Season 2, Episode 12, “White Wedding” Part 1

January 5, 2016 by Degrassi TNG Guy 2 Comments

So happy New Year peeps! Hope we all have a good one. We have another bit of a Degrassi Junior High/High reunion with this two parter. I’ll try to get to Part II of this episode sooner than later, but I started watching Homeland and I have other stuff going on in my life at the moment. So this Blog is the last thing on my mind.

Pre-credit opener: Already I’m seeing a difference between the DVD version and the one that was broadcast on the N. The N said it was a Degrassi Special and had the cast members names appearing as the action was happening. In this version we don’t have none of this. In the Media Immersion class Snake is wearing a stupid horn helmet with a memory board attached to it. He asks the class a question and Liberty being a teacher’s pet answers it immediately. Snake’s not really paying attention because he’s just so goddamn excited about his upcoming wedding with Spike. To illustrate the point we get another shot of the stupid wedding invitation that Spike most likely came up with. Liberty then gives him a wedding present and it’s from the class it seems like. This never would have happened in my school, the students could give two shits if a teacher was getting married or not. Anyways he starts to give a lame speech about love. JT mentions how he wants to throw up and Sean says, “Someone’s never been in love.” Toby just has to be a dick and brings up Emma to him. I’m surprised Sean didn’t kick his ass right then and there.

Oh lord this is going long. Emma wakes up and is in a panic because they have a lot of shit to do that day. Spike takes Emma to Degrassi so that Emma can turn in some assignments because she’s that much big of a nerd. While she’s inside Spike looks at a bag that she got at the pharmacy and it’s obvious to anyone that it’s a pregnancy test.

Emma comes running through the halls like a bat out of hell and turns in an essay to Mrs Kwan. I love how she’s giving Emma a compliment, but Emma’s not listening. As soon as she handed it in she hauled ass again while Mrs Kwan was talking. Manny comes up to her and mentions how Sean is still into her. Emma mentions that they just dated and that they weren’t in love. Just hearing that annoyed the shit out of me because I see them as little kids and it just sounds silly that they were “dating”. Anyways, Emma sounds a bit interested but she can’t talk because she’s in a rush.

So this sets up the next scene and Manny can’t help not minding her own business and gives Sean an invitation to the wedding. Sean can’t believe it and is way too happy to be invited. Especially after he accidentally annihilated Emma during his big fight with Jimmy last season.

Oh great we come to the B plot and it involves Toby and JT. Surprisingly Craig is now involved in their stupid bullshit too because the both of them are a couple of horn dogs and want to know if Joey is going to have a stripper at Snake’s bachelor party. I love how Craig doesn’t even know their names. But he mentions that Snake told Joey that he doesn’t want any strippers there because Snake is one of the lamest motherfuckers on the planet. But the power of the hornyness of these two over power Craig and he’s now consumed with lust as well.

They go to a strip club and want to find out if they can hire some stripper by the name of Fancy. The guy tells them to fuck off and shuts the door on them. Outside Joey’s, Craig is clearly now a walking hard on. Just look at that intense face of his. He wants to see some titties and he wants to see them bad! Joey pulls up and he tells JT and Toby to hang back while he tries to convince Joey to get the stripper. Because Joey is a horny loser too, he goes against Snake’s wishes and says that he’s going to get one. Joey reasons that Snack (I just called Snake Snack, it’s a fuck up, but it’s amusing so it stays) should have a first look at a naked woman before he get’s married to Spike.

Back at Spike and Emma’s, Spike has just given Emma a perm for the wedding. I had no idea that people still got perms. Spike finally goes upstairs and takes her pregnancy test. At least she doesn’t have to wait two hours like she did in Degrassi Junior High. At the front door Emma takes a wedding cake from a Vietcong lady and of course the cake is all wrong because it’s this huge star of David cake instead.

Emma is making a huge deal about the cake and she’s surprised to see that Spike doesn’t really care about the mix up. And yeah, Spike’s pregnant. I’m more surprised than anyone because who would have thought that Snake was up for having sex before marriage.

Outside Emma is in complete shock and blurts out to Manny that Spike is pregnant. Manny mentions how it’s sort of exciting and she makes things worse by telling her that she invited Sean to the wedding. Emma get’s all sorts of pissed off and demands that she go and uninvite him. Emma can’t linger on it because she just realized that she left her perm on for far too long and is now stuck with a huge fro for the wedding.

The door bell rings and it’s Caitlin and Lucy. Again I have to point out that Spike never hung around either of these two characters when they were in Degrassi Junior High. But the writers just said fuck it and now they’re her bridesmaids. Lucy mentions how they’re going to have a girls night out later on. Caitlin just can’t help being a feminist and mentions that if Snake can have a lame night out, so can they.

At Sean’s junk yard, Tracker is telling him that it would be nice to get out of the city for a while. But Sean shows him the stupid wedding invitation and that’s when Manny comes around and trips on all the spare parts they have around the place. Sean already has a bad feeling because Manny is all obvious about being the barer of bad news. She just says that it was a mistake to invite him and Sean is hurt right in the feels!

Back at Spike and Emma’s, Snake and Joey comes around and good God. Joey is once again sporting a Hawaiian shirt. Turns out Snake is going to be moving in with Spike so they’re moving all his shit into her house. Because I’m shallow as fuck, I have to point out that Caitlin is looking mighty good! Anyways, Caitlin asks them if they’ll have some strippers for the bachelor party but Snake immediately says, “Nope, no strippers.” He knows that if Spike finds out about it she’ll take his other testicle because she already owns the left one. I love how Spike orders Snake to talk to him by saying, “Come here, talk to me.” Snake being completely pussy whipped has no choice but to do her bidding. Shit, he replies with, “Yes master.” That’s no joke either. She tries to tell him about the baby but stupid Lucy comes in and asks them when they’re going to have a kid. Snake takes that as the opportunity to tell everyone in the room that he’s no where near ready to have children. Yeah, Spike is hella bummed to hear this.

It’s finally time for the big bachelor party and you know it’s wack if Mr Raditch, aka DJ Rompin Raditch is in the house hanging out with Craig. The bell rings and it’s the gruesome twosome of JT and Toby. I have no idea why they’re dressed like Miami Vice, but they are. Craig get’s instantly annoyed with them because they came way too early and they mention to Joey how they want to be there when the stripper arrives. Joey tells them both to fuck off, but JT throws Craig under the bus and asks why he get’s to be there. Joey says that Craig can watch MTV Canada and jerk off in his room because there is no way in hell that he’s going to be watching the stripper. With that, Craig in a fit of rage slams the door in their faces.

At a Mexican restaurant Spike shows her racist side and threatens to kill all the Mexicans in the joint if the Mariachi’s don’t stop playing. She needs to watch it with that shit or else Machete is going to come after her. I had no idea there there were any Mexican’s in Canada. I thought it was mostly white and disabled people. Mustn’t forget the Greeks. You learn something new everyday. Moving on, Spike lets on that for the second time in her life, she’s made a big mistake and has gotten pregnant again. I love how she’s decided to have an abortion just from what Snake said. Especially since she hasn’t even bothered to tell him yet. But everyone knows that if she decided to keep it or not, Snake would have no say in it because that’s just how Spike rolls.

Back home, Emma and Manny are discussing the whole Sean debacle and Emma keeps asking if he was upset. Emma mentions that she hopes that Snake takes the baby news as well as Sean took the don’t come to the wedding news. Manny mentions how her family members like to fuck and she has about 20 aunts and uncles. Spike walks in all dejected and she lets on to Emma that she’s thinking of terminating the pregnancy.

This episode was another mini reunion for the original Degrassi cast. Although you’d think that more of the original cast would have returned instead of just Caitlin and Lucy. I’m sure Fat Nancy could have gotten out of participating in a hot dog eating contest. Spike of course annoyed the shit out of me, but what else is new. So tune in next time to the shocking conclusion to White Wedding.