why?? At the hospital Paige is telling someone that there hasn’t been a change with Jimmy while Hazel is crying her eyes out watching over him. Spinner meanwhile is also crying because he’s a life ruining asshole and the guilt is eating away at him. The episode ends with Toby and Emma crying over what happened.

So got damn! This was a pretty good episode. I would say that it’s the best in the series so far. Pretty authentic except for the whole Hazel being told about Jimmy part. The only minus of course is the whole Joey subplot, but they wrapped up that unimportant bullshit fast. I have to say, I think at this point we all know that Jimmy ends up being paralyzed from being shot. But as I was watching this it was clear that he was hit more to the side of his back. Now either the bullet ricocheted off his ribs or he has that spinal disease where he has a curved one. Either way, I call bullshit, but ok, he’s now paralyzed for life because of it. All that being said, I think Degrassi was trying to spread the message that people can do awful things but they can still turn their lives around and actually change. But this episode threw that shit right out the window with Rick shooting Jimmy and attempting to Murder Emma as well. Sorry if this one was a bit wordy guys, I guess I had a lot of thoughts on it.

 

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Season 4, Episode 7, “Times Stands Still Part 1”

It’s here everyone it’s here. The what’s going down two part episode of Degrassi. Joey is having more mortgage problems and he’s about to lose his house, but seriously, who gives two fucks about that. This is the two part episode where Rick goes right over the edge of the cliff and changes things at Degrassi forever. Well at least until Drake leaves the show.

Pre-Credit Opener: Rick is as happy as can be until Jimmy and Spinner pull up to fuck with him some more. Good God almighty! Spinner has gotten a new haircut and he now looks like a gay douchebag. Jimmy takes his stupid beret off and throws it into the dumpster. They say they’ll help him to look for it, but they just throw his ass in there instead. Rick meanwhile is breathing real hard because he’s angry as hell and it’s only going to get worse from here.

I’m guessing it’s either later on in the day or the next, but Rick spots Spinner’s car and decides to spray paint a giant X on it in retaliation for being picked on. In the hallway he runs into Jimmy and some harsh words are said. Right as Jimmy is about to hit him Snake comes along and asks him some sports questions, probably because he’s black and just assumes that he knows all about sports. His assumption is correct and he tells Rick that Jimmy is his newest team member for the quiz show because Heather St Claire had to pull out due to having a herpes outbreak. Let’s just say Rick isn’t happy to have one of his tormentors on his team.

We cut to Joey and his realtor who looks like Lulu Hogg from The Dukes of Hazard is telling him that he has to clean up his pigsty of a place because he’ll be having an open house. Craig comes down the stairs scratching his balls and Joey asks him what he’s doing there still. He says that he feels sick so there he is. Joey leaves him and the realtor because he has to go back to his failing dealership.

In the hallway Emma comes up to Rick and Toby and says that she made some flashcards for the quiz show. Rick says that he’s quitting because Jimmy is now on the team. Toby being the typical weasel tells him to go cry to Snake about it and he might change his mind. Emma goes on to say that Jimmy and the rest hate his guts because they don’t know him and that he came back to Degrassi because he wants to prove that he’s changed. She goes on to say that he should work with Jimmy on the team and in time he’ll get to know him. To prove his point, it says on his locker to go home and no one wants him there. Emma being a big shot rips the sign up and you can tell that Rick is starting to fall in love with her because that’s what guys like him do. They become infatuated at the first sign of kindness. Kind of like a dog if you will.

The next scene has Rick going to Raditch to complain about Jimmy being on the team and the fact that he picks on him alot. Raditch though doesn’t want to hear it and pretty much blows him off, telling him that he also has to work to make people like him. So yeah, this conversation is going to come back to bite Raditch right in the ass.

Out in the parking lot it seems that both Jay and Spinner got X’s on their cars. Alex correctly assumes that it was Rick who did it. Sean says that they should get it off right away before there’s permanent damage. Spinner acting like a bitch says that he’s going to tell Raditch. Sean mocks him of course because he wants to go and snitch on Rick. He goes on to point out that he’s going to want to know why Rick tagged him to begin with. Jay agrees with Sean and says that they need to keep Raditch out of it. Spinner vows that Rick is going to pay for what he did. Again, the machismo is strong in Spinner.

In the hallway they spot Toby having a drink at the fountain and that’s when Jay smashes his face against it. They want to know where Rick is but Toby surprisingly isn’t telling. In the gym Jimmy asks Toby who did it. Rick sounding bitter as hell asks Jimmy if wished that he had done it instead of Jay and Spinner. Jimmy tells him to back his shit off already. Rick tells him that he’s been suffering for weeks, and that Toby doesn’t deserve that, no one does. But I beg to differ on Toby. Anyways, that’s when you can tell that Jimmy feels bad about picking on the guy.

We switch to Joey where he starts to bitch Craig out about watching TV, but he’s shocked to see that Sidney is there. She tells him that Craig called her at work and let her know just what a giant loser Joey is. She’s probably thinking that she dodged a bullet there. She tells him that he should have told her about what was happening with the house. You can tell that his pride is wounded even though he shouldn’t have any. She get’s all sad and says that she made a mistake coming there and leaves.

In the gym the quiz show team is practicing and Rick is a genius at having useless knowledge. Sad to say, I’m the same exact way. To prove why Jimmy’s there Snake asks a sports question that Jimmy, the only brother there could answer. It’s obvious that Jimmy is starting to bond a little with Rick. Especially when Spinner comes along picking on him some more. Jimmy get’s annoyed and tells him to grow up. Alex all full of attitude says, “Oh look, Ricky found a friend.” Jimmy tells her, “Back off  you trailer park skank, it’s getting boring.” Rick fucks things up by being overconfident and does an X with his arms to Jay and Spinner. Both of them get pissed because he pretty much told them it was him who did it.

At his home Rick is being fitted in an ill fitting suit. Turns out it’s his dad’s, so no wonder. Here we get a glimpse at Rick’s instability. Toby comes by and Rick’s mom mentions to him how Rick’s new friends Jimmy and Emma have become pretty much inseparable from him and they’re the popular kids at school. Toby is shocked to hear that he told that to his mom because Toby knows that the both of them will never be part of the cool group.

Back at Joey’s, it seems like he still hasn’t cleaned the place up yet while Craig is still sick with what looks is the flu. Joey starts to bitch him out about calling Sidney over and asks how badly did he make him sound like the loser that he is. He then mentions that he has to close the dealership because he has to be there to sell the house. Hearing that he’s going to be there all day, Craig would rather be at school spreading his illness around because Joey’s become unbearable lately. Craig tells him that he should still get Sidney to help him because she actually knows what she’s doing and she’d get a good price for the home.

Outside the school Rick says thank you to Emma for actually talking to him and being decent. You can tell that he’s now infatuated with her because he says that when she talks, he listens and she’s his guide. Emma meanwhile doesn’t seem to notice and says that she’s glad that things worked out for him and that he actually made friends.

Inside Rick asks Jimmy if he’s nervous about the quiz show and Jimmy tries to play it cool, but admits that he is. Rick being confidant tells him not to worry about it because they’re going to kick the other school’s ass. Paige comes along and makes fun of his suit, but Rick is so giddy about his delusions of grandeur, he doesn’t give a shit what Paige has to say.

Seems like the show is being broadcast on public access and the game is called Wack Your Brain. Right off the bat Rick answers a question correct and they’re on the board. Funny how everyone in the school is watching the show. You would have thought that it would have been after school, but Degrassi always does things differently. Jimmy get’s to shine with answering a sports question, even though it was about tennis and he should be ashamed of himself for even knowing the right answer. As the game is progressing Degrassi is losing 170 to 180. The host then announces that in case there’s a tie each team will select one player to play the sudden death round. Of course the game is tied and they choose Rick to be their player. Being a fucking creep, he squeezes Emma’s hand and won’t let go of it. Emma seems mighty uncomfortable.

It’s break time and in the restroom Jimmy asks Rick how he has all sorts of useless knowledge. Rick just says that he reads a lot because he has a lot of free time on his hands due to having a lack of friends. Just then Jay and Spinner come along and they say what a good player Rick is. Jimmy leaves saying that they have the game in the bag thanks to him. Just as Rick is leaving Jay and Spinner block his path making him nervous. But Jay says that they’re cool and let him go by. As he heads out they both start talking about a plan to get him back and it involves Alex.

Back at Joey’s, it seems like he talked Sidney into coming back. She asks him if there’s anything that he can say to make her stay. Not having anymore dignity, Joey simply says that he needs help, badly.  She tells him that she can stay there all day telling him how much she hates him, but his family is in trouble and she’s willing to let everything pass. Joey then apologizes over how they finished, but she just ignores him. So what was the point of that?! She starts to talk about having an open house and to maybe have some music playing for atmosphere. She tells him not to play his hit single Everybody Want’s Something, because they actually want to make a sale. I was just thinking, if they’re losing their house, does this mean that they’re going to live in the trailer Joey has at his car lot? But shit, he’s about to lose his business too.

The Quiz show is back on and we see Alex barely sitting down in her seat. It’s obvious she was up to no good. The geek from Northern has scored 40 points. Before going up Rick whispers into Emma’s ear, “This is all for you.” Man Emma is becoming disturbed with his behavior by the minute. Rick of course wins the whole thing by ten points and is basking in the glory of being the hero of the show. But it’s short lived, just as he’s celebrating a bucket of yellow looking paint falls all over him. The insult to injury is that feathers follow. He’s beyond humiliated because everyone there is laughing their fucking asses off at him. Probably in the whole city too. They’re lucky that he doesn’t have any mental powers or else he would have killed everyone there in his rage like in Carrie.

Out in the hallway Emma tries to play do gooder by saying that the people who did it are totally juvenile. In his grief Rick says that they’re life ruiner’s and everyone was laughing at him. Emma being stupid is still trying to cheer him up by saying that no one is ever going to forget that it was him who won the game and that he’s the smartest guy in the whole city. Rick takes it that that means that Emma is in love with him and he tries to force a kiss on her. Emma now freaked out pulls away and yells at him to stop. Rick now completely out of his mind says that he thought that she loved him. Emma makes things about ten times worse by saying that she only felt sorry for him and besides, she has a body now and she can have whoever she wants.

Oh lord we go back to Joey’s and he’s busy cleaning up his house when there’s someone ringing the door bell. Turns out that it’s Caitlin and she’s finally back from her ten month Aids tour around the world. She then wants to know why Sidney’s name is on his lawn because Caitlin is crazy and insecure.

In the next scene we see Rick coming home and he’s calling out to see if his parents are home. You can tell that he’s relieved that they aren’t because that would have just been another humiliation having to explain what happened. In his despair he goes into his dad’s study and takes out a case that has his dad’s 45 in there. The episode ends with Rick just staring at the gun.

So yeah, this was a pretty good episode. Rick is obviously some one who is deeply troubled and probably needs to see a therapist. Especially since it’s clear that he makes up relationships in his head. But it’s too late for that. Things are definitely coming to a head in the next episode. As for the Joey sub plot, who cares. Not even Caitlin coming back was enough to save that stinker. That was probably the only thing wrong with this episode. But stayed tuned for the conclusion in a few days.


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Season 4, Episode 6, “Islands In The Stream”

Toby and Rick have a contest to see which one is the more unfuckable person at Degrassi while Spinner and Paige have more relationship problems because of who else, Manny.

Pre-Credit Opener: We come upon Paige working at the Dot and she’s doing a horrible job of being a waitress. During her break, Paige is complaining about how hard the job is and the fact that she only made about 67 cents in tips. That’s when the manager comes along and all full of anger pretty much just fires her on the spot with no explanation at all.

At his locker, you can tell that Manny has now set her skanky eyes on Spinner by flirting with him about sun burns. Turns out she burnt her cooch while he burned his arms and back. Craig comes by and gets pissed off when he sees the picture of Spinner and Manny flirting at the car wash. How is he now just seeing this? You’d think that he would have noticed it in his little dark room. But anyways, he comes along and cock blocks Spinner by interrupting. After Manny leaves he tells him that he’s warning him about Manny. Spinner tells him to go away and to mind his own business. I have to point out that Spinner looks like a surfer dude with that mane he’s been sporting lately.

In the MI lab, Snake wants everyone to partner up for a quiz show. Toby tries to get with Emma but not wanting to be with Degrassi’s high geek, she tells him that she’s already with some girl named Heather. Rick and Toby start to go over Rick’s creepy hottest chicks of Degrassi list. Emma is his number three choice, while Mrs Hatzilakos is his number one for obvious reasons. Snake comes long and then makes them partners for the quiz show.

In the cafeteria some girl causes Paige to crash into Ashley and Hazel making Spinner laugh his ass off. He then starts acting like a bigger dick head by just grabbing her fries and treating her like shit. Stupid Paige lets him get away with it because she did wreak his car. But it was a piece of shit anyways.

At the mall Paige is having an interview at the movie theater. The manager asks her how she is at being a team player. She says that she’s all about that, but her heart drops when she see’s that Alex works there with her 70’s movie theater uniform on.

The next day Toby tries to compliment Emma, but please, she just blows him off because she has a pair of tits on her and she knows that she’s better than him now. Rick comes along laughing at his humiliation. Seems like these two are bonding over their love for hot chicks that they’ll never have and for having lack of friends. I love how when Toby mentions Hazel, Rick says that she has a couple of fine attributes. You know, because she’s busty as hell. Oh lord, they set up a geek contest and the prize is a set of role playing dice. That’s how you know that these two are at the bottom of the barrel there. The contest is whoever get’s the most kisses from their lists wins.

The next scene Paige is telling Spinner that she doesn’t want to ask Alex for help getting a job at the theater because they both hate each other. She bites the bullet and says that she knows that they’ve had their issues. Alex tells her that it’s ok and she’s put a bad word in for her. Hey, I say she deserves it for being such a shithead to everyone she doesn’t like.

In the science lab Toby comes panting up to Emma and pretty much just tells her about their contest. She just rolls her eyes and gives him a peck on the cheek. But shit, I would say that that shouldn’t count because it’s not really a kiss. Right away Toby starts to make fun of Rick and calls him a loser. But please, Toby is a losers loser. Emma then gives Rick a peck too because she feels sorry for him. Right away Rick laughs like a maniac and says that they need a new game the next day to break the tie.

In the hallway Paige is complaining how she can’t find a job to help pay for Spinner’s car. Hazel says that she’s better than that and him. Paige doesn’t know what she’s talking about. That’s when Hazel says that she misses the old Paige who wouldn’t take any of that bullshit from Spinner. Paige is still willing to give him a free pass until Hazel shows her the picture of Manny and Spinner dry humping at the car wash.

Now full of piss and vinegar she pays Spinner a visit at the Dot. He can’t help being a jerk and mentions when people usually get fired from a place, they don’t come back. She shows him the picture and he just tries to play it off that it was just a hug. Now going into a rage, she grabs him and says that that is a hug. Spinner is all full of pain because of his sun burn. She tells him that all he has to do is tell her that it was nothing and it’ll be fine. She’s shocked to see that he doesn’t say anything.

Out in the hallway Jay is still slamming Rick against the lockers because why not. Toby helps him up and they get back to their stupid little game. Rick tells him that the new rules are that whoever get’s the most kisses in a day wins and get’s the dice. Toby slams his elbow against the lockers in front of Manny. She asks him what’s wrong and he says that he hurt his elbow. Being a little hoe she gives him a kiss where it hurts. If Toby was smart he should have pointed this his penis. Manny wouldn’t have a problem kissing that too. OH!!!

At cheer practice Paige is giving Manny all sorts of shit because she hates her now. Funny how there’s not an adult there as their coach, its always been Paige running that squad. Spinner comes along with some flowers and admits that he had some guilty thoughts about Manny. That means that he jacked off to her already. Anyways, he gives her the flowers and Paige being dumb takes him back. She get’s a phone call and she got the job at the theater.

Continuing their stupid game, Toby hides the dummy for giving mouth to mouth in his locker while Rick is clearly struggling to get a kiss. Too bad he’s mellow now or else he would just push them down so they can crack their heads open and then he would be able to get a kiss. But seriously, what was Rick thinking? He should know that everyone at the school hates his guts. He’s so pathetic that he’s even offering five bucks, but he’s going nowhere fast. Toby meanwhile is getting mouth to mouth from someone who looks like Lizzie McGuire and then sets up a kissing booth to help sick kittens. Rick get’s pissed but still tries to get a kiss, too bad every female is just ignoring him. Toby feels bad for him because he’s a much bigger loser than he is, even though he should be rejoicing at the fact.

We then come upon Darcy and it seems like Toby told her about the contest and that Rick is losing big time because he’s a huge angry nerd who no one likes. She mentions that she’s noticed that everyone keeps pushing him into lockers and wants to know why he’s hated. Toby just ignores her and pays her five dollars. Darcy then comes along and turns on her charm by asking Rick about his glasses. He gets all happy when she says that she likes them. That’s when he mentions the contest and right way she offers to help. She kisses him, but she did it in front of Jay. Uh oh.

At Paige’s locker Hazel is continuing to give her opinion about Spinner treating her like shit. Not wanting to hear it, she tells her to back off or else she’s going to start doing the same thing about her relationship with Jimmy. I don’t know why she said that for, Jimmy seems to be treating her right.

Of course Paige is terrible at her new job as well. She’s lucky that Alex is being decent by giving her a break and actually helping her out by giving her pointers on what she’s doing wrong. Spinner and the boys come along and he can’t help acting like a complete dick with her in front of everyone. You can tell that both Craig and Alex got annoyed with him. And to prove the point Alex says she used to be afraid of her. But since she’s a coward and a suck, not anymore. She goes on to say that if any boyfriend of hers talked to her like he did to Paige, he would have been dumped already.

Seems like the movie is over and it’s obvious that there’s tension between Craig and Spinner about Manny. Still acting like a shithead he heads on over to the counter to fuck with Paige some more. She asks him for a ride home after work, but he says that he doesn’t want to because she doesn’t get off for another two hours. Craig makes fun of him for pretty much being a shitty boyfriend. Spin says something lame and Craig says, “Nice comeback genius.” Spinner then slaps Craig twice and walks away. Craig like his dad goes into a rage and hulks out. He shoves Spinner saying that he was always jealous of Manny and him. Spinner fucks things up by saying that he’s now jealous of Manny and himself. Paige hears that and you can tell get’s her heart broken. The guys meanwhile have started to fight, and Paige is trying to break it up saying that she works there. The manager comes out and says that she called security and they book it. Poor Paige then get’s fired even though she had nothing to do with it.

Back at Degrassi Toby has won the contest and the dice. Rick doesn’t care because someone really hot, meaning Darcy kissed him and he’s on cloud nine. Until Jay comes along and Rick leaves before he get’s his ass kicked again. Jay tells Toby that word around the school is that some hot new chick is being stalked by a psycho named Rick. Man, Rick was fast to act like a stalker motherfucker. But it’s in his blood, he can’t help it. To punish Toby for getting Darcy to kiss him, Jay throws him in a locker. Shit, I like Jay in this episode for that act alone!

In the cafeteria Alex comes by and tells Paige that she talked the manager into giving her a second chance. Spinner then lamely says that he’s sorry for getting her fired. She tells him not to worry about it because she still has a job. She then throws in his face what he said about Manny. He tries to play the victim again, but she’s had it with his shit. Especially because he wasn’t fighting over her, he was fighting over that whore Manny. She then says that they’ll figure out a payment system to pay him back, but they’re done. What a surprise, Manny ruined yet another relationship there at Degrassi. Her sexual powers are just too great for the guys there.

So this was another good one I think. Guys, Spinner just showed all of us how not to treat a girlfriend. If you treat her like shit, eventually they’re going to dump your ass. Unless they like being treated like garbage, which is sad, but there’s a lot of people out there like that, girls and guys actually. The Rick, Toby subplot was pretty good too because it shows that he’s still getting bullied and it’s actually getting worse too. Next week I’ll try to have the school shooting two parter up because it’s a good one!


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Season 4, Episode 5, “Anywhere I Lay My Head”

Ellie’s drunken wreak of a mother makes a return while Manny throws a school car wash.

Pre-Credit Opener: We see Sean and Ellie waking up from a pretty intense study session. Ellie is instantly flipping out because she was supposed to have been home at 11. Sean checks his phone and big surprise, no one called because her mom was too busy getting hammered to give a fuck where her daughter was. Sean mentions the fact that she’s a lousy drunk and Ellie get’s pissed and says she doesn’t want to talk about it. That’s when Sean get’s the brilliant idea of having her move in with her. I don’t know why, she’s a big time downer.

In the next scene Ashley is stressing about the fact that her dad is bringing his boyfriend for parents night. Ellie being completely self centered ignores what Ashley has to say and brings up the fact that Sean asked her to move in. Ashley being negative says that she can’t. But it seems like Ellie is desperate to move out because her mom is a raging alcoholic.

Manny meanwhile is trying to talk to Spinner who completely ignores her, but that’s when she comes with the idea of having the Downtown Sasquatch play some jams while they wash cars in their bikini’s to raise some money for their new uniforms. Spinner tells her that it’s not just his band, they’ll need to ask Craig. Manny says that it’ll be awkward as hell seeing how he knocked her up and then she aborted their love child. After some pathetic begging, Spinner says that he’ll see what he can do.

In the library Sean is already pissed at Ellie because she keeps making excuses for not moving in with him. Ellie has this stupid idea of just having dinners with him and her going home. But that’s when he tells her that he loves her and for her to just move in for fucks sake! But oh, she breaks his heart by telling him no and that her mom needs her.

It seems like it’s already time for parents night and Ellie is flicking her rubber band on her wrist like crazy due to anxiety. Shit who can blame her, right away you can tell that her mom is drunk as shit and she’s already embarrassing her in front of everyone. Snake is so frazzled by it his face goes all crooked.

Elsewhere Ashley introduces Ellie’s mom to her dad and his lover, partner, whatever he is,  Ellie’s mom can’t help being an ass and asks them if they’re a pair’s figure skating team. Ashley’s dad full of quiet dignity and grace says that they’re life partners. Not having any tact, she goes on about how her husband is away in Afghanistan fighting the global war on terrorism and that it would be nice to have an actual man around the house. She continues to humiliate Ellie some more by saying that the gays would only be good for redecorating Bin Laden’s cave. Ellie spots Sean, but so does her mom. She goes on to make him feel bad by asking why his parents aren’t around. He explains that he lives alone. She picks that as the perfect time to give him shit about Ellie always being there and then drags her away.

Oh lord, it seems like Ashley has now joined Craig’s band and it seems like they’re now playing Reggae. Which is only one of the worst kinds of music out there right next to Country. Spinner tells the guys that they need to play another gig because practice is getting boring as hell. That’s when he brings up the car wash and they have a vote because Marco is being a little bitch about playing in front of people. Craig, Ashley and Spinner vote yea, while Jimmy and Marco say nay. Craig and Ashley get annoyed though when Spinner says that Manny will be stoked about them playing.

Uh oh. We see Ellie being woken up by a fire detector and holy shit! Her kitchen is a hideous raging inferno because her mom got drunk and fell asleep while she was cooking something on the stove. Stupid Ellie makes shit about ten times worse by throwing it against the curtains, spreading the fire around the room. She drags her mom’s limp carcass out of there before they both became Freddy Krueger.

At the hospital, her mom has the fucking nerve to be giving Ellie shit about pretty much burning their house to the ground. Saying that she doesn’t want to hear anything about it because she feels bad enough already. But I think it’s the hangover that she’s talking about. Ellie trying to pull a fast one asks her mom if she can stay at Ashley’s instead of some relative who I guess lives far away. Really, we all know she’s going to stay at Sean’s instead. Her mom not wanting to drive her to school says yes. Surprise, surprise, she goes to Sean’s.

At Sean’s house Sean is helping her bring all her smoke covered clothes into his apartment. Sean mentions that his CD collection just doubled, but I doubt he’d want to listen to KD Lang and Sarah McLachlan. But shit, is he wrong, it’s actually Ellie’s well organized cutting kit. In it she has so many ways to cut herself, it’s insane. Trying to distract him, she mentions that they should get a pet. Sean ignoring her says that he thought that she stopped cutting herself. She says that she isn’t, but she just had to save it because it brings bitter memories to her and she thrives on dwelling in the abyss. Anyways, Sean says that he’ll sleep on the couch while she get’s the bed.

It’s finally time for the car wash where we’re introduced to a new character named Darcy. Spinner welcomes her by wetting her down in her bikini. Manny comes along and thanks Craig for taking pictures and playing the car wash. Ashley meanwhile get’s jealous because Craig can’t stop looking at her tits. Spinner comes along and plays around with Manny, getting Craig a bit jealous too. God these people.

Sitting on the steps Marco asks her how her mom is and Ellie seems to be glad to be away from her for a while. Which is telling.  Marco then get’s weird and pretty much asks her if they did the nasty at his place, where Ellie says no like she’s all disgusted.

The car wash continues with a couple of dirty old men looking at all the hot teenage flesh on display while Craig and his band play some truly shitty reggae. They’re pretty bad too, so bad that I was wishing that someone would throw water on them by accident so that they would get electrocuted like in Carrie. Rick of all people comes by in his mom’s Family Truckster and says that he’s there to support a good cause. They all get instantly pissed off and Jimmy tells him to leave before he shoots him full of water. Rick seeing that it was a horrible idea leaves, but not before Jimmy wets his car. So hey, I say Rick wins in this one, he got a free car wash. Meanwhile it’s obvious that Manny and Spinner are flirting with each other and Craig doesn’t like it one bit.

Later on at Sean’s, the Degrassi kids are having a party. Too bad the Montreal Crew isn’t there, because they’re just so hardcore. Anyways Jay and Alex are being real fucking assholes and Jay mentions that it’s really a bon voyage, thanks for all the sex party. But we all know that Ellie is kind of a prude and no sex was had. Bummed out Ellie mentions to Sean that she doesn’t want to go back to her mom, Sean being the loyal boyfriend says that she doesn’t have to. And that’s where her mom comes into the room and fucks everything up.

She begins by once again embarrassing Ellie into smithereens. Ellie being a typical child of such a shitty environment just shakes her head yes and is full of tears when her mom asks her that she’s been staying at Sean’s instead of Ashley’s. She starts to drag her ass out, but Sean stops her and says that it’s better if Ellie stays there with him. Not skipping a beat, she slaps the shit out of him and that’s pretty much the end of that party.

Back at the burnt out hulk that was their home, her mom tries to be all optimistic about the fact that she almost burned the whole house to the ground and almost killed the both of them. Ellie upset just mentions that she pimped slapped Sean and that’s where she starts to do her thing with the rubber band again. Her mom tells her to cut that shit out because she looks like a weirdo doing that. Ellie then dumps out her cutting kit and asks her to pick a device because harming herself is the only way she can cope with her and her drunkenness. Her mom starts to cry because she shows her arm that looks like Edward Scissorhands cut her up. Ellie tells her that she’s been cutting herself and if she stays with her, she’ll start up again. By the way, I think her mom burned her eye brows off in the fire.

At the Dot Spinner and Manny are having a hell of an awkward exchange. Especially when she mentions that she’s waiting there for Paige. So yeah, all this is doing is setting up a relationship between the two of them.

Moving on, Sean is getting his lift on and that’s where Ellie barges in and says that her mom just dropped her off and that she’s going to stay with him because she’s finally going to rehab. The episode ends with Ellie telling Sean that they have a new pet and it’s a ferret. I only have one question, why does Ellie look incredibly sweaty? Plus that ferret seems like it’s breaking the fourth wall begging to be rescued by this maniac.

So this was another good episode. We were introduced to a new character Darcy, Ellie’s mom almost burned the whole fucking house down and Spinner and Manny seem to have a thing for each other. This episode, it went there!


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Season 4, Episode 1, “Ghost In The Machine, Part 1”

Finally we’ve made it to season 4 of Degrassi. But right off the bat we begin a two episode arc that I really hated when I first saw it.

Pre-Credit Opener: Paige, Spinner and Craig are at Joey’s used car lot where Spinner has just purchased a real piece of shit. Since this is a new season and year everyone is looking different. Spinner now has longer stoner hair while Craig is desperately trying to make himself look like he came from the 70’s. After they ride like the wind across Toronto, Spinner parks the car at Paige’s house to remark what a great day he’s having. But oh uh, the Mounties come along and Spinner is already shitting bricks. But it turns out that they’re looking for Paige. The cop gives her a notice to appear in court because of Dean raping her. Man justice works really slow in Canada. To show how scared she is to go, Paige is flaring her nostrils like crazy. We get the same opening credits, but this time it’s another singer and it sounds more like a dance song now.

In the next scene, they’re at the drive in watching a really low budget zombie movie. Paige is so scared she drops pop corn all over Spinner’s car. Oh lord, instead of hugging Spinner, Marco is in the drivers seat and Spinner is in the back because they reason they wouldn’t be able to see behind him. Needless to say, Spinner is beyond annoyed that Marco is there cock blocking him.

We the cut away to Dylan’s moving day at Toronto university I’m assuming and Marco of course can’t help lift Dylan’s massive pleasure chest of wonders because he’s basically a girl. Spinner meanwhile is being a real sour shoes and after Paige asks him what’s wrong he goes off on the fact that they’re never alone. She promises that things will change once the trial is over with.

And yup, what a surprise. Dean is also going there, pledging at a frat. I love how he’s acting like a big shot with his ugly yellow corvette. Being the ultimate asshole that he is, he spots Paige and actually brings up the court case and tries to make her feel guilty about him raping her. Shit, he’s even trying to get her to not testify against her. Fucking scumbag.

Well enough with that shit. It’s finally the first day of school and Emma, Liberty and Toby are all saying that they ended their relationships that Summer. Toby is no big surprise though. Kendra must have seen him for what he really is, which is Degrassi’s resident loser.

Inside, Manny and JT are making fun of the Freshmen coming in. Do they call 9th and 10th grader’s Freshmen and Sophomore’s in Canada? I really want to know. Anyways, this kid who looks like 50’s crooner Johnny Mathis actually tries to pick up on Manny. I guess he saw that JT really isn’t a man, so he’d give it a shot.

At Craig’s locker, he’s surprised to see that someone has actually decorated it with a bunch of musical themed birthday decorations. He bumps into Ashley and he just assumes that it was her who did it. Marco comes along dressed in a suit that’s way too big on him and it turns out that it was Marco. Gee, why am I not surprised.

Else where Spinner is having a dilemma if he should put Mandy Moore or Hilary Duff inside his locker. He goes with Lizzie Maguire because he says she looks like Paige. No she doesn’t. As we all know, Paige looks like Miss Piggy. Paige comes along and says that she’d rather looks like Lindsay Lohan. Jimmy points out that he thought she had court that day, but she says it was the next day. Spinner asks her what’s that supposed to mean, and Paige being stupid says that she’s not going to the trial. Spinner get’s pissed at her and says that he can’t take all that bullshit anymore.

After school Spinner mentions the fact that she said that everything would be ok after the trial. In Spinner’s point of view, now that she’s not going to the trial, her acting weird when she’s alone with him will never end. Long story short, he wants to have sex and he now knows that it’ll never happen. She explains that it happened three years ago and that she’s moved on. Spinner for some incredible reason believes her.

Haha. At Joey’s, Joey and the family are watching a video from Caitlin where apparently she’s in some jungle or island country. But it’s pretty obvious that it’s just some palm trees in front of a green screen. Craig not caring about Caitlin’s birthday wishes want’s his big birthday gift and it’s an envelope. At first he’s all, “What the fuck!?”, but he see’s that it’s actually ten grand from his dead dad. Turns out when Craig turns 18 he’ll get his full inheritance.

At some random swamp, Spinner and Paige are engaged in some heavy petting. But it’s too much for Paige because she’s having some serious flashbacks about Dean raping her. Obviously she’s not over it because she keeps saying that she said no. Finally getting the guts, she tells him that she’s going to court and Spinner being the loyal boyfriend is going with her.

The next day Ashley comes along and tries to talk to Craig about her being weird the other day. She goes on to say that she would love to be friends with him again. So burying all that ill will, they start to talk about Craig’s dad leaving him all that money. Ashley is blown away hearing that and you can tell she wants him to buy her something. Craig goes on to say that Joey gave him a lecture about investing the money for his future. Craig being stupid and bitter says that he’s just going to rip up the check. Yeah right, what teenager would ever do something like that? Ashley actually being sane tells him that he can have a lot of fun with that money. You can tell that it never occurred to Craig to go on a shopping spree.

It’s finally time for Degrassi’s trial of the century and Paige get’s instantly nervous when she see’s Dean arrive in his Corvette. Spinner says that he hates Dean, that’s when Paige tells him to go home because he’s going to be hearing all the awful details of her rape. But Spin is going to stay by his woman.

Inside Paige is being grilled by Dean’s lawyer. Basically she’s implying that Paige wanted to have sex with Dean because she was dressed like a slut and was flirting with him that whole night. Even getting felt up by him and that she liked it. The lawyer then asks how it was possible that Dean opened a condom wrapper and got it around his dick with one hand. Paige should have just said that it was his superior raping skills that made it all possible. Paige keeps saying that she said no and that he over powered her by his creepiness. The lawyer then fucks up by asking her how many men she had sex with. Paige now full of piss and vinegar says that the incident was her only experience with sex and if she had the choice she wouldn’t have lost her virginity to someone old like Dean. I mean, look at him, he looks 30.

We switch scene’s and Craig is at a guitar shop buying a bunch of CD’s and that’s when Ashley finds a guitar from the 60’s. The guy at the shop is cringing at Ashley holding it because apparently it’s worth a lot and tells her to put it back down. Craig acting like Wayne from Wayne’s World smugly says that he’s going to buy it.

Back at court, the judge who looks like that old skeevosa Dr Sally arrives to give her verdict. She starts by saying how brave it was for Paige to be there at court and that these are the type of cases that keep her up at night. Having said that, she goes on to say that because there were no eye witnesses or physical evidence, Dean is going to get off Scott free. See? What did I tell you a couple of seasons ago? All of Paige’s inaction would come back to bite her in the ass. If she would have gone right away to be examined Dean would be going to prison instead. The insult to injury is that Dean is laughing his ass off at her because he got away with it. If Nancy Grace was there covering this she’d be saying, “Somewhere out there, the devil is dancing.” The episode ends with Paige’s shocked face.

So now that I’m watching this again, this episode wasn’t too bad. Hardly anything to complain about really. Sure people get mad at Dean, I sure know I hate the character, but this sort of shit happens all the time. Leave it to Degrassi to show that there’s injustices in this world. The main one being that Craig came into money. How unfair is that?


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Season 3, Episode 22, “The Power Of Love”

So we finally made it to the season finale peeps. I think it took me over a year to finish season 3. Mostly because I would lose interest in this blog and then I would start up again because I was bored and had nothing better to do.

Pre-Credit Opener: It’s the end of the school year and everyone at Degrassi is cleaning out their lockers so they can get the hell out of there. Jimmy and Hazel come along and Jimmy is going on about going to a basketball camp in LA for the Summer. Hazel points out that he’s spoiled as hell. But he doesn’t want to go because he’ll miss Hazel and those breasts of hers. They run into Paige and Spinner and that’s when Jimmy once again flaunts his wealth by saying that he’s getting a limo for Marco’s Gay Indian dance happening that night and dinner is on him.

Sean walks into Snake’s office and Snake informs him that his grades are in the gutter and that he’s basically going to fail the class. I love how he blames Snake for him failing even though it’s his own fault for being a dumbass. But Snake having mercy tells him that he can pass if he does a project where he’s cataloging gaseous anomalies in the auto shop.

At the Jeremiah household Caitlin comes along knocking on the door like she’s the damn police. They start to have a conversation about her moving into Joey’s dump. I would think it’s a major downgrade for Caitlin because I’m assuming she has a much better place than Joey. You can tell that she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t give him an answer, the pretense being that she’s late for a meeting, but really she just wants to leave Joey’s. But she says they’ll talk later at dinner.

We cut to Jimmy’s and it seems like he’s wearing a female’s Indian clothing. I can’t believe that anyone would go to these length’s to actually dress up for Marco’s dance. I know I wouldn’t. But this is Degrassi and they’re going to shove diversity down our throats whether we want it or not.

They walk outside and a beat up 80’s era prom limo pulls up and holy shit! Look who it is. Billy Ray Cyrus, aka Cyrus! It’s pretty sad that he had to resort to having a small cameo in Degrassi. Jimmy is beyond disappointed, and embarrassed that he got such a piece of shit limo service for him and his friends.

At Caitlin’s TV station. Caitlin is busying customizing his and her’s towels on the computer instead of working. Her gay co-worker comes by and she tells him about Joey asking her to move in with her. He says congratulations, but also says that he wanted to tell her that anyways because the station approved for her to go around the globe covering Aids. Caitlin is ecstatic at first, but then get’s bummed out because of Joey. And Goddamn, she has to leave that night and be gone for about nine months. So after all that waiting, which was a year she said, she tells the guy no because that’s the power of love damn it!

Back at the MI lab Snake is giving Sean a break and he’s passing him with the lowest passing grade ever. Snake then says that he has to go to chaperon Gay Indian dance and Sean says that he’s not going because it’s not his scene. Seriously, it’s not anyone’s scene. Snake then decides to have a heart to heart moment with Sean telling him that he used to come to him with his problems, but that’s it’s ok if he doesn’t want to talk anymore. But he just wants him to know that he’ll always be there for him. Sean not being able to take the guilt any longer admits to him that he stole his computer, but that was because he was angry at the world and getting influenced by Jay. Snake looks like he wants to murder Sean, but let’s face it, Sean could easily kick his ass too. All Sean can lamely say is that he’s sorry for what he did.

So wow, we’re back to the same restaurant that we’ve seen in Marco’s first date and the time that Spinner and Paige skipped out on lunch. I guess Degrassi only has one fancy restaurant in the whole area. Spinner and Paige spot the gay waiter and they are terrified of him. Oh lord. Seriously? Caitlin and Joey just happen to be dining there too. They talk about her decision and she tells Joey yes. But she then mentions her big time assignment and that she’d have to leave that night. Joey can’t understand why Caitlin would turn it down and tells her to accept it because it’s a big opportunity. She says all sad, “I thought you were my big opportunity.” Joey seems to be doing the right thing by supporting her. But Caitlin being insane seems to take it that Joey doesn’t want her.

Finally it’s time for the dance and it’s as bad as you’d think. I love how Marco is subjecting everyone to his bullshit. But it seems like the lame Degrassi kids love it. Snake comes along dressed like a genie and over hears JT complaining about the drinks. So he makes a run to the store to get more ice. Uh oh, Ellie and Sean walk in dressed like they usually do. Sean tries to talk to Snake, but Snake doesn’t want to hear a thing from him.

Back at the fancy restaurant, the gay waiter comes along and leaves the check. It seems like he’s charged them triple because of Spinner and Paige skipping out. Jimmy for once not having enough has to borrow money from Hazel and he’s even more humiliated now. But it get’s even worse. Cyrus is being arrested for being a scumbag and now they have no ride. Or so they think. Cyrus being the big star that he is orders the police to drive them all to the dance and they do just that. Outside the school, Snake is losing it because his piece of junk car won’t start up. That’s when Sean comes along and offers to help him out.

We cut back to Caitlin at her TV station and Joey decides to confront her on why she’s acting like an ass. Near tears she tells Joey that if he really loved her, he wouldn’t want her to go. He tells her that he wants her to go because he does in fact love her. She brings up the past and says that he’s made promises before, promises that he didn’t keep. So the guy porked Tessa and got her pregnant. Move on Caitlin that was over ten years ago. But you can tell Caitlin is one to never forget. Joey then reassures her that he’ll be there waiting for her. I don’t know what she’s worried about. Joey is a bald loser who can barely take care of himself. He isn’t going anywhere.

Back at the school Sean tells Snake that he has a serious problem with his car and that he wants to help. Snake then throws in his face that he stole the laptop that Spike spent her savings on while he was fucking dying from cancer. Sean now near tears just talks shop because he wants to avoid the issue. Trying to make up for it he tells Snake that if he pays for the parts, then he’ll work on the car for free. Snake always wanting to have a suped up car like in the Fast and the Furious agrees.

Marco’s dreams are coming true by having everyone join him in his Bollywood fantasies. As he’s talking about King and Queen, the curtain that he’s been putting into the lights all episode long catch fire. So that’s it for Gay Indian dance because everyone rushes out in a panic to avoid the sprinklers and flames. At least they didn’t have something happen like in Carrie where half the cast died. Toby comes to mind. Rats. Just as everyone is coming out, that’s when Jimmy and his crew pull up to see that the school is on fire.

At the airport Joey and Caitlin say their goodbye’s and Joey says, “I guess this is it.” Caitlin says, “For now.” You can already tell that Joey regrets telling her to leave. It just hit me how absurd this show can be. Sure she can go on assignment to cover something. But for nine months? What the fuck is she going to do, take part in Aid’s research to find a cure? Caitlin can only do so much interviewing people and ruining their lives. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea that she go. Knowing her, she’ll start a revolution in some stinking shit hole of a country because she loves to rile people up.

In the last scene we go back to the school where the dance is now happening outside. Seems like everyone is having an even better time now that they don’t have to deal with Marco’s stupid theme. Jimmy for some reason is super bummed about how the evening has gone for him. Basically he just wanted to be a big shot and impress Hazel. But she knows that he’s loaded and she’s not going anywhere either. The episode ends with Sean and Snake being cordial towards each other.

So that’s it with this season. I would say that it was better than Season 1 and 2. But this still had it’s duds. Like the Breakfast club episode. As for this episode, it was alright. They did seem to wrap up season long story lines fast. You can tell it was rushed, like the whole thing with Sean and Snake. The Caitlin and Joey plot was a little ridiculous and really added nothing to the story. It’s just more Joey and Caitlin bullshit that’s been happening since the 80’s.


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Season 3, Episode 20, “I Want Candy”

And I’m back for another review of Degrassi, and too bad it’s an episode that I don’t really care for.

Pre-Credit Opener: Mrs Hotass is talking about a science test or homework that both Spinner and Paige think it’s too hard to take. Mrs H asks Paige to take the assignment to Ashley since she’s supposedly sick again. But everyone knows that she just has a case of emo supremo. Spinner says that he can’t take that shit and that’s when Paige tells him that they’re going to take the day off. So this is pretty much Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Degrassi style.

The next day it appears that Dylan is letting Paige borrow his car for her day off. She’s giving him the fake note that she forged to give to her teacher or whomever. Dylan makes her promise to bring back the car in one piece and with a full tank. Cheap bastard says that because the tank is practically empty to begin with.

Meanwhile at Spinner’s house, Spinner is going through the typical I have a fever routine for his mom. Kendra tries to be a snitch by telling his mom that he only dipped the anal thermometer into hot water, but he get’s rid of the evidence by drinking the scalding water. Her mom tells her to get her ass to school while she goes to what looks like the Canadian equivalent to Walmart.

Back in the mi lab Snake has finally grown his hair back, which wasn’t much to begin with. JT starts to bother Emma about the semi formal, but she seems to have her mind on something else. JT having no tact just goes on to ask her if Manny would want to go with him. Snake tells him to shut up, but JT still continues to bother her, getting them both in trouble and they now have to defrag the whole mi lab for lunch. At least Snake is still acting like a dick.

Oh Lord, Ashley is in her room singing a really shitty emo song. Her mom walks in annoyed as hell because Ashley sucks and she wants her to stop. But no, the real reason is that Ashley is missing a bunch of school and she’s afraid that she might fail her year. Her mom says something cryptic about something they talked about the other day and that it might just be the best thing for her. Hmm?

Elsewhere Spinner and Paige are trying to figure what to do with their day, but all of their suggestions are really lame. Ashley then calls them up for homework, that’s when Paige decides to bring Ashley along. I love how she just ignore’s Spinner’s protests because Ashley is a big downer that no one want’s to hang out with.

In Ashley’s room Paige is trying to get Ashley to go with them. Paige says that they all get a wish on what they want to do. Paige says that she wants to go to a really nice restaurant for lunch. Spinner for some reason seems to have a big obsession with playing mini golf in this one and that’s what he wants to do. Ashley of course goes the downer route and says that she wants to go visit Terri. I’m guessing that she still hasn’t gone to go visit her. Some friend Ashley is.

It seems like Terri has finally come out of her coma and as you’d expect, the small talk is very awkward. A nurse comes in to change Terri’s dressings and Ashley can’t take the carnage on her head and she leaves the room even more depressed now. How do you think Terri feels you selfish asshole? I have to point out that this was Terri’s final appearance in Degrassi and it sucks that it had to be such a brief one.

Back at Degrassi, Emma is getting major sass from Alex, Jay’s girlfriend. She seems to be shopping for hip hop clothes from a web site and Emma can’t defrag the computer. On Snake’s laptop JT has discovered Snake’s will. Right away you can tell that Emma is assuming the worst. At least he didn’t find some fucked up hardcore porn on the thing.

At the restaurant Spinner is getting tired of Ashley being a huge buzzkill. But then again, he is acting like an immature ass in front of everyone. Oh look who it is, it’s the gay waiter that Marco’s dad made fun of. Spinner tries to get a beer, but the guy isn’t having it and gives them all three ginger ales. Ashley goes on to say that seeing Terri and the gore coming out of her head made her lose her appetite. Paige tells her that getting down about it won’t make it better. Ashley feeling sorry for herself says that the whole year has been a big cluster fuck and that next year she’s going to a different school. I couldn’t help but say, “Finger’s crossed!”

In the next scene, Paige is annoyed with Spinner because he’s elated to hear that Ashley is transferring to another school. She goes on to say that she’s her friend and that she had a really tough year. That’s funny coming from someone who made her life a living hell in the 2nd season. Ashley comes back and she tells them that Mr Raddich is there on a hot lunch date. On that note they just leave the place without paying the bill. Mightily pissing off the gay waiter.

We then get a montage of Spinner playing goofy golf finally and then a shot of him crying at the movies. I get it Spin, you’d have to be a robot not to cry to Steel Magnolia’s. At an art museum Spinner has finally had enough of Ashley and her prudish, self important ways. He tells her that he was trying to get her to have a laugh and leaves super annoyed. Paige having enough tells her that she needs to get over Craig being a cheating bastard and to not take life so goddamn seriously. Then she pretty much tells Ashley that Craig cheated on her not just because he was horny, but because Ashley is a bore who you can’t have any fun with.

Back at Degrassi Emma is getting more and more anxious about Snake and is desperately looking for him. Alex takes that as the wrong time to start some shit with her. Emma not being in the mood starts to man handle her and knee’s her right in the face. She should have followed up on that and kicked her right in the cooch too. But she doesn’t and Alex bitch slaps the shit out of her.

At the local Degrassi mall, Ashley, Spinner and Paige stumble upon an Elvis impersonator contest. Ashley has finally succeeded, Spinner is now completely down from hanging out with her all day long and says that they just mopped around the entire city. Ashley hearing this tells them to have a seat and that she’ll get them a snack while Paige smacks Spinner for being so tactless. But hey, Ashley deserved it.

In the lobby Emma asks Snake how long he knew that the chemo failed, but he tells her that the Dr just told him to be prepared. He goes on to mention that that day he’ll be getting the results from the chemo and he’ll find out if it worked or not. Seems like it was Spike’s idea to keep Emma in the dark. Great idea Spike. Anyways Snake tells her that it’s pretty much life and death.

Back at the contest this Dweeb is singing Amen and Spinner can’t help feeling uncomfortable. Ashley then surprises them by being in the contest under the name of Elvira, Queen of Doom and sings her heart out Elvis style. For once Ashley seems to be happy.

At the Dr’s office Snake is finally getting the results back. After the Dr keeps them in agony with his technical talk, Snake, Spike and Emma are overjoyed to hear that the cancer has gone into remission and that he won’t be departing this dimension anytime soon.

In the next scene Ashley’s mom is pissed off at her because she wasn’t there when she got home. Ashley is all giddy because she finally got her head out of her ass and won third place. Before Paige and Spinner leave to pick up Dylan, they talk about how the day ended on a good note, even though she got a parking ticket. Ashley just throws it away and says that what Dylan doesn’t know won’t hurt him. At least until he get’s a court summons for not paying the ticket.

So yeah, I did not enjoy this episode at all. Ashley was just annoying as hell and I was glad that Paige finally told her that no one wants to hang out with a sour puss. But hey, at least Snake doesn’t have cancer anymore.