Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed

Ah yes, the companion blog to Degrassi Junior High Reviewed. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who loves the next generation's melodrama. New reviews at least once a week. Hopefully. But if I feel like it I might make two to three reviews a week. So it'll depend.


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Season 3, Episode 17, “Don’t Dream It’s Over”

So we return to an Episode that “Goes There”. That’s right this is the big Terri get’s fucked up by her boyfriend episode. I’m not sure, but I believe this is the last episode she’s featured in, or maybe she makes one last appearance as the season concludes. But who cares. Let’s see how Terri get’s taken out of Degrassi. Man, what a DeBummer.

Pre-Credit Opener: We open up with Paige telling the gang that she has her parents mini van for the weekend and you know what that means. Party!! Everyone is super excited except for Terri because she doesn’t have that special someone to go on what’s most likely going to be a lame road trip. Hazel tells her, “You’ll be with all of your friends idiot!” Paige tells her to bring someone and we all know who Terri is thinking of bringing along because she is indeed an idiot.

Oh what a surprise. Yet again Mrs Kwan is teaching something that isn’t remotely related to language class. I would say she’s more of a life skills teacher. I remember when I was in Jr High we had a class called Life Skills class. And it was pretty much stupid shit like this. Rick and Terri become partners for a trust exercise and yeah, it’s pretty predictable. They each fall into each other’s arms and with that, Rick weasel’s his way into Terri’s heart again.

After class Rick tells Terri that he wanted to call her to apologize for beating the hell out of her, but he was too much of a chicken shit to do it. He goes on to say that he misses her and the fact that she hung out with Paige all the time made stalking her hard. Terri just leaves and says she’ll talk to him later.

In Snake’s class Marco is being a little brown noser and tells him that the sub that they had sucked ass and they’re all glad that he’s back. Snake is back to his old self. At least he’s not a dick anymore. Oh lord Marco and Ellie have a night of watching an Indian movie double feature. What a couple of bores I swear. Ashley points out to Ellie that Sean like most normal teenage boys wouldn’t sit through that kind of boring bullshit. Ellie says, “Why would Sean come?” Ashley points out that they are sort of seeing each other, but Ellie is adamant that things haven’t changed between her and Marco just because she’s seeing Sean now. Yeah, we all know this isn’t going to end well.

At Caitlin’s TV station Sean walks into Caitlin and Ellie’s bull session. Sean cuts to the chase and he wants to watch a new movie called Elimination Round 3. Ellie says that she wants to go with him, but she realized that she has a boring evening with Marco planned already. What’s a girl to do?

We cut to The Dot and everyone is disgusted and pissed off at Terri for bringing Rick along to their sacred hangout. Paige all full of fury says that she’s not going to be driving that asshole around all day long. Spinner points out that it’s better that they come along since they’ll be able to keep an eye on them.

Ha! The poster to Elimination Round 3 features a bald black dude and none other than motherfucking Yick Yu! Marco and Ellie come along and right away he’s acting like such a woman. Sean much like I would be in that situation is disappointed that she brought him along.

So it’s finally time for the big road trip and it seems like they just went to the local Degrassi park. Rick sit’s his ass on the hood of the van and tells Terri to come and join him. Paige all annoyed tells him to get the hell off before he and Terri put the mother of all dents on it.

Back at the movie Marco and Ellie are acting like a couple of assholes. You can tell that they think that they’re sophisticated and that an action movie is beneath them. Jay get’s so annoyed at them that he throws popcorn at Marco. Sean then reaches for some popcorn but he touches Marco’s hand instead. He probably wants to boil it because he thinks he has gay now.

The scene cuts back to the park and Paige is fuming and you can tell she’s about to blow. Rick goes to get what I’m assuming is food for Terri. She takes that as an opportunity to talk to her about Rick. Terri being a fool says that he apologized. Paige getting more irritated by the minute shouts out, “Of course, that’s what his kind does!” Rick comes out of nowhere and starts to tell Paige that she has no right to tell Terri who she can be friends with and that she’s a backstabber. I don’t know how she is in that situation. It’s not like she ever fucked Rick over like she did to Manny and Hazel. Anyways, Paige goes on to call him a psycho and Rick loses it and kicks Paige’s mini van and leaves. Terri being on Rick’s side starts to yell at Paige. She pretty much says that she’s sick of her shit and constantly being told what to do. Paige having enough yells at her to go after him if she’s such a bad friend. I gotta say, I’ve been in Paige’s situation before with people like Terri. Especially when they get back together with someone they know is toxic. It’s very annoying and frustrating, but you can’t control people. Even if they are fucking stupid.

Out in some field where a bunch of bricks are just laying around, Rick is going crazy kicking at the air in anger. Terri starts to apologize about Paige but Rick cuts off her shouting, “She does not matter!” Terri says, “Calm down day time Emmy.” He does and goes on to say that he’s happy that they’re together again. After they kiss, Terri starts to pull him along and says to just ignore Paige. He tugs her back all aggressive and says he’d rather walk back. Terri points out that it’s far walk. Rick says that she called him a psycho. Paige tells Rick that that’s just Paige being herself, which is a bitch. Rick now is starting to get more aggravated and says, “What? That makes it ok? My feelings mean nothing to you?” Terri starts to panic from his vise like grip thanks to him hulking out due to anger again. She says that she’s going back because he’s hurting her. At that he loses it and yells, “You’re not going! You’re not!!” And then pushes her and Terri fucking splits her head open falling on top of one of the random cinder blocks just lying around. At this point Rick makes a shocked face because he knows that he went way over the line. He went up to 11 with that fury.

We cut back to Paige and she’s clearly worried about Terri because it’s been awhile since she left. They come out of the bushes and spot Rick kneeling next to Terri’s carcass. Rick looking like OJ with Terri’s blood all over his hands panics and runs away. I love how Spinner made no attempt to chase him and stomp his ass into the ground. Instead he runs to get his cell phone.

At Degrassi Mr Raditch is telling the entire class that Terri was maimed that weekend and is in the hospital until further notice. Marco starts to ask Snake if it was an accident and Spinner cuts him off by saying that it wasn’t an accident. Ashley wonders out loud if Rick is in jail. Snake tells everyone since he’s a minor he’s not allowed to talk about any specifics. Spinner tells him that if he see’s Rick, his ass is grass. Oh lord Snake then says, “We can talk about our feelings together.” I’m with Spinner, get the fuck out of here with that hippy bullshit Snake. Paige busts out this lame looking get well card for Terri and everyone signs it.

Back to the B plot, Ellie is telling Marco that she doesn’t really want to go visit Terri since she didn’t even know her. And you know what? Why should she? Marco offers to go with her and that’s when Sean comes by and get’s instantly annoyed at seeing Marco next to Ellie. He makes a major alpha move and makes Marco move out of the way. It’s hilarious. Ellie now pissed off leaves Sean by himself and goes with Marco. Ellie doesn’t seem to know how to act in a relationship.

The next scene is at the local Degrassi hospital. Terri is so messed up that she’s now in a coma. Terri’s dad comes along and tells Spinner and Paige that she’ll be having surgery later on in the night because she has a blood clot. He then starts to go off on Rick and he can’t believe that little prick would hurt his daughter like he did. By the look on their faces he picks up on the fact that they knew that he was being abusive towards her.  Understandably he yells at the both of them and asks why the hell didn’t they say anything. The both of them just leave with tears in their eyes.

Outside The Dot Paige stops her mini van and starts to cry. Spinner tells her that she’s going to be ok and gives her a little smooch. At that Paige aggressively starts to make out with him. Even Spinner being a big horn dog isn’t down for this shit. Paige of course get’s all pissed off and starts with the blame game. She goes on to say that none of this would have happened if Spinner would have just left them behind like she wanted to. Spinner now angry blurts out the fact that she’s the one who told her to go off with him. Check mate!

Inside, Ellie is telling Marco that she should dump Sean because he’s being rude towards Marco. Marco points out that the only rude one in that relationship is her. Plus he’s tired of being her security blanket and feeling like a third wheel. I think he just doesn’t want to hang out with Sean’s scumbag friends.

All dejected, Spinner makes his way back to Degrassi and then he spots Rick waiting inside a car. Spinner get’s super pissed and drags his ass out. Rick starts to yell, “Spinner stop!” Spinner asks him if he stopped when he ravaged Terri. Paige then comes along pleading for him to stop too. Rick’s mom then comes out of the school and tells them to leave her son alone. Spinner just leaves crying. Ugh! I would have been like Kevin Dillon’s character in Platoon and told Spinner, “Fucking pussy! He’s laughing at you!” I would have beat the shit out Rick. But you know, this is Degrassi and it wants to teach that an eye for an eye is not the way. Spinner sits on a bench and starts to cry to Paige that he’s no different than Rick. Paige tells him that he is different because he stopped himself. *Eye roll* Whatever.

We conclude the B plot by Sean and Ellie having a conversation about their relationship. They both think that they’re dumping each other. Ellie tells him that she’s sorry for being a horrible girlfriend, and then she says, “You haven’t been a great boyfriend either.” I don’t know how she figures this, but Sean knowing better just agrees with her craziness and says that he doesn’t hate Marco, he just wants to date her.

At the hospital Terri’s dad comes out and tells them that they don’t know if she’s brain damaged or not. They all apologize for their behavior and Paige says that they should have said something. He makes them feel better by saying that they’re good friends.

Man, I must be rusty, this took me about two hours to write. Ridiculous. But this was a pretty good episode. I guess we had to have a domestic violence story and Degrassi delivered. I still say Rick should have had his balls cut off for what he did. Another frustrating thing is that we never found out if Rick was punished or not. But this is Degrassi after all and they always like to leave things open ended.


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Season 3, Episode 10, “Never Gonna Give You Up”

Ok, after a computer breaking down and then having internet issues, I’m back for another review of Canada’s most fucked up school.

Pre-credit opener: We open on the students sitting on the gym floor for some type of class and Rick’s trying his best to be Lord fucking Byron with Terri. You know, I had forgotten that she had even gotten together with him. Oh of course it’s Mrs Kwan’s English class, so you know, they’re doing another activity that barely has to do with the subject she’s supposed to be teaching. Seems that they’ll be reenacting a scene that Marco has written. I guess he think’s he’s the next Shakespeare. Jimmy tells the group that he doesn’t want to act so he wants to be the director. Rick being annoying as hell says that he’s better suited because his mom once took a shit where they had plays once. Jimmy quickly shuts him down and makes him the stage manager. His smug look and attitude is infuriating. He get’s pissed though when Jimmy announces that Terri is going to be the lead and she gives him a hug. Clearly this motherfucker is insecure.

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The rehearsal’s for the scene is on and Terri is the world’s worst actress. Jimmy tries to get her to relax, but that’s when Rick comes along and gives her the worst stage directions like breathing deeply. He should know that someone of Terri’s size can’t take deep breathing, she’ll get really dizzy and pass out. Anyways, she does what he told her and it’s even worse acting than before. Terri sucks so bad that Jimmy wants a meeting at The Dot after school.

We cut to Spinner and Craig and Spinner is really dismayed that JT has wormed his way into Paige’s good graces. That’s because if you remember, he tried to beat up Dean for raping Paige, but he lost the fight badly. So maybe she just feels sorry for him. But Spinner doesn’t give a shit because JT is fucking aggravating and is always around. Spinner comes along and shoves JT out of the way and tells him to get lost. JT being an annoying pecker head starts to mimic Spinner, driving him crazy. I know I would have beat the shit out of him long ago. But he’s pussy whipped by Paige and he leaves him alone.

jt-paige

In the next scene Rick is starting to show Terri how insecure he is by asking her how long she’s known Jimmy and if she likes him. She says yeah, and he quickly makes a face. She tells him not like she likes him. If he wasn’t such a spaz, he’d realize that Jimmy has zero interest in Terri. In Snake’s class, Jimmy makes a face as they kiss. Hazel laughs and says that they’re not that bad. But Jimmy says that Rick is the one who’s nauseating. At her computer station Terri has carved Rick’s name onto the desk.

Later on at The Dot, Rick is giving the group more pointers about the boring world of theater. After he finishes, Terri has this smug look on her face like she’s super impressed by Rick and his stupid bullshit. Spinner comes along and takes their order because he’s working there now and that’s when they start to notice that Rick is a bit controlling. Especially since she wants a burger and he suggests that she order a salad instead because of her weight. If the woman wants to eat her own weight in chicken nuggets than let her you asshole. Of course Terri being stupid, she neither minds nor notices.

terri-rick

Back at Degrassi, Mr Raditch asks JT if there’s something that he wants to tell him. JT being a fuck up wonders what he did now to piss him off. That’s when he shows him a note where apparently it’s a love note for Mr Raditch from him. JT adamantly denies that it’s from him and Raditch is relieved to hear that. As he walks away, JT opens his  locker to see that he has a love shrine dedicated to Radich and quickly slams the door shut. Right away he knows that it was Spinner who did it. He then makes it clear that he doesn’t want JT’s corny ass hanging around anymore.

mr-raditch

At the theater stage, Terri is talking directly to the audience like a robot thanks to Rick’s advice. At that Jimmy has had enough and he goes up to Rick and tells him not to be telling Terri want to do because her performance has become worse and worse each time. Rick offers to tell her, but Jimmy says that he will, later on at The Dot without him. Rick didn’t like that one bit and looks at Jimmy with hatred in his eyes.

In the hallway Spinner is telling Paige and laughing at the fact that he completely humiliated JT earlier that day. That’s when JT comes along and tears off Spinner’s track suit pants, revealing his heart boxers to the world at large. Spinner swears vengeance against JT as everyone including Paige laughs their asses off at him.

spinner

Elsewhere Rick is having a meltdown over Jimmy telling him what’s what. Rick being an asshole then tells Terri that she doesn’t have to listen to him. Terri points out that she sort of has to because Jimmy’s the director. Being a typical manipulator he tells her that he just doesn’t want her to make an ass of herself in front of everyone.

And what does she do? She makes an ass of herself, but only because she listened to Rick’s advice. It’s funny because she was doing just fine until she saw Rick and his look of disappointment on his face. She goes from being natural to talking like a 60’s robot who has breathing problems. I love how she see’s that everyone is laughing at her when she started to do that, but she just can’t stop herself.

terri-marco

After school, Terri starts to go off on Rick and his stupid stage directions that humiliated her in front of the whole class. She mentions how she should have listened to Jimmy and that’s when he grabs her wrist all hard and tells her that he doesn’t like that tone of voice. Terri all afraid tells him that he’s hurting her and to let her go. You can tell this piece of shit feels no remorse for what he just did.

rick-terri

The next day Rick like all typical abusers tries to act like nothing happened and makes it up to her by bringing her flowers. He starts to tell her his paranoid fantasies of Jimmy being into her. Once again she tells him that they’re just friends. He then changes tactics and goes on to say how beautiful and wonderful she is. Terri craving attention of this kind completely falls for it.

In the girls restroom Paige and Hazel are telling Terri how lucky she is that she found a sweet dweeb like Rick. Why is this important you ask? Well I’ll tell you. Paige wants to hang out at her house so that Terri can tell them all about her relationship and that’s when Terri says, “I’ll have to ask him first.” After Paige leaves, that’s when Hazel notices Rick’s hand prints all over Terri’s wrist. Right away Hazel knows what’s up.

Out in the hallway, Spinner and JT’s prank war continues. Spinner’s next move is to act like he’s over the whole thing, but behind JT, Craig comes along and puts a speaker device in JT’s locker. After he leaves JT tries to flirt with Manny the whore, but that’s when these really monster sounding farts start to come out of his locker. Manny leaves all disgusted and right away he finds it and knows that it was Spinner still fucking with him. I just noticed that the girl behind Manny seems to be checking out her ass.

manny

In the theater/gym, Terri decides to ask Rick if she can go and hang out with Paige and have a girls night. Being possessive Rick tells her that he doesn’t like that idea and even tries to invite himself along. He goes on to accuse her of wanting to talk about him and trying to pick up other guys. Terri tells him that he’s acting crazy and that’s when he snaps and decides to bitch slap the shit out of her. Terri see’s blood on her lips and just leaves without saying anything.

terri-rick-slap

At The Dot, JT decides to order a really complicated order which flusters Spinner because he’s an idiot. Spinner tells him to cut his shit out and that’s when JT starts to copy everything Spinner says again. Spinner loses his minds starts to rough JT up and that’s when the owner comes along and calls him into his office all pissed off. Now, JT fucking with Spinner at his place of work is not cool, he definitely deserves a severe ass kicking for that shit.

We cut to Paige’s and that’s when Hazel decides to grill her about their relationship. Especially the fact that Rick and Terri never fight. Terri says sometimes, but it’s mostly just Rick being abusive towards her. So it’s one sided. Hazel then notices Terri’s fat lip, Terri being the victim defends Rick and denies that Rick is hurting her. She even goes on to say that Hazel is being a hater and leaves in a huff.

She comes along to one of Degrassi’s back alley’s and runs into Rick waiting for her like a fucking stalker. He tries to manipulate her again, by saying how much he loves her. Terri upset about her fight with Hazel tells him that she just wants to be alone. That’s when Rick takes it as an opportunity to tell her that he’s making a new rule and that rule is that she’s only allowed to talk to Paige and Hazel at school only. Instead of telling him to fuck off with that, she just says that she needs to go to think. Rick yet again loses it and starts to accuse her of wanting to dump his ass. She tells him that she does love him, but that he’s clingy as hell. When he hears that he shoves Terri against a shed and then apologizes to her. Terri now pissed off tells him that that’s the last time that he’ll ever touch her.

rick-terri-angry

In the hallway JT is telling Spinner how sorry he is for getting him in trouble at work. Especially since Paige told him that he got demoted to dishwasher. I’m surprised that Spinner didn’t get fired for beating up a customer. Anyways, they both call of their prank war. Spinner agrees to it as long as JT promises to stop cock blocking him. All JT demands is to be treated like a Human. However, JT get’s one final laugh as Mrs Kwan comes along and shows Spinner a love poem that he supposedly wrote to her.

spinner-jt

Elsewhere Jimmy is telling Terri that if Rick ever does that kind of shit again, to let him know so that Jimmy can get his ass kicked by Rick. Because come on, Jimmy has lost every single fight he’s been in and lost them badly. Terri goes on to tell Hazel that she feels so stupid for putting up with Rick’s abuse. She’s even more stupid because she says that she still cares for him. At her locker Terri see’s that Rick left a rose for her like he did before they got together. The episode ends with Terri full of sass throwing it onto the floor and annihilating it with her foot while making direct eye contact with Rick.

terri-end-credits

I’ll say that this was a good episode and only because this was a completely recycled episode from Degrassi High when Kathleen and her formerly mustached boyfriend Scott beat the holy hell out of her too. You can check out my episode review here: https://degrassijuniorhighreviewed.wordpress.com/2014/09/04/season-1-episode-6-nobodys-perfect/ I mean, goddamn, they even reused the same exact situation about Kathleen wanting to rehearse a scene from a play. Not very original at all Degrassi writers. As for the JT and Spinner prank war, it was more annoying than funny. So meh. The whole JT being in love with Raditch was funny though, so I’ll give them that.


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Season 3, Episode 8 “Whisper To A Scream”

Ellie becomes a cutter in this episode. Could she be even more fucking emo?

Seems like the Canadian army is deploying to Afghanistan for the war on terror and Ellie’s dad is going to be going into the shit. Ellie of course is depressed and her dad tells her not to worry since it’s just a peace keeping mission. Yeah right. I guess Ellie isn’t really worried about her dad, she’s worried about her mom. His dad tells her to calm her tits and that she’s under control. Whatever that means. Going by that, I’m assuming Ellie’s home life is complete and utter shit. No wonder she’s so dour. And to make the point, as soon as her dad kisses her mom good bye and goes onto the bus, her mom tells her not to show any emotions because she’s that cold of a person.

ellie-parents

The next day Ashley comes by and asks Ellie if she’s ok. Ellie completely following in her mother’s footstep’s tells her that it’s no big deal because he’s in the army and that’s what happens. Apparently Ellie is hella nervous because she’s interviewing for the most important and chance of a lifetime job she’ll ever get. Oh no wonder she’s nervous, she’ll be working for Caitlin and her stupid nature show. But Ellie, always negative is sure that Paige will get it because Paige get’s everything that she wants.

Seems like the B plot involves Terri and some creep who keeps leaving roses on her locker. I gotta say, it’s been a long time since Terri has had a storyline in the show. Terri seems to have a huge crush on a nerd who has 90’s rocker hair. Hazel starts laughing and says all loud, “You have the hots for Rick? Why don’t you ask her out bitch?” Hazel pushed Terri onto Rick and it’s as awkward as it can get.

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In Coach Armstrong’s class Paige comes by and looks obnoxious as hell with her stupid old fashioned glasses and power suit she has on. She basically tells Ellie that she’s totally going to get the job and Ellie get’s even more down. If that was possible. To make her day worse, Armstrong says that they’ll be taking a pop quiz and Ellie is so boned because she didn’t do her homework and it would have helped her out if she had done it.

The next scene Ellie is in the cafeteria and she’s bummed as hell because she bombed the test big time. Marco comes by bitching about the fact that he got a B+. Ellie tells him to shut the fuck up and not worry about it. She can’t finish her thought though because Marco has spotted Dylan taking off his sweater and is now horny for him. So off he goes to accost him. Paige and Ashley come by and that’s when the Asian counselor decides to make a visit and they have to sign some forms for the internship. Ashley got one for a record company. I don’t know how she did this, she’s completely talent less music wise. Please stop trying to make her and Craig into stars Degrassi! It’s not going to happen! Anyways, Paige some how manages to spill grape juice all over Ellie’s white emo shirt and she’s so distressed she seems like she’s going to cry. In the restroom Ellie is furiously scrubbing away, but at this point she’s fucked because that stain isn’t coming out, no matter what she does.

ashley-ellei-paige

We cut to Caitlin’s TV station and Paige is kissing major ass. It’s disgusting. Ellie meanwhile is wearing a huge rain coat that makes her look like a serial killer. Caitlin tells her to relax because Ellie is coming apart at the seams during her interview.

Outside Terri and Hazel are asking Manny the whore that if she likes someone if she would go for it. Manny says while looking at Craig, yes in a heart beat and life is too short. Craig still feeling guilty just looks at Manny and hauls ass. The conversation is interrupted by Toby and he’s creeping everyone out, more than usual I should say because he’s talking like fucking Hannibal Lector. Hazel thinks that maybe Toby is the secret admirer and Terri can’t help shuttering in disgust. Even Terri wouldn’t stoop so low as to go out with a spaz like Toby. Seems like she has dignity after all.

Oh come on Degrassi writers! Seriously?! Ellie walks in and sees her mother drunk as shit on the couch. I have a lot of disdain right now because they’re completely recycling the episode from Degrassi Junior High where Kathleen’s mom had the same problem which lead her to have bulimia. Instead of going that route, Ellie being a true emo supremo goes the cutting route.

ellie-cutting

The next morning Paige is pretty much telling everyone that she got the job because she and Caitlin connected on such a personal level. Ellie and Paige are then called out of class by the Asian counselor and much to Ellie’s surprise she got the job. Ha! In your face Paige! Paige makes a shitty remark because she’s a piece of shit and leaves in a huff. Not that Ellie cares though, because she just landed a nice primo job.

We cut back to Terri and Toby is once again acting like a creepy little shit by acting like Hannibal. Including having a creepy grin on his face. I swear, Toby adds nothing to this show. He’s the worst.

toby

In the next scene we see Ellie being way too into her new job and we get a montage of her working on a story for teen hotlines while this really lame song plays in the background. The story seems to hit a little close to home for her because someone brings up the subject of cutting. A pain she knows far too well. The rest of the montage deals with her lousy drunk of a mom and her coping with her drunkenness by cutting herself on her arm.

ellie-montage

We see her running up the steps of the school and it’s obvious that she’s late. The secretary is being a real bitch by pointing out that she doesn’t have a note explaining why she was late and that she was late a few times the last couple of weeks too. She then basically threaten’s Ellie by telling her that she can lose her job over it. I had no idea that the school secretary had that much power over students.

Upset over that fucking bitch acting like she was. Ellie goes into the restroom ready to cry and that’s when she decides to take her compass out and scratch the hell out of her arm. She’s interrupted by the worst possible person, Paige. Paige notices that Ellie is bleeding a lot and becomes concerned. Or is it just being nosy? Outside Paige tells her that she saw what she did and asks her why she would do that to herself for. Paige pleads with her to get help, but Ellie tells her to fuck off. It doesn’t help that Ellie can’t stand her ass.

ellie-paige

Oh lord. We got back to Terri and Toby once again pops out of the shadows with his horrible Hannibal impression. Terri’s had enough of his shit and asks him if he left her the rose. Toby then busts out a notebook and he explains that it’s a science report and he was testing Terri to see if she really has evil Satanic powers because Ashley told him about it. He goes on to say that Terri doesn’t have any gifts and that she failed miserably. Needless to say, Terri is beyond relieved that Toby isn’t the one that’s into her.

In the hallway, Paige is waiting on a bench and that’s when the Asian counselor conveniently says in front of Ellie that she’ll see her in a bit and wants to know all about her friend and her problem. Ellie of course loses her shit and goes off on Paige. Paige tells her that what she’s doing to herself is both scary and dangerous. Ellie tells her that Paige just can’t handle the fact that she lost out to Ellie and she’s just doing this because she wants her job. Paige tells her that it’s not the case and she just wants to help Ellie. She then proceeds to yell at her telling her to show her her arm. Ellie now in tears shows her her arm and it looks like a fucking Freddy Krueger attacked her in her nightmares. Paige in a rare show of compassion tells her that it’s ok and holds her hands.

ellie-cuts

Finally the Terri secret admirer story line is wrapped up and she’s glad to see that it is in fact that super nerd Rick that she likes. She catches him red handed putting the rose on her locker and it seems like he’s about to die of embarrassment. He tells her while using a bunch of big words, which is annoying as hell by the way that she’s totally worth all the effort and gives her the rose. Seems like they’re a good match since they both have about zero social skills.

terri

In the counselors room the Asian chick is just staring at Ellie while Ellie is just sitting there like a wooden Indian. The time for the session is up and it seems like that’s all the both of them did the entire time, which was nothing. Ellie apologizes for being a huge weirdo but the counselor tells her that it’s ok and that her just being there is a huge first step. The episode ends with Ellie reluctantly saying that she’ll be there the next day for another session where nothing get’s accomplished.

ellie-end-credits

Eh, I’m going to say that this episode was just ok. I remember when this episode aired, it generated a lot of controversy because a lot of the kids who watched it started to cut themselves too. I guess Degrassi didn’t do a good enough job by pointing out that cutting is fucked up and seriously bad for you. As for the Terri story line Toby delivered again and that was that he was an annoying little toad who added nothing to the story. At least Terri has finally found a guy willing to date her.

 


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Season 2, Episode 17, “Relax”

So right away my heart dropped because this is a Liberty episode and we all know that Liberty is one of the worst characters in Degrassi history.

Pre-credit opener: So it seems like there’s try out’s going on for the Degrassi field hockey team, except they’re playing inside the gym. Right from the get go it’s clear that Liberty has no coordination or athletic ability whatsoever. Mrs Hot Piece of Ass seems to be the coach and pulls her aside to talk to her. It’s hilarious hearing Liberty saying that she needs to improve on her scoring if she’s going to lead the team to victory. Like she would ever be any team captain. Anyways, Mrs Hot Piece tells Liberty that she wants her to be the equipment manager because she obviously sucks ass big time. So with very little dignity she assumes every nonathletic nerd’s position on a sports team.

girls hockey team

Outside the locker room it’s apparent that Manny, Emma and Jackie Chan impersonator Kendra have all made the team. Kendra mentions that it’s time to initiate Manny into the team and yeah, it’s as lame as you would expect. They spray her into oblivion with silly string. Liberty comes along and acts like a dick by saying that she’s going to keep all the girls inline. Someone should explain to her that she has no authority at all when it comes to the team. Except for washing dirty uniforms.

In class, Liberty has gotten a high mark on a paper that she did on Napoleon. I can imagine JT saying like Bill and Ted that he was just a short dead dude. Meanwhile, it seems like Terri hasn’t learned her lesson from the previous season and is starting to dabble in Satanism and witchcraft again. And to prove my point Ashley being Ashley points out that she hasn’t learned a thing from last year. Paige having no fear asks Terri to read her palm and Terri is immediately terrified because she just saw death in Paige’s palm. Of course Paige being stupid completely believes in Terri’s bullshit.

Terri, Hazel

Oh lord, we cut away to Liberty and she’s helping Degrassi fight the battle of dirty drawers. What a thankless job she has. She’s so bored in fact that she imagines the whole school cheering her on. She comes back to reality when Manny’s soiled uniform comes out of the washer. Coach Armstrong walks in and right away she starts to bitch at him because the girls uniforms are literally coming apart and points out that the boys teams all have the new ones. He tells her that the boys get more shit because there’s more boy’s teams. This is where she get’s her inspiration to seek out a sponsor for the girls.

And she goes to Joey for help. I don’t know why, since Joey seems to be always broke thanks to barely selling shitty cars to losers. But it turns out that she’s too late since the boys already asked him to sponsor  the basketball team. It sounds so sad when he tells her that boys have been doing really good all year, because it’s clear that he follows high school sports. To shut her up, he tells her that he’ll think about it. I don’t know why she just doesn’t go to someone or somewhere else. You know, someone who can actually donate a lot of fucking money.

Joey

Before practice Liberty is telling the girls what she’s planning to do about getting new uniforms, she even proudly shows them a jersey that she designed herself. But it’s short lived, Mrs Hot Piece comes along and tells her to fuck off  and to clean more laundry so that the other girls can practice for their first game.

In the MI lab, Paige and Hazel figure out that Terri is a complete idiot and miss read her palm. Turns out that she’s supposed to read the right hand and Paige has a long ass life line. Terri comes along and gives Paige some flowers. She makes it worse on herself because she tells her that anything she wants from her, just ask. Leave it to a shithead like Paige to take advantage of her stupid oafish friend.

Out in the Degrassi Quad, Liberty is feeling sorry for herself and Emma and the girls try to cheer her up by saying that they appreciate what she’s doing for them. But that’s when Drake and the boys come along and start to give her shit for her trying to steal Joey’s 200 dollar contribution to the Degrassi boy’s team. Liberty get’s so pissed at the boys dissing the girls that she challenges the boys to a match at floor hockey. The winner gets to have Joey’s worthless sponsorship, the losers have to do the other’s laundry for a month. Right away the girls know that they’re fucked because A, they’re boys and B, they’re older than they are. So they’re not really relishing washing Spinners soiled jock strap.

Liberty, Sean, Spinner, Jimmy

The next day of school Mrs Hot Piece tells the girls that they’re on their own because she doesn’t have time to coach them in a bullshit game that doesn’t really matter. That or she has a webcam show that she has to do after school in order to bring in some more cash. Liberty in a mad grab for power assumes the role of coach, saying that she’s going to take Napoleon’s approach to winning. She brings this huge book and it has a bunch of stupid ass ideas for the girls winning.

Mrs Hatzilakos

At their practice Liberty looks even more like an idiot because she’s sporting a cape. All the girls want to laugh their asses off at her because she looks like a complete dipshit. Manny tells her that she’s having a horrible period and wants to be excused but Liberty, predictably has already let what little power she has to go to her head and basically treats Manny like complete shit and tells her to basically walk it off.

Liberty, Kendra, Emma, Manny

Out in the hallway, Paige is hella taking advantage of Terri, especially by asking her to write her book report. What a fucking bitch I swear. But Terri is an idiot.

Meanwhile Drake and the boys are laughing at Liberty yelling at all the girls for not getting the plays that she wants to them memorize. She concentrates her fury on Manny, calling her the weakest link in the team. Manny should have told her that at least she made the goddamn team. It’s clear that the girls already don’t like Liberty as the coach. Well no one likes Liberty, but more than ever she’s hated. Out in the hallway Kendra tells her that no one likes her yelling at everyone and that they don’t get her stupid complicated plays.  After that tongue lashing, she turns around and the boys tapped a nasty looking jock strap to her locker. Just to stick it to her, and you know what? She deserves it.

Liberty, Kendra

In the MI lab Terri just finished Paige’s report at the cost of her own. Paige notices that Terri has a nasty, juicy looking zit on her forehead. Terri says it’s from stress, but that doesn’t faze Paige at all. And to prove it, she tells Hazel, “Who says dying isn’t fun?” Ashley just happens to overhear her and you can tell that she’s going to rat her out.

Terri Paige, Ashley, Hazel

And yeah, she walks up to Terri and  lets her know that she’s being played for a fucking moron.

Finally it’s time for the big game and there’s a huge crowd here for the battle of the sexes. Until Liberty comes along and kicks everyone out. Why anyone would listen to her is beyond me, but ok, she got them to leave the gym.

She tries to inspire the girls with a brainac quote, but no one understands what the fuck she’s talking about. Outside the school Ashley and Terri are conjuring up a really powerful demon to destroy Paige for making Terri out to be sap.  Paige runs away because Terri is ready to annihilate her ass.

Paige, Hazel, Ashley, Terri

Now that that bullshit is taken care of we go back to the game and the girls are losing 4 to 1.  All of a sudden Manny runs into Spinner and she hurts her wrist pretty bad. Joey tells her to go to the nurse, but Liberty, being a shithead tells Joey that she’s fine and can still play in the game. Joey ignores her and tells another one of the girls to take Manny to get checked out. At this Liberty completely loses her shit and starts to berate the girls and that’s when they’ve all had enough of her and they decide to quit.

Manny, EmmaLiberty

In the locker room the entire team calls out Liberty on being a gigantic asshole. They decide to go back to the game, but without her. Just like fucking Urkle, Liberty feels sorry for herself after being called out on her shit. Mrs Hot Ass comes along and quickly figures out what a horrible coach Liberty is.

Predictably the girls lost big time because Liberty is washing all the boys nasty jockstraps. Emma and the girls come in and they surprise Liberty by showing them brand new uniforms that she designed. You’d think that it would say the name of the school in the front, but instead it says, Jeremiah Motors. Turns out that Joey decided to sponsor both teams. He must have taken a loan from a mobster, or sold his Zits memorabilia because we all know that Joey is a broke dick loser. Anyways, Liberty is happy because she got her own uniform that says Equipment Manager. That’s normally something you don’t want to advertise.

Liberty End Credits

So yeah, this episode was pretty weak. Liberty was annoying as hell and it was basically another rehash of an episode of Degrassi Junior High when Wheels and the Chinese kid had a swim meet against LD, Caitlin and Melanie. You can tell the writers were scrapping the bottom of the barrel here.


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Season 2, Episode 9, “Mirror In The Bathroom”

So what I hear is that a lot of people hate this episode and who can blame them because it stars Toby in it. I have a feeling this one is going to be a real chore to write out.

Pre-credit opener: We see Liberty doing the school announcements congratulating Milhouse on a job well done competing and winning first place in the Canadian computer nerd Olympics. Oh shit, not even first place, it was third. See he’s such a loser that even in a competition amongst nerds he still can’t win. But I love how he’s looking around for people’s reaction but it’s clear that no one gives two fuck about him or his feat. He get’s even more disappointed when Sean get’s all the praise for being that month’s Degrassi sports MVP. It’s hilarious to see his generic jacket that just says Wrestling on the back. It’s like John Belushi’s now iconic sweater from Animal House that just said College. But I doubt the Degrassi writers are that clever.

Sean Toby

In Mrs H’s biology room he asks her if everything about them is decided through their DNA. She explains that eye color is, and the fact that she’s sexy as hell, but everything else is all them. He’s even more depressed now because being the class dip shit was all his doing. JT tries to reassure him that being a huge nerd isn’t a big deal but Milhouse is determined to change that aspect of himself, so he decides to go out for the wrestling team.

Toby, Mrs H

Out on the quad Spinner is saying how impressed he is by Terri’s new flip phone because it has wireless access, email and a GPS. Which still makes that phone very wack because it seems like it has a green screen. Paige and Hazel come along and demand to know where she got the money to buy a brand new phone and a new bag and coat. She just says that her dad made some extra money and that’s when Paige says, “What did he rob a bank?” Spinner tells her to leave her the fuck alone already and to mind her one business. But she’s determined to know because she’s nosy as hell and her guess is that Terri is shoplifting all her new swag.

Terri

In the cafeteria JT is telling Milhouse the same thing I was was thinking that if he tries out for the wrestling team than he’s going to get murdered. Toby figures that if he trains hard enough that he’ll get into shape in order to kick some ass. But come on, let’s get realistic here. He couldn’t kick anyone’s ass if his life depended on it. Ashley comes along and it’s now the look that she’s going to have the rest of the season, dark and very short hair. Toby calls her a vampire and says that he won’t be home because of wrestling practice. Even Ashley being all emo can’t help laughing at his puny ass.

It seems like it’s a new day and Terri and the girls are hanging out on the steps and that’s when Spinner walks in and asks her why didn’t she tell them. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he takes them outside to look at something. They get to a bus stop and holy shit. Terri is in an ad campaign for a plus size clothing line called More Grrrl. What a name. Terri tells them that she didn’t want to tell them about it because of her weight again. And to make her point some kid who I’ll name Sabu comes along and starts making fun of her asking her if the photographer used a wide angle lens. Everyone defends her, but Terri still feels bad because of that asshole.

Terri, Sabu

Milhouse walks in for the try outs and is immediately intimated by Sean choking out Sabu on the floor. Coach Armstrong starts to weigh them for their weight classes and this black nerd totally wants to wrestle Milhouse because he knows that he can take him. But Armstrong says that they’re in different weight classes and Milhouse is going to be paired off with Sean. This is literally the battle between the eye brows and it’s over in about 2 seconds. So pathetic.

Sean, Toby

In the MI class JT tells Toby about some wrestling website that he just happened to find. The point of this boring scene is that making weight is bad for you. Very, very bad and in true Degrassi fashion Toby is going to have to learn this lesson the hard way. Too bad we have to witness it.

We then go into a training montage with JT helping Toby lose weight. I bet this is the first time that Milhouse has actually done something physical outside of gym class. We should have heard You’re the Best Around from the Karate Kid during this scene, but I’m more than sure that Degrassi couldn’t afford it. Anyways, Toby runs around with a garbage bag around him because I’m guessing it’s supposed to make him sweat. He should have watched the classic 80’s wrestling movie Vision Quest to see how making weight is really accomplished, but I’m convinced that Toby would have seriously died. Toby starts to complain that in three days he’s only lost about 1 pound. JT decides to take Toby to the local Degrassi mini mart for a drink and that’s when Toby spots some ex lax. So of course he has the great idea that he’ll shit out the rest of the pounds.

JT, Toby

The next day of school Toby is obviously starving from not eating and is ready to be weighed again. Coach Armstrong notices the big drop in weight. Not really, just about five pounds, but he warns him that if he’s caught making weight then he’ll be cut from the team. But who cares. Toby dropped enough to wrestle the little black dweeb and unbelievably beats him. I never thought that Toby could over power anyone, but he did. So he’s now on the team.

At their house Ashley calls Toby Jockstrap and says that there are two giant chocolate muffins just waiting for his pudgy ass to devour. But since he wants to keep the weight off he decides to skip them and his breakfast. She points out that he’s been skipping his meals for days now. True to his fashion he acts like a complete dick and calls her a vampire again.

Ashley

In the Degrassi lobby Sabu is telling Toby that now that he’s on the team he get’s his own cheap generic windbreaker of his very own. Toby is beyond ecstatic at this point. Especially since it seems like this would be girlfriend Kendra just loves that he’s sort of a jock. It doesn’t last long though and he annoys the shit out of her and the new wheel chair girl. JT comes along and points out what a giant wannabe douche bag Toby is acting now. Toby acts like a dick towards him too and says that he’s just jealous because he’s just the mascot.

Kendra, Wheelchair

In the MI class Hazel asks Terri when her next photoshoot is and she says that very day, but she’s not going to go because she’s so goddamn insecure about her weight. Paige get’s all annoyed with her because she wants to back out of it because of what Sabu said.

Oh God! We get it Degrassi writers! One thing about Degrassi is that they always manage to cram their message down our throats. Even when we get the picture. Toby is all dizzy because he’s not eating and Ashley comes along giving him even more shit about it.  Toby orders a bunch of food just to get her off his back and the food looks nasty as hell.

Toby, Ashley

And of course the next scene is in the boys laboratory and Toby throws his lunch up. JT just happens to walk in and hears him yacking in the stall. Ashley comes along and tells JT that she’s worried about Toby. JT mentions that he’s been acting all crabby and that’s when she mentions that she’s pretty sure that he has an eating disorder. JT tells her that that’s only girl stuff but she points out to him that guys can get it too. So after school special here! We get more evidence of Toby not being well and even Snake notices that he looks like complete shit.

Spinner comes along and he hears Terri canceling her photoshoot. She tells him that she’s through with the plus size modeling gig because she hates her body. Spinner for once not being a fucking asshole tells her that she really is beautiful and that a lot of guys like a girl with some extra meat on them. He goes on to say that she shouldn’t listen to guys who put her down. I saw Christina Schmidt, the actress who plays Terri on Instagram and she is finer than a motherfucker. I know that has nothing to do with the story, just saying.

Terri, Spinner

Finally it’s time for the first wrestling meet and Toby is about five minutes away from dying or at least passing out because he’s so malnourished. JT tries to reason with him but he doesn’t want to hear a thing. He get’s all pissed off because Ashley and him are worried about him. I would say it was the starvation talking but Toby is just that big of a dickhead to get mad at something like that. He vows to JT that he’s going to go out there and win and not get third place in some geek contest.

Toby starts his match and immediately dies from his heart just stopping. He just drops dead and everyone is all horrified at the sight. But no, he’s still alive, that was just my little fantasy there. Much like Claude’s death Toby’s death would have zero impact on the school or the students.

Toby, Passed Out

This scene right here is the best part of the episode because Terri finally stands up for herself. Terri is telling Paige and Hazel all about her photoshoot and is even showing them pictures. That’s when Sabu once again makes fun of her by saying that she should join Degrassi’s sumo team. Terri can’t stands no more of this shit and goes off on his ass. She makes fun of his goofy job as an ice cream man and tells him how she made mad money off of one photoshoot. I have to admit, I laughed my ass off.

Terri, Paige, Sabu Sabu, Terri

At their house JT walks in and Toby tells him that Coach Armstrong chewed his ass out and kicked him off of the team. Serves him right for trying to become something that he’s not. Toby feels good because people actually asked if he was ok. Especially because it was Sean and Kendra asking for the most part.

Toby, End Credits

So yeah, now that I think about it, this was a big time rehash of the Degrassi Junior High episode when Kathleen had her eating disorder. Only they did a much better job at it than this go around. Maybe I would have given a shit if t was anyone else but Toby. At least Terri’s story line was a bit more entertaining and it was great to see her finally standing up for herself.


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Season 2, Episode 8, “Shout Part 2”

So yeah, I deliberately put this one off because I just hate this two parter so much. It’s probably because I dislike both Paige and Dean. Even though Paige is the victim in this episode.

Pre-credit opener: I’m surprised we didn’t get a recap of the last episode. Right away I can tell that Paige is dreaming just by going by the strange way the scene in the Degrassi girls restroom is being lit. As if to remind us how old as fuck Dean really is, he pops out of a stall and we can see that he has a tattoo on his forearm. With a smug look on his face, he says, “Hey Spirit.” Paige immediately starts to freak out and tells him that he raped her. Dream Dean starts to tell her that she wanted it and forces himself on her again. Mercifully Paige is woken up from her dream by her alarm clock.

Paige, Dean

At Degrassi Terri sporting some corn rolls tells Paige all about a female empowerment band competition, or something like that. Terri is way into getting into the competition, but Paige points out to her that their band PMS broke up. That didn’t last long at all. Probably because Ashley was ostracized by that shithead Paige. Paige being Paige now wants to do it because they can win a trip to LA and play in front of some record executives.

In Snake’s class Terri mentions to Paige that they need Ashley to sing but Paige still being filled with hatred tells her fuck no. Oh lord, she turns Hazel around and tells Terri that she’s their new lead singer. But she instantly regrets that decision because Hazel can’t sing worth a shit. She’s so God awful. Even Ashley looks like she wants to laugh her ass off in the back ground.

Paige, Hazel,

In Mrs Kwan’s English class Terri is giving a nervous speech about her ode to foode. Ashley then comes up and just like Claude from Degrassi High depresses everyone, because her’s is about the fucked up subject of rape. Where would she even think about doing that. It’s like, “Oh I have an afternoon free, let me write about rape.” As I typed that I saw my own reflection on the monitor and realized that I’m an asshole writing about rape on his free time too. Oh the irony. Moving on, Paige of course is taking it to heart because unlike Ashley, she is a victim of it.

Ashley, Paige, Hazel

Back to the MI lab and Sean is giving a report about the inventor of motorcycles. Isn’t this a computer class? Why are they giving speeches about people they admire? It’s like the teachers at that school just do whatever. And speaking of whatever, Liberty comes up and her subject is JT. She dresses up like him and completely humiliates him by having all sorts of embarrassing pictures of him. Including pictures of him looking extremely gay and looking even more gayer being outside shirtless with some floaties. Turns out that Milhouse is the one who gave her his photo album. But what kid at that age keeps photos of himself?

JT, Liberty

At the lockers JT comes up to all of his friends laughing their asses off at him and he tells them that it wasn’t that funny. But they beg to differ. Liberty points out that her imitation of him was a tribute. So going by that he starts to act like her and points out how she acts like a nerdy two shoes and how she really doesn’t have any friends and no one likes her. She leaves all pissed off sort of like she wants to cry and now everyone is pissed off at him. I hate it when people can dish it out, but they can’t take it. Stand your ground JT, she deserved it.

In the Degrassi music room Hazel is still singing like complete shit and Paige can’t take it any more. Terri comes in wearing the same outfit from the previous season and says that she did it to get into the mood. Paige tells her that it’s so last year and she’s way out of touch with trends. Terri tells her, “Bitch, why do you have to be so mean?” But of course being a heinous bitch she says, “I’m not mean, I’m right.” If I were Terri I would have said, “I quit.” Seriously who needs that abuse. Anyways, Paige tells her that they’re going to go by a new wardrobe and Terri, surprisingly  stands up for herself and tells her no. Then says, “Paige doesn’t understand that word, never has.” HAHA! That sure got her. Paige get’s super pissed and tells her to cut her shit out. They start to rehearse and yeah, they fucking suck donkey balls, mostly because of Hazel.

Terri, Hazel, Paige

Paige leaves the room all disgusted at the both of them and she decides to pay Ashley a visit at her house. Outside we can hear Ashley singing stupid emo songs that she wrote herself on her mom’s piano. Paige knocks on the door and Ashley all surly tells her, “What are you doing here?” As the scene is going on Ashley is pointing out to her that she has real nerve asking her for her help after what she did to her. Paige starts to kiss major ass and tells her how great her dark poem was and that it spoke to her. Ashley being right tells her that it’ll just end up like last year with Paige ruining everything. After much groveling Ashley agrees to join PMS again because she’s a glutton for punishment.

Ashley

At the Degrassi recording studios Ashley is back practicing on her keyboard and she gives all the girls new lyrics. She goes on to tell them that it’s about rape. Yeah out of all subjects fucking Ashley decides to go with this one. All happy about it, she tells the girls the stats on how many teenage girls get raped by the time they get to college. Predictably Paige goes ape shit and tells her to change the lyrics to the song and a whole big argument begins between the two of them. Paige then demands that they do the other lyrics instead. Again, I don’t know why Ashley doesn’t tell her to go fuck herself and quit the band.

We go back to the B plot and JT starts to make fun of Liberty and her lameness again. He points out the same thing I said that she can dish it out, but can’t take it. At that she starts to go off on him and calls him, “JT Dork.”  and some other shit about him not knowing her. He says that he does and that she’s a big bore of a person and she does nothing fun. She grabs a marker out of his hand and does a Satanic looking symbol on some lockers and tells him, “Fun enough for you!” Stupid JT then starts to try and rub it off, but since it’s a permanent, it’s not going anywhere.

JT

In the MI lab Ashley confronts Paige about the lyrics and they have another argument again. Ashley tells her that she’s acting just like she was last year and demands to know what her problem is with her fucked up lyrics. Paige shouts to her that singing a song about rape isn’t going to win them the contest. You know, I have to agree with her on that. She goes on to say that Ashley doesn’t know jack shit about it and her reading about it doesn’t mean that she does. Ashley tells her that she’s allowed to imagine and Paige shouts, “No you’re not!” And then stops because the whole class including Snake are just staring at the two of them. All calmly she tells Ashley to bring the old lyrics.

Media Immersion Class

Back with JT and Liberty, JT asks her how could she do that and she wrote “graffiti” on his locker. She starts to act like an asshole and that’s when Mr Raditch interrupts them and he’s seriously pissed off. He tells him what he was thinking and that people saw him do it. JT denies it but dumbass has all the red ink all over his hands because he tried to rub it off. Liberty is all smiles because Raditch took him to his office for a caning and a call home to his mom. In Mrs Kwan’s class Milhouse asks her if she’s seen JT and she tells him what happened. Milhouse get’s all depressed and tells Liberty that if JT got in trouble again his mom was going to send his ass to Oats Military Academy.

PMS is rehearsing again but that’s when Hazel walks in and tells them with a sign that she can’t sing. Paige makes a sarcastic remark at that and Hazel flips her off and says that she can’t sing due to Polyps. Ashley get’s all excited over Hazel’s misfortunes, which pretty much makes her look like an awful person. She starts to sing her rape song again and fuck! Paige for about the 6th time in this episode get’s all pissed off and tells her that they’re not going to use those lyrics.

They go outside and they start to go at it. Paige finally starts to cry and Ashley can finally see that Paige was actually raped. So the flood gates are now opened and Paige tells her what happened. Ashley asks her if she’s been to a dr and Paige tells her that he used a condom. She doesn’t even want to see a counselor about it. Later on all this inaction about Dean is going to bite Paige in the ass. But that’s a few seasons from now.

Ashley, Paige

Back to JT, it seems like Mr Raditch has given him a jar of piss and a tooth brush to clean the mess that Liberty made. And speak of the devil. She comes along and admits to him that she was the one who defaced school property.

Mr Raditch, Liberty, JT

Finally it’s time for the big battle of the Female bands and it seems like it’s at a shopping mall. Way to be cheap Degrassi producers. They come out and Paige is stricken stiff with terror because she spots Dean out in the crowd looking more smug than ever. But she actually starts to get pissed off and she starts to sing Ashley’s lyrics about being raped. Dean leaves all scared thanks to the power of Rock and Roll and those lyrics.

Paige Dean

We come to JT and Liberty and it seems like she’s on garbage detail and she tells JT all about Mr Raditch telling her parents what she did. And yeah, who cares. This is another B plot that always ground this episode to a halt.

In the hallway it’s clear by what they’re saying that they lost the battle of the bands. Ellie comes along and tells them that they were robbed. She goes on to tell Paige that she was awesome. As they all leave Paige is going to walk into her guidance counselor’s office and she’s ready to talk. But she’s talking to the wrong person. Going by experience, my guidance counselor was completely useless.

Paige, Ellie, Ashley Paige, End Credits

So there you have it peeps. The rape two parter. It was ok. No you know what? I hate this two part episode. Why lie about it. It pisses me off that nothing really happened to Dean. You would have thought that an alpha bitch like Paige would do everything in her power to completely destroy that piece of shit. But no, it’s left all opened ended. But what do we expect from Degrassi. God forbid we ever get any closure to story lines.


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Season 2, Episode 4, “Karma Chameleon”

Pre-credit opener: Paige is telling the gang all about her lame retro roller skating party. Do kids still go roller skating? Anyways Ashley over hears her and she says that it sounds like fun, but Paige much like Voula in Degrassi Junior High is still carrying a grudge about something that happened last season and that was when Ashley got high and called her a hag. Anyways, Ashley tells her that she get’s it that she doesn’t want her to go to her stupid party. Paige takes that as an opportunity to bring up what Ashley did, plus all the shit talking she did to everyone. Ashley vows to Terri that she wants to get her friends back and she’s going to do it somehow. That has to hurt on some level for Terri to hear.

Ashley, Terri

Ah so I guess the episode is going to deal with photo day and Paige is asking Hazel what kind of angle she should use in the picture. I don’t know what she’s talking about because the photographers tell everyone to pose in the same way. We’re then introduced to a new character, resident goth girl Ellie Nash and she basically refuses to move her seat just so Hazel can sit next to Paige. I love how she doesn’t take any of Paige’s bullshit in this scene. Ugh! The way Paige used Hun was especially irritating.

Ellie, Hazel, Paige

Ashley then comes along and apologizes profusely to Paige over last years events. Paige makes it very difficult for Ashley to do so because she’s such a bitch. I would have said, “You know what? Fuck you.” But Ashley is desperate to be back in the cool crowd again. Seems like she finally got through to her because she kind of smiled after she left.

Paige

Oh God!! Milhouse is going on to JT about the magic of anime. I’ll admit, I like a few things here and there. But not like he’s going on about it. Even JT is sick to death of hearing about the newest Japanese sensation, even though it’s been around since forever. Emma sort of defends him after JT says that it’s for geeks and Toby starts to ask her what her favorite character is. All annoyed she says, “I said I know about it, I didn’t say I like it.” Manny tells Milhouse that girls aren’t into that bullshit and they go off to hang out with Craig because they’re into guys who look like Arnold Horshack.

Emma, Toby

Oh, we’re now introduced to another new character and it’s the very sexy Mrs Hatzilakos. Spinner doesn’t even try to not stare at her hot ass as she’s walking by. Shit, even Jimmy is staring at her too. Spinner of course has no idea what she’s talking about because he’s so distracted by the power of her legs. You know I had a hot teacher like that in the 5th grade who wore little miniskirts and even back then I was like Spinner. Ashley is doing the apology rounds and Jimmy is up next on her list. She apologizes for humiliating him and for almost doing Sean. HAHA! Jesus did her mom overreact to just one Ecstasy pill. Ashley explains that she was in drug counseling for the entire Summer. It’s not like she was an addict. You can tell that Jimmy is ready to take her back, especially since he tells her that he’s missed her alot. Spinner in the background is all annoyed at him for being such a big push over.

Spinner Ashley, Spinner

Holy shit, we’re being introduced to another new character. This is the third one in five minutes. I thought it was a young Jackie Chan at first. And no not just because she’s Asian, but that hair! Turns out that her name is Kendra Mason and she’s just into Anime as much as Milhouse is. Turns out that Snake has a program on how to draw stuff in that style but she has it at the moment. She offers to give it to him during lunch and it’s obvious that he’s instantly smitten with her.

Kendra Mason

Out on some bench Paige is totally against forgiving Ashley because she’s just that much of a shitty person. Jimmy tells her to give her a break already and that’s when Paige correctly assumes that he still likes her. Hazel points out to her that she should let it go, especially since Ashley apologized to her. I gotta point out, it’s their lunch break but going by the light you can tell that it’s dusk. That bother’s me so much whenever I see that happen!

Spinner, Jimmy, Paige, Hazel

In the cafeteria Sheila the lunch lady is telling Ashley that she’s not running a soup kitchen there. It’s obvious that Ashley forgot her lunch money for the very expensive Degrassi lunch menu. Sean see’s what’s happening and decides to make a move by paying for her lunch. Even though he’s poorer than Charlie Bucket. Ashley thanks him and they get to talking, especially about their make out session. Ashley then says that they’re friends and are cool. Craig being nosy asks him what happened between the both of them. Sean mentions the party and that they hooked up. But no they didn’t. I don’t consider making out hooking up, unless he did more to her that we didn’t see. Sean you sly motherfucker. I’m impressed. Craig encourages him to ask her out on a date.

Ashley, SeanCraig, Sean

In Mrs Kwan’s room Ashley walks in late and Paige reluctantly lets her sit down next to her. Seems like Ashley is now in her good grace’s because Mrs Kwan was giving her shit for being late and trying to sneak into class. Paige takes this an an opportunity to call her a cow and they have a good laugh over it.

In Ashley’s room Ashley is trying on all sorts of clothes for photo day. Terri points out that she seems happier than a pig in shit. Ashley says that she should have apologized to everyone much sooner. She get’s a phone call and it’s Sean asking her out on a date for that Friday night. She accepts of course and Terri starts to give her shit about it since it seems like she’s back with Jimmy. Ashley not showing any tact once again tells her, “Terri, one day when a guy likes you, you’ll understand how this works.” This is like the second or third time that Ashley has said something shitty about Terri’s lack of a love life. But unlike the other times she immediately apologizes. Not like Terri feels better about it though.

Terri, Ashley

In the boys restroom Spinner is taking a leak while bringing up Kendra to Milhouse. He mentions how she can’t stop talking about him. Milhouse wonders how they even know each other and that’s when Spinner tells him that she’s his sister. Milhouse is even more confused until Spinner says, “She’s adopted, moron. And only in grade 7. So if you go near her, I’ll turn your glasses into contacts.” Which actually gave me a good laugh, especially since it seems like Toby pissed his pants.

Toby, Spinner

In the hallway Paige and Ashley are closer than ever with Ashley calling her a sex kitten. Paige notices the face that Terri made and it was the same one I did when I heard that exchange. Terri spills the beans about Jimmy liking her but Ashley is choosing to go out with Sean instead. I don’t know why Paige even gives a fuck about that, but she does. She cares way too much in fact. You can tell that she was waiting for any excuse to get upset with Ashley again.

Terri, Paige

In Mrs Hatzilakos class Jimmy is busy staring at Ashley while Paige sticks her head right next to him. She can’t help being a bitch and makes a stupid analogy about him and Ashley and the science experiment that they’re doing. But she’s not done yet, she goes on to tell him all about Ashley’s date with Sean that Friday night. Drake is now beyond pissed because she’s going out with his mortal enemy.

In the hallway Milhouse now completely devastated is telling JT all about Kendra being that asshole Spinner’s sister. She comes up to him and she asks him if he saw some anime the night before. He can’t help geeking out and telling her how much he loves that show. She makes a lunch date with him but he doesn’t stay there for long because he spots Spinner gawking at them and he leaves all terrified.

At Sean’s locker Jimmy comes up to him full of attitude. Sean tells him that he thought that they were now cool but Drake says that he was wrong. You can tell that Sean could give a fuck either way. But Jimmy then tells him that he better stay away from Ashley since they’re going out again. But Sean brings up the fact that they’re going to be going out on a date that Friday night. Oh burn! Jimmy tries to grab Sean but Sean just manhandles him for the third time in this series and shoves Jimmy against the lockers. Didn’t Jimmy learn his lesson from his last beating? Craig breaks it up and it’s hilarious how Jimmy get’s in Craig’s face instead.

Sean, Jimmy, Craig

In the Media Immersion class Ashley comes in all cheerfully and says hi to Jimmy. Jimmy all of a sudden says, “Don’t talk to me you slut.” If I were in that class I would have been, “Ohh snap!!” You know, basically being a shit starter. Ashley is shocked that he just called her that and wants to know what the fuck his problem is. He starts to say that that’s what girls are who mess around on their boyfriends. She points out that they’re not together anymore. He brings up old shit and the fact that she kissed Sean in the last season. It’s hilarious to see that the whole class is on Jimmy’s side.

Jimmy, Ashley

It’s finally picture day and the 8th graders are getting their pictures taken first. Kendra waves to Milhouse, but he’s such a puss he just looks away without waving back. Emma makes fun of him by making clucking sounds. He goes on to point out how afraid he is of Spinner.

In the lunch room Ashley seems to have changed her stupid orange camo shirt to a Degrassi sweater. She starts to tell Ashley and Hazel about the Jimmy situation and that’s when Paige puts her backpack on her seat and tells her to go sit somewhere else. Oh my God how I wished that Ashley would have grabbed Paige by the hair and start slamming her head against the table. Terri comes along and asks them what was going on. Paige then says, “Hun it’s simple, four years of high school. Will you spend them cool with all of us. Or as a big outcast loser as one of her. You decide.”

Hazel, Paige, Ashley

Back in the hallway Milhouse is having an even more bad day because he just dropped all of his books. Kendra comes by and gives him the stupid anime CD Rom. She goes on to ask him what’s going on with him because she thought that he liked her. She quickly realizes that he’s afraid of Spinner and basically calls him a big pussy by saying, “You coward.” That has to hurt his ego, even though he’s a huge fucking geek.

Toby

At Ashley’s locker Sean comes by and tells her that they can watch any movie that she wants. She tells him fine, but then asks him if they can postpone the date for a later time. That’s when he realizes that she doesn’t want to go out with him because she cares way too much what that shithead Paige thinks. Sean says, “Whatever.” and leaves all disgusted. Ashley slides down to the floor and we see Ellie sitting there. She says, ” That went well.” I was totally waiting for Ashley to tell her fuck you.

Ellie, Ashley

Milhouse comes upon Spinner and Kendra arguing about house hold chores and he finally decides to be a man and stand up to him. Spinner is impressed that a nerd like him actually had the balls to do that. He tells him fine but not to break her heart unless he wants him to eat his bowels. Which is the same thing as saying that he eats pieces of shit for breakfast. She then asks him if he wants to go get some ice cream. Milhouse lucked out because she’s a bit too cute for the likes of him. But love wins after all!

Spinner, Kendra, Toby

It’s finally time for the 9th graders to get their pictures taken and Paige being Paige is mocking Ashley’s Degrassi sweatshirt. Ashley is feeling pretty bad at the moment until she see’s Terri walk in. She calls her over, but instead Terri goes with Paige’s group. That fucking Judas! The look on Paige’s face is infuriating. Ashley now devastated at losing all of her friends tells the obnoxious photographer to just take the goddamn picture already. She’s so down that she doesn’t care that she’s crying when the pic is taken.

Hazel, Terri, Paige Ashley, End Credits

I liked this episode even though Paige acted like a complete fuckhead in it. I’m still advocating that someone kick her ass at one point in this show. But it was nice to see some of the other new characters finally being introduced. Even Toby wasn’t as horrible as he usually is, probably because Spinner and Kendra buffered him out. By the way, my hand is still bothering me, but not as much with a brace on. So there’s progress being made.